being an onion and all

Okay, the Onion theory about him being Yellow Diamond is neat and all, but if the theory of the Onion family tree is true, then doesn’t that debunk the Yellow Diamond theory?

You all say Onion might be Yellow Diamond because of him not having ears (like all other gems) and his bizarre behavior, but Vidalia doesn’t have any ears either.

Since gems have to sacrifice themselves in order to bring a human being into the world, that could mean that Vidalia was in fact a gem. Since the Onion family tree theory says that Vidalia gave birth to Sour Cream first, that means that Sour Cream will be a gem and most likely not Onion. Which means that Onion can’t be Yellow Diamond.

The Truth Behind Sardonyx

We’ve all been bamboozled. Everything we know is a lie. How can I have been so blind? The answer was right in front of us the whole time! I know the truth, however, I have discovered the terrifying truth behind Stevenbomb III and the gem we call “Sardonyx”.

I have gone through the TERRIBLE TROUBLE of COMPILING everything for your pleasure, because I know that you know that we have been IGNORING all the CLUES that have been pertinent to this investigation.

This is the image on the floor when Jasper and Garnet are facing off, and we have seen DOZENS upon DOZENS of theories of the Diamond Authority and the existence of Yellow Diamond. Hmm, I wonder who Yellow Diamond could be? 


None other than ONION the theory that we have ALL heard of Onion being none other than Yellow Diamond. No ears or eyebrows? JUST LIKE THE GEMS! Where is his GEM you might ask? Well as we can see his NECK is covered, not to mention we have not heard him SPEAK, and therefore we can deduce that Onion’s GEM is located on his NECK. Maybe the gem isn’t working how it should, thus blocking his ability to speak. We’ve heard this theory before, yes, so why am I repeating it? Because we have forgotten this theory in light of the argument over WHO is SARDONYX. That’s just what Yellow Diamond wants us to think. They want us to believe that Sardonyx is someone else, but truly I know who Sardonyx really is. Sardonyx can look like this:

Where have we seen a mix of blue, orange, and white before? That’s right, on Onion’s very own brother:

SOUR CREAM. But obviously we have no evidence that Sour Cream is a gem or even part gem. However, we know from Stevonnie that a half-human gem can fuse with a human. Do we know who was Onion’s Mum or where she went? No. Therefore, can Onion TOO be half human? YES. Therefore…. Sardonyx is… the fusion of SOUR CREAM AND ONION.

*MIC DROP*

8

i get the feeling Zack’s being a little bit facetious here. a member of SOLDIER must be conscious of how they are perceived by the public, of course, but at the end of the day, it’s largely a job for Shinra’s PR department. i kind of think the posing bit is just Zack having a little self-deprecating fun with the lower ranking officers who probably think being a SOLDIER 1st Class is all image

not that a certain onion child didn’t overhear and take it entirely too seriously