100% Totally Accurate Facts About Your Favorite Jedi
1. Depa Biliba is the reigning Jedi Temple Beer Pong Champion.
2. It’s well established that Anakin Skywalker eats live bugs. Less well known is that Ahsoka has moved up the food chain to live small vertebrates.
3. Mace Windu has played Dr. Frankenfurter on stage. Three times. He’s got a lovely voice and the legs for the role.
4. 67% of all chupacabra sightings are actually Master Yoda.
5. Obi-wan Kenobi has “lost” a total of twelve robes since the war began, However, at least three of them are in his Commander’s foot locker.
6. Quinlan Vos has technically only broken one bone in his life, his left radius. However, he’s broken it on seventeen separate occasions, mostly by doing “Stupid shit” according to his commander.
7. Jocasta Nu can rap like hell, and has been a contributing artist on several underground albums.
8. Plo Koon is considered massively attractive for a Kel-Dor. He rarely visits his home-world because he doesn’t like the attention.
9. Kit Fisto cries whenever he sees baby animals. They’re so small.
10. Aalya Secura is a Certified Tax Accountant, and does a side business on the rare occasion things are slow.
11. Shaak Ti didn’t realize she actually IS venomous until she was well into her thirties. She didn’t realize she was dyslexic either. Jedi healthcare is a goddamn mess.