beers i want to try

“It doesn’t fit me at all,” I told my uncle, coming out of the bathroom in the white tank top – the kids at school called those wifebeaters, I had no idea why – and the blue athletic shorts he asked me to try on.  I thought it was strange that he’d ask me to wear clothes that didn’t even fit me.

“I think it’ll fit you well,” uncle Jack answered, scratching his beard and looking at my curiously.  He had his big bare feet up on the coffee table, which was also weird.  Usually he left his boots on in the house.

“Hey boy (I hated when he called me that), come over here, I want you to try some of this beer I bought.  Local brew, not quite a moonshine.  Your daddy ever let you have a beer?

"No,” I said, knowing I couldn’t stand the kids in my class who drank.  I don’t know why anybody would when they say it causes brain damage and isn’t even healthy.

“I want you to take this beer and chug it, he said, picking up a frothy-looking mug and handing it across the table.  He had his arm extended to me, and I could see the dark, black hair that laid flat on his muscular forearm and on the back of his hand, as well as smell the cold foam and the strange taste of the beer.

"Uncle Jake, I’d rather not, can I change back into my own clothes now?”

“You can put ‘em back on if you want after you drink this,” he said, laughing and flashing his bright white teeth at me in a grin.

“Is it gross?” I said, still wondering if I could get out of this.

“Nah it’s not gross, boy, just chug it.  After your first one you learn to like it.  Trust me,” he smiled.

Ok, I thought, why not, one couldn’t hurt and at least I’d know.  I picked up the mug, cold to the touch, and put it to my lips.  It tasted bitter.  I shuddered a little.  I could probably chug it down, still.  I started sipping, trying not to choke on it, and pretty soon I was gulping it down.

“How was it?” uncle Jake asked me.

“It was pretty nasty,” I said, “but I don’t feel drunk.  I thought it was supposed to do that?”

“Just stand there a minute,” Jake said.

So I did, but I still wasn’t feeling anything.  After a couple of minutes, just feeling like an idiot waiting for something to happen, I felt my stomach rumble a little.  I reached down to feel it and surprised myself when it flipped over a little.  Suddenly I felt woozy.  "Excuse me,“ I started to say, but was getting dizzy and fell down on one knee.

"Stand up,” Jake said.  I thought I was maybe going to puke.

“Ok,” I groaned, feeling woozy for sure.  I stood up.  The room had definitely started to spin, it looked like.

“I want you to flex and say you love your muscles,” Jake said, looking at me intently.

“What - whu…” I said, thinking this was getting way too weird for me.

“Just say it, boy,” Jake said.  "Say it.“

Oh god.  Well, what did I have to lose?  I lifted my arms up and said, "I love my muscles.”  I don’t think I sounded convincing.  I felt groggy.

“Say it again.  Louder.”

I did as uncle Jake asked, surprisingly myself with how loud I said it, actually.  I felt strange, like I was swelling up, and as I talked about my muscles it was almost like my mind had loosened up somehow.

“What… what’s happening?” I said, realizing that I was swelling up.  I could see it on my arms, and noticed my legs were getting thicker too.  I looked athletic, even, and my voice sounded deeper.

I looked over at Jake.  Suddenly I was noticing the hair on his forearms and thinking maybe it wasn’t so gross after all, there was something intriguing about it.  I wondered absently what his chest looked like under that shirt.  I couldn’t believe I was thinking these things, but something about it all seemed very exciting to me.

And whatever was happening to me, weird as it was, was seeming exciting too, like I had more energy and like I was becoming unbound.  I wanted to flex.  "Yeah, what’s happening?“ I said, thinking that sounded stupid as I raised my arms and flexed again, hard as I could just to see how it felt.  As I did it felt like my arms swelled up even more, and like something just cut loose in my mind, snapped or something.  It felt weird.

"You’re really starting to fill out that tank, boy,” Uncle Jake said, grinning, a glint of something exciting in his eye.  It seemed kind of predatory to me but I made eye contact with him anyhow.  I wondered where this was headed.

“Yeah?” I just said, not knowing what to say.  My voice really did sound deeper.

“Yeah you are,” he said as I scratched my chin.  It felt rough all of a sudden, like I had a goatee growing in.  Whoa.

“This… the beer did this?” I said, hating how dumb I sounded to myself but I supposed I was drunk.  There was something exciting about sounding like this, too, like maybe I could just let loose and have some fun too.  My mind felt like it loosened up even more.  I really was loving how Jake was just kicking back, so casual, hair swirling out from his pants legs where his bare fucking feet were still up on the table.  I didn’t know why but that was exciting me too.  I felt my dick start to get hard under the silky fabric of my shorts.  I wondered if Jake would notice.  It was weird but like this was all supposed to be happening so I just went with it.

“Yeah it sure did,” Jake said, grinning, walking over to me and putting a hand on my bicep.  "Flex this,“ he said.

I complied, excited by the feel of this big bare hand on my muscle, and felt my dick get even harder.  I flexed it as hard as it could.  It seemed to get even more swole.

"You think maybe soon you’ll be ready for your second beer?” Jake said, looking me in the eye almost as if to dare me.  "Or you want to just ride this one out tonight?“

I realized I was drooling.  The beard on uncle Jake’s face looked so interesting all of a sudden, and he smelled so good.  I opened my mouth to answer and lifted a hand up to wipe the drool away.  Whoa, my arm had really gotten big.

"I…uh…” I was focused on Jake’s mouth, his warm breath, how deep and rich his voice sounded.  I just wanted him to move closer to me for some reason.

“I can get you another beer if you want, boy.  I don’t know if you’re ready for it though.”

“Yeah, get me another beer, man,” I said, not knowing what else to say, just knowing that my dick was pressing up against my stomach hard under my shorts and that I’d do whatever he said.  I was really curious what he’d look like without a shirt on for some reason, and though that was weird it was almost making my dick drool.  I hoped he’d stand right next to me while I drank the next one, or we could… well, I wasn’t sure, but I sure wanted to find out.


i try not to be a ~*Beer Person*~ publicly but here’s some of the nifty stuff I’ve tried recently. gotta award bonus points for Anime Elf.

not sure what it is with beers and seafood (or maybe just me and seafood-beers) but I’ve had oyster, fish and kelp-containing beers so far. Nitro and Garún were the winners for me!


We hit up a new Vietnamese joint for dinner and stumbled upon an adorable novelty toy, candy and soda shop next door. I picked up a few sodas to bring home. It was great to finally find the Abita Root Beer. I’ll definitely go back for more. I want to try the Big Red soda (it’s cherry flavored) and the Judge Wapner Root Beer next time.