being intimate with men

i cannot believe shadowhunters actually had a scene where the start of the scene was literally just a queer couple making out. like. that’s where we started. the camera pans over them softly kissing each other. that’s the top of the scene. that’s the beginning. they were showing us two queer men being tender and intimate. casually. casually tender and intimate. because they’re in a relationship and that’s what you do. we’re meant to infer that they have regular makeout sessions. because they like kissing each other. just kissing. soft sweet gentle outdoor kissing. that was the opening of the scene. not the culmination the opening

Sheer Curtain

A photo series bringing awareness to bi/pan/queer erasure

“Being a bisexual transgender male, I’ve found, has challenges that most bisexual cis men wouldn’t experience. For me, there’s a fear that comes with being intimate with cis men that not having male genitalia is going to cause an issue. The problem is that when you start passing as a man, people forget that being trans means I don’t have female anatomy, so I’m constantly worried about “what happens when they take my pants off? are they going to be angry? will they think I tricked them? will they not care?” All of these thoughts are what kept me from seriously exploring my sexuality with cis men, because at the end of the day, I never know which men will be comfortable with my gender, which men will be angry at me for my gender, which men will “fetishize” me for my gender, and which men will hurt me for my gender. I feel limited within my own community because of an obvious transphobia that stems from other branches of the LGBTQ community and it makes dating one of the hardest parts of being transgender.  I came out as bi about 6 months into my transition. Once I started passing in public was when I really started to feel comfortable as a man. Finding comfort in my gender as a man allowed me to realize that I had convinced myself that I wasn’t attracted to men because I feared it would take away from my masculinity, but once I was comfortable in my masculinity I was really able to search and admit to myself that I’m very much attracted to men AS a man.”

- Liam 

We Are Visible 

anonymous asked:

hly shit so i was reading this buzzfeed "43 TOTALLY WEIRD sexual fantasies people ACTUALLY HAVE!" bs or something along those lines (i know i know horrible idea but i was running out of ways to procrastinate a bitch can only do so much) and like #9 was like, this girl whose fantasy was literally "being in a loving and intimate relationship with 2 bi men so i can watch while they have sex and satisfy each other bc thats not my thing! and maybe i join in!" LIKE....WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN LMFAO

Part 2.) [same buzzfeed anon] straight girls are just finding more and more creative ways to basically be a yaoi fangirl ever since the era that was 2012 gay ship fandom hell came and passed lmfao and of course she cant possibly fetishize gay relationships u guys shes ACE shes QUEER and not like those gross ALLOS. uuuuuuugghhhh

Mod f says:
This is sooo ugly lmfao! I cannot stand ppl who do this it’s so creepy. It’s the same thing as men who constantly talk about how hot two women together are. I hate it! Buzzfeed is such trash for publishing this stuff. I was in a relationship with this guy’s wife and he was always trying to get in on stuff and it was so uncomfortable and this is the same thing. Like no one wants you here go away.

  • chirrut/baze was lucasfilm testing the waters re: gay characters
  • these two men are depicted being intimate in the exact same ways, using the exact same gestures, as the principal straight couple, to the point where the two key scenes are almost mirrors of one another
  • the relationship was just vague enough to maintain plausible deniability but just explicit enough for the filmmakers’ intent to be clear 
  • the next time they do this will be soon, and it will be unmistakable

alex danvers never liked being intimate with men and so she figured she just wasn’t built for that kind of thing but then maggie sawyer walked into her life and helped alex realize she liked girls and she got scared but maggie made sure alex knew she didn’t have to navigate this new chapter of her life alone and now they’re dating and we’re probably getting cute romantic scenes in 2017 ho ho ho merry christmas

i dunno if this is going to be weirdly worded but i think part of the reason why these “alex is bi” headcanons upset me so much is because lesbians and bisexual women have such different experiences when it comes to discovering and understanding their sexuality.

lesbians and bisexual women both share the same experience of realising that they’re attracted to women, of course, but a big part of my journey as a lesbian was understanding my lack of attraction to men. 

alex talked specifically about how she was never comfortable being intimate with men and how she thought that there was something wrong with her- i understand that, i relate to that on every level and i hate seeing that specific aspect of her journey disregarded to fit into a certain headcanon.


shoutout to other lesbians watching supergirl and weeping at how relatable that scene was. alex talking about how she could never figure out her dating life because she didn’t like being intimate with men and just thought it wasn’t her thing but really she just didn’t know she liked women all along. and her not being able to even say the words because everything is so new to her??? i could not have asked for a better scene they just handled it PERFECTLY.

bluedragon-silence replied to your photookay.

why?

it reeks of fetishizing to me–a straight woman in a relationship w/ two bi men so she can watch them being intimate w/ each other? like i’m not saying there’s anything wrong w/ a straight woman dating two bi men but the dynamic of this relationship as it’s described here is deeply unsettling to me

sapphics replied to your photookay.

i know exactly what article you’re reading and: why

i’m not even reading it, someone i follow was just posting caps and i was like oh….wow lmao. i don’t even have the link, but i’m probably better off not knowing what the rest of this article looks like  

anonymous asked:

I have seen people discussing Alex's sexuality; some believe she is bisexual and others a lesbian. What are your thoughts? I love your analyses, btw.

First off, thank you! :D And second, I really don’t even see why this is even a discussion. If people are looking at canon they would 100% concluded that Alex is a Lesbian.

As we all know sexuality is a spectrum and an individuals’ sexuality is fluid on that spectrum. There is fluidity even with the classification of “lesbian”, “bisexual”, “heterosexual”, “asexual”, etc. I think Alex believed she fell somewhere on the asexual spectrum when she didn’t like being intimate with men. I never liked… Being intimate. I just… I don’t know. I thought maybe that’s just not the way I was built. You know, it’s just not my thing.”  It wasn’t until Maggie brought to light that Alex might be into girls that all of her repressed feelings towards being drawn to girls, in the more than just friends capacity, came slamming to the forefront of her.  When she came out to Kara she brought up her ex-best friend, Vicki. “I used to love sleeping over at her house. In her room… In her bed. And I think, uh… I think I felt something then, and it scared me.” Alex LOVED that intimacy, of sleeping over at Vicki’s house…in her bed. Alex told Kara that she shoved that memory so deep inside of her that it is like it never even happened; however many of these thoughts have now been brought to the surface after years and years of repression. “You know, I’m up all night, just thinking about [being attracted to women]. And if I’m being honest, you know, I realize that… Maybe I’ve had thoughts like this before.

Looking at canon, you will see that Alex did not feel a connection with men…something was missing. She used the words “NEVER LIKED” when she described being intimate with men. She used the word ‘never’ as in… NEVER. She even tells Kara that “[Realizing I like women] isn’t because I haven’t found the right guy.” She tried to be intimate with men, being physically and emotionally intimate, but she never liked it. As in, she didn’t even enjoy it a little bit. Alex then tells Kara about Vicki and how she loved the intimacy of sleeping over at Vicki’s house in her bed. Alex doesn’t feel a romantic intimate connection with men, like she does woman. We see Alex initiating physical intimacy with Maggie when she kisses her, and we see Alex’s brain short circuit when Maggie holds her hand. Then at the end of 2x08 we see Alex initiate a kiss again between her and Maggie. Alex WANTS the intimacy, not because she feels an obligation too. Now, she can still acknowledge that a guy a good looking or that he smells nice, but she doesn’t feel an authentic romantic connection to them. Bisexual girls would have felt they able to connect with men on a romantic intimate level and like it. Alex, doesn’t it. She never liked it, even after trying multiple times with different men. Alex being a lesbian isn’t because she hasn’t found “the right guy” to make her bisexual or realize she is straight. Alex is a lesbian because she is not romantically attracted to men, and never has.  

We are all looking for our representation in the media…but don’t erase that Alex is a lesbian who has now unrepressed all the internalized homophobia she was dealing with living in a heteronormative world. Her coming out story is so beautiful. It is about self-discovery, self-acceptance, and familial support. That it is about finding who you are and being happy with yourself after finally “getting you”. 

And…I’ll just attach one of my favorite Vines to conclude this ask. :) 

anyways there’s literally nothing about “i never liked being intimate” in reference to her experiences dating men, “i just thought that wasn’t how i was built” referring to relationships in general because she’d only ever dated men, and “i never thought is was that other thing” (the other thing being attraction to women) that leaves any room to interpret alex as bi, and the assertion that that’s even still a possibility stems from literally ignoring her canon arc as well as the very real experience lesbians typically have with compulsory heterosexuality, and y’all can fucking choke.