beetle love

I got revenge on my neighbor, and he still has no idea I even did anything to him.

My neighbor from a couple of doors down and I had a long running feud. It all started when his dog came in to my backyard, and my dog attacked it. I was nearby, and able to call my dog off before it got serious, but the other dog had a couple of bite wounds.

The neighbor wanted me to pay the vet bill. When he threatened me with a lawsuit, I offered to pay half, even though I owed him nothing; it was his dog that was off the leash and in my yard, after all. He declined the offer, took me to small claims court, and lost. The trial lasted all of 3 minutes when the judge found in my favor.

That set in to motion him starting to fuck with me on a regular basis. My garbage cans would get knocked over every trash day. He would honk his horn and flip me off if he drove by my house. He tried to get my 10 year old son arrested for riding another neighbors mini bike (never called the cops on their kids, just mine.) It was all stupid petty crap. But it was a lot of stupid petty crap, and we were growing frustrated and mildly concerned what he might do.

We eventually grew tired of it, and filed a restraining order against him. We dropped the legal case against him when we recieved a letter from his lawyer stating that he would refrain from any sort of contact with any of my family for a period of 2 years. Things settled down at that point.

But I was not yet satisfied. I had been staying on the high road through all of this, not responding to any of his bullshittery in any way. I had a desire to get revenge, but never acted on it. Then one day, I hatched my plan of evil genius.

I was in the hardware store and I noticed some Japanese Beetle traps. These traps are just a plastic bag with a scent pack; the beetles are drawn to the scent, fall in the bag, and can’t get out. They also sold refill packages of the scent packs only, 4 per package.

My neighbor has a very large rose garden in his front lawn. It is his pride and joy.

Japanese beetles love roses.

So I bought 4 packages of the refill packs. The scent pack is a waxy substance in a shallow plastic cup. I put the packs in the freezer overnight, to allow me to pull the wax out easily.

The next morning, I woke up at 3am. I popped the wax squares out of their cups, and put them in a baggie. Then I crept over to my neighbors house and spread the wax squares in the mulch under his rose garden, covering them from view with a bit of the hardwood mulch.

That day was a hot one. By 11am it was north of 90 degrees F. I figured the wax had probably melted in to the dark mulch. Also by 11AM, the Japanese beetles were starting to arrive at my neighbors roses. I went on a bike ride later in the evening, and could see a small swarm of them attacking the roses. My neighbor had not yet noticed what was happening.

By noon the next day, there was a freaking cloud of them. There had to be hundreds, if not thousands. My neighbor noticed. That afternoon, I could see him spraying them and spreading Sevin powder and waving his arms in the air in frustration.

By the third day, there were thousands of the beetles, if not tens of thousands. They were everywhere in his front lawn and wreaking havoc on his roses.

By the end 4th day, there was nothing left of his rose garden, other than a few tattered leaves and the thorny stalks.

Those damned scent packs must have drawn every Japanese beetle in for miles around. I had never seen so many in a single place.

And that was it. The deed was done, and I was satisfied and laughing…quietly to myself, but laughing and laughing. And I never told a soul what I did, not even my wife.

This was a few years ago, and his rose garden is fully recovered now. And it will stay beautiful so long as he keeps being a quiet neighbor.

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@coredesignixandnekonee I am so sorry that it took me an actual month. I have re-drawn this 4 times because it didn’t look good. And to be honest, I am still a bit iffy about this. I’ve never done a “comic” (can this be even considered a comic?) so I’m sorry if the overall flow is weird, the dialog is off, etc. By the way, they are in the Watchtower, I couldn’t think of a background so I just did galaxy. 

It’s not done yet though! I will continue this because 1.) I am sorry for taking so long and 2.) This is a good, angsty headcanon and I think it deserves some more attention. I hope you like it so far!

Next (if I don’t post part 2 in a month spam me)

((Edit: Dudes you didn’t spam me how can I trust y’all now i’m kidding I love you))

Special thanks to @sohotthateveryonedied for the awesome joke.^^