a picture from the detroit rink’s 80′s night where yuuri’s ass looked incredible in purple lamé tights, and his bulge was poorly concealed behind a neon green and pink D.A.R.E fanny pack. “talk to celestino,” phichit says. “he’s the one with the video of yuuri skating a routine to olivia newton john’s ‘let’s get physical’”
yuuri blackout drunk at a cowboy bar, and attempting to drink a beer while riding a mechanical bull. he seems to be fine on the bull, curved into it with a cat-like stretch, but the drink is pouring down the side of his mouth and running down his exposed chest, all of the buttons of his shirt undone. his face is determined and his abs are glistening and his ass is pushed out like an invitation and victor gets off to it three times in a 24-hour period.
yuuri passed out on a couch, sharpie messages all over his face like “VICTOR NIKIFOROV’S DICK GOES HERE” with an arrow pointed to his mouth, and “IF FOUND, RETURN TO PHICHIT CHULANONT” on his forehead. he’s drooling into a pillow with a big smile on his face.
a picture yuuri never knew phichit took where he’s sitting in the window of their old apartment with a mug of something steaming, watching the snow fall outside. he looks soft and radiant, ethereal almost with the glow of winter catching him in all the right places.
yuuri drunk in the backseat of a car, crying while holding roughly thirty big macs from mcdonalds. “i can’t remember if he was happy crying or sad crying,” phichit admits. “either way, it’s incredible.”
in a medium sized punch bowl combine:
-half a bottle of lemon vodka
-half a bottle of orange vodka
-three grapefruit beers
-one can of red bull: orange edition
-one can of red bull: yellow edition
-fill the rest of the bowl with lemonade
My friend told me about how one time she went to the beach and saw a bunch of marine biology students having a party in lobster costumes and chugging beer through bull kelp and now I can’t take marine biology seriously
She was sitting on the love seat in her living room, her legs up to her chest, staring in space. Empty beer and Red Bull cans and an empty bottle of tequila was scattered around her, a few tissues here and there. She still can’t believe he moved on so fast. They’ve only been apart for a month and there’s pictures of him all over magazines, twitter, and instagram with some new blonde bimbo he probably met in the club. Calum and Avery were together for exactly two years, four months, and two weeks. She remembered it all perfectly. The day they first met, every anniversary, all the times they’ve spent together, how she walked in on him cheating on her, the big argument they had, and now. Her feeling like she has no purpose, like she wasn’t good enough. She’s sitting at home alone and broken while he’s out with his new girlfriend, living a happy life. Avery was beyond drunk at this point, drunk was an understatement. So when she picked up the phone, dialing the number she had learned by heart and waited for him to answer, she didn’t realize this was a stupid mistake. It was on the fourth ring when he picked up.
“Hello?” He answered, his voice raspy from sleep. Avery was also so drunk that she didn’t realize it was three in the morning.
“C-Calum?” She whimpered out and he sighed deeply.
“What Avery?” He questioned and she heard shuffling on his end and a door open and close. He was probably leaving the room where his girlfriend was in.
“How could you.?”
“How could you cheat on me and then stay with that bitch like it’s nothing? Did you love me at all? Was I worth anything to you?” She questioned him, eyes tearing up and she sniffed.
“Avery.” He sighed. “Why are you calling me?”
“Because I want to know why you don’t love me anymore!” She cried out. She knew she looked pathetic. Hell, she felt pathetic.
“No! What did I do that made you hate me, Cal? Why am I not good enough for you?” She was full on sobbing and honestly it broke his heart. Yeah, he cheated on her and stayed with the girl, but he did feel awful about it. He never wanted to hurt her like this at all, and he doesn’t want to be with this girl honestly, but he has his reasons. It was all for a good cause. His heart was still with Avery and probably always will be, but he has to move on eventually. It’ll be hard and he’ll be in pain, but it’s all worth it for her safety.
“Avery, just calm down. Stop crying… please.” He spoke and waited until her crying subsided a little.
“Can you come over?”
“You know I can’t do that.” He told her, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. All he wanted to do was to go see her, comfort her, explain why he did what he did and why they can’t be together, but he can’t. She’ll find out and then do what she had planned form the beginning and that was just something Calum would not let happen.
“P-please.” She cried and he physically felt pain in his chest.
“I can’t, Aves.”
At the moment he heard his bedroom door open and went into panic mode.
“I have to go.”
Then the line went dead. She felt the tears pool at the bottom of her eyes and screamed out, throwing her phone. She didn’t even care when she heard it shatter against the wall, her cries causing her body to shake. Avery stood up, walking slowly into the kitchen, going into the cabinet to find the bottle of Jack. She opened it and took a long chug of it.
She needed to find a way to cope with this pain. Usually she would talk to Calum, but that’s not an option anymore. Maybe if I…write my feelings? Poetry, a letter, maybe a song. She thought and grabbed a notebook and a black pen. Avery sat back on the love seat and just stared at the paper in her hand, waiting for her mind to think of what to write. After five minutes had passed she finally had figured out what to write; a song.
I’ve been up three days
Adderall and Redbull
She wrote thinking of how she honestly has been up for three days straight, drinking and taking it with her ADHD medicine even though it was dangerous. At this point she didn’t care if she was didn’t dad or alive, because since Calum is gone she feels dead inside anyway.
This call is a mistake
There’s something strong in this water bottle
She’s not sure where that part came from, but it sounded right with the lyrics so far. She began thinking about his new girlfriend who now that she thought about it reminded her of a barbie doll. Long blonde, perfect body, caked on makeup, pink everything. She had no personality and just followed what was mainstream. In Avery’s opinon she was completely irrelevant.
I hear you got a new chick
A dancing little Barbie doll
I feel so pathetic
But you still haven’t heard it all
At this point the lyrics were just flowing naturally from her brain as if she’s been writing songs her whole life.
Fuck that new girl that you like so bad
She’s not crazy like me I bet you like that
She was now writing about little Ms. Barbie. He always used to tell Avery that he loved how hyper she was and that she was so exciting and adventurous. Now he’s settled for someone who considers shopping as a sport and shopping sprees adventurous and would rather not go hiking in fear of messing up her shoes. A full out girly girl and not someone like Avery who would do girly things, but didn’t mind getting dirty.
I Said Fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
And when you’re in her I know I’m in your head
She drunkenly laughed at herself for those two lines. Reaching over to pick up the bottle of Jack and chugging it down. She sat the bottle on the table once again and picked up the pen once again. Avery knew that Calum still thought about her, no matter how hard hell deny it, he does.
I’m just saying you can do better
Always turned you out every time we were together
Once you had the best you can’t do better
Baby I’m the best so you can’t do better
Of course she was beyond drunk, heartbroken, and jealous, but she was lying. Calum will never find anyone who loves him more than her, he would never find anyone that would top her. She knows she sounds crazy and possessive, but that’s just facts. Especially when it comes to his new girlfriend.
Avery fell asleep on the love seat, notebook and pen in her hand. She was beyond grateful that the Jack knocked her out cold. She was tired of thinking, tired of hurting, but she knew once she wakes up it would just start all over again.
I’m making a Part 2 and posting it tomorrow. I’m actually satisfied with this, honestly. Send in request and follow♡♡♡
Sera: “Bull, you like overthinking, right? I’ve got an idea.” Iron Bull: “All right. Hit me.” Sera: “You’re not throwing piss, but I could ride on your shoulders? You run and hit, I shoot.” Iron Bull: “Hmm. You standing or sitting?” Sera: “Sit on your own horns. I stand.” Iron Bull: “Right, sorry. So we’d be like a mobile siege platform. (grunts) Yeah… this could work.” Sera: “Or! Wait! No! Better idea! Ice cream in beer!” Iron Bull: “Uh, sure. That’s… not at all the same thing, but all right.” Sera: “It’s probably shit. It’ll be great!”
Sera: “Seems like that business at Adamant really worked you up, huh?” Iron Bull: “And Halamshiral pissed you off something fierce.” Sera: “We’re like a guild. The ‘hate this rubbish’ guild.” Iron Bull: “We should get shirts. Probably need different sizes.”
Iron Bull: “Hey, was that you back at Skyhold, with the custard?” Sera: “Did you see it, all down the stairs?” Iron Bull: “It was beautiful.”
Wade Wilson proves to need his muzzle outside of the bedroom when a night out with your friends goes awry…
Warnings: Language (I mean, it’s Wade Wilson.)
“This should go without saying, but since you’re actually eight years old,” I said before turning to look him straight in the eye, “please be on your best behavior.”
“Oooh, I love it when you play mommy. If I’m not does this mean I get a spanking?” He bent a little to poke his butt at me. Couldn’t say that I was very surprised; telling Wade Wilson to behave was like telling water not to be wet.
I rolled my eyes. “By best behavior I mean I’d like to still have friends by the end of this dinner. I think you can handle that.”
“Ugh, sounds boring. C’mon, mommy, make me wanna be a good boy.”
“Fine. If you behave tonight I’ll let you do that thing you’ve been wanting to try in bed.” I looked at him with a raised brow.
He gasped. “You mean…”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“Are you gonna go easy on ‘em?” I held out my pinky for him to pinky promise.
“I will go easier than me in a whorehouse.” He hooked his pinky with mine, and on that agreement, we headed into the restaurant for what would hopefully be a nice night of dinner and drinks with my friends.
I’m so mad after seeing that video of harry checking his forehead to see if he was bleeding because he actually had to worry if he was bleeding while he was performing FOR YOU because your dumb ass decided to throw a red bull or whatever the fuck it was at him. stop throwing shit at the boys, like if you want to be noticed that bad throw a teddy bear or a shirt or something soft not a beer or red bull can that can actually hurt one of the boys physically or give them a concussion and also someone threw a camera at louis and people said he genuinely looked pissed and said something and several times niall has said not to throw things at them because it hurts so please just stop throwing things at the boys it’s not nice or cute.
Summary: You had a crush on Dean for a long time now. And it´s time: you reveal your feelings for him. But his only reaction is flirting with the barkeeper. Mad at him, you rush to the bunker. Time for some revenge… (requested by anon)
Pairing: Reader x Dean, Reader x Sam
Words: ~ 3300
Warnings: language, smut, fluffy smut
You rub your eyes, looking down at the book. The sentence doesn´t make any sense! Again, you read it: ‘While Yggdrasil is not mentioned by name in the poem and other trees exist in Norse mythology, the tree is universally accepted as Yggdrasil, and if the tree is Yggdrasil, then the name Yggdrasil directly relates to this story.’ No, you just can´t focus. Taking a look at the cover: Norse Mythology, A Guide to the Gods, Heroes, Rituals and Beliefs – page 321. You put it aside, head hanging low, supported by your hands.”Y/N?” Sams voice let you snap up. He´s sitting across the table, his hands on the keys of his laptop. The corners of his mouth lifts, his voice clam: “Go to bed, we´re almost done here.” “But I´m not tired!” You whine out loud, resting your forehead on the cold surface of the table. “I just can´t concentrate.” Your voice muffles against the wood. “Then do something else. I´m fine, really!” You face him again. The smile on his face let you smile yourself. You groan while standing up, leaving the books as they are. Cupping Sams face, you place a kiss on his forehead before ruffling his hair and facing the exit. Standing in the hallway, you release a deep sigh. Video-games? Book? Cooking? You shift from one foot to the other. Another deep sigh. Dean. Let´s see what he´s up to. The last time you saw him, he´s been watching movies in his room.
Yoongi has no idea how it happened. Maybe it is the red bull, beer and coffee. Or maybe, it is all that pent-up frustration of being cooped up in their room for days on end and still not making much progress on the new song. Either way, Namjoon backing him onto the couch comes as a bit of a surprise. But he supposes at this point, anything is preferable to his own hand because when your life is centred around being an idol with no time for yourself, that’s pretty much all you got. And he admits Namjoon rutting into him kind of feels good.
Namjoon’s kiss is wet and sloppy and he grabs a fistful of Namjoon’s hair and yanks his head back. Because if they are going to fuck, then they should at least kiss properly. Namjoon hisses but it is swallowed by Yoongi’s lips as he angles his head and slants his mouth across his. He seems encouraged by the kiss, because his hand inches up beneath his shirt, fingers spanning his midriff. It feels different from sex with a girl, because he isn’t afraid of being rough. Not when Namjoon is practically rutting and rocking against him, one thigh wedged between his legs and pressing him into the couch. Namjoon moves his lips onto his neck. Then he feels Namjoon’s hand palming him, and fingers struggling with his buckle. At the back of his mind, he thinks shit, we are really doing this. And he realises he has muttered it aloud because Namjoon stops, blinks at him.
“Hyung, we can stop if you want.” Namjoon’s voice is hoarse and he looks uncertain for someone who’s supposedly their leader and normally so sure.
Yoongi narrows his eyes at him and gives him a light swat on the head.
“Are you kidding me? You started this. You finish it.”