behind the beautiful flowers

Broken Shards, Keepers of thy Mind.

New au sort’ve idea.
@nekophy - Goth
@angexci - Palette.

Just an idea I had, Palette is the Warmth of Happiness. The flame or spark that keeps us going.

Goth, the icy cold of loneliness. The cold that grips us when we are left behind or forgotten.

And Jay, the suicidal thoughts and timer till death. The one that is mostly dependant on Loneliness to achieve its goal of convincing you to give up on everything. Palette stops his attempts.

“Goth! Gothy! Let’s go play!” Goth felt Palettes warm embrace, savouring the comfortable feeling. But it quickly changed into a cold grip that was relatable to deaths grip. He sighed, but slowly trailed behind Palette as he led Goth toward a beautiful flower bed.

Peace, that was the name of this place. For when a human becomes at peace with thyself than and only than may they be able to be here. But sadly, no such thing has happened yet. So palette made this his home, needing no phyiscal house to claim his home.
‘i depend on the land to give me what I need, I do not wish to harm it for selfish intent.’ Goth remembered these times.

…. such happy times…

Now, all that was left was cold. Colder than ice and snow, Goth fell to his knees. Feeling tears form in his eyes as he blankly stared at the sight before him. Warmth of Joy, was gone. The spark was gone, the will to live was gone. Jay crept behind Goth, his nearly eternal smile widened.
“Is that burden gone? May we finally move to another host and redo this all again? My timer is growing toward the thirties so it shouldn’t be long now.” Jay stated, Goth still stared.

“This happens.. again and again.. I.. can’t become numb to it.. Warmth of Joy always forgets the times before.. and.. never remembers.. he’s stuck.” Goth said, Jay just snickered.

“That’s the fun of it, it’s our eternal cycle. And you seen how many humans we must look forward to! I mean, you grow colder the sadder our host is! I love the cold;” Goth sighed. A new wave of icy air drifting through the now emtpy space.
“Ah, that’s it. Now.. lets do our dance again with a new host. Shall we?”

“Im.. getting tired of it.”
“Ha, as if! Warmth of Joy is stalling! Without him we would be zooming through these pesky humans!”
“But.. I.. he makes me feel..”
“Shut it, we have to pack up and end this suckers life by…” Jay looked at a notebook.
“Hanging. C'mon.”

“What, did you just say?”

some victuuri around the world dates no one asked for (as discussed with @instantlymysticalcoffee)


  • victor would literally spoil yuuri okay
  • we’re talking. the most expensive hotel suite complete with roses and a massive balcony
  • they go to dinner one night at this rooftop restaurant overlooking the water
  • the moon is out and its candlelit and there’s a quartet playing over in the background
  • it probably smells like wine and flowers
  • the mood is just so Ideal like i imagine victor is in this nice bright red shirt that makes yuuri weak in the knees
  • victor plucking one of the flowers from the vase on the table and sticking it behind yuuri’s ear, calling him “the most beautiful flower in all of spain”
  • also headcanon that victor is very well-versed in the tango
  • they go tango dancing… oh my god victor telling yuuri to let him take the lead and he just sweeps yuuri across the floor
  • yuuri’s a skater he knows how to move so he just lets his body move with victor’s and theyre hot and sweaty and when they get back to the hotel suite they collapse on the bed and the rest is history


  • it would be rainy as hell right
  • imagine one day they’re leaving a nice little restaurant and its pouring outside but they didnt have any umbrellas so they try to book it back to the hotel room
  • once they get tired they realize they’re still like, several blocks away and the rain is not letting up so they just decide to have fun
  • they start jumping in puddles and splashing each other and its v cute
  • victor probably starts singing “singing in the rain” what a charmer
  • eventually they get back to the hotel, cue cuddles to warm up
  • yuuri probably gets a cold poor kid can u imagine his cute lil sneezes
  • victor wraps him up in tons of blankets and makes him tea and they cuddle on the couch and its v cozy and v nice 


  • they do a lot of shopping around cute old villages in france
  • yuuri’s totally captured by the rich history and beauty of the buildings and victor lets him lead him wherever he desires
  • once they go to montmartre
  • and they pass a man playing accordion on the sidewalk and he’s singing a song and they just watch him for a while
  • yuuri’s looking at some scarves at a booth and he tries one on and asks victor how it looks and the man cries out “monsieur! magnifique!” and yuuri blushes so hard and victor laughs and takes a picture of yuuri and the man because yuuri looks so cute and red but he’s happy
  • yuuri buys the scarf
  • he wears it when they visit the eiffel tower and victor is absentmindedly playing with it when yuuri leans in for the kiss
  • oui oui


  • okay this one is my favorite
  • they go up to finland and stay in one of those hotels where the rooms are outside and have glass ceilings so you can look up and see the northern lights
  • its a really cold night and its snowing a little bit but their room is warm and theyre laying on the bed covered in blankets
  • and they just look straight up and watch the lights
  • yuuri is completely enthralled with how beautiful they are but he looks over at victor and he just has the most enchanted expression
  • the lights are reflecting in his eyes and yuuri just catches his breath bc it doesnt matter how many times he sees him, he is always so floored by how beautiful victor is
  • victor’s just so excited, he keeps looking over at yuuri and laughing and poiting at the sky, he can’t contain how happy he is to be here with yuuri
RS #57 Last Kiss (BIGBANG’s TOP)

a/n: Long-ish and haphazardly written for 3 long days. Based on Taylor Swift’s Last Kiss.

Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance, Oneshot

Warning(s): None (except for the feels)

Present Day

You smiled, standing in front of him, wearing his white shirt repurposed to be yours. A soft wind blew your hair around and you tucked it behind your ear. You looked at the beautiful flowers in front of you before meeting his eyes.

“Hi.” You huddled your knees close to your chest as you sat on the cold marble. “It’s been a long time. I missed you.”

A tear trickled down your face and fell from your jaw. Your heart constricted in your chest at the sight of his face and despite choking on your own tears, you forced yourself to smile.

You have to smile for him.

One month before the incident.

Here you were, back in a hotel room where every hushed whisper and gasp was muffled by the thick walls. Only this time, you were no longer ‘friends’ with TOP. After those long, agonizing months of treating each other as mere sexual relief, you two finally fessed up and confirmed the feelings of each other. It felt like de ja vu, to be lying there and looking at his serene face with only the sheet separating you two, and yet, it was also different.

This time, instead of sleeping on the opposite sides of the bed, your limbs were tangled in an embrace. This time, there were no pretenses, no repressed feelings… only pure adoration and passion. This time and every time from thereon, you no longer just had sex, it would always be real love-making.

His lips twitched and you caught him smiling.

“I know you’re not sleeping.” You whispered, before kissing his neck.

He chuckled and opened his eyes. He looked down at you, his dark hair falling over his eyes. “I know you’re being a creep again.”

“Psh, you wish.” You snorted as you huddled closer to his chest.

He tucked your face in the crook of his neck and you felt his pulse quicken. He saw the bedside clock tick to 1:58 AM and he wrapped his arms around you tighter.

“I love you.” He said in a clear voice.

You pulled away and studied his earnest expression. “What, Oppa?” you almost laughed because this was so unexpected. “What’s gotten into you?”

He rolled over, facing the ceiling and rubbed his eyes. He cursed under his breath, followed with, “I think I need to sit this out.”

Now, he was sitting across from you on the bed with sheets pooled at his waist. You were still laying down. His actions alarmed you, so you pulled the blanket with you as you sat up with him. You touched his knee, watching his expression. “What is it?”

“I need to tell you something and I want you to listen very carefully because I can only say this once.” He let out a huge breath and bit his lip. “I’m gay.”

He immediately earned a slap on his arm as you both laughed.

“I love this,” He raised a hand to your cheek, tracing the end of your smile with his thumb. “…this smile that only I can see and I want to keep it to myself for the rest of my life. I don’t want you to look at anyone else, the way you’re looking at me right now…” he took your hands in his and kissed your knuckles and with his deep voice, he enunciated his next words. “I don’t have a ring, I don’t have anything I can give you right now, but can I ask one thing from you instead?”

While trying your best not to burst into tears, you nodded along.

“Can you say yes to everything that I’m going to ask you from here on?”

You squeezed his fingers as you said, “Yes.”

You both took in a huge breath as he began asking. “Do you love me?”


“Can you see yourself putting up with me for the rest of your life?”


“Can you promise to never get tired of being attached to my life as an idol?”


“If I ask you to marry me, will you say yes?”

You laughed and he felt his nervousness fade away.

“You do realize that you basically asked me, right?” you were still chuckling as tears spilled from the corner of your eyes.

“Just answer!” he scolded you.

“Okay, yes!”

“Y/N,” he bit his lip and inched closer. “…will you—“

“Yes!” you exclaimed.

“I haven’t asked yet!”

“Okay…” you were already hyperventilating as you looked into his eyes, all traces of laughter devoid from both of your faces, only serene smiles.

“Will you marry me?” he breathed out.

“Yes.” You choked out as you launched into his arms, the blanket falling of you. “Yes, Oppa. I will marry you a hundred times if needed be.”

“Yah, we don’t have that much money.” He whispered, pressing his lips against your temple. His hands traveled down and groped you from behind. “Since we’re already engaged, how about some celebratory sex?”

You giggled as he pushed you back against the pillows and kissed you gently, his hands trailing down and the rest was drowned out by your sighs and screams.

5 minutes after the incident.

Your senses were on overdrive. Every sound, every smell, every touch felt so near to you. You moaned as you turned your head towards him, feeling every sound scratch its way out of your throat. The air held the scent of burnt metal and blood, but the most distinct scent you could recognize was the scent of the rain.


The word suddenly manifested itself in your head despite all the overwhelming emotions you were feeling. You heard the rain pour down on the roof of your car and you offered a silent prayer to whoever was sending the rain, preventing the car from completely burning up.

You felt the blood trickle from your forehead as you forced yourself to stay awake.

“Oppa…” you croaked out as your eyes slowly went out of focus. “Wake up…”

“I’m awake.” You heard him reply with a clear voice. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine…” you started seeing clearly for a second and you saw how he was bleeding profusely. “Worry about yourself, babo.”

You heard him choke out a low guffaw. “I guess you’re fine.”

You felt a sensation on your fingers, something hard and cold. Your gaze trailed from his stained shirt to his arms and finally where his hand was trying to hold yours. Your consciousness was slipping by the second and you fought hard to not lose it.

And moments before your weary senses shut down, you heard him say, “I hope we don’t die here, I still want to kiss you one more time.”

Two days after the incident.

You were laying in your hospital bed, your head void of any thought. You were just laying like a corpse when you heard the door slide open. You smiled at the nurse as she hesitantly stepped into the room with a small tray in her hands.

“Nurse Heo,” you greeted her as she stood near your bed. She helped you sit up, setting the tray by your thigh. “…what brings you here? I didn’t request for anything.”

“Here.” She placed the tray on your lap. “These are your belongings. Can you check if everything is there?”

You rummaged through the small pile, all the little items were packaged neatly in zip-lock bags. Your phone, earrings… a ring you cannot recognize. You raised the small plastic bag to your eyes and inspected the ring carefully.

“I don’t think this is mine.” You spoke slowly, unsure of your own words.

“You were wearing it when they brought you in.” She took another look at the ring too to make sure that it was indeed the one. “I know because I was the one who removed it to prepare you for surgery.”

“I… I was wearing it?” you echoed and suddenly recalled TOP holding your hand during the accident. You chuckled, “That bastard… He’s so sly.”

The nurse saw that you were tearing up and she was quick to hand you tissues.

“Nurse Heo, can I go see him?” you pleaded, holding her hands. “I will be very quick and as you can see, I’m doing well.”

“I will ask, but I cannot promise anything.” She squeezed your hands, hoping that it was of any reassurance.

She left the room silently and you were again left alone on the bed, only this time, your thoughts were occupied by the beautiful ring in your hands. You carefully took it from the bag and slipped it on your ring finger. You sighed, feeling that it found where it truly belonged. Your hands curled into fists and your raised the ring to your lips, somehow finding warmth in the way the small piece of metal hugged your finger.

Nurse Heo returned and you were too absorbed to notice. She gave you a warm smile. “They didn’t want to stress you out, especially that they haven’t taken your MRI and CT Scan yet, but they said they could give you 5 minutes.”

“Really?” you were almost ready to jump out of the bed.

“I’ll go get a wheelchair.”

Two days before the incident.

Daesung was laughing so hard that he was having trouble breathing. The other guys were snorting and cheering him on at the same time as they set down their drinks to clap for TOP.

He was tipsy and loose which is probably the reason why he was dancing his signature babo dance. It was so distinct that you once asked him why he hadn’t applied for a copyright yet.

You laughed with them and drank your cocktail, singing along to the words of the song mixed with the EDM beats. The alcohol have delightfully entered your system and all you could feel was glee as you looked at the people who were surrounding you. They were people who were dear to you and Seunghyun who was there to celebrate the engagement after you announced it.

“That’s enough, oppa!” You called as he continued to grace the space with his ‘insane’ dancing skills. “If you keep that up, I might change my mind about marrying you.”

He playfully pouted at you, but kept dancing.

“Just join him, join him.” Youngbae urged you, practically pushing you off your seat.

Seunghyun must have heard because he started stepping towards you to grab your hands as he continued swaying offbeat. You laughed and allowed him to lead you where everybody could see as he twirled you around.

“I don’t know how you can show off when you can’t even dance.” You accused as the both of you sat down and Daesung took your place.

“Excuse me?” he turned to you, his arm secure around your waist. “Says the person who was as bad as I am.”

“Hey, at least I had a sense of rhythm!” you slapped his knee and he smiled, before burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Thanks for riding with my random bursts though.” He whispered, too sincere to be joking.

“In sickness and in health, right?”

He pulled away and glared at you. “Are you saying that I’m sick?”

You raised your fingers and made twirling motions next to your temples. “You’re really sick here.”

He scoffed and you laughed heartily, hoping that every night from then on was as happy as this.

Three weeks before the incident.

He refused to hold your hand and stuffed his in his pockets instead. You peeked at his face and giggled, proceeding to link your arm around his instead. You were walking towards the restaurant where your father was waiting. TOP wanted to personally visit your home, but his schedule wouldn’t allow him to. Besides, your father was the one who wanted to meet him immediately the moment you said that you were engaged.

“Are you seriously nervous?” you laughed at him and his face seemed to scrunch up further. “You’re BIGBANG’s TOP, you were okay performing in world tours, but your hands start sweating when you’re going to meet your fiancée’s dad?”

“Maybe if your dad wasn’t from the navy, I would’ve been less nervous.” He whispered, his low voice going a few octaves lower as he gritted the words through his teeth.

“Don’t worry he’s not going to shoot you in the face in a crowded restaurant.” You snorted as you stood in front of the said restaurant where he seem to have been rooted to his spot.

“So he can shoot me if it wasn’t crowded?” he whispered as he opened the door for you.

“Maybe?” You muttered right back, just in time for your father to come into view.

They stood square in front of each other. TOP held himself well, having learned one or two things from the army and discreetly wiped his hand on his pants before shaking your father’s hand. You introduced them, but your eyes watched the firm grip between two of the most important men in your life.

“Nice to meet you, sir.” His low voice was as charismatic as ever, but you knew he was doing his best to appear strong and reliable in front of your father.

“Nice to meet you too.” Your father replied in his gruff, drill sergeant voice. You giggled and they both turned to look at you.

You sighed, proudly looking at them. “I just… I love you both.”

The tension dropped as they both looked at you in the same manner, with pure adoration and love.

Three days after the incident.

“When will the MRI and CT scan results come out?” you asked, trying to sound cheerful and cutesy.

The male nurse who was transporting you back to your room snickered a little. “Nurse Heo already warned me that you would try to use aegyo to convince me to take you to Patient Choi’s room.”

You clicked your tongue as you rounded in the corner, nearing the nurse’s station.

“But let me ask, since you seem to have magic aegyo.” He whispered and you beamed at him.

He spoke with the head nurse who gave him the go signal, reminding him to check with nurses in that wing before you could enter. They gave 5 minutes again and you muttered a silent ‘thank you’ to the nurse as he propped you near the bed.

You pushed yourself off the wheelchair. Aside from the head injury, broken arm and sprained ankle, you were doing pretty well in comparison to your fiancé who still hasn’t woken up. The doctors did say that it was a waiting game at this point; that despite the successful surgery, whether he wakes up within the week or within the year, it was difficult to say.

“Wake up.” You said and you hoped with all your heart that he could hear you. “You still have to go down on one knee and propose. How can you just casually give me the ring when we were on the verge of dying?”

You leaned closer, observing his face more carefully. You erased the bruises and cuts he received from your vision and imagined that he was just laying down beside you in bed, under the covers and caressed by the low light. Such imagination was short-lived because the smell of sterilizers and the cold air-conditioning immediately tortured your senses.

“I’ll tell you on my dad if you die like this.” You scolded him, your breath fanning against his lips as you hovered over him. You looked at the oxygen tube connected to his nose and remembered how uncomfortable it was. “Don’t you wanna marry me? This is not some hidden camera, for our wedding, right? If you wake up, I promise I’ll look good in my wedding gown and wear nothing under—“

Your words were cut off when your lips touched his. You froze for a second, thinking that you just lost control and kissed him yourself, but a smirk painfully started to take over his lips as he slowly fluttered his eyes open.

“You promised.” He croaked out. “You had me at ‘wear nothing’…”

You wanted to say something, but you just started stuttering, so you gave up and settled with kissing him lightly, yet passionately instead.

“You’re awake…” you breathed and looked marvelously at his face. “You’re back.”

“I…” he struggled with his dry lips. “I have to marry you.”

“Thank you for saving my life.” You smiled as you kissed his forehead. “I love you so much and look, we didn’t die and I get to kiss you like this.”

You leaned in and closed your eyes to retrace his lips with yours. You didn’t know which came first and maybe it was because of the sudden lack of oxygen, but when the nurses found you both, you had collapsed on his chest with tears in your eyes, but a smile on your face.

One month after the incident.

TOP was in the studio with Jiyong, finishing up a track which they both have been absentmindedly working on. TOP’s pen was frozen on top of a notebook as he raked his brain for an inspiration.

There was a knock on the door and Seungri peeped in.

“Busy?” he asked, eyeing both of his hyungs and gauging their reactions.

“Very.” Jiyong answered, teasing the maknae.

“I was just on my to the president’s office and the receptionist asked me to drop this off.” He held up a heavy looking package and passed it to Jiyong.

“It’s for you.” He remarked to TOP as he read the label. “It’s from that photographer.”

TOP took the package and ripped it open. Jiyong and Seungri were spectating, the former acting more nonchalant than the latter. The mysterious package held your wedding photo album with TOP.

He remembered shooting it with you and smiled. You had refused to show him your real wedding gown, emphasizing that it was bad luck, so for the duration of the shoot, you wore fake wedding gowns. He flipped through the album, his grin never leaving his mouth as he recalled the various concepts you tried. You had been very bubbly during the shoot, so the pictures came out well and TOP looked genuinely happy in the photos instead of his usual chic façade.

In the last page however, a photo wrapped in wax paper slipped from the album and fell on the floor. TOP bent to pick it up and carefully opened the smaller gift. It was a black and white photo of you wearing your wedding gown in the wedding salon. You weren’t looking and he could see the clips behind your back as you tried on the dress, but you looked absolutely stunning.

“You do look good in a wedding gown.” He smiled and the two members who were there could only nod in affirmation.

Four days after the incident.

The doctor entered his room for the rounds and checked his vitals. He also checked TOP’s stitches, cast and IV drip. Seunghyun played his role well and listened to the doctor as he reminded Seunghyun to focus on getting himself better. The doctor was about to say goodbye, but he traced his steps back to TOP.

“I know that you’re refusing visits, but I think you should really take this one.” He advised and headed towards the door to open it for his visitor.

It was your dad.

He strode wordlessly inside the room and took the seat beside TOP. He looked tired, but his face is solemn.

“Are you feeling better?” your father asked with a clenched jaw. “Can you stand?”

“I could with help, Sir.” He sighed. “How is she? What happened? Why did she collapse?”

“There was some kind of internal bleeding in her brain that the doctors weren’t able to see.” He remarked, avoiding Seunghyun’s eyes. “I honestly cannot understand what they were saying, but she’s in the ICU now and if you can stand, I obtained permission for you to visit her.”

The moment the words dropped from your father’s mouth, he wanted to run to your side, but he couldn’t and during the whole process his mind flew to you. The way you smiled at him the moment he opened his eyes kept replaying in his head.

His breath hitched when he saw you laying on a bed, various wires were connected to your head and chest and yet, he thought you looked as beautiful as ever. A nurse stood behind him to assist him as he approached you.

“Y/N-ah.” He began, his voice cracking from behind his face mask. “Baby, open your eyes, hm? I thought you wanna marry me. I woke up for you, so will you please wake up for me?”

It was difficult with his crutches, but he managed to balance himself on one foot to gently put his hand over yours. “I want to marry you, Y/N-ah. If you wake up now, we can get married here. As long as you become my wife… Please, I want you to stay.”

Your reply came in the manner of the rapid beating of the monitors as the numbers on it fluctuated irregularly. TOP was immediately shoved out of the room as doctors and nurses flooded in.

TOP regained his senses when he was already sitting in his room and the silence filled his ears. It was then that he realized that his whole body was being raked with tremors and that his vision had already been blurred out by tears. Suddenly, the room wasn’t so silent anymore because the void had been filled by the sound of his own sobs.

Five minutes before the incident.

His hand dropped from the gear stick and landed on your knee. You side-glanced at his expression, but he simply kept his eyes on the road. You kept watching him as he opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated and closed it again. You laced your fingers with his and this time, he glanced at you briefly.

“What?” he chuckled and you laughed right back.

“You, what? You’re the one who had something to say.” You accused and he can’t help but grip your hand a little tighter because you were spot-on.

“It’s been so long since we went driving like this and not to mention we’re visiting the wedding hall.” He replied with a smile.

“So?” you prodded on with a raised eyebrow.

“This is crazy, really.” He breathed out. “I was just thinking, do you want to just get married now?”

“So you mean, we’ll drop the ceremony, the suit, the gown and all of our guests and just visit the registration office to get married?” he couldn’t see your face, but your tone became straighter.

“We can still have the ceremony, but I just can’t wait for you to be my wife and I want it to happen as soon as possible.” He stopped at the light and looked at your blank face. You weren’t answering, so he simply let go of your hand and grabbed the wheel again. “No, it’s okay. I understand.”

“That white shirt in the back is yours, right? I’m going to wear it.” You remarked, completely out of context as you looked at his face intently.

He tried to keep his expression even, ignoring the fact that you rejected his sudden proposal. “Why?”

“I should at least wear white to my wedding, right? Also, oppa… do you even have a ring for me?” You faced in front again, feeling his gaze on your face as you playfully pouted. You held in a smile and said haughtily, “Why aren’t you turning around? Don’t you want to get married?”

He looked at you to see if you were joking, but you grinned at him and he leaned over to place a loud smack on your lips. “You can’t take it back!” he leaned back with a satisfied glaze over his eyes as your laughter sang in his ears.

The light turned green and rain started to fall.

The incident.

Choi Seunghyun, the driver, was making a u-turn. He saw the truck speeding towards their direction and its trajectory was going to hit the passenger’s side, where his fiancée was sitting. He spun the car and the truck ended up hitting the rear end of Choi’s car. According to the witnesses, the car spun around a few more times, before it hit the concrete barrier where the responding medical aid found the two. The drunk driver of the beverage truck have already been apprehended and the company have promised to cover all of the hospital expenses. Choi Seunghyun and his companion were rushed to Taesung Hospital and were reported to be recovering from severe injuries.

This was the story in the papers the following day.

Present day.

You continued to smile for him, but he didn’t smile back. He never did. He would just come and talk, leaving beautiful flowers behind. He never saw you, of course. How could he? You two were not living in the same world anymore.

In fact, you were not living at all.

Exactly 5 years before, you died from the internal bleeding in your brain. You were buried in his shirt, as per his request, alluding to your words minutes before the incident.

You recalled these now as he looked at your picture which was sitting on top of the cold grave.

“You must be sulking because I’ve been coming less often.” He began, folding his hands. “I have a reason and that is… I’m getting married.”

You gasped.

“She’s beautiful and kind and smart. She’s different from you, but also the same. You were your own kind, of course.” He chuckled, as if he remembered an amusing episode in your relationship. He stepped closer and placed something below your photo. It was your ring. “I thought for a long time and I realized that I needed to return that to you. It’s yours and it will always be yours, just like that piece of my heart that has loved you for all these time. I still love you.”

You placed a hand over your mouth out of habit. TOP would never hear you.

“I would be lying if I said that I stopped. It’s just that I have learned to accept how things turned out and I think I can finally take a shot at happiness again.” He turned to the sun which was beginning to splash colors into the late afternoon. “It’s a beautiful day. I hope you’re somewhere as beautiful. I hope you watch over me. I hope you’re happy. You have to be happy because if you’re not I don’t know what I would with myself. I do know, maybe not in this life, but somewhere else or in another time, we will meet again. This is not the last part of our story.”

You looked at the sun and for the first time, you felt a sliver of its warmth. You looked at Seunghyun’s face for the last time and hoped, like he did, that you will meet again. The warmth took over and you were slowly swallowed by the light of the setting sun.

Sometimes you want something,
like a beautiful flower hidden behind the glass.
You can’t touch the flower.
You can’t hold it
But you are mesmerized by its beauty
And in your mind you to start to believe
That flower might love you back
That somehow it might even belong to you
And then the janitor taps your shoulder
And you know that you were wrong.
—  ‘Flower Glass’ – by Word of Chen
Lost in Translation - (Chapter 8) Sehun Scenario

Queesting (Dutch)
Inviting a lover into your bed for some pillow talk.

It was two days after the dance when the flowers began arriving at your house.
You awoke to the sound of your confused mother talking to the delivery man at the door, insisting that she didn’t order flowers. You rubbed your eyes willing them to open, before rolling out of bed and onto your feet. Pulling on your dressing gown you pattered down the stairs to see what was going on.
“No it’s a delivery for Miss __.”
Upon hearing your name you paused at the bottom of the stairs, your mother’s head turning around, her face distorting into a quizzical look. You shrugged apprehensively before thanking the delivery man and closing the door. Your mother was hot on your heels, following behind you as you went to find a vase.
The flowers were beautiful. A bursting bouquet of tulips, all different shades of pink and purple held together by a sleek silver ribbon. You noticed the note attached and tried to dodge your mother’s prying eyes from reading it.
Scrambling out of the kitchen you took the note back up to your room. You closed the door of your bedroom and leant against it, eyes on the note.

“I want to get old with you
I want to hold your hand while we get wrinkled and our bones start creaking
I want to race down shopping aisles with you
I want to ride bikes and watch movies and paint sunsets with you
and although right now it’s a no
I’ll wait forever to be able to hear you say
“Alright let’s go to bed”” - Anonymous.

Your voice was no more than a whisper as you read it. You didn’t have to guess who Anonymous was this time - you knew.
But you simply couldn’t forgive him just because of a romantic message. No. You couldn’t just erase the hurt he caused you.
“One bouquet Sehun? You’re gonna have to try harder.”

It was as if he was telepathic because the next morning, you once again awoke to the same delivery man arriving with an even larger bouquet of flowers. This time however the flowers were pure white gardenias.
“Someone must really like you.” The man commented and you smiled weakly before bidding him goodbye. You didn’t bother to read the note this time.

The flowers came again the next morning, and the next. You flopped onto your bed with a groan, lying face down into the sheets. It was later in the night now and you had spent the entire day doing school work. You rubbed your aching temples as you looked at the large vase of white flowers. You sighed and returned to smothering your face in the bed. Suddenly a familiar tune filled your ears, getting louder. You finally recognised it as one of your favourite bands. You looked around your room in search of where the music was coming from figuring you had left your iPod on. But after failing to find the source, you realised it was coming in through your open bedroom window. Cautiously you walked towards your window and looked out, your eyebrows raising in surprise at the image you saw. Sehun stood shivering in the middle of your garden, clearly struggling to raise a stereo halfway above his head which was blasting your favourite song. Your mouth fell open. His eyes frantically searched the house for any sign to tell him which room was yours. Seeing you, he moved closer to the house and yelled “I thought this would be a really romantic gesture, you know, because guys always do it in movies but I’m freezing my fucking balls off.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at him.
“Come in you idiot.” You said and his face broke into a smile. Tip toeing downstairs you silently unlocked the door, afraid to make any noise to awake your sleeping parents. If your dad caught you in the act of sneaking a boy into your room in the middle of the night, Sehun wouldn’t be a problem anymore because your dad would kill him. You felt Sehun’s hand ghost over your hip as you two tried to successfully make your way up the stairs in the dark. Finally you managed to make it to your room without waking your mum and dad. You closed the door behind Sehun and you took into account his appearance whilst he rubbed his arms, acclimatising from the cold wind outside. Instead of his usual skinny jeans that seemed to be spray painted on, he was wearing sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. Tearing your eyes away you sheepishly looked up at him to see if you had been caught. However, Sehun stared around the room in awe.
“You’re acting as if you’ve never been in a female’s bedroom before.” You whispered, sitting down on the bed.
“I know, but none of them have been your bedroom.” He replied, his gentle whisper cutting through the air. You rolled your eyes at his comment but you couldn’t help but feel a blush creeping its way on to your cheeks.
The room suddenly fell silent and you stared at your hands. You felt the bed shift under Sehun’s weight as he sat down beside you.
“I meant what I said you know.” He began.
“And I know it will probably take a long time before you forgive me for how much of a dick I’ve been but I just wanted to let you know that I’ll wait for you, however long it takes.”
You nodded awkwardly not knowing what to say, before meeting his gaze. The distance between you began to diminish as Sehun moved closer to you.
“Tell me to stop and I will.” He spoke softly, his hot breath hitting off your lips as he spoke. But you said nothing because no matter how he had treated you in the past, the burning intensity in your chest told you that you wanted this. This was right. Closing the distance between you two, your eyes fluttered closed, lips meeting his. His lips were soft and you seemed to meld into him. Snaking an arm around your waist protectively, he laid you down and your back hit the bed gently. Adrenaline rushed through you veins as you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck. Eventually he pulled away, breathless. He looked down at you with love filled eyes and you swore your heart fell out of your body.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered against your lips and you caught him again in a kiss, surprising him. You could feel him smile into it and you did too. “Let’s go to bed” you said and his face broke out in a smile once again.
The rest of the night was spent with you cuddled next to Sehun, your head on his chest as he drew circles on your bare arm. He knew he would have to sneak out again once the rays of morning broke, but right now he didn’t care.


Brandon Flowers, Right Behind You, at  Webster Hall, NYC 3/24/2015

I’m right behind you
In the light of hope
I’ll be beside you
On that dusty road
And if you get blind, well that’s alright
Wicked winds blow with grace and might
Cling to the ways of my name
When you touch the stone …


Okay so I was scrolling around tumblr and someone has asked what kind of flowers were behind the nutcracker in the picture above (if you asked that and are reading this, woohoo!)

So at first they appeared to me as some sort of lily, but as I got to looking at it more, I recognized this as the hibiscus flower.

The symbolism behind this particular flower? It is usually related to femininity, delicate nature,beauty, and just women in general. Kinda fits considering how the nutcracker wanted to be beautiful. Well played Ishida, well played…

There was a certain beauty behind the way we carried ourselves together. We looked at one another like there was no one else in the world that could ever wreak our love. We touched with such unbelievable passion that I felt my nerves electrifying from the simple touch of your delicate fingers on my skin. We needed to kiss like how a beautiful flower needs sunlight and water to survive. Our love was quite beautiful.
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