I’ve been thinking about this awhile and basically if you are a boy or a man or whatever and you don’t want to be a dick there is an easy rule to follow.

Don’t talk about girls. Don’t talk about about us. Don’t talk about what you want us to do or how we should behave or what you think we like or what we should look like. Don’t talk to your loser friends about what you wanna do to us, don’t make songs about creepily watching us have fun just don’t.

Just stop 

It’s weird. We are human beings not mysteries to be solved or tasks to conquer.

We are not your business.

This whole “Maya became Riley” thing was already full of gaping holes and contradictions to start with, but Riley’s assertion in SDLM about Maya “caring when she used to be Riley” is so obviously false it’s not even funny.

As recently as Jexica and Triangle, Maya quite clearly didn’t care what anybody outside of her close friends and family thought of her/whether they liked her or not. In Jexica, she behaves the EXACT OPPOSITE of Riley in terms of worrying about people in general liking her. In Triangle, Riley thinks Maya doesn’t care enough about what the art teacher said, ergo she “became Riley.”

So what is the truth?

Regardless of who you ship or stan, these contradictions are super obvious. So, reasonably, one has to conclude that either:

(A) Michael Jacobs, who has been writing theatre/TV longer than pretty much the entire fandom has been alive, doesn’t know what he’s doing or,

(B) Riley didn’t listen to Maya’s side (Sassy Halter Top), was clinging to an outdated childhood version of Maya (Bear), was caught up on the surface-level look of things instead of digging deeper for what was really going on/the authentic story (GLONY), plus she was trying to control everything (SDLM) and in so doing all of the above, she majorly misinterpreted and mishandled the situation. (Which leads to other characters doing the same.)

And please don’t come at me acting like blatant narrative contradictions within the space of a few episodes are the same thing as not caring about precise birth dates or school grades. Time may be a bit wibbly wobbly in BMW/GMW land, but that doesn’t mean Jacobs & Co are sloppy, inattentive writers across the board when it comes to the actual ongoing plot. They aren’t. And if you really think they’re just sloppy, bad writers…why on earth do you care enough about the show to be reading a superfan’s account in the first place? 🙃

Sweet Torture

@moghraidhjamie asked: Jamie did a THING where he really really turned Claire on before they had to go somewhere public, leaving her all hot and bothered. So as revenge she gives him a hand job under the table and he has to keep a straight face.

Smutterday is TECHNICALLY tomorrow and everything else I’m writing will be put in my queue. BUT, since @moghraidhjamie did such a fantastic job in her workshop today and because she’s had a long week, I’m posting this one today. Have a fun time! I certainly did!

“Jamie? Can you help me?”

He came out of the bathroom, the fabric of his kilt swinging, and helped zip up the back of my dress. I felt one finger drift up the back of my neck. It had taken nearly an hour to get my hair to behave, all pinned up and rather elegant.

“Ye look verra bonny, mo chridhe.”

“Thank you. I have to say it’s been some time since you’ve worn your kilt.”

“Aye, it has. Feels good to be in it again.”

“I wish we had more time.”

I turned around and took a good look at him. He’d gone all out, as any true born Scot would for a formal occasion. I knew he was smiling at me. The last time he’d worn his kilt, I’d jumped him on the spot. It was made easier by him not wearing anything beneath it.

“More time?” he asked, eyes glittering. “And what would ye need more time for, Sassenach?”

I walked up to him and smoothed his hair back.

“More time to ravish you,” I said quietly.

“Och we’ve had a quick one now an’ then, ye ken.”

“Oh yes, I know that. But with you in your kilt and nice coat… No, I’d take my time about it.”

“Yer time… Ye’d go slow, then?”

“Yes. Until you begged me to ride you hard.”

He bent his neck and kissed me long and slow until my lungs burned. I’d need to fix my lipstick now, but the taste o him was worth it.

“Tell me. What would ye do?”

Another kiss with his hands on my buttocks had me standing even closer to him.

“I’d play with you under your kilt because of the simple fact that I could.”

“Would ye stroke me? Wi’ those soft hands o’ yours?”


But I couldn’t speak. He’d pulled the hem of my dress up and thrust his hand between my legs. If my hands hadn’t been on his shoulders already, I would have fallen to the ground. We might ave been talking about my hands stroking him, but he’d reversed the roles now.

“Ye’d go slow, would ye? Is that what ye like, Sassenach?”

“No it isn’t and you bloody well know it.”

“Aye. I ken what ye like. But if I’m slow about it, ye’ll make that sweet sigh.”

My eyes fluttered closed as his fingers probed me expertly. He truly was a quick learner, using his dextrous fingers to pleasure me when time (or circumstance) didn’t allow for more.


“Aye, like that. Only sweeter.”

“J-Jamie, we don’t have time for — Oohhh!”

“Closer. Had we the time, mo nighean donn, I’d take ye slow. Ye struggle against me when I do. I’d pleasure ye until ye shook in my arms. Take yer breast into my mouth until ye make that little squeak.”
“I do not… squeak!”

“Aye, ye dow,” he said, moving one finger roughly.

I shook.

It wouldn’t be horrible if we were late… But it would. Willie was family.

“Come on, Sassenach. We’ve a wedding to attend.”

My dress fell back into place and I staggered backward onto the bed. Jamie watched me curiously, a hint of a smile lurking in the corners of his mouth.

“You bastard,” I muttered, standing on shaking legs.

“That’s no’ verra nice to say about your beloved husband.”

“Neither is leaving me like this. Please, you can’t just stop!”

“I must, I’m afraid. Or we’ll be late for Willie’s wedding and never hear the end o’ it.”

Giving him my very best glare, I took his arm and we went out to the car and drove to the wedding. I stewed silently in the passenger seat, absolutely refusing to look at him.

It was truly a lovely wedding. It was obvious to anyone who looked that Willie was head over heels for his new wife Erin. They made a beautiful pair, I thought. He never stopped smiling throughout the whole ceremony.

When the reception finally began, Jamie and I took our assigned seats. Our table was rather full, though most of them seemed to be. The Mackenzie clan had come out in full force for the event. Outside the Highland Games, I’d never seen so many men in kilts.

Our table had Jamie and I, plus Murtagh and his French girlfriend Suzette. Angus and Rupert had come without dates, though there was talk that Rupert had a secret girlfriend. Even Collum and his wife Letitia were at our table. As we chatted companionably, a familiar face walked by.

“Ned!” I called.

He turned and smiled ate everyone. We stole a chair from another table and insisted that he join us. Jamie’s arm was draped around the back of my chair as he leaned back comfortably in his own.

I was still on fire after his touch, desperately needing him. Watching him laugh, I got an idea. It was risky, but perhaps I could pay him back for his earlier disservice.


“Ye canna be serious,” Jamie laughed, throwing his head back.

“Aye! I am!” Angus said.

“Wille didna ask YOU for advice on his wedding night.”

“And why not? I’ve more experience than he has.”

Something beneath the table stirred the hem of his kilt, but he didn’t really pay attention.

“All you have experience wi’ is paying lasses to bed wi’ ye,” Rupert retorted.

The stirring beneath the table could have been a draft from an open door. Until something grabbed his balls.

He lurched forward, his knee hitting the bottom of the table with a loud crack.

“Everything alright, nephew?” Collum said.

“Oh! Aye, uncle. I thank ye.”

Claire was speaking with Suzette animatedly about a French pastry of some sort. Her left hand moved through the air while she spoke, as if nothing else was happening. Claire adjusted her chair and sat closer to him. Before he could stop her, she took a strong hold of his cock and began to stroke him.

“Jamie! Are ye up for a game of shinty later? We bet Willie he couldna beat us,” Angus said.

“Ah… Ah, no. I dinna think so.”

“Have ye lost yer nerve, lad?” Rupert asked. “Since when have ye no’ played shinty?!”

“You should play,” Claire said. “He’s right. It’s been too long since you last had a game.”

“Aye,” Angus said, leaping on the fact that Claire was on board. “And when ye get injured, ye can have your lovely wife to doctor ye!”

Claire’s smile turned wicked, but he doubted anyone else could tell.

“Doesn’t that sound like fun, love?”

The hand beneath the table tightened and pulled a little harder. He stifled a groan, letting it out rather as a grunt. Everyone looked at him oddly, but he smiled and played it off.

“Well, I suppose. If ye dinna mind it, Sassenach. But ye ken how these things go.”
“Yes,” she smiled without ceasing her torture. “I’ve seen you play before.”

“Just be glad Dougal isna here,” Rupert said after he belched. “Or we’d have a dirty game and no doubt.”

What amazed Jamie was Claire’s perfect ability to hold coherent conversation with everyone around her. And the fact that no matter what her hand was doing to him (and sweet Christ her hand was amazing), there was no evidence of it anywhere on her.

He did his best to speak with his family and friends at the table. Angus was staring at him, his small beady eyes narrowed.

Claire’s hand was moving a little harder now, his heart thudding hard against his chest. If she would just twist her hand a little and tug just like that he’d—

“Oh!” Claire exclaimed, clapping both hands together. “I love this song! Jamie, come dance with me!”


Her whiskey eyes shone with mischief as she stood. He glared up at her.

“Will you not dance with the lass, Jamie?” Ned asked.

“Ah, no. Not at the moment. I apologize, Sassenach.”

“Well then, if you’re too daft to dance wi’ your own wife, I humbly offer myself in your place.”

“Thank you Ned,” Claire smiled. “It seems you and young Willie are the only gentlemen left around here.”

The table roared with laughter as she was escorted away. Angus was suddenly sitting beside him, a big dopy grin on his face.

“Claire’s quite a woman, is she no?”

“Aye,” Jamie narrowed his eyes. “She is.”

“Did she, ah…” Angus waggled his eyebrows and smiled again.

Jamie glared at him.

“I dinna ken what you mean.”

“Right. One hell of a woman, that sassenach.”

Jamie nodded and watched her dance with Ned. They were both grinning madly, spinning and twirling with the rest of the crowd. It took a few minutes, but Jamie got his libido down enough that he could stand without evidence of what she’d done to him.

“May I cut in?” he asked, tapping Ned on the shoulder.

“Of course, good sir. I thank you, my lady,” Ned said, bowing low over Claire’s hand.

It felt good to have her in his arms again, holding her body close to his own. She fit there with him, like they’d been designed for each other.

“So glad you finally felt… *up* to joining me, Mr. Fraser.”

He yanked her close, pressing her body against his and allowing little room for movement. Then he brought his mouth near to her ear so no one else would hear him.

“More like I’m finally *down* to join ye, Sassenach. That wasna nice, ye ken.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be, darling. You brought me close just before we left. I was only returning the favor.”

“Were this no’ my cousin’s wedding, I’d take ye home immediately.”

“Oh, but I’m having such a lovely time here.”

“I’m not…”

She looked up at him and winked.

“That is no one’s fault but your own, Jamie. And you know it.”

“Aye. Ye’ve shown me the error of my ways, Sassenach.”

“Good. Now dance with me. I’ll do my best to resist the urge to sneak under your kilt.”

“Ye must. We’re in public.”

Tugging her back to him, he began to sway gently to the music. It sounded off to him, it always did, but he could feel the rhythm of it. Claire was smiling, which did nothing to help the boiling in his blood.

Finally, FINALLY Willie and Erin thanked their guests and left for their honeymoon. There were rumors that Willie had set up a secret destination for them, but he’d refused to tell anyone.

“Well there goes our bet wi’ the shinty,” Angus muttered.

“Och, we can still play,” Rupert said.

“We canna! Willie was the reason for the bet in the first place! We’d be short a player now.”

Thank. God.

If there was no shinty, he could take Claire home. He could tease her at stop lights, tickle her thighs in slow traffic. Then when they got home, he could unzip the dress and leave it in the entryway. He could push her against the wall and plunge himself into her over and over and then—


Shaking his head, he looked up.

“What, Sassenach? I’m sorry I wasna listening.”

“I said I thought we should go home now, since we’ve seen Willie and Erin off.”

“Aye. We should. It was good to see ye, lads.”

Taking her hand, he nearly ran to the car and sat down behind the wheel.

“Think you’ll make it home, my lad?”

“Oh aye. I’ll make it home.”

“Any plans when you get there?”

“I’m going to make ye regret what ye did, Sassenach. Regret it verra much.”

She giggled.

“You mean you don’t like when I do that with your family at the table?”

“No. I’m just glad Jenny wasna there. She’d have kent what ye were about.”

His phone buzzed with a text message. Claire unlocked it and read it out loud.

“‘Your wife is a helluva woman,’” she read. “‘Give ‘er a good one for me, aye?’ It’s from Angus. What’s he on about?”

“Oh,” Jamie smiled as the light ahead turned red. “He kent what you were doing.”

“He did?!”

“Aye. Ye werena as subtle as ye thought. Now…”

With the car stopped, he reached across and pushed the bottom of her dress up.


“Hush. This willna take long.”

He gently rubbed the soft skin of her inner thigh, making her squirm. When the light turned green, he pulled his hand back and continued driving.

“Two can play this game, James Fraser,” she grumbled, immediately reaching for his crotch.

“Aye, but if ye want to get home wi’out crashing the car, ye willna touch my cock.”

At the next stop, he reached for her the same time she reached for him. Her hand darted beneath the pleats of his kilt, stroking him to life once again. His own hand dove into the top of her dress, expertly fondling her breast.

“The light turned,” she panted.

“Aye. It did.”

At the last stop, they didn’t even look at each other. Though he saw, out of the corner of his eye, that she was wriggling out of her underwear.

He’d barely gotten the car parked and the keys out when she flung herself toward the door to their flat.

“You’re a dirty bastard,” she said once he’d closed their front door.

“Aye. I am. Ye havena minded before.”

“Well I sure as hell mind now.”

“I willna be gentle about it. I canna.”

“Why would you think I wanted you to be gentle?”

She reached behind her and began unzipping her dress. He shrugged out of his coat and left it were it fell. His hands helped hers and she stepped out of the dress. When he made a move to unbuckle his kilt, she stopped him.

“Leave it on?”

“Oh? Like the fantasy of bedding a wild Highlander, do ye?”

“I might.”

“Well then. I shall serve ye as best I can.”

As he’d imagined doing earlier, he pushed her against the wall. It took a moment of struggle to get his kilt out of the way, but she didn’t seem to mind.

In one strong blow, he pinned her to the wall. He could hear her sweet arse slapping against it with each of his thrusts.

“Ye are a wicked woman, Claire Fraser,” he grunted, punctuating his words with his hips. “Touching me like that wi’ my family all around.”

“You were doing the same to me this morning! Oh GOD!”

“We were alone then!”


He slammed his fist against the wall, moving against her with all the power he had. One of her legs hooked around him, giving him better access. Her leg twitched and he was suddenly on his arse, staring up at her in bewilderment.

“That was very rude,” she heaved. “What you did this morning.”

“And you werena rude?”

“No. I was teaching you the rules of the game.”

“And what game would that be?”

She smiled and unhooked her bra before swinging one leg over his hip.

“If you’re gong to turn me on that way, touch me and rouse me to you so quickly, you’d better do your damnedest to satisfy me before we go anywhere. Do you understand?”

He was mesmerized by her swinging breasts, staring at them as they hovered near his face. Suddenly she sat and took him in, but did not move.


“If you ever arouse me like that again and do nothing about it, you’ll be sleeping on the couch for a month! Do I make myself clear?”

“A-Aye! Ye have my word!”

“Don’t play the game if you don’t know the rules, James Fraser. I’m better at this game than you are.”

She pushed his hands off her hips and began grinding against him. He howled and thrust his hips to meet hers, the sounds of their bodies coming together echoing in the room. She was crying out too, her head thrown back. Since his hands had nothing else to do, he reached up and pinched her nipples until she began to shudder.

He couldn’t hold himself back anymore. With a hearty yell, his body shook and he released within her. She was contracting around him, milking him for all he had.

“Well,” she sighed a few moments later. “That’s much better.”

“Christ, Sassenach. I think my whole arse is one large rug burn.”

“Turnabout is fair play, my lad. And what will you do next time you think of torturing me like this, hmm?”

“I’ll make sure to take ye somewhere softer after. For I canna possess your soul wi’out losing my own.”

With a smile, she stretched herself out on top of him, fingers gently combing back his hair.

“I am your master,” he continued. “And you are mine.”

She nodded and kissed him slowly.

“I love you, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser.”

“And I, you, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser.”

Reblog if you think fanon Silver the Hedgehog is terribly mischaracterized

One of the things I always hated in the fandom is that bad potrayal of Silver, which is a whiny crybaby (or some others) and it really upsets me sometimes?? I doubt canon Silver would behave like that.

Keep reading

that AWESOME ptsd feel when you feel like a liar and a fraud for getting better, and then you proceed to slowly (rapidly) dissolve into mad panic

INFJ Confession #2574

Stress usually doesn’t get to me, like, I’ll rant about it if I feel like someone is listening, or just behave normally. I even perform better with deadlines sometimes. But recently, I had a complete breakdown.I was just studying for my exams like I normally do, but then I took a break. I wasn’t feeling too great, but not too bad either. And then I started crying out of nowhere, and couldn’t stop.  I cried for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT and I have never done that in my life. Also did I mention, FOR NO APPARENT REASON. This wasn’t the first time I was giving an exam, and not the first time I had procrastinated either. It just didn’t make any sense. I was crying,shaking and sobbing uncontrollably, and it physically hurt, yet I couldn’t stop. And the worst part is, I didn’t even know why I was crying. I wasn’t thinking about anything, so I couldn’t even make it stop by not thinking about it. And I woke up with eyes that were swollen shut, ulcers, a severe cold and back ache. Can’t say it was the lowest point in my life, but it was extremely harrowing. Does anyone else ever get so stressed that they physically feel it?

anonymous asked:

idk why people thinking the way coliver was acting was weird after breaking up, i thought it was one of the realest things in this show that is so unrealistic lmao. they didn't break up b/c they don't love each other, and if this episode showed anything it's that they're best friends, and it's not easy to just let your best friend go. tldr; coliver are best friends and now they're broken up and i'm emo about it.

I thought it was very realistic, too. They still love each other and just because they broke up doesn’t mean they can automatically turn off their feelings or start behaving completely differently around each other.

I loved everything about their scenes in this ep, it showed that they are capable of being friends. This is literally everything I’ve always wanted - for them to just be able to talk to each other, and be there for one another. I loved that Connor called Oliver to tell him about his case and asked to be distracted, and I loved how happy Oliver was for Connor when he won. They’ve only been broken up for one episode and we’re already getting way better Coliver scenes now that sex is out of the equation and they have to actually talk to each other.

To add to my collection of vintage #burlesque memorabilia, I recently acquired this hand written letter from Lili St. Cyr to fellow burlesque headliner Lois De Fee. By reading it, one can tell that they were good friends while performing on the burlesque circuit. She speaks about her departure from #showbiz saying “…can’t say I have missed it all that much, except for the loot, of course.” She speaks of being lonesome for her nights in New York and how she and Lois would drop into each other’s clubs to have a drink. She tells Lois about her little apartment just near Paramount Studios in Los Angeles, and how quiet her life is. You may know that Lili had a somewhat tumultuous life, and here she writes that she is now 73 years old “so it’s only fitting for me to be behaving myself at last.” She also speaks about her four cats and how delighted she is that Lois works with the Humane Society. She says “I am now one of those cranks who likes animals more than people.” She also mentions the lingerie boutique that she had for a while. I have a lot of her lingerie catalogs, and I always regret that I didn’t manage to see her shop before it closed in the 90s. Have a look at my Instagram stories for a look at some of my other #vintage burlesque documents including letters written by #fandancer Sally Rand, plus the original #BettiePage model release for the Irving Klaw studios.
#LiliStCyr #LoisDeFee

Made with Instagram

anonymous asked:

Im a kyungsoo fanboy! Seriously, ksoo totally bring the gay out of me, i swear! When i saw him for the first time, i was like, hes so cute? WTF! I thought im the only who think like that, but when i show my other male friend his pic, they also said hes so cute! [1]

And i ship kd too, at first i thought, look at the fangirls, pairing kd like that? So typical. But when i saw their moments, i was like mindblown, guys doesnt eye fucking ea like that? And their moments feel like its not a fanservice, it seems genuine. I think im totally too deep now, am i? Im gonna sail with this ship~ -kyungsoo’s fanboy- [2]

Hello Kyungsoo fanboy!! I remember I used to think in a similar way as you about kd, back in 2013. But, once you really notice their interactions in an open way, you can see how different they behave with other people and among other otps as well. 

In any case, let’s all continue to cheer up for those two~

I’m freaked out. The thing with the guy from work is getting out of hand and he’s behaving really possessively, manipulatively, is gaslighting me to to fuck and is sending me semi-abusive text messages trying to make me feel bad/accusing me of leaving him the other night and “going away with Scott” (one of my work colleagues) not saying goodbye when in fact me and a couple of guys from work (including Scott) walked him home and did say goodbye. Now he’s attempting to phone me and left me a message saying that he’s sad and that he loves me?? I don’t even know what to do in this situation and I don’t know how to deal with it.