believed behavior

Dean is allowed to refuse to do things Sam’s way.

Dean is allowed to disagree with Sam.

Dean is allowed to be angry when Sam abandons or betrays him.

Dean is allowed to keep his feelings to himself.

Dean is allowed to have feelings regardless of whether they are what Sam thinks they should be.

Dean is allowed to call out even a loved one for hurting him or betraying him, especially if they keep doing it.

Dean is allowed to be afraid or nervous that they will do it again.

Humans are allowed to do all of these things, and as a person, so is Dean. None of these make Dean controlling, abusive, or cruel. Framing it as such what an abuser does to keep their victim in line. It’s a method certain people use to manipulate someone else into silence or compliance. Dean falls for it because of years and years of formative, psychological abuse, but that doesn’t make it even remotely true or right or even acceptable.

I don’t normally ask for help, but I think I should ask for help

This is my Handsome Nice Boy, the Creamy Boy, Spice

I’ve had him for ten years.  He loves hanging out with people and being brushed and sleeping on the cleanest, darkest clothes he can get his sheddy little white butt on.  He’ll sit and sleep near you (usually above you) all the time.  He has the loudest purr I know and will purr with reckless abandon.

And I have to give him up.

I have another cat, Pepper.  Spice cannot handle being in a house with another cat.  It makes him anxious and results in territorial spraying behavior which, despite multiple vet visits, medications, cleanings, pheromones, all manner of solutions, will not stop.  

My parents are fed up with his behavior.  They believe that euthanizing him is the most humane thing to do, rather than abandoning him.  The only reason they haven’t put him down yet is because I have been begging them not to, stalling, and trying desperately to find another place for him.  I attempted to have him brought to my apartment, but this has become impossible and unhealthy for him.  All no-kill shelters I have contacted so far have been unwilling to take an ‘unadoptable’ cat.  

I know for sure Spice would stop this behavior and would be happier in an environment where he’s the only cat.  I’m making this post after months of doing everything I can to keep him alive, and I’m running out of options fast, in the slim hopes that someone might be willing to take him.  He’s happy, healthy, still full of life, and absolutely doesn’t deserve to die.  

If there’s anyone out there who might want to take him, or know someone who might like a boy like him, or even has recommendations for shelters, please let me know.

AS OF JUNE 2nd, SOMEONE HAS COME FORWARD TO ADOPT SPICE. THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO SHOWED CONCERN FOR HIM!

Miscellaneous Clark Kent headcanons as relate to my little fic universe, that may or may not ever come up because who knows:

  • Little Clark was really susceptible to childhood superstitions for some reason. He didn’t go under ladders, he did the salt over the shoulder thing, he did not fuck with that Bloody Mary shit like NOPE I’M OUT THIS SLUMBER PARTY IS CANCELED, LANA GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND TAKE YOUR MURDER GHOSTS WITH YOU. He believes that he is over this as an adult but whenever his foot is about to fall on a crack in the sidewalk it actually stops like a half inch above the ground and hovers there. He does not notice he is doing this. No one notices, ever, because it is the weirdest subtle unconscious thing in the world. At least Martha’s back is safe?
  • I covered the picky eater thing in Christmas in Kansas but to be more specific his tastebuds are just really sensitive to certain chemical compounds? Not just in terms of things he won’t eat but also in terms of things that he expects to be there and he doesn’t really like foods that lack those things. Your two options to make him eat anything are to cover it in sugar, or cover it in garlic.
  • He goes through a lot of breathmints. Can you imagine if Superman saved someone and they were like “man i appreciate being alive but he had some really bad garlic breath”? He would be so horrified.
  • He has a ratty, fucked-up old shirt that he wears whenever he is making pasta with red sauce. Even Superman cannot stand against the ability of red sauce to end up on whatever you happen to be wearing. HE WAS SO CAREFUL THIS TIME, HOW DID A STAIN END UP ON HIS BACK THAT JUST MAKES NO SENSE. Clark Kent’s weaknesses: kryptonite, tomato stains.
  • His ability to perfectly imitate anyone’s voice was one of the first things to manifest themselves, but this wasn’t the kind of thing anyone noticed was weird. It definitely didn’t seem like a power. He was just a small child who could do a really good Kermit the Frog. He sang Rainbow Connection at a middle school talent show and all the moms cried.
  • He definitely has a playlist to cheer himself up and get pumped and it has Eye of the Tiger and You’re the Best on it. Probably also half the Top Gun soundtrack.
  • Clark Kent’s twitter is pretty standard snarky newsman except with more farming memes. No one can tell how ironic the farming memes are. They might not be ironic at all. Clark Kent might be really sincere, or he might just be so ironic that he has circled back around into sincerity. No one knows. He’s also really good at that thing where you retweet two things from a person that side-by-side reveal they are a dingus. I don’t know if there’s a word for that.
  • His Snapchat is all dogspotting, with occasional rare dance breaks. He’s a pretty good dancer since he found those YouTube tutorials. He does this thing with his hips that Lois finds deeply upsetting for reasons she cannot articulate.
  • Jimmy asked Clark how he got so fit once and Clark was like “uh, farming. farm. eyup.” But he kept pressing for deets and Clark ended up just telling him that he’d pulled a Milo of Croton??? He lifted a newborn calf over his head and then just did that every single day until he was lifting a cow over his head. Jimmy knows nothing about farming or cows or physical fitness and this seemed plausible enough to him.
  • He has a blog where he posts rejected articles and it is the wonkiest thing in the entire world because that is why they got rejected. Perry takes one look at these articles and is like “it will take more words than I want to pay you for just to explain the setup for this article and also there are five people total who care, in the world, including you”
  • He has to be really careful when he buys clothes because he needs to make sure that they aren’t too tight and he has full range of motion. He does not want to relive The Skinny Jeans Incident. Shirts that say ‘I flexed and the sleeves fell off’ are only funny until it happens to you, then they are just horrible reminders. Popped seams everywhere. There is no way to explain that without looking like a huge tool.
  • Even when Superman has a really shitty day he keeps it together until he gets home, but then he shuts the balcony door and peels off his costume and Clark does the Tina Belcher groan for like ten minutes while he takes a shower because he got covered in sewer mutant or space crab or god knows and UUUUUUUUUUGH. Fortunately the nice older lady in the apartment next door always seems to know when he has had a shitty day and she brings him pie.
  • She can hear his melodramatic bullshit from over at her place, that’s how she knows. They share a bathroom wall and it practically echoes. If she times it right he will answer the door before he has put a shirt on because he doesn’t want to leave her waiting in the hall. She does not know what his day job is and it definitely does not occur to her that he is Superman because her primary interaction with him is that he acts like a whiny bitch and she brings him pie so she can ogle him. She is a simple woman who enjoys life’s simple pleasures.
  • The Kryptonian language is really complicated in terms of tonality, context, word order, musicality, etc, and the written language reflects that. Things like the order things are in, how things overlap, colors, etc, are all important. So basically I really like the idea of his symbol being one that represents his family name and says that he is of the House of El. It’s really just basically his last name.
  • If Starfleet gets to have replicators then Krypton gets to have replicators and Jor-El definitely stuck one in the ship so his son would have, you know, food and clothing. But only Kryptonians can use their tech because they’re who the neural interface is designed for so whoops they got real lucky that Kryptonian babies love milk from Earth goats. Clark only started using the replicator later but it only knows how to make Kryptonian things and only some of those are useful to him.
  • Okay so here is where I tie those last two bullet points into something fucking dumb that you will take out of my cold dead hands: Clark got the costume out of the replicator. It didn’t necessarily understand what he wanted though? Like, the concept of a costume didn’t really translate, but it got the idea that he wanted an active uniform, so that is what it made. It’s brightly colored and has his last name on the front. Clark is wearing a Kryptonian football jersey is what I’m getting at. Later Kara will be VERY confused by this. Imagine ending up on an alien planet and meeting your cousin and he’s been fighting crime dressed like a quarterback.
  • Most telepathy does not work because different neural patterns. Diana can only manage it if she uses her lariat and even then it’s like trying to lasso a freight train that does not stop. It’s extremely disorienting. J'onn has just accepted that Superman can hear him but he’s not going to get anything back. It’s like the psychic equivalent of a dial tone for him. He’s trying to call his bro but their family has dialup. He tries not to fuck with it because he doesn’t want to poke around in Superman’s head blind and break something.
  • Clark can’t type with super speed because he’ll break the keyboard and the computer can’t keep up. Instead he uses shorthand along with a custom set of AutoHotKey macros and it is honestly infuriating how fast he can get things written with this setup. But also if he doesn’t have AutoHotKey on whatever he’s typing with then sometimes Lois will get an email like: ll] dyk f pw mde a dec wrt t $l stry? ]ck
  • A woman was told by her therapist to try talking to at least one person once a week but she decided to cheat by just talking to her empty apartment under the guise of telling Superman about her day because lol he can hear everything allegedly so this definitely counts and is what the doctor was going for with this. When she has to go to the hospital for a medical emergency she comes home and there is a note on her counter wherein Superman explains that he was worried because he hadn’t heard from her in a while, so he swung by to check on her. When he found out what happened he watered her plants and fed her goldfish and also that cat that he thought might be hers (she does not have a cat). She is completely mortified because she was just being full of shit she did not actually believe he could hear her oh god what all did she even say and whose cat is this???
  • Look if you are in Metropolis and you loudly say HEY SUPERMAN there is a very good chance he will hear it even if he doesn’t mean to. He is not trying to eavesdrop, that’s just what happens when you yell someone’s name in earshot.
  • He doesn’t wear the costume under his clothes because you may have noticed a running theme here where the universe is conspiring to ruin his clothes and leave him running around shirtless all the time. I mean thank god for the rest of us but he would rather not risk someone spilling their drink all over him somehow and suddenly his shirt is transparent and you can see the big S. It’s bad enough when it happens under ordinary circumstances. How often can one man get drinks spilled all over him? You would be shocked. Shocked. His eyes are up here, Lois.
my favorite words

petrichor: noun, the smell of earth after rain

fanciful: adjective, something so imaginative that it’s unrealistic

eunoia (greek) εὔνοια: noun, the fine, light rain that falls from a clear sky at sunset; evening serenity

palinoia: noun, the obsessive repetition of an act until it is perfect or mastered

selcouth: adjective, unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous

Pistanthrophobia: noun, the fear of trusting someone

scintilla: noun, a tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing; a barely-visible trace

fanaa (hindi) فناء: noun, destruction of oneself, typically in love

vorfreude (german): noun, the joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining the future; daydreaming

agowilt: noun, unnecessary fear

honne (japanese) 本音: noun, what a person truly believes; the behavior and opinions which are often kept hidden and only displayed with one’s closest confidants

alharaca (spanish): noun, an extraordinary or violent emotional reaction to a small issue

gezelligheid (dutch): noun, the coziness, warmth and comfort of being home, or being together with friends or loved ones sharing time in a pleasant and nice atmosphere

meraki (Greek): noun, the soul, creativity, or love put into something; the essence of yourself that is put into your work

balter: verb, to dance artlessly, without particular grace or skill but usually with enjoyment

querencia (spanish): noun, a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

whelve: verb, to bury something deep; to hide

The Real ENTP

The Fake ENTP

ENTPs are random, ADHD assholes with a god complex. Every ENTP thinks (s)he’s the smartest, coolest, most powerful person on Earth and won’t shut up about it. They have random nonsensical ideas that can never work in the real world and they can’t focus on anything for more than thirty seconds unless someone threatens their pride. ENTPs are sociopaths and narcissists that can’t think about anyone else except themselves. ENTPs do nothing but make inane puns, brag, argue stupid stuff they don’t believe in, and pretend to make science doodads that everyone knows would never work in the first place. They’re annoying, unfriendly, and only entertaining in the drinking game sense of the word.

I may be a little biased here, but ENTP stereotyping is some of the cruelest I’ve ever encountered. ISFJs and ISTJs are underappreciated, and ENTJs are treated rather cruelly, but ENTPs, more than any other type, seem to be the butt of the mbti joke. The above picture is a great representation of the kind of mbti-flavored bullying we get. And, unlike with any of the other types, the ENTP stereotype accuses us of being the opposite of everything we want to be. It accuses us of being stupid, uninspired, inane, and worthless. It paints us as below everyone else. As dilettantes. As fakes.

The Real ENTP

ENTPs are surprisingly rare on television, and the few that exist tend to be grossly one-dimensional. Ferris Bueller is a rare well-rounded ENTP character and does an excellent job representing the type as a whole. Ferris is cogent and deliberate, has theories and insights on a wide array of topics. delights in characterizing others and predicting their behavior, and believes more than anything in pushing boundaries.

The ENTP stereotype that most confuses me is that we’re loquacious. In my experience, ENTPs rarely exhibit the kind of dominating chattiness with which we’re characterized; rather, we like to sit and analyze a conversation, then jump in if and only if we feel we have something to contribute. This may seem contrary to the notion of extraversion, and it is. The only extraverted aspect of our behavior is that when we are involved in a conversation, we like to be in control. Ferris Bueller only finds himself in the center of attention during the film, but note that he speaks slowly and deliberately. There’s no jumpiness, no hyperactivity. His ideas and speaking are refined, even when he makes connections (”I could be the walrus; I’d still have to bum rides off of people”).

ENTPs are also known for having a variety of good ideas on which they rarely follow through. This isn’t inaccurate, and constitutes one of our biggest self-criticisms. However, I would venture that the negative nature of this quality is a product of the society we live in. I believe our society is optimized for Judgers, and values productivity and goal-orientation over thought, perception, and expression. ENTPs serve an important purpose as quick analyzers and idea generators. In fact, these qualities make ENTPs excellent leaders; they can establish a vision for their team, find the right people, and empower them to be self sufficient. The ENTP is then free to generate ideas and delegate the execution of those ideas to choice members of the team, freeing them to anticipate the next frontier for the long-term team vision.

ENTPs are often accused of being impractical, but this is largely unfounded. As an ENTP I can vouch for how uncomfortable it is to have an idea but no idea of how it could be realized. However, ENTPs don’t much care for details, and won’t elaborate on the realization process, relying on more skilled experts to fill in the gaps.

And I feel compelled to mention the ENTP superpower: Systems Thinking. ENTPs are excellent at seeing the big picture, internalizing very complex interdependent systems, and boiling them down to their basic essence. In fact, the creation and optimization of these complex systems is one of the most enjoyable activities for an ENTP, and positions that afford them the opportunity for Systems Thinking will benefit the ENTP as much as the ENTPs aptitude will benefit the position.

Mistypings

Bear with me. There are FIVE mistypings for the ENTP. It’s bad guys. It’s bad.

ENTPs are most commonly mistyped as INTPs. In fact, I would say that ENTPs are more often typed as INTPs than as ENTPs. This is because ENTPs are not especially extraverted in the colloquial sense, as mentioned above. ENTPs need their alone time and can be happy for a long time without social contact. Moreover, we aren’t always talkative in social situations. What makes us extraverts behaviorally is that, when we are involved in a conversation, we like to be in control. The other, more important, mbti reason we are extraverts is that we lead with Ne. Ideas, vision, and elegance are more valuable to us than mere verisimilitude. In math, for example, we’ll scorn an ugly equation, even if it’s accurate, vying for a model or perspective that lends a more elegant solution. INTPs, on the contrary, just want to find the truth, regardless of elegance. Intuition is merely a means to analyze the world rather than a virtue in its own right.

ENTPs have a rarely matched passion for learning, and, under the right conditions, will excel spectacularly in school. These ENTPs, though less common than the ENTPs that do poorly in school, can be seen as studious, organized, diligent people, and these qualities scream J to the ignorant, causing the studious ENTPs to be mistyped as ENTJs. There are many differences between ENTJs and ENTPs, but most notably, ENTPs care about ideas more than anything. We love to explore new perspectives and think abstractly. Think about the ENTP superpower. ENTJs, on the other hand, have a different superpower. Their well-known superpower is their executive talent, their ability to organize large events and logistics with lots of moving parts. ENTJs will think about the whole system too, but don’t delight in the abstract. ENTJs delight in results.

Male/Female stereotypes create a big problem in mbti, because people often fail to attribute female behaviors to environmental factors and social influences, instead assuming those behaviors are the result of a strong feeling function. The same goes for male feelers mistyped as thinkers. The difference between an ENTP and an ENFP is that ENTPs are more excited by logic, analysis, and theory. ENFPs, on the other hand, are more excited by ethics, inspection, and philosophy. Both types will have a variety of disparate passions, both types will be intelligent, analytical, and insightful, and both types will have a passion for learning. However, thinkers believe that conclusions can be reached and that things are fundamentally similar, while feelers believe that there are some problems that cannot be answered and that things are fundamentally unique. Because of this ENTPs will attempt to come up with theories that apply universally, and will insist that universal truths exist. ENFPs, on the other hand, will advocate for analysis on a case-by-case basis and insist that a large number of individual factors must be considered to come to any meaningful conclusion.

One of the most interesting mistypes for the ENTP is the INTJ. INTJs and ENTPs are incredibly similar on a number of levels because they share the same function stack. They have the same values, the same general thinking style, the same tendencies and distinguishing mannerisms, the same world-view… what separates them is the specific method of cogitation. INTJs lead with Ni, a patient function which takes its time to fully digest a problem before venturing any solutions or ideas. This patience also allows Ni to make long distance connections to ideas and events learned long ago. Lead Ne in ENTPs, however, is not patient. ENTPs will dive right into a subject and immediately begin to ideate an theorize. They generally prefer to make internal connections and reference ideas and facts that have been relevant in the past month or so. The long term connections they do make, they make with Ti. These connections are very different from Ni’s shower-thought epiphanies; Ti stores information rigid collections of abstract attributes, while Ni stores information as a lose, spanning network of associations and relationships. INTJs also have executive skills and can enjoy project planning and execution of goals, while ENTPs are usually averse to this type of thinking. This attribute also causes INTJs to exhibit finishing-anxiety, while ENTPs have no trouble dropping a project as soon as it becomes boring.

The single most aggravating mistyping, however, is as INFPs. I don’t fully understand why this mistyping exists, but I’ve seen it many times. I would venture that it happens as a mix of ENFP and INTP, but that would suggest that it happens disproportionately more to females, while, in fact, it seems to be more common among male ENTPs. There are a couple factors that I think connect the ENTP and the INFP personality types: both are creative, both have very independent value systems, and both really enjoy psychology. So I imagine the non-psychopathic ENTP males with an exceptional penchant for psychology would type as INFPs. However, this is also not supported by data. One such ENTP I know who was repeatedly mistyped as INFP has Asperger’s and is known for his callous disregard for the feelings of others. Moreover, he has a distaste for psychology and for the nature of other people’s minds entirely. I have absolutely no idea why this mistyping happens, but it does. So watch out for it, I guess… can’t really help beyond this.

anonymous asked:

Racist furry trash. Please kill yourself. The world would be better without you freaks. No one would miss you.

Anon, I actually laughed out loud, really loud, reading your hatred-filled ask. Because they are sooo opposite to reality, I started to think: am I staring through the looking glass, looking at an inverted reality?

You see, I am quite popular that when I finally leave this earth due to old age (still decades to come), many would undoubtedly be missing me. Maybe not you, though, because, well, you’re anonymous. So there’s near zero hope for us to get acquainted.

(The non-missing goes both ways though. I mean, if you’re nobody, then how will people lament your passing away? 😦)

Also, I wear my furry badge with pride, because I am a furry and I actually make the world a better place, through my job, and through my day-to-day action. Directly and indirectly. One smile at a time.

(Do you realize, though, that by wishing someone to die, it is actually *you* who make the world a much sadder place by spreading hatred instead of compassion?)

Finally because everything you have said in your ask are opposite to reality, I’m starting to suspect that it is *you* who are actually a racist. Definitely not me 😊

Sorry anon, if you want to make me so depressed that I want to commit suicide, you have to do better. Much better. Much much much better. Like, maybe, a thousand times better?

You see, I have lived on the earth for more than forty years. I have journeyed through the darkest and brightest years, I have tasted the sweetness and the bitterness of life, I have seen them all. Been there, done that. Sour words no longer have any impactful effect on me 😎

Originally posted by zootopepo

3

He thought I was a pervert. That’s fair.

Lunch break weaving with Priya, the cutest lil’ cat dog in the world.

*screams into the abyss* STOP WRITING FICS WHERE THE MALE LEAD IS CONTROLLING AND JEALOUS, IT IS NOT HOT OR SEXY, IT IS ANNOYING AND SOMETIMES IT LEADS READERS TO BELIEVE THAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR IS ACCEPTABLE AND NORMAL! A GUY SHOULD NOT “PUNISH” YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU EVEN LOOKED AT ANOTHER GUY!!! A GUY SHOULD NOT GET MAD AND POSSESSIVE JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE OTHER MALE FRIENDS!!!

On Gray Taking Juvia More “Seriously”

Okay, so I know that this post is long overdue and that this matter has already been addressed thoroughly, especially in this awesome post by @rieriebee, whom I’d also like to thank for all her feedback and insight (Love ya, girlie! <3), but, in my defense, I was on hiatus when chapter 499 of FT had come out and never had the chance to share my thoughts until now. Besides, considering that we’re mere weeks away from the ending of the series and from seeing Gruvia and the other ships become canon, I suppose that now can also pass off as a slightly appropriate time for publishing this post. (Let’s just call this a bit of a reflection on Gruvia’s development and use it as an excuse to drown in our feels. Okay? Okay. >_> <_<)

As usual, I’ve placed the contents of this post under the cut, in order to avoid taking up too much room and so that people who’re uninterested can skip it. The usual disclaimer/warning that the contents of this post merely reflect my opinion and that, considering I expect to be treated with the same respect that I extend to others (in the event anyone disagrees), I won’t tolerate any hate applies here as well. 

Thank you for reading! ^_^

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry if this question is triggering or anything, but I was wondering in what ways an autistic child could be bullied and manipulated by their parents or other important adults using their autism as a centre focus? For example, a young child with sensory issues that prevents him from tolerating liquids on his skin being forced kicking and screaming into the shower (the parents know that he doesn't like water) etc?

Hoo boy, this is a very personal subject for me. I grew up in an abusive family, and I have lots and lots of personal experiences I can share as examples. Obviously this is not even close to an exhaustive list, just some examples from my personal experiences.

Do be aware that this post will contain descriptions of emotional/verbal abuse and some physical abuse. If anyone is uncomfortable with this topic, feel free to skip the rest of the post.

First off, let’s take a moment and look at why autistic children get abused. In some cases, a parent would be abusive regardless of whether the child is autistic or not. In such cases, the parent has their own psychological issues that influence them. If you’re writing this type of abusive parent, it’s a good idea to delve into their backstory a little bit and decide what their reason is for being this way. Portraying them as “evil” without a reason isn’t accurate and can even be harmful for real-life victims of abuse whose situations are not so clearly black and white. There are many possible reasons someone might be abusive, including having been a victim of abuse in the past and certain psychological disorders which can cause some people to act abusively, such as narcissistic personality disorder - but this blog isn’t about those topics. If you are looking for resources for writing such characters, we recommend paying a visit to @scriptsocialwork and/or @scriptshrink.

Another type of abusive parent is abusive specifically because their child is autistic. They may not realize the child is autistic. They may believe the child’s behavior is due to environmental factors, or that the child is willfully difficult. They may think they can make their child less sensitive or more social - more “normal” - by forcing them to “face” the things that upset them. They might feel like a victim who has been cursed with a difficult child and lash out at that child, or they might feel they need to be a superparent who cures their child of their difficulties by force. They may believe they are doing the right thing with this abusive behavior. They may also be responding to pressure from teachers or other parents who think that the child’s “problems” are the result of the parenting style and push them to be stricter, etc. They may be praised by others for this abuse of their child. And then there is “therapy” where autistic people are abused by “experts” who think their autism can be cured.

It’s important to note that abuse does not have to be intentional. If the abuser doesn’t realize what they’re doing is wrong, or isn’t intending to hurt the victim, that doesn’t make it not abuse.

That said, let’s look at some specific ways autistic children can be abused by their parents. Sadly, these examples are far from rare, and in most cases, the parents even believe they are doing the right thing by hurting their child in this way. As a side note, while we like to push for positive representation of autistic people, this is a subject which is not often addressed, and having an autistic child living through abuse in a story could be a very helpful thing for the world to see and learn to understand, so that changes can be made.

Physical Abuse

All types of physical abuse that can be used on allistic children can be used on autistic children as well. If the child is particularly sensitive, the abuse can be even more harmful. This includes all types of hitting, spanking, and other physical attacks on the child. All of these methods have been proven to be detrimental to the mental health of a person as they grow up, and children who are physically abused (even just spanking) have been shown to have greater psychological problems later in life.

In addition to these “classic” methods of physical punishment, anything that involves the autistic person’s particular sensitivities can be abusive as well. The example given in the ask of a child being forced screaming into a shower is a good one. From my experience, I can also add:

  • Being forced to go swimming despite sensory issues with still water on the skin. I was forced to take swimming lessons at a summer camp despite the water on my skin causing me to panic, and was consistently reprimanded for “refusing” to pass the tests at the end of each level and remaining in shallow water at all times. 
  • I was also once, as a teenager, picked up and thrown into a natural pond by my father’s girlfriend. Everyone else was going swimming on this hot summer’s day, but I didn’t want to because, in addition to not liking swimming, I was having my period. I didn’t want to communicate that in front of everyone, so I tried politely declining. My father’s girlfriend, who was “fed up” with me refusing to participate in group activities, physically picked me up, fully clothed, and threw me screaming into the pond. Everything fell out of my pockets and sunk to the bottom, and the pad in my underwear was soaked through. I ran sobbing into the house while my dad’s girlfriend continued to shout after me that I was being ridiculous and rude to everyone.
  • Once, as a “punishment” for not taking part in a social activity (I was overloaded and went off on my own to read for a while in a quiet spot), my bed was sabotaged by my father and sisters. Everything metal in the room, including a set of metal dumbells and a guitar stand, was hidden underneath the blankets and pillow of my bed. When I jumped into bed (as I always did, onto my knees, something everyone in the family was aware of), I landed on metal. I hurt my knees quite badly, but was ignored when I asked for help. Afterwards, when I was limping for a few days, I was yelled at for “making a scene” and “trying to get attention”. (I still have issues with my knees.) After removing the objects from under the blanket, I threw myself down on the pillow, not realizing something was under that, too, and got quite a lump on my head.
  • I was once forced to eat food the taste and texture of which made me gag. My dad’s girlfriend had cooked a sort of strange pizza with unusual ingredients, and I couldn’t choke it down despite being desperately hungry. I tried to get up from the table and was shouted at, told that it was extremely rude to refuse to eat someone’s cooking, and that I was not to get up until my plate was clean. Everyone else quietly ate, finished, got up. My sisters went to play. My dad and his girlfriend went off to do whatever they did. I sat at the table crying for two hours, feeling bruised from the hard wooden chair, my stomach aching with hunger, but unable to eat the food. Eventually my father relented and allowed me to simply go to bed without eating rather than force-feeding me the “pizza”.
  • My mother and grandmother were obsessed with making me “ladylike” (I was widely regarded as a tomboy). Throughout my childhood, I was forced to wear my hair up in braids and ponytails, tightly pulled together with elastics or scrunchies. My scalp was particularly sensitive, and I could feel every hair being pulled out. I cried all the time and begged to be allowed to let my hair down, but was refused. My grandmother frequently insisted that “beauty hurts sometimes” and my mother told everyone that I was known to “make up” aches and pains for no real reason other than to get attention, encouraging everyone to ignore my tears. As soon as I was out of sight, I would always let my hair down. My scalp would hurt for hours afterwards, and then I had to endure being screamed at when I was found out.

Physical abuse can also involve meltdowns, which are often mistaken for tantrums by parents, and shutdowns, which are often mistaken for refusal to speak (the “silent treatment”).

  • I remember having a meltdown at the end of a camping trip with my dad, his girlfriend, and my sisters. The overload of an entire week without any time alone, sleeping on a hard surface, constantly bit by mosquitoes, eating food I didn’t like, and other sensory nightmares of the forest, had taken too much of a toll and I finally couldn’t stand it anymore. When I was ordered to help clean and pack the tent, my brain went SNAP and a meltdown started. All I remember is feeling a need to escape, to be somewhere quiet. I tried to run, and I was chased by an angry father and his girlfriend. I tried to hide in the backseat of the car, which was the only suitable hiding space I could find, and was grabbed by the ankles and ripped out of the car. They were screaming at me to calm down, holding onto my arms and legs with a much-too-strong grip while I thrashed around, unable to control my body, sobbing my eyes out. I was “in trouble” for weeks after that for “throwing a tantrum” instead of helping out like the others.
  • During shutdowns, when I typically go nonverbal and am unable to speak, I have frequently been grabbed, shaken, pushed, etc. as attempts to force me to speak while I “rudely” “refuse” to communicate.

These are just a few of the many examples of physical abuse from my childhood. There were also plenty of unpleasant situations that weren’t abuse - for example, when I had to put my shoes on quickly because we were late for something important, but I didn’t have time to straighten the seams on my socks, and my feet hurt all day as a result. I don’t really blame my parents for things like that. But when a child makes it clear that something is painful or very unpleasant for them, there is no reason to force them to endure it, and the parents insist on forcing them anyway, or use sensory overload or other such things as “punishments” for autistic behavior / failing to act allistic enough, then it is abuse.

Emotional and Verbal Abuse

Even more common is verbal and emotional abuse. All physical abuse is also emotional abuse, but there are many types of verbal/emotional abuse that often go unrecognized because so many people think of abuse as a physical thing. Emotional abuse of autistic people is very common, as many of our traits and behaviors are seen as “deviant” in some way, and it is a common cultural idea that deviant behavior, regardless of whether it hurts anyone, should be corrected or even punished. There are also many parents who feel entitled to a “normal” child and will blame an autistic child for making their lives more difficult. Then there are, as always, some parents who will be abusive regardless of what type of brain the child has.

While most of my physical abuse was at the hands of my father, his girlfriend, and my sisters, my mother was a neverending specter of verbal and emotional abuse. I should note that my mother has her own psychological issues and was equally abusive towards my allistic sisters, though they were far better equipped to deal with it than I was. Here are some real-life examples from my childhood.

  • It was made clear to me from a very young age that what I felt and what I wanted was not important, especially if what I wanted was different from the majority. If my mother wanted something and we didn’t give it to her / do it for her, we were being selfish. If we wanted something, we were being selfish. This was done both to my sisters and to me, but my sisters had the support of friends and teachers at school, who reassured them that it is normal to put yourself first sometimes and that it was not acceptable for a parent to treat their child this way. I did not have any friends and I didn’t know how to communicate my problems to my teachers (or even that I had a right to), so I had no support, and slowly developed a complex of believing I was a bad and selfish person. This led to a series of further abusive relationships later in my life, as I felt I had no right to refuse someone’s demands or stand up for myself. This was made worse by hyperempathy - whenever I felt I might have upset someone, hurt their feelings, or done anything they might find unpleasant, I suffered terribly, so controlling me was always as easy as warning me I would upset someone if I didn’t do exactly as I was told.
  • I always did my best to follow all rules and instructions exactly as they were explained to me, but often misunderstood because I didn’t catch the tone or implications of something. I was screamed at on a nearly daily basis for “refusing” to follow “simple directions”. I was constantly confused, constantly trying to do exactly what I was told, never understanding what I had done wrong. I learned not to trust my own instincts and to think of myself as inferior, stupid, lazy. There was a period of time I considered committing suicide in order to rid the world of my hideous presence, but (fortunately) I could never work up the nerve to do it because I didn’t actually want to die.
  • My sisters and I were all sent to a therapist after my parents’ divorce (when I was 5). I continued to see a therapist or counselor for many years after that, usually through the public school system. My mother frequently attended part of the sessions with me. Frequently, she would contradict me immediately after I spoke (or even interrupt) by claiming something was untrue, that I had made it up, that I had a history of doing that. You might think the therapists would believe their patient over their patient’s mother, but most of the time, they believed her. I was awkward and communicated strangely. I didn’t make eye contact, which they took as a sign that I was being dishonest. And my mother was good at playing the “loving and patient mother” around other people. She actively prevented me from being diagnosed with anything until I was 18, prevented me from getting any actual help, and prevented me from getting any accommodations, because she claimed I was being lazy and entitled.
  • She did the same thing with medical doctors. When I, at age 12, tried to talk to my pediatrician about sleep issues, she butted in and claimed that I slept fine (despite the fact I slept very little and was constantly tired). She did the same when I tried to talk to the doctor about depression and prevented the doctor from recommending a psychiatrist. When I was given medication (such as an asthma inhaler), she took it away and prevented me from using it. She claimed I was simply “being too sensitive” and needed to “toughen up” rather than relying on extra help, or, that old classic, that I was making it up for attention or “just being dramatic”.
  • Due to hyperempathy, I took the deaths of pets very badly. Having to look at or touch a dead animal could cause shutdowns, meltdowns, or panic attacks, as I automatically imagined how it would feel to be dead and was unable to handle the thought. My mother forced me to hold dead pets and bury them myself, then insisted I get another one. She always made me chose animals with short  lifespans so that I would have to face death repeatedly (this is by her own admission, as she proudly explained to me a few years ago - she thought she could make me stronger by forcing me to face death regularly).
  • When I was exhausted or overloaded, I was regularly forced into difficult situations, like going to a crowded shopping center or a party. I was not allowed to spend time alone. When I inevitably had a meltdown as a result, I was screamed at and punished for “throwing a tantrum” and embarrassing her in front of other people.

Again, this is a short list of examples from an entire childhood living with an abusive family. I could write a whole book about this, but this should be enough to get you started.

I am fortunate enough that I was never subjected to ABA therapy, and I was almost always verbal, so I never had to experience certain types of abuse firsthand (and can’t offer personal experiences as examples). We will have a post on ABA therapy soon where you can find more information.

If you decide to write a story with an autistic character who is abused, please do so with care. Rather than relying solely on the examples I’ve given, try looking for other sources. Please find at least one or two beta readers who are autistic and grew up in abusive households (sadly, they’re not that hard to find) so you can be absolutely sure you represent the experience fairly and accurately. All too often, it is seen as socially acceptable to abuse autistic children, because it is not seen as abuse: it is seen as a parent trying to teach a difficult child how to be normal. It does not work that way, and it causes a lifetime of psychological issues and trauma. Stories that show how wrong this is can be a big help in showing the general public that this behavior is not okay, does not work, and should be stopped.

And please, whenever you’re writing about topics like this, be sure to include content warnings somewhere.

Thanks, good luck, and happy writing!

-Mod Aira

Fractal

Omg I’m sorry for taking so long to update. Classes started, it’s dificult to focus and I srsly didnt think this chapter was goign to end up being so long. But alas. I hope you all enjoy it!

a little warning: I wrote a little detailed description of food being eaten so if you are uncomfortable with it, you can skip it, it was mostly for laughs than anything.

Thanks to @lunalocura for being an amazing beta!


Summary: Chaos, besides its own natures, has a little order on it. Chaos, without order, leads to destruction itself. When the object holding the chaos of the world is damaged, maybe a little more than order is going to be needed to fix it. Abomination! AU

AO3


Chapter 4

When Ladybug dropped her transformation inside her room, it felt like as if another weight had been added to her shoulders. Eyes closed and fist clenched, she could feel the worried looks Tikki sent her, waiting patiently for her to speak, which didn’t help to diminish the bitter sensation in the pit of her stomach.  

Too many questions were forming inside her head, bubbling, boiling, twisting her thoughts and making her imagination run wild, with so many different scenarios and so many ‘hows’ and ‘whys’.

Questions that didn’t stop when she comforted Maya after cleaning the akuma and made her brother apologize to her, who hugged the little girl with tears in his eyes, promise after promise leaving the mouth of the teenage boy.

Questions that continued forming when she, as Marinette, forced a smile to the kids and the clearly angry-and apologetic- Ms. Chamack when they said goodbye to her and her mother, who noticed Marinette’s strange behavior and asked if everything was alright.

Questions that only increased when she left her house once again as her alter ego and searched and searched, cold air hitting her face, the smell of winter starting to cover the streets of Paris, the sound of people going on with their lives like they had learned to do after the first akuma attacks.

Questions that came along with a pair of green eyes that belonged to the person she was looking for.

A pair of green eyes that were sad, confused and scared.

A pair of green eyes that were hurting.

And it was all her fault.

Keep reading

6

Good Behavior | 1.06

How will you make sure it doesn’t get all fucked up again? What will you do differently?

I thought you would help.

Mor/Cassian/Nesta Headcanon

The reason Mor is so mean to Nesta is because Cassian keeps stealing her expensive lotion to help himself out every time Nesta gets him all worked up. So she naturally blames Nesta for this thus her whole don’t speak to him, don’t even look at him vibe. Mor finally called him out on taking the lotion and that’s why he’s distant around Nesta a lot of times.

According Judal, Hakuryuu’s role is to think:

Judal is arguably the person who knows Hakuryuu the best, and the latest chapter does a good job to demonstrate that the former emperor indeed is the one who think over things.

He thinks it’s important to find out what is Sinbad’s only regret and asks Aladdin and Alibaba about it:

When he’s not satisfied by Aladdin’s answer he still seeks the truth, this time from Sinbad himself:

Also, let’s not forget that he notices Arba’s odd behavior and believes that she’s up to something:

anonymous asked:

I know several 11-13 year old girls that are reading KS, and it is changing their worldview. If you're an adult, I can't stop you if your want to read that shitshow of a comic, but it's getting to impressionable young people, and as a responsible fan you should always be sure to maintain that this is not behavior that is normal and it is never okay.

If children and young teenagers are getting their moral views from media, the problem is the parents, not the media nor the strangers online for liking it. 

I was once an “impressionable,” young people, and I read and got into shit that was way worse than Killing Stalking. I read fiction that was much worse than KS, and my friends and I grew up just fine. 

We understood the differences between reality and fiction, and I had yet to meet anyone who did not understand the difference, and I have yet to meet anyone who cannot understand the difference between fiction and reality to this day in person. 

Those who cannot separate reality and fiction are not well, they are sick, there are other factors playing in that person’s life that influences them to act out and behavior in a certain way in accordance to fiction. They need help, and or they probably needed better parenting too. 

Kids are impressionable if you force them to sit in front of a TV or computer all day– children learn from their environment and their community more so than media, especially when it comes from their morals and what’s socially acceptable and what’s not.

You act as if we fans are encouraging and supporting this type of behavior portrayed in Killing Stalking in real life and for real life relationships. How dare you. I’m honestly so tired about being accused for actually validating and accepting such behavior, especially in real life. You honestly don’t give anyone credit, minors or fans, for having brains and being raised right. 
I have not seen anyone in this fandom outright, fully encourage and support such behavior and relationships to happen in the real world, at all, and I am sure as hell not someone who also believes such behavior is okay.

archiveofourown.org
Save Room - Chapter 1 - asbestosghost - Check Please! (Webcomic) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Edited it a bit, got my AO3 invite, made the thing happen!


Chapter ½
Rating: T+
Words: 1.9k
Tags: Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmerman, celiac Bitty, diabetic Jack, there’s some hospital, slightly less believable Bitty baking behavior, Check Please AU, some possibly romantic roughhousing, teasing, dessert angst
Summary:

They’re both in Bitty’s bed, Jack in relentless support mode, and Bitty inconsolable. Jack kisses Bitty’s head, but the smaller boy is far too trapped in his brain to detect its gentleness. “It’s all gone now. Have you ever tasted gluten-free desserts?”

Jack kisses away his tears. “I’d eat it if you made it, Bits.”

“Wet sand,” he moans. “It all just falls apart without flour.”

anonymous asked:

Look I get you're against men. But that's not entirely feminism. In fact true feminism is about equality. Radical ones like yourself tend to ascribe a negative connotation towards this movement. Also to say one gender is superior to the other is utter blasphemy and immature. In many ways you'll see that neither could do without the other, not cuz of reproductive reasons. Calling all men pigs is the same as saying girls are bad at sports. Neither of which is true. History proves that.

Yeah I understand your frustration, and most of the “man-hating” here is tongue-in-cheek. But you must understand that pointing out facts and instances of reality is not hatred. Hell, it’s not even radical. It just is.

Male-pattern violence is a real thing and any crime statistic will confirm that men are responsible for the vast majority of violent crime, and for almost all sexual harrassment and rape of both female and male victims. This is reality. Men being the majority of government and landowners in the world and women being most of the poor is reality. Men getting off to videos of impoverished rape victims every single day and this being considered normal? That’s reality.

Pointing out the problem is not hatred. No one here is calling for the mass culling of men. I’m just pointing out that, historically, they have been a cruel and violent class, and statistically women are safer when away from men.

I don’t even believe men are naturally cruel. I believe it’s a learned behavior. But I also believe that men have very little interest in changing the current dynamic and would keep the status quo of benefitting from the oppression of women if it were up to them. And, for this reason, I am wary of men and I don’t trust them, which, if you acknowledge statistics about acquaintance rape and male-pattern violence, is a very pragmatic position to have.

In short, it’s nothing personal. I have no hatred for men. I am mostly indifferent of them and wish I didn’t have to deal with them so often, because interactions with men are often unpleasant and demeaning. But I wish them no harm.

I wonder, Anon, if you send this kind of message to men who despise women. Because it’s easy to complain that feminists are not male-inclusive enough, but I don’t see misogynists getting messages saying that hating women is not cool.