being a mega creep

I feel like women are given so many mixed messages when it comes to our safety. On one hand, you’re told to watch your back; there are some scary men out there who will hurt you given the chance. I was always told not to go down that dark alleyway alone, don’t talk to strangers, watch out for your drink when you’re at a night club, don’t dress too provocatively, be wary of strangers trying to chat you or your mates up, listen to your gut instinct. I’ve also seen the flip side of this. I’ve seen mates get their drinks spiked, and all my female friends have the same story about getting chatted up by that one creepy guy who your gut instinct is telling you to run away from, but you don’t wan’t to be rude. We find ourselves stuck between being wary of people who are giving us mega creep-vibes, and wanting to be polite and not cause a scene. The number of times I’ve been stuck talking to some guy who is setting off my creep-radar but I find myself unable to walk away because then I become a prude, a bitch. A fear-mongering feminazi! Learn to take a compliment! I don’t bite. I just want to buy you a drink.

When you turn around and say “hey, you know what, there ARE some really scary dudes out there. Be careful who gets talking to you, don’t feel pressured to give your number out if some creep is chatting you up..” the word instantly turns it it back around on you. Give him a chance! He’s just being nice…there’s always some self-proclaimed “nice guy” who is quick to call you a fear-mongering feminist, tell you there is nothing to be afraid of, you’re just perpetuating the stereotype of big bad scary men. Why won’t you give nice guys a chance? He was just complimenting you. C'mon, are you sure you’re weren’t just being too friendly? are you sure it’s not just a misunderstanding? He’s just trying to be nice, give him a chance! it’s rude not to talk back. Maybe you weren’t clear when you were talking to him. You must be sending mixed signals. What were you wearing? You don’t want to lead him on. He’s probably just nervous. You should be more polite.

I’m really sick of feeling bad for not wanting to engage with some creep who has approached me out of no where when I was minding my own business. We’re taught from a young age to watch your back, not to talk to strangers, but simultaneously we are taught to remain polite and gracious, to accept compliments and say please and thank you regardless of the situation. So which is it!? I’m still trying to teach myself that it’s OK to walk away from the creepy guy pestering you for your number on the street, even if it means being rude and telling them to get fucked. I’m 25, I hate that I’m still learning to trust my gut instincts.

Cinder/Velvet (I forgot who asked for this, but if you send me a message, I’ll tag you.)

Velvet nervously checked her scroll for what must have been the thirtieth time that hour, her single beer gone flat and lukewarm, droplets of condensation bleeding down the bottle to pool on the wooden bar. Beacon might not be particularly strict about enforcing its curfew, but as one of the few openly Faunus students, people like Cardin Winchester were always watching her, eager to brand all of her personal mistakes onto the foreheads of every single Faunus. Mistakes like sneaking out after dark to a grimy nightclub in the shipping district.

She really hadn’t thought that one through.

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