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THINGS I LOVED ABOUT RED ARMY, AN INCOMPLETE LIST:

  • oh my god slava fetisov doesn’t give a single fuck about anything, LITERALLY NOT ANYTHING, he’s always like “this is a cute documentary u’ve got here, GABE, but ur lookin at a living legend so just give me a few minutes to totally crush this level of bejeweled on my iphone”
  • TRETIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK
  • all the footage of anatoly tarasov being like, “NOW DO HANDSTANDS!!! NOW DUCK AND ROLL!!!! NOW DO THE CHICKEN DANCE!!!! NOW STAND ON YOUR HEADS AND BLOW BUBBLES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!! trust me this is all in the name of hockey, i would never lead you astray and make you look like an idiot for no reason for sure absolutely (lol)”
  • the ex-KGB agent who is trying to give a Very Serious Interview but his 6-year-old granddaughter is too busy being super unimpressed by him and basically just wants to be left alone to eat her ice cream
  • GOD ALL THE FOOTAGE FROM THE RED ARMY GAMES, THEY WERE SO BEAUTIFUL TO WATCH, YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS, I KNOW I’M LIKE WEIRDLY INTENSE ABOUT SOVIET HOCKEY SINCE I’M NOT EVEN SORT OF A LITTLE BIT RUSSIAN BUT GOD IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL TO WATCH HOLY SHIT
  • did i mention that fetisov spent his whole life being like “i recognize that you’ve come to a decision but give that it’s a stupid-ass decision i’ve elected to ignore it”
  • idk guys the russian five were just…. super interesting and all of the interviews are going to reach into your heart place and poke at your feelings until you cry
  • god, GOD, there was one scene where it’s showing fetisov in his first season with the devils and he gets totally clocked in the head by clark and the look on his face, the LOOK ON HIS FACE, like, i have literally never hated north american hockey more than in that moment, just fuck you seriously, i know people like their fights but you watch the footage of the russian game and then it cuts to this boring as hell brawl and fetisov looks SO OFFENDED on BEHALF OF HOCKEY and i was in my seat like YEAH, I’M WITH YOU BUDDY, FUCK YOU AMERICA!!! FUCK YOU CANADA!!!!! and then mccarthy rose from the grave and took me to prison
  • TO PRISON

THINGS I LIKED LESS ABOUT RED ARMY, A MORE COMPLETE LIST

  • odd glossing over of summit series?
  • no mention of kharlamov. i’m pretty sure i mean that literally.
  • i went into the film thinking it was going to be about soviet hockey and it was really about the experience of being a soviet player; which was also a really interesting thing to watch and think about! just not quite what i was expecting? it focused really closely on the russian 5, which, i mean, THERE’S A REASON, but it just meant that there was a lot that didn’t get discussed
  • tho you can’t really ask a single film to cover that wide a range of conversation and do a good job, so

OVERALL: 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND EVERYBODY GO WATCH THIS ASAP