NOT THE BEES

It’s not even much past 7AM and I’m already tired. I got up at around 6AM. Fed the cats, got some coffee, normal stuff. Then I noticed something on the coffee maker. It was a bee, just chillin’. How did he get in my house undetected? Now, I like bees, just not in my house. I’ve never gotten stung by a bee, and I wasn’t gonna ruin my good record. Plus, what if there were more bees in the house? Was this a coup?

I had to figure out how to get this bee out of my house. I didn’t want to kill the bee, but I didn’t know if he would freak out if he was manhandled. Shit. Oh well. So, I got a paper towel and nudged him. Nothing. I tried to get him to climb on the towel. He did, eventually. Great, awesome. I took him outside, hoping he’d just fly off. Nope. Of course not. 

There’s a tree right outside my door so I tried to encourage him to get on a leaf. He would not get on the leaf. After about five minutes of this shit, I heard a jingle. I look over and both cats had decided to meander outside. I had left the sliding door open a crack like a moron. I put the paper towel on the tree, the bee could figure that shit out on his own time. I now had a bigger problem. 

“WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES DOING OUTSIDE???”

Safety Cat ran inside immediately. Fluff was busy sniffing stuff so she was easy to grab and put inside. Geez, good thing my neighbors already think I’m insane. Oh my fucking god. At least I got rid of the bee. 

FIN

The bumblebee was officially added to the endangered species list.

 Please:

  • Go plant an organic flower native to wherever you are
  • Leave your “weeds” alone they probably aren’t hurting anything
  • Stop using/buying Roundup and all other insecticides, herbicides, pesticides. 
  • If you have a bee problem (which almost never happens) call a local beekeeper! They will remove them safely free of charge
  • Bumblebees usually nest underground and just wanna be left alone! They won’t hurt you. To prevent destroying their habit during hibernation, avoid mowing yards until April or May. If you do mow, raise the blades to the highest setting

Please save my fat clumsy fuzzy friends I love them and they’re very good pollinators.

instagram

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what i love about tumblr romanticizing bees is that a lot of us grew up being scared of them. but now there’s people appreciating their aesthetic, their nature, their existence, and it’s just nice

that doesn’t necessarily equate in people fighting for bees, or planting adequate flowers for them, but the chances for that happening are a lot higher. i know for a fact that i profited off those posts on how to help bees that were/are going around

i like the romanticization of bees. it gives me a tiny chunk of peace

girls were bees. gentle and soft but got known for their stingers. hopelessly working while nobody noticed; got yelled at for just doing their job. girl were doing their best and still got swatted out of the air like they were a pest. they got caught in glass jars until they suffocated. nobody looked twice when the bees were dying. nobody looks twice when it’s girls that are dying. somebody promises we’ll have robot bees soon and it’s a great idea. but did you know that bees dance, did you know they sing, did you know that they’re loyal and focused on community. you ever see a girl dance. this is what i mean.