before this gets obscene


Pairing: Cisco x Reader

Warnings: Evil!Barry :O

Words: 2029

A/N: Sorry for the delay! I’m just… I… I don’t know. ):

Translations: Literally everything in Italics is translated into “I love you”

You walked into the bedroom in your pajamas, huffing as you went to your side of the bed, pulling down the covers and sliding into it. Cisco looked at you from the bathroom, a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth as he furrowed his eyebrows. As he spit into the sink, he called out for you, but was only left with more confusion when you clearly ignored him. He wiped his mouth and rinsed his toothbrush before joining you.

“What’s wrong, babe?” he asked as he loaded onto his side of the bed, but you spun around quickly to stop him.

“You’re sleeping on the couch,” you told him and he scoffed.

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Love at First Putz

Help. I can’t be stopped. Someone stahp meh. Seriously, I am really enjoying writing this beautiful high school madness. I decided to go with the little Harvey/Jim moment I wrote in the last drabble and go from there.

Tl;dr Harvey meets Jim :D

Thanks again to @gordlock-fanart and @partnerasshat for all the inspiration. <3

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The second panel is the best Gretz I’ve ever drawn in my entire life.

Also, this would totally happen because Drang would DEFINITELY make this joke. If the game was english. (I’m sure there are some food innuendos in japanese too but sadly I’d have no idea what they are)

~ Smutty-ish Christmas HCs ~

❥ Phil pounding into Dan while he’s decorated with Christmas lights. Sometimes he’d move them up towards his neck and choke him slightly.

❥ Dan and Phil on Christmas Eve, watching pointless Christmas movies they’ve seen thousands of times. Phil easily got distracted from the bland movie on the screen and began to gently palm Dan through his jeans. Dan knew where this was going and let Phil unzip his pants and he went to work, sucking Dan’s cock obscenely.

❥ Phil downing a glass of eggnog, some spilling out the corners of his mouth and Dan making snide comments somewhere along the lines of “That’s pretty close to what you looked like last night.”

❥ Dan and Phil exchanging gift’s the night before Christmas, getting each other a plethora of obscene sex toys that would probably give them months of fun.

❥ The boy’s having a little Christmas party in their flat and Dan leading Phil into their bathroom for a quickie. Nobody questioned anything when a dopey-grinned Dan and a dishevelled looking Phil emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later.

❥ Dan dressing up as a “reindeer” for Phil, looking up tutorials on YouTube for deer makeup and putting on a dark brown pair of panties. Needless to say, Phil had Dan splayed across the floor moments after he saw him in his little getup.

{。^◕‿◕^。} send me stuff {。^◕‿◕^。}

B*tch doesn't like to wait, has to wait a bit longer.

This happened a few years back at Clearwater Beach, Florida.
I’d gone mistakenly during Ironman week, and parking spaces were scarce, but luckily I’d gotten one right on the front, paid for an hour and went for a run with my two dogs.

On the way back I cross over the road to go back to the car park. In Clearwater they have a lot of these crosswalks that the traffic has to yield to. Start crossing, half way accross when black Lexus suv roars up out of nowhere, clearly breaking speed limit, blasts on horn, middle aged bitch within car starts yelling obscenities, I point to sign of person crossing, more obscenities before bitch queen speeds off.

Get to my car, get the dogs in the back and start to give them a drink while sitting in the open trunk, notice b*tch queen in her Lexus waiting about 20 feet from me(I’m in a really good space, right near the beach) she’s obviously waiting for me to move, and I would have taken about a minute to water my mutts and drive away to give up the space, but one minute is too long for b*tch queen.

I close the trunk, and start to head back to the car and I hear a voice, a whiny “I’m not used to people telling me no” voice:
“Hey, HEY! I’m waiting here, are you going to be much longer?”
Okay you c*nt, I was going, but now…check my ticket, 10 minutes left…
“I’ll be gone in a few…” I say….
“well are you going to the beach or what, what are you doing?” is the reply…
“I’ll be done….when I’m done”… I say back.

B*tch queen speeds off with tires screeching round the car park, to the attendant, and starts b*tching to him, arms waving out of the window, the works, clearly upset. He just shrugs his shoulders as if ‘nothing I can do’. B*tch drives out of car park.

In meantime another car has pulled in behind me, I signal to say I’m leaving and they can have my spot, and drive away, and the sweet part is I see b*tch drive back around into the lot only to see a fresh car parked where I was.
I hope her head exploded.

Petty Revenge: Your daily dose of the best petty revenge stories. | source


A/N: HI! This is my first oneshot on tumblr, so please let me know what you think!

Summary: You and Cas stay at the bunker whilst Sam and Dean are hunting a Djinn. You ‘hang out’ with Cas…

Word count: 1588

Warnings: Language, FLUFF. 

Tagging: @obsessedtmifangirl @nebulanoxx @thedeanaconda @sonofabitch67

You stood up and pecked a kiss on Sam and Dean’s cheeks as they left the bunker, to go and hunt a Djinn, which was supposedly stalking people at strip clubs. As much as you pleaded them to let you go, the Winchesters wouldn’t let you, saying that it was ‘too dangerous’ for you in your current state. You had stitches across your bicep, from a rather close encounter with a vampire from a week ago, and you were still patching up. Dean had blamed himself for it, as he didn’t hear your cry for backup when you had found the vamp, next to several bodies haphazardly discarded across the floor of an abandoned lodge. Since then, Dean hasn’t let you out of the bunker, deeming it ‘unsafe’ for you.

‘But please Dean! Djinns are easy kills’, you halfheartedly pleaded, knowing that the following answer was already set in stone. Sam stood behind Dean, looking sympathetically at you, knowing fully what Dean was about to say. He shrugged and looked away.

‘You ain’t going anywhere until those stitches are out Y/N’ Dean responded automatically, for like the 6th time that day, as he picked up his duffel bag and strode over to the door, where Sam was stood.

‘Oh, and Y/N, Cas will be here with you all day, so you don’t wander off’ Dean said, narrowing his eyes. It was a habit of yours to follow them, sometimes saving their asses.

As if on cue, the angel appeared next to you and smiled softly to himself.
‘I’ll make sure she stays put, no need to worry’
Well that’s fucking great, you thought. You have had a crush on Castiel from the moment you saw him smite two demons at once, and not even breaking a sweat. You could get lost in his eyes, which were like oceans, so deep and genuine. The way he’d look at something, confusion worrying his eyes, as you explained stuff to him. Or when he got hurt, his eyes would cloud over and look misty like a cloudy expanse of sky.
‘Y/N, you hearing us?’ Sam asked, looking at you with worry. You’d zoned out, dreading the awkwardness that was undoubtably going to meddle with your day.

‘Loud and clear, Sammy’, and you gave a sarcastic thumbs up. The boys then walked out the door and drove off in the Impala, leaving you with the angel.

‘So, I’m gonna be in my room if you need me, probably sulking and plotting my revenge with Dean’, you started, clearing your throat awkwardly.
Cas stared straight into your eyes, and ever so slightly tilted his head to the left, keeping eye contact.
‘Why?’ He spoke simply, his gravelly voice with soft undertones ringing through the air, sending goosebumps up your arms… or was that his grace?

‘Because…’ you paused for a second
‘Because Dean won’t fucking let me outside, like at all! Not even to the grocery store’  You frowned, with small spikes of anger rippling through your voice.

Castiel’s shoulders slumped, and he looked crestfallen.

‘I thought we could do, what humans call hanging out… although I don’t understand why they call it that, because technically speak…’

You cut him off with a giggle, playfully hitting his trench coat. Can straightened up again, and… could you detect a hint of embarrassment coming from the angel?

‘I suppose we could hang out’, you agreed, excited to spend time with the angel you so deeply felt for, although never admitted to it. You had a feeling that Sam knew that you liked him though.

You and Cas had ended up watching a movie, after you had tried and failed to teach him how to bake a pie for Dean. A few times you had looked up from the pastry to meet eyes with Cas, and he would quickly look away from you again, trying to work out how to turn on the cooker, before getting annoyed yelling obscenities at it; which made you laugh.

At one point during the movie, you shuffled closer to Cas, soaking up his warmth. You felt his strong muscles relax under you. Oh God, you loved him.

Although you couldn’t see, Cas had opened his wings, and wrapped them around you. He had mentally vowed to protect you, and to never let you get hurt again. He deemed it his job, until the day he ceased to exist. He’d fallen for you. For your beauty, your passion, your feisty and headstrong personality. Until recently, Castiel didn’t know that he was able to fall in love, he didn’t understand the emotion. He just felt something strange in his heart whenever he saw you. He understood now; he accepted it. For the remainder of the movie, he held you tight, as you snuggled into him, his wings tightly embracing you.

You sighed sadly when the credits started rolling, and as you moved to get up, you realised that the angel’s hands were playing gently with your hair, stroking it softly, making little braids.

‘Cas, I need to move’ you grumbled, your throat slightly raspy from the lack of talking.
You winced as you went to to switch the channel on the TV, but you carried on walking to the TV, hoping Cas hadn’t noticed, which, of course, he had. Cas knew that you were injured, but he didn’t know that the stitches were causing you a fair amount of trouble.

‘Y/N, come here, I can fix that’, he whispered, worry pooling in the sapphire abyss, surrounded by rims of the deepest blue. He stood before you, pressing two warm fingers to your forehead, and you felt soft electrical waves tingle down your back. You’d never been healed by any angel before, and you knew that Dean described being healed like a gentle warmth, and Sam had described it as  simply a relief of pain.
For the first time in a week, you felt able to move your arm fully, without any pain. Without thinking, you ran up to Cas and pulled him into a tight hug. Taken aback by how sudden this sign of affection was, Cas stood still for a moment, before embracing you himself. Then something occurred to him. He’d seen you kiss Sam and Dean before, and the angel thought it wrong to let himself get carried away with hugging you…and goodness knows what else. Sinful thoughts flooded his mind, but he pushed them aside to ask you the question that had been playing on his mind for the past while.

‘Y/N?’ You hummed contently your response

‘Do you love Sam and Dean?’ Cas asked, pulling you off of him. It took you by surprise, and confusion flooded over you. What did he mean?

‘Course, they’re my closest friends, they’re like my family’, you smiled sadly, remembering your real family that were murdered by demons 20 years ago. That’s what brought you into this life. Sam and Dean had brought you back to the bunker a year ago, after finding you sleeping roadside with a machete in hand. Ever since, you’d been bound at the hip with them both.

‘I mean, are you in a romantic relationship with them? I saw you give them kisses earlier’ Cas elaborated, his eyes confused. You laughed softly
‘Oh, no. I just like giving my friends kisses, platonically’ you chuckled, feeling blushing heat climb to your face. You looked down at your toes, embarrassed.

‘So, uh, platonically speaking, you wouldn’t mind if I..I gave you a kiss?’ He mumbled, lifting your chin up, so you were looking directly at him.
‘Not at all, Cas’ you whispered, your voice barely audible.

He looked down at your lips and back to your eyes, and you did the same to him. Then, slowly Cas bent towards you, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. The same electric current from when you were healed by him returned, and evidently he felt the same from how he pulled away, startled with wide eyes, the blue turning almost black. Without a second thought, you cupped his cheek and your lips met agin, this time with more passion. He walked you back to the wall, not breaking the kiss at all. He gently nipped at your lower lip, requesting access to your mouth. His tongue slid into your mouth, exploring it. Running his hands down your body, and resting on your ass, he picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his angular body. You ruffled his hair and gently tugged on his hair, electing a soft groan from the back of his throat.

After you finally broke away from each other, you and the angel lay on the sofa, whilst you buried your face into his chest, weary from the lack of sleep. At this moment, Castiel, the Angel of The Lord, felt at one with everything, he forgot about the war in heaven, and everything else burdening him. He felt light once more, thinking that maybe you were the light in the void of darkness.

After a few minutes, you spoke again, in a very hushed and tired voice

‘I love you Cas’. And with that you fell asleep before he had the chance to say
‘I love you too. I always have, and whilst I exist, I always will’. But somehow, you still heard him.
Little did you know, he had folded his wings around you again, letting the dark feathers fall across your sleeping state.

The Proposal

In light of the monumental and fucking awesome SCOTUS decision today, I wanted to write something to celebrate and commemorate that.

There are probably typos, and I apologize. But this is off the top of my brain straight to your eyes.

Congratulations everyone! Welcome to the 21st century!


“Oh my god, Peggy! Peggy!” Angie practically screamed as she came bounding through the door of their apartment.

Peggy looked up from the paperwork she was studying just in time to see her animated girlfriend fly across the room and land on the couch beside her.

“Angie, darling,” she admonished and returned to her paperwork, by now well used to the younger woman’s dramatic entrances. “I’m afraid I’m a tad busy right now. I have to get these reports finished up by tomorrow morning if I even hope to have a chance of spending any time with you this weekend.”

“Peggy,” Angie sighed, her excitement deflating almost instantly. “Ever since we moved to this godforsaken place, you’ve done nothing but work.”

Peggy frowned. “That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” Angie disagreed petulantly.

Peggy looked up and saw her girlfriend’s disappointed look. If she were honest with herself, Angie wasn’t necessarily wrong. Ever since her company had temporarily assigned her to their Kentucky branch, she had spent the majority of the time working, but she’d done so in order to get the location turned around so she and Angie could get back to somewhere a little more progressive, somewhere where their being a couple didn’t raise so many eyebrows and get dirty looks thrown their way when they went out together in public.

How she longed to be back in Atlanta where she could openly hold Angie’s hand or not worry about sneaking a kiss while they waited for the subway at a MARTA station. To be honest, she’d been somewhat surprised when Angie had readily agreed to move with her to Kentucky when Peggy broached the subject nine months ago. After all, they’d only been dating for six months. Six amazing months, to be sure, but Peggy couldn’t imagine leaving behind the woman who’d so effortlessly stolen her heart, and she’d been elated when Angie immediately agreed to her idea. Within a month, the two were on their way to their new home.

Peggy had to hand it to Angie – she’d been a real trooper when it came to adjusting to a far more conservative part of the country. Fortunately, they’d quickly found a community they could be a part of in their new town, but even still, they soon learned they didn’t have the same freedoms Atlanta had afforded them.

She gave Angie an apologetic smile and reached over to squeeze her hand. “You’re right, Angie. I do work a lot, but darling, I’m doing it so I can get this location out of the red and get us transferred to a better location. Somewhere we don’t have to worry about offending the wrong person.”

Angie leaned her head against Peggy’s shoulder and released a long breath. “I know that, Peggy. I just wish you didn’t work yourself so hard.”

Peggy smiled and dropped a kiss against her light-brown hair. “And I love you for being so concerned about my welfare. You’re the best girlfriend a gal could ask for, you know that don’t, you?”

“Of course I am,” Angie instantly agreed, a bit of her earlier excitement returning to her voice. “And don’t think we’re done with the work conversation, smooth talker. But for right now, we have something more important to discuss.” She peered at Peggy. “Why didn’t you answer any of my texts I sent you?”

“Hmm,” Peggy asked, her attention already drawn back to the papers in her hand.

“My t-e-x-t-s,” Angie said, slowly exaggerating the word. “I must’ve sent you twenty on my way home.”

Peggy glanced over at her phone on the nearby end table and shrugged. “It must be on silent.” She shuffled the papers and shifted to peer at the laptop seated next to her, but apparently Angie was not finished with her. Plucking the papers from Peggy’s hands, she tossed them on the end table and shot Peggy a withering glare.

“Hey!” Peggy protested.

Angie leaned forward and clasped Peggy’s face between her hands. “You’re not listening to me, English, and you should be because I have some very important news to tell you.”

Releasing a heavy sigh, Peggy peered at her girlfriend. “I’m sure it’s monumental,” she drawled, rolling her eyes.

Angie grinned. “Actually, it is.”

“Well, do get it on with it then. The sooner you tell me, the sooner I can get back to working and hopefully be done before an obscenely late hour.”

Peggy thought she detected a flicker of hurt dance through Angie’s eyes, but then the younger woman shook her head and smiled hopefully. “You might change your tune once you hear what I have to say,” she laughed.

“And that is what, exactly?”

“Well, today’s Friday.”

Peggy pursed her lips. “I hope that’s not your news.”

“Shut up, English,” Angie retorted. “Today is Friday. June 26. Ring a bell?”

Peggy cast her thoughts over the date and found she couldn’t come up with anything. “I’m afraid it doesn’t, darling.”

“Of course not, you adorable dolt,” Angie grinned. “Peggy, today’s the day the Supreme Court ruled on same-sex marriage.”

Peggy’s eyes widened as everything began to fall in place. Angie’s frenetic excitement as she came through the door, the litany of text messages she’d apparently missed, Angie’s important news. She licked her lips and stared at her girlfriend. “Do you mean to tell me?”

Angie nodded, eyes brightening with happiness. “Uh huh.”

“Oh my god,” Peggy breathed. “They upheld it?”

“They did!” Angie practically squealed. “As of today, marriage equality exists in all 50 states!”

“Oh my god,” Peggy repeated, pulling away from Angie’s grasp to stand up. She took a few steps forward and then turned to stare at Angie with a searching gaze. Without a word, she spun around and retreated down the hallway.

“Peggy?” Angie called after her, concern evident in her voice, but Peggy didn’t respond. Ducking into the bedroom, she knelt beside the bed and hurriedly pulled out the small trunk she kept stored there. She opened it and reached in, her hand immediately closing around the small black box nestled at the bottom.

Peggy vividly recalled purchasing it on her last trip to Atlanta while Angie remained back in Kentucky, but once she got back home, she’d set it aside promising herself she would only give it to Angie when they could follow through on the answer she hoped Angie would give her.

“Peggy, is everything okay?” Angie called from the doorway.

Speak of the devil, Peggy thought. Nervous excitement coursing through her, she sucked in a sharp breath, trying to calm her racing heart. Angie’s footsteps echoed behind her, and then she felt a soft hand come to rest on her shoulder.

“Sweetheart, you’re worrying me. What’s going on?”

Hand clutching the tiny box, Peggy turned to face Angie, still on her knees. She looked up in to the bright blue eyes she knew so well and saw them filled with concern.

“Everything’s fine, darling,” Peggy assured her. “At least, I think it will be.”

Angie gazed at her, puzzled. “What does that mean?”

Smiling, Peggy reached out and took Angie’s hand in her own. “It means that I want to ask you something,” Peggy murmured. “Something I’ve wanted to ask for quite some time, but haven’t because it was impossible for us here.”

Angie sucked in a sharp breath, and her eyes grew wide. “Peggy,” she began, but Peggy continued on.

“But with what you just told me, I can’t wait any longer.” She withdrew her hand from behind her back to reveal the small black box nestled in her palm.

Angie’s hand flew to her mouth in shock. “Oh my god, Peggy,” she breathed.

Taking her hand from Angie’s, Peggy reached over and opened the lid to reveal a delicate band of white gold with a single solitaire diamond resting at the top. It had a timeless elegance to it, and Peggy had instantly thought of Angie when she’d first saw it. Now, as she watched her girlfriend glance from the ring to her and back to the ring again, she knew she’d make the right choice.

Taking the ring from its spot, Peggy placed the box on the floor beside her and gazed back at Angie, taking her small hand within her own.

“This past year and a half has been the happiest of my life,” Peggy confessed. “I’ve wanted to marry you since before we moved here, but I thought it too soon. I didn’t want to scare you.”

Angie let out a little sob.

“And then, when we moved here, that desire continued to grow. But I didn’t want to ask you something I couldn’t follow through on.” She brought the ring to Angie’s finger and gazed at her hopefully. “However, now I can, and I assure you, if you answer the way I hope you will, I will follow through on every single promise I ever make to you for the rest of our lives.”

Peggy heart swelled as tears began to roll down Angie’s cheeks. “I love you, Angela Martinelli, and nothing would make me happier than to call you my wife,” she whispered. “Please say you’ll marry me.”

“Yes,” Angie sighed without hesitation, eyes falling closed as the words left her mouth.

“Yes?” Peggy echoed, happiness filling her heart as the single word washed over her like a caress. She watched as Angie opened her eyes and smiled lovingly at her.

“Yes. Of course I’ll marry you, Peggy Carter,” she murmured.

With a joy she hadn’t even known existed until now, Peggy slipped the ring onto Angie’s finger and stood. Raising her hands to cup Angie’s cheeks, she pressed forward and captured her fiancée’s lips in a heated kiss, delighting when Angie’s mouth opened beneath hers.

She knew the coming months would be full of wedding discussions – dresses, cakes, honeymoon, so many things – but for now, Peggy Carter decided to savor the sensation of her future wife’s hands tugging at the button of her jeans even as she moved them backwards to the bed. She briefly thought of the paperwork still sitting on the living room couch until Angie’s hand slipped beneath the waistband of her jeans just as her mouth fastened on to Peggy’s neck.

The paperwork would wait. Tonight, she planned on celebrating.