being judged and told how to do things

Circus


For Keith lunch was over far too soon.
The food was delicious as always and he enjoyed the relaxed chatter that came from Allura.
If Keith had to be honest when he first joined he had been pretty scared of the tall woman. But after talking to her he found though she was scarily stubborn and driven, but she was also sweet and funny. Keith wished he could have feelings for her. That he could be attracted to the beautiful and amazing woman rather then being unable to tear his eyes away from Lance as he laughed.
Being unbelievably jealous of Hunk who had Lance cuddling into his chest as he sat in his lap.
Keith kept telling himself that gay was illegal and that even if Lance was a woman he was too young for him.
Keith couldn’t infect a child with his sickness.
Pining aside it was a loverly time.
The sun was shining and the company was pleasant.
Soon as Allura stood up and said it was time to leave Keith couldn’t help but feel disappointed.
The fact that his butt was still sore from the ride really didn’t help.

“Look out!”
Keith whipped his head round from where he was preparing Red when he saw Goldie free from her reigns and running directly towards Lance who didn’t seem to realise he was about to be trampled.
Keith’s brain shut down and he went into autopilot as he pulled the knife from his belts holder and threw it at the ropes holding the barrels on the back of Blacks cart.
The knife hit its mark, snapping the rope and causing the barrels to go rolling off directly into Goldies path.
She bolted away finally coming to a stop a little away by the trees.
Lance had jumped back away from the barrels his eyes wide and his chest rapidly raising and falling.
For a moment no one moved. They all just stared in amazement and silent horror.
Then Hunk ran towards Lance.
“Are you ok?” He asked as he helped his best friend to his feet.
That seemed to break everyone out of their trance and like a stampede they all moved as one.
Some broke away to gather the barrels, some to get Goldie.
It was Shiro, Pidge, Allura, Coran and Keith that ran to Hunk and Lance.
“Lance! Are you alright?” Allura asked.
Lance didn’t speak he merely nodded.
“My boy are you sure?” Coran asked in concern. As the circus doctor Coran knew that it’s when they get quiet it’s when they should worry.
Again Lance nodded.
It was then that Keith realised he was staring right at him.
Keith dropped his gaze to the ground, Great he had just traumatised the guy.
“That shot was amazing.”
“What shot?” Hunk asked, he had yet to remove his arms from around Lance as though he could protect him from all harm just by the power of his hugs.
“Keith’s, he threw the knife.” Lance pointed at where the knife was still lodged in the cart.
Realisation crossed their faces.
“Keith… did you really throw this knife?” Shiro asked as he pulled the knife out.
Keith nodded finding being the centre of attention was not all it was made out to be.
Shiro exchanged a look with Allura and Keith was sure this was it.
This was when he was going to be told to hit the road alone.
“Keith.” He flinched as he watched a large smile spread across Allura’s face “guess we found your act!”
“Wait what?”
“I’ve never seen anyone throw so well! Not even Lance!” Hunk grinned.
“Hey!” Lance pouted but was grinning too. “Seriously though, you sure are good with knives! In fact we should do an act together!”
Keith felt all the blood drain from his face “t-together?”
Lance nodded enthusiastically “yeah I’ve had this idea for years but no one to do it with.”
Lance grabbed Keith hands “will you do it with me?”
“God yes… I mean yeah sure I guess I can.”
Lance suddenly wrapped his arms around him and Keith was sure his brain shut down with his last thought being about how good Lance smelt.

————————
“Ok just throw it at the targets!” Lance yelled.
“I know!” Keith snapped.
Soon as they had arrived and set up everyone had launched themselves into practising to prepare for the show that night.
Lance had pulled Keith away to throw knives at a long and tall wooden board that when up fully almost reached the top of the tent.
Across it in a long diagonal line we’re little red x’s designed to be targets for the knives.
Lance had explained that the idea of the trick was that Keith would throw the knives to create a stair case that Lance would run up before he jumped from the last one onto the trapeze swing to be caught by Allura.
However after nearly three hours Keith found himself exhausted and harder and harder to actually hit the targets.
Thankfully Lance was working on his silk act close to the ground rarther then actually try and run up the badly formed stair case and risk getting stabbed.
“Hey no need to get snippy.” Lance hugged as he held himself up purely by the strength of his legs.
“I know… i know… look I’m sorry it’s just. It’s frustraighting ok? This is all so new to me and I hate that I can’t do it!” Keith sighed as he pulled at his hair.
Lance chuckled “well yeah, what did you expect ? To be perfect at your first go? Putting an act together is hard back breaking work. When I first started I fell on my ass more times then I can count.”
Keith smiled as he examined the knife he was holding “I know…”
“You sure do say that a lot.” Lance teased as he flipped off the silk landing perfectly and putting his hands on his hips.
“Shut up.”
“No I sharnt” Lance gently poked him in the ribs.
Seeing how Keith jumped and the look of terror a Cheshire Cat like grin spread across his face.
“Oh, someone’s tickelish!”
“Lance no!”
“Lance yes!”
Lance began tickling him mercilessly Keith falling back to the floor with the younger boy falling on top of him.
They rolled around for a moment before Keith ended up on top looking down at the laughing Lance.
They lay there for a moment breathing heavily.
Slowly Lance stopped laughing as he looked up at Keith.
He brushed his hand along his cheek and before Keith could stop himself he was leaning down gently pressing his lips against Lance’s.
His lips tastes salty but were surprisingly soft.
Keith vaguely registered that Lance was running his fingers through his black hair causing shivers to run down his spine.
He wanted this.
Oh God how he wanted this.
17.
Oh God What was he doing.
Keith suddenly pushed Lance away jumping to his feet.
“What’s wrong?” Lance asked.
“T-this isn’t right… this is illegal…”
Lance snorted “so what?”
“It’s wrong and disgusting!”
Lance rose an eyebrow “you didn’t seem all that disgusted.” He nodded towards Keith’s crouch and he quickly covered his ‘situation’ with his hands.
“W-well I’m not some boy whore for your fun! I’m not a disgusting prostitute with no self respect willing to throw himself at you!”
A dark look spread across Lance’s face as he stood up and wiped his lips on his sleeve.
“Fine if that’s how you feel. But you should know, prostitutes don’t always have a choice, sometimes it’s that or death. So maybe quit acting so high and mighty and stop pretending to be something your not.” Lance turned to leave the tent “I need to get ready for the show.”
Keith wanted to yell at him.
Ask him who he was to judge him or say that about prostitutes, that how the hell would he know.
Then he remembered…
If Pidge had come from the asylum, Hunk the gutter…
Did that mean Lance had come from a brothel?
Guilt stabbed at his gut.
He had messed up big time.
Keith promised he would make it right.
He told himself it was because it was the right thing to do and not only because soon as he had pulled his lips away that it felt like he was missing something.
He longed for Lance…
If Lance made him feel this way then maybe… just maybe being gay wasn’t all that bad?

Okay so I’ve been reading the comments lately on my Instagram and Twitter.. A lot of you are fighting about the whole mom/queen thing. So I should probably explain how I feel about it. I do not want to be looked at as your queen. I do not want to be put on a pedestal. I am not your mother. BUT I am here to be your friend. I write music to express myself because otherwise I would go crazy. I’m not a perfect human being, and we are never going to agree on every little thing. But I want to be able to open up to you guys without feeling like I’ll be judged/bullied. When I was honest and told you guys I smoke weed some of you wrote things like “I wish I knew that before I bought her album” it blew my mind because it should just be about the music. It shouldn’t be about me being the perfect little role model for you guys because I have never once ever pretended to be that. And I won’t ever try to be. It’s impossible. I’m just figuring things out myself, I’m gonna make so many mistakes but I’ll learn from them and grow as a person just like anyone else. I won’t judge you if you open up to me, so don’t judge me.

Friends?

~Overprotective~

A one-shot requested by @is-there-any-name-left

Sana was standing next to her friends and to the boy squad and looking off the distance. They were talking about the party of last week where everyone was and about who hooked up with whom.When they started talking about how great Yousef and Noora looked, Sana just looked at the sky and tried to ignore them. Isak noticed unknown sad face of her’s and walked closer to her. “Hey.” he greeted her and smiled. She raised her eyebrow and a fake smile was on her face. He licked lips and gestured his head to the bench which was standing a few feet away from them. “Can we talk a little?” he asked and she nodded and followed him to the bench. 

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Sana asked and raised her eyebrow. “You.” He said and smiled at her warmly. “About me?” she asked confused. “Well and about that guy.” he tilted his head and looked at her with a mischievous smirk. “Which guy?” she coughed and acted like she didn’t know who he was talking about. “What was his name…Yousef. Was that also that guy from earlier? Whom you admired on your laptop?” 

“Admired?! Excuse me?! I didn’t admire him.” She said with a serious tone but jokingly. “You totally gave him heart eyes!” He said laughing and she turned away from him so he couldn’t see that she was smiling. “Shut up!” she said and hit him softly into his arm and made him laugh. 

After that there was a long silence between them until Isak turned around to her and smiled. “You like him, don’t you?” Sana looked at him for a second. She never really admitted her crush on Yousef or even told someone. She felt insecure about it. She could just say no and ignore his question but she knew that whatever she says, Isak would find it out, so she kept quiet and played with her hands and Sana’s quietness pretty much answered Isak’s question. Isak nodded his head and looked off the distance. 

“Sana… I know that we both don’t really talk about stuff like this but… If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone, you know that I’m here right? And I will always be here. I mean, we’re science buddies, come on!” He said and tried to make her smile again and succeeded. She laughed and looked at him with a wide smile. “And friends.” Isak nodded quickly and agreed her. “And friends obviously!” he said and Sana stretched out her arms so he could hug her. “Thank you.” she said and patted his back. 

Suddenly she saw her brother and his friends walking fast towards her and Isak. “Sana?” she saw Elias and let go Isak while rolling her eyes. “What do you want Elias? The keys again?” “Who is that?” he asked while raising his eyebrows and gesturing to Isak. Sana studied her brother’s face for a minute and looked up to Yousef who looked her in a way she hadn’t seen before and she couldn’t describe it. “That’s Isak. What do you need now?!” she asked and stood up slowly. “So this is Isak, the Isak you’re spending almost the whole time with?!” Sana saw how Elias was walking closer to her friend and studying his face. She quickly walked in front her brother stopped him. 

“Elias, if you just came here for no reason, then please back of, I don’t have time for you now.” She said and looked at all of his friends, including Yousef.  Isak just stood there, not knowing what was happening. “Why were you hugging?” Elias asked again and looked at him with a confused face. “We talked about something.” Isak got in but Elias looked at him and raised his eyebrows. “I’m talking to my sister right now, please keep your mouth shut. So, Sana, why were you hugging him?” he asked and focused on Sana again.

“What the fuck, Elias?! I hugged him because I wanted to! Because I was feeling like shit! Because he was the only one noticing how I was! Okay?!” she yelled at her brother and looked judging at his friends. 

“I don’t need you to come with your… army and being rude to my friend. Just because he’s a boy?! Am I not allowed to hang out with boys like you hang out with girls?” She questioned him and put her bag onto the bench. She could feel the heat running through her body. It was always like this, just because she was a muslim girl, she isn’t apparently allowed to do certain things. But being with her close friends could not be one of them. 

“Sana… That’s different with you. I don’t want others to misunderstand you or judge you.” Elias started to explain but she started to laugh at him. “How do you expect that when you are misunderstanding me yourself?!” she said calmly and looked him into his eyes. He was just looking embarrassed onto his feet. 

“Okay, I’m sorry Sana, I really am. I just.. When I saw you with a guy, I just had these brother instincts.” He told her and Isak and her started to laugh. “Elias, you don’t have to worry about that at all. There is not even a small possibility for me to date him.” she took her bag and looked at her confused brother and Yousef, who looked as confused as her brother, but with a little smirk on his face. 

“What do you mean?” Isak stood up now and walked next to Sana and put his arm onto her shoulder. “I have a boyfriend, and we’re very happy with our relationship.” he told Sana’s older brother and Sana smiled mischievously.

“Oh.” was all he could say. 

“Stop misunderstanding people, big brother.” she said and walked away with Isak.

anonymous asked:

Can I request for RFA + V and Saeran HC for meeting/dating a chubby/curvy MC who is super self conscious and insecure. Thanks!

RFA + V and Saeran with a chubby mc?

I had two requests for this and it also happens to be something I’ve thought about a hell of a lot with myself not being very thin. Just remember that you’re honestly beautiful no matter your size or what other people think of your size ♥


Yoosung

  • Physical appearances isn’t something that matters to Yoosung
  • When he was talking to you on the messenger, he felt a connection that he’s never had with anyone else
  • So when he first meets you, he is smitten beyond belief
  • You could literally turn up wearing a trash bag and this boy would tell you how gorgeous you look
  • He won’t see your insecurities right away, because in his mind there’s nothing to be insecure about, so it’s likely going to be something you have to explain to him
  • Emphasis on the explain because he honestly cannot wrap his head around it
  • You’re the most perfect person he’s ever met?????
  • But despite his confusion he’s extremely respectful, and if there’s certain areas you are extremely insecure about, he’ll only pay attention to them if you’re comfortable with it
  • Sometimes he’ll see you lost in thought, and on the off chance its a negative thought about yourself  he’ll just randomly compliment you
  • He has a young, dumb and naive vibe about him, but don’t be fooled, he’s quite intuitive and will use this to his advantage on making you feel better
  • His goal is to have you love yourself as much as he loves you

Zen

  • No matter who you are, the level of perfection that Zen embodies will bring out the worst insecurities in you
  • Which is even worse when they were already pretty prominent anyway
  • In pop culture the hot guy always ends up with the hot girl, and this internalised stereotype becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy around you all the time
  • You expected Zen to take one look at you and retract all those sweet things he had told you in the messenger and over the phone
  • But Zen has spent his whole life being judged for his looks, people not caring about who he is inside or the talent that he has, instead only caring about how attractive he was
  • This happening constantly has caused him to not care about looks, and as cliche as it sounds, he honestly only cares about the personality a person has
  • So when you do finally meet, you can’t help but notice the face splitting grin he’s wearing
  • He’s thrilled to have you in his arms at last, and he would never let you go if it were possible
  • There are certain times within your relationship where your insecurities feel like they are sky-rocketing, one of the biggest triggers for them being his fans
  • They’re always beautiful girls with model-like figures, and it makes you feel like shit
  • He notices this, every single time, and when he takes you to bed at night, he makes sure to pay extra attention to the areas you are most insecure about
  • He thinks you are a literal goddess, and he will worship you and your beautiful body as much as you need to feel better about yourself

Jaehee

  • As a woman, Jaehee is more than aware of the constant pressures society places on people to be ‘attractive’
  • In fact she likely has insecurities of her own
  • But she always seems not phased by things like that, so when you’re going to meet her, you feel extra nervous
  • It doesn’t help that she’s literally a dream girl herself
  • She looks effortlessly flawless when you do meet her, and for a brief moment all of your insecurities are heightened in ways they never have before in your life
  • Emphasis on the brief, because the second she lays eyes on you she is smitten
  • Her grin is so big and she cannot even hide it
  • She tells you how beautiful you love, pulling you into nervous hug
  • Even when the insecurities creep back up now and then during the day, you try your best to avoid letting them take over your mind
  • Working for Jumin Han has helped Jaehee be able to pick up the slightest change in behaviour or emotions however, so she’s immediately aware that something is wrong
  • She’ll ask gently, and you’ll mention that you’re a little nervous, maybe even let slip that you feel a little insecure
  • She won’t have it for a second
  • You’re so gorgeous to her, and you are the only person she’s ever felt this way about, so it leaves her a little dumbfounded that you might be insecure
  • But again, she likely has insecurities herself, and she’ll know that kind words and extra attention will go a long way
  • Every now and then she’ll compliment you subtly, but by the end of the day you’ll feel on top of the word
  • With her constant reassurances, you’ll one day learn to love yourself the way she loves you

Jumin

  • You know the kind of women that try and throw themselves at Jumin
  • Most of them are model like and attractive in ways you didn’t even know were possible
  • And he rejects every single one of them
  • You can’t help but think he’ll do the same to you once he meets you, because in your eyes you are nowhere even close to those girls and if they can’t get him then what chance could you possibly have
  • You feel physically sick the first time you’re going to meet him
  • Somehow you had managed to convince yourself this would be the first and last time you saw him
  • When he came into view your heart almost stopped, he looked incredible, just as you imagined
  • And when he saw you, you almost stopped and turned to run away
  • His face was expressionless for a moment, before turning up into a sly smirk
  • To him, you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, even more so than his precious Elizabeth 3rd
  • Similar to Jaehee, Jumin has learned to note changes in behaviour, tone, expression etc
  • It’s an important skill for him when doing business
  • Unfortunately he can’t quite figure out what it is that’s different with you, so being the blunt and forward person he is, he asks
  • When you tell him you feel insecure because of your size, he almost laughs, almost
  • He tells you how the only thing he’s thought about since he set eyes on you was how mesmerising you were
  • In his whole life, no one had managed to get through to him emotionally like you had, and that was the most important thing for him
  • All he wanted was you by his side, and now he has it

Seven

  • Honestly probably the least nervous for meeting because, you know
  • He’s already stalked your entire life online
  • So he probably knows what you look like already
  • Not to say that you won’t be insecure when meeting him, but it won’t be the very first time he’s seeing you
  • After all he’s also been watching you on the security cameras daily
  • You don’t even have chance to be nervous when first meeting him, because almost immediately gives you a bear hug
  • He’s literally beyond excited to finally meet you in person
  • You’re probably his favourite thing in the universe and now here you are, with him
  • He’s so in awe of you he definitely will not notice if you’re insecure about your size, and so it’s likely something you have to tell him
  • He’s ?? just ?? so ?? confused ??
  • In his eyes there isn’t a damn thing wrong with you????
  • In fact he really thinks you’re a million times more beautiful in person than in the pictures he’s seen or from watching you on the security camera
  • Definitely takes a mental note of anything specific you point out as an insecurity
  • Definitely pays extra attention to those areas when things get hot and heavy
  • And just in general like when you’re sat watching tv together or snuggling up together in bed
  • Tells you how pretty you are like a million times a day, and that is not an exaggeration 
  • He can’t believe how lucky he is to have you in his life, you make him feel so at ease
  • He couldn’t have asked for anything better to happen to him, you are the best thing that could have

V

  • Well let’s point out the obvious
  • He can’t see
  • He may still have that tiny bit of vision in his left eye when he finally meets you, but his sight was going pretty fast
  • So there’s a chance that he’s completely blind by the time it comes to meeting each other in person
  • Even still though, you are insecure, it’s just a part of who you are
  • He might not be able to see you, but you can, and others can
  • However, when you do actually meet, you find the fact he can’t see you slightly comforting
  • It allows you to spend time with him without being plagued by your insecurities
  • V has this vibe about him that just makes people feel at ease in his presence
  • Like he’s so gentle and soft but at the same time you know he is able to protect you and look after you
  • He is definitely the kind of person who enjoys having deep conversations late at night
  • So that’s likely when you eventually tell him about your insecurities 
  • He grins slightly, and tells you he’s always kept a secret from you
  • Even though at this point his sight is gone, when he first met you he still had a little bit left
  • He wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked, but he had an inkling doing so would change how you felt
  • You just looked so at ease and comfortable, and with a few little comments you made without realising he had quickly picked up on the fact you were insecure about your size
  • He tells you that it breaks his heart that he can no longer see your face
  • So much so that he’s actually been speaking to Jumin about getting the surgery after all
  • He was never interested until he missed being able to see your face
  • You’ve become so important to him and all he wants is to see your face light up, your eyes sparkle, every part of you
  • He loves you, and you are his literal goddess 

Saeran

  • Similar to his brother, Saeran has already seen you
  • When you became involved with the RFA, he definitely cyber stalked you, and potentially actually physically stalked you a little too
  • Just gathering intel as he would tell himself when he did it
  • However, you are unaware of this, so to you, it’s the first time he’s seeing you
  • When you meet you expect him to not like what he sees
  • But he doesn’t look surprised, or shocked, he just looks kind of content to see you
  • He’s his usually angsty self, but slightly, bubblier? 
  • It’s not a word you thought you would ever use to describe Saeran, but it was the only one fitting
  • You go for ice-cream, and your insecurities almost fade away
  • He’s another member of the group who probably won’t notice if you’re feeling a bit off due to insecurities, and even if he did have a slight feeling, he wouldn’t know what to do and so would ignore it
  • It isn’t until you open up to him a little and tell him about your insecurities due to your weight etc that he starts to understand
  • Seeing this slightly more vulnerable side of you brings out a more compassionate side in him
  • And he tells you about how your first meeting wasn’t the first time he saw you
  • He had actually seen you many times before that
  • And he was never honest with himself as to why
  • But he knew it was weird that he would seek you out 10x as much as the others
  • He confesses that he was captivated by you, how you were just so damn beautiful in everything you did, without even realising
  • There was always this desire within him to meet you because of this and become a part of your life, and he’s beyond grateful that he’s achieved that
  • Because even though he isn’t always open about his feelings, you are the one thing he needs more than anything else
  • You are his life now and he wouldn’t have it any other way

Thoughts on Chapter 863

Almost everyone was looking forward to see how Oda would handle Sanji and Pudding, after the mental breakdown she had when Sanji complimented her third eye. However, we got nothing but Sanji’s (expected) chivalry:

I say expected because the moment I saw the wedding cake being destroyed, I was sure that Sanji would land Pudding safely, since they were at the top of it (I actually spent the whole week discussing it with friends and everyone agreed that it was the likely case). He would never let a distressed woman fall to a possible death, he isn’t like that at all. Sanji’s chivalry was there from the beginning, it doesn’t matter age:

Or if he doesn’t know the victim, like in this recent episode:

Pudding’s case, however, is more like Kalifa, since she is an enemy. The CP9 lady also had that benefit, as Sanji refused to kick her. I understand why many people doesn’t like Sanji doing this with Pudding, but I believe that Sanji simply doesn’t see Pudding as a threat anymore, especially after her current state (but that could be proven wrong!). I already discussed with @namibean about how Sanji seems to perceive Pudding as just another woman now, because he never took her insults as something personal. He never had strong feelings for her to begin with and saw her as just a possibility (ray of hope) of having a less painful future without his friends, but that never really sailed as he discovered her betrayal soon enough. 

Given his forgiving nature, it doesn’t make sense to have Sanji heartbroken or hating her. So, no hard feelings and we can see by Sanji’s expression this chapter, that the acting is over and so are his pervert faces (which is another hint that Sanji was only struggling with his primal instincts). All that matters now is Luffy and his friends. Perhaps Oda was really giving a message with the latest chapter titles (Consummate Actor, Consummate Thinker, Consummate Gentleman). There is nothing about love, just a plan that involved Sanji being an actor and a gentleman, that touched the evil bride’s heart by chance. 

We don’t know what will happen between the two but Oda could have focused a lot in Sanji carrying Pudding (like he focused with Sanji carrying Nami in Thriller Bark), but he didn’t. The focus is on Sanji worried about the plan.

It’s also interesting that Oda didn’t show any sign of Pudding’s reaction. I believe it was on purpose, since he knows the audience is dying to know if she will switch sides or not. He wants to create mystery, and now there is a possibility that he will go for a twist (like Pudding backstabbing Sanji despite his kindness) or the expected (Pudding changes sides or remains a ‘reluctant’ enemy). Of course, your interpretation of what a twist and what the expected is might be the complete opposite. Honestly, I think everything could happen now. ^^ 

The exciting part is that my girl Nami is really taking her role seriously and she seems to be going at Sanji (and Pudding?) direction, acting as leader of the rescue team:

Last chapter she was also the one who reacted after the gunshot:

By the way she is acting and how she is holding her weapon, my hopes that she gets a real fight increased a bit after this chapter.

It’s not a bad thing to remember how Nami was really eager to fight the enemy as long as Sanji would come back with her:

We also know that the Vinsmokes are really a complicated bunch, Nami could be targeted by the Vinsmoke brothers, especially if they misunderstand things and believe that the Strawahts shot the priest and are ruining the wedding. If something like that happens, I hope that Sanji intervenes for Nami’s sake and, perhaps, he finally gets his revenge (let’s not forget that Sanji is covering his injured face and Nami doesn’t know it). If Sanji and Nami get to work together here, it would be great to see how their relationship develops as they didnt talk since Nami told him she was going to put things aside until the situation is resolved.

If things go in the opposite direction and the Vinsmokes revolt against Big Mom, there is the possibility of Pudding being kidnapped by Judge as he said he would do something like that if Big Mom threatens them. Also, the flashback Pudding had with Lola, possibly ties her story with Nami (as Lola’s sworn sister). In short, I can see both the Vinsmokes and Pudding having a lot to do with Sanji’s and Nami’s personal arcs in this Tea Party, maybe it could even happen at the same time (or maybe it won’t happen at all). But if Pudding becomes a damsel in distress (I hope not), it would be really interesting if Sanji’s chivalry is explored with Nami there again, like the conversation they had in Enies Lobby. 

The possibilities of Sanji and Nami interacting in this final part of the arc are really interesting and I hope Oda delivers it. ^^

Guilt weighed him down *Stefan Salvatore*

One of my absolute favorite characters of all time Stefan who went through actual development and taught me some very important lessons.

Throughout his whole life Stefan has done much harm to people, he was a ripper and a vampire which meant he had to feed off people in order to survive. Personally, I believe in what Emily said here:

His vampirism would be a curse to his pure and good soul. Before turning he wanted the exact opposite of killing people and that was curing them:

He didn’t want to be alone and so he made a choice to also help his brother turn. That didn’t turn out so well. I can’t help it but feel like the reason why Stefan was “all about free will” later on in his life it’s because he didn’t give a choice to his brother and that led him to an eternity of misery for the both of them. 

His friend Lexi however, helped him a lot by finding a possible “way” for him to feel better and live his life. Animal blood wasn’t only a way to feed but a psychological escape to his comfort zone (or food?). It’s like choosing to be vegan or a vegetarian (tho this could be a possible insult bc he gets the blood from animals but you get the point). Choosing to starve himself was a way for him to keep living without the overwhelming guilt and emotions, he chose to rather drive himself to starvation and excruciating hunger rather than spend any more time hurting others:

Is true he gave in to the dark side as a ripper three times in the whole franchise but we have to look past that and understand why. The first time he was compelled by Klaus because he didn’t want to feed on Elena, the second time it happened because Caroline threatened to kill his niece, and the final time it happened to save the twins. People always seem to forget that Stefan went to war (1940) only so he could do something for the greater good. Knowing what vampirism had done to him, Stefan did his best to comfort Vicki and Caroline through their transition and bloodlust. Emphasizing on his ability to put others first, Stefan didn't only care about his loved one but also the people that were important to them, such as going in the tomb to get Jeremy out even tho he wouldn’t be able to get out after that, and wanting to switch places with Jenna when Klaus decided to sacrifice her.


 He wanted the humans (and vampires) around him to be safe. I believe that Stefan is brave to a Gryffindor level, he’s daring since the very moment the first episode started when he said: “I have to know her”. I think that being brave is going into the unknown without looking back, that doesn’t mean you’re fearless though because it’s not about not having fears but being good at hiding them. Countless of times Stefan went to save his brother without knowing he’d turn back or not:

Once Stefan quite literally got his heart ripped out to save Caroline, he went to hell and back to save his brother and he was determined to make sure everyone came back as he told Elena. 

Being physically in pain is one thing but he had to deal with a lot of emotional baggage. Often times characters judge him by saying that he’s the hero and should be constantly doing hero stuff:

Keep reading

Barnes’ Books - chapter 3

I’m enjoying this, but writing it this fast (I’m also being a mum today and so on obviously!) does I’m sure mean it’s all a load of tripe and full of errors too. Sorry! x

Barnes’ Books masterlist


I guess I’m expecting a phone call that night, or the next morning, so I’m on edge. After I left the message, I fed Steve, locked up and went home, but I couldn’t sleep well, kept waking up, thinking I’d heard the phone ring. It didn’t though, laying silent and useless.

The next morning I went back to the hospital, glad for the first time that I was out of work and could be there for James.  He looked pale against the hospital sheets, and the nurse told me he’d had a bad night with the pain. They planned to operate that afternoon, all being well. I held James’ hand, and told him that I’d called his grandson, and that I was sure he’d be here soon. He’d just been given another dose of pain meds and wasn’t really with it, so it was hard to judge if calling Jamie had been the right thing to do. I wittered on for a bit, telling him that I’d feed Steve, but I think he got a bit confused with all the drugs, started laughing and telling me that Steve had a big appetite, that I’d better cook extra spaghetti sauce. When he started to drift off again, I patted his hand, told him I’d look after the shop, and left.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I hope you don't mind me asking but how do you know Ren and Baekho are moved to f? I'm so confused, everywhere I've looked online has nu'est in the top 22. Do the judges just disregard public opinion? I'm not liking this show atm, it seems incredibly harsh and BoA seems to have no respect for the contestants. I really want nu'est to do well which is why Im watching but I feel so frustrated, nu'est are so talented and I was shocked with a D but being moved to F? I can't help but feel bitter cont.

Continued. Ren is an amazing dancer and his covers of Lady gaga songs are brilliant and Baekho, the lead singer with his powerful vocals in F!? I admit I’m definitely biased towards nu'est but there were many talented trainees on ep1 and the judging felt almost cruel. I wasn’t happy JR, Baekho and Ren got Ds but I thought at least it’s in the middle. I will probably cry if they really do get put in F.


Okay, so the grading and the voting are two separate things. Grades are given by the trainers/judges, whereas voting is done by the public. NU’EST is in the top 22 when in terms of voting, but their grades are all over the place based on how they’re performing on the show (voting has nothing to do with grades). The boys started out with the grades from their auditions, but once they had to learn the theme song dance in 3 days, most of them struggled, and therefore dropped in rank. We’ve known Min will end up in D, with JR in B, and BaekRen in F since the “Me, It’s Me” performance was first uploaded based on where they were placed in the dance alone. 

BoA has been in this industry since she was 14 years old or so and pulled her company (SM) out of bankruptcy. She is also basically the mother of modern day Kpop and these kids kind of owe it to her success that Kpop is as huge as it is (and any idols who have a fanbase in Japan, you can thank her and TVXQ for paving the way there because they had to start out by busking when they tried to break into the Japanese market). BoA expects a certain level of skill from these kids and many of them aren’t stepping up, so if she seems harsh, it’s because she’s being real with them. Lying to them won’t help them improve, and BoA has so much experience she has seen it all. Maybe she could present herself more kindly, but this is actually a dose of reality in this industry. 

To be honest, LOVEs are being more biased towards NU’EST than anyone else. I love them and I know they are incredibly skilled, but LOVEs need to understand this very important thing: they are idols with 5 years of experience performing on a stage in front of people and even creating their own music. In the first episode for their auditions, the judges told them right away they would be judging them harder than the others simply because they had to take in their years of experience into consideration. That’s how they’re making this fair for the trainees who do not have the same experience levels. 

Not to mention, that performance was nowhere near as good as NU’EST has performed before. They were nervous and emotional and it showed in their performance. Their voices were shaky and at times weak and it kept them from having a strong stage presence. We know they can perform better, but in order to be judged fairly, the judges could only take what they saw in front of them into account. So yes, the judges are being harder on them, but it is completely fair in the way that they’re being harder on them. It levels the playing field. 

I know it’s hard and we want the best for our boys, but we also need to stay level-headed and not immediately hate on these judges just because they aren’t giving our boys the highest scores the way we would. There is a reason for this and so far there hasn’t been anything unfair in terms of grading by the judges. Also remember that our boys are nervous and this is all new for them in a sense because they haven’t had to compete like this in over 5 years. Once they get into their groove and see how the fans are supporting them, I think we will see them perform much better on the show. Just have faith. 

one of the worst things about growing up in a religious family/setting is being told that so many things are sinful and that if you participated it would make you a bad person and you’d go to hell 

and now that you’re an adult you want to figure out what you believe and trying to figure out who you are but every time you think about doing a “bad” thing you feel all of this internal guilt and shame and you don’t know how to talk about it or who to talk about it with because you don’t know if others understand or if they’ll judge you so you continue feeling isolated and just have an ongoing battle with yourself because you don’t know what to do and its so freaking awful

Actually can I chip in a little on why being a Grey Jedi is literally impossible in Star Wars canon

There are non-sith dark side users. But they are not Grey Jedi. A Jedi, once taking the plunge into the dark side, either are pulled out of it fully into the light again (there are a few relevant examples in canon), or by that one decision/action slide all the way into darkness.

You know how we know that one thing is all it takes? There was a Jedi who wanted to to know one thing from the darkness, and one thing only.

His name was Anakin Skywalker.

And that one thing: the power over life and death.

And then, nearly ten thousand dead Jedi later, on Mustafar, he would not renounce the darkness even as his wife pleaded with him to go away with her.

The darkness lies. That is the entire point of it. Palpatine told Anakin it was only one thing he would have to do - and then it became everything. That’s what being a dark side user is. It draws you in with promises of more and more power.

Aside from the fact the Force was first introduced as “the Force” and “The Dark side of the Force” - obviously a corruption of what the Force is - what is grey? How does a Force-user judge what is grey? Is grey Light + one little thing nobody needs to know about, or Light + several other things people don’t need to know about, eventually becoming all the things that dark side users do?

It is impossible for a Jedi to be grey. They would cease to be a Jedi the moment they stepped into it.

anonymous asked:

Do any other autistics experience this thing where it gets like 10 times harder to do anything when people are around? It doesn't matter what it is, whether it's get up to get a drink or go wash dishes or anything. If the other people present are going to leave soon, I always have to wait until they're gone to get anything done. If they don't leave it's like an internal battle to just Do Things. Is this related to executive dysfunction? Because it doesn't make much sense to me and is annoying.

This could be related to executive dysfunction. I know I experience it too. I can’t clean the house if my father is even in it.

Part of this could also come from being self conscious of other’s judging how you’re completing tasks. I hate hate hate when anyone watches me do things because I know they’re going to tell me how to do it or give me a “helpful suggestion” because I’m doing it wrong. I try and make it clear that I know what I’m doing and if I have a question, I will ask. 

So it could be executive dysfunction, a sort of hiccup in your process because the right way to do things involves being alone, or it could be a reaction or preventative measure towards being told how to do things or insecurity about doing them wrong somehow.

I hope that answers your question!

- palp

anonymous asked:

It saddens me when people exonerate Aaron of all his screw ups because of his mental health. Like that is the excuse they use to explain away any fault or flaw he may have. But they don't give the same liberties to Robert? Who has also been through a shit ton of stuff in his life. He may not turn on himself like Aaron does but he turns on other people when dealing with grief and that is not a healthy coping mechanism which shows the that he probably struggles with his mental health as well.

Here is the thing nonnie. I don’t judge Aaron or blame him, because I know first hand how difficult dealing with MH is. That being said, that doesn’t mean just because a person is MH they have the right to shift the blame onto there partner, cause like. Do you know that sort of guilt? To be told your the reason the person you love the most is hurting themselves. For Robert to compare himself to Gordon? That sort of shit, can really fuck a person up. It’s just not acceptable to me. It was Aaron’s choice, his. He could have gone and sought help, he could have come clean to Robert weeks ago. I don’t blame him, not at all, but I expect him to own his decision. Because he made them and no one else. And as someone with MH myself, I think it’s important to own my own decision the good and the bad. 

As for Robert, hopefully him falling down the stairs, will give him a chance to develop his coping mechanisms. 

Fic: A Necessary Evil

Rating: Teen
Summary: Henry comes to Rumple for relationship advice, leading Rumple to wonder exactly what else his grandson needs to know. In other words, it’s a “Rumple gives Henry The Talk” fic, featuring very, very awkward situations.

[read it on Ao3]

If Rumple was being completely honest, having Henry as is apprentice was a complete nuisance for the shop. Whatever job he gave Henry, regardless of how simple, was completely fruitless. He couldn’t clean for the life of him, and despite being told not to touch anything Rumple repeatedly found him nosing around everything he could lay his hands on. Whilst this was the case, Rumple always found himself watching the clock, looking forward to when Henry would finish school. He cherished the time he spent with his grandson, feeling grateful that he was able to watch him grow up.

This was particularly the case because this was the age that he missed out on with Bae. Henry was making the transition from a boy into a young man, and what a smart young lad he was becoming along the way. This growth had become particularly apparent to Rumple when he had walked into the room and caught Henry trying to flex his abs in the mirror, or picking up heavy antiques in an attempt to use them as weights. Each time this happened, he would exit the room before Henry spotted him, walking in much louder to give Henry time to compose himself.

The reason he was so sympathetic was because he remembered going through this often-embarrassing stage when he himself was a boy. He had tried to keep up with all of the other boys his age, who were suddenly growing broader shoulders and biceps, turning the heads of all the girls who also suddenly seemed a lot more attractive. He watched from afar, a head shorter than the rest of them and with a lot less stubble. Once particular time sprang to mind when he tried lifting a crate three times his weight in an attempt to impress a girl he fancied, Chirita. This pitiful tale ended with the crate falling on his foot and a crowd of his peers gathering around to laugh, including Chirita. His aunts had eventually spotted the commotion and helped him out, and the moment they got back to their hovel he let out all of the tears he’d been holding in. They’d given him a big talk that night about how he shouldn’t compare himself to other boys – he had his own talents. Somehow, it hadn’t made him feel better.

Keep reading

Always

Characters: Baekhyun x You (ft. Kai & other members)

Type: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 1830

A/N: Re-posting an edited version because Tumblr deleted my scenarios.

»Trust is probably the most important thing in a relationship, besides love of course. Be careful and protect your loved ones, because you never know who may want to steal them away from you. «

The day Baekhyun confessed to you wasn’t one of your greatest. You were in love with someone else and he knew that. But he also knew that you wanted to move on. So you accepted and now you were glad you did.

Dating Baekhyun was one of the most beautiful things in your life. You started to fall for him and loved him dearly. How could you not? He was always there for you. Yet, there were things going on you couldn’t understand.

Why was Baekhyun suddenly so hostile towards you?

He changed suddenly and when you confronted him, he blew up on you, voicing out doubts. He thought you were cheating on him. With whom? Your previous crush.

You couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t trusting you, rather he trusted that damn man that wanted you guys to split and it seems like that person reached it.

“He never trusted you, you see. It needed just a photo of a randomly bought underwear and he instantly trusted me that you slept with me and cheated on him. He was so blind with anger that he didn’t even make sure if it was yours or not. Laughable.”

You were just a crying mess. Sitting on the ground, you were hugging your knees while your face was buried in them. Your small frame shaking as you hiccuped.

Kai was obsessed with you, he started to stalk you and watch your every move. He was always around you in the shadows. And now, he successfully blackmailed you with the well-being of his friends to let him into your home. He was threatening you with his friends, he was just inhuman, a psychopath.

The moment Baekhyun asked you to be his and you accepted, he snapped. Strange things happened to him after. Kai changed, he wasn’t him anymore and you were glad that he didn’t get the courage to ever ask you out.

But Baekhyun didn’t trust you anymore and your mutual friends probably as well. Baekhyun knew that long, they were better friends. They wouldn’t be on your side, no one is. Not after you tried to make them believe you, yet they were not letting you speak. They were not listening.

The only person who knew everything and believed you unconditionally was your best friend Yujin and you hoped that she would tell the guys everything because there was no escape from Kai this time. Not when he locked you guys into your home.

“Why are you doing this?! This is not loving! You are hurting me!!” You cried into your hand, not understanding how he could have changed so much to the worst. What had you done to deserve something like this?

“You don’t know what love is.” He whispered. “You don’t love me yet to understand, but don’t worry…” He came closer towards your figure on the ground, crouching down in front of you to take your head in both of his hands. You froze instantly, feeling utterly disgusted at his touch. But he would flip out if you dared to slap his hand away. Kai getting angry was definitely something you didn’t want to happen. He would get violent for sure.

“I will make you fall in love with me.” He breathed out, his eyes stuck on your lips before neared his. Feeling his breath against your lips, you squirmed instinctively, trying to show him away from you. This surely fuelled him on as he pulled you to him aggressively, crashing his lips to yours. It wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t gentle. His kiss hurt. He was suddenly biting your lower lip so hard, bringing you to whimper as you tasted your blood. making them bleed. Mistaking the sound as content and a sound of pleasure, Kai smirked amusedly not stopping once.

He was really thinking that you were enjoying his torture. He was sure that you would love him back soon enough. He was insisting that you never stopped loving him. Because you were now his and nobody would be able to tear you apart.

Kai was in bliss. Finally have you in his arms, by his side. His.

You, on the other hand, felt like throwing up. Feeling your strength leave you to the mercy of the man who is forcing himself on you, you let your tears run down your cheeks. He was already lost in his own beliefs to see reality. Your true feelings for him. Hate.

However, this wasn’t enough anymore. Kai needed more. “You are finally mine.” Pulling you up, he shoved you into a wall while murmuring. His hands ran down from your face towards your hips, pulling them towards him. He loved the friction, and he wasn’t really hiding that fact as his breath hitched.

A sob broke out of you. When will this stop? When will someone come to rescue you?

Slipping his hands into your shirt, his lips found your neck, leaving painful red marks. The moment his hands reached your bra, though, he was shoved away from you, letting you slide down the wall as Kai was forced into the bathroom with a punch by none other than Baekhyun himself.

Letting your head fall between your knees, you hugged yourself tightly. You felt dirty, so overly dirty and used that you were on the brink of hating yourself.

Seeing the state you are in, Baekhyun saw red. If it wasn’t for Chanyeol pulling him away and Tao locking Kai away, he would be pouncing on the younger without mercy. With the intent to kill him, if not hurt him severely. He didn’t seem to be able to tone down his anger, especially not with Kai shouting.

He was pounding on the door, shouting that you were his and that he would get you no matter what and that he wouldn’t stop and leave you in the hands of anyone else.

Not being able to calm down, you breathed in and out deeply, rocking yourself back and forth. Seeing your distressed and frightening state with sad eyes, guilt rose in the guys immediately. They couldn’t believe that they judged you without even hearing you out. The only thing they could do now was thank heavens that Yujin told them everything in time and that they actually listened to her. How could they have doubted an innocent soul like you? You were like their little sister and they didn’t trust you enough. Why would you, out of all people, make something up about one of their friends?

You, though, didn’t know what to feel at the moment. You were extremely freaked out and scared as you noticed someone stalking you. Totally shocked as you found out it was Kai, a friend you knew longer than Baekhyun. Heartbreak and a whole new level of sadness, when your friends and Baekhyun jumped to a conclusion without listening to you or hearing you out and leaving you alone But the extreme relief that you were saved now.

These were too many emotions at once. So it was no wonder that you would be crying messily, trying to forget what just had happened. How the touches felt. How his kisses felt like. You felt like puking, rubbing your skin dry and clean of anything.

“I can’t believe we didn’t listen to what she had to say. I can’t even believe that we didn’t – that I didn’t – notice her changes and how scared she always was,” D.O mumbled, eyes watering seeing the state you were in. “We are such jerks…”

“Baby,“ Baekhyun whispered a tear escaping his eyes as he tried to walk near you. You flinched the moment he touched your shoulders and retreated instantly seeing your reaction. It just broke him more. How could he ever think you would cheat on him? You the person who ran after him rather than the other way around.

“We broke her.” Chanyeol breathed out. “How could we?”

Baekhyun fell to his knees, hands balled into the fist ready to pounce on the man who did this to you. “That son of a-…”

“Baekhyun?” Your voice a mere whisper as your head cleared and you recognised your boyfriend’s voice. Was it really him? Or were you dreaming?

Baekhyun sobbed, pulling you towards his chest, basically crushing you with his arms.
“I am so sorry. I am so sorry. You were always protecting us and we just tossed you away, I am so sorry!”

“I was so afraid Baek.” You sobbed. The boys were taking some steps back, giving you guys a bit of privacy, discussing what they should do with Kai now. He was a friend after all, but his actions were unforgiving and based on the protests and noises he made in your bedroom, he wouldn’t give up so soon. The police were needed in this. (Past) Friend or not.

Baekhyun pulled away to look into your face, wiping away your tears and you doing the same with his. He slowly leant his forehead to yours, smiling sadly at you. “Can you forgive me. Scratch that, I will do anything for you to forgive me. You mean so much to me.”

More tears fell down, but this time of happiness. You just nodded in delight and Baekhyun couldn’t believe it. He was really dating an angel. One that seemed to always forgive him. He didn’t deserve you, but he would make up every mistake. He would earn your forgiveness and trust again. It won’t be easy and he didn’t expect it to be, but he will do his best.

The moment you smiled at him, he has dazed again, unconsciously locking his lips with yours. It was an innocent peck at first but soon turned out to be much more. He started to move his lips softly pouring all his feelings into the kiss, till he became needy. The kiss turned into a rough and passionate one, yet still so gentle, so different from Kai’s before, so him. It was making your head dizzy, giving you so many tingles. You were shivering from the intense feelings. And to your luck, it made your mind hazy, making you forget what just happened minutes ago. You two were in bliss, this was it: perfect. It was everything.

The first one to pull away was you, catching your breath as you smiled even brighter. Whatever he did, he was always the one holding your heart, being the owner of it. And his heart belonged solely to you.

“I love you so much.” Baekhyun huffed out, kissing your face all over.

You giggled at the small tingles it left on your face. “I love you too. So much! Just…listen to me the next time, okay?”

Always.


3

Nanase, what do you intend to do? Are you prepared to cast aside everything else and swim for a dream you cannot surrender to anyone else? If you’re not prepared to do that, you have no right to stand on this stage.

He's getting married but not to you part 3

Part 1

Part 2

 Luke’s pov. 

 2 months, that’s all it took. I was breaking down without her. I’d definitely made the wrong decision. And now I was stuck with it. It was my own fault.There was nothing i could do now, if the truth about how I really felt about y/n came out- everything would be ruined. I would have nothing, I’d lose Katey and I’d already lost y/n.

 But then again, the idea of losing Katey was nice, she wasn’t what I thought she was and my life was not going to plan. I can’t help but think that maybe we rushed into this whole marriage thing.

 My mother had told me not to mess anybody about, and I told her I wouldn’t. Yet here I am at y/n’s door, waiting for her to open it. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting. I was hoping that we could forget everything that happened and still be best friends- but I knew there was no way that was going to happen. It was laughable at how stupid I could be sometimes. 

 The door opened and I was met with a wide eyed y/n. 

Shock was written on her face, etched upon the confusion in her eyes as she took in my appearance.

 "Luke?“ She asked quietly, her eyes sparkling slightly and her body standing up a little straighter. 

 I probably wasn’t the nicest sight to look at. I hadn’t slept last night, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Truthfully I hadn’t stopped thinking about her for a while now. In fact she was always the one on my mind. On nights where I couldn’t sleep, laying in bed staring at the ceiling counting sheep, she always managed to creep into my head. 

 "Y/n, please just hear me out- I need your help.” I said quickly just in case she thought about shutting the door on me- I wouldn’t blame her if she did though.

 "Help?“ She chuckled sadly, shaking her head. “Of course you’d only be here if you wanted something” She mumbled, probably hoping I wouldn’t hear her.

 "No, it’s not like that, I just need to talk to you, promise that you’ll just listen to what I have to say, please, I know I don’t deserve it, but please”

 "Fine" she huffed, reluctantly letting me in. I went to the kitchen, sitting up on one of the stools as she flicked the kettle switch.

 "So what do you want?“ She asked bluntly, it was unlike her to ever be cold to anyone even if she didn’t like them.

 "How have you been?” I asked generally curious.

 "Fine.“ She said bluntly, again. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t her.

 "Are you sure?” I asked

 "Yes, I’ve had people help me get over you" she said, not looking at me.

 "Oh, well… I-I guess that’s good" I said, trying to process the fact that she was over me. Part of me didn’t believe her, could you really get over someone you’ve loved for 2 years within two months?

 "How’s married life?“ She asked bitterly.

 "It’s- well- it’s not what it’s all cut out to be, I thought it would be easy- but fuck, it’s so hard” I stressed.

 "Oh" she said quietly. “Do you regret it?” She asked timidly her mean act dropping as she returned to her normal caring self. I understood her previous bluntness, she was only trying to protect herself. She didn’t want to give me the chance to hurt her again.

 "N-no" I lied, I couldn’t let anyone know this was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made.

 "Right, okay" she said turning away from be so she couldn’t see my face.

 "It’s just- I don’t know what to do-“ I sighed “she’s talking about wanting children” I watched as y/n turned around to look at me now. She was surprised to say the least. 

 "C-Children?“ “Yeah, but I don’t want children. Not now, not while I’ll be on tour for most of its childhood. I can’t do that to a kid” I said 

 "Oh. Isn’t the whole point of getting married to have kids?“ She asked quietly.

 "I don’t know. But I can’t.”

 "Have you told her this? That you don’t want kids” she asked looking at me in sympathy.

 "No. She thinks I want them”

 "You might want to tell her that then, or maybe you should have said this before you got married, I mean you did kinda jump right into this… Thing" she said not being sarcastic in any way. She actually listened without judging, she was too nice to ever judge. She was such a good friend and this is why I couldn’t lose her.

 "M-my mum told me something that I shouldn’t do but I’ve basically already done it so I might as well carry on" I said, I had to tell her, she needed to know. 

 "What did she tell you?“

 "Not to mess you around, but you need to know how I really feel” I said.

  "Luke, please don’t, please leave it you’re married end of conversation okay, just enjoy the life you Have. Jesus Christ Luke. She wants to have children with you, this is serious!“ She said, her voice raising.

 "But I don’t want children! Not now. I’m way too young” I said.

  "Luke I can’t help you, I don’t know what you want me to say or do!“ She sighed.

 The doorbell rang and the tension in the room rose. I looked at her in question to ask whether she was expecting anyone. She shrugged before walking to the door. I stayed where I was trying to listen to the visitors voice.

 "What? is he here? Like right now?” I heard someone say.

 "Yes, so be quiet" y/n whispered but I could still hear. 

 "Well? What does he want?“ The voice asked. I couldn’t make out if it was familiar or not. 

 "I don’t know” she said back in a rush. 

 "Should I come back later?“ He asked.

 "Please” she said back and it went quiet for a moment. 

 "You need to tell him at some point okay?“ I heard him say.

 "Calum wait…” She said

 "Yeah?“

 "Actually don’t worry, I’ll tell you later, see you in a bit” I heard the front door shut and not even a few seconds later she was back in the kitchen standing a few meters away from me.

 "Calum?“ I asked after a while of silence. 

 "Yeah, he… Um he’s just helping me with a few things at the moment.” She said.

 "Oh… Is there… Something you need to tell me?“ I asked cautiously. I’d rather know if she’s with Calum before telling her how I feel.

 "Shit”

 "What?“ I asked worried if she had hurt herself or something.

 "You heard us didn’t you?”

 "Yeah…“ I said, scratching the back of my neck. When did things become so awkward between us.

 "Well, I decided that I’m going to go to university now” she said, a small shy smile adorning her face.

 "Well that’s great!“ I said encouragingly, I knew she wanted to go at some point to study psychology . “Which university? The one down the road?” I asked. 

 "Yeah… No, about that, it’s kind of in America” she said.

 America. The other side of the fucking world.

 "Oh.. Um wow… America… Jeez that’s far away…“ I said quietly.

 "Yeah… But the university looks amazing!” She said excitedly.

 "Wow well, I hope you get in…“ I said feeling bad for wishing she doesn’t. 

God, I’m her best friend, I should be supportive of her choices but I don’t want her to go, it would leave me with my mess of a life without her guidance.

  "I already got in! I’m leaving next week so I can settle in!” She said happily. 

“Wow… How long have you known?” I asked, she had a guilt look on her face.

 "A while" she mumbled, “ I was going to tell you, but things happened…" 

 "Oh. Well… I’m happy for you, you’ll do great. How long is the course?”

 "2 years" she said “I’m so excited, I love America, I’ve only ever been once and that wasn’t hardly enough time to explore”

 "2 years?“ I said my eyes wide. 2 years. “Will you come visit us here?” I asked “and your family of course”

 "Maybe, but mum and dad said they might come visit me and make a holiday out of it so I wouldn’t have to come back here”

 "Oh…“ I said while she started rambling about how nice the university is and the grounds.

 "I’ll miss you” I cut her off. She looked surprised, before her face crumpled a bit and she pouted. 

 "I’ll miss you too" she whispered “it’ll all work out though, I’ll call and text you, FaceTime, Skype like every night”.

  I knew that wouldn’t happen. It might for the first week but then the facetimes will turn to phone calls which will eventually turn to texts every so often, which will then become nothing, leaving emptiness and suddenly memories will start to fade. Faces will become a blur, it will be hard to remember the small things, hair colour, eye colour… Then one day a few years maybe- we’ll remember and wonder why we ever stopped talking. What went wrong. But if I suddenly decide to get back in contact it would be deemed as weird. We’d be strangers. I didn’t want that to happen.

 I didn’t want her to disappear from my life.

 "Just don’t become a stranger" I said.

“I-I won’t”

 "Promise?“ I said reaching my pinky out. It’s something we used to do as younger children.

 "Seriously?” She giggled. I hadn’t heard her giggle for months. 

 "Yes" I said fully seriously.

 "Luke…“

 "Promise me!” I said 

 "It’s for the best Luke…“ 

 "No no no, you’re not going to be s stranger, I won’t let, in fact I’ll fly over to see you… You’re my best friend" 

 "Yeah? I’m your best friend. That’s why I have to do this Luke! Don’t you understand how hard this is for me? I can’t stay here!”

 "Well you can’t leave!“

 "Why do you care? You have her, you don’t need me!”

 "Don’t say that, I’ll always need you" I sighed.

 "Yeah but you don’t want me" she said quietly. “Look Luke, I think you should go" 

 —————————————— 6 months later —————————————–

 - y/n pov

 "Hi is Luke there?” I asked through the phone. So far we had managed to stay in contact since I’d moved to university.

 "Oh no he’s out sorry" Katey said.

“Oh okay, I’ll call back later" 

 "Wait y/n don’t go yet, I need to invite you to my baby shower” she said excitedly.

 Baby shower… 

 "Sorry what? Baby shower?“ I asked confused. I could feel my heart beat start to quicken - in fear or panic, I wasn’t quite sure.

 "Luke didn’t tell you?” She asked confused.

 "Um no…“ I said, trying to keep my breathing even.

 "I know Luke probably wanted to tell you but I might aswell now, we’re having a baby!” She squealed in excitement.

 I nearly dropped my phone but managed to quickly catch it before it landed on the floor. I held it into shoulder for a minute so she couldn’t hear my shaky breath through the speaker. 

 "Wow" I finally managed to say.

   “You okay?” She asked.

  "Yeah" I said quickly “just surprised, I mean wow… Congratulations, that’s- that so amazing! Wow” i tried so hard not to sound fake. I laughed nervously as she replied. 

 "I know right! Im so excited" she gushed. “Although i thought Luke would have told you by now it’s been… Nearly 6 months” I coughed - shocked at how Luke hadn’t told me.

 "6 months! Wow that’s wow- why didn’t Luke tell me?“ I said out loud without meaning to. 

 "I don’t know” she said mindlessly. “But I’ll get him to call you back”

 "Okay thank you" I said still in shock. My shock was slowly turning into anger. What the hell had he gotten himself into. He said he didn’t want children 6 months ago when he came to talk to me, but not even a week or so after that… I don’t understand.

 Luke, what the FuCK?- y/n 

 Why didn’t you tell me?- y/n

 6 months and you didn’t tell me- y/n 

 I know this is probably hard for you if what you told me is still true- y/n 

 But this is serious, a kid Luke. A life that you have created- y/n

 What have you gotten yourself into- y/n

 I’m sorry y/n. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would be true.- Luke

 But fuck, I need your help, I don’t know what to do, we alway used condoms, I didn’t want a child, it’s too late to walk away,- Luke

 Yes Luke it’s too late to walk away, don’t even think about that- y/n 

 I don’t love Katey anymore- Luke

 What? LUKE! You have to, you can’t do that to her, don’t ever tell her that okay? You need to be there for her and the baby, YOUR baby!- y/n 

 I’ll sort it out okay- Luke 

 Luke no. Phone me right now!- y/n 

 This is why I didn’t tell you- Luke

 LUKE!- y/n What do you mean sort it out?- y/n 

 I waited 5 minutes for a reply until I knew that he wasn’t going to.

 ——————————— Another 6 months later ————————————–

“I’ll see you later!” I called to Andrea, a new friend I had made at university. I ran down my road though the to my apartment. I stopped a few meters away from the front door seeing a figure sitting on the ground, head leaning back against my front door, their hood up to stop their hair getting wet. 

 "Luke?“ I asked Thoroughly confused. 

 "Y/n!” He said happily jumping up quickly. 

 "What the hell are you doing here?“ I asked. He lifted his rucksack up, shrugging. 

 "I left her” He said causally as if it was nothing.

 "You- you what? But you have a kid together!“ 

 "It’s not mine!” He smiled.

 "What?“ 

 "It’s not mine! I told you, we used condoms, she got annoyed at me because I didn’t want children so she slept with someone else, she admitted it a week before she gave birth" 

 "And you just left?” I asked.

  "Yep, went home, told mum, then came straight here" he shrugged. 

 "Luke, how are you so calm about this?“ 

 "Because i told you I didn’t love her any more” he smiled. He looked so happy, I still wasn’t fully understanding.

 "Luke you’re married" 

 "We won’t be for long, I filed for a divorce. I’m here to stay…“ He said becoming shy “if you’ll let me…”

 "Luke, of course I’ll let you, you’re my best friend.“ He smiled widely before hugging me. 

“How about we go inside and get out of these wet clothes?" 

 "Sounds perfect" 

 Maybe sometime in the future something may happen between us, but everything in this moment seemed like a dream. It’s funny how things work out so perfectly sometimes.

MTVS Epic Rewatch #108

VM 2x11 Donut Run

Stray thoughts

1) VM did the elevators thing way better than Grey’s Anatomy okay? let me have this please

2) There’s not a single thing that I don’t love about this whole exchange. (Okay, I stand corrected, I don’t love one thing: Logan’s first line.)

LOGAN:  Hi ho.
VERONICA: What did you say?
LOGAN: Oh, your uniform. Hi-ho, it’s off to work you go.
VERONICA: I guess that makes me Snow White.
LOGAN: You must be on your way up to see Mopey.
VERONICA: How’s he doing, Sleazy?
LOGAN: Wouldn’t know, he doesn’t come out of his room. Old Italian ladies don’t grieve like this. Boy, he must’ve really loved Meg.
VERONICA: Well, then there’s that other thing. You know, he can’t see his baby.
LOGAN: A baby? How’d that happen?

Here’s why I love it. Veronica keeps trying to one-up Logan in this snark battle while trying to defend Duncan, but in the end, Duncan is way beyond defending at this point. And Veronica just knows it (even if they’re trying to pull off a charade.) But the thing I love the most is that Veronica thinks this snark-off is about Logan trying to put her down, but actually he’s just trying to list all the shady things Duncan has done and how much of a crappy boyfriend he’s been to Veronica. And in the end, Veronica has no arguments to defend him because deep down she knows Logan’s right. 

That being said, in a show that is basically about mysteries, the fact that she keeps trying to defend Duncan and make excuses for him when he has time and again shit all over her might be the biggest mystery of them all.

3) “Time to fake the Donut.” The truest line ever spoken in this show.

4) So why exactly did they put up a show for Logan? I know that the next day we learn Logan has told Dick all about this but it’s not like he didn’t already suspect something happened between Kendall and Duncan (he hinted at it right in front of Veronica in 2x07) becAUSE IT FUCKING DID. I don’t care that the writers decided to drop that plot and turn it into a decoy: KENDALL HERSELF MENTIONED SHE HAD BEEN IN DUNCAN’S BED WHEN NO ONE WAS AROUND BUT DUNCAN AND HE DIDN’T FUCKING DENY IT. So it happened. It’s there, it’s canon. 

Moreoever, what was the point of this scene and having Logan see it and then spilling the beans to Dick if they were going to do the whole public break-up thing in front of the whole school? (Logan could’ve confirmed everything Veronica was talking about without having Kendall showering at Duncan’s)

Keep reading

mercipourleslivres  asked:

If you're still taking prompts... How about a modern AU where Baek Ah is friends with Soo and keeps trying to set her up with his grumpy older brother (So) because he thinks they'd be perfect for each other.

OKAY CAN I JUST SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS OMG OMG <333


           “He really is great guy. Trust me noona.” This was the second time this week that Baek Ah was badgering Hae Soo to go out with his step brother. This time he came as far as her workplace to annoy her.

           “I’m not ready for a committed relationship. I mean I just got out of two horrible ones.”

           “Okay, the first one was a bastard, and Wook doesn’t even count. I told you that the second you told me that he had a thing for you. And he was an awful rebound if I’m being really honest.” He was idly texting as he said this. What a pain in my ass this kid is.

           “So I was a bad judge of character. Don’t hold that against me.”

           “But I agreed to let you set me up on a blind date.”

           “Hey there, don’t do that to me. I introduced the girl of your dreams, and you’re here asking me to repay that debt? No, that debt is off the books now Baek. I mean come on, how many years are you and Woo Hee together now? Three? Four years?”

           “Four years and two months.” Soo narrowed her eyes at him.

           He cleared his throat. “But uh—who’s counting right? But seriously though, please just do it for me. This will be the first and last blind date I’ll ever make you go on, okay?” he made the okay gesture with his thumb and index finger.

           “Noona. Pretty please?” He was tugging at her apron, “I think that you two would be perfect for each other.”

           “Didn’t you say that he doesn’t get along with your family?”

           “My family doesn’t try. Even I was a jerk to him when I first met him. There’s honestly no one I trust more. I’d even go as far as to say that I’d trust him with my life.”

           “That is something,” she nodded. “Fine, but if this doesn’t work out I’m going to go tell Woo Hee all the dirty secrets I know about you.”

           Baek chuckled. “Good luck with that. Jokes on you because she already knows all of my secrets!”

~ ~ ~

Hae Soo was running late and show totally forgot the address of the place she was supposed to meet Baek’s brother at. She decided to call him and ask but it went to voicemail. She then tried Woo Hee’s number and she picked up.

“Can you please put Baek on the phone please.”

“Sure. Things aren’t going so well are they?”

“Not at all.” She heard Woo Hee holler at Baek to come get the phone.

“Hello?”

“Where was I supposed to meet this Song guy again?” she said, glancing at her watch.

“His name is So. And it’s the intersection with all the street food.”

“That was where he wanted this date to be?”

“Don’t ask me. I did say he was a bit peculiar.”

She hung up the phone, and was about to put it in her bag when she bumped into someone. Her poor phone then flew out of her hands and the screen cracked from the impact. She stared at it in disbelief.

She huffed in rage. The man standing in front of her hadn’t even bothered to apologize yet.

“Don’t you look before you—”

“Hae Soo sshi?” she had never even met this man before.

“How did you…” then it dawned on her. “Are you Baek Ah’s hyung-nim?”

“Yes. I’m sorry for not intruding myself properly, Baek had already shown me pictures of you last week. I guess I shouldn’t have said that either. That sounds creepy now that I’m saying it out loud.” He shuffled his feet.

That punk. How dare he show random men her picture?

“Also, do you need money to fix that phone? It was my fault for running into you. I truly am sorry.” He ran his hand through his hair.

Huh. He’s quite good looking, I’ll give him that. I guess Baek didn’t get that gene from their father, she thought.

“No need. You can just pay for today’s meal. Where are you taking me by the way?”

“I don’t like stuffy restaurants, but there is a teahouse near here that also serves dinner. It’s one of my favorite places to dine. Is that…okay? I mean we can go to someplace else if you’d like.”

Soo was taken by surprise. She had always lamented at the lack of appreciation for tea among the population today.

           I guess I’ve had worse dates, she thought.

           “That sounds…amazing actually. Lead the way.”

Dear Service dog “police”

Dear service dog “police”,
No, he is not a fake service dog and no, it is none of your business what my disability is. It is not your right to ask me why I have a service dog, and nor is it your right to tell me that I am A. too young to be disabled,B. too pretty to be disabled or C. don’t look disabled. The fact that so many SD handlers have gotten used to being attacked by fakes to the point that so many of us immediately assume another SD is a fake is ridiculous and needs to stop. When Hero makes a mistake and I immediately correct him, and he falls back into my side, you should not scoff and assume he is a fake SD or that I am not disabled. I have put over 200 hours of training into this dog and I expect him to behave but he occasionally does have a bad day or messes up and sniffs someone. I have never let him get away with it and immediately correct him. I do not want to be judged for how I look, the gear I choose to use, or his breed, because it is none of your business to know that. I am always willing to educate, but sometimes I just want to simply buy my bag of Apples and go on with my life. It is not your business to know that I have spent the last 2 years being bounced around to different Doctors and told different things, nor is it your business to know my diagnosis or feel sorry for me. My dog is my lifeline, and to automatically assume that I am a faker is rude, and ridiculous.
Get off your high horse and treat other SD handlers like they are human. You don’t know my situation. Leave me alone.
Sincerely,
NJ and Hero
PS: I am not condoning fake SD’s or inappropriate behavior such as barking ,attacking someone, or disturbing customers.

Studying a Heritage Language

Disclaimer: This article is not based on scientific research, but rather, my own experiences of “forgetting” my first language and relearning it as an adult.

Working up the courage to study your heritage language is tough. Motivating yourself to keep going is just as difficult as the studying itself.

Notice that I used the word “studying” instead of “learning.” You’ve probably already learned your heritage language to a certain extent. Maybe you can speak it, but can’t write it. Maybe you can understand it, but can’t speak it. Maybe you can only understand certain words and situations.

Here are my personal suggestions for studying a heritage language.

Know what you’re up against and do not let it discourage you
Since you’ll have to relearn a lot of things you thought you already knew, in a way, you’ll have it a bit harder than non-heritage learners. You might get a lot of “Why are you studying (language)?? You already know it….”

No matter how hard you study, there will always be foreigners who have a better proficiency level, but you can’t let that discourage you. Sometimes there will even be jerks who say “Wow, how come my (language) is so much better than yours even though you’re the one who is (ethnicity)?” Ignore those comments. Or try use them as motivation.

Let go of your negative associations with the language
I used to have a huge complex when it came to my heritage language. I associated it with a culture I couldn’t comprehend, making mistakes, being judged by my parents and relatives, and feeling stressed out. I realized that in order to learn, I had to let go of my emotional attachment to the language and approach it as if it were math or any other subject. This is much easier said than done, but if you can tell yourself “it’s just a language,” “it’s just a subject,” studying can become much easier.

Choose the right study environment
Find a study environment that helps you forget about those negative associations. Find a teacher who can cater to your needs (beginner reading/writing for advanced speakers, turning casual speech into formal speech, etc.). Don’t try to learn from your parents or spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend as this does not make for a stress free environment. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a pressure free environment (the pressure of grades can help some students excel), but it should not cause any emotional stress and you should never feel afraid of being judged.

Fall in love
I’m not saying you need to fall in love with a person, it’s just great to find something that encourages you and motivates you to learn. You were probably already told multiple times how advantageous studying your heritage language would be, but it’s so much easier to study when there’s something about the language that you think is fun. After all, many people who learn foreign languages are inspired to learn because of movies, TV shows, books, and other things that get them interested in the culture. Not because they “should” or “have to.”

Do you have any tips for studying a heritage language? What do you struggle with the most?