Could you explain why shipping Nico with girls is homophobic? I'm not actually a part of the LGBT community, but I would genuinely, sincerely like to hear from a queer person's experience/perspective as to why it is considered offensive. I realise the LGBT community barely gets any representation- is this the reason why? I know you probably already got a lot of messages regarding this, so I totally understand if you choose to ignore it, but an explanation would be really helpful :3
When it comes to minority representation there are certain boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. You don’t draw a black character as white, you don’t write a character that has a physical disability as able-bodied (if any of this language is ableist please let me know), and you don’t hc a canon gay character as bi or straight.
One thing straight people seem to have a hard time understanding is that it’s so drastically different to hc a straight character as not-straight than to hc a gay character as being attracted to the opposite/different sex. Being gay (or bi) is a part of us intrinsically. It literally shapes who we are as people, how we perceive the world around us and how we interact with it. It molds our experience in a way a straight cis person could never understand. You simply can’t extract the gay from a character and have them be the same, especially with Nico bc his sexuality was explicitly shown to be a pivotal part of his character arc and a great source of distress for him. Taking that away leaves you with a hollow shell of what his character should be.
“Well then what if he’s bi” people shout “we don’t know he doesn’t like girls”
It’s so very common to hear this, honestly. People demand so much more proof to believe a character is gay. It’s not good enough that a character only shows interest in the same sex, uses language that implies they don’t have any interest in the opposite sex, and have a story arc that revolves around accepting themselves and dealing with internalized homophobia. Gay characters can’t just be gay. No, they have to scream it from rooftops and repeat it until their throat is soar and their mouth dry.
I’m getting off topic.
“If straight characters can be put in gay ships then why can’t gay characters be put in straight ships”
I once saw an analogy that went vaguely like this:
Imagine you have a pantry full of candy. In fact, it’s practically bursting at the seams, candy is pushing at the door trying to make room for more. And I have a bowl. One bowl of candy. And while your pantry of candy overflows, I pick up a few pieces from the floor and put them in my bowl. You still have a pantry, and I still only have a bowl. But then you take a handful out of my bowl and say it’s only fair, you took some of mine, after all. You don’t notice the candy I took from your pantry because it’s innumerable. But I’m forced to notice the candy you took from my bowl because it was so small to begin with.
It really isn’t a perfect analogy by any means, but maybe it’ll grant some perspective on the fact that straight people are swimming in an ocean of representation but I dip one toe into it and now they demand to swim in my pond.
I’m actually too tired to continue. I’ve been typing this out for awhile, just trying to think of how to explain myself and now it’s 1am and I’m afraid I’m fried but this has been sitting in my inbox for a bit and I want to get it answered. If anyone in the lgbt community would like to elaborate further, please do.