believe 2

anonymous asked:

I think it's important to be forgiving towards the larries who are leaving their fandom. You probably couldn't get more anti than I am but as long as they don't send hate to anyone, don't approve of others doing so and accept Freddie as Louis's son I don't really care if some of them still think Larry was a thing back in the fetus days. I hate to see people being very judgemental to those who try to move on. With a little help and acceptance many more larries could turn into nice fans.

i am the same. i don’t care what you did believe, or currently believe about the past. im not here to thought police everyone into being little thought clones. what i care about is today and how people are behaving today. call out the bullshit, accept the reality for what it is, and maybe help some others struggling along the way. 

“Seeing this upsets me, so it must be wrong and the people doing it must be bad and evil....otherwise I wouldn't be upset, would I?“

The Anti Mentality and how equating emotions with reality makes fandoms turn toxic

One thing I have noticed when interacting with antis of all kind.

1. They are highly abusive in their behaviour, going as far as telling people to kill themselves

2. They believe their abuse is justified, because they perceive other people’s shipping preferences or fanworks as an attack against themselves

3. As a rule, they never address arguments made questioning whether their perception and their accussations are actually rooted in reality.

It is all about “Seeing this upsets me, so it must be wrong and the people doing it must be bad and evil….otherwise I wouldn’t be upset.“

Thing is….an while back, there was an excellent article on abusive parents and how they bond together in “estranged parents forums”, and the patterns are surprisingly familiar.

Here too, we have abusers, who believe that they are the injured party, NOT based on what has happened or what the facts of the situation are…but on how they feel about the situation.

Here too, we have people pulling a DARVO, denying the attack, and then reversing victim and offender.

Here too, we have people who believe that it is other people’s responsibility to cater to their feelings….and that if other people refuse, this must be because the others are the evil ones….NOT because they themselves are in the wrong.

But take a look at this excerpt from issandei’s article yourselves:

“Posts in estranged parents’ forums are vague.

Members recount stories with the fewest possible details, the least possible context. They don’t recreate entire scenes, repeat entire conversations, give entire text exchanges; they paraphrase hours of conversation away. The only element they describe in detail is their own grief or rage. Nor do the other members press them for more information.

Compare this with the forums for adult children of abusers, where the members not only cut-and-paste email exchanges into their posts, they take photos of handwritten letters and screenshot text conversations. They recreate scenes in detail, and if the details don’t add up, the other members question them about it. They get annoyed when a member’s paraphrase changes the meaning of a sentence, or when omitted details change the meaning of a meeting. They care about precision, context, and history.

The difference isn’t a matter of style, it’s a split between two ways of perceiving the world.

In one worldview, emotion is king.

Details exist to support emotion. […] Context is malleable because the full picture may not support the member’s emotion. […]

Emotion creates reality.

In the second worldview, reality creates emotion.

Members want the full picture so they can decide whether the poster’s emotions are justified.

Members recognize that unjustified emotions (like supersensitivity due to trauma, or irritation with another person that colors the view of everything the person does) are real and deserve respect, but they also believe that unjustified emotions shouldn’t be acted on.

They show posters different ways to view the situation and give advice on how to handle the emotions.

In short, they believe that external events create emotional responses, that only some responses are justified, that people’s initial perceptions of events are often flawed, and that understanding external events can help people understand and manage emotions.

The first viewpoint, “emotion creates reality,” is truth for a great many people.

Not a healthy truth, not a truth that promotes good relationships, but a deep, lived truth nonetheless.

It’s seductive.

It means that whatever you’re feeling is just and right, that you’re never in the wrong unless you feel you’re in the wrong.

For people whose self-image is so battered and fragile that they can’t bear anything but validation, often it feels like the only way they can face the world.”

guess who’s crying bc of Grell again
Once Upon A Time 6x05 Review - A Whole New World
Aladdin and Jasmine come to Storybrooke to finish their story. Meanwhile, Emma finally tells her family the secret she's been hiding.

THIS IS REALLY A GREAT REVIEW, I’ve found it in Lana’s twitter fav ;)

some truths…:

1. Henry’s got 2 other mothers to worry about. (time for some Regal Believer scenes)

2. Emma gave Hook the scissors as more of a peace offering about the secret keeping earlier and not logically thinking through who would actually come through for her. Let’s go back to season 5. Who did Emma trust with the dagger to do what needed to be done?

3. Regina:

more at the link!

       So first thing is first- I have made a mistake and apologize deeply.

        1) I was in like SUPER defense mode. Believe me.

        2) I had ACTUAL humiliation and the ACTUAL kink mixed up. But.
the air was cleared, and turns out it’s a big time kink here.

       3) I made a mistake, I am human, and I apologize. But really- I had my
reasons. And I am sorry if I offended you. IF you have any questions my
IM is open.

All of this to say: and I’m speaking specifically to the self-identified men in the room. If you think of an idea that you think is ahead of the curve or new in any way, be assured that a woman — often times a black woman, but not always — probably thought of the idea first. So do the research. Do the reading. Cite her work. And don’t be an oppressive, patriarchal jackass who erases and undermines the work of women and folks who don’t subscribe to the gender binary. Fellas if you aren’t finding the sources that speak to whatever idea it is you’re interested in exploring, that isn’t because those sources don’t exist or haven’t been written. It’s likely because they haven’t been cited, and they likely haven’t been cited because she’s a woman.

090393 – Min Yoongi
( cr. x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x trans. cr. x/x )

I honestly don’t know what to write. Whenever I write something for people that are important to me I always feel like it’s not enough to show my honest feelings. That’s why I made this huge thing, like I just can’t put it into words. And shit, it would be a lot longer if I didn’t have to worry about assignments, it honestly doesn’t do Yoongi justice. Do I sound overdramatic, like I’m exaggerating? I’m not, I mean it with all the meaning in the word when I say Yoongi is very fucking important to me. People that inspire me have a very important place in my heart and Yoongi occupies a large portion of it. I haven’t met another person until now that has given me as much motivation as this man. When I first heard Nevermind, I was so moved I was shaking, not because I was overwhelmed but because I felt immense anger towards myself.

All this time I was just tip toeing, thank you telling me to step harder. Happy birthday you rap god, I wish you more success ✌