before the insanity

Someone: I really like you!

Me: what a Bad Choice but pls don’t stop

Source

Job AUs

Part 1 | Part 2

General

  • ‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot never mind please do come in’ AU
  • 'I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and you step in and stand up for me’ AU
  • ‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au
  • ‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU

Hairdresser AU

  • ‘You’re my regular customer and I’m in love with the feel of your hair’ AU
  • “Rumor has it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair day so that’s why I’m here’ AU

Gift store AU

  • 'Why the fuck are you choosing that for a gift to your crush’ AU
  • ‘You walk in and offer to pay me to wrap your gifts’ AU


Florist AU

  • ‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower and give it to me’ AU
  • ‘I work part-time in a flower shop and you keep asking me about what this flower means in flower language and I honestly don’t know so you end up giving me a lesson’ AU


Jewellery shop AU

  • 'You walk in and ask for the most expensive piece are you loaded to the gills what the fuck man’ AU
  • ‘I’m the employee and this is the first time ever I’ve met you but you buy me a necklace saying the gem compliments my eyes’ AU

Coffee Shop AU

  • I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ AU
  • 'You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways’ AU
  • 'You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU
  • 'Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ AU


Bakery AU

  • 'Your love of strawberry shortcake really doesn’t match your appearance but i still think that’s really cute’ AU
  • 'Every morning you walk in and inhale deeply then walk back out seriously just buy something already’ AU 


Drug Store/Chemist AU

  • 'You embarrassedly place your items into the counter so I call a price check just to make you feel more awkward, but it turns out one of your items were actually overpriced’ AU


Bartender AU

  • 'You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping something into my drink’ AU
  • ‘I ask you to concoct something from all the ingredients on the list i gave you and it ends up tasting so horrible and wrong that i can’t stop laughing’ AU


Teacher AU

  • We’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three years’ AU
  • 'Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’ AU

Writer AU

  • I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m doing okay’ AU


Fast food Chain AU

  • ‘You just ordered a smile and I look at you like you’re batshit insane before bursting out into laughter’ AU
  • ‘You’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the cone’ AU
  • ‘We have a free refill policy for soft drink and you’ve prepared several empty bottles what the fuck’ AU

Corner Shop AU

  • ‘I see you come in here every day to buy the same drink and one day I leave a message on the bottle’ AU
  • ‘You run in looking really panicked and you ask for 6 gallons of milk why’ AU

 

Restaurant AU

  • ‘You’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you’ AU
  • ‘You’ve always been a good cook so I encouraged your start your own restaurant and seven years down the track you own one of the most successful businesses’ AU

Idol/Manger AU

  • ‘I’m your manager and holy shit you have crazy fans’ AU
  • ‘You’re an idol and you got the lead role in a romance drama and you practice at my expense’ AU
  • ‘Can you please act appropriately do you know just how many of your fuck ups I’ve had to cover up last week’ AU 


Firefighter AU

  • ‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU
  • No that’s impossible how the fuck did you manage to get it to catch fire?!” AU

Sex Line Operator AU

  • ‘I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ AU
  • ‘I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour’s’ AU

And Finally:

  • You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your drug den’ AU

sorry not sorry

THIS JUST IN:

@thatsthat24 is an absolute sweetheart and I am honestly mystified at the fact that he keeps saying such nice things about my art??  (also ngl pretty mystified as to how he keeps seeing it in the first place cause honestly??? I’m shook)

(or: I woke up to this comment on my Prinxiety speedpaint over on YouTube and I’m having a great day basically)

youtube

I am so excited to share this with you! And really lucky to have been allowed to post this too! This is the scene in Glitchtale s2e3 in which Alphys confronts Betty dubbed by the original voice actors!

If it wasn’t already obvious, I’m Alphys. :)

Hey

Remember in season 6 when Cas told Dean “I did it to protect you. I did it to protect all of you”

Remember in season 12 when Cas said, while looking at Dean, “I love you. I love all of you”

… thus making a parallel script and implying that the first “you” means Dean both times? …

I dunno - just something I think about while I sit up awake at night, tearing my hair out over the freaking ROMANTIC PARALLELS IN SUPERNATURALS OWN DAMN SCRIPT

Best moment from the game guys. No need to look any further. I’m officially shipping Frank and Beans from this moment on, you can keep your precious Amberprice. All I care about now is a man and his love for beans. 

Good Girl

Pairing: Isaac x Reader

Warning: Well… where do I begin? This is a smut, vaginal sex, fingering, oral (fem!receiving), anal play, Daddy kink, no plot/storyline, this is just pure sex. 18+, NSFW thank you

A/N: This does not have a plot, it is smut from start to finish, enjoy.

masterlist

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines


His lips trailed down the exposed skin of your neck, your body pressed up against the dark wall and your head falling back onto his shoulder. His hands rested on your waist, slipping up your shirt and his fingers drawing circles on your skin. “I’m very happy you chose me,” his voice was husky, and soft against your ear.

Keep reading

Okay but seriously

I know everyone loves Hamilton and that’s great because it’s amazing but like, that intro song?  Does not even come close to covering what a fucking train wreck this guy’s life was before he even came to America.

His mom got an inheritance on St. Croix at 16 that gained her all sorts of suiters, and then, at her mother’s behest, she married this dude, Johann Michael Lavien, who was at least twelve years older than her.  He was kind of a douche but dressed pretty and made Mama happy despite the fact that she had a marriage so unhappy that she legally separated from Rachel’s father years before.  They had one kid and I’m assuming she never wanted to see dude naked again after that.

Anyway, after dwindling away her inheritance on pretty clothes and failed ventures, because of some obscure Dutch law (because it was the West Indies and basically any law you could find from any country dubiously in occupation could work), he got her thrown in jail for adultery (not refuted, but not actually substantiated, but WHATEVER, throw her in with murderers and runaway slaves because those are all the same sort of heathen anyway).  He thought her incarceration would make her a more godly and dutiful wife, til she got out and was basically just like LOL NAH and took off to St. Kitts.

After a while, our buddy Johann shacked up with another chick and decided he wanted to marry her.  He got a divorce decree that was Trump level of petty and nasty and gross, calling her a whore and demonizing her for leaving him to care for their son alone on his meager earnings, and managed to get it down that he could remarry, but she couldn’t.  Ever.

So over on St. Kitts, Rachel meets James Hamilton and they get together and have two sons and present themselves as James and Rachel Hamilton, but she has literally no ability to legitimize James Jr. and Alexander.  Fast forward about fifteen years, her boys are 12 and 10, and James brings them back to St. Croix where she has a Reputation and they can’t even fake that this is legitimate.  He’s involved in some legal action there, and when that’s over, he splits, probably because he couldn’t afford to take care of them anymore because he was ALSO kind of a giant loser.  Nice, but awful at trying to get rich quick and ending up in even more debt, time and time again.

So Rachel opens a mercantile in the first floor of their house…common practice as far as dwellings go, having a shop on the first floor, but unheard of for women.  Rachel gave no fucks, seriously.  Then obviously we know she got sick and Alexander got sick and they were given some weird treatments like enemas and bloodletting (????) and then his mom died in the same bed he was in.

So then Levine comes back, fights with the court and brandishes this divorce decree, and manages the get the sons who had no chance of being legitimate disinherited from whatever estate she DID have.  Instead it was all given to Peter, the son she hadn’t seen in 18 years, who showed up, collected what he was due, and left again, with nothing for his half brothers who, I’ll remind you, were 12 and 14.

They got sent to live with a cousin who was living with a mistress and their son…and then the cousin committed suicide, being found in a pool of blood in his bed.  Everything was given to the mistress and their kid, with nothing even mentioned about his orphan wards.  Their uncle shows up, trying to take care of things, and….dies a month later.  Again, no provisions for the boys, despite Uncle John having changed his will FIVE DAYS before he died.

At that point, James Jr. becomes a carpenter’s apprentice because he’s not super smart or super skilled at anything else (takes after his dad) and Alexander, in some weird Dickensian twist of fate, gets taken in by a trader who might or might not be his actual father but that’s for another time.  That’s when he started working as a clerk in a trading office and getting noticed, because he was smart, he could keep track of all the different currencies (there was a lot), was bilingual in French and English (even more so than Jefferson was in later years, and if you don’t think Hamilton taunted Jefferson in French because of that I don’t know what to tell you), he could chart ships, he read everything, he wrote poetry like the romantic hero weirdo he was.

And then there was a hurricane.  Because of course there was.  It was a letter to his father that he showed to the sometimes editor of the paper–well-written, intelligent, and full of melodramatic descriptions (something about distressed shrieks making angels weep or something???) that got him the attention of the whole island.  It was published anonymously, the editor even claiming that the youth who wrote it at first protested it being published, so it wouldn’t look like he was trying to capitalize on a tragedy.  Word still got out that he wrote it, and they did indeed take up a collection to send him to school in America, despite the devastation on the island.

So Alexander got a free ride to Boston and an allowance for his education, and boarded a ship with all sorts of new opportunities in front of him…and then the ship caught fire.  In the middle of the ocean.

I can only imagine that at that point, Alexander was just like…are you fucking kidding me???

tl;dr: Alexander Hamilton’s life was a shit show before he ever even came to America, but his mother’s intelligence and will and his father’s pride and a horror show history of violence and tragedy just made him more stubborn about surviving and rising above all of it.

also, I know I sound like and asshole but I don’t like the general fanon for Bodhi as this  naive child-like delicate flower who is constantly on the verge of tears and needs Cassian to hold him and pat him on the head.

Bodhi Rook stutters and lives in constant state of anxiety and self-doubt and yet, and yet he gets all shit done. He defects, he gets the message, he goes to Scarif to fight, and when they leave him behind as “the only way out of here” he still takes command and orders and instructs the remaining soldiers before pulling an insane stunt and succeeding. And Bodhi Rook is really done with people underestimating him.

“I defected. I defected!”

“Are you sure [that’s where the lab is?]”

YES!”

Bodhi is an amazing character. And I get that the fanon is perfectly well-meant but I can’t stand it because it kinda does to him what others in the movie tend to - underestimates his actual strength and character. And yes, Bodhi is very sweet, and Bodhi very much needs validation (which, heartbreakingly, is provided a lot by none other than K2) but he isn’t this limp, passive wide-eyed lamb that he seems to have been flanderized into. He is pure but he is not naive at all. And he is absolutely not infantile or child-like. If he’s a flower it’s carved in stone.

the fuckboy scheme

◇ You’ve just waged war on renowned fuckboy Jeon Jungkook.

◇ Jungkook x reader

◇ fuckboi!au + college!au

tfs 2

◇ based off unforgettable by french montana even tho he’s trash just because i could lol

◇ ahsjksks I’m not dead my dudes don’t worry im just studying which is the same thing but!!! Anyway i made this because of procrastination so don’t expect another one right away lol ❤️❤️❤️💟💖💖

•••

You were proud to say that college wasn’t kicking your ass as much as it probably could. You finished three of your four essays due, completed a project that was 35% of your final grade, and managed to study for at least 10 minutes in the passed week.

And now, here you lay, your laptop perched on the bed in front of you with Netflix pulled up in the screen and a large bag of Doritos beside you. Your well-earned reward — and you’re enjoying it, too. Well, until—

“Hey!” The bubbly brunette you fondly called your roommate plummets onto your bed before you register her presence, and the presence of her red headed girlfriend who trails in after. “Guess what?”

“You and Rose decided to take a spontaneous trip to Hawaii and leave me to watch Luke Cage?” You try with a wishful smile, knowing damn well what she was about to propose as soon as she pulled up her Twitter. “A party? Really?”

“Yes!” Jennie grins brightly, shoving the screen in your face. A tweet from the man himself, Jackson Wang, is on the screen, and you barely catch the words party and insane before she yanks it back. “Jackson is throwing another party this Friday and since there’s nothing too important coming up, I demand that you attend—”

“I don’t think so,” you laugh in disbelief, turning back to your relaxing setup. “No more parties for me—”

“Oh, come on,” Jennie’s face drops as she groans, slumping her body over your back dramatically — it was times like this that her fine arts major really came out. “The last party you went to was weeks ago! The last guy that you slept with was ages ago and it was terrible and it’s making you cranky—”

“I am not cranky!” You interrupt in indignation, eyes wide. At the pointed look that’s shot at you from both girls, you deflate. “That guy wasn’t that bad. What’s your point?”

“Our point,” Rose speaks with a furrow of her eyebrows, “is that since you slept with You-Know-Who—” Her eyes narrow warningly when your mouth opens to make a Voldemort joke— “You’ve been in a slump. And it’s making you angry at everything.”

“So you think I should go to a party to get wasted and fuck someone?” You retort, rolling your eyes, “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t have to get wasted,” Jennie whines, tugging at your arm. “Look, me and Rose are going too. We’ll stay with you until you get some nice piece of meat to play with—”

Ew—

“And then you can be happy and we’ll be happy because you’re happy!” She concludes with a cheeky grin.

You ponder her offer, swimming between whether or not you should listen to your ultracrepidarian best friend. Your hesitance shows obviously on your face, and Jennie pouts. “Please? I haven’t been to a party with my best friend in weeks—”

You sigh, pulling your arms from your grip and wriggling your body to roll Jennie off of your back. “Whatever, whatever. Can I watch this in peace now?”

Squeals and whatnot ensue, but you can only roll your eyes and push your earphones in further, grabbing another handful of Doritos.

•••

Nothing had ever irritated Jeon Jungkook as much as this particular thing was.

Keep reading

bts personality analysis: taehyung

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

i found it quite difficult to nail this analysis down - this is the only member i actually had to plan before writing. taehyung has a personality that kind of confuses me because he is everything all at once. he is such a big character that i dont think i could possibly understand him wholly; and understanding is what i do best. i think what makes taehyung so big is his lust for life. he is curious and he doesn’t hold back. he has no qualms when it comes to judgement. taehyung is dynamic. he is so entertaining to watch and thats what makes him so popular. people want a taste of the zest he has, they want that to be as bright as him. but they cant, because taehyung will always be the star of the show and he doesn’t even try. he will always be one step ahead of everyone as they try to catch up but he isn’t a conformist, he is a trendsetter. he does things that arent mainstream and his singularity will bring copycats. thats just the type of person taehyung is. 

i dont think thats the only reason why taehyung is popular amongst idols or why he has so many friends, i think he also has a knack for communication. it is natural to him which makes him seem more charismatic and his energy will ultimately empower those around him. taehyung has so many big ideas because his mind is always whirring and because he has his own language, inadvertently persuades whoever he is with. he has the power to inspire who he is with just with his words. taehyung also brings out the best in people and i think the fact that he is humble is why he is likeable.

taehyungs mind never stops and is always filled with thoughts and dreams and this curious nature brings him to be fascinated by small things. this fascination is why taehyung is so observant and why he seems to just watch over sometimes, eyes glazed over. he is so lost in his own thoughts that he has left his body to live in hise mind. but this endless stream of thoughts could be considered both a strength and a flaw. a strength; taehyung knows himself and his thoughts like the back of his hand, he is interested in things and this curiosity is his drive to try new things. a weakness; taehyung is highly emotional and is very in touch with his own emotions so being in his own head could lead to negative thoughts and create unnecessary insecurities. 

taehyung has a need for independence, he doesn’t like when he has to rely on someone. you see this when he brings up hold me tight, of course, he is proud. but i think he is just reminding others that that is his own work. his. independently. he likes when he has credit and when people acknowledge this. taehyung feels as though rules are restraint and would much prefer to be set free. he likes to be seen as independent, he wants to be seen as someone that can do things for himself. but, unfortunately, taehyung has assigned himself to the kpop industry where independence is a desire that wont be attained. this would stress taehyung out and i can see that taehyung would possibly be sad in his position if it weren’t for his other members.

i think that taehyung really does look up to jin as an older brother and has a great amount of respect for him and ive noticed that he always laughs at jins jokes!!! a+ concept!!! yoongi and taehyung are a fun pair to analyse because they are so different; yoongi values realism and taehyung values optimism. they both see the world in juxtaposing ways and thats why i think that they would be a good pair since i believe that opposites do attract. hoseok and taehyung are strange because as much as i love their interactions, they both seem too intense for each other. both of them have such strong characters that i feel like they can only be around each other for a certain amount of time before it drives either one insane. namjoon and taehyung are cute!!! namjoon has a soft spot for cuteness and i think thats why tae and him are so close. taehyung loves to listen and namjoon loves to talk. good combo. jimin and taehyung are also one of my favourite relationships in bangtan because they seem to understand each other. they have this deep brotherly bond that they have formed over the years and i think its a really important relationship for jimins psyche because taehyung understands jimins personality better than i think anyone else does. its really beautiful to watch them interact and hear their inside jokes. taehyung and jungkook are another one of my favourite relationships because jungkook can keep taehyung on his toes and thats what taehyung needs, he needs someone that can keep up with him and give him a run for his money. he loves the competition and thats what jungkook brings.

kim taehyung - enfp/capricorn. pioneer, zest, curious, character.

kim seokjin ; min yoongi ; jung hoseok ; kim namjoon ; park jimin