being sick does this to me

THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE



I am trying to see things in perspective.
My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter
chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot
have this, because chocolate makes dogs
very sick. My dog does not understand this.
She pouts and wraps herself around my leg
like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me
to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in,
she eventually gives up and lays in the corner,
under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the
universe has my best interest in mind like I have
my dogs. When I want something with my whole
being, and the universe withholds it from me,
I hope the universe thinks to herself: “Silly girl.
She thinks this is what she wants, but she
does not understand how it will hurt.

—  THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird
♡angsty/suggestive sentence starters♡

send me a number and a character/ship and i’ll write it! 

  1. “why do you always have to be such an asshole?
  2. “if you’re going to keep running your mouth like that, i can think of a few ways to make you shut up.”
  3. “is there any reason as to why you’re getting drunk on a tuesday afternoon?
  4. “i just don’t want to think for a while.”
  5. “say it again.”
  6. “don’t lie to me.”
  7. “i’m sick of being treated like this.”
  8. “i didn’t mean it like that, and you know it!”
  9. “so this is it?”
  10. “i don’t want to go to bed angry.”
  11. “don’t touch me.”
  12. “i’m pretty good at providing distractions.”
  13. “i’m not saying i want a threesome- but i wouldn’t be opposed to it.”
  14. “just sit down and let me take care of you.”
  15. “is that- blood?”
  16. “i just want to help you relax.”
  17. “does that feel good?”
  18. “i don’t love you anymore.”
  19. “i loved you. past tense.”
  20. “stop lying!”
  21. “jealousy isn’t cute on you.”
  22. “don’t call me ‘princess,’ asshole.”
  23. “i deserve better.”
  24. “you deserve better.”
  25. “you make me nervous and happy and horny all at the same time and it’s confusing as fuck sometimes.”
  26. “you left your underwear back at my place.”
  27. “you just broke the last bit of trust i had in you.”
  28. “i hope you’re happy.”
  29. “does that line ever work?”
  30. “you’re the best i’ve ever had.”
  31. “is that all you’ve got?”
  32. “hit me!”
  33. “tell me this is a dream.”
  34. “let’s keep this between the two of us.”
  35. “is that my shirt?”
  36. “why do you even care?”
  37. “i’m sick of being ‘the other girl/guy.’”
  38. “you love her/him.”
  39. “can you take it?”
  40. “i’m not going to break.”
  41. “we’re not just friends. you know that.”
  42. “friends don’t get each other off.”
  43. “it’s over- and it’s for real this time.”
  44. “i’m not that flexible!”
  45. “you don’t scare me.”
  46. “it’s okay, i’m here.”
  47. “you’re not alone. you never were.”
  48. “i’m in love with you but i don’t want you to hurt me.”
  49. “it’s complicated.”
  50. “you’re the only one.”
youtube

17TH OF MAY SPECIAL

THE GUYS: Dab, dab, dab, dab, dab, dab!!

[HEY BRISKEBY]

MUTASIM: Yes, we love…* Today, it’s the 18th of May, so we’re going to have a, boom, 17th of May special.

ELIAS: What are you doing?

MUTASIM: Bro..

ELIAS: You know this is my Youtube channel, right? And then you come with this 17th of May stuff..

MUTASIM: Look, look, look how tired this guy is and I’m like fresh.

MIKAEL: He has a bowtie.

MUTASIM: Bowtie! I got this, understand?

MIKAEL: [Singing]

ELIAS: But what’s the thing with the 17th of May? Why do we celebrate the 17th of May?

Keep reading

Realest Fucking Panic! Lyrics Ever
  • i need a little sympathy to sore my insecurities
  • our consciences are always so much heavier than our egos, i set my expectations high so nothing ever comes out right
  • should’ve known right from the start you can’t predict the end
  • and being blue is better than being over it
  • you could tell me secrets that i’ll probably repeat; i’m not trying to hurt you, i just love to speak
  • fought resistance nearly my entire life
  • it’s better to burn than to fade away, it’s better to leave than be replaced
  • girls love girls and boys and love is not a choice
  • i want to complicate you, don’t let me do this to myself
  • in the sickness of you, i’m just a white blood cell fighting like hell for you
  • all of trade mistakes
  • you are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card
  • all of the calendar lmao that whole song’s a masterpiece
  • how does a heart love if no one has noticed its presence and where does it go
  • wake up to despise a world i once loved
  • if i wake in the morning i only need two more miracles to be a saint, everything i promised everyone i’d be well i just ain’t
  • ALL OF NORTHERN DOWNPOUR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HOLY FUCK FLYING SHIT
  • can’t take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid; sit back, relax, sit back, relapse again
  • talk to the mirror, oh choke back tears
  • im cutting my mind off, feels like my heart is going to burst
  • things have changed for me and that’s ok

Let’s start it off with the one and only, the canon pairing of a sad sk8er boi and his tiny baker: Jack Zimmerman/Eric “Bitty” Bittle!

Ice Crew Please!

THE FIC THAT CHANGED E V E R Y T H I N G u don’t even KNOW oh my god

u read this and u r like: “ice crew au…?? wut” but U GUYS. READ IT.

I AM. BEGGING U. its so fucking funny but also so fucking meaningful and abt CREATING A Fa mILY !!!! and LoVe!!!! and frieNDShIP!!!

p.s i don’t want to spoil it but if u read it message me and ill talk to u abt the part that made me cry like actual tears bc thank god for friendships and acknowledging that shit is hard

the messes of men

this was… in it’s own way.. a hard fic to read (which makes it the best fic to read! pain! i love it! help me!) it’s very very very beautifully written and i hold it very close to my heart….how it portrays jack by himself and how hard it must’ve been…it also manages to weave in how mental illness plays its own role, even once you get together with the person you’re pretty sure is it for you. somewhat painful but cathartic and achingly tender.

until it got the best of you

umm bitty has a big dick. that’s it.

BUT then there’s feelings! and angst! and misunderstanding! (the best type too! u know when one is like so crazily in love with the other and thinks its shockingly obvious but surprise, it’s not!) it’s just fantastic!

i never saw the signs

imagine a world where jack jumping over the snowbank, bringing bitty coffee, going on long walks classifies (in jack’s mind) as dating. so when bitty gets asked out, jack cannot believe the b e t r ay a l! we’re dating bitty! just read this and be happy :)

left the city, my family, my precinct

oh my goodness this fic.

jack accidentally sends bittle a dick pick.

:0  ;)  <3 ___ <3 = summary of the fic

mixing it up

this is just….so cute?!??!?! and funny?!??! and 1!!!!!

bitty is contestant at a baking tournament for the falconers where jack and tater are the judges. at least, thats where it starts off.

tater is fucking hILARIOUS this fic in general made me laugh a lot.

strawberry

if u about that dom/sub life well…….just know that eric pins jacks hands to the bed and there’s v intense blushing that boi turns red like a tomato and i live 4 it.

eric is a tad too southern for me but it’s the only thing this fic doesn’t do perfectly :))))

something like this

considering how popular this fic is it actually sat open in a tab for a looong loooooong time just bc…well… it’s 285,748 words. im an all or nothing girl as in i once read the entire maze runner trilogy in one night so i had to find the right time

first of all: angst. second of all: angst. third of all: ….. u guessed it… angst. BUT don’t worry, for every drop of angst there’s a metro-fucking-ton of smut and sweetness :)))) ;))) what this fic does brilliantly is create an OMC that is at the forefront of the story and do it seamlessly. this is a pretty iconic fic and tbh im definitely not one for fics longer than 100k but this was a fuckin’ beaut man

rake the springtime across your sheets

oh god this was P A I N F U L but in a very beautiful way??? (that’s how u know the writing was siCK) ambiguously happy ending but tbh in the end this fic is really just abt the unspoken quiet truth of being in love, of loving, of being human just lke Fffffffuck me up

Phone, Please!

listen. i’m not a fluff person. idk i get bored. BUT. BUUUUUT. BUT. this fic.

AMAZING. this fic is all about the details and the little moments that make Bitty and Jack  ~*BittyandJack*~

Bonus favorite line: “Thank god there are pancakes to serve. Pancakes are also very nice, and something he can actually have.”

Winter Clothes

Chowder POV so this is both hiLARIOUS and surprisingly touching. Jack and Bitty help Chowder buy clothes for New England winter. As a person living in New England, I approve this message.

WIPS: *Hate That I Love You plays in the background*

medic, please!

so if u ever played world of warcraft u r gonna love it and if you’ve never played world of warcraft u r gonna love it

this fic is just SO CREATIVE?!?!! like the format of it is B O M B. its just. so good. oh ym god.

(also the name is “medic please!” get it? cuz eric’s a medic in the game.? and check..PLEASE! ugh I’m a nerd 4 this pic

Fainting Psychics and Pessimistic Demonologists

ghostbusters au except not bc copyright

at first i was like…ghost hunters au?? rlly? but now I’m like GHOST HUNTERS AU? B R I L L I A N T.

characters are on point, its funny (an actual line of the fic “Jack sat down at his computer, pulled open a tab, and googled “How to encourage a teammate”. lmao what a mess)

but also theres some mystery and intrigue and suspense and in general this is a Good.

baking is punk as fuck

this is another AU that i was like…punk band u ….rlly? but then i was like PUNK BAND AU FUCK YEAH im a sucker for asshole Jack. i’m not even into punk?? but im into this fic U ___ U

This Don’t Even Feel Like Falling

filed under “praise kink mmmm”

honestly? porn..? “Bitty is the one to tie Jack’s hands for Hazeapalooza; afterward, he ties Jack’s hands for their own private enjoyment. “ like?? I’m not sorry.

but also not established relationship more like fwb but u know and i know and ngozi knows that ain’t the game we’re playing here

around the green and blue

not usually a big fan of soulmate aus but what i love about this fic is the pacing and even tho soulmate aus where seeing your soulmate = seeing color for the first time isn’t totally new this felt super fresh and original!

shine for you

aw MAN this gave me the feeeeeels. established relationship but jack is not out, it’s a bit angsty but the jack perspective is just so gooood

EXTRA: It all started with a big Russian hockey player calling a small cat-loving hockey player a rat. You either h8 it or u luv it. In my case, I Love it, capital L, so enjoy: Alexei “Tater” Mashkov/Kent Parson

careful the tale you tell

Kent has been telling himself a story, ever since the Q. It’s the epic story of Parse and Zimms, and he’s in love with it. // this fic is specifically meant for patater newbies and this fic does an amazing job of showing why kent and alexei just make sense. its honestly a Blessing.

kick on the starter

lmao im gonna be 90 years old and still reccing Febricant’s fics…for real when i saw they wrote patater i was like…no..im dreaMing…or im dead? is . is heaven?? rlly unique approach to how she gets them together and gr8 build up :)))) Bless Febricant

i need to wake up, i need me some love…

honestly? shameless fluff. established relationship (they’re ENGAGED FOR GOD’S SAKE) short but Good

( Because I cannot control myself, here’s another Gaston Headcanon. MORE LIKE HEADCANONS HAHA.).

Originally posted by lukeevanss

  • There’s no doubt that he’d be protective if he actually found himself that deep in love. It’d be a passionate protectiveness that (probably) seems controlling but he’s just concerned for your safety.
  • Comes into heavy play when he goes hunting(which is frequently). You’ve gone with him once or twice, and managed to shoot down a few birds to which he was beaming with pride because “I taught her how to do that. That’s my girl.”
    • The funny thing is, the more his relationship progressed with you, the more he found excuses to let you stay home when he went hunting because he was literally so worried that you would be hurt if he took you with him. (Which, you had never been hurt with him before but still, there was always the possibility.)
      • “It’s just a day with LeFou and I.” is usually the most common thing he tells you, and you bought it the first couple of times but after that it became a bit more suspicious.
      • You start holding your ground and tell him that you want to go.
        • He can’t say no to you, which comes in handy with situations like this so before Gaston really knows what’s happening, you’re getting ready to go hunting with him.
          • “It’s just a blur, LeFou. She says she’s going and I can do nothing to stop it even though I’m afraid for her safety. She’s got this sort of…” His nose scrunches in thought, “Spell on me that makes it impossible to say no.”
          • LeFou probably just murmurs to himself, “If she can handle you, she can handle herself hunting.”
  • Who am I kidding he’s probably always worried for your safety and asks if you need to be walked/escorted anywhere.
    • He’ll usually ask it in a subtle way like, “can I come”. It piques your interest, especially when you’re just going to get something from the store a block from your house. 
    • You chuckle quietly, kissing his forehead before saying, “I think I can manage.”
    • He probably just stands there and watches you walk away, his heart beating a bit harder than before. There’s something about you just leaves him completely starstruck. 
      • “It’s almost as if she… She strikes me down like  lightning gracing the Earth.”
        • To which LeFou gags.
          • He’s lowkey jealous and honestly a bit surprised that Gaston has…. Fallen in love.
      • Gaston probably offers his jacket to you whenever yo complain about being cold because he doesn’t want you to get sick. So, if he ever does give you it, you smile gently, wrap your arm around him and continue to where ever you’re going so the both of you are warm because you are also worried about him getting sick(Despite Gaston constantly telling you that he almost never gets sick). (No stress y’all, I’m making headcanons specifically for that.)
  • After some time together, you finally come to realize that LeFou doesn’t like you because he’s got feelings for Gaston himself. 
    • I’m not kidding, there’s no doubt that LeFou is protective over Gaston himself so like? You take it upon yourself to befriend him and you explain, “I love him and I’d never hurt him. Ever. I know you wouldn’t either. Can’t we just put this behind us and try to be friends? For Gaston?”
      • Things do get better, and slowly over time the two of you become the best of friends and tend to gossip every now and then.
  • You know what, while talking about being protective, I see him being exceedingly possessive at times.(Not all the time) More often than not, it happens in the tavern. With people being drunk, they don’t quite realize that they’re staring at Gaston’s girl.
    • Probably notices when someone is looking at you in that way
      • It starts off small and he’ll gives them a glance of warning, a simple, “back off’ sort of stare.
      • If it continues, it escalates. Gaston wraps his arm around you, holds you close, digs his face into your hair if you’re busy with something else. Just to remind you and who ever has your attention that he’s not appreciating the unwanted attention thrown onto you.
        • Gaston knows that you’re not some prize to be won by some drunkard, and so he stays close to you for the rest of the night. If they happen to start talking to you, he’s right on your hip, taking a sip of his drink while he’s focusing all negative energy their way. Of course, it’s something you notice and you lightly brush your fingers along Gaston’s fingers as he’s holding you from behind.
      • If the situation where one of them leans towards you, or subtly touches you while Gason is not near you, there’s always the possibility of extreme measures. Especially if Gaston notices that it’s unwanted(Meaning, you resist or you scoot away from the touch. He’s got a keen eye for this sort of thing). More often than not, it’s small daggers being thrown at them,close enough to pin their jackets to the wall. It happens so fast, it leaves you a bit breathless and a few moments later, Gaston is next to you, digging his daggers out of the wall and growling at the drunkard, “If she wanted you to touch her, she would have said so. No, get out before I personally throw you out.”
  • Binch don’t get me started on jealous Gaston. (JK please do).
    • Jealousy is probably something that happens rarely, considering Gaston is aware how happy you are with him(And call it cocky) he knows that you’re satisfied too. (HAHA in more than one WAY).
    • He gets what I like to call “ugly jealous”. If he notices you chatting it up with someone you’ve known for a while, and you gesture, throwing your head back when you laugh, staring, etc. He’ll get that burning sensation in his chest, watch you carefully to see if you’re flirting or just being friendly(And TBH he’s got no radar for that.He sees being friendly as flirty a lot of the time.)
      • Because he’s probably confused as to which it is, he takes matters into his own hand and doesn’t lash out but will storm his way over there and kiss you flat on the mouth before saying, “I’m sorry I’m late, LeFou—” He looks up and gives whoever you were talking with a rather cynical smile with, “Well, who’s this?”
        You’re left a bit light headed after the kiss and find it hard to speak and so your friend introduces themselves and Gaston feels at ease knowing that they know you’re taken.
        • Don’t get me started on the body language though. Hands on his belt, legs spread slightly, broad shoulders, he needs to make himself seem more appealing than the other. The subtle, dirty smirk as he talks to them. Even the undertone of his voice, which is actually rather husky and needy. 
          • He makes them know that you deserve him and deserve all of him. You’re the only person who deserves him. Gaston simply plays the intimidation card when he’s jealous and has gotten caught doing so many times by you.
    • I’m screaming because he probably likes it when you catch him doing this because Gaston lowkey likes being told off by you? 
    • “You don’t need to do that every time I talk to someone I know. Trust me, Gaston. You’re the only one I love and you don’t need to worry about someone else coming up and snatching me.” you sigh gently, wrapping your arms around his neck and lifting yourself against him so you can kiss his lips softly. He’s happy to respond to the kiss. His lips mesh against yours a bit harder, telling you exactly what he wanted now that he was being scolded. Snuggling his arms around your waist, he now helps you lift against his body. “And you should know better than to do that. It drives me crazy.”
      “I won’t stop doing it, you do know. I want everyone to know that you’re mine and that,” He dips his head and places a rather heated kiss to your collarbone, “I’m yours.”

I AM SCREAMING AT MYSELF. Thanks for reading guys! reblogs and likes are appreciated! Have a good one <3.

Am I the only one who does not want kpop to be so worldwide known??

Don’t get me wrong, but the idea of kpop being recognized in every corner makes me worried and sick. I like being part of some fandom which is not known everywhere. I like to be in a group of people who enjoy same music and do not spit so much hate. I don’t want kpop become same trash as half of today’s music. And if this continues it will be the same. And another worry is that our beloved boys and girls will be faced to too much pressure. They have such tight schedules right now… how about in few more years? I am not ARMY, but I like BTS… and I am worried that if their popularity will grow, they won’t be able to handle it… and it’s not the only group.

Am I the only one who don’t want kpop videos with one billion views? I am biggest fan of not-that-but-still-underrated groups, but I don’t want them as famous as EXO or BTS, because I know how hard this would be for them. I just want them to be more recognized among kpop world and that they could win some music shows.

I hope I won’t offend anyone. I just wanted to state my worries where may kpop and its protagonists end if it spreads more and more. I just want to stop it. At the beginning it made me happy, now I am more anxious.

Jhope's Bed
  • Jungkook: So who gets to sleep in your bed tonight, Hobi hyung?
  • Tae: Me of course :)
  • Hoseok: ...
  • Yoongi: I think you both should share his bed tonight
  • Jungkook: ...did Yoongi hyung just say we can both sleep in Hobi hyung’s bed
  • Tae: He must be sick. Either way I’m happy with how this turned out. But seriously are you okay with us being in his bed
  • Yoongi: Yes, because he is sleeping in my bed you fucking assholes.

so my brother in law wanted to go on a side quest for his pathfinder homegame, for a perfectly ordinary, but very expensive, emerald necklace. he needed one more player, so I offered to help.

so there’s my bard, his magus, and his two friends first level fighter and sorcerer.

we explored the town, found that despite being almost completely abandoned, this tiny-ass town had a horde of zombies, choker vines everywhere, a cult, and a motherfucking dragon.

We destroyed the choker vines, avoided the zombies, had tea with the cultists. We also found the emerald.

brother-in-law: “before we leave, where is the dragon?”

cultist tells him it lives in this old, ruined keep with no top at the edge of town. where we go, because apparently, I’m slow on the uptake.

Me: “wait. why are we going there?”

Brother-in-law: “because we haven’t killed the dragon”

Me: “… why do we need to kill the dragon?”

Brother-in-law: “well, dragons have hordes.”

Me: “and will continue to have it with more satisfaction when we are dead?”

Brother-in-law: “I don’t care what you do, but I’m going.”

Me (thinking): oh my god. I’m the healer you moron! how am I supposed to just let you do that??

Me: “fine, I’ll go die with you.”

So we go in, and I attempt to talk the dragon out of his horde- which goes over better than expected.

GM (my dad, for reference): “roll sense motive”

my bard: 18

GM: “ you think if you give it the emerald it will let you leave.”

Brother-in-law: “Nope” attacks the dragon.

initiative hits, no one counts as surprised here and the dragon rolls a 2.

I immediately roll up a intimidate check and because it is my character’s specialty, I shake the dragon for four rounds, then the squishies and I fall back to the human-sized part of the structure and let the magus tangle with the lizard.

the magus starts of with a crit, and confirms it. the dragon pulls a full round but only hits once. the following three rounds the magus does near max damage, and the dragon continues to miss for the sake of bad die rolls. Meanwhile, me and the sorcerer are taking what pot-shots we can through the archway.

over all, it goes well, but even with the dragon missing like crazy, Brother-in-law’s magus is being torn up badly.

Brother-in-law: “so can we withdraw-”

Me: “No, we can’t because we had to come into the dragon’s lair and now we are stuck with it because the motherfucker has wings. Now fight the lizard.”

finally the dragon decides it’s sick of how hard it is to hit and climbs up the wall out of the magus reach.

the magus casts an ranged spell, makes spell resist

DM: “okay, it’s dead”

Me: “wait, really? but no one’s dead”

DM: “yup because my dice are mutinous bastards. one more round and you’d have been dead- it was climbing over to go collapse the roof on you”

Brother-in-law: “See, <my name>, it was fine. we-”

Me: “shush. this was luck we should be dead. let’s find it’s horde and leave.”

DM: “you don’t find it- it’s no where in the keep.”

Me: frustrated “well that’s great. then we leave. No, I’m not healing you till tomorrow.”

then we fought 20 cultists. they killed the 1st lv fighter. I blame the ninny that asked the dragon cultist where the dragon was.

All Might

BNHA 130

me: lov these gay characters
some homophobe: ugh, why does everything have to be about romance these days? im sick of hearing about the romance. what happened to gals being pals? dudes being bros? what happened to just being friends? what happeend to platonic toe sucking
me: love thse gay characters

nicky hemmick masterlist (fave moments/most heart wrenching for me bolded)
  • Nicholas Hemmick was the only one who looked genuinely happy to see Neil, and he stepped up to the curb at Neil’s approach.
  • “If you take  German as your elective here, just let me know and  I’ll tutor you. I’m good with my tongue.”
  • “That’s not okay.” Neil said, pointing at the door. “That’s nothing.” Nicky said. Neil caught his arm as Nicky passed and hauled him to a stop. “Don’t let him get away with things like that.” Nicky considered him for a moment, his smile fading into something small and tired. 
  • He smiled when he saw Neil. “Hey stranger,”  Nicky said. “What did you think of Matt?” “He seems fine,” Neil said, not slowing on his way by. “He is fine,” Nicky called after him with a laugh. 
  • “I’m not willing to give up on them yet. I want to fix this.”
  • Surprisingly, it was Nicky who found the strength to cross the room toward her. He crouched in front of her, moving slow like he thought she’d run off if he startled her, and gazed up into her face. “Hey,” Nicky said, soft and nice like the two of them hadn’t spent all summer cutting each other down on the court. “Is there anything we can do?”
  • Neil expected him to fall, but Nicky slung an arm around Andrew’s shoulders and yanked Andrew close to him. It let him take some of Andrew’s weight without it being too obvious what he was doing. Andrew looked ready to say something about the unasked-for help, but Nicky didn’t give him a chance to argue. He pumped his fist and whooped. “That was awesome! We are going to own this season!”
  • “Kid, you’re killing me,” Nicky said. “Why do you always get that deer-in-headlights look when someone does something nice for you?”
  • “I can’t.” It was too ragged and too honest, but Neil couldn’t help it. If he didn’t get rid of that phone he was going to be sick. “Nicky, I-” “Okay, okay,” Nicky said, taking Neil’s hand in both of his. “We’ll figure it out.”
  • “You’re family, so i can tell you”
  • “I thought I could show Aaron and Andrew how to be brothers again. And I’m not giving up.”
  • “I thought God abandoned me; sometimes I thought I failed Him. Halfway through my junior year I started thinking about suicide.”
  • “Erik Klose,” Nicky said, sounding it out like he was saying it for the first time. “He taught me to believe in myself. He showed me how to balance my faith and my sexuality, and he made me okay again. I know it sounds dramatic, but he saved my life.”
  • It could have been the most awkward dinner in the world if not for Nicky. Nicky hated how isolated the twins were and was desperate to make friends with the rest of the team. It was as if he’d developed a sudden allergy to silence. Any time the conversation started to slow he threw out another topic to salvage it.
  • Nicky cradled Andrew’s face in his hands. 
  • Nicky trudged across the room and sank into one of the empty chairs. He dropped his phone on the table and buried his face in his hands. Abby slid into the seat beside him and wound an arm around his shoulders.  Nicky leaned against her but said nothing else. 
  • Nicky caught hold of Matt’s wrist instead. “Thank you,” Nicky said, quiet but fervent. “I don’t know why you did it, but–thanks.”
  • Nicky reached out and scrubbed a gloved hand through Neil’s hair. “You are going to be the absolute death of me,” Nicky said. “Yeah, kid. We’re friends. You’re stuck with us, like it or not.”
  • “It’s not really about the food. It’s about family. Not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we chose. This one,” Nicky emphasized, gesturing between them. “The people we trust to be part of our lives. The people we care about.”
  • Nicky, on the other hand, looked absolutely crushed as he took in Neil’s wrecked appearance. He reached out as soon as Neil was close enough and wrapped his hand around the back of Neil’s head. Nicky was tense as stone but the long breath he let out was shaky. “Oh, Neil,” he said in a choked voice. 
  • He could hear pain in his voice, thick enough to slur his words. Nicky looked stricken with guilt. “I can’t yet.” “I’m sorry,” Nicky said. “I didn’t–I wasn’t thinking. Here, here. Let me. I’ve got it.”
  • Nicky was too afraid to go after Andrew, so he slowly dropped to his knees and slid a hand across the asphalt. He curled his fingers around Allison’s and gave her hand a tight squeeze. 
  • Nicky blew them a kiss when he was handed his red card. 
  • “We’re such hot shit sometimes!”
  • Nicky was a disconsolate mess near the window
  • “A dashboard lighter.” He winced at the awful sound Nicky made. 
  • “You can’t have him,” Nicky said. “He belongs with us.”
  • “Neil or Nathaniel or whoever,” Nicky said. “He’s ours, and we’re not letting him go. You want us to vote on it or something? Be you it’ll be unanimous.”
  • “As a family.” Nicky attempted a smile. It was weak but it was encouraging.

Lemme explain again how reylos are twisting the concept of The Force, since they like to block me, go through my blog, and talk shit about me in posts I CAN SEE but can’t respond to.

“Balance” in Star Wars has never meant half good half evil. If you think it does, you didn’t comprehend Anakin/Vader’s story. The Dark Side is a corruption of the force, like an infection. If your body is 50% infected, it’s not in balance. You’re really fucking sick.

Anakin was The Chosen One who was prophesized to bring balance to The Force. There was a period before he became a Sith where he was still a decent guy, but was being seduced by the Dark Side. That didn’t bring balance to anything, least of all him. He ultimately brought balance to the Force by destroying the Sith, including himself. That’s how he brought balance. That’s the story.

I know damn well balance has been a theme in Star Wars all along. But it’s you who think it means an equal mixture of good and evil who are making shit up. Not me.

Was sent home today because of the flu (it came in like a wrecking ball, I tell you) and when my teacher led me to the door – telling me “If I take my eyes of you, you would probably try to sneak back in” – one of my classmates said behind my back “Sick again? Geez, she’s so weak!”.

It’s not like she was very quiet, and a few others started laughing, so both my teacher and I heard her. I felt ready to keel over, but I still said, “No, it’s okay” when my teacher wanted to turn around and call her out on it.

It’s not like I don’t appreciate the fact that my teacher would stand up for me. It’s just that I literally don’t care if they say stuff like that. That’s because of something my brother told me long ago.

I’ve always been a bit sickly. Probably because of my premature birth – being born three months too early means that lots of things didn’t have a chance to fully grow. Apart from some other little things, my immune system is much weaker than average, Thus, when I was little, I literally spent half of my time in different therapies or with trips to the doctor.

Now, it’s not easy to explain to little children why their classmate has to go see the doctor so often. So when I was in kindergarten, my peers often laughed at me or asked question that I couldn’t answer.

“Why are you always sick? Why do you limp? Why does the teacher have to help you walk up stairs?”

And then, finally, when I was five or six and sent home again because of having a fever, one of the children concluded loudly, “Is she more often sick than us because she’s weaker than us?”

Somehow, that scared me. I was too young to understand why I was so different than other children, but I understood that I was. And the thought of being weak, being a burden to others because of that, really scared the hell out of me.

It’s no wonder I was crying when I arrived home – my parents were still at work, and I would have to ask my big brother to tell them I was sick yet again. And still I was so, so scared that I’m weak and a burden.

My brother almost dropped his plate of food when he saw me limping into the room, crying loudly and with cheeks red of fever. “Little sis! What happened?!”

“I’m sick again!” I managed somehow, hiccupping like crazy. Everything hurt, which made me cry even harder.

“Hey, hey, shhhh, it’s okay, everything is okay,” lifting me up, my brother placed me on the couch, tucked me in and went to get everything. By now, it was almost routine between us – lots of water to drink, a cold wet cloth against my fevered skin, and some movies to watch so I wouldn’t get bored.

But even then, I couldn’t stop crying.

“Does it hurt so much?” My brother was at a complete loss, dabbing my face with the wet cloth. “Should we go see the doctor?”

“N-No!” I cried even harder – now I had to go see the doctor again? That made me even weaker, right? “I d-don’t wanna be weak!”

The dabbing stopped, and my brother lifted me up gently, tugging me into his lap. He was frowning as he cradled my face in both hands and asked softly, “Baby girl, who said you’re weak?”

“I’m s-sick so often because I’m too weak, right? The others said so…”

“Well, the others are fucking stupid, then.”

That shut me up pretty quickly and I sniffled with wide eyes. We had been taught not to swear, and that was the first time my brother had ever looked angry.

“Now listen here,” my brother adjusted me so that he could hold me with one arm, the other hand taking up the cloth again to press it against my heated forehead. “You’re the opposite of weak, okay? You’re a fighter. In fact, baby girl – you’re fighting right now.”

“I… I am?”

“Sure you are! Did nobody ever tell you?” Looking around, my brother waved me closer, whispering quietly as if it was a secret “Being sick is actually being in a fight, you know?”

Really?” I was transfixed by that, but I would never have doubted my big brother. I had spent a long, long time believing that everything he said was true.

“It is! You know, the illness? That’s actually a tiny, tiny little army of viruses that’s attacking you. They’re so tiny, you can’t even see them!” He showed me how tiny by pressing forefinger and thump together, nodding all the while. “And you and your body, you have to fight this tiny army. And that’s why everything hurts so much – because you’re taking hits while fighting. But you fight back, and you win, and then you get better. Every time. You see, little sis, you’re like, a knight! A brave knight fighting many armies. The others? They’re not that strong. They couldn’t fight so many armies and still win. So don’t listen to them, alright?”

“Alright,” I agreed solemnly, eyes falling closed as sleep creeped up on me.

“That’s my brave girl. And now, the little knight goes to sleep, so that she can fight with new strength later.”

It was the last time that I thought of myself as weak for being sick so often. From then on, every time I felt bad – be it because of an average illness or depression – I thought of the whole thing as a battle that I have to fight and win.

The whole thing is not even that silly. Think about it – especially those who are somehow fighting their own battles right now. You’re fighting, now or then or in the future. Even though you’re probably feeling terrible, you don’t give up, but keep on going, keep on fighting back whatever makes you feel horrible. How is that supposed to be weak? That’s the opposite of weak! It takes strength and courage to fight. You’re not weak, everyone – you’re super strong and brave, and amazing in general.

Don’t let anybody tell you you’re weak when in reality, you’re a fighter.

you on my mind again

I walked home from work tonight. Thought of you. Every dog was barking, all having a conversation I was not invited to, probably because if I was I would only talk about you, and they’re sick of it.

My sister hates you, and when I say hate I mean she would kill you given the opportunity. She’s not alone you say when I tell you this, and I say it’s the one thing her and I have in common, and you laugh, and I stare. I can’t say what you being happy does to me. I feel the sun within me like I swallowed it, all of me warm.

Lily here’s the thing: we need a better apartment! you call from the shower, which occasionally turns off for no reason and won’t go on again until the toilet is flushed. James, here’s the thing: we need more money! I call back. Being poor is a lot more romantic in the films. In reality it is having an oven that takes thirty minutes to turn off and curling into one another during winter, fingers purple.

I don’t mind being poor with you. And when I say I don’t mind I mean I obviously mind but not as much when you are with me. I don’t mind a lot of things when you are with me: flat tire, missed flight, my mother only speaking to me when my father is asleep.

That time we had no electricity that week because we had to pay our rates. Us, in the dark, holding candles you stole from Remus, playing cards for hours but only Go Fish because it was the only game you knew. After work when you got home at three and we ate crackers and made up episodes of Friends to entertain ourselves. Joey and Chandler run away to Atlantis. Phoebe transforms into an armadillo and desperately tries to gain admission into a zoo. Rachel gets arrested for stalking Queen Elizabeth. Ross dies in a house fire. They all forget to go to his funeral. And us: rolling on the floor, our laughter the only thing.

There are still things I dislike about you. You won’t take buses because you think they’re dirty. When we fight and you laugh at me. Leaving all the kitchen cabinets open so I bump into them. That I tell you about why my father hates me but you won’t tell me why yours does.

(I think it’s because of me. I often forget that you should be a lawyer right now, instead of in an apartment with me and an oven that takes thirty minutes to turn off.)

Often we talk about what our lives will be like later. When we have money. When we have time. You will buy a giant couch so Sirius will stop bitching about how uncomfortable the floor is when he’s over. I want to get a cat and name it ‘milk’ or ‘bumblebee’ or some other ridiculous thing, and when I say this you stare and then kiss me senseless. I cannot believe you love me you say. All my breath deserts me. I cannot believe I wouldn’t.

You work late nights, and I work afternoons, so in the morning we eat cereal out of the box and sit in bed, talking about what kind of dogs we’d be. I’m a beagle. You want to be a German Shepherd but in reality you’re Scottish Terrier because you’re still a bit posh and also wear glasses. Scottish Terriers don’t wear glasses you say. Yes, but they look like they should I respond. You consider this, and then nod. You’re right you agree. I take a handful of cornflakes and am so fucking glad that you’re here.

I use your toothbrush sometimes when its dark and I can’t find mine, and this is something I will never tell you, primarily because you’d freak out about it. Another thing I can never say: you always buy too much popcorn at the movies for two people to eat. I also can’t say the entire reason I still have the purple sneakers from five years ago that no longer fit me is because they were the shoes I was wearing when you told me you first told me you loved me, and I did not look beautiful, so I knew you meant it.

In truth I could spend an infinite amount of hours talking about you, and the things we do when we’re alone

(including but not limited to: playing scrabble, trying to recreate that lift from Dirty Dancing, reading books without saying anything, arguing about how long the commercial is and whether it’s worth switching the channel, you kissing my neck, bumping into one another half asleep in the kitchen, arguing about who’s turn it is to do the dishes, laughing about our neighbours and how loud their sex is, discussing whether our sex is louder than the neighbours, trying to make our sex louder than the neighbours, burning our bills once we’ve paid them, getting drunk off cheap tequila and having a dance off, lying in bed carding my hands through your hair, having a staring contest over lunch, kissing each other on the mouth, kissing each other in other places.)

But I won’t. because other people (and dogs) find it boring when you talk about another person to much. I don’t mind. I have you. They don’t. I can’t imagine how awful that is.

 One thing I hate about being chronically ill is that I have problems judging whether other illnesses are the Right Kind™ of sick to go to the hospital or if I’m just being over-dramatic.

bonnie & clyde

mobster! dean au pt 1

 →word count: 3.9k

 →warnings: smut; references to sexual abuse;

 →a/n: i know dean isn’t exactly a kpop idol, but i really love him and his music, he is one of my favourite artists at the moment. me and my friend were both loving the idea of gangsta! dean or mobster! dean and it got my creative juices flowing (soz that’s kinda gross).

pt2 here

Originally posted by iaxifin

“oi, baby, get you’re hot ass over here,” dom calls over to you, “my lap’s feelin’ a little lonely.”

you sighed to yourself and made your way over to him, his harsh hands cuffing onto your waist, like you’d dare escaping such a man.

“my boys were saying how you were having a little chat with the delivery guy yesterday.”

his grip immediately tightened painfully as you look at his lackeys all hanging their heads sheepishly. you got along well with his guys, so the fact that they got you into trouble like this made you feel betrayed.

“baby,” you put on a fake voice to cover up your fear, “it was nothing like that, he was just being polite.”

he gave you a twisted smile, “well maybe he should know next time to stay away from what’s not his.”

his hand clutches onto your wrist instead and he drags you off of his lap and down the corridor to his room. you knew what this meant.

“i’m gonna make sure that everyone in this whole building knows who you belong to.”

dom’s party had just kicked off downstairs in the club, the bass of the music coming up from under your feet.

after what happened earlier with dom and you, you’d rather die than sit on his lap all night like his little pet.

it was a few years ago when you became dom’s ‘pet’ after you courageously stepped in for your ex boyfriend and told dom to take you instead of him. but the minute your ex got out, he had moved on immediately. it was a foolish idea, to think that your boyfriend would save you. but you were so young and naive then. so you were stuck as dom’s and there was no escape. you were trapped and labelled as “his” forever.

you look over to you’re shared bed with dom and see a note with a box laying there.

because you should always look like a princess.

d x

in the box laid a silk dusty rose cami style dress. as beautiful as it was, you didn’t want it. it was just a way to try and win your affection, but there was no real love or kindness intended by it.

but you wore it anyway because if you didn’t, there’d be a repeat of earlier’s events.

in the elastic of your stockings, you slipped your pistol in case things tonight got ugly with any unwanted guests. dom may have been a nasty piece of work, but he would never leave you vulnerable.

your put on a pair of daps with it and a fur coat over the top, you knew it would please dom if you looked “classy”. a knock at the door interrupted your thoughts and dom walked in his signature suit.

“wow baby,” he looked you up and down perversely, “you look fucking hot.”

you tried not to scoff at his words, so instead just kept your face emotionless, looking down at your daps. he grabbed your hips and pulls you out the door with him, down towards the party.

the music was getting louder and louder as you walked down the corridor. the entrance to the club was taunting freedom. as dom opened the door to the club, the guests all roared with whistles and hollers at the big man himself making his big entrance.

“ladies n gents,” he puts on a triumphant smile, “welcome!”

he walked over to where he sat for every event, his guys following closey behind, and pushed you down onto his thigh, your chair for the night.

as the night dragged on, people came over to dom, giving him a firm handshake. of course, everyone knew it was better to be pals with dom, then to make him your enemy. or you we’re fucked. last time someone came to his club looking for a fight, he got one. but it didn’t look so pretty for him afterwards.

but by 11:30, a dark face came to pay dom a visit.

“dom, how’s it been?”

it was the first time you’d ever seen dom looked shocked. his lips parted slightly as his eyes stayed frozen on the figure before the two of you. his face paled in the poorly lit club.

“uh johnny, long time no see, what are you doing at my place?” dom put emphasis on my place, trying to act like he had the upper hand here. the man seemed unphased by dom’s attempt at intimidation. by this point you’d managed to figure out that this johnny guy was not a pleasant surprise for dom.

“baby, why don’t you go have a little dance or something? i’ll catch up with you in a bit, eh?” he gave your butt a quick tap and scooted you away to the dancefloor. this was the first time dom let you out by yourself, and the thought excited you. but clearly something bad was about to happen.

you moved through all the people convulsing to the heavy-bassed music, caught up in the hot, rousing atmosphere. everyone dancing seemed to look so good, so alive on the dance floor. you found yourself joining in, swinging your hips to the beat, your eyes closed and your lips parted as you let yourself go for the first time in years. the dancer’s bodies were so close to yours, this was the most human contact you’d had with anyone except dom in so long.

it was your free spirit that caught his eye tonight. from a corner booth he was sharing with a couple of buddies, his eyes clearly settled on you. he was fascinated by how your hair swung as your head swayed with your hips, how each slight jump you did made your jacket raise, along with your dress, showing your smooth thighs and your hidden weapon. he noticed how you had a small smile on your lips, like this night was the best of your life. he noticed how your soft face looked completely out of place amongst all the mobsters.

you felt the need for a drink after so much dancing, so you made your way over to the bar. he seized this opportunity to go over and talk to you.

“one cranberry juice and vodka please,” you called out to the bartender.

“make that two,” a voice called from the other side.

your turned your head to the voice, and you were dumbstruck at the view facing you.

a lean figure in a pinstripe suit and creepers looks down on you, his hair quiffed up, but his fringe flicking round on his forehead. his hands were in his pockets, and he leaned against the bar with a poised gesture. he had a modest confidence about him, like he wasn’t confident in himself, but he was confident in life in general. like nothing could stop him. his style was slick, and it was enticing.

“i saw you dancing out there,” he pointed to the dancefloor, “i don’t think i’ve ever seen someone dance like that before.”

your brow creased in confusion, you weren’t sure if you should be offended or not.

“umm thanks?”

“i mean you looked really good out there, you were quite mesmerizing”

you smiled bashfully at his words instead now, “oh, thank you.”

he flashed his teeth at you in an honest smile, eyes creasing at the sides.

“so uh.. you know dom?” he looked at you sheepishly. you gulped at his inquiry, scared at how he might act. you were so close to finally being free, but you still couldn’t escape it.

“i-uh- i work for him,” you look down at your feet.

“work? if that’s what you call it..” he trailed off.

you started getting angry now, what right does he have to judge you? did he think this was something you wanted?

“you think i like the way he touches me? you think i enjoy being treated like someone’s play thing?”

“no no wait that’s not what i meant, look i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to upset you. i just don’t think it’s right for him to get away with treating you how he does. you should never get touched so… cruelly. it makes me sick seeing the way he manhandles you.”

“you really think that? most guys just get jealous that he gets to have  such an obedient little slut.”

you choked on your own words a little, but covered it up with a swig of your drink.

“i think you’re far from a ‘little slut’. you seem so much more than that.”

you were shocked. he barely knew you, yet he was disgusted by your treatment. and he saw you as more than an object. for once, you were human in someone’s eyes. your heart warmed at the thought.

“look, let’s not talk about dom,” you avert his attention instead, “why don’t we dance uh..?”

“dean, my name’s dean. and you are?”

you smiled slightly at his fitting name, “i’m y/n.”

you slipped your fur coat off and left it on the barstool, his eyes glancing over your bare arms and shoulders, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. you looked almost angelic in such a harsh environment, you’re subtle innocence becoming more obvious as time passed.

you grabbed onto his rough, callus hands and dragged him onto the dancefloor, and letting him guide your body instead. his hands stayed on your waist politely, but as the two of you got closer and closer to one another, they settled on your hips, one travelling up to your hair affectionately. as you danced, he stayed gentle with you, never getting grabby or inappropriate, but staying tender with his actions. it was refreshing to be treated with care for once, you craved it, you craved warmth and loving devotion.

quickly, the two of you got too caught up in each other to notice the number of dom’s men in the area.

“dean, we need to go.”

“what do you mean go?” he mumbled into your ear.

“i mean we need to leave right now,” your heart beat quickened as you worried about what could happen to dean if you got caught.

but he caught on and wasted no time leading you by your hand to the exit. as scared as you were of getting caught, your were excited at the thought of having freedom.

“y/n? we should run.”

“why?”

“because they are.”

dean pulled you through the manic crowds, down the dimly lit hallway to the exit.

“dean look out!”

in front of you were too of dom’s men, taking up the whole corridor with their large builds. you lead the way and pulled him down a nearly black hallway, with people lingering the whole way though it.

“i’ve got an idea,” dean whispers. they were getting closer.

“what is it?”

“just go along with it, okay?”

before you even had the opportunity to respond, his lips landed on yours. his arms locked on either side of the wall, blocking you in and hiding you. his lips continued kissing you as you still tried to get over the shock of somebody else being so intimate with you. it felt better than you’d imagined kissing someone else, so much more caring and light compared to dom’s painful, hard kisses that bruised your lips.

the two of dom’s men went straight past you, barely even noticing your attempt at blending in.

dean’s lips slowly detached from yours, his head resting against yours still, one arm sweeping hair off your face.

“sorry if that stepped over any lines, i thought it would help disguise us,” he whispered.

“it’s okay, it worked anyway. they’re gone now.”

“if they’re gone then why are we still whispering?”

you chuckle at his light-hearted humour, grabbing both of his hands and intertwining them with your comparably small ones.

“do you wanna come stay at my place tonight? you’ll have a bed and food and someone there to keep you safe from the baddies,” he joked.

“oh and who would that be?” you playfully replied.

“the guy who just saved your cute ass.”

“touche.”

the paced walk to his apartment was filled with trivial conversation, the two of you just enjoying the peaceful aftermath of the club.

finally you arrived outside of his flat. dean lived in a big city apartment on the top story with 5 other guys, all tall, muscly, tattooed. it was obvious that they were the gangsta sort too. they all dressed smart and in their jacket’s lining pocket you could make out the shape of pistols.

but you were used to these kinds of men, and they didn’t scare you one bit.

“fellas,” dean announces, “this is y/n, shes dom’s girl.”

they all looked at him with shock.

“what, and dom just gave her to you?” the first one spoke up, “if he find’s her here, you’re dead, we’re all dead.”

“we’ll be fine, vin, i’m gonna make sure nothing happens to her.”

you looked up at him, but he only sternly looked vin in the eye.

“if you can promise that none of us get our asses kicked, then she’s more than welcome to stay.”

dean showed you to his room, and let you in. the room was more open than you’d imagined, the whole of one wall was a window overlooking the lit up city. his bed was up against the glass, low to the ground and unmade with a laptop lying on it. but it still looked inviting. in the corner was a laundry pile, blood stained t-shirts lying on top. he had a record player in the corner and stacks of vinyl, and a wardrobe. but that was it. no more possessions and no more furniture.

“it’s very..” you tried to find the right words.

“empty? i’m aware,” he looked out the window.

“i was gonna say simple but yeah, that works too. but i like it, it feels.. right.”

“right?”

“yeah, like, i feel comfortable in here, which is surprising for me,”

you slipped his jacket he’d given you earlier off and dropped it onto the floor.

you stood there lit up by the city and moon’s lights in nothing but a small dress, and he swore to himself he had never seen anything more beautiful before in his life.

“y/n, i,” dean didn’t know how to get out the right words, “i don’t want you to think that i expect you to, ya know, do stuff.”

“i know,” you replied softly, “thank you for everything. you didn’t have to give up so much just to save someone like me.”

“someone like you? y/n, you deserve so much more than what i can give you, but for now this is all i have.”

you lean up and leave a small kiss on the tip of his nose. his eyes shut and he leans his head into the crook of your neck.

“nothing whatsoever is gonna happen to you, no one else is gonna lay a hand on you with out your consent. and i’m gonna make sure of it.”

dean may have been a face from only a few hours ago, but nothing about him was going to cause you harm. he made you feel safe for the first time in so long.

fatigue hit you as you exhaled, sinking into dean’s stature. his arms snuck around your waist and he lifted you up and carried you over to his bed, your legs wrapping around his waist.

he softly placed you down, pulling the covers over you. he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, showing you his toned, slightly scarred upper body, along with his trousers, and changed into a pair of sweatpants.

“you have tattoos?” you question, grabbing his wrist and pulling him down to you. he crouches at the side of the bed next to your head.

“i have a few,” he turns round shows the back of his neck,

r e b e l

and then along the side of his neck and down his left bicep was a plum tree with inky branches spiralling off the side, blossoms coming around the sides.

“they’re amazing.”

your hands trace along his shoulder and down the side of his bicep, moving down to grip his waist. you’re exhaustion had somewhat disappeared and was replaced with a desperate, desire to have more of dean. but this time, you didn’t want to please because you had to, but because you wanted to. you were free to make whatever decision you wanted to make, and your decision was to have dean.

much to his surprise, you pulled him onto you on the bed and covered his lips with hungry kisses, his hands gripping your hips in shock. but he reacted quickly and picked up your hands from his bare waist and pinned them above your head. if dom had done that, you would have been disgusted, but when dean held your wrists so delicately, it felt blissful.

wrapping your legs around his naked torso, you kissed down his jaw along to his neck and ear. playfully, you nipped and tugged at his earlobe, his groans filling the air and your head.

“i wanna see more of you,” he started to slide the strap to your cami down your shoulder, leaving tender kisses along your burning skin as he went.

underneath your dress was nothing except panties and your stocking-hidden pistol. he slipped it off of the top half of your body, your breasts completely on display to him. he swallowed audibly and licked his lips slightly at you. but he only saw you as beautiful. not “hot”. or “sexy”. just beautiful.

his hands softly cupped around both your breasts, kneading them slightly. you let a moan past your lips, but he shushed you and motioned to the door, meaning he didn’t want the guys to hear them.

you gulped and nodded, and he continued to rub your breasts, his lips coming down on one and grazing your nipple. you gasp at the feel of his cool breath on your hot skin. nobody had ever touched your body with so much delicacy before in your life and you were basking in it.

his hands slipped the dress the whole way down you body, all that remaining were the matching pink panties and stockings, which he took the pistol out of and placed at the side of his bed. his fingers dusted over the lace of your underwear, fingers hooking round and pulling down, and off.

he grabbed your thighs and pushed them up against your torso, giving him a clear view of your aroused, glistening heat. he exhaled loudly at the magnificent sight before him. you looked so stunning like that, completely content yet so flustered by his small movements on your thighs.

his fingers finally made there way to your damp core, and he wasted no time in giving your clit a firm press and rub from his thumb. you released a suppressed moan at his actions, your hands gripping the bed sheets with such force, your knuckle turned white. his thumb was suddenly removed and replaced with his wet tongue. he licked from the base up to the top of your clit, making you’re already damp core wetter.

“dean, more,” you whimper, “i need more.”

he instantly pushed a finger inside you at your request, slowly pumping at first. normally, you would have an felt uncomfortable stinging every time dom fingered you. but dean took care of you properly, making you feel like you were in ecstasy.

with each pump you grunted with a slight whimper, your breathes becoming shallower and unstable. dean took out his finger and left you feeling empty, as he pulled down his sweatpants and boxers together. he sat back on his heels and kneeled down on the bed, grabbing you by the hips and sitting you on his lap.

“are you ready?” he whispered, “we can wait if you want.”

“no,” you wanted this, “please go on.”

he took no time at all as he lifted your hips and settled them on top of his length, his width taking you by surprise. you arched your back against his chest, your breasts pushing against him flushed.

“dean keep going,” you breathed.

he started to push into slowly, starting a rhythm and a pace for the two of you. you rolled your hips onto him, eliciting a hiss from dean’s bitten lips.

the two of you had no struggle reaching your climaxes easily, both so desperate to make the other come undone. you were finally going to experience your first orgasm. no matter how many times dom had fucked you, you never got any enjoyment out of it. and your ex before that always came before you. so you were stuck in a cycle of almosts.

dean sucked along your neck and left dark marks all across the smooth expanse of skin and his thrusts became hard and rough, the sound of your skin hitting his.

“dean i’m gonna,” you yelped in surprise of the feeling that had exploded in your lower body. dean made one lay thrust and came with you, his breathes loud in your ear.

the two of you clutched each other as you caught your breath, all of your body touching the others. the city and star light lit up your glistening bodies, the glow off your incandescent skin.

“how was that?” dean mumbles into your neck, your hair muffling his words.

“it was..” you didn’t know how to describe how incredible that felt. you were overwhelmed with intense feelings, “amazing.”

he smiled at your eyes twinkling in the city light. dean got up to grab you a clean shirt to sleep in for the night, and some underwear for himself. you pulled the cosy shirt over your head, sighing contently as you looked over the city view.

he climbed in next to you and wrapped his sturdy arms around your waist, snuggling into your neck and back tightly. you giggled at his cuteness, surprised to see such a light hearted side to a mobster.

dean was unlike any other, he had a heart of gold that had been stolen and exploited. and your heart aches for him, and how misunderstood he must be.

“how did you get into this job then?” you were beating around the bush a little, you knew mobsters didn’t like their label. you turned around and rested your head in the crook of his shoulder.

“i was born into it, my dad used to be the head of our mob. but during a debt collection, he was surprise attacked and shot in the head. so i started working for them too, hoping to find my dad’s killer. i started off on routine deals and then started getting better with a gun and my fists. the new mob leader liked my dedication to the cause and so he started taking me out on collections like my dad did. i’ve been doing it ever since. but i’ve never killed. i mean i’ve fucked up a few faces here and there, but that’s it. i can’t put others through what i went through myself.”

you stayed silent and placed a kiss on his bare chest, showing your comfort in your actions. you wanted to show him how much you cared, so you snuggled even further into his side.

who knows what you were gonna do now. dean was a face from a few hours ago and he had already seen so much of you. he was your hero, whether or not he’d done his fair share of damage in the past. he may not see himself as a good guy, but you saw him as the best.

Pop-Tarts - Andrews!Reader X Jughead

[A/N: Okay so you can blame @kingpendleton for this one, I just wanted to write a bit of a tropey piece and this is what I came up with. It’s a little rough because it was only supposed to be a short number but I ended up with 2300 words.]

Word Count: 2300

Originally posted by alwayschach-sprouseblog

‘Do you ever, I don’t know, hang out at your own house?’ You asked as you flopped down onto the occupied sofa.

Jughead Jones lay slouched next to you with his feet firmly placed on your small coffee table; he was surrounded by multiple bags of chips and sweet treats, and a gluttonous sized cup of soda.

‘And why would I ever want to do that when I can enjoy such fantastic company, like yourself, right here in the Andrews home?’ He flashed you the most sarcastic face he could muster, behind his eyes however there lay genuine humour.

You playfully kicked his feet from your coffee table with a gentle shove and replaced them with your own, he huffed in annoyance.

Keep reading

MASTER LIST

MINSEOK

Crushing On My Manager (Fluff): When EXO gets a new female manager and Xiumin develops a crush: [Part 1] [Part 2]

Missed Calls (Angst): When you’re scared of walking home alone and he doesn’t answer his phone: [x]

JUNMYEON

Coming Down With Something (Fluff): When he stays home to take care of a sick you: [x]

Shopping (Fluff): Going food shopping with Junmyeon: [x]

YIXING

Cool Move (Fluff): When Yixing tries to show off to his wife and son but things end up being bad for him: [x]

Tease Me (Smut): Daddy Yixing can get you so worked up sometimes: [x]

BAEKHYUN

Clean It Up (Angst): When a spill sets off an argument: [x]

Song For You (Angst/Fluff): Getting into a fight with Baekhyun and he does something special to apologize: [x]

Feel Better (Smut): Having an argument with Chanyeol and going to Baekhyun’s place to cool off: [x]

Not Bad of A Choice (Angst/Fluff/Smut): An arranged marriage with Baekhyun, who didn’t want it just as much as you did: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Final]

Saving Water (Smut): Fluffy shower smut with Baekhyun: [x]

JONGDAE

Hot Damn (Smut): When Chen gets turned on while watching you clean: [x]

You’re My Boyfriend Now (Fluff): Meeting Jongdae at a University campus: [x]

Private Daddy (Smut): Jongdae is low-key daddy: [x]

CHANYEOL

Bully (Angst): When he’s your bully: [Part 1][Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Our Little Princess (Fluff): When he finds out you’re giving birth during his concert: [x]

I’m Not Looking (Smut): He lies to see you shower: [x]

I’m Sorry (Angst): When he forgets your anniversary and an argument breaks out: [x]

Too Close to Her (Angst): When you’re jealous of him being close with Moon Gayoung: [x]

He’s Rude (Angst): When you’re partnered up so he can help you as a trainee: [x]

Didn’t Make It (Angst): When you go through a miscarriage: [x]

You’re His, What? (Fluff): When Chanyeol introduced his girlfriend to the members, not knowing one of them is your brother: [x]

Jealous (Angst/Fluff): When you’re Suho’s best friend and Chanyeol gets jealous because you two are close: [x]

Your Dare (Fluff): When you’re dating and you do a dare with another member and he gets jealous: [x]

Jungle Buddies (Fluff): When you two are on the same team on Law of the Jungle: [x]

Come Over (Smut): When wanting to surprise him turns into him surprising you: [x]

Chills (Fluff): Autumn walks and hot chocolate with Chanyeol: [x]

Save Her (Pathcode AU): Chanyeol saving you from the bad guys that froze you: [x]

Was He Better Than Me? (Smut): When you gotta kiss Sehun for a drama and Chanyeol gets angry: [x]

More Than That (Smut): When you think he’ll kick you out after being a one night stand but he begs to differ: [x]

Punishment (Smut): Daddy Chanyeol. Enough said: [x]

Seeing Green (Angst): Chanyeol getting jealous of the texts that you’ve been receiving: [x]

Against the Desk (Smut): Daddy Chanyeol scenario #2. Lots of oral: [x]

Different Light (Angst/Fluff): When you develop feelings for your childhood friend, Chanyeol, but he has different feelings: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Final]

KYUNGSOO

Make Him Mad (Fluff/Smut): When teasing him ends up with sex: [Part 1] [Part 2]

Explain To Me (Fluff): When he asks you to explain to him what everyday objects are in English: [x]

Best Of Winter (Fluff): Winter with Kyungsoo: [x]

First (Smut): Kyungsoo giving you your first oral: [x]

Strike Three (Smut): Daddy Kyungsoo, need I go on?: [x]

Through the Screen (Fluff): Kyungsoo proposing onstage: [x]

Match (Angst/Fluff): Kyungsoo says some crucial things to you: [x]

Little Do You Know (Angst/Fluff): Song-fic based on the song Little Do You Know by Alex and Sierra: [x]

Surprise! (Fluff): Kyungsoo surprising you at your college: [x]

JONGIN

What’s Her Name? (Fluff): Trying to figure a name for your baby: [x]

Cookies n’ Cream (Fluff): When you’re pregnant and get attacked by sasaengs while out shopping: [x]

Popsicle (Smut): When you unknowingly provoke him with a popsicle: [x]

Protect You (Pathcode AU): When he risks his life to save you: [x]

That’s My Shirt (Smut): When he catches you dancing in one of his shirts: [x]

Not Good Enough (Angst/Fluff): When you’re insecure of him hanging out with idols: [x]

Ache (Angst): Kai getting too into the fame and his work that you feel neglected, an argument breaks out: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Final]

SEHUN

Co-Workers (Angst): When you two work together and he’s a jerk: [x]

She Cheated (Angst): When you’re acting cold to him and he finds out you’re cheating on him: [x]

Mister Cold Guy (Angst/Fluff): When he, the school’s heartthrob, is cold to you: [x]

Maknae’s Argument (Angst): When he gets into an argument with you: [x]

Body Weight (Angst/Fluff): When he comments on you stomach: [x]

You Can’t (Fluff): Watching a movie with a shirtless scene with Sehun: [x]

She’s Skilled (Fluff): Sehun falling for you during your SMTown performance: [x]

–REACTIONS–

[x] When you’re sassy as Sehun

[x] When someone walks in on you and another member doing the do ;)

[x] When their small girlfriend attempts to be the big spoon

[x] EXO in the Hunger Games

[x] When they find out one of the members bully you

[x] When you fall asleep on the couch waiting for them

[x] When you tell them they give you butterflies

[x] When you come from the closet saying you’re back from Narnia

[x] EXO embarrassing you when they pick you up from school

[x] When they meet you vs. when you’re comfortable around them

[x] When you fall asleep while talking to them

[x] When their child runs out on stage during a performance

[x] When you’re nibbling silently on a chocolate bar

[x] Seeing your new lingerie sat ;)

[x] Seeing you flinch because of bad past experience

[x] Flirting with you and them finding out that you’re a BTS member’s girlfriend

[x] Finding you wrapped up like a burrito watching Stranger Things

[x] You surprise them at their concert after not seeing each other in a long time

[x] You cancelling a date because of horrible cramps.

[x] You not wanting to cuddle after a shitty day

[x] Watching you do your make up

[x] Seeing your sick dance moves

[x] You cooking your home country food for them

[x] You being a teacher

[x] Your curvy body

[x] You teasing them in public

[x] Their little cousin telling saying they’ll marry you

[x] You roasting one of the members

[x] Their little kid protecting you during an argument

[x] You calling them to declare your love

——————————–

College rejections may be for your own good

“I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog’s. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: ‘Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt.’”
- Blythe Baird