total up all the time you’ve spent in diners and on busses and decide if you’ve wasted it.
do it all now because at no other point in your dysfunctional attempt at adulthood will any of this be okay — passed out, face down, empty beer cans wearing party hats to decorate the coffee table. people keep asking, is it anyone’s birthday? it was. three weeks ago. we never cleaned up. at no other point will i be able to show up to an engagement party with evidence of the rest of the week all over my neck. and they will ask, was he cute? how long have you known him?
and with no consequences i can respond,
does it matter?
do it all now. spend all your money on coffee and liquor and do things for no reason other than that you can. this: this right here, is your prime.
you will tell everyone in a state that you don’t live anymore that you are a wreck, and they will congratulate you.