befriending math

The Nordics as my teachers
  • I don't know why I just wanted to do this.
  • Denmark: English teacher. Very positive and will act out scenes in the book by cheering "WOOOO!!"
  • Norway: Fashion teacher. Very picky and will ignore you if you don't do good in class, but nice.
  • Iceland: Science teacher. Relaxed and brings pets to class for the hell of it.
  • Finland: Math teacher. Befriends everyone and let's you eat all the time even if it's his food.
  • Sweden: French teacher. Looks intimidating but actually very nice and tells stories all the time

i just got back from self defense class where my instructor went on a 15 minute impromptu yet ridiculously detailed tirade about groin strikes. “rip. off. the testicles.” he said maybe like seven times, demonstrating the motions in between dramatic pauses.

it just so happens my instructor is named sir rich and it got me thinking of a college richjake au where, GET THIS, theyre not students but TEACHERS.

SELF DEFENSE PE INSTRUCTOR RICH GORANSKI who befriends BOOKISHLY HANDSOME MATH PROFESSOR JAKE DILLINGER. rich hates math but he looooooves jake. half the student population does too.  jake teaches something awful like, i dunno, accounting or applied calculus for business, and you’d think this would be such a turn off but. No. he’s a fantastic teacher. he goes through each lesson, steady but not slow. when you dont understand something, he’ll explain it to you, and if you still don’t get it, he’ll smile and hook you up with a student tutor and he’ll remind you that he’s always free during consultations hours in a soft, confident voice that makes you want to believe in either yourself or in mr. dillinger who believes in YOU. EVERYBODY IS IN LOVE WITH HIM. mr. dillinger is very dreamy. mr.dillinger can be said in the same tone you use to say ohhhh mr. darcy

rich makes fun of jake for it like, all the time

(“is there anybody in this uni who isn’t swooning over you?” he’d elbow jake, his tone joking even though this joke is also totally making fun of himself. because rich is also swooning over jake.) 

meanwhile, jake is so gone for roguishly charming coach goranski who teaches not only self defense, but judo, taekwondo, and power boxing too. when jake has free time, he maaaaaybe drops by the watch the classes. for. professional reasons. PROFESSIONAL REASONS. 

(”ohhhhhh im mr.dillinger and im here for professional reasons,” coworker brooke lohst croons with her voice pitched low. “lemme calculate for how hot i think coach goranski looks like–”

jake tosses a box of paperclips at her head)