being fat and lazy

just letting y’all know:

In addition to being portrayed as lazy and fat, Garfield is also pessimistic, narcissistic, sadistic, cynical, sarcastic, sardonic, negative and smug. He enjoys destroying things, mauling the mailman, tormenting Odie, and kicking Odie off the table; he also makes snide comments

but hey, don’t take my word for it. *sips on this tea*

anonymous asked:

Being fat is unappealing, unhealthy, and usually a sign of laziness and lack of self discipline, and often causes inconveniences to others. Society praises fats for everything and God fucking forbid you say a word about it because they will do everything possible to destroy your life for it. No one else is held in high esteem just for being a fucking failure like fats. No other group of people with self imposed problems gets to be treated like they're god damned special like fats.

i was debating on whether or not i should just respond to this with a funny gif or give it a serious response. im responding because i think it’s important that my followers who are also overweight know that the message that you sent me is hateful and that they don’t have to tolerate it.

in all honesty, i think we all know you’re the guy from a few days ago and i guess you’re having a hard time letting the issue go. i could go on with an explanation like, “there are a variety of reasons why someone can be overweight”, and “you don’t know the circumstances”, but i know you don’t care. you’ve decided that a specific group of people should be ostracized and made fun of because of the way they look. why you decided that this matters so much to you, i don’t know or care.

but here’s the point of all of this: we have one life, we’re here for a very short time, and we want to make the most of it. so if fat people, or “fats” as you call us, want to live their lives to the fullest and feel beautiful and fall in love then they deserve it. life is too short to be miserable about something that can be manageable depending on the circumstances. you’re here, you were given life, so fucking enjoy it in the body you were given and don’t ever let assholes like this make you think you’re not worthy.

Creepypasta #1056: I'm A Janitor At A Fucking Creepy School

Length: Super long

Yeah I know, janitor, what the fuck. Sounds like the worst job in the world and to be honest, it really is horrible. The unimaginable things that I’ve had to clean up. How these little kids can expel such utterly vomit inducing things from their body is beyond me. I’ve pretty much been turned off from ever having kids ever. Unless I don’t have to clean up after them. Anyway my name is Brandon, I’m 28 years old and God… I don’t even want to admit this, even though you’ll probably never meet me but, I still live with my parents. It’s fucking brutal.

I take care of three to four schools a day in the Vancouver area. I start after school ends and finish around midnight. Sometimes I go a little later depending on my speed and the volume of the task at hand. Usually I clean up rooms n bathrooms (ugh), mopping and vacuuming all that boring shit. Usually it’s pretty uneventful but recently some really weird things have been happening.

There’s this one elementary school I just started cleaning. I won’t say their name for obvious reasons. It’s the final school I hit at the end of the night. I usually get there at around 10pm and work till midnight or a little later. This school is pretty small, but there was a weird feeling to it, a strange energy. I dunno. Like it’s been through things. Seen things. I hate going there. I used to bring a buddy along but he stopped helping me last week. He wouldn’t tell me why. He just stopped showing up. He won’t pick up his phone or text me back, nothing. It was so much better when he was working with me, but now I’m back alone.

Nothing much has happened to me at the school, except weird vibes. I always feel like someone is watching me. There are parts of the school that get cold for no reason. I constantly see things moving in the corner of my eye. It’s all really fucking creepy but nothing substantial has actually happened to me, nothing really tangible. That is, until tonight. I’m sitting in my car right now, at some park far away from the school and I can’t stop shaking. I’m typing this all up on my phone - I don’t want to forget what happened.

I fucking hope I’m not going crazy.

So I got to the school a little late. It was about 11 pm. The last school had a huge mess in the girls bathroom. There was shit on the ceiling. I don’t know how that’s even possible. I start by going through every classroom, vacuuming and cleaning up spills and stuff. It’s right at then end of summer here, so it’s still pretty warm.

I was in the last room at the end of a long hallway. It was kind of a strange room as it was the only one without windows. It felt different than the other rooms. It was covered up with some ugly yellowish wallpaper that was pretty worn and tearing. You could see the wall underneath it was dark and grimy. All the other classrooms had painted walls but this was the only one with this weird wallpaper. 

I was on all fours scrubbing this stupid fucking juice box stain out of the carpet when I heard what I thought was a child’s voice. I took my ear buds out and turned my ear to the hallway silently waiting for another sound. Nothing. I figured I was just tripping balls as I had smoked quite the fatty before I got here (not sure why, I think it helps calm me down). 

So I get back to the stupid fucking stain, scrubbing like a mother fucker. Fuck it, I could care less. I stand up and walk towards the door when all the hair on my body stands up. I look around and realize that all the chairs are on top of the desks. They’re standing on all fours, like they would if the were on the floor. And I know one hundred percent that they were all on the floor a second ago. I haven’t vacuumed yet, I didn’t put any of them on the desks. And if I did I would never stand them like that. 

Keep reading

I lost 150 pounds, quit smoking, became vegetarian, stopped eating sugar, exercised every day … and three years later I was diagnosed with diabetes. So your little “you get diabetes by eating sugar and/or being lazy and fat” is a bunch of bullshit.

A story, a love story

Pairing: unrequited Grif/Simmons
Word count: 1,637
Prompt: from @goodluckdetective: “I want to tell you a story. A love story" “Does it have a happy ending” “They never do”
Summary: Set after 15x06. Caboose and Simmons can’t sleep, so Caboose begs Simmons to tell him a story.

It was midnight.

Not that Simmons could tell, underwater. His helmet probably had the right time, but he’d had to sync it with Sarge, and Sarge didn’t obey daylight savings time. Stranger still, he didn’t even use military time. But it was darker than usual, and no one else seemed to be awake, and so even if it wasn’t midnight exactly, it meant the same thing: Simmons was alone.

Keep reading

100 Followers

When I started this blog, I didn’t expect it to ever get this many followers, especially this fast! There is quite a few people I would like to thank for this. I would like to, of course thank anyone and everyone who has ever liked my posts, reblogged my posts (especially the namesake explained posts, I work really hard on those) or followed me. Special thanks to @ihatejonarbuckle for being one of the main reasons why my posts ever get traction in the first place!

But I cant be a Garfield Blog without making the neccesary thanks to the strip and franchise, so here we go! I’d like to thank Garfield of course for being such a fat, lazy cat. I’d like to thank Odie for doing Odie things. I’d like to thank Jim Davis for creating all of human life in 6 days (he rested on a Monday). I’d like to extend appreciation towards the ridicule of Jon Arbuckle (thanks is too strong a word to exist in a sentence with Jon Arbuckle). I’d like to shame Liz Wilson for going out with Jon Arbucke, but also thank her for being a generally decent human being. I’d like to thank Pookie for always being there for Garfield, like I wish I could. I’d like to thank Nermal for being the most vain and annoying character. Id like to extend my sympathies towards Lymans family for he has yet to be found after so many years. I’d like to thank Arlene for being Garfields… What is she to Garfield, is it love interest, are they just friends, idk. I’d like to thank Vitos pizzeria for keeping Garfield stocked with Italian meals and confectionaries. I’d like to thank lasagna, just lasagna, for being Lasagna. I’d like to thank Hercules, the Mexican Chihuahua debuting in episode 3 from the Garfield Show (2011) for being a blatant stereotype. A Curveball thanks go to the Air Bud franchise for being painfully mediocre movies with lots of early 2000s B movie charm and massive ironic appeal. Avoid Air Buddies like the plague though. I’d like to thank the grandmother model and the low poly fish model from the Garfield Show. I’d like to thank everyone who showed up to the Garfield Show stream. I’d like to thank you, if you made it this far and were genuinely reading all of this tripe. I’d like to thank Wikipedia for having a page listing all of the relevant and not so relevant Garfield characters so I can waste my life thanking half of them individually for an internet joke. And last but not least I’d like to thank Doc Boy for…. I genuinely don’t have a stance on Doc Boy, I mean he’s related and makes fun of Jon Arbuckle, but Jon makes fun of him by calling him Doc Boy instead of Doc. Is he just defending himself against the tyrannies of Jon Arbuckle or does he carry the same evil blood? A question for the ages…

Also like, thanks to my family and friends I guess? they’re important…

Anywho, thanks all, I’ll be sure to continue taking internet jokes about obese felines way too far!

anonymous asked:

WHEN WILL YOU STOP BEING LAZY AND FINALLY DO SOME COMIC, YOU LAZY FAT WEIRDO?

DID YOU JUST ASSUME I’M FAT? BY HELLFIRE BE PURGE-sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist… Now about the question…

Yes, I AM making the next one, it’s just I got out the hospital a few days ago with 4 screws, 2 metal plates, and 11 stitches in my drawing hand and a gypsum over it. I am sorry I’m drawing as fast as I can but it’s… difficult. I didn’t want to post about this, since I don’t want to bring the bad vibes there, but I thought I owe you guys an explanation.

But hey, I’m working on the next one, here is a background I drew for it:

Venezuela’s hyperinflation, a visual representation.

So, as I’ve talked in the past, the Venezuelan currency, the Bolivar Fuerte - BsF (strong Bolivar, in reference to the father of the country, Simon Bolivar) is effectively useless as cash these days, how useless you ask? Well, let’s see:

On top we have the lovely national currency, 50 100 BsF bills, for a total of 5.000 BsF, 100 50 BsF bills, for a total of another 5.000 BsF, and finally, 100 20 BsF bills for a total of 2.000 BsF, giving us a grand total of 250 bills and 12.000 BsF.

Keep in mind, currently those three bills are the highest valued available on the market these days, and it took me two hours to get them all from a bank.

Now, that’s quite the big number, both in bills and total value it seems, but now let me direct you to the three bills at the bottom: That’s colombian currency, the Peso

These three are also the highest valued ones in Colombia, 10.000, 20.000 and 50.000 pesos, for a grand total of 80.000 pesos (part of my “shit finally hit the fan” emergency fund), and yes, that’s a lot of 0′s, but don’t let that fool you, as that currency is one of the most stable ones in latin America.

Anyway, here’s the kicker: all those venezuelan bills from earlier, those 250 bills? They are effectively worth the same as the two smaller colombian ones, the bigger 50.000 Pesos bill being worth almost twice as all that venezuelan cash.

(fat lazy cat for reference)

“But Enrique”, you say, “this is all fine and dandy, but that does that mean in actual world-class currency?” Well my friend, all those venezuelan bills? the 12.000 BsF that took me two hours to take out of the bank? They’re worth

12 US Dollars 

or 

11 Euros

(rounded up)

And this, my friends, is why Venezuelan currency is worth less that the paper it’s printed on, but hey socialism/communism works, right?

PS: They internet states they’re actually worth more, but that’s because the internet uses the official government currency exchange, AKA the one no one but government officials can use these days.

PS2: Actually, there’s an even bigger colombian bill, the 100.000 pesos one, but I have yet to meet someone that has even seen it, as it was recently introduced and it’s used mostly for big bank transactions. 

And I’ve seen people pissed at how everyone reacted to Grif in that scene, but honestly? Everything was so in character, not just what they said, but how and why they said it. Wash getting on him for being late, Simmons insinuating he only thinks about food, Tucker calling him selfish- those are all things they’ve been joking about with Grif for years. And he normally takes pride in those things- being the fat one, the lazy one, the “too-cool-for-this” guy*. But from the moment he came into this scene, Grif was the one out of character**. He didn’t snipe back at them, he didn’t rebut with some other insult, and most importantly, he didn’t change his mind. That’s what they were all expecting him to do, because that’s what he’s always done- he bitches about new missions and new responsibilities, but goes along with it eventually. But he doesn’t. He flips the script on them, and when they try and get him to conform and play along, he refuses. Point is, everyone was in character in that scene, which it part of what makes it so sad.

*Did he act like this because he truly didn’t care, or because (as most victims of bullying would know) when everyone gangs up on you it’s better to agree/make a joke of it/ pretend you don’t care because you don’t want to seem weak? More on this story at 11.

**Let me be clear by saying that this out-of-characterness was, ironically, perfectly in character. As in, that was an entirely realistic way for Grif to react in this situation. I’m not hating on Nicolosi’s writing in this scene- I think it’s some of the most in depth this show’s ever had.

Anonymous: A fanfic of Shu and Subaru where they are arguing over Subaru wearing a wedding gown (lol idk)

(Kyaaa~ I had so much fun with this! I hope everyone likes my work, it’s really simple and it really isn’t funny. Enjoy~ (ノ・ェ・)ノ )

_______________________________________________________________________

“I FUCKING SWEAR, YOU BLOND PIECE OF SHIT. IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER, I SWEAR I WILL SHOVE THIS TIARA UP YOUR FAT LAZY ASS-”

“Tch. You’re being unnecessarily noisy, woman- oops.”

“WOMAN?! THE FUCK?! YOU GOTTA BE SHITTING ME! PREPARE YOUR ANUS, IDIOT. THIS WOMAN IS ABOUT TO SPRINKLE ALL THIS GLITTER ON YOUR DEAD BODY. I MEAN, WHY THE HELL ARE WE STILL HERE?!”

“Weren’t you listening? The old man said that he needed a wedding dress. He said that you were the closest size so here we are.”

“THAT STILL DOES NOT EXPLAIN WHY I NEED TO WEAR IT! THIS GOWN IS ITCHY ON THE SIDES AND THE FRILLS SCRATCH MY LEGS, GODDAMNIT! GET IT OFF ME!”

“You wouldn’t shut up about the ten others you wore. Why not just accept the one you’re wearing and pose for the camera so the old man can shut up?”

“THOSE TEN WERE FUCKING JOKES, SHU. NO SELF-RESPECTING WOMAN WOULD WEAR ANY OF THEM ON THEIR WEDDING! JUST LET ME TAKE THIS UGLY ASS THING OFF, IDIOT!”

“Are you sure? That gown shows off your curves and can give anyone a clear view of your smooth back and shoulders. It’s perfect for you.”

“… Eh? WHAT THE HELL?! YOU SON OF A BITCH! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST DRAG ME HERE AND-”

“Heh. You actually look very cute, princess.”

Subaru glared at his elder brother and ground his teeth as a dark blush crept up his pale skin. “That’s it, you bastard! HERE’S THE FUCKING TIARA! I’M NOT A PRINCESS, GOT IT?! IF I SEE YOUR STUPID ASS FACE AGAIN, I’LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS! DON’T FUCKING COME NEAR ME!”

The blond calmly watched as the albino had a hissy fit. His brother ripped the eleventh wedding dress of the day and threw the glass slippers at him.

“He may not be a princess,” he mumbled as he admired the dozens of photos of Subaru in a gown, “but he’s one hell of a drama queen.”

“I FUCKING HEARD THAT, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!”

anonymous asked:

can you write some meanspo, specifically about how im the fat friend

((Sure can do.))


Look at you. Disgusting. Gross. Look down at those horrid thighs and stomach that you have. 

Do you really want to continue to look like that? Or God-forbid…worse?

Or do you want to be thin? skinny? perfect? 

The latter sounds much better, i’m sure you’ll agree with me when I say that. 
Aren’t you tired? Of being the fat friend in your group of friends? The one who’s always last choice? The one no one really pays attention or listens too? The one who eats like a fucking pig?

If you are tired and done with being the fat friend, then get off that lazy and fat ass of yours and do a long, intense workout. 200 jumping jacks, right now. Do it. 

How much did you eat today, you pig? Not anything over your calorie limit, I hope. If you feel ‘hungry’ then look in the mirror. Do you see yourself? That fat face, that stomach bulge, those fat, horrible thighs and flappy arms? 

Don’t you want to be beautiful? Skinny? 

If you don’t get a hold of yourself, then you will NEVER be the skinny, beautiful, thin friend. You could be so much better than all your other friends; you have the ability to change it all around; you can be the first choice, the one people love to listen to, the one people love to hang out with. 

God, can you imagine all the compliments you’ll receive once you’re the thinnest, most beautiful friend? 

Maybe then people will actually love you more. But that dream of yours of being the skinny friend won’t ever happen, unless you stop finding excuses and letting your fat ass consume so many calories and all the icky, sickening fat. 

So stop being a fat fucking pig; become the beautiful you that you always longed to be. 

martyslittleusedblog  asked:

I think, originally, there were going to be these green blob creatures instead of humans in Wall-E. Maybe they could be in Wasteland?

My only problem with this is the spladooshes essentially already fit the role of fat, lazy beings that can’t even get up. (Come to think of it, how do they get around?!)

“If everyone in LOGH were on tumblr” headcanons collection

(based on a LINE conversation I had with @gasexplosionatthescalpelfactory

Should you visit the tumblr of LOGH characters, here’s what you may find there.

Bittenfeld :
Pro wrestling gifs. Schwarz Lanzenreiter fleet (spamming a lot with it), pictures of tiger (yes, including cute baby tigers, with #awww as tag).Daily spamming about how he hates a certain person we don’t even need to name. Taking selfies on the bridge of the Konigstiger, or on special occasions (#me and muller at mein Kaiser’s wedding #he was so godly omg #also Oberstein You d*** )

Annerose :
Cooking recipes and glorious food porn pictures (occasionnally reblogged by Reinhard, implying that’s what he wants his big sis to make this one dish in particular). Kircheis liking every post. Frederica reblogging the recipes. Occasionnally sending asks to Annerose for cooking tips. Annerose answers with videos « So today I’m answering a question from…Frederica…Again !^_^’ ) ».

Eva :
She’s not on tumblr but on pinterest.

Eisenach :
Created a tumblr and made a slew of one text post, the last being « checkmate ». Then abandons his blog.

Mittermeyer :
Reblogs social issue stuff. Reblogs recipes from Annerose when he thinks it might interest Eva. Later on, baby products reviews and tips. Some selfies with Reuenthal, who isn’t really paying attention and stands in the background looking good.

Reuenthal :
Posting fancy alcohol and photography. Occasionnally female models, or reblogging the selfies he took with Mittermeyer. Vagueposting.

Poplan:
Women, ladies, models, reblogging/answering the longest quarell thread with Schenkopp. Reblogging/answering the longest quarell thread with Dusty (who ends up ignoring him). Reblogs wishes his followers address him on Treizember 36th.

Linz :
Holds a blog for the activity of the Rosenritter. Pics from the training sessions or equipment. Also posting doodles he makes and portraits of the people around him.

Reinhard :
Alternating intense blogging and total inactivity. Uploading some pics of the Brunhilde. Reblogging the recipes from his sister only to tag it with #want #heavy breathing.  Vagueblogging and/or complaining about things like « Yet another party I don’t want to go » « I hate my hair today, I hate Flegel’s everyday » « Fraülein got a cold and I got to read all this fanmail on my own…One looks like Bitten’s handwriting. I guess that’s just my imagination » « Hair looks shitty again today. I don’t even bother to go out. Will pretend I have fever. Yeah. Let’s do it. ». « No battle today. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED ». Reblogs a vaguepost from Reuenthal and gets paranoid about it : « IT WAS ABOUT ME WASN’T IT ». Reuen makes it worse : « idk maybe ». Mittermeyer browses his dashboard and sees Reuenthal flaming. Screws his tablet’s screen in rage. Aside of the fight is a massive angry vagueposting on mein Kaiser’s blog.

Benemunde :
Hateblog against Annerose. Tons of aristocrats following/reblogging her stuff. Reinhard finds out. Vaguepost diarrhea on mein Kaiser’s blog, flourished of creative insult against the Annerose hatedom members. Benemunde replies by screenshoting Reinhard’s post and mocking it. Flegel reblogs « LMAO, IT’S THE BLOND BRAT »

Meanwhile on Kircheis’s blog :
« my dad grew a new orchidea specie » [with a picture of said flower]. Annerose reblogs.  Animal Crossing related stuff. The quiet life of Siegfried Kircheis.

Oberstein :
Opens a blog, puts a dalmatian as the avatar and a black and white theme. Not a single post in it.

Mecklinger :
Poems, art reproductions, his own creations. Rare but existing : posts of men with creative moustaches.

Julian :
Posts pictures of his cat being fat and lazy. Tries to chose the angle so he doesn’t photograph all the stuff Wenli hasn’t cleaned in the flat.

Yang :

Imagines he could make a blog full with interesting history content, pictures, commentaries. But is to lazy to even make the blog.

Mashengo :

Would have a blog with deep contents, sometimes hard to understand.

Hilda :

Has a secret blog no one seems to knows about. She is A HUGE ANIME FAN. Especially a Versailles no Bara Fan. Used to have sleepovers at Baroness Westphalen’s and binge watched the episodes. Posts proud pictures or shelves weighed down under a ton of manga and dvds. Reblogging artworks, fan art, gifs, ANYTHING. May have a crush on Reinhard because he looks like Oscar.
One days face a dilemna : « I just found out my crush watches Berubara when pretending to work – I knew this hairstyle change was too suspicious OMG SHOULD I TELL HIM I LIKE THE SERIES TOO. ».

Meanwhile on Reinhard’s blog : « OH NO SHE KNOWS NOW. »

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Have a LOGH character tumblr headcanon ? Share it too :D