behind the back pass

Witch au in the fahc universe

Edit because I should have put this stuff in the post and not the tag:   storm/weather witch Michael who creates lightning to strike people down or a tornado to wreck the streets behind them to help lose the cops

Animal witch Ryan who lets loose animals in the zoo and convinces them to tear apart someone once he’s done with them, it’s an easy way to dispose bodies

Jack who uses her magic to heal them just enough until they can get to Caleb. She’s a white witch and her magic is suppose to be used for good and it is. It helps Geoff when he’s stressed over a heist and Ryan when he can’t sleep. It help Michael control his magic when he’s pissed and keeps Gavin from fainting when he has to use his magic. It helps Jeremy keep from getting too anxious about a job especially in the beginning and herself when things get to much and she needs to keep herself sane and calm. It helps them all from going mad when someone gets captured. 

time/fire witch Geoff who turns back time when something goes horribly horribly wrong and one of them dies and lights shit up when need be

Necromancy  Jeremy who gets ghost to help distract people and bring people just long enough when he’s not finished with them. Jeremy can only bring somebody back for so long before it drains him and they aren’t fully back to themselves they’re, well, a zombie which is why Geoff has to turn back time instead of Jeremy just bringing them back. 

Blood witch Gavin who hates his magic and only uses it when he has to

Garden witch Mica who makes vines grow from the ground to tie people up

Space witch Trevor who creates black holes and stars just hot enough to burn a person when Geoff isn’t around to do it

Eclectic Witch Lindsay who is basically the crew Jack of all trades 

Creation witch Matt who makes new weapons and vehicles for the crew

and divination witch steffie who they all go to before a job to see how it goes

Another edit because something was pointed out by @whatdoyewant :  ryan using mangy cats and dogs, wild forgotten things that prowl the alleys and scrap for scraps. who are starved and half crazed and more wild than any zoo animal. zoos are precious conservation programs with rare species that are well taken care of, and he wouldn’t touch them. He’d summon the cats left behind, the dogs who ran from fighting rings and abuse, the rats that fill every crack of every dilapidated apartment and every sewer.

Thank you very very much!

Imagine Dean walking in on you interrogating Castiel.

Tags under the cut.

“Oh, look who we have here. Mr. Angel of the Lord himself, Castiel.”

You shift the angel blade between your hands.

Castiel looks up from his lap, his blue eyes widen and concentrate on the blade as you pass his side and settle behind his back.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” You whisper into his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Oh, that’s right. You can’t talk, huh?” Smirking, you stroke your fingers against the gray fabric you gagged around his mouth.

“That’s fine,” you grip a handful of the angel’s brown hair, gaining a muffled groan from him. Pulling his head back, his eyes look up at you with a certain fire. Taking the angel blade, you caress Castiel’s face with it carefully and immediately notice the large bulge pressing against the angel’s slacks. You were about to comment on his apparent arousal when the bedroom door swings open.

“Hey guys, I made burgers for lun-” Dean’s eyes widen as he looks from the angel blade pressed against Castiel’s face and to the effectiveness it had on the angel.

“It’s called knocking, Dean!” You yell, removing the blade from Castiel’s face.

“It’s called using the damn lock!” The hunter slams the door shut behind him yelling out loud to his brother, “SAMMY! THEY’RE DOING THEIR KINKY SHIT AGAIN! DON’T GO IN THERE!”

You rush to the door and make sure it’s properly locked before turning to your boyfriend.

“You were suppose to make sure it was lock Castiel,” shaking your head in disapproval, you leisurely walk over to him, twirling the blade in your hand. You straddle the blue eyed man, feeling him harden against your inner thigh. He tries to maintain a stern expression, but jerking your hips forward breaks his composure.

Cas smirked motioning for you to remove the gag from his mouth and when you do his voice comes out in a low growl, “I guess you’ll have to punish me then, honeybee.”

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I feel sick so sick. Our government is enforcing its awful rule. There are protests in front of government. Ppl asked how they judge the work of the government: 50 % said they’re horrible and only 4 %said they’re great. That’s a sign. Because right now there’s shit going down in Polish politics. We’re getting invigilated, mothers with dead babies are signed in just in case for future reference bc what if she aborted her baby??? Also there are prolife majors getting opened in some unies? Like it’s stupid and insane?
The government is passing harmful changes behind our back during the night. They don’t want the media to see them so they changed the law in a way that the press can get to only some places, they can’t monitor the work of the government.
I want to cry. I’m feeling so disgusted. What is going on here? We were at such a good place, in the EU, growing economically even tho we still stay conservative but it was slowly changing. Now it’s all getting destroyed. Our government is breaking our Constitution.
I’m fucking crying. Ppl probably won’t care about it anyway since we’re not the UK or the US but just if you read that, thank you. It means a lot to me

“God, he really just creeps me out.”

Hannibal paused, stopping to listen to two of his employees talking.

“I know, right? The way he won’t look anyone in the eye and he smells like cheap cologne and dog fur.”

He frowned, trying to guess at who they spoke of. He didn’t know all of his employees but Lecter Inc was a large company. Still, talking ill behind someone’s back was quite rude.

“I heard that he actually passed out in the break room last week, claiming some fake sick thing,” the one employee, Della he remembered, said.

The other woman he didn’t know, though her red hair was hard to forget.

“He passed out? You think he’s anorexic?”

They both laughed and Hannibal had finally had enough. “Ladies I will not tolerate this rudeness in my company, please pack your things as your last day is today.”

Both women turned red when he came around the corner, the redhead glaring, “But sir…”

Hannibal said loudly, “I know you heard me, and I hope the person you were ridiculing was not within earshot.”

Della mumbled, “Fucking Will Graham,” as she started to pick up her desk.

Hannibal went back to his office and typed in the name, shocked when a gorgeous vision of curls appeared on his screen.

Apparently Will Graham worked in the accounting department.

He typed up an email to Will Graham stating.

Dear Mr. Graham,

It has come to my attention that I need to donate to a charity for the holiday. I have been informed that you are the person to ask if I want to donate to the ASPCA this season, and to a number of local animal shelters. If you could meet me this evening in my office I would be most appreciated.

Hannibal Lecter

He stared at the email, smiling to himself. A man who others thought smelled so much of dog would be overjoyed at his idea to donate to an animal organization.

It would not be hard to seduce Will Graham.

The response he got was immediate.

Mr. Lecter,

Here are last year’s charity amounts and here are some links to the best way to maximize your exposure for the company. I hope this is information enough for you.

Will Graham

Hannibal frowned.

This was unacceptable.

He thought of how rude Will Graham was being throughout the remainder of the day, growing angrier with each passing hour. By the time he saw it was five o'clock he had been thinking long enough.

Hannibal stood up, ignoring the people who attempted to nod congenially to him as they left for the evening. When he got to Will Graham’s cubicle he was ready to announce himself when he froze staring at the man in front of him.

Will was sound asleep laying his head on a laptop wearing a Santa Claus hat, his soft features making Hannibal’s anger instantly melt away. He had a pair of glasses on the desk in front of him and he saw the email that he’d sent was printed and hung on Will’s bulletin board.

There were also articles about himself alongside it, information of his charitable contributions and his company.

Hannibal smiled slyly.

Will Graham was not being rude.

He was hiding from him.

He saw a photos of a what could only be described as a pack of dogs alongside the articles of himself and mentally filed that away for later use. He saw a half eaten chicken sandwich from a horrible fast food restaurant beside Will and knew that just would not do.

Silently he took a piece of printer paper and wrote with Will’s pen:

I am sorry to be working you so hard that you fall asleep at your workspace. I will inform human resources they are putting too many things on you and should delegate things more fairly to others in tote department. I look forward to meeting you when you are awake.

Also, that hat is very becoming on you.

Hannibal Lecter

He put the note by Will’s face and could not resist the urge to run his fingers through those lovely locks.

Hannibal smiled, picturing Will’s reaction upon waking.

This should be fun.


“I just want a ship out of this flowery hell! Is that so much to ask?!”

The sniffling of the Xaela had left him worse for wear, agitation setting in as the pollen was causing another sneeze to build up within him. 

“The shroud is beautiful and you’re just being a big baby!” The elegant Elezen responded with a stern point of her finger. His attitude had only gotten worse since the journey began. 

The sound of a thud hitting the deck behind her causing her to look back in a panic, the Xaela passing out upon the wooden surface with glazed over eyes. Groans coming from deep in his chest before he lifted up his right hand and mustered up. “Just put me out of my misery!” 

(Got to hang out with the beautiful @nebula1984 today in the shroud. Had to put Richter through a little bit of hell, but to spend time with her beautiful Elezen is ever worth it.) 

New Snowden Revelations

In a Q&A for the new Oliver Stone biopic, Edward Snowden revealed several new facts that world governments didn’t want you to know. Here they are:

  • Vladimir Putin’s favorite movie is “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.”
  • The Clinton Foundation was once used to launder money earned from the sale of smuggled yak testicles.
  • There are two Barack Obamas. The twins have pretended to be a single man for 55 years and both were sworn in as president. There are also two Bob Sagets but nobody cares.
  • The NSA has resorted to “low tech” spy solutions to monitor computer savvy American citizens, including periscopes, peepholes, and passing notes about people behind their backs. This is how they verified that Kimmy has a crush on Wilbur and totally wants to kiss him.
  • There is a government agency devoted to monitoring Tumblr accounts for secret information. Known in Washington as the least effective agency in the history of the country, 98% of their agents have been caught simply scrolling through cat blogs and participating in Tumblr drama. The other 2% had never come in to work.
  • Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito is a Hungarian spy. His appointment by George W. Bush was a finely crafted operation by Információs Hivatal to insert an agent into the American Supreme Court. All his actions have been in the interest of Hungary, including his support of religious freedom in kindergarten, and insistence on federal (not state) rulings on health insurance. It is unknown why Hungary cares about these issues here.
  • SpongeBob Squarepants is an alien broadcast from Neptune. It just started in 1999 and Nickelodeon keeps airing it.
Personifying Functions pt 2: Fe

Dominant Fe: The one friend who comments on everyone’s facebook posts and makes sure to invite you to every group chat every. They know how important it is to feel included, and knows how to keep a conversation going. Basically the mom friend. 

Auxiliary Fe: Your best friend from fourth grade, they would always be there for you, even if all you wanted to do was talk about caterpillars. They knew what they had to do to make you smile, but for the most part, were passively supportive. 

Tertiary Fe: A misguided seventh grader with their hopes set high on getting in with the Cool Kids, and struggling to come to the terms that they’re too much of a misfit to do so. Although they aim big, they have no shame in hanging with their “uncool” friends. They can’t leave them. 

Inferior Fe: The popular kid who passed that note about you behind your back. /You/ know it’s not true, but try telling that to the /world/. They’re only there to tear you down and get all flustered about that one kid you most certainly DID NOT have a crush on (ok, maybe a little). BUT /STILL/.

The time that Blaine starred in a Broadway musical uwu

Meet you at the restaurant. Love you. XO Kurt.

Arms full of bouquets wafting floral aromas underneath his nose, Blaine smiles at his phone as he descends the stairway of the theater with his bag bouncing at his hip. Signing out, somebody passes behind him and claps him on the back. There are murmurs of congratulations, a flurry of hugs, and echoes of pride as people commend him on his opening night.

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I sometimes get worried when marrinette and Adrien transform/untransform un public places.

For example in this episode Adrien transformed behind the school’s entrance without giving a second thought that there might be someone behind him passing by. 

Or when Marinette came back from her mission and jumped straight to her room in her  as ladybug.

Girl your parent’s could have been in the room just to check on you or something.

He’s getting married but not to you (part two)
Luke was staring at the girl in the white dress walking down the isle. The veil was covering her face and for a moment, Luke imagined you walking toward him. Lost in thought he smiled, before snatching back into reality, realizing once he lifted the veil, it wouldn’t be you.
For the past couple of days he couldn’t shake the feeling off his chest that he was making a mistake. And a big one too. But that moment as he saw movement in the corner of his eyes and watched you hurry out of the church it hit him.
For a second he locked eyes with his big brother jack, who smiled at him slyly, before mouthing: “Go!”
Just as you slipped out of the door, completely oblivious to what was happening behind your back, Luke chased after you, mumbling a sorry as he passed the girl in white standing halfway down the isle.
“No! Hemmings, don’t you dare walk out that church! You are going to seal the deal now! Get your ass back up there and marry me for fucks sake. I’m not going to let you leave now, after everything I put up with.”
Luke turned around looking at her in shock.
“That’s all I am to you, aren’t i? A deal, a business deal to give you a headstart in your career. That’s why you were so eager to marry me. All you want is my money and a reputation as my wife. You don’t care the first thing about me.”
A second later Calum was by his side, followed by his other two best men mikey and ash.
“I didn’t want to day anything, but Luke it’s true. She tried the same with me. I’m sorry I should have told you earlier, but I thought she truly cared about you. Luke just nodded at Calum before turning around to look at his ex.
“I think we’re done here.”
And Luke rushed out the church, his three best friends having his back.
Your car was already gone as Luke reached the parking lot.
“Here take my car!”
Ash yelled throwing him the key.
“Where is he going?”
Mikey asked confused.
“Chasing his dream.”
“I thought the band was his dream.”
Mikey continued.
“Guess we’re only second best from now on.”
Calum chuckled and Luke grinned jumping into the car, followed by his mates.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like? We’re coming!”
“Guys I really appreciate it but…”
“Luke shut up and drive! The bitch’s father is coming for us.”
Calum yelled and Luke raced out on the street, knowing exactly where to go.
“What are you going to say to her?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Wait guys, who are we talking about here?”
Michael asked still confused.
“Really mikey? How can you possibly be so oblivious? Y/N!”
“Y/N? But she’s at the church.”
“No she ran out.”
“So she loves him too?”
“That’s what we’re hoping otherwise this is going to be hell as awkward.”
“Thanks guys.”
Luke said sarcastically already getting nervous. By the time he pulled up on the side of the road by the park you loved to go to think, he was already shaking.
The boys hopped out of the car after him, willing to come along, but he stopped them.
“This I have to do alone, but thank you for everything.”
“Of course man, we’ll be waiting here.”
Luke nodded absentmindedly already heading off. Luke was running, no he was sprinting, needing to get to you.
His heart sunk as you weren’t there. He had been so sure you would come here. This was your go to spot. Where else could you be?
He was about to turn around when his eyes fell on a pair of lilac heels at the bottom of a tree.
“Of course.”
Luke thought to himself, a smile appearing on his face as he saw your small figure in the tree looking in the far. His heart broke seeing you tear stained cheeks and as much as he hated climbing trees within seconds he was by your side.
“LUKE?!” You yelped surprised nearly falling off, but his strong arms held you tightly.
“What are you doing here?”
“Why did you run out of my wedding?”
“Where is your wife?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you hated her?”
“Why are you even with her?”
“Because for once you didn’t hate my girlfriend. For once you accepted her as the girl on my side, so I thought she had to be something special.”
“But I don’t. I think she’s using. I just tried to be the bigger person and let you make you own decisions.”
“Is that why you ran out? Or is there maybe some other reason you didn’t want me to get married to her.”
“Luke what does it matter? It’s not like my opinion changes your feelings or the fact that you’re married.”
“See that’s where your wrong. At two things actually. First I didn’t get married.”
“You didn’t?”
“And second.”
“It does make a difference, because your opinion might not change my feelings, because they are already there and have been for a whole while now, but all you have to do is say the word and I’m yours. Actually scratch that I’m already yours, but I just left my own wedding for you and crawled up a tree just to get to you and it’s romantic as hell and because I’m begging you to love me back, please y/n. As much as I am yours, will you be mine?”
For a second you question how much you did drink last night, but seeing the look on Luke’s face you realized he did love you.
“I love you back.”
“Oh thank god!” Luke breathed out relieved before leaning in and finally for the first time ever kissing you.