Today I received this awesome birthday gift from some nerd I know who makes amazing things with cloth and yarn and floss and such.

It is my new favorite thing, and I’ve already placed it on one of the shelves that hold my Douglas Adams and Neil Gaiman and P.G. Wodehouse books.

Thanks, stitchwad. You rock.

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The relevant quote from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy goes like this:

“But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months.”

“Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn’t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything.”

“But the plans were on display …”

“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”

“That’s the display department.”

“With a flashlight.”

“Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”

“So had the stairs.”

“But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”

“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ’Beware of the Leopard’.”

Part of one of my favorite “nursery rhymes” from one of my favorite books, We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. I wanted the piece to look very boring from a distance but have a dark secret. It didn’t quite turn out like I wanted, the skull is a little too noticeable after I ironed it. The gold and brown is over 2, the white and glow thread are over 1 to fit the skull pattern in the cup space.

See the individual shots on my Flickr.

Bridget Trap:

1. Materials

  • 1 Refrigerator box 
  • 1 Stick
  • 1 String
  • 1 Cup of coffee 

2. Assemble as shown.

3. The coffee aroma will inevitably attract the prey into the box.

4. Pull the string.

Congratulations! You have a Bridget! You will be endlessly delighted by your Bridget for years to come. Just follow these tips:

  • Your Bridget needs a steady supply of coffee. DON’T SKIMP! An uncaffeinated Bridget is a dangerous Bridget.
  • Never feed your Bridget eggs or egg products. Eggs are your Bridget’s natural enemy.
  • Supply your Bridget with ample cross stitch materials. You will be rewarded with many filthy, framable crafts to hang or give as gifts. Remember, Christmas is coming!

Hi nerds! I’ve got all of my pieces back home now, and I was thinking that it’s kind of a shame for them to sit in my closet. I want to find nice homes for them, where they might actually be seen by someone from time to time. I’m not really sure how to go about it.

If you’re interested in buying any of these pieces, send me an ask or a fan mail and let’s talk. (I’m selling instead of just giving them away just to make sure it’s a serious inquiry. Like somebody charging $50 for a kitten or something.)