The beauty of being honest
So after a long day full of emotional ups and downs, I
was feeling pretty anxious and generally not feeling well. I felt like taking a
shower, in order to wash away the day and get some clarity.
I pretty often talk with myself. I listen to myself and I have learned to be honest with myself. I open up and allow myself to feel whatever I am feeling and be honest about my feelings and beliefs.
It is necessary to be nice, kind and compassionate to ourselves to allow ourselves to be truly honest. If, when we are honest we judge what comes up or invalidate ourselves for feeling a certain way or believing something, we don’t feel safe and we therefore don’t feel like being honest again.
So I told myself:”Hey, it is okay if you want to open up and tell me how you really feel about this. It is okay if you want to tell me why you feel anxious.”
So I got in the shower and I cried. I allowed myself to feel negative emotion, I allowed myself to cry and be honest. I said.”I need to be loved. I need to be accepted. Just love me and don’t ask me to change. Because I can’t.”
And as I was listening to myself and embracing what was coming up and honoring it, I said something even more important:”I am feeling anxious because I am trying so hard, so hard to be perfect. To be someone I am not. I always do my best not to get things wrong, not to hurt people, not to say or do the wrong thing. Because I know myself to be a well-meaning person, but I am afraid that no matter how well-meaning I am, no matter how hard I try, I am going to do the wrong thing anyway.”
“And I am afraid of doing the “wrong” things because I am afraid you will get angry at me, you will use that very “mistake” as an excuse not to love me and to disapprove of me.”
I was basically telling myself that I am trying to be perfect. To get everything right because otherwise, I would disapprove of myself. But this very pressure is what most often causes us to “fuck things up”, because we act out of fear and we don’t do what we do for the pleasure of doing it (out of Love).
If we, instead, unconditionally love & support ourselves, we can then live life better, in a more relaxed and calm state, because we allow ourselves to experience life, to learn to move as we prefer through life. And this often means allowing ourselves to have any kind of experiences and “failures”!
I love what Abraham Hicks often says:”When you see a two years old learning to walk, and you see him fall on the ground, you don’t say to him “Get up, little dummy!”, you help him and you understand he is learning, and that falling down (sometimes many many times!) is part of the process.”
So we really don’t need to be mean to ourselves. We are still learning to move through Life and probably we will never get to a place where we know everything and everything is clear to us. We are always on our path, for the pleasure of being on it I think, and Kindness, Love and Support for ourselves are necessary ingredients to have a nice and pleasurable journey.
I am glad I was honest with myself. Because now I can work with my feelings, so to speak. And change my approach, because the one I am adopting is causing me to suffer and not feel good. And I am here to be happy, and to feel good (we are all here to be happy I think!).
It is very important to love and embrace myself as I am right now. I don’t need to change to be loved, no one does. We exist, therefore we are worthy of Love & Support. We are perfect just the way we are, and we don’t need to change ourselves to become more lovable. We are lovable because we are. Period.
Allow yourself to be human and feel whatever you feel. Allow yourself to be where you are, to be the way you are and most of all, allow yourself to be You, your true you. Because the Truth is, the world needs you. The world needs you to be YOU. You are Unique, Special, Important and Needed, just the way you are.
(Very Important: Allow yourself to cry and find relief! Do the things you love babes).
Life always loves you just the way you are. You can too. (PS: you are life <3).
I now choose to Love and Support myself unconditionally. No matter what I do, no matter what I say, no matter how I feel, I always, at all times, under all conditions, deserve my own Love and Support. Yes, I am this worthy!
PS : I know you are doing you best. And your best is enough Soul. Relax, Breathe, All is well <3