Recently Jimin told me he had been feeling extremely happy and relaxed these days. But actually when we were trainees, and for a time after debuting too, Jimin and I had something in common, which was always blaming on ourselves for our flaws, having thoughts like “No matter how I look at it, I can’t do it, I’m lacking, I’m not good.” Jimin said he wrote the lyrics while thinking about his past like that. The Jimin of the past always lived in a lie, although that wasn’t true. He thought he was lacking, he couldn’t do it, even if others didn’t say it bad things always happened because of him. He told me he wrote “Lie” as he was thinking back to that time. It might be hard reflecting on that time, but Pdogg-hyung said this song was perfect, the lyrics were beautiful immediately after listening to it. I think the lyrics are not too hard, they are perfectly written. This song’s a proof for Jimin himself that he has taken a step forward.
i had this friend. loud, vivacious, and brimming with energy and colour. her sun-bright smile drew others to her like moths to flame; and yet she could always pick me out from the crowd effortlessly. i wondered how she did that, why she’d pick me over many.
she was the kind of person you could never look away from for long, but i saw her better from my peripherals. when she lifted her chin, her face would become awash with glowing light; and then she’d laugh about her pale skin, and the ruddy cheeks and dark freckles would appear again, as if they’d momentarily blanked out. when she grew protective, her blue eyes would spark dangerously and burn white; and then she’d blink, and the glint of her glasses would stand in with explanation.
but i saw her best from the back. when she’d run, her fire-bright curls would flare out behind her like wings.
as flighty as she was, she always came back to me. i wondered why.
she told me, once.
one day, before class had started, when i was in the middle of falling asleep in the sunbeam warming my desk, she turned around in her seat to talk to me. she spoke with her whole body, from her waving hands to her bouncing shoulders.
then she petered off, and settled into stillness. watchfulness. despite all the eyes on her, she only saw me.
“hey,” she said. “could you look at me for a sec?”
and when i lifted my head to look at her straight on, she smiled as if she’d found the answer.
“look at that,” she murmured. “your eyes have halos in them too.”
-never being able to keep your brain quiet
-memories are like stones that weigh on your temples
-forgetting to eat because it never comes to mind
-not wanting to eat because food feels foreign
-burning watering eyes
-constantly searching for signs
-a sore throats and headaches behind your eyes
-wings are heavy and hurt
-the even bigger ache of not having them
-knowing someone is always watching over your shoulder
-nightmares and omens
-never knowing when to hold your tongue or not
-my skin feels tight and fake
-my scalp tingles
I’m sick of seeing posts about angels where everything is good and perfect and pure…. being an angel aches