beer addicts

My book and booze pairing of the week for you, approved by my furry companion Demyx 😸. Outlander is a fantastic historical fiction series about a woman who time travels back to 18th century Scotland. If you’re wondering why my copy of Outlander is so beat up, well it’s because I’ve lent it out to at least three people. 😅 I absolutely love the Outlander series, especially the first three books! I also think the first three make a great stopping point and are great on their own, which may appeal to some of you who are afraid to try these behemoths. Though I didn’t enjoy books four and five as much, I did just recently buy the 6th and plan on immersing myself in Gabaldon’s world again soon!

Hello!

I’ve been MIA for the last few months because I’m in recovery for addiction (specifically alcohol!) I’m 79 days sober today.

I was drinking beer almost every night for about three years. I think I drank beer because it made me feel like less of an alcoholic, like “Oh, it’s just beer. You’re not drinking the hard stuff. You’re fine.” I gained about 30 lb and was severely depressed and suffered from anxiety attacks. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything unless there would be alcohol there.

Since I’ve quit, I’ve discovered a few things. First, my anxiety is almost completely gone. So I guess that was alcohol induced. Second, the depression is still there! And that’s something I’ve been struggling with these past few months that I’ve been basically missing from Tumblr.

To anyone who placed an order in my shop– I’m so sorry this is happening right now and I’m working on orders today, hoping to get every single order out by the end of this week. If you didn’t receive a tracking number, you should receive one in your e-mail by Sunday. I’m adding in so many extras for you. Doesn’t make up for me being shitty and flaky, but hopefully they will bring you some joy.

Here’s my before and after so far. I lost 17 lb. and then gained 1 lb. back because of election stress. #fuckdonaldtrump

Ashes

Requested: Not exactly,,

Summary: Mike is in love with a smoker, who is also Richie Tozier’s older sister.

Pairing: Mike Hanlon x Reader

A/N: My boy is gettin’ another fic because Chosen is my love.

—-

Mike watched from across the street as you slipped out of the general store doors with a tiny maroon package tucked between your fingers. You kept your gaze directed at the ground while you stopped at the brick wall of the store, leaning back on it with a huff. You looked down at the cigarettes in your hand and flicked open the top with your thumb. As you pulled one of the crinkling cancer-in-a-sticks out of the box, you felt eyes on you and looked up at the mesmerized boy across the street. 

His eyes widened while he cleared his throat and averted his eyes down to his bike’s basket, which was filled to the brim with wrapped up meat bags. You smiled softly as he glanced at you, his cheeks brighten at the sight of your smile. You watch him blink rapidly while you wink and place the cigarette between your teeth. 

Your eyes met his in an embarrassed but brave stare. His mind seemed to go blank at the sight of you. You were the one person he always wanted to see on his chore days. He set a calendar in his mind, one that reminded him what times you got your weekly cig boxes and what days you’d be near the Local Library. He’d make sure to be on time to when you’d be near the general store since a deli he delivers to is right across the street.

Mike’s lips opened a crack and he whispered to himself once you scrunched your nose and looked back down at your cigarette, sliding a lighter from the front pocket of your overalls while flickering the flame and lighting your cigarette. He was left breathless by your ability to maintain such beauty while destroying the inside, but he was always concerned. 

What started your addiction to the bitter smoke?  What drew you to the harms of Kings cigarettes at the young age of fourteen? His main guess was your younger brother, Richie Tozier. He wasn’t very open with you and almost blamed you for any bad happenings. You never took it badly in his eyes, but inside, it hurt that your brother thought everything was your fault. The fact that you were one of the soul causes of your mother’s alcoholism was something that stuck with the boy ever since the one day he was almost beaten by her.

After her addiction of beer and endless amounts of wine coolers, you chose drugs over alcohol. Richie then started to be somewhat concerned for you. He thought that maybe he’d lose you, too. But he never seemed to confront you about it. 

So here you were, the young drug addict you are today has been caused by family drama and an unfortunate event at a gas station where it all started. Mike was always fascinated by your mysterious patterns of smoking. You rarely were at home and only came back at 11pm while leaving at 6am. You were absent in Richie’s mindless ramblings, which meant he either didn’t know where you were or didn’t care. He knew that Richie cared since he had once asked Eddie for information on what drugs can do, so the first option was most likely. 

“Woah,” His breath shifted once he saw you let out a puff of ashy smoke into the air, creating a cloud of darkness above your head. Mike watched as you pushed yourself off the wall and turned to your right while starting to walk off. He sighed and took a few steps forward with his bike before setting it down. The chores he had to do still wasn’t done, but you kept his mind busy. 

Before he could hop onto his bike, a shadow leaned over him and he almost jumped. His eyes darted over to the figure that stood before him. It was an almost reluctant look, Mike feared it was Henry Bowers again, or worse, his gang. But he was relieved once he saw the person, then he’d tensed at his realization of who it was.

You.

“You were staring at me,” You spoke calmly with the cigarette knitted tightly between your pointer and middle finger. A trail of smoke rose from the burning cigarette, but he was more focused on you. Because you were in front of him. His crush, if you could even call it that, was in front of him. 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” God, he wished he didn’t sound so nervous. Being an outsider of Derry was already bad enough, but being noticeably nervous? That’s where anyone would draw the line. Anyone. 

“Well,” You pursed your lips into a soft smile while tapping the side of your now shorter cigarette, ashes dropping to the ground and onto your filthy white, worn-out converse. “I just thought I’d say hi. I’m (Y/N).” He’d never expected you to be this calm with someone like him. He was a stranger, a loser. Why would you feel comfortable talking to him?

“Oh, yeah..,” His chest tightened and he could feel his cheeks heat up. Thankfully, the sun was going down by now and you were shaded by the large building beside you. He was thankful for night time, for once. “I’m Mike,” He held his hand out and immediately regretted it at the sight of you staring down at his outstretched hand. 

Mike was about to retract his hand before you took his hand and firmly shook it. The weight was lifted off his chest during that one act. He felt more comfortable, calmer now. The giddiness of your presence still made him a bit more on edge, but he could speak better knowing that you were okay with him.

“Righteous,” You grinned and took a hit from your cigarette. He watched and gulped while blinking rapidly. Smoke spilled out from your nose and the corners of your lips. Mike watched as you held the cigarette out to him, “Want a hit?”

“Um,” He paused. He did want to seem interesting and more relatable, but would he really sacrifice his body for you? Of course, in a death way, yes. But never in the sense of being a druggie. He would never, for no one. “No thanks.”

You nodded along with a smile, “That’s cool. I get why you wouldn’t.” He held his breath and got ready for an insult before you let the cigarette fall limply off your fingertips and onto the ground. You put your foot forward and stomped it out with a smile, “Smoking’s not that good of a thing, I know.” 

He felt his heart almost melt at that action. You put out a cigarette, an addiction, for him. The love of his life has gotten rid of something, for him. You smiled brightly and he could see the genuine happiness through your eyes. The shine of your eyes was something he could tell was real. 

“I gotta get going,” That joyful moment was cut short by the sudden realization of you. “Richie has a presentation today and I gotta drop it off.” He inwardly yelled at himself for taking up your time, but he knew that this was one of his only chances to talk to you. It was worth it, in a way. He nodded and you excused yourself while untying your sweater off your waist and placing it over your shoulders.

As you turned to walk off, Mike had a sudden rush of adrenaline. This could be the last time he ever talked to you. He had to do something, anything, to ensure that he’d talk to you again. 

“Wait!” 

His voice caught your attention and you faced the boy, listening intently to what his next words were. He seemed nervous at the sudden attention, but he still responded. 

“Will you be at the library tomorrow?” Mike hesitated on asking once he saw your confused face. He’d just told you that he knew when you went to the library, he was kind of your stalker. You gave a smile and your shoulders bounced while you made a chuckle.

“Yeah. I’ll see you there, then,” You made a thumbs up and grinned brightly, something that has been hard for you since forever. He smiled back and watched you turn on your heels, “Later days, kid.”

You left the boy almost speechless, his heart rate rising at the fact that he’d just talked to you. You’d just confirmed a date. Or was it a date? To the daydreaming twelve-year-old, it was definitely a date.