beer eh

One week left!

Are you all ready?! (Are we? :o)

7 days left before the party gets started! Earlier submissions are also allowed as long as you specify when we post it. If you participate on twitter, make sure to add @juminzenweek​ so we can retweet it. And for tumblr, don’t forget to tag your work with #juminzenweek on the first three tags.

To get everyone hyped, below is a teaser for an upcoming NSFW fic!

Day 1: Secrets

It was performance night at Zen’s favorite bar. A small line-up of wannabe famous artists did their best to shine in their 5 minutes of fame on stage. Zen enjoyed watching them, even if his vision was slightly blurry - he may or may not have had too many drinks.

“Maybe calm down on the beers, eh?” The bartender spoke over the applause of the crowd, passing him another glass.

Pfft, he wasn’t that drunk. Maybe. As Zen chugged his beer, a man dressed as PaRappa the Rapper came on stage. How ridiculous, Zen thought and chuckled.

“Yo drop the beat/out in the street/cats in da hood/follow me like they should-“

Zen almost spat out his beer. What the hell?? His nose itched and he wondered if he should boo him. As the man continued undeterred, his deep voice started to mesmerize Zen. Soon he found himself staring at the man, not hearing words anymore, just the smooth timbre that resonated through his body. The rapper was quite handsome too, he noted, even with that awful sweater on. His saggy pants showed off just a line of pale skin and Zen wished it would drop even more.

When the rap ended, the man reverse dabbed and left the stage under applause. Zen was pulled out his trance and blinked a few times.

“Enjoyed it, did you?” The barman smiled as he wiped a glass clean.

Zen scoffed. Hell no. Nevertheless, Zen’s gaze followed the dark-haired man who looked rather uncomfortable with so many people around him and left for the dressing rooms.

Why was he even here if he didn’t like it? What kind of man wouldn’t relish talking to possible fans and handing out photographs?? Was he some kind of weirdo? (He had to be with that subject.)

Maybe he should go and tell him exactly that. It wasn’t because he wanted to see him again, no. That would be silly.

Zen tried not to trip as he woozily made his way past the crowd and entered the only dressing room with the lights on, where the wannabe PaRappa was all alone, about to take off his red beanie.

“Hey *hic*, you!” Zen called out.

The rapper looked like he was going to have a heart attack when he saw Zen. Quickly, he put the beanie back on properly and coughed. “Yo yo, can I help you?”

He was trying to warp his voice, making himself sound higher pitched. Zen laughed, this man definitely wasn’t a good actor.

“Yeah, what’s up with your shitty rap?” The alcohol made him feel mighty confident, as when the rapper defensively crossed his arms.

“Everyone outside seemed to like it.”

“That applause was just because you’re hot, not because you can rap.”

The raven-haired man’s eyebrows shot up from behind his sunglasses. “You think I’m hot?”

Oh damn it. Well whatever, he could admit it to this total stranger.

“Yeah, I do, you’re fucking hot. And you made my allergies act up. *hic*” For some reason, this guy reminded Zen of another handsome jerk with a cat obsession. “I demand you make up to me for it.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Zen copied his devilish smirk. “Well…”

The Best Gifts

Jacob Frye x Reader

A/N: So, haha, funny story… This was actually supposed to be for the twins’ birthday, but y’know…


“Henry!” You shouted, clapping your hand roughly on his back. He nearly jumped out of his skin, two wide eyes looking to you immediately.

“Yes?” He inquired, the initial startle from your entrance wearing off.

“I could really use your help!” You grasped both hands tightly in front of you, pleading with Henry to help.

“With?” A skeptical brow was raised, the Assassin not entirely sure why you needed his help all of the sudden.

You were normally quite well on your own, and when the rare time came that you actually did need help, Jacob was always more than eager to volunteer. Leaning in closer to him, you dropped your voice down to a whisper.

“I don’t know what to get Jacob for his birthday.” You admitted weakly, gripping his shoulders in a tight grasp. “His birthday is today and I don’t know what to get him! Evie was easy, but Jacob?”

Your hands involuntarily squeezed harder, easing up when Henry hissed at the pain.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, “But I really need some help!”

Nodding once, he took a step back from your grip, eying your hands cautiously.

“Why not talk to Evie?” He questioned, crossing both arms over his chest. “Surely she would know what to get. And besides, I believe that you know what Jacob would like more than I would.”

You threw both hands into your hair, tugging at the roots with a groan.

“I can’t find Evie and I have no idea what to get him.” Dropping the hands from your hair, you jumped towards the Assassin again, gripping his shoulders with slightly less strength than the time before.

“What did you get him? Maybe that will help!” Henry opened his mouth to reply, closing it once again after a pause. He narrowed his gaze, sizing you up for a moment or two.

“Did Jacob put you up to this?” He asked. You gasped, placing a hand over your heart and another over your mouth.

“You think…” you trailed off. “You think I would go through all of this trouble to find out what you got for Jacob? I’m hurt! No, I am beyond hurt!” Henry shifted his footing, moving in slightly closer to you.

“What’d he do to get you to do this?” There was no evidence of hesitation any longer, a sign that he was definitely on to you.

Considering how often you and Jacob got into trouble together, it wasn’t that big of a stretch to think he’d send you in here to find out his present. Jacob really was impatient about surprises.

“He bought me a pint.” You shrugged, leaning back against the doorframe.

“Honestly?” Henry looked half impressed and half annoyed. You laughed at the sight, nodding.

“Yeah, I bet him you wouldn’t fall for it though. So now he owes me another.” A slow smirk spread across your lips, brows playfully raising.

“Have you actually found a gift for Jacob?” Henry asked curiously.

“Yep,” you replied, popping the ‘p’. “And he’s going to love it.”

That was a bit of an understatement. You had already given yourself multiple pats on the back for finding the gift. Hell, you’d go as far as saying that it was the best damn gift he’d ever receive. Nobody knew Jacob Frye like you did.

“I am sure he will.” Henry replied, something almost knowing behind the shining in his eyes.

Unfortunately, he didn’t give you much time to ponder it, going on about putting some finishing touches on his gift to Evie as he excused himself. You sighed to yourself, watching him retreat to the next cart. Jacob would probably be mad that you didn’t figure out Henry’s gift, but hey, at least you got a pint out of it. Smiling to yourself, you thought of your gift for the younger Frye. Oh, he was so going to love it.


“So?” Jacob held both hands in the air, a wide smirk spread on his lips. You rolled your eyes at him, admiring his features beneath your lashes. He may be your best friend, but even you could admit how attractive he was.

“No luck.” You replied, holding out a hand for your pint.

He scowled, looking decidedly annoyed, before sliding the pint he’d ordered a few minutes prior to your side of the table.

“Damn, I really thought that’d work.” He sighed, one hand sliding through his dark hair. Jacob looked positively delightful under the warm glow of the pub, and not even the harsh smell of grimy patrons or the bitter taste of cheap beer could lessen that.

“Eh,” you shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back with the pint in one hand, “I knew it wasn’t going to. Henry knows us too well by now.”

“We’ll have to try something different next year.” Jacob mused, rubbing his chin in deep thought.

“Just a bit early for that, don’t you think?”

Your lips twitched up, his following soon after.

“I’ve got your gift.” You said, pulling out a small, blue box with a red ribbon. Unsurprisingly, Jacob looked like a child given permission to eat all the candy he’d like.

“You shouldn’t have.” He stated in an overly excited voice, taking the gift from your hands.

“I’m not one to brag,” you began, leaning back in the booth with a smirk. He was so going to love this. “But I did a damn good job at picking a present this year.”

With all the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning, Jacob tore at the paper, throwing it carelessly around him. He ripped into the box, smiling widely when he found the present inside. There, placed precariously in the middle (because yes, you know exactly how excited Jacob gets when opening gifts) was the shining metal of brass knuckles. Protruding from the golden glow was two clear words: Jacob Frye.

“The markings make it so your name is branded onto whoever you hit.” You explained, nearly jumping out of your skin when Jacob pounced forward, crushing you to his chest.

“You know me so well, love.” He claimed, pulling away to flash you a heart-throbbing smile.

“Nah, I just knew you’d like it because you’re a bloody brute.”

He rolled his eyes, seeming to make a decision in a split second. He gave you no prior warning, tugging you in and crashing his lips to yours. It was intoxicating, although that could be the beer talking. You eagerly reciprocated, your lips matching the rhythm of his. Just as his tongue traced your bottom lip, he pulled back. Shooting you a wink and a smirk, he took off, present in hand.

You sat there staring at the space he’d previously occupied, the taste of his heavy on your tongue. You breathed in the familiar scent of mint and alcohol, your lips curling up in a sweet smile. Oh, Jacob Frye, it is so on.

What if Homer Simpson walked into a Moe’s Southwest Grill but didn’t realize he’s at the wrong Moe’s.

“Yeah I’ll have the usual.”

“Would you like to add guacamole?”

“Guacamole in my beer? Eh heh heh
You Millennials and your fancy avocados.”

And then it still takes him 30 seconds to figure it out

“Something’s different about Moe’s…. *chomps on a Joey Bag of Donuts*
Hey! This burrito isn’t made of donuts!”

So ayun kakauwi ko lang mej wasted de tipsy lang pala hahahaah kasi ewan ko kasi usaapan namin si dani yung lalasingin per tinamaan ako sa vofka after nung beer kaya yun eh mahina naman ako uminom pota ano na maybpasok pako bukas pero keri lanf kasi nakauwi naman akong buhay kaya ypn yas

Fic: Mystery Contract, Chapter 2 (SFW edit)

FIC: Mystery Contract, Chapter 2 (SFW edit)
Stanley X Reader
Rating: a light PG13 for a fade to black just in time
Word count: ~600

“So what brings you out here, terrorizing small business owners into cheap dates?” You get comfortable in the warm nook under Stan’s arm.

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nothing like a single beer after work, eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh? eh?

6

Under the twinkling Christmas lights you’ll get grilled pork and colourful pickles, sugar coated candy apples and roasted chestnuts (not many left of these), a small bloke playing carols on his harmonica and pancakes with feta cheese, chimney cakes with everything and mulled wine… no need to remind you of everything a Christmas market can offer. The market in Cluj old town is no exception even if you only manage to reach it almost at closure time. What comes unexpected is, eh, beer. In winter, on the street, right. A delicious Sikaru Porter from the Ninkasi craft brewery of Bucharest, full of toasted malt with a hint of smoke (or was it the pork?) and bitter and hoppy and everything right, cool to know also Romanians can brew good stuff.

2

Vertical Limit

Back in 2012 Scottish craft beer dudes BrewDog were gettin’ ready to celebrate their 5th anniversary with all the usual party type things, y’know, cake, streamers, apple bobbing, a Livestreamed hot sauce circle jerk, but they just felt a certain summat was missin’. “Crikey fried fuck gizzards” they cried in unison, “We should probs make some beer or some shit, eh?”. And so they did. Based on the by now legendary AB:04, a teensy weensy batch of a chocolate, coffee, and chilli imperial stout for their boutique Abstrakt brand, the resulting Dog A was a chuffing great horny beast of a beer, and so were its 6th and 7th anniversary siblings, the entirely appropriately alphabetically named Dog B, and Doc C. I’d been meaning to do a vertical tasting of these wonders for a while but ‘twasn’t ‘til Christmas gone that I got ‘round to it. Aww yus!

‘Kay so I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it ‘til everyone’s sick of me then I’ll say it again. BrewDog, though better known for their hoppy pales, really shine with their stouts. Every damn one they make is magnificent and their best are a match for any I’ve ever had. This expression joins the original Black Eyed King Imp as my favourite of all their stouts. A 15%+ abv brew loaded with pure cacao and coffee and with naga chilli’s in a killer cameo role. So, Dog A then, and just the sight of that glorious sump oil-like liquid tumbling languidly into my glass caused goosebumps. ‘Tis a sublime brew erupting with mouth coating, rich, sweet, and complex flavours of dark chocolate, fine coffee, vanilla beans, stewed prunes, dates, figs, joy and magic. Add half a hedgerow’s worth of earthy, spicy, hops for added flavourama awesomness and a building bitterness towards the long, medium dry, and nicely warming finish, the cause of which can be shared by the smooth alcohol warmth and the perfectly judged naga chilli’s, and you’ve got it. *deep breath*

The other two are as you’d expect, just as deliriously flavoursome but with a slightly increasing intensity from their more mature and chilled out big brother. I think. I was in no fit state to make accurate notes or well, stand up, after these three. But whadda way to get wonky. Anyhoo, I’m off to see if I can get any more of these before they finally disappear for good, see y’all soon. 

Charlie's Chapter

Original Request:

Please do an imagine where the reader hunts with the Winchesters and is in the supernatural books (she likes Dean) and one day she meets Charlie who practically fangirls because of what happens with the reader and Dean in the book? She ends up telling the reader about it but she’s just like ‘nah it won’t happen’ then the following night, sparks fly and deanxreader have heavy making out sessions? Then Charlie catches them and she just squeals?

Notes: I have actually seen this request before and I’m stoked I got to write it! I tried to make it different so it wasn’t just a rehash of the same awesome stories I had read from this prompt. Hope it turned out alright! It was a blast to write!

Word Count: 1883

Warnings: Some swearing

Summary: You and the Winchesters meet up with Charlie after an intense hunt. She reveals to you her favorite chapter of the Supernatural books.

—-

It was dead silent, which was never a good sign, even on a salt and burn case. You held your shotgun full of rock salt close and at the ready. Dean had gone around the back of the house, and you the front. Sam went after the bones. The ghost of a scorned woman was always bad news. She had targeted men all across a small town in Nebraska, which of course brought you and the Winchesters calling.  You took the drive, found the ghost and were now finishing the job. Your heart paced with the adrenaline of the hunt. Each footstep, despite you being careful, seemed to send squeaks throughout the house. You heard a thud coming from the room adjacent. Dean screamed in frustration.

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Luke Hemmings Imagine - Challenge Me (Smut)

Warnings: mild smut this is more pg-13 than anything

Word Count: 1,669 ;)

IMAGINES // PREFERENCES // REQUEST 

// P A R T // T W O //

The sexual tension had been building up all night; everyone could see it, I just refused to believe that there was actual sexual tension between Luke and I. Luke of all people. I for one hated him and luckily, the feeling is mutual. He thought he was some sort of God with his lip piercing and soft blond hair and angelic voice and that’s not the point, he thought he was some hot shot when in reality, he isn’t. I couldn’t stand him.

***

The club was packed with people and the minute I stepped into the stuffy, sweaty club I wanted out. All the boys went their separate ways and as per usual, I was alone. I could spot Cal and Ash getting a drink, Mikey was chatting up some girl in a tight black dress and Luke was surrounded by 4 or 5 girls in dresses that left nothing to the imagination, typical Luke. 

I scoff and turn towards the bar, determined to have some fun tonight. I am not going to let Luke or one of his multiple whores to ruin my night. If I have to be here I am going to make the most of it.

“Give me a shot.” I say to the bartender and he nods, slamming a shot glass in front of me. The alcohol burns my throat and I shake off the sensation, signaling the bartender to pour me another shot. He refills the glass and I down it in a distant, already feeling slightly tipsy. I was a lightweight, a couple of shots or a drink or two and I would be drunk off my ass.

I grab a beer and hop off the tiny bar stool, looking around the crowded club. I find it funny how you can have the time of your life with complete strangers and then forget their name in less than two hours. The power of alcohol. People were grinding and laughing and giggling and having fun in general. 

I manage to spot Luke in the crowd of sweaty people. He was grinding against some brunette in a tube top and mini skirt. Knowing him he would either fuck her and then forget about her or just forget about her right then and there and then move on to his next prey. I pity the girls that got involved with Luke Hemmings.

I spot Ash talking to Calum about who knows what and find myself making my way over to my favorite drummer and bassist. 

“Having fun Y/N?” Ash asks, eyeing my beer.

“Eh. Too many people. I just want to leave to be honest." 

"Why don’t you dance with someone?”

“I don’t want to dance with some random stranger who only wants to get in between my legs.”

“That doesn’t have to be the case.” Ashton smirks, winking at Calum.

“You wanna dance, Y/N?" 

"Why not, Cal. Let’s go.” I smile, leading Cal towards the dance floor.

He places his hands on my hips and positions me so that my ass is lightly touching his crotch. We sway along to the music and manage to have a conversation while we grind. It wasn’t exactly boring but there wasn’t that exciting spark I normally felt. Calum and I were friends which is probably why my hormones weren’t flying all over the place, there wasn’t anything special between Cal and I.

Luke was staring and Calum and I, his eyes narrowed into tiny slits. What’s his problem? I am definitely not his property and I don’t see why he would have a problem with Calum dancing with me.

“Mind if I steal Y/N away for a few minutes?” Luke says, interrupting whatever the hell we were talking about.

“Uh sure dude, she’s all yours.” Calum backs off, seeming rather nervous as he slinks back to Ashton.

“What was that?” Luke deadpans, standing motionless in the middle of the dance floor.

“What was what? Calum and I dancing?”

“Why was Calum grinding on you?” I honestly don’t see why the fuck he cares. Most days he wouldn’t even give me a second glance and now he decides to pay attention me?

“Why does it matter to you?”

“It doesn’t”

“Oh please, don’t give me that bullshit. You obviously care for some reason but if you’re not going to tell me then just leave. I believe you have an army of girls who are waiting to see which one of them you’re going to take home so why don’t you go deal with that and leave me alone Hemmings.”

“Maybe I don’t want to take any of those girls home. Maybe I want to take you home.”

“You piece of shi-wait what?” My jaw drops. Is he that wasted or did he hit his head or something, he can’t be serious.

“Maybe I keep hooking up with random girls because I want to make you jealous. Maybe when I’m fucking these girls I’m thinking of you! Maybe I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long but you for some reason want nothing to do with me!”

“What is wrong with you?”

“What is wrong with me? I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me. You have been driving me crazy in that tiny black dress of yours and seeing you grind on Calum made me lose it! You are my problem.” He brings his body closer to me, leaving virtually no space between our bodies. I could feel his hot breath against my face and the smell of his cologne was intoxicating.

“Maybe I have been imagining how pretty you would look underneath me since the day I met you?” He growls in my ear, his voice low and deep.

“I’m not in the mood to be a hook up. Talk to me when you’re sober Hemmings.”

I manage to pull my body away from his, my brain telling me to do one thing while the throbbing heat between my legs was telling me to fuck him in the nearest washroom.

 "You okay, Y/N?“ Ashton asks, taking in my flushed face.

"Can we leave?” My voice was barely above a squeak; Luke had made the air escape from my lungs.

“Sure, let me just go grab Luke.” Ashton says. I was kinda hoping they would leave him here but I guess that isn’t going to happen. He returns with Luke and Michael and the five of us make the trek towards Ashton’s beaten up Toyota.

We walk in silence and just to my luck; Luke decides to sit beside me. The car ride was awkward. No one was talking and the car was hot and stuffy. Luke was basically oozing sexual tension, making me feel hot. Our knees were pressed against each other and I could feel his hand graze my thigh multiple times. I had to squeeze my thighs together several times to repress my urges.

I could tell from the look on the boys faces that they knew something was up; they kept sharing glances and Calum had a rather smug look on his face. I refused to admit that there was anything between Luke and me. He wasn’t wrong when he said I wanted nothing to do with him. 

If I thought the car ride was awkward the elevator ride was even worse. The sexual tension was rather evident and I’m pretty sure even the wailing baby could tell something was up. I took in a deep breath and try to block out everything. I will not give in to my sexual urges. Even though I wanted to stab Luke with a fork, I couldn’t deny the fact that he was hot and sex with Luke would be even hotter. I may or may not have fantasied about him once or twice but it meant nothing. 

The elevator finally reaches our floor and I practically race out of the doors, desperate to get away from Luke. I fumble with the room key and almost it drop it to the floor before finally getting my door open. 

“Do you mind if Luke stays with you tonight Y/N? We spilled something on one of the beds and we only have one couch.” Calum asks, popping into my room.

“Why can’t one of you stay here instead?”

“Michael has his heart set on the couch and Ash and I want to stay together.”

“Ugh fine. But I can’t promise peace.”

“Just try to be nice.”

“Don’t count on it.”

Calum leaves and I could hear him whispering to Ashton about something. I decide to not wait for Luke to come before preparing for bed. I do my usual bedtime routine and change into my regular sleeping shirt. I normally sleep in a shirt and panties, but I guess if Luke is staying with me I can’t just walk around in my underwear.

I exit the bathroom and pull out my suitcase, looking for a pair of shorts. 

“I could get used to this.” Luke smirks, leaning on the doorway as he eyes me up and down.

“You can stay like that babe, shorts are a waste.” He tosses his bag carelessly on the floor and walks towards me.

“In your dreams Hemmings.”

“Oh believe me; you will most definitely be in my dreams tonight.” He winks.

“You’re an ass.”

“I like your ass.” He says, gently cupping my bum with his large hands. I swat his hands away.

“How about you just go to your side of the room and don’t talk to me? We can live peacefully in silence.”

“Silly Y/N. You can’t be silent when you’re screaming my name.”

“Who says I will be screaming your name?”

“If I get my fingers in you you’ll be fucking moaning it baby.”

“Even if you did get to fuck me, which you won’t, what makes you think I’ll be screaming your name?”

He simply smirks at me. “I’ll take that as a challenge.”

Ah, here it starts. I had heard about this happening over in Ireland, but I thought maybe it was an exaggeration. Nope.

“Excited for St. Paddy’s day!?” 
“You’re going to get absolutely drunk with us, right?”
“I bet you nearly drowned in green beer back home, eh?” 
“Oh my family is 1/16th Irish so we celebrate every year!”

 It’s a little amusing, actually.

I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THE GOOD NEWS!

how did i forget to tell you?! aaaah. so, remember the women in beer event i planned with women on staff at the beer bar we work at? & we collaborated with breweries to brew beers for the event? an annual thing we’ve done twice so far after past beer bars were like ‘eh…i don’t think there’d be enough interest’? well, we have been invited from several other breweries to collaborate! not even as part of the event, like, we built up some serious cred in the beer scene that some brewer friends just want to brew with us because.

we are brewing at Captain Lawrence in two weeks on their 7 barrel pilot system (14 half barrels). We’re making an american pale ale with citra, amarillo & mosaic, & aging some in a red wine barrel with brettanomyces.  Then so with Steady Habit & Outer Light, with more to come…

it is fucking exciting as hell.

Stop thinkin, Cowboy!

Pairing: Dean x reader
Anon request: Can you do a deanxreader one where she’s like a hardcore Texas country girl and he tries to get into country music and rodeos cause he knows she’s into that?
Words: 2449
Warning: Ehm… second-hand embarrassment? just a bit…

This request is really old and I am so sorry that it took me so long but I never came around to do it… I know like absolutely nothing about the “country style” and whatsoever so I’m really sorry if I mess anything up. I hope you like it though! <3 (I googled some country sayings… do you really say that stuff?!)
I’m sorry I totally forgot about the country music and coudln’t really fit it in afterwards…


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