being there

6

“It’s a little bit like it’s become her diary. It’s become her way of, as she says, trying to hold on to who she was, who she is and not forget where she came from and who matters to her…She does this everyday, she goes to the same spot perhaps, and talks to this guy.“ - Jason Rothenberg [x]

Talk me down.

Thanks to @wintersoldier28 for asking me to do this. It was inspired from the song Talk me down by Troye sivan. I hope you like what i did with your prompt and it suits the feel of the song for you. 


A crash of thunder brought Magnus out of a sound sleep with a jolt. The fine curtains at the open window in the bedroom were flapping wildly towards the bed like they were trying to retreat from the weather outside. A flash of lightning lit the space with a negative effect for a few seconds and Magnus realised that Alec wasn’t beside him. He frowned and looked at his phone for the time. 3am.

If he got called away for work, Alec always woke him and kissed him good bye but he didn’t remember that happening this morning. He got out of bed and grabbed a pair of pyjama bottoms from the drawer and dragged them on before going out through the door.

The loft was all silent and dark, except for the sound of the storm. Magnus looked around the room but couldn’t see Alec anywhere. Another rumble of thunder sounded, making the night feel ominous and darker than it already was. Magnus felt himself shiver but it had nothing to do with the coolness of the air. He could feel something wasn’t right.

He checked the kitchen and the bathroom before he thought about going back to the bedroom to get his phone so he could call Alec and see where he was. He was headed in that direction when a flash of lightning lit up the room from through the glass doors of the balcony and Magnus turned instinctively to look out.

A lone figure stood at the balcony, facing the city scape opposite. Magnus felt a wave of relief at finally knowing where he was but when he opened the doors, the wind trying to force him back into the living room, Alec gave no sign of being alerted to another presence. He felt a prickle of worry run up his spine.

He went quietly up beside him, cautiously putting a hand on the bare skin of his back. Magnus startled when he felt how cold and wet he was from the storm lashing around him but the thing that really worried him was the fact that he seemed not to notice. Alec’s face was totally without expression as he started out at the city lights. The rain had plastered his hair flat to his head and was running over him in rivulets.

“Alexander, what are you doing out here in this weather? We need to get inside.” Magnus said softly to him, his eyes never leaving his face.

At first, he didn’t know if he had hear him or not because he didn’t give any sign of doing so. Magnus had just opened his mouth again to repeat himself when he finally spoke.

“Do you know what today is?” He still hadn’t looked at him.

“It’s Thursday, Baby. Why?” Magnus was racking his brain to try to remember why today was significant but he was failing to find a memory to fit.

“Yeah, but the date, do you know what it is?”

Magnus tried to clear his mind of the concern he had for Alec so he could focus on what he had asked him.

“I think it’s the 25th.”

“It’s been one year today.”

Magnus was trying desperately to remember what had happened a year ago that would affect his lover this much. He was beginning to feel really guilty that he had to work his brain this hard to remember something that had this much of an effect on him. Then it hit him. Jocelyn Fairchild. Clarry’s mother. Had it really been twelve months since that horrible day?

“If it hadn’t been for me, she’d still be here. Clarry would still have her mother.”

Magnus could feel an ache starting to form in his chest. He had thought that Alec had moved past this but clearly, he hadn’t. He ran a hand up his arm that was braced on the balcony ledge. He needed to get him inside, away from the ledge and out of the storm. He was wet and freezing.

“How about we go inside out of this weather and we can talk about it?” Magnus urged him gently.

For the first time, Alec acknowledged his presence but turning his head to look at him. His face had gone from being completely blank to being a mask of pain. Magnus’ first instinct was to grab him and hold him tight but he knew from past experience that Alec would more than likely pull away from him if he did so he just gently reached for his hand and led him back through the doors with a silent prayer of relief. He shut the doors and then sat Alec down on the sofa before grabbing a throw rug to wrap around him. Magnus wasn’t much dryer than he was from being in the rain but it was the last of his worries. He went into the kitchen and got a clean dish towel and brought it back to sit next to Alec. He gently wiped his face and dried his hair as much as he could before giving his own face a wipe and then threw the towel on the coffee table.

“Alexander, you know Clarry doesn’t blame you for what happened. It happened to a lot of people that day. It was the demon’s fault, not yours.”

“But I should have been able to resist it, Magnus. I’ve been trained to fight demons all my life.”

“Even you aren’t that strong, my darling. You were powerless against it like the others were. Even Isabelle was affected, remember?” Magnus couldn’t help but want to reach out and touch him. He gently ran the back of his fingers down the side of his face, hoping he wouldn’t reject the gesture of comfort.

“But she didn’t kill anyone. I did.”

“If you and Clarry hadn’t been there, she probably would have killed Clarry though. She was possessed by that demon as strongly as you were.”

“But she was stopped. No one stopped me.” Magnus saw tears had replaced the rain running down his face now and his soul ached for this man he loved.

“It hurts me so much to think you were alone with that. I wish I had been with you then, to help you.”

“I wish you had been too. I want to feel you close to me Magnus. Can we go back to bed now?” Alec’s voice was still thick from the hurt that lived in him but his eyes were pleading. Magnus felt like this was a break through. He had never allowed him to be this close to him before when the ghosts of his past threatened to take over. Magnus leaned in and put a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Of course, we can my love. Come on.”

He stood and taking his hand once more led Alec back to their bed and the comforting feel of the silk sheets and soft quilt. As they snuggled in together, it was like the gentle weight of the quilt was trying to offer them peace as well. Alec wrapped himself around Magnus, his head resting on his firm chest, one leg bent over his. Magnus held his arm where it was draped over his stomach, rubbing it to warm its cool surface. He bent his head so it rested on top of Alec’s still damp hair, his other hand gently brushing back the wet strands from his face.

“I just keep thinking of how alone I felt. It was worse than anything.” Alec said. Magnus could feel the warm drops of his tears against his chest and he held him tighter.

“You aren’t alone anymore, my love. I’ll always be with you. I love you so much, Alexander Lightwood. Please don’t be sad anymore. It’ll be alright, I promise.’ Magnus whispered to him, feeling the prick of tears in his own eyes. He rested his lips against his forehead and closed his eyes willing his heart to mend Alec’s.

“I just want feel you near me, know that you are here with me. I love you too” He heard Alec reply, his voice sounded sleepy and tired.

“I’m here for you, my love. Always.”

Magnus had no idea how long they had slept for but the sound of his phone vibrating on the surface of the bed side chest made him stir. He slowly opened his eyes to see Alec was still wrapped around him, his head had moved further down and was now on his stomach but he was still in a deep, healing sleep. The storm had past and the soft watery light of early morning was starting to fill the room.

He reached over and picked up his phone to look at the screen.

There was a single message from Clarry and he opened it to read it.

“I tried Alec’s phone but thought it might be turned off.

Tell him I’m thinking of him and that I don’t blame him for anything. It’s all ok.

Love you guys,

Clarryxxxx

I promise I’ll be there until the very end. No matter who comes, no matter who leaves, I’ll stand there holding your hand always, through everything.
—  Leohearts

I’m happy WTTM is coming out soon but Jesus fucking Christ let me just point something out to y'all: OTAYURI. LITERALLY. JUST. BECAME. FRIENDS. Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate the ship I find it cute, but y'all gotta fucking calm down with your “oTAyURi COnfIrmEd1!1!11!!!1!” bs. Yeah Yurio shoving his fingers in Otabeks mouth is some pretty freaky shit, but who the fuck starts a relationship within like 2 days of knowing each other hmm?? 👀
Y'all I don’t hate Otayuri but forcing their relationship when they’ve known each other for legit two fucking days is a bit ridiculous. I’d like their relationship to develop more before I go full on Otayuri–fangirl k? K.