• Lúcio: So, anyone know any jokes?
  • Bastion: Beeep...?
  • Orisa: Oh, I'm sure it's perfectly fine to tell around humans, go on, go on.
  • Bastion: Beep beep bweet doot, boop beep bween byoop... Beep boop... BEEP BLOOP BWEET!
  • Lúcio: I don't understand, so why did-
  • Lúcio: I'm 26.
  • Zenyatta: (Shakes Lúcio by the shoulders) WHEN YOU'RE OLDER.
  • Submitted by Anonymous

BEEEP VOICEMAILS is an ongoing writing project where I, the writer, will post a daily voicemail from our unnamed main character to their lost love Tad that you, the reader, will read. Follow the story of what was right and what went wrong through delightfully chaotic voicemails, half-left when drunk.

anonymous asked:

Headcannon where MC refuse to answer any phonecalls or talk to RFA+V+Saeran because she has toothache and don't want to tell them because she had been warned not to eat too much sweets by them. But the gang misunderstood, thinking that MC ignoring them or mad at them??


I didn’t do Jaehee because I think she’d be really calm and understanding, and wait patiently until you eventually tell her—although she’d still be slightly nervous for the entire time until you revealed the truth. 

Same with V (especially V, he would probably just quietly blame himself until your toothache gets better so you can tell him…)

But here you go~!


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HEY hey heyY!! Hell!o!!! Mod SHorterHAir brought me over some hard root beer because he is a BAD INFULUENCE. but alsio it is a yummy beverage. I like a nnice yummy  beverage so yes I had some so here is some drawings because that is my rule. I A mM GOing to ahve some water and GO to BED!
(rule is to me draw dinosaurs wheverenr I have BEVRERAGE)

(Dude why would you bring me lovleynice beverage on n a school night look how bad at steering my meatbag it has made me???)

Ok goodnight I love you unless youre a bigot in which case please go eat some dead flies Ok yes.

(PotatoFriend called me a lightweight and it is trrue :(((( )

Pity Party (Poly!Hamilsquad x Reader) *Epilogue*

Originally posted by clinatasha

Pairing: Poly!Hamilsquad x Reader

Requested?: BY A LOT OF YOU

Prompt: The aftermath of “Pity Party

Words: 1500+

Warnings: Fluff!

Masterlist // Part One



“H-Hey, (Y/N)! It’s Alexander… Er, Hamilton, if you had forgotten. It’s been a couple of days since you left and I know I’ve said it before but I’m so sorry for forgetting your birthday. I know the guys and I have been calling you non-stop but it’s because we care about you! I’ve been working on my novel like I told you I would. It’s been a slow process but I’ve managed to finish the first ten chapters! Only twelve more to go and I’ll be done! …. (Y/N), my darling, we still love you so much. Please call me back soon and please come home! I’ll call you as soon as I can. Have a good day, my love. Bye.




"Mon Amour! It is I, your favorite Frenchman! The boys and I are very worried about you, especially Alexander. Poor thing, always worrying if you’re dead or found someone else. Well, you kinda did get married to the most clingy one out of all of us. He hasn’t been eating that much as of late because he’s always worrying about you and his novel. Herc has been working on a dress for you too, Mon Amour. It’s pale blue and white, your favorite colors! John has been painting a lot lately too, mainly portraits of you. I’ve been writing more songs. But they really aren’t as good as the ones you write… (Y/N), please come home. We miss you so much and we are all so sorry for forgetting your birthday. Work has been hell, as you could tell. Please call me when you can, okay? Je t’aime, mon angel. Adieu.




"Hey, baby girl! It’s Laurens. Hehe, how have you been, beautiful? It’s been a few days since I saw your pretty face. You’re not still mad about your birthday, right? I’ve already sent at least twenty voicemails apologizing. Alex sent about forty. You know how he gets. So, I had been painting more. Remember that art gallery who wanted a piece of mine to display? They loved this one portrait I did last Wednesday and accepted it! It was a portrait of you back when you used to be a ballerina in high school. I painted it by memory. … Um, you know we love you, right? We are really sorry for forgetting your birthday. I had a present planned out and I might be able to finish it soon! I’ll call you when I’m done, okay? I gotta go. I’m expecting a phone call from the gallery so they can display another piece. Love you, baby girl! Bye!”




“Hey, (Y/N). If you can’t tell from my voice, it’s Hercules. You’re probably at work right now and don’t want to hear from us but please call me when you can. We miss you, and Alex is falling apart because he’s worried about you. I’ve been working on a birthday present for you for the past few weeks and I finally finished it! It’s that blue and white dress you told me you would wear. I need to wrap it up for you when you get home. … You are coming home, right? Please come home, (Y/N). Call me when you get this! I have to go now. Love you!”



You stared into your cup of coffee with such concentration. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, four days after your birthday. You’ve been staying at Eliza’s apartment (that was three floors up from your apartment) since you left the apartment you shared with your husband and three boyfriends (blame John for your drunken marriage to Alexander four years ago in Vegas). You stopped being mad the morning after you left and now you didn’t want to face them. You felt so stupid about being upset over something you couldn’t change. Alexander was a best-selling author, Lafayette was a really popular singer, John was a popular artist, Hercules was a fashion designer who worked with popular New York brands, and you were a full-time nurse who worked ten to fifteen hours a day, five days a week. Of course, you were going to be busy all week. The only days you got to see your boys were weekends and they were usually working while you slept. But at least you got to see them. You were stressed most of the time that you did forget a birthday or an anniversary a couple of times. You were being a hypocrite.


You looked up to see Eliza strolling over to you, a worried look on her soft features. She has been worried about you since you got here as a crying mess. You’ve been working more hours these past few days and you constantly ignored your lovers and spent most mornings in bed. You haven’t been that motivated lately. Eliza and her sisters had to force you to get out of bed for work lately. There was probably something wrong with you. 

“You haven’t been yourself lately,” Eliza said as she sat down next to you. “(Y/N), you need to talk to them.”

You shook your head. “They probably don’t want to talk to me.”

“Bullshit, (Y/N)!” Eliza cried, causing you to look at her with wide eyes. “Those boys have been calling you non-stop since you left! Those voicemails, they are pleading you to go back home and they’re apologizing over and over. Alexander is crying in most of them too! You must be deaf to not hear how much they love you and want to back home.”

The moment Eliza stopped talking, your phone began to ring and vibrate. It was Alexander. You stared at the phone as it rang, Alexander’s ringtone (which was a recording of him singing “You Are My Sunshine” by Johnny Cash) filling the air. Eliza picked up your phone and put it in your hand. 

“Answer it, dear,” Eliza said as she smiled at you. “You need to talk to him.”

You nodded and accepted the call, pulling the phone to your ear. “Hey, Alex.” 

You heard him gasp and let out a sound of surprise. “(Y/N)! My love, you answered!” 

You nodded, a smile subconsciously forming on your face. “Hey, can you come pick me up?”

“Why? Did something happen? Don’t you have work today?”

You shrugged. “I took today off. I’m ready to come home.”

Alexander chuckled. “Y-Yeah! I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

You nodded before hanging up. You went into the guest room you were staying in and collected your nurse scrubs, bag, and coat. You ran a hand through your messy hair and almost jumped out of your skin when the doorbell rang and feverish knocking came from the door. Eliza saw you holding your stuff and smiled at you.

“You can keep those.” She said, motioning to the tank top and sweatpants you wore. She walked over and opened the door, standing out of the way so Alexander could have a clear view of you. 

He was a mess. Alexander’s hair was more messy and unkempt than usual. His clothes were wrinkled and the dark circles under his eyes were turning black. His goatee was growing into a beard. His eyes were bloodshot. 

“You look like shit, Alex.” You said, breaking the silence. 

Alexander strolled over to you and pulled you into a bear hug. He held you as whimpers left his lips. You hugged back as you buried your face in his shoulder. You heard footsteps and looked up, seeing the rest of the Hamilsquad come rushing into the room and joining the group hug. You stood still and held onto the boys for what felt like forever. You didn’t want to let go. You missed their touches and scents so much. You regret leaving over something so stupid like a day of the year. There’ll be more birthdays to remember. There’ll be more important things to get angry about. This isn’t one of them. This shouldn’t have gotten to you. You felt so stupid. 

But, everything was okay now. You had your boys. You had them, and they had you. You could go home and open their late presents and eat ice cream until your sick. You can have a Disney marathon and play Mario Kart until your fingers were numb. You can fall asleep in the arms of the men you loved. That’s all you wanted. That’s all you need.

And that’s what you’re getting.

Tags!!: @hamilton–trassh @building-palaces-from-paragraphs @artisticgamer @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @tom-is-on-fire @megabooklover18 @hamilsontrash @dear-alexander @wafflersinabox @katrinathepest @bumbleliv @imagineham @the-a-ham

Dr Phil :Suho’s Story Part 1

Dr.Phil: Hi I’m Dr.Phil and I’m here with Suho. A single mother of um…/thinks/


Dr.Phil: Eight…We were notified about Suho’s reckless habits and are here to try to save him from ruining not only himself but his family


Dr.Phil:/looks over at Suho/ Now Your son was actually the one who contacted us..did you know?

Suho:/laughs/ No…I had a bag thrown over my head and was thrown into the back of a white van


Suho: I’m being serious

Dr.Phil: Your youngest Sehun notified us about you being an alcoholic apparently. How much would you say that you drink Daily?

Suho:/laughs shaking his head while looking down/

Dr.Phil: I’m sorry is something wrong?

Suho:/laughing/ I’m just amused at the fact that you’ve accused me of such../wipes the tears from his eyes/ Its simply not true

Dr.Phil: Suho We have your son backstage

Suho:/flips his hair/ Bring his ass out


Sehun:/struts his ass out while holding vivi/


Suho:/rolls his eyes/

Sehun:/glares at Suho as he sits down/

Dr.Phil: Sehun you called us because you said that your mothers alcoholic episodes are causing problems at home

Sehun:/nods as he pets Vivi/ Yes~

Dr. Phil: Can you tell what happens during these episodes of his?

Sehun: Well he usually downs a bottle of wine but if that’s not enough he turns to vodka

Suho:/snorts/ No no no..that is a lie

Sehun: See he’s in denial….when he’s drunk all he does is cry, scream or thinks he’s still married

Dr. Phil: You say he often cries for your father

Sehun: Yes he will usually ask where he is and it gets really annoying…I get tired of hearing “YIFAN! YIFAN”

Suho:/ triggered af/ Don’t you speak of him!!



Sehun:/ gasps offended af/ EXCUSE ME?!

Dr.Phil:/to the technical crew/ TURN ON THE CENSORS


Sehun:/gets up/ *Beep* YOU AND YOUR LITTLE *beeep beep beep beeeeeep*

Suho:/jumping up and down screaming/ *beeeeeep beep beeeep beeeeeeep*

Jin:/sitting backstage with the girls/ Guys this looks bad

Key:/doing his makeup/ No no let him embarrass himself

Heechul: This hoe is crazy

N:/asking the staff/ Sooo…where’s the buffet?

Jinyoung:/shakes his head/ You see an ass whooping would shut that shit down..Suho needs to learn all about the art of discipline

N:/looks at the snack table/ Wait a this ain’t no damn buffet. I have been to a buffet bar and this ain’t it!!

Heechul/looks away from the tv and at Yifan / And you were married to that?

Yifan:/groans and buries his face in his hands/ Why the fuck did I come back?

Jin: Suho is going to shit bricks when he sees you

Security:/breaks up the fight between Suho and Sehun/


Key:/laughs/ Just to think we’ve got a whole other episode to go

To be continued


“Hey, Tad. It’s, um, it’s, um. It’s me. You know who it is, Tad. You know who it is. It’s been two weeks since we broke up Tad and I know that I was the one who slammed the door in your face but oh fucking God I miss you now Tad. Maybe it’s just ‘cause Mia got me drunk in an attempt to forget about you but I’m laying on my bathroom floor and I just. I just threw up and I remembered when you held my hair back that one time I had the flu at your house. Please come take care of me Tad. I miss you, I wa-”

Male! Mc Mystic Messenger ZEN route Day 5 {Hour 6:59}

Casual Route Previous Hour | List | Mobile List | Next Hour 

6:59 Handsome Me

Zack slowly opened his eyes to see the sun pouring in through the blinds of his window. He hated sunlight and preferred cloudy/rainy days then sunny hot ones. He rolled over in frustration and covered his head with his pillow and slowly closed his eyes. 


“Ugh!” He sat up and unplugged his phone from the charger and turned off his alarm. He stretched his back and rolled out of bed landing harshly on the floor before inch worming his way to the computer. He climbed up the chair and clicked open his document before printing it out. He pressed his back into the chair and let out a loud “Aaaah!” As he yawned loudly. Slowly he grabbed the papers and put them in his bag unlocking his phone simultaneously. No texts from his outside friends. Just a bunch of notifications from the RFA. Not until he joined the group did he suddenly start using his phone so much.  

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