been all up in my feels since last night

Songs that never fail to make white people beyond turnt
  •  Don’t Stop Believing 
  • Bohemian Rhapsody 
  • Living On A Prayer 
  • Come On Eileen 
  • Sweet Caroline 
  • Shot Through the Heart 
  • Pour Some Sugar on Me 
  • Sweet Home Alabama 
  • Under Pressure 
  • Shook Me All Night Long 
  • Ice Ice Baby 
  • Cotton Eyed Joe
  • 500 Miles
  • Wonderwall 
  • Buddy Holly 
  • A Thousand Miles 
  • Teenage Dirtbag 
  • Red Solo Cup 
  • Mr Brightside 
  • Never Gonna Give You Up 
  • Eye of the Tiger 
  • Chicken Fried 
  • American Pie 
  • I Love Rock and Roll 
  • Dancing Queen 
  • Don’t You Want Me
  • We Will Rock You 
  • The Time Warp 
  • Hey Jude 
  • Piano Man
  • This Is How We Do It
  • Drops of Jupiter 
  • Hey Soul Sister
  • In The End 
  • All The Small Things 
  • Stacy’s Mom 
  • Kryptonite 
  • All Star 
  • You Found Me
  • Bad Day 
  • Bring Me To Life 
  • Dance, Dance
  • Sugar We’re Going Down 
  • I Write Sins Not Tragedies 
  • All The Small Things 
  • Ocean Avenue 
  • Dirty Little Secret 
  • Margaritaville 
  • Sk8er Boi
  • Brown Eyed Girl 
  • Life Is A Highway 
  • Some Nights 
  • Little Lion Man 
  • Breakeven
  • Hey There Delilah 
  • Viva La Vida
  • Use Somebody 
  • Carry On My Wayward Son 
  • Take On Me
  • 1985 
  • Iris 
  • I’m Awesome 
  • Seven Nation Army 
  • September 
  • Since U Been Gone
  • Skinny Love 
  • Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)
  • Bye Bye Bye 
  • Say It Ain’t So 
  • Somewhere Only We Know 
  • I’m Yours 
  • Last Resort 
  • My Girl 
  • Tiny Dancer 
  • Roxanne
  • Shout 
  • I’m a Believer 
  • Soul Man
  • Feel Good Inc 
  • Check Yes Juliet
  • Walking On Sunshine 
  • MMM Bop
  • Pumped up Kicks 
  • Hooked On A Feeling 
  • It’s A Beautiful Day
  • Summer Girls 
  • Before He Cheats 
  • Happy Together
  • You Make My Dreams Come True
  • Build Me Up Buttercup
  • Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
  • DONTTRUSTME
  • Shake It (Metro Station)
  • Juke Box Hero
  • Girls Just Want To Have Fun

The One That Got Away

by reddit user bookshelfghost

Lily Harrison and I met at a graduation party when we were eighteen. As soon as I walked into the house, her bubbling laughter caught my attention. I couldn’t help but grin because it was so contagious, and she’d noticed. Already a couple drinks in, she pointed right at me and shouted, “Hey. You’re cute. Come be my partner.” 

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2

July 20 2017

I’ve been really busy doing all sorts of other things lately. I finally finished up my room at home and it’s exactly the way I like it and now I don’t ever want to go back to the dorms :( 9 weeks until we move back in though

Last night I told study buddy the entire story of the sexual harassment I went through during winter quarter (unfortunately) and it’s the first time I’ve reallllly looked back upon it in detail since it happened. I think I had a bad dream last night because I feel uneasy when trying to remember, but I can’t recall it. This kind of stuff sux and I really do not wish it upon anybody.

Random thought sometimes I wish I had a gold iPad and iPhone instead of the black ones I have lul

redrew the first vimes i ever posted back in 2015 for the 25th of may

it’s been two years now since i started reading discworld and not a day goes by that i don’t think about some part of it. it’s been so influential to making me the person i am today. jingo and night watch, in particular, are so eerily accurate to my feelings in the months since last november. we’ve all lost a lot, i think, in the way of faith in other people, in being able to trust that others will know that people should be treated like people, even if they come from a different place or do things differently.

pratchett’s writing provides not an escape from but a guide to the difficult times ahead. he lays out how things work, and just how fucked up they are, and then looks you in the eye and asks what you’re going to do about it. 

thanks for reading. we are here, and this is now.

Unexpected (Part 7)

Yoongi starts to make amends with everyone and tries to get his life back to the way it was before the breakup.

Warning: Sex stuff, ridiculous amounts of dirty talk, I don’t even know why I bother warning people – if you read my writing, 99% chance of utter filth will be incorporated in the plot.

Parts: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8 (final)  8.5 (bonus)

It was late when Yoongi finally left your apartment to head home.  You had asked him to spend the night again, but he declined saying that he had to go back and try to make things right with the other guys after messing up practice yesterday and blowing it off completely today.  You understood, but still had difficulty letting go of him as he tried to exit and begged him not to change his mind. Yoongi kissed you and promised that he was sincere and wouldn’t be easily swayed again.

He was nervous as he stood outside the door to his apartment, thinking about what he would say to the others when he went in.  If Yoongi could have his way, he would have liked to just pretend that he hadn’t been a miserable asshole to everyone in his life for the past few weeks and let things go back to normal on their own.  That might have been an option if he hadn’t had that fight with Tae and disappeared for a full day, but now he would be forced to actually make amends.

Yoongi took a deep breath, exhaled, and opened the door; everyone was sitting around the table together eating some chicken they had ordered in.  Jungkook noticed Yoongi walk in first, calling out to him, “Hyung, you’re back!  What happened to you?  I was getting worried.”

Before Yoongi could answer, Jimin jumped up from the table and motioned for Yoongi to come sit next to him. “Hyung, are you hungry?  Come have something to eat.”

Yoongi walked towards the table while Jimin made some room for him.  All eyes were on him, except for Taehyung who kept his eyes on the food sitting in front of him, absentmindedly picking the meat off the bone with his chopsticks.  Tae’s bangs obscured his eyes, but Yoongi could still see the bruises, his face was partly swollen and a scab had formed on his lower lip from where the skin had been torn.

Namjoon turned to Yoongi and spoke, “So, have you been at your ex’s place this whole time?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi replied sheepishly. “I got blind drunk and passed out in front of her place last night so she took me in.  After I woke up, we talked and worked things out.”

Jin looked sternly at Yoongi and asked, “Are you saying the two of you are back together?”

“Yes,” Yoongi answered, “we are officially back together.”  

Tae slammed his chopsticks down and got up from the table, mumbling that he had lost his appetite and was going to his room.  Yoongi felt pangs of guilt as he watched Tae walk down the hall.

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Magnus & Alec: Lunchdate Woes

rosegoldgemini replied to your post “its been so long since i sat down and wrote fanfiction but im itching…”

Here’s a prompt, where Magnus comes to see Alec at the institute and before you know it their all wrapped up with each other, being all cute, affectionate & lovey dovey not realizing everyone is watching them & Jace and izzy are so happy to see how much Alec has come out of his shell & being happy & in love he is.

summary: Magnus decides to surprise Alec at the institute for an impromptu lunch date as Alec is preparing to leave for a mission. Never fear, as Magnus says. It’ll all work out.

pairings: magnus bane/alec lightwood, jace/alec/izzy/clary (friendship)

rating: general audiences (with a teeny little PG-13)

words: 1,143

link to fanfiction.net

Alec rounded the corner of the hallway and made his way up the steps to the weapons wall. He grabbed his bow and quiver and with one swift movement they sat snug against his shoulder. He felt around inside the satin lining of his jacket pocket for his stele to ensure it was still where it always was. The satin reminded Alec of the soft feel of Magnus’ sheets. The thought sent a shiver throughout his entire body. 

The jacket was a gift from Magnus, of course. The leather exterior was soft, but durable for Alec’s missions. It came equipped with several large pockets within the interior lining to conceal smaller weapons if necessary. Magnus claimed it was off the rack, but Alec knew better. Magnus clearly had this made just for him, not that Alec minded. 

“You thought you were leaving without me?” Jace said, approaching the weapons wall. It surprised Alec, and broke his focus from his thoughts about Magnus, satin sheets, how warm the fabric can get when…

“Hello?” Jace interrupted again.

Alec turned around with a smile. “You don’t check your phone?” Alec said. Jace looked clueless.

“I texted you an hour ago.” Alec’s smile faded and turned into slight annoyance. “There’s a mission. There’s been an attack outside of Brooklyn. Luke said one of his pack members was beaten and stabbed last night, but it was too dark to tell who or what it was.” He explained. 

“You don’t think this was a demon attack, do you?” Jace said, reading Alec’s face. He could tell Alec thought this was something more.

“It’s too soon to say. If it isn’t, things are bound to become significantly more complicated for the Clave to discuss.” Alec responded. He tightened the strap on his quiver again. 

“Clary and I have been waiting outside for you two for twenty minutes. And you complain that we take too long…” Isabelle rolled her eyes as she approached them. She stood and crossed her arms eyeing Jace and Alec to hurry.

“Not my fault. Jace doesn’t know how to check his phone, apparently.” Alec said, shooting at look at Jace. Jace shrugged innocently. 

“I came at a bad time didn’t I…?” Magnus peered around the corner of the entryway. His eyes stopped when he got to Alec. 

Alec looked guilty. At first he thought he’d forgotten plans as he’d done before when getting swept up with work, but he realized Magnus was here to surprise him. Magnus, complete with a maroon velvet overcoat and a gunmetal brocade vest, attempted to hide his disappointment, but it was present enough for Alec to catch it. Alec met him at the entry way with a kiss.

“I was just getting ready to call you to let you know I was going to be out of the institute for awhile. I didn’t want you to worry.” Alec said, brushing Magnus’ hand. His eyes met Magnus’. “There was a werewolf attacked outside of Brooklyn last night that we were leaving to investigate.”

“Alexander, as much as I wish you’d stay to have lunch with me, I am happy to see you regardless.” Magnus wrapped his hand slightly around the small of Alec’s back as he leaned in for a deeper kiss this time. Alec pulled back and looked at Magnus.

Jace and Isabelle looked away from the two of them, embarrassed. The moment between Magnus and Alec was private. Jace and Isabelle let out a nervous laugh as their eyes met each other and smiled back at Magnus and Alec. This was definitely something they hadn’t been used to seeing. Alec being himself.

Alec’s voice got low and soft, “I know. I’m sorry. You know I wish I could.” He looked down at Magnus’ hands intertwined with his. They were warm and they made him feel safe. He felt guilty for spending so much time at the institute lately. Though Magnus never made him feel guilty for doing his job, Alec hated the time away from him.

“I won’t keep you. I know it’s business as usual for my Shadowhunter.” Magnus smiled, and leaned in for a kiss goodbye. Instead of pulling back, Alec leaned in further to Magnus. It felt like it’d been days since he felt the warmth of Magnus near him. The long hours at the institute meant Alec coming home late, or sometimes not at all as he found himself waking up at his desk several nights the last few weeks. Alec’s hand found its way to the back of Magnus’ neck and pulled him in closer. 

“Should we still be here?” Isabelle whispered to Jace. The moment felt wrong to continue being present for. It was as if Magnus and Alec forgot people were still around. Or they just didn’t care. Either way, Isabelle felt undeniably happy for them. “I feel like they need a moment…” She laughed, still standing with her arms crossed. She was practically beaming with pride as she began to walk down towards the entrance of the institute. She had never seen him so happy before. Not even when he found out he was the head of the institute did it make him as happy as Magnus did.

“Good idea.” Jace said as he followed silently behind Isabelle.

Magnus pulled back first. His forehead rested lightly against his boyfriend’s as he tried to catch his breath. His glamour had faded and his eyes were glowing. Alec couldn’t even think.  He was in disbelief that Magnus could be anymore beautiful than he already was. 


“Finally!” Clary said as she saw Magnus and Alec round the corner to meet them outside the institute. Jace poked her in the side. “What!” she whispered and threw her arms up. Jace smiled, “They were having a… uhm… moment.” Jace said quietly. Clary’s fair skin turned light pink as she realized.

Magnus stopped as he leaned in to whisper something in Alec’s ear before breaking away. Alec’s skin deepened with a shade of red that insinuated the comment could have only been something sexual. Alec looked down and smiled. “I’ll see you for dinner, Alexander. And don’t forget to bring an appetite.” Magnus smiled devilishly as he leaned in softly kissing Alec. He disappeared in an instant.

Alec’s eyes grew wide as he looked at Clary, Jace, and Izzy hoping they wouldn’t understand the innuendo. They did. They all looked at one another giggling. As Alec met them, Jace threw an arm around his shoulder. 

“We better make sure you get back in time for dinner, then.” He said as his head fell back with laughter. Alec laughed too. 

“We better be.” Alec said, seriously. 

My body def needs this after this thanksgiving! I’ve been between vegan, vegetarian and omnivore for a while now, but I’ve been pretty solid vegetarian since march. I had meat about twice in the past week, and it made me feel SOOOO GROSS. I felt sick trying to go to bed last night, and just felt overall gross. The best I’ve ever felt was when I was vegan for about two weeks. My skin was glowing, my digestive system was flawless, and I was happy, energetic, and felt so good. For my glo up, I’m going to try going vegan again for all of those reasons. In my opinion, plant based is the best option, and even if you don’t want to go vegan, eating a lot of veggies and fruits will make your skin glow!
Therefore, since I have felt so gross, I am going to do a three day detox! It says lean protium as your final meal, but I might just eat lentils or beans!

concept: this summer i am going to float on sun rays and not carry the weight of the world on top of my shoulders. i will lift up all of my worries and breathe. oh god it’s been ages since i was last able to breathe properly. i will make plans with myself. i’ll go to coffee shops and museums and festivals. i will find peace in my solitude and when i feel like that’s impossible i’ll count the stars at night. someone across the country might be counting them too. i am no longer staying in the dark and i will let my skin get sun kissed. this summer will be filled with ethereal joy.

No strangers on the Golden Eagle (Snowbaz)

AU where Simon and Baz do not get together in their years at Watford. Simon stayed together with Agatha. However fate leads to the oddest of places in the world for soulmates to reunite.

Simon

Everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong.

I looked up at the ceiling of my compartment and enjoyed the silence. It has been so long since I have got a chance to sit somewhere no one is talking to me. No one is staring at me and demanding me to answer.
I have been trying so hard but I just ended up failing. Images fall in front of me. Failing to take down the Humdrum again and again. Agatha kicking me out of her place. She told that we were either going to get married or fall apart, she said that she had to make the better decision for both of us. I think I must have become sort of twisted in my own sense and that I completely agree with her. I didn’t argue, I just silently agree with her. I left without saying anything to her. There was nothing I needed to say and everything I wanted to say would have only upset her further. If she was the one leaving, I wouldn’t chase after her.

I have no plan so here I am. I am 24 with less than a plan for life. I searched where to get away from it all and my search has lead me to the longest train railway. It is called the trans-Siberian railway. It cuts through all of Russia. It takes 9 days to travel it all but I will be going for 15 days as I will be stopping in some of the more memorable places. The most promising thing for me was the promise of spending days with little outside your window that trees and rivers. Maybe I will find out what to do next somewhere there. If not, I have a cool experience behind me.

Baz

I have been called dramatic a couple of times in my life. Even overly dramatic sometimes. I have no idea where such grand conclusions have been drawn out. All I am planning to do is kill myself at the east of Russia, where no one will find me and if they do, no one will identify me and let my family know.

Lost. That is how my family think of me and I like that. But I cannot go out simply, I took the Golden Eagle’s Imperial compartment. The most luxurious train around. Why not drink myself to insanity in the privacy of a nice room and a private toilet to throw up in. I carefully organized for no traces that I am taking this trip is found.

I sit on my bed in my compartment and trouble myself with a simple question enough as should I take off my suit before drinking or not bother. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door. It was a lady with a dining cart, offering tea, coffee, and other warm drinks. I have been learning Russian for a while so I do not have trouble talking to her. She turned out painfully chatty and I couldn’t get rid of her with a simple ‘no’.

At that moment a young man exits the compartment next to mine and the world stops.
I could recognize him from just his hair. That bronze mess of hair atop of his head. I could spot a mole on the back of his neck. I would have been able to tell even if I hadn’t spotted him. His scent fills the wagon.

It has been so long but it is really him. Now. A few steps away from me.

Simon Snow.

Simon

I leave my compartment to go to the dining cart. I am extremely hungry and just want to have a proper meal. Or get drunk because just the thought of falling asleep right now feels like a chore. A lady pushed me with a cart full of drinks and I keep walking forward.

I had planned to zone out complete and just forget myself. Yet in the instant when I felt like the world will just spin apart from me, I am grounded by the most familiar voice ever. “Well look who it is… if it isn’t the Chosen One.” I stopped stupidly in my tracks. I turned around to make sure I didn’t hallucinate. I did not need to turn around to know that the voice belonged to the one and only, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm Pitch. And in a fucking suit to top it all off.

I feel the same rush that I usually used to get when I would see him back in school. A mix of frustration and nervous butterflies in my stomach. He always had that effect on people. “Baz,” I say lamely. I am oddly happy to see him. Maybe it has been all the years we were apart and seeing him brings back good memories of Watford.

“Of all the people in the entire world I have expected to have been caught by here, you were the absolute last person I could have expected.” The way he phrased it caught me off guard. I can’t catch Agatha’s clear hints when she coughs and clears her throat but I cannot ignore a single word he says even years after.
“Caught by?” I ask him. “Are you on the run from somebody?” He grins and walks over to me. With him up closer, I realize he sort of smells the same way, it reminds me of our old room. “Oh Snow. Never changing, I see. Still assuming that I am plotting and up to no good?” He presents me with that malicious smirk of his. I can’t help but smile. It has been a while since I did and Baz was the last person who would have tried to make me smile, but he did. “Well, are you up to good?” I ask.

He laughs. I have heard him laugh many times but this felt much more kind hearted. I feel so much less empty than I did before but the butterflies are still there. It was frustrating that six years have passed and he is still significantly taller than me. “You’ve fucking caught me, Snow. Indeed I am up to no good. I plan to ruin my liver tonight by getting savagely drunk.”

Baz

I felt lost and found at the same time. All it took was to have him look at me and here I am. Putty in his hands. “You are planning to get drunk tonight?” He asks me. God. I’ve missed his voice. I have been obsessed with hs voice ever since it changed at the age of 13. I always loved his accent. He would rarely speak when we were young but he still had a unique accent. It was a mix of proper received pronunciation and Cockney, that he got from growing up around East London. “Absolutely. I have packed enough for 15 days so I hope to get through it all in one night.” I feel like actually chugging the 30 bottles of alcohol I have in one night after this encounter.

“Do you need help?”

I drank blood just a few hours prior so I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks. “You want to join me?”
“I would love to.”
I cannot help but laugh again. It has been forever since I last laughed and he already made me laugh more than I did the whole year. “Since when did you get so snappy?”
“Since I cannot stand being sober. I was going to the dining cart to help myself to a bottle of vodka.”
“Well, luckily for you, that is most of what I have. That and cranberry juice. You will fucking owe me, Snow.”
“Bring it.”

I don’t know what the fuck happened but I have never expected this to happen of all things that could have. I got glasses and we started drinking. After we had finished the cranberry juice, we started mixing the vodka with coke. We would laugh about random things that happened back in school. Oh all the stupid memories, it seemed too stupid for us, despite how drunk we were getting.

It was when we started to get low on coke did I start thinking about kissing him. I could completely blame it on the alcohol tomorrow morning when we are two hung over pieces of road kill that rolled from the bed onto the floor. We gave up on the glasses and would sip both from both bottles, a teasing indirect kiss that drove me insane. I kept on looking at his lips when he would look down, which he would do quite a lot when he got drunk. Very soon, he finished the coke and threw aside the plastic bottle. The was a few mouth fulls in the other bottle.

He wanted to say something but just hiccuped and we laughed.
“You are going to hate me so much when we wake up tomorrow,” I tell him. I really want to kiss him right now. I am considering opening about opening another bottle and drinking it straight. Maybe Snow won’t be so straight at the end of the bottle.
He does not respond to me for a moment. “I won’t.”
“Huh?” I must be too drunk and my brain is going stupid on me. But I just stupidly want to make out with him. No… I shouldn’t. He will honestly hate me in the morning. Maybe I will indulge on the last day here with him. Before ending things. What a way to go. Crossing off what is at the top of your bucket list.

Snow rubs his eyes and finally says “Fuck it.”
He chugs the rest of the vodka and throws the bottle at the garbage can, causing it to fall over. I turn my attention from the bin back to him and he grabs me by my neck and kisses me.

My eyes slowly flutter close as I enjoy what I wanted for so long. The kiss was a mess. Sloppy. Wet. Messy. He tasted bitter of alcohol. He was too rough for my taste. I have been with people who wanted to do right by me and kissed me more carefully and less drunk. Yet here I am, enjoying the best I’ve ever had.
It got deeper and messier. He pulled me closer by my waist and hair. I tangle my fingers in his curls and pull to get a good moan from him. He fought back by biting and sucking on my lower lip. He moved lower to my neck and one would think that he was the vampire with how he just went for it. I wrap my leg around him and he pulls me down on the bed.

And because all sexual fantasies are bollocks, we fall asleep just like that because we were just that drunk.

Simon

In the morning afternoon, I drag myself painfully to the dining cart. Baz was waiting for me at a table for two. He looked more like a vampire now than he ever did. He was dressed in a black turtleneck and black jeans. He was wearing very dark shades to complete the hung over aesthetic. He was drinking his coffee black to create the vampire/dangerous hipster look.

As I sit down, he tells me “I would attempt to kill you where to stand if I wasn’t so bloody hung over.”
“That’s not my fault,” I grumble as I try to pull the hood of my sweatshirt even further over my head to no avail.
“Sure. And I am guessing that you have no hand in doing this either.” He pulls down his turtleneck, revealing way too many bruises around his neck.
“My bad…”
“Could you at least try to sound guilty?”
“No. You liked it too much.”
“Piss off.” I could tell that he didn’t mean it that much anymore because I could see him struggle with the smile in the corner of his mouth.
“I am actually sorry for just… doing that. Without asking for your permission.” I really did feel bad about it but it just felt so fucking right and at the moment I just wanted to kiss him so badly that I just went for it.
He pulls his shades on top of his head and looks at me with his slightly red eyes. “I would have pushed you away if I didn’t want it.” That took me completely by surprise but it made easier what I was about to ask next.
“You told me last night that things have not been going that well for you.” He responds by angrily putting his glasses back on the bridge of his nose so I just go on. “I told you that I have been doing quite poorly as well.”
“You define ‘poorly’ as being kicked out of your ex-girlfriend’s house into the streets and escaping to Moscow? That sounds like a train wreck.”
I cross my hands. Me and my drunk mouth. “I will get my shit together when I get back. But until then…”
“Until then what? Are you going to literally wreck this train?”
“No. How about we just go for it?” I ask as he sips on his coffee, which he chokes on. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“We are going to be here together a little bit over two weeks. So why don’t we enjoy it a little? I mean… it is just… I…” I cannot help but fumble up my words.
“Are you actually asking me if I want to casually hook up with you?”
“I never put it like that I…” He shut me up.
“That is essentially what you are asking me. I’ve never expected such gayness from you.” He folds his hands across his chest.
“I am not gay. I can’t really explain it. Just… neither gender or sex change anything for me in terms of attraction.”
“So do you suddenly find me attractive because of a drunk make out session?”
“Oh, piss off. You know you are attractive. You don’t need me to confirm it to boost your already overgrown ego.”
He blinks at me in pure shock, unable to respond. I realize what came out of my stupid mouth only moments after. I essentially told Baz Pitch that I fancy him. Which is kind of hard to deny from where I am currently sitting.
Baz gets up. “I’ve ordered food for us to my compartment for the both of us. I hadn’t expected you to get up. Let’s go.” He just goes on ahead without looking back at me.

Baz

Fucking Snow. Fucking Snow. You will be the real death of me. My heart is racing so hard, it feels like it will jump out of my chest. I return to the room without closing the door, waiting for Snow to do it. The food was waiting for us. I lie back down on the bed in exhaustion to ease my killer headache. I feel Snow sit down at the base of the bed and hear him clear his throat.
“What?”
“Is that a yes?” How in the universe can I reject you when you ask something like that. “Yeah. Fine. Whatever. Probably more fun than reading a book.” I respond without opening my eyes. I somehow did not feel Snow move close enough but suddenly he was kissing me again and I just give up. I wanted this so much.

The 2 weeks seem to have swum by quickly and pleasantly. It was honestly the best time I’ve ever had. Snow practically moved into my room and slept in the same bed as me. Oddly enough, it helped me sleep better than anything that I have ever tried before. It had helped that Snow would let me cuddle up on his chest and steal his warmth. At each stop, we would go to different local attraction together. We would try random food and see different things. The train almost once left without us and we had to run like crazy to get there.
It was all very sweet. Having small dinner dates, making out, and snuggling while we sleep.
It wasn’t until the half-way point when we reached the Baikal Lake and we went swimming did things move forward. Simon loves swimming and was super enthusiastic about it. When we swam a little too far away, we started making out and then Simon hugged me from shoulder to waist. I felt so weak to that I would have drowned if he hadn’t been holding me. Eventually, he pulled me under water and we just kissed. It was like something out of a stupid romance novel.
That evening things were a little less innocent. It went from kissing to mutual masturbation to oral sex very quickly. And Simon was not acting innocent about it as he had managed to sneak away from me and buy condoms. I have fallen much deeper in love. It cannot last but I could have really indulged myself before ending this. It is worth living for but I am delusional to think that he would want to stay with me

Simon

We finally arrived at our final destination. Baz had packed up, he told me had an early flight the next day from the airport in Vladivostok. I felt horrible having to leave him. I didn’t want to. It physically hurt me knowing that I wouldn’t see him the next day. That I cannot wake up and kiss him. I was always kind of obsessed with him but this was something else. I needed him so badly that I cannot breathe.

I was going to tell him something but when the train stopped and I woke up, he must have already been at the door with his bag and left right away. It hurt so badly. It felt like nothing like being left by Agatha. I was not okay. I could never chase after him. I couldn’t. I shouldn’t.
But such stupid thoughts were not enough to stop me as I ran out of the train and started searching frantically for him.

I was about to leave the railway terminal until something caught my eye. A gorgeous young man dressed in black, looking back at the train. Baz didn’t realize that I ran out looking for him. Maybe I should have reconsidered that he did not want me. Maybe I should have. But I really didn’t.

I ran up to him, he noticed me a little too late, when I already pounced to jump on him. He is not getting away from me.
“Baz! What the fuck?!” I yell at him. “Did you need to leave just like that?”
“SNOW! You idiot. Did you really need to fucking tackle me?”
“Yes, I did.”
“What are you doing?!”
“Don’t go.”
“What are you talking about? This is over. You don’t need me anymore.”
I was going to yell but the loudness of my words was lost when I saw his eyes and the tears he was trying to hold back. “Why? Why do you think that I don’t need you anymore?” I ask him.
“Why would you?”
“Because I… you… just…”
“Spit it out.” He yells in frustration.
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.” I really need to think before yelling.
He looked as shocked as he was that night I asked him to spend the trip with me. I was waiting for rejection. Complete annoyance and disgust. I am glad to be wrong sometimes.

“I love you too.”

Loose Lips

Requests: “Omg your requests are open! I have a super simple one! Drunk Kylo x Reader or drunk!remus x reader! I love your writing!!”

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: alcohol

A/n: decided to go with Remus because I have heaps of kylo requests already! 

Friday nights were nothing if not eventful. It often began with a knock on your dorm room door, followed by four boys sneaking in with expectant grins. They’d tell you to get ready to go out for a night of drinking, to which you’d reply you were busy studying. They’d hassle you for approximately 20 minutes, whining about how you were always the most fun to be drunk with. It wasn’t until Remus would put his hand on your arm, his bottom lip pouted as he uttered a polite “please”. And that’s when you’d groan, rolling your eyes as you closed whatever book you’d been reading. It always played out like this, every week, the differences in the night only varying from what pub you had been kicked out of. But this Friday night turned out to be a lot more exciting than any that had come before.

Keep reading

Graphic T-Shirt Friday

I stayed up late last night attending the Foo Fighters concert last night and woke up later than usual this morning. So I put on my favorite easy graphic t-shirt. 

Since I stayed up late last night, I did not get up early to do any form of exercise. The only time I have been outside today was to walk from my house to my car and my car to the office. It makes me feel sort of gross. Usually I shrug it off and say, “a little rest never hurt” but since all I’ve been doing for the past few months feels like resting…sigh.

The biggest workout struggle I’m having right now is getting back into the habit. I want to run but the excuses come out so much more easily now than they used to. I also am staying cautious about my toe. It definitely gets sore and sometimes painful depending on what I’m doing.

Naturally, this has all led me down a deep rabbit hole of thinking about spring half marathons, full marathons, or just giving up the running game entirely and doing triathlons exclusively or maybe is running terrible and I really should be getting into crossfit?

This is what happens when you have too much time on your hands: you start thinking.

Luckily, I have two things on my agenda for this weekend that should help me feel less slug-like: I’m doing the Boundary Stone Ride tomorrow (where you ride around to find each of DC’s original boundary stones) and then Sunday morning is runblr Brunch! 

I just need to get back into the groove. It will happen, I know it will. 

baby,
I know I said that last time was the last time
but nothing really ends around here, does it?
we’re in this routine, you and I, and sure it hurts both of us but at least we know when incoming damage is set to arrive: clockwork. like a train schedule, a suckerpunch to the abdomen, an oxford comma. the yo-yo is never a surprise when it returns, twirling, to our suspended palm. we understood the purpose here,
didn’t we?
we knew gravity was still functioning,
didn’t we?

at any rate,
I’m sorry for the blood stains and the crumbs and the hours I’ve spent imitating a small-mouth fish trapped in sun-stroked sand. there’s no other way for me to say SOMETIMES YOU ARE THE ONLY REASON I GET UP IN THE MORNING without also saying THE ONLY THING I EVER LOOK FORWARD TO IS COMING BACK HOME TO THIS.

so, cheers to the thrift store coffee cups filled with boxed wine and the april storm that’s been piling onto the frame since february. this is for not showering when I should because the water racing down the curves of my neck feels too much like being touched. this is for all of the things I’ve lost that I still send party invitations to. for still trying to give my body to the things that don’t want it.

it’s funny to think that even when the poems aren’t meant to be about you, they end up spelling your name out anyways. it’s funny to think that I dreamt about you last night and when I woke up you still weren’t here.

—  an ode to my bed for the nights I come home crying, 21/30, Caitlin Conlon
IT'S A LOVE HATE THING || R.M

I have always adored Reggie Mantle, ever since freshman year when he actually was nice for once. Well right before our junior year we hooked up. At Moose’s party. I don’t know how we ended up together that night. I guess we were really drunk, maybe even too drunk to recognize each other that night. Ever since then we have casually been hooking up. All platonic. Maybe once or twice a week. I’ve hidden my crush from him and after a while we shared the same feelings. We started dating but in secret. Reggie and Archie aren’t exactly best friends either. But as we started dating he became more and more rude to people and especially after he made it on the football team. We broke up before junior year ended. It didn’t exactly last long, but I knew I loved him enough to know it was real. He actually broke up with me, for no reason. Then senior year came around. The last and most memorable year before college. Yeah right. I wish.

“Y/N! I have been looking everywhere for you!” Betty and Kevin came running towards me. “What? What’s wrong?” I said looking a little confused. They both were trying to catch their breath. “somebody spread rumors about you being a slut target! Number one on the target list” Kevin said while still catching his breath. “What? How? WTF?!?” I said surprised but pissed. “How is that possible, I haven’t slept with that many guys! You guys know that right?” I said franticly and they both nodded. “but we still don’t know who you have slept with” Betty said.  “does everybody know?” I asked when suddenly chuck came right behind me and whispered “U need a ride? I’ll be your ride” my eyes just went from earth to mars. I got really angry. I elbowed him in the stomach and he groaned in pain. “stay away from me chuck. You are such a dick!” I screamed at him. “Reggie, told me you were easy! Thought I give it a shot” he said in between groans. “Reggie?” Kevin and Betty whispered and grabbed arms and we walked away from a groaning chuck. As we walked away Cheryl suddenly appeared in front of us “So Y/N, is there anything you want to share?” Cheryl asked with a smirk on her lips. “Stay out it, Cheryl” I spat as I glared at her. When we were outside I broke down crying. Betty saw Veronica and waved for her to come closer. “Y/N, what’s wrong? You have to tell us what happened?” they all sat in a little circle. I sniffled and dried my nose with a tissue paper. “well, where should I start? You guys remember the party at Moose’s before junior year? Yeah. Well Reggie and I kind of hooked up” they all looked surprised “what do mean by ‘kind of’ hooked up?” V asked. “Well, we hooked up at the party. After that we still kind of kept hooking up?” I said more like a question. “and then we kind of started dating around thanksgiving time until like spring-break when he broke up with me. For no reasons I guess.” I said sadly. “Wait what? You guys dated for a few months without us knowing. No wonder you would always disappear when we were at the party and the football team was there!” Kevin exclaimed looking a little confused. “Do you still like him?” V asked. “no, fuck no!” I said too quickly. “but you still love him?” a long pause before I answered. “yes, no I mean no… I don’t know. Maybe.” My eyes started to water. Kevin stroked my back with his hand. “you do” “alright, maybe I do still love him, but he doesn’t know that. I think. I don’t know. Ever since we broke up. He has given me a cold shoulder. He won’t even look at me and if he does, it’s with disgust.” I finished talking. Reggie and I have turned our love to hate. We keep saying rude comments to each other like bitch, manwhore, slut, ass, dick and such. Ever since then we don’t exactly talk at all.

My mind wandered to Reggie and I suddenly got really pissed at him, because he kept telling his friends I’m a slut. I stood up started walking inside. “Y/N! where are you going?!” B asked. They followed behind me walking in the boy’s locker room and I slammed the door open. As I saw Reggie laughing and talking to his teammates, I stomped towards him and slapped him right across his cheek. A silent pause went through the whole locker room. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I screamed at you! “You are such an asshole, Reggie! I can’t believe you did that.” I continued. “what’s wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you, walking in the boy’s locker room slapping me and screaming your head off” Reggie screamed back at my face. I saw the other guys staring and whispering on what’s going on. “Hey Y/N, what’s going on?” Archie suddenly walked towards us with a towel around his waist. “Stay out of it, Archie” he lifted his hands in surrender. “How stupid can you be Reggie? That was really childish of you.” I kept screaming at him. I saw anger and hurt in his eyes. Everything was silent. “at least I’m not a slut and a bitch.” He said and his head suddenly went to the left. I had slapped him again. His right cheek was red. Beet red. I was going to kick and hit him again but Kevin, Veronica, Betty and Archie were holding me tight. We all started yelling at each other. The coach came and yelled, “Y/N and everybody, you’re not allowed in the boy’s locker room! Get out!”, “Reggie, We’re not done!” I pointed at him looking really hurt. It’s the first time we’ve talked or spoke to each other even if we were fighting since the breakup.

Later on we were all sitting in the student lounge. The football team on the other side and me and my friends on the opposite side from them. I keep glaring at the team and I kept getting eye contact with Reggie and every time it hurt, deep down I’m hurting. “Y/N are you free later today? I need a release!” Chuck said, I gasped and turned my head towards him. “What the fuck did you say?” I angrily said back. “oh you heard me!” chuck chuckled as he walked closer. I looked at him in disgust. “you are absolutely disgusting chuck. Get away from me.” I yelled at him. He had already his hands on my waist and one on my butt, slowly lifting my shirt up. Everyone’s attention was towards us. He pulled me even closer, almost carrying me before he was dragged away and I fell down on the floor. Yelling started to appear and I heard Archie, Chuck, Veronica, Betty, Reggie, Moose and Jughead arguing and yelling. I stood up and ran out. The tears broke out.

I sat on the bleachers outside, crying. The school already ended a few hours ago. I sent a message that I already went home, but I didn’t. They didn’t know that. I heard footsteps and as I looked up. I didn’t expect to see him, Reggie. “You alright?” he said. “What do you think?” I turned my face towards the football field. He sat down beside me. The wind outside got stronger and I felt goosebumps on my arms. Reggie noticed that I started to shiver. He took off his Letterman jacket and put it on my shoulders. “thanks” I mumbled. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. “You don’t need to be here, Reggie.” I finally said. “I do!” he answered back. “how did you know I was here?” I asked him. “I know you, Y/N.” he said back “No, you don’t. Why are you here anyways? Don’t you have a girl you need to sleep with? Or a girl in general waiting for you?” my outburst was sudden. A surprised expression entered his beautiful face. Everything was suddenly awkward. He was silent looking at me. A groan came out of my mouth and I sat down annoyed. “I’m sorry” Reggie mumbled. “why do you even care? Reggie? Tell me why? Why me?” I started raising my voice as I stood up again looking at the field. Thunder and lightning started to appear. “I don’t know. I just… I don’t know” his voiced cracked. “if you don’t know. Then leave. I don’t want you here. You have hurt me enough. Please just leave” the tears started running. The rain started to trickled down my cheek. “no” he said. My glance went from the field to him. His cheek was still a little red. “Fine, if you won’t leave then I will.” I reached for my bag but Reggie stepped in front of it. “Reggie, move!” I cried as I tried to push him away and gave his letterman jacket back. He finally stepped aside and I took my bag and started to walk away from him. The rain started to pour down. “I love you” I heard him whisper. I stomped towards him and was going to slap him in the face but he grabbed my hand before it hit him. My eyes were watering. I was mad, sick and tired. “Why? You have been an asshole. We haven’t talked since spring break and now you love me? What the hell is wrong with you? You broke up with me remember?” I yelled at him in pain. “Yeah, but you cheated remember that?” he yelled back while still holding my wrist. I was in shock. “I cheated when? I didn’t cheat on you? Who told you that?” I was still in shock. where did he get that from? “Moose and Chuck!” he said quietly “are you fucking serious Reggie. You trusted a bunch of idiots instead of talking to me?” I exclaimed. We were soaked and cold. I kept crying but I still looked at him. He still held my wrist but loosened it up a little. Then he started crying “I love you, I always have. I didn’t get the chance to tell you because I found out you were “supposedly” cheating on me. That’s why I broke things off.” he said getting a little angry. “what is done, is done!” I said. he dropped my hand. And I started walking home. The lump in my chest was hurting. I just couldn’t believe it. He thought I cheated on him and wouldn’t even talk to me about it. What an asshole. The rain was still pouring. I was walking in the parking lot and have just walked pass by Reggie’s car.

“I’m sorry” a voice behind me said. “sorry doesn’t cut it Reggie.” I continued walking. “just give me a chance” he pleaded. I ignored at continued walking home. I was suddenly against him, but before I could say anything he pressed his lips tightly against mine. His hand against my cheek. I wanted so badly to push him away but I couldn’t. I opened my mouth letting him in. He smiled into the kiss. He pushed me against his car, lifting me up on his car. He removed his lips from my mouth and on to my neck. I moaned. “I still hate you, Reggie Mantle” I moaned out. “I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N” he kissed my lips before attacking me with his lips again. He unlocked his car door and we went into his back seat. He kept kissing my neck and started to take off my shirt. Our wet clothes were stuck on our bodies. Suddenly clothes were everywhere. Underwear on the steering wheel and pants and skirt on the dashboard. Loud moaning and groaning were coming out from his car. Our bodies went from wet and cold to sweaty and hot. We both had to catch our breath, I was laying naked on top of naked Reggie. “I haven’t been with a girl since Spring break” he said. “what? You haven’t? what about the girls I have seen you with?” I questioned, “I only made out with them, but nothing more. I just couldn’t”. I lifted my head from his sweaty chest. “Really? It’s has almost been like a year” he nodded. “I still love you Reggie” he smiled and kissed me on my lips. We put back our wet clothes and he drove me home. As he parked in my drive-way he gave me one last kiss for the night. “I love you and I’ll always will” he said, the kiss lasted a lot longer than expected because were already on round two.

When I Was Your Man (Jacob Black x ex! reader)

Key-

Y/n - Your name  Y/l/n - Your last name   Y/e/c - your eye color                      Y/h/c - your hair color

Prompt - Songfic based on Bruno Mars’ “When I Was Your Man”. Jacob severely neglected the reader for Bella and they broke up with him. After this Jacob realizes how much he loved them through flashbacks due to certain items, the next time he sees the reader they’re with Embry…the wolf that imprinted on them.(A lot of gifs sorry!)

Word Count - 1,618


Originally posted by onlygodcanjudgeme-sh

“Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now“

Jacob turned in his bed and looked to the empty side, the side where Y/n used to sleep. His mind immediately flashed back to the good mornings they spent together, the mornings when he’d turn to see them with a goofy smile and a crazy bed head. The two would share a small kiss and Y/n would play with Jake’s hair while they talked, but those were the good mornings. Those were the mornings before Jake phased, before Bella clung to him, before he began to neglect the one person who loved him for someone who didn’t. Jacob blew the air from his cheeks as an aching feeling filled his heart, the bed felt so empty without his lovely Y/n……

Originally posted by taylorl365

“Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same”

Jacob, Quil, and Seth sat around in the Black’s garage as Jake continues tinkering on his car. The other two wolves did most of the talking and Jake would occasionally let out his input from his place rolled under the car, eventually Seth grew quite bored of the awkward silences and put on the radio. Jacob took a break and sat on the creeper while drinking some soda, laughing occasionally when Quil and Seth would burst into song when they heard specific lyrics of their favorite songs. The atmosphere was light and happy, buzzing with energy until the spokesperson announced what song the station was going to play. Seth and Quil watched as the smile left Jake’s face slowly, watched as the pain etched into his face with certain lyrics. He could see Y/n, singing along to the song as he drove them both on dates and the song played.
The way their y/e/c eyes would light up as they’d belt the lyrics, the way they’d dance in the passenger seat along to the beat and a blush would cover their cheeks when they noticed he was watching them. The aching feeling came back just a little stronger this time and Quil shut off the radio, sure Jacob liked the song but it just wasn’t the same without Y/n there…

Originally posted by taetaexkris

“When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down ‘Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name”

Jacob hadn’t seen Charlie since before the breakup, neither of you had. People would always say that he and Billy Black were the relationships biggest supporters, they were the type that believed you’d get married. That’s why when Jake saw Charlie’s cruiser pull up a lump formed in his throat, at least Charlie wasn’t one for making a huge scene in public. He made it to the living room when the chief walked into the house, his dark eyes immediately searching for his friend and his kid. “Hey Charlie” Jacob greeted in a fake cheery voice, hoping to god that Charlie wouldn’t bring up Y/n at all. “Hey Jake, where’s Y/n? You and that kid share a brain” Charlie asked with a smile, a twinge of pain shot through Jake’s chest as he remembered the fishing trip they all went on a year ago.
Y/n had spent a good fraction of the time complaining about the bugs and sun glare, the other fraction though they had been absolutely adorable to Jake. He remembers their concentrating face, the way their nose would wrinkle and eyes would squint as they tried to patiently wait for a fish to bite their line. Charlie watched the smile fall from the young boys face in confusion, Billy sighed and gave Jake a sad smile “We broke up a few weeks ago” and Charlie immediately felt awkward and horrible. “I didn’t know kid, I’m sorry” The chief said sincerely and Jacob smiled a sad smile “It’s alright Charlie, you didn’t know”. Jacob was starting to understand why his heart hurt so bad when he thought of you…

Originally posted by spaxeheater

“too dumb to realize;That I should have bought you flowers; And held your hand
;Should have gave you all my hours When I had the chance;Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance”

Only after the breakup settled with him did Jacob enjoy the pack mind, it was always clustered and he was always distracted from his thoughts. This was until Jared begged Jacob to run his rounds for him so he could see his imprint, Jacob only said yes because Jared was extremely persistent and who was he to deny Jared sex or love? His paws thudded against the ground as he ran watch for both him and Jared, his abnormally large wolf body wading through the trees perfectly as he kept his senses aware for the sick smell of leeches. His dark eyes skimming the trees around him so he didn’t crash suddenly when he saw an indent in one that made him skid to a stop, once finally stopped Jacob went over to the tree and got a better look at the indentation. An older mark showed that a heart was carved into an area where the bark was peeled off, inside the heart were the initials of Jacob and Y/n’s names.
A high-pitched wailing whine fell from Jacob’s wolf, the heart had scratches over top of it that looked a few weeks old. The scratches were made with a human’s nails, he sniffed it and it smelt of his sweet Y/n. No not his anymore, he ruined their relationship. He was too stupid to realize that Y/n needed him just as much as Bella did, maybe more. He realized that Y/n deserved him giving them their favorite flowers because the damn flowers always cheered them up, always brought the smile that Jake loved to their face. Jacob realized just how much Y/n loved PTA, realized that he should have held their hand instead of been texting and conversing with Bella. Jacob registered that he could’ve spent so much more time with his significant other between pack meetings and spending time with Bella, instead he spent all his extra time with Bella.
He could’ve stayed late with Y/n when they had dates or went to parties so they could dance, he knew how much they loved dancing and he could’ve let them do what they loved. Now he couldn’t do that though, because he broke them up with all of his neglect….

Originally posted by pleasantdreamqueen

“Now my baby’s dancing; But she’s dancing with another man”

Jacob picked at the muffin on his plate, ever since he realized everything he did his mood has been even worse. It didn’t help that no one knew where his best friend had gone last night, Embry had suddenly disappeared. “Jacob…” Leah sighed from beside him, patting his arm lightly because she understood how he was feeling now but knew it was his fault. “I’m fine Leah” Jake grumbled shoving another piece of muffin in his mouth, Paul snorted from across the table and shook his head while shoving food in his mouth. “Hey guys” Embry’s cheery voice called through the air and everyone erupted into questions, Jake though that Sam was going to kill him judging by his tone of voice. “I’m sorry Sam, I was with my imprint” Embry said scratching the back of his neck before the pack collectively asked “You Imprinted”. The lanky boy chuckled nervously at his packmates before glancing at Jacob, Embry gulped and sat as far away as he could.
“Yeah and they really like to dance, I didn’t keep track of time” After he spoke Embry grabbed some food and immediately looked down at it. Jacob heard ringing, his heart began thumping in his chest as that painful aching feeling filled his chest again but now it was four times as strong. He now knew why Embry sat away from him “Are you serious?” It came out a little colder than Jacob first expected and Embry shrunk slightly in his seat. “Yeah…everyone I imprinted on Y/n” Embry said and the pack double took, Jacob ran outside and phased before running into the woods. “It’s alright Embry” Sam said before following the extremely loud whines and yowls coming from the woods outside his house….

Originally posted by q--uileutes

“My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways; Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life; Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, oh; And it haunts me every time I close my eyes”

Sam, Jared, and Paul followed Jacob into the woods and phased. They all stayed quiet as they heard all the thoughts swirling through Jacob’s mind, all of them whining as they feel the pain radiating off him. All he could think about was how much he fucked up, Y/n was the best thing that ever happened to him and he neglected them. They loved him and he loved them, he still loved them and he let it go on some schoolboy crush. He let Y/n go and now he could never ever get them back, he could never right the wrongs he’d done. He was so self-congratulatory that Bella had seemingly chosen him over the bloodsucker that he focused on her, not the one who actually loved him and cared for his wellbeing. Y/n was one of the strongest people in his life, they were his rock throughout everything and he broke their heart.
But now they were gone and never coming back to him, all because of him. Why was he such an idiot? Bella never loved him and now ruined everything

Originally posted by inlovewithtaylordaniel

“Although it hurts; I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong; Oh, I know I’m probably much too late; To try and apologize for my mistakes; But I just want you to know
I hope he buys you flowers; I hope he holds your hand; Give you all his hours; When he has the chance; Take you to every party: 'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance; Do all the things I should have done ;When I was your man ;Do all the things I should have done ;When I was your man”

Jacob was laughing for the first time in weeks, he and Leah had been joking around for a good portion of this bonfire when they saw two people walk down. Y/n was walking next to Embry and he wrapped his arms around their shoulders, Leah smiled and Jacob couldn’t help the sad smile that came to his lips. It was much too late for him to take back everything but he had apologized and they made up, slowly a friendship was blossoming. Embry was perfect for them, it was everything Jacob hoped would happen to Y/n. Embry gave them the attention they deserved, He bought them their favorite flowers on a daily basis, Embry loved showing them off and holding their hand, He took them to so many parties because both he and Jake knew how much Y/n loves parties. Embry did everything for Y/n and it made Jacob smile, he did everything Jake didn’t do when he was their man.

Commitment

“Why are you afraid of commitment?” Reid asks as the two of you step out of your shared hotel room, the events of last night playing back in your mind. Lying together, talking into the darkest hours of night, the way his lips crashed into yours mid-sentence, the feel of his skin under your fingertips, his tongue and his fingers, his moans, the look in his eyes, the ecstasy. It had been the best night of your life, you gave yourself into your desires and feelings, but you knew that come morning things would be different. Reality and fear would settle in.

“Reid, you’ve been pushing this all day. I’m sorry I just don’t wanna talk.” you were different when you woke up, slipping out of bed quickly unnoticed. When the team assembled for breakfast you avoided Reid’s gaze and made an excuse every time he tried to talk to you. When Hotch sent the two of you to check out a location Reid began to speak of what had happened, you’d bring his focus back on the case and that was how the day rolled out: you keeping your distance.

As you and Spencer were making your way to dinner he asked about it once again.

“What is it, (Y/n)? Are you afraid of commitment?”

“I’m not.” you shrugged, keeping your face neutral as you were sure he was reading every single expression, no matter how small.

“(Y/N), if I… if I wasn’t good last night-” he stopped before finishing his sentence and you turned back to him, a frown on your face.

“Reid, that’s not what this is about. You were great, greater than I ever expected you to be honestly. Don’t doubt yourself, please.” you tried to make him believe your words because you meant every single one of them. You knew the genius was skilled at a number of things and though your imagination had wondered what he was like during sex, the real thing was a lot better than you thought he would be. You got addicted, you wanted more, you craved more. But fear held you back.

“Do you regret it then? Because 70% of hookups are regretted and if you want to forget about it, that’s fine with me. Even though it meant a lot.” he was speaking with the softest voice and your heart ached. You wanted to tell him how much you enjoyed it, how you dreamed of it, how you had never felt more beautiful. You opened your mouth but before you could speak JJ turned the corner.

“Guys, hurry up we’re all starving.” she laughed and the conversation faded. Dinner was filled with conversation and really hungry FBI agents, but Reid barely touched his food and remained silent as the night rolled out.

“You okay, Pretty Boy?” Morgan called and all eyes turned to the genius, yours included. He simply shrugged and nodded, an absent smile on his face that only you could decipher. You knew he was upset because of your behaviour and you cursed yourself for hurting someone you cared about so deeply. A few moments later, as the team anticipated to rejoice in dessert, Reid stands up and excuses himself from the table, saying that he was feeling tired and bidding everyone goodnight. You, however, knew different. Giving the team the same excuse, you make your way to your room and find him leaning against the balcony and letting the cool air enter the room.

“This is very movie-like.” you joked and stood next to him, turning your body to his but not getting the same response as he kept his gaze into the city ahead of you. He kept silent and you grew sadder and guiltier by the second until you decided to speak.

“You were right. I am afraid of commitment.” Reid turned to you and encouraged you to keep talking. “I’ve never been someone whose relationships were all roses and silky sheets, quite the contrary honestly. All the people I’ve been with only made me feel worse about myself.”

“You know I would never do that.” he interrupted.

“I know, I know. But I’m… afraid that if I let this happen, if we let this happen, that you’ll see that I’m really not worth being with and leave. God, Reid. Last night was incredible, I’ve been wanting to be that close to you since the day I met you. But there’s always that fear in the back of my mind, that voice that says it won’t work out and I’ll end up broken-hearted again. I’m so scared of being in love, Reid.”

You hadn’t noticed that he was now holding your hands in his, your bodies closer than before. His eyes were studying your face, noticing your shallow breath and a slight pout on your lips.

“If it helps, I’m afraid too. I haven’t let myself fall in love many times, or at least I’ve never wanted to do anything about it, but I do with you. I don’t want to spend a moment not loving you, how could anyone? Last night was the happiest I’ve been in a really long time, (Y/N). A-and today, the way you acted, I was so sure I’d messed up. I don’t want to push you to make a decision or jump into anything, but I do want you to know that it’s safe to be with me, because I won’t do anything other than love you and take care of you.”

As always, his words stirred something in you, made your insides twist and lit a fire in your soul. You weren’t sure how he had such effect on you but you couldn’t deny it. All you wanted was to take his doubts and fear away just like he wanted to erase yours. It dawned on you that you were two people who desperately wanted to be together but had been too hurt before to venture into something new. But it was worth it, he was worth it.

Originally posted by dr-spencer-reid-though

Consequences - Part 1

Pairing: Jensen x Reader ; Jared x BFF!Reader

Warnings: Language, drinking, unexpected pregnancy, talks of abortion, implies smut, drunken one-night stand, poor birth control decisions (If you are on the pill, please remember to take it around the same time EVERYDAY or it will lose it’s effectiveness)

Word Count: 3945

A/N: This was written for Ravengirl’s 1.5K Follower Challenge @ravengirl94. My prompt was “We need to fix this before it gets worse. I really don’t want to hear about it for the next six months.” Literally right at the end. This story kinda got away from me and I have more to come with it. Like another part or two. This was nearly 4000 words and that was like only half my outline oopps. Sorry no explicit smut this time just wasn’t feeling it. Congrats on your followers’ girl, sorry this is late but I had to figure out where to split it. No beta and feedback always wanted and appreciated. P.S. No hate towards Danneel, this does mention Jensen getting a divorce, lets pretend it was amicable and they are both happy.

Summary: After a drunken and heated one-night stand with Jensen, you are left with an unexpected consequence. The situation only worsens when your best friend Jared gets involved and the public forms their own opinion.

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It’s been so long since I’ve met someone who I’ve really bonded with like on some deeper, romantic level

I’d say maybe it’s only happened a handful of times in my life, and it has never lasted long if the sparks were there.

Liiiike I wanna stay up all night with someone n just talk. Gosssssh, it feels hopeless sometimes. 😔