being apart from someone

Off Colors

‘Off colors’, ‘mistakes’ born from lesser Kindergartens and random ‘defective’ runts, fugitives, traitors, rebels and unnatural freaks.

It’s obvious that the totalitarian Gem Homeworld’s strictly intolerant standards that deem those considered aberrant and therefore abhorrent ‘lesser’ citizens closely mirror our own society’s system of opressing those who don’t fit the ideal ‘norm’. Humans, though we are born in a wide range of shapes and sizes and unique characteristics, must fit into a very narrow set of physical traits in order to be accepted. We’re expected to conform even in coloration, and disconcertingly, we live in a reality that deems those of the ‘wrong’ shade to be ‘wrong’ as people. By being unable to perform tasks that we are ‘supposed’ to be able to perform, we’re considered leeches on society, undeserving of even the right to live. Humans can form certain types of bonds with one another that our cultures find despicable. We do it all the time, and are often killed for it.

I find it interesting to note that the world of Steven Universe paints a completely unsubtle picture of the qualities that make our own world harsh and unforgiving for the outliers of society, and it makes it a central point to always take the side of the oppressed. The heroes of the story are like us: gems who suffered and were broken, gems who are ‘sentimental’ and ‘unnaturally’ attached to other gems and risking shattering in order to stay together, gems without the magical abilities they were designed to be able to accomplish and are therefore judged to be developmentally inferior, gems who ‘came out wrong’ and gems who cannot stand to remain in their assigned places in a degrading system.

And the show notes, time and time again, that the system is wrong. These outliers deserve to live freely, unoppressed and considered valid individuals despite their differences. And the outliers fight back- that’s the whole plot. Innocent people are in danger because the system is flawed, and it’s up to the heroes to figure out how to bring it down.

This matters to me because I’m an outlier too. I see myself, with my disabilities, as like a peridot with no weapon or a Padparadscha sapphire who cannot predict the future. I see myself, an LGBT individual, as someone at risk of being pulled apart from those I yearn for by an intolerant culture. I see myself and all of my undesirable physical characteristics as like a gem that emerged from her hole looking too different to condone. I see myself in the characters that are searching for empowerment, and determined to defend themselves from the enemy that would deem their lives worthless.

If I were a gem, I’d be an off-color.

And I’m proud of it.

The best part about Ken asking “you really think you’ll miss your opportunity to kill Dirk Gently by eating some human food?” is the fact that he had to specify human food.

Like.

What the fuck was Bart feeding him while they were on the road?

Beat 1 Interview with Matty

Zane: Do we really need to do introductions, we’ve surpassed that. For those people listening all around the world right now, we capture Matt Healy from the brilliant band The 1975 at a magical time, at a time of transition and of celebration because everything you’ve achieved thus far as a band. Getting towards the end of this touring cycle at some point this year, and feeling like you’ve achieved on album number two. Congratulations man. 

Matty: Thanks man. 

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Jax Teller - Hots for Teacher

Requested:

Being unser’s daughter and a school teacher who is Jax Old Lady and who is also teased by Chibs and Bobby for being super bossy toward crows that try to make a move on Jax.

((Mixed three requests together because they worked))
_______

It was no secret that you weren’t a normal teacher. You didn’t dress like a lot of other teachers would dress. Know you were what the students and parents would call the hot teacher. Mostly because instead of wearing doll pencil skirts and suits you wore bright red lipstick with your hair normally up in a mess and what others would call stripper styled shoes with stylist skirts and tight tops.

Your father Uncer who you had a very good relationship with often wondered if that’s why you had caught the attention of the vice president of Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club.

You had been Jax’s old lady a few years after Tara had left him heart broken and alone. You were there to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and glued them back together again.

But apart from being a big softy with the man you were someone who other women didn’t want to double cross when it came to your old man. There were crows after crows that always try to get with him but you would quickly shut that down by showing your Authority and exactly what you thought of the crows to be.

And it was obviously the fact that they would always and forever be just crows.

“Make sure you’ve got them clean before tomorrow and the bed is made. I won’t accept anything less. And it’d best be done correctly.”

You told one of the newest crows who made the mistake of trying to get with your old man. Instead you had given her the responsibility of washing his clothes and cleaning his room along with taking care of whatever else needed to be done around the club. The Crow quickly found out that this was as close as she was ever going to get to Jax so she dealt with it.

“Damn girl could you be any harsher?”

Bobby asked chuckling slightly from his spot at the bar as he watched you sipping the red wine out of your glass as you sat at one of the many saloon style tables and graded papers.

“Kitten’s got claws.”

You heard Chibs lean over and whisper causing both men to chuckle.

“Laugh it up boys, but unless I show them whose in charge around here, they’ll be trying to get something they’ll never have in the first place.”

You said pointing your pen toward the men. They chuckled again, making the comment of you sounding like Gemma.

This time it was your turn to chuckle.

i rarely draw full figures and felt like having a practise. plus i’m forever trying to get my head around their height/size difference.

also still working on the prompt from earlier about n&c’s early days! that’ll be up tomorrow :) (nick and charlie are from solitaire by alice oseman)

Meltdown

Tyler Joseph X Reader

Request: ONE WHERE READER IS EMOTIONALLY ABUSED BY HER BOYFRIEND & 1 DAY JUS CRACKS AND HITS HER AND SHE IS FUCKED UP BOUT IT AND RUNS AWAY FOR A WHILE AND EVERY1’S LOOKIN FOR HER AND TY FINDS HER HIDDEN IN AN ABANDONED PLACE AND HE’S TELLING HER TO GO BACK BUT SHE TELLIN HIM TO LEAVE AND JUST SNAPS AT HIM & THEY GET IN AN ARGUMENT AND SHE BREAKS DOWN AND TELLS HIM EVERYTHING AND HE TAKES HER TO HIS PLACE AND IT GETS KINDA ROMANTIC AND THEY CONFRONT HER BOYFRIEND BUT SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS HEHEHE

WARNINGS: abuse – emotional and physical, depression/anxiety, bruises/cuts, self-blame, blood.

Word Count: 3,778

A/N: I’m warning you guys now that this is going to be pretty heavy, it may be a little over exaggerated as well. It’s also uber long! I really hope you guys enjoy though! I apologize for the ending if you don’t like it!!! But in all honesty this is how I wanted to end it from the beginning of the fic. So I really hope you guys enjoy. And please please PLEASE if you are in an abusive relationship, GET HELP.

Here’s the thing. You and Tyler had a thing before twenty one pilots got so big. You couldn’t have been any happier for Tyler and Josh. They deserved the whole entire world and more. You couldn’t help but feel jealous, however. The Clique was getting more time with them than you were. The two of you sat down one day and discussed what would happen between the two of you. And it came down to the both of you parting ways. Tyler thought it was best for your mental health, as well as his. Being apart from someone you love for so long can really take a toll on someone’s mind and body. It was hard for you and Tyler, but you knew it was for the better. Sure, you guys would still be friends, best friends in fact. But could you live with being only his friend? The thought killed you but you knew Tyler could get any girl he ever wanted.

He was the most special soul in the world. Not only was he talented, but he was kind and caring. He had a sense of humor, and he had a laugh and smile that could light up the entire universe. It was bittersweet for you to see him leave on tour, and not being able to give him a goodbye kiss. So, after he left, you thought it was best for you to move on.

You met Justin through a mutual friend at a party one night, and the two of you hit it off immediately. Everything about him seemed so perfect to you, and it almost seemed like he wasn’t a real person, but he was, and he had feelings for you. It took him some convincing for you to actually start dating him, but when you did, it was great. He was always the gentleman that you knew him as. He was your knight in shining armor. Then one day, something snapped in him, and all of a sudden, he became as close as a stranger to you.

You thought you knew him. You thought that he could be the one when you started dating him other than Tyler, of course. But all of that turned to shit. You blamed yourself for the way he was acting. You always told yourself that you weren’t being the best girlfriend in the world. You always justified every single thing he ever did to you. No matter what people told you, you would lie and say that he had a rough night and apologized for it later. It never got violent. At least, until recently.

The Night Before

“(Y/N)? Are you home?” you heard your boyfriend scream from down the stairs of your home with him. You inhaled deeply and wiped your eyes quickly, running downstairs as fast as you could.

You greeted him with a smile.

“Hey babe.” you say with the most loving tone you could muster. “How was your day?” you ask as you grab his stuff from his hands, putting it all away.

Justin sighs and sits on the couch, ignoring your question. Justin started cracking his knuckles and all you could do was stand there and watch, being as careful as you could when you approached him.

“Can I get you a beer or something…? Are you hun-”

“Can you just shut the hell up, please? Your voice is starting to give me a massive headache… Jesus Christ, woman…” he said relatively loud.

You flinched and nodded a little bit, getting up from the couch, walking to the fridge. You grabbed a beer and opened it, walking back over to your boyfriend, handing him the beer gingerly. He takes it from you harshly, taking a swig and closing his eyes.

You sigh quietly to yourself and grab your phone, deciding to text Tyler to check up on him during the tour.

“Hey Ty! How’s the tour going?”

“Hey (Y/N)! It’s good… Josh and I have both been really tired but it’s so rewarding.”

You smile down at your phone. Justin notices and grabs it from you.

“What the hell, (Y/N)? I thought I told you that you can’t talk to this bitch ever again. He’s not your boyfriend. I am. Remember? You whore!” he screams.

“Justin, I’m sorry. I… I was just checking up on him during his tour. It’s nothing, I swear. Please.”

“What, am I not good enough for you? Huh? Is that it?” Justin responds, his voice growing louder and louder with each syllable that came out of his mouth.

“No of course not! You’re everything I could’ve asked for!” you shout back at him.

“Don’t talk back to me! You don’t EVER raise your voice at me. Is that understood? Well? Is it?”

You simply nod your head and look away.

Justin sighs and rubs his temples, handing you your phone back.

“I’m sorry… It’s been a rough day at work. Please don’t be angry with me.” he says quietly as he scoots over towards you, pulling you in giving you a kiss.

You smile slightly.

“It’s fine… I get it.” you say lovingly. “I think I’m going to go to bed though. I’m exhausted.” you say as you start to walk up the stairs.

“Okay, babe… Oh… by the way. I’m serious about not talking to Tyler again. He’s not good for you. Can you promise me that…? Please…? I don’t want to feel like I’m fighting him for my own girlfriend.”

You stop walking and pause before responding. You shut your eyes tightly and clench your fist.

“Yeah babe… I promise…” you say quietly.

“I love you.” he responds. “Thank you.”

“Love you too…” you say quickly before running to your room. You quickly text Tyler, before deleting the thread.

“Hey Ty… I’m so sorry… Justin doesn’t want me to talk to you… And I’m so fucking scared of him… I’m scared I’ll lose him… So please… just… forget about me, yeah?”

Tyler’s POV

I couldn’t believe my eyes. (Y/N) had to be kidding, right? We’ve gone through so much together and this prick gets to call the shots? Did she realize how much he was hurting her emotionally? Or was she just in that state where she was so scared she did everything he said and convinced herself that she really did love him?

I threw my phone at the wall and sat down on the couch, screaming into my hands. I had to go back to check on her. What if he hit her? I had to get (Y/N) out of there. I had to. I feel like it’s my duty. I drove her to this madness. I left her! I made her move on.

The last time I saw her she was glowing. Her smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was even more beautiful than seeing everyone at one of our concerts, singing along to one of our songs. Her eyes sparkled with love, her voice full of delight. I wondered now if that’s how it would be when I came back. We had one more show for this leg of the tour, and I honestly didn’t think I could make it through.

The thought of her crying made me upset. The thought of having this asshole Justin using her and abusing her like she was something that was meant to be abused made me fume. How could anyone want to hurt someone as precious as she?

Josh looked at me and sat down, patting my back.

“Is everything okay? I heard something break and then I heard you scream… I got worried.”

I leaned back and looked up at the ceiling.

“No, it’s not okay… (Y/N) basically told me that she couldn’t ever talk to me again because of her dumb boyfriend… the one who abuses her… emotionally. And maybe now physically. How would I know? She said she’s scared of him, Josh… I need to go back there and I need to make sure she’s okay. She’s in this relationship because of me… This is on me.”

“Okay… look our last show is tonight. After the show we’ll fly straight home and you can go see her. If you need help with anything, just call me. Alright?”

I sighed deeply and nod, getting up to play our final show. The show right before I had a meltdown.

Your POV

That night, you were laying in bed next to Justin, silently crying to yourself. Thoughts were flooding your head, wondering if this was ever going to change. You tried to convince yourself that things would change. And eventually you did. You started coming up with scenarios in your head of how things would be once you became the girlfriend you were supposed to be. After hours of crying silently to yourself, you finally fell asleep. And you had a nightmare… one that you hoped wouldn’t become real.

The Night Of

The day had gone by quickly, but for the most part, it went smoothly. You and Justin had gone out to the bar with some friends. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, so you started to forget about everything that had ever happened. You didn’t feel like you were in any type of danger, emotionally or physically. It had honestly been a really fun night. Laughter had filled the air around everyone, dancing ensued, and smiles were being thrown left and right. Soon after, however, things would go from amazing to horrifying.

As the both of you reached the house, you could see a familiar car parked in the front of your house. You pushed a drunk Justin inside the house, closing the door behind you, frowning when you saw Tyler get out of the car.

“I thought you had a show to do…” you say quietly.

“That was last night. I came to check on you.” he responds, walking closer to you.

“Look, Ty, I was serious about that message. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here right now.” you say, the anxiety building up inside you as you could hear Justin screaming your name. You rub your arm and look away from Tyler as he steps up onto the porch in front of you.

“(Y/N)… I don’t think you’re serious… And I really think you need to breakup with this Justin guy… he’s abusing you… emotionally. I don’t know if you can see it but that light you had the last time I saw you, is gone. And I want you to be happy again. Not scared. Please…” Tyler says as he reaches for you.

“I need you to leave, please.” you say, tears starting to form.

“I’m not going to leave, (Y/N)! I can’t!” he shouts back at you.

You back into the door, surprised when it opened and you were dragged inside, the door being slammed shut and locked afterwards.

Tyler frowned and called for your name.

(Y/N)!” he pounded on the door.

Justin grips your arm tightly slamming you up against the wall.

“I thought I told you to never speak with him again!” he slurs into your face, the smell of alcohol burning your nose.

“I didn’t ask him to come, Justin… I promise.” you plead as you try to push him off your frail body.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” he screams into your ear.

You frown and shut your eyes, the tears welling up, threatening to spill out.

“Please, Justin… you’re hurting me…” you whimper.

“Oh… I’m hurting you…? You’re hurting me you slut! What have you been doing, huh? Sleeping with him behind my back? Is that it? What, I couldn’t satisfy your needs?”

“No! That’s not it at all! I swear I told him to back off! Please!” you beg.

“I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!” he yells one more time before raising his hand, slapping you right across the cheek, leaving a red mark where his hand hit.

You instantly grip your cheek as the tears finally fall from your eyes. You get up slowly and look at him, fear overtaking your body. You quickly run upstairs and lock the door to your room as Justin follows suit, pounding on the door.

“Babe, I’m sorry! Please. It was a mistake. (Y/N)!” he shouts as he keeps banging on the door.

You quickly grab a bag and throw as much stuff as you can into it, finally climbing through the window, running as far away as you can. Tears were blurring your vision and you instantly shut the world out. You ran across streets, dodging oncoming cars, finally stopping when your lungs and body couldn’t take any more.

You slowly sat down under a big tree in the woods by a river. You curled up into a ball and broke down, not knowing where you went wrong. You kept blaming yourself for everything he had ever said to you, and you blamed yourself when he hit you. You knew you had done something wrong when you texted Tyler in the first place, but right now you would give anything to be in his loving arms.

It felt like you had been in the woods for forever. Thoughts flooded your head making you numb, and you grabbed the rubberband that was on your wrist. You kept pulling it and pulling it, eventually drawing blood. But you needed to feel something. You grabbed a lighter you put in your bag and ignited it, putting your hand over the flame to see how long you could hold it there before receding.

I don’t understand why everything I adore

Takes a different form when I squint my eyes

Why did Justin change? Was it because he was in a relationship with you? Were you the reason he became like this?

All these questions flooded your head and all you could think of was how everything lead back to you. Everything was your fault. The reason you and Ty broke up. The reason Justin changed. The reason that you were so scared, and so untrusting of everyone.

You eventually felt so dead inside that you didn’t realize that you even drew blood with the rubberband, or that there were now burn marks all over your skin. You started setting fire to the grass and wood around you, and you didn’t care if it started to spread. For all you cared, the flames could engulf you and at least no one would be in pain anymore, and no one would blame you for anything.

We’ll be on fire

At some point, you weren’t sure when, a small ring of fire surrounded you. You thought you hallucinated Tyler and Josh’s voice calling your name, so you ignored it. You were so lost, that you didn’t even notice that Tyler had carried you out your doom like a guardian angel.

The next morning you felt like your soul had returned to your body. You woke up in familiar bed inside of Tyler’s house, and you sighed in relief. You slowly walked down the stairs, and to your delight you were greeted by Tyler and Josh.

“Hey… how are you feeling…?” Josh asks quietly.

You look down at your wrist and arm, shrugging your shoulders a little bit.

“Better, I guess…” you respond as you finally reached the bottom steps.

Tyler gives you a small smile and walks over to you, pulling you in for a warm embrace.

“I’m just glad you’re still alive…” he whispers into your ear.

You squeeze your eyes shut and hold onto him as tightly as you could without hurting yourself even more.

“Thank you…” you say softly, pulling away.

You were wearing nothing but one of Tyler’s old tees, the bruises and cuts finally showing themselves from last night.

“He’s not going to get away with this, I hope you realize that.” Josh says, walking over to you grabbing your hand gently and gave it a reassuring squeeze before walking away.

——————————————————

You spent the rest of your day with Tyler. It was sweet, and you finally felt safe. You felt like your normal happy self again. The night came closer and you started to yawn.

Tyler laughs and butterflies fill your stomach.

“If you’re sleepy then go to bed, silly.” he says as he gives you a kiss on the top of your head.

You smile up at him and nod, getting up from the couch and walked upstairs. After Tyler knew you were asleep, he went out to give Justin a little visit.

—————————————————————

He knocked on the door loudly, clenching his fists as he heard Justin’s footsteps nearing. He could hear a girl’s giggle, and it raged Tyler even more. The door opened and Tyler looked up at Justin, pure hatred emitting from his being.

Tyler pushed him inside, looking at the girl and signaled her to get the hell out of the house. She obliged and ran out, quickly driving away.

“We need to talk…” Tyler said firmly.

Justin scoffs and tries to walk away from him, only to be dragged back towards him.

“I don’t think so, Justin.” Tyler says. “You don’t get to walk away like nothing happened. I know what happened. You don’t get to treat (Y/N) like that ever. Or anyone for that matter. Do I make myself clear?” he says sternly.

Justin smirks and pushes him aside.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, asshole. You don’t know shit.” he shouts.

“Bullshit! I know everything! She’s told me everything about you, and what you’ve said to her. And that’s not okay.”

Justin laughs maniacally.

“So what are you going to do about it? Huh? Write a song about it?” he mocks.

Tyler twitches and punches him right in the nose, breaking it. Blood splatters over his knuckles as Tyler tackles him to the ground, repeatedly hitting him over and over again until blood is covering Justin’s face.

Tyler gets off him, looking down at the body.

“That’s what I’m going to do about that.” he says as Justin groans and spits blood out. He starts to crawl to the kitchen counter as Tyler is about to leave the house. He grabs his phone and calls you, as he sees he has a missed call from you.

“Hey (Y/N)…”

“Hey Ty… Where’d you go?”

“I went to Justin’s… I had to talk to him…”

“You what?! Are you kidding me Ty? Come home right now!”

“Don’t worry, everything is oka-”

Justin opens the drawer weakly, grabbing the gun that was stowed away. He clicks the safety off and shoots.

You frowned as you could hear the gunshots go off on the phone.

“Tyler? TY? TYLER!” you shouted over the phone but to no avail. There was no response.

You quickly hung up the phone and called the police, telling them the address and to get there as soon as possible. Anxiety pulsed through your body as you called Josh to tell him the situation.

Josh quickly drives to Tyler’s house quickly to pick you up, and you rush to Justin’s house immediately. You were happy to see that the ambulance was already there. You rushed past the police and the caution tape.

“Meet me at the hospital!” you shout at Josh as you make your way towards the ambulance

You ran into the back of the ambulance and sat down by Tyler as you ignored everything they said about you not being able to ride in the back. However, they got the hint you weren’t taking no for an answer and finally allowed it.

“Ty…” you whispered. You ran your hand through his mocha hair and smiled when his eyes fluttered open.

“Hey…” he says weakly.

“Why the hell would you go over there?” you ask, voice shaking. “I could’ve lost you… Then what would I have done…?

“Hey… I’m not leaving you that easily. I just had to teach the ass a lesson… Needless to say I think I got my point across. No one gets to treat the woman I love like that… Ever…” he says in between breaths.

You smile and laugh a little bit, giving him a kiss on the top of the head.

“I love you too, Ty… but right now I need you to focus on surviving, okay?”

Tyler simply nods his head and closes his eyes. You look at the paramedics with a concerned look with the amount of blood that was coming out of his body.

The paramedics curse under their breath as the ambulance reaches the hospital. They quickly rush Tyler to the OR as you’re left standing in the rain, with Josh rushing to your side. He pulls you inside and wraps his jacket around you, assuring you that everything was going to be okay.

“He’s going to be fine, (Y/N). He wouldn’t leave you like that. I promise. He loves you too much.” Josh says.

You nod your head a little, wondering if he was going to make it. And if he didn’t, at least he knew that you loved him, and that you always had loved him, despite everything that happened between the two of you.

After hours of operation, the doctors finally came out to deliver the news.

“(Y/N)?” the doctors said as he walked out.

You immediately turned your head and swallowed, standing up to meet the doctor halfway.

— when he loved you ; lee minhyuk

Pairing: Minhyuk x Reader
Words: 2,392 words
Rating: G
Genre: fluff, angst
Warnings: None
Summary:
❝ You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky, and you decided purple just wasn’t for you ❞
Note: Hello! This is for @wonhoinamillion. Thank you for your beautiful words, I was really inspired! 😭😭😭 Hope you’ll like this! 💕



He’s that boy.

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Thorns Pt: 2

PART 1

RATED: ANGST 

SUMMARY:   PART 1: Summary It’s been a year since the RFA party. MC and Jumin’s relationship was rocky because some demons were coming out. That didn’t stop the couple from continuing to fight for internal happiness. Jumin made the biggest business deal ever in the history of the C&R International Company, so of course, a party must be done to celebrate his achievement.  


Jumin POV

I ran. I ran just like I did 5 months ago. I saw the rest of the members with new flowers and balloons I ran past by them and saw V, Zen, and Seven trying to catch up to me from the corner of my eye. I refused to be caught. I will follow MCs wind. I felt a breeze around me knowing it was her running next to me. The wind was running past me and I was not going to let it. My heart and eyes burned. My feet was ready to give up. Not yet. Not till the wind stops.

I ended up at the same ledge MC fell at. I felt the wind go around me telling me I need to be free. I stood by the ledge and let the wind take me.


“Jumin NOOOOO”

My heart stopped. The wind kept flowing past my body telling me to jump but…but I know that’s MC’s voice.

“Jumin please don’t go”

I would never leave MC. How can I leave someone who changed my world for the best. Without her, I’m just a machine. Call me possessive, stupid, or irrational but that’s what love is. Love isn’t a fairy tale. It’s heaven and hell combined. It brings out the best and worst of you. Whoever says love is beautiful, kind, and sweet, don’t ever fucking believe them. Love is going blindly into the depths of their soul and trusting them that they will be the light to guide you.

“Jumin…. I’m sorry for everything please forgive me.”

I dared to laugh while I was looking into her sunset brown eyes. Why is she asking me for forgiveness?I was the one who broke her. You don’t break the people you love. I don’t and never will deserve her. I breathed heavily while taking her hands into mine. I put her hands near mine and kissed them tenderly. It seemed like once upon a time was all we had.

V POV

I known Jumin ever since we were little kids. He always had this tough exterior protecting his heart because his first heartbreak was his own mother. You see, people love to romanticize everything and anything. The reason for that is because people have hope that someone or something would save them, when in reality you can only save yourself. It is pretty cliche but how do you tell someone that there is no hope? That there is no light at the end of the tunnel? You simply can’t because then you are the one killing them. Humans are such strange creatures because we crave and need love in order for us to feel complete. Once we reach that level of bliss, we have a tendency of being the ones to destroy it simply because we are afraid of someone else destroying it.

That was not Jumin’ case. I was the reason for my brothers heart break. The person who I thought was the love of my life was actually the devil herself. Her poison tasted like honey and god I was addicted. None of that didn’t matter because I was seeing my brother confusing Zen for MC. God. I’m the reason why he is broken.

ZEN POV

I always hated him because he reminded me of my brother but…. but….I was glad I saw him as my brother. He was the family I never had. I just never knew it till years later. Damn how time flashes by because I was in his exact same position. The two main differences is that I hid my pain with beer and cigarettes. The other one is that my family’s doubt and hatred caused me to be this way. Jumin on the other hand, he didn’t know how to handle the love of his life dying and he is blaming himself for it. When I notice he confused me for MC…I had to pretend to be her……how else would you save someone who was ready to get rid of their life.

Jumin… please let’s go back home…. You need to rest….let me take care of you….let’s go Jumin…” I extended out my hand hoping he is still confusing me with her. He was still looking into my eyes as if he was hypnotize. He reached for my hand using my strength to help himself get up. He looked at me and I saw a broken man. I felt breeze go around me.. shit it was getting cold… we need to move now. Right when I turned around I felt a big thug hit the ground. Fuck. Jumin fainted.

Sevens POV

Holy mother of honey Buddha Chips. I knew MC’s state was affecting him but I didn’t know it was this deep. He actually confused Zen for MC. Poor man is desperate just to see the love of his life. When we saw him faint, all three of us rushed over to make sure he was alive. Thank god he was still breathing. I told Zen and V to pick him up while I go get the car. I never ran faster in my life because I knew how it was like to lose someone you love…. and to be the cause of their destruction…. Saeran I’m sorry. I felt my tears falling down onto my skin and my lungs were ready to explode. Shit this isn’t the time to think about Saeran. I finally saw my car and raced back to the area.

V and Zen was already holding his lifeless body and they put his body in the back seat. I rushed back to his house and yelled at the guards to open the fucking door. We rushed inside his master bedroom and put him to his bed. Shit. His place was a mess. Wine, whiskey, scotch, and tequila were everywhere. On the floor was a picture of MC and him at the first party. There was another photograph of the whole RFA. Damn. How shit change. The three of us decided to stay at his home to clean up the place and to also take care of a broken man. Please…. wake up soon Jumin…..

Jumin POV

What the flying fuck is going on with my head. Did I drink again and passed out ? I opened my eyes slowly falling into the realization that MC is yet to be here again. Ugghh. I touched my head and felt a bandage. Okay that’s new. I saw my room was tidy up and I knew I had to fire the whole fucking staff for not following orders. I got up and dragged myself to open the door but it was fucking locked. What the fuck. I started to bang against it hoping someone will hear me.

“ Jumin…. it’s time for you face it Jumin… you can’t kill yourself because of your past….Jumin you have to….” it was V. He had a hint of guilt in his tone. “ Let me out. I need to go see MC. LET ME FUCCCKING GOOOO” I yelled hoping he will get that I’m fucking serious about this. “ Brother..no.. I’m sorry” I heard footsteps and then heard a door close. Fuck he left. I cannot…… be left alone……. FUCK I MUST HAVE ALCOHOL STASHED SOMEWHERE. I looked frantically trying to find it but instead I was left with my demons…with my own thoughts killing me. You looked into the mirror and all you saw was a disgusting, pathetic man. You looked into your own eyes and you were ready to tell yourself the truth. You were ready to let the demon out.

“I fucking hate you.” You pointed at the mirror. “ You are the reason why she is on that bed. You are the reason for why your parents split up. You are the reason for your mother’s tears. You were so stupid. As a kid you were suppose to have emotions… you were suppose to be there for your mother but all you fucking said was get over it. How stupid can you be. How fucking stupid and pathetic can you be.” You fell to your knees and started to cry. It wasn’t those cute cries. It was the cry of finally opening the ache that had been within your heart for many years.

“You deserved when mother told you that you were going to end up like your father. All your father ever done is work and expresses his emotions with money and women. You didn’t help mend your mother’s heart all you did was destroy it even more. She deserves to say all the nasty things she said to you”. You banged on the mirror roughly hearing the shattering of glass and mistaking it with the shatter of your heart. You can’t go back. You need to release it all.

“You’re a fucking MONSTER for falling in love with your best friend girlfriend. It wasn’t even falling in love.. it was just your pathetic ass needed to be understood by someone…. needed to fill a hint of emotion because you didn’t want to admit that you were lonely. You didn’t want to admit that you hated yourself and your life. YOU RUIN EVERYTHING” the scream echoed throughout the apartment as if someone was being murder. That’s how the poison from within you was sounding.

You couldn’t even have a normal fucking relationship with someone because you compared the women you were in love with to a wrecked snake” more glass was being shattered. You looked at yourself with the mirror majority cracked. You started to laugh uncontrollably. “This is seeing the real me…a shattered pathetic man” you saw the blood on the mirror and the proceeded to look down onto your knuckles. “ MC YOU’RE MY LIFE, MY HAPPINESS, MY DARKNESS, MY LIFE, MY SWEETEST DEVOTION, I’M SORRY I FAILED YOU. I’M SORRY I WAS TOO COMPLICATED TO BE FIXED. ALL YOU DONE WAS TRY TO SAVE ME BUT ALL I DID WAS TAKE YOU DOWN WITH ME TO HELL. IM FUCKING SORRY MC I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU MY ANGEL. WHEN DID EVERYTHING WENT WRONG. I WOULD NEVER KNOW BUT I WILL FIX US. THIS LOVE ISN’T OVER YET. GOD PLEASE PLEASE SAVE HER. TAKE MY WEALTH OR MY HEALTH AND SAVE HER. I CAN’T LET GO OF HER YET.” I yelled to the heavens. Please god…. save the one who tried to save me.

I heard the main door opening and I heard footsteps running towards my master room. “ Jumin!! Are you okay!!” It was Seven. “Couldn’t be any fucking better” I hissed with a hint of sarcasm and sadness.

“Jumin… I’m sorry MC is go-


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SasuSaku Month - Day 12: Lights Out, Words Gone || [Fanfic] Storm (Part II)

Title: Storm (Part II)

Rating: K+/PG

Notes: Sorry for the delay and thank you for your patience. As I told you yesterday, things came up in RL and could not write to my heart’s content. Furthermore, this chapter has given me quite a few problems and I had to rewrite some parts once and again till I was satisfied.

As always, if you find something strange, please, tell me ^^ I hope you enjoy this second part :)

Words: 6257

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STORM  (PART II)

They arrived at Sasuke’s house more than half an hour later due to the heavy traffic that filled the streets and some detours they had to take when the police officers asked them to. Sakura could perceive he was clearly annoyed by the situation and did not know how to feel about it. If it had not been for her, maybe he would have arrived earlier. By that time he could have been comfortably watching television at home. Or sleeping, as Naruto had said.

Keep reading

Zevran the Seducer

It’s canon that he’s good at it. His primary roles in his trio with Taliesin and Rinna were seduction and poison making. What (apart from being good looking) contributes to someone being skilled at seduction? The way they make you feel.

Imagine he needs to seduce someone for some reason. Not necessarily to kill him or her, maybe just to provide a distraction while some shenanigans are occurring elsewhere.

He catches their eye because he’s trying to. He looks at them, fixating on what he likes about them. Focusing on their beauty, letting himself indulge in them; the shape of them, the nuances of their body language, their femininity/masculinity. The “object of his affection” is going to see Zevran in that place of enjoyment. He lets himself be seen in his enjoyment, which is actually very vulnerable which is literally so sexy I would literally fucking die.

Anyway, he basically makes his intent clear, flirting via his enjoyment, so before he even speaks with them the groundwork is already set.

  • He knows how to enjoy a person.

  • He knows how to express his enjoyment.

  • He’s into it, because this particular quality of contact outside of his work life is scarce (getting simple pleasures when one can.)

  • It’s safe for him to indulge when it’s all a fantasy/just a job.

  • His language of love is touch.

  • He’s a beautiful man with a somewhat androgynous appearance, so he can play on his masculinity or femininity depending on what he senses his ‘object of desire’ might prefer.

  • He’s an open enough individual to do that ^

That’s not to say Crows didn’t totally get down. I imagine sex for Crows is a lot like… sleeping. A basic need. I HC they probably gave each other handys on the regular. How I came to this conclusion is Zevran’s relationship to Taliesin who he had known like, for who knows how long. Given they were purchased at the same time, they could have been raised by the same whores in the same brothel. Basically, sex is SO no big deal that Zevran becomes lovers with someone he had grown up with, whereas it might be more common for one to have a more fraternal relationship with that person. Now that I’m thinking about it, how god damn long had Zevran been lovers with Taliesin? Good god, like, he kills Taliesin… I can’t do this right now. That’s a whole other post. God damn.

My point is, seduction was part of his job, however, his enjoyment was real. From the moment he laid eyes on the person up until the job was done, Zevran was free to express stuff he enjoyed expressing; doting, touching, kissing, receiving, etc.

Bonus: I HC his being skilled at seduction gives him a sense of what it’s like to love someone or be loved, which not only points to that he is perfectly capable of loving, but also indicates a willingness and a desire to. He is so primed for your Warden. *dies*

Piano!lock AU

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | ao3

when it runs you down

The melody started to materialise in front of him. John let his mind lead him through the melancholy rhythm. There was a violin somewhere in his mind, playing along with him, as his teacher had done once. He ached for the chance to be able and guide someone else through a piece, for two different melodies to clash and entwine harmoniously together. He would never have that again. This was his last time. The last time he played. The last time he would feel the softness of the keys under his fingertips. The last time he would let his will elevate his mind to press deeply in every single note. The slow melody enveloped him, suffocated him.

Why? Why did he have to endure this? Why him? Why?! The angry passion of someone being ripped apart from their loved ones exploded through the music. He was angry. With himself and with everyone. Why?! He had so much hatred in his heart, deep rooted with aggressiveness. They had imposed on him qualities he never wanted anything to do with. Why!? The furious notes flew through his fingers. Breathing ragged. John almost fell on the keys in exhaustion. He couldn’t bear this anymore!

His muscle memory continued to produce the next soft notes. Suddenly, in his head even they, with their soft sadness, felt too much. He slowed down, drowned it inside. Swallowed it whole. The loss, the anguish, the pain.

‘Let it out, Johnny… Let it out… Relax… When you relax, your body makes music too. Trust me, sweetie, let it out…’

Crying, screaming, panicking. John couldn’t breathe. Every breath was a stab of pain. He was losing it. His fingers were trembling. Let it out… There were images in his mind. Too much. Too many. A boy running to get away. His sister crying with a black eye. A boy locked in the closet, trying to hide tears, to be brave, to be a soldier. His sister throwing a glass to the wall. His sister lying unresponsive in bed with a half-emptied bottle. Let it out… Be a soldier. Isn’t that what he was now? A soldier going to war? Yes. Let it out…

John breathed. He blinked. His fingers moved. Muscle memory. Feelings. Music. His heart became one with it. Say your goodbye. Say it with pride. Never regret it. The black and white keys were part of his being. Music was part of his heart. The piano was an extension of his body. Say it with dignity. Never regret it. The melody became heated. Quick strokes. Strong momentary notes. Rapid movements. Fingers of a pianist reaching everywhere, up and down, deep and low, strong and loud, soft and unmoving, sudden and gone. No. He wasn’t a pianist. He was a soldier. He always has been. Suddenly hands stopping. Pressing. Once… Twice…

‘Goodbye…’ he whispered, barely audible.

Thrice. Slowly, reluctantly, fingers left the keys to rest. Body straightened. His mind woke up. John blinked. There was silence around him. In the dim light, his eyes adjusted from the bright refractions of light they had received from the alabaster keys. He was still at the club. Every single person left was looking at him. What was it? Did they want more? John would have to disappoint. He had said his goodbyes after all… The world broke in a huge wave of clapping and applauding. His fists clenched on his knees. Eyes locked on the keys in front of him to avoid looking anywhere else and his heart shuddered. No. He had to leave. Why was he still here in the first place? He got up straight. And left the stage. Ignored the people trying to approach him. Shoved Mike away with a vague goodnight. He left.

Tonight, he would be just a lonely figure walking the streets of London. He would be no one. Tomorrow, he would be a soldier. Nothing else. There was nothing else. Never again.


The moment the Scotland Yard arrived, Sherlock had shoved them all off with a ‘Ah! Finally!’ of exasperation. Lestrade had eyed John furiously, when Sherlock just took one of the blue lights from the crew team without consent.

‘You know how he is, Lestrade.’ John shrugged. The police officer didn’t answer, instead kept eyeing at him wordlessly. ‘What?’ John frowned. ‘It’s not like I could do something about it!’

Lestrade’s hand shot up, a finger pointed at John, he was ready to explode and John bewildered took a step back. There was a half mouthed ‘You!’ on his lips but then he suddenly just exhaled, lips tightly shut, eyes supervising the rest of the team trying to block the light from the crystal-clear windows all over the place. John Watson sighed in relief, but taking another good look at Lestrade he could see the purple circles around his eyes, his slouched posture and curt nods to the team, without even a smile or any of his usual characteristics. They had some time now to go out for a drink but he could guess his family situation was becoming worse along with huge amounts of paperwork and new cases at the office. On top of all that, Sherlock wasn’t very accommodating with simpler cases lately, John guessed it had brought a riot in the detective inspector’s office.

‘Oh, come on, quickly!’ there was Sherlock’s voice from a few metres away. John’s eyes shot up at Anderson’s team doing as quickly as possible. Donovan was apparently downstairs catching up with Anderson. He rolled his eyes but then noticed how tense the DI had become suddenly. Maybe he could do something after all. Maybe what was happening to him the last few weeks had led him to let Sherlock roam wild… well, wilder than usual. He frowned and walked to his idiot of a genius friend, placing a steady hand on his shoulder and leaning close, apparently to look at what he was trying to discover with the blue light in his hand.

‘Easy, Sherlock. We have time.’ He whispered while thinking of what else to say that would catch Sherlock’s attention. ‘Want to tell me what you hope to find?’ John noticed how his voice was a bit softer than usual but it was too late to take it back, he shoved the thought away.

The consulting detective snapped to attention at John’s tone, escaping John’s grip on his shoulder. There was something of a curious trembling aura in his eyes, John squinted trying to recognise but he was fairly sure, he hadn’t seen it before. They broke eye contact almost immediately afterwards and Sherlock held the blue light as a pointer, ready to go on about what he had deduced. Lestrade neared too and John caught a momentary grateful glance shooting his way.

‘Here’s where the painting was positioned.’ Sherlock tried to speak slowly and be patient, indicating to them where to look with the blue light at hand. ‘The man belonging to the personnel of the building was found dead approximately four blocks from here. He disappeared while on shift. Now, I bet if we ask for the hours of this shift from the owner, they will match with the estimation of when the painting was taken.’

‘You mean stolen?’ Lestrade cut him off. ‘You mean the man we found dead had stolen the painting from his boss and run into the night, got himself killed?’ John frowned looking at his flatmate. No, this wasn’t so simple, he would have told him already.

‘No, George, I said we’re looking for a murderer. Do keep up.’ Sherlock grimaced. ‘I am saying, our man was killed right here. In front of the painting. And let me guess, he had deadly wounds that probably killed him in seconds, wounds that would also happen to bleed a lot, right?’

Lestrade stayed still for a moment, then nodded, obviously too tired to argue about his name.

‘Knife to the side of the neck.’ The inspector took his phone out and showed them some pictures.

Sherlock smirked triumphantly.

‘That’s what we’re looking for. Blood. Probable footprints. Everything.’

John smiled proudly. Everything was starting to get clearer. The murderer had a personal feud with the man working here obviously. He came to kill him but he was sloppy, he hadn’t thought it through. He probably tried to clean the floorboards but wood so greatly polished always would have imprints of all that transpired on it. If they could find footprints…

‘Obviously, we can’t rely only on footprints but if I’m correct, the killer took the painting with them in a sloppy attempt to make this look like a disappearance. Of course, the painting would have stains of blood. Wounds like that would splutter blood everywhere.’ He heard Sherlock say dimly, lost in thought.

‘I’ve already put people asking around family and friends of the victim. Tomorrow we should be able to have a list of all his known contacts.’ The DI spoke thoughtfully as well.

‘He probably meant to return the painting after he had found a way to forge it. He hadn’t thought the police would find his victim’s body so quickly. Ugh, boring. He’s a real sloppy one.’ Sherlock shook his head in frustration, tufts of his hair flying all around his face; John didn’t know why he always noticed such details.


There’s always a first time. A first time for a little boy to not be careful enough. A first time to be careless. A first time he can give in to his youth and be swept away. There’s always a first time. That was the first time, little John exhausted from the rainy day, his schoolwork, his million little thoughts running around his brain, fell on his bed promising to get up in five minutes. Just five minutes. The door gaped wide open. His little sister unaware and playful for the first time in days.

There was thunder and shouts and a muffled cry of a child when John woke up five hours later. With eyes wide, he saw the door close in front of him, the monster he once called Father was holding the key in one hand and his sister’s hair in the other. It closed. It clicked. Only then the boy registered the pained wailing of his sister’s open mouth. He shot up, falling to the door with all his boyish strength shouting like a mere child. That’s all he was after all. A child. A flash of lighting lit the space around him. A slow drunker slur of words was all he could hear now as his sister’s crying became silent from the other side of the stubbornly closed door.

‘Y’ur too old to pla’ with dolls, mmmy swe’t. Y’ur broth’r ain’t takin’ ca’e of you anym’re. I’m respo’sibl’, I’m to show ye the way, gir’.’

The boy stood, frozen, unable to move away from the door. He couldn’t tear his ears off the noises. He must hear. Think. Think. You’re not a child. Think.

‘Take care of her, Johnny boy… Always take care of her…’

Think! The was a clash of glass. Splinters falling all over the place. Think! A muffled pleading cry of a terrified girl trying to keep quiet and submissive.

‘Think, Johnny. What do we do? Think. First lock. Then hide. Then run. Think, Johnny. What if you can’t? What if you can’t? Call. Johnny, call!’

Mother’s voice was digging in his ears. The boy pushed his body up from the door. He made it to the cupboards panting. Another shuttered glass. No, that was a bottle. The boy threw the drawers out of their places. A trembling hand reached the back of the empty closet now. Caught something slim and smooth. Got it out. Pressed the buttons frettingly. Dialled.

‘Police Department of South……… what is your emergency?’ the boy didn’t hear anything just barked their address with strength he didn’t know he had. A scream from the other side of the door.

‘Help us!’ the childish voice returned. The boy hated it. He fell to the floor curling up. Even if he went out the window to the front door or the neighbours there was nothing else he could do. He hated it.


there you go guys :) thank you all for the support! hope you like the first scene of this especially, it is very dear to me because of my experience as a pianist <3 tags below the cut ;)

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anonymous asked:

how can you get more notes on your edits??? I always make edits and tag them but they at most get 20 and the other day a blog stole my edit and got 150 and i was like, apart from being mad, how????

first of all: wow that sucks that someone reposted it (and it got more notes), you can always let tumblr know! 

well i guess it helps my mutuals often reblog my stuff, and tag it with the right things like: taylor swift, tswiftedit, taylorswiftedit, maybe blogs you’d like too see it so they reblog it from you? you can always tag me.

Ben Affleck partook in satirizing religion in the movie Dogma but thinks Islam is exempt from criticism. All ideas and beliefs are subject to analyzation. We challenge people’s political opinions or correct our friends if they spread a known urban myth. Religion is no exception and Islam gets no special pass.

I don’t care too much either way what the actor thinks but I feel this is worth mentioning because many otherwise liberal and libertarian persons in the U.S., who rightly question and criticize other beliefs and opinions, have a problem when Islam is being analyzed. This is illogical.

Challenging a belief system is not the same as hating the estimated 1.6 billion people who identify with it. Automatically hating or mistreating someone you perceive to be Muslim simply because of their religion is wrong and prejudiced. Bill Maher and Sam Harris, the people he was arguing with, were criticizing ideas that deserve to be pointed out, not calling for the hatred of every Muslim. The two of them also have criticized Christianity in great detail, but I haven’t heard any outrage from social liberals at that or accusations of racism. Then again, Christianity and Islam are religions, not races.

Liberals and libertarians know that criticizing Christianity or the Republican Party isn’t calling for the hatred of all those who believe simply for their labels. And most of us realize that there are degrees of beliefs and not every person who identifies with either Christianity or conservative beliefs all think alike. So let’s apply that same way of thinking when we hear Islam being picked apart, especially when it’s from someone like Sam Harris, who has actually studied and written about it in-depth.
Asuma and Kurenai's Daughter

Something that really stood out for me in Chapter 700 was this scene, but nobody’s talking about something I noticed so I’ll put my take on it.

Asuma and Kurenai’s daughter is now a full-fledged kunoichi, but instead of going to see Naruto, the current Hokage, she tells her mother that she’s going to go see Kakashi and Gai. Not only that, but she informs her mother she’s going to be gone 2-3 days. I thought to myself, why would she prefer to see them instead of attending to Naruto? Is there some sort of relationship there? And then an idea hit me. 

Kakashi and Gai knew her father. They fought together, they grew up together, they graduated together, and they were friends.

Then this scene from Ch. 700 appears right after.

My favorite sensei's dorks are talking about taking a “nostalgic tour” and Asuma’s daughter is on her way to meet them. I’m willing to bet that she went with them on this tour. She was probably pushing Gai’s chair while he enthusiastically pointed out places and told her stories of their glorious youth while giving her as many tales of her father he could remember, with Kakashi walking leisurely next to them, nodding, and supplying details where needed. She’s probably already heard these stories a hundred times already, to the point where she can recite them herself, but being able to hear someone else (apart from her mother) talking about her father is comforting in more ways than one. It reaffirms that he was real, that the stories are true, that he once walked the same streets she’s walking on now. It makes her feel closer to the man she never had the chance to meet. These moments with Gai and Kakashi help her feel connected to her father, so every time she looks at his picture before she leaves home, she doesn’t see a dead man’s face. She’ll see her father’s past, his adventures, his life. 

iloveroxy7-deactivated20150722  asked:

"Aplatonic" is literallh just being asocial.... oh my God not wanting friends doesnt make you queer. How are asocial people opressed by society??

We didn’t coin the term, nor have we discussed it on this blog really… However, I do follow the blog where the term originated, so I have some things to say about it.

If you actually read the infographic at all, you’d realize that you’re full of crap. Aplatonic describes someone who doesn’t feel platonic attraction - it’s a descriptor and perhaps an identity, but it is not an orientation. It’s primarily meant for aromantics who also do not feel platonic attraction, though in theory alloromantics might also not feel platonic attraction… but none have come forward to say so. It doesn’t make someone queer, but by nature of being aromantic, a person who feels aplatonic describes them would already be queer. 

Moreover, it’s not about someone who doesn’t want friends or won’t make friends. It’s a term describing someone who never feels drawn to someone. Platonic attraction is that pull towards someone that you want to get to know better, want to spend time with, want to be around. It motivates most people to make friends with someone specific. It’s that feeling that makes you think of a person when you aren’t around them, that makes you want to reach out to them regularly. Someone who is aplatonic doesn’t feel that. They make friends more by being in regular contact with someone, and may drift apart from their friends if they stop being around them regularly. Making friends takes a conscious effort, as they have no inner motivation to befriend a specific person beyond the pressures to have friends and the desire not to be alone. 

At least, that’s what I’ve gathered from reading up on it. 

And, by the way, you don’t have to be oppressed to want a term for your feelings. But we are social creatures who have constructed a society that favors those who are social, so…

-Kiowa

Thoughts.

I’ve never known normality or real, healthy relationship until I met her. Now I know what they mean by ‘love is supposed to be easy’ because with her, all my fears wash away and I feel safe. No moment makes me anxious apart from the usual nerves you get being around someone so beautiful. I don’t act like someone else, say I like the things I don’t to impress her and I don’t expect the same back. We are just ourselves with eachother.. and it’s easy, it’s sweet and cute. It’s beautiful.


This was gay.

@zweiltoftheblackblade cont. 

It warms his heart to see Kuroto this way, gentle and honest.  Yuki can’t help but smile at the way he answers.  The way he doesn’t want to be without his partner. 

Yuki understands.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.  I can’t imagine…being apart from someone you share such a bond with, though.  I’m sure it’s difficult.  If you need someone to talk to…” Yuki smiles. “Well, I’m a good listener.  Or so I’ve been told.”