Sometimes, Cards Against Humanity with the Bee Team just devolves into smutty poetry and bees.
Can we write a green eggs and ham but sex? Like. I would do you on the car. I would do you on the bar. I would do you in a box. I would do you in your socks I would do you. on the run. i would do you. on the sun. I would do you now and then. I would do you, with a Leviathan I would do you near or far. But especially on my car. I would do you on the bed. I would do you near the dead. I would do you on the lawn. will you have my demon spawn? I would not could not in the Hell, I would not could not with hair gel. I would do with in a tree. I would do you with some bees I would do you in the hive. While we’re at it, lets jive. I would do you if you bring pie. Sammy, just don’t die. Please, don’t die. I would do you, cause you’re hot. I would do you, cursed or not. No matter what they did to you in Hell, I won’t show and tell. I would so do you, Cain. I would do you in the rain. Dean would do the sex with Cain. Because they’re both full of manpain. Would you do me with the bees? Only if you ask please. I WOULD ALWAYS WITH THE BEES In the trees and on your knees? ANY WHERE YOU PLEASE fuck what else rhymes with bees i would not fuck you on the keys. maybe on the seas What about you, Benny? Would you fuck me with the bees? Only if you make me some tea. Bro if you lie in my bed, you better give me some head. When we did it in purgatory, It was a sad story. We almost died. but at least there was pie.
imagine spark doing some stupid shit like trying to spray an entire can of cheese into his mouth at once while candela eggs him on and blanche just sort of pinches their temples and wishes the day would be over already
It’s a gift, because Cas has been living in the bunker for a year now.
On May 2nd, he made Sam a big chocolate cake (even though Dean bitched it wasn’t pie) and a salad full of strawberries and blueberries and spicy chicken with a sweet vignette that Sam talked about for weeks (Dean bitched about that too).
On January 24th, he made a pie and a cheeseburgers and crawled into the back of the Impala for a drive to absolutely nowhere. (Dean didn’t bitch about that at all.)
But neither of them knew when Cas’s birthday was. They didn’t even know if he had a birthday.
So when the year mark rolls up, Sam mentions it. We should do something. Get something he’d like but wouldn’t ever get himself.
And that opened up a whole world of possiblities. But Dean knew exactly what to get.
We’re gonna get him some fucking bees.
So they get him two hives and Castiel stares at them like they’re the second coming and he smiles so big and gummy that both brothers are a little flustered.
He comes in from beekeeping in a big suit, smelling like smoke and sweat and grinning, and Dean laughs his ass off. Even Sam fights a smile.
But the hives change something.
Some of the tension that Dean didn’t realize was there is gone now. He finds Cas occupying the bunker, in a way he wasn’t before. He makes more noise, when he walks and when he cooks, like he’s home, and not a polite guest. His shoes are kicked off under the table in the library. His trenchcoat on the map in the warroom. Books he’s reading in the kitchen and the table in front of the TV, and even Dean’s bedside table because sometimes Dean wants company and Cas reads or watches Netflix, propped against the headboard while Dean falls asleep.
Castiel is living there now.
Like he finally knows he’s staying and he can relax. And Dean relaxes, too.
Sam notices it before Dean. The tiny way that Dean changes.
He actually touches Castiel now. When he’s brushing past him in the hallway, or watching a movie in the evening. A light hand to the elbow when they’re cleaning the dishes or an arm wrapped around his shoulder when they stagger in from sparring.
When they’re next to each other in Dean’s bed.
In the Impala, when Sam is sleeping in the back seat.
One afternoon, Castiel comes in from the beehives. His cheeks are pink and flushed and he’s grinning at Dean whose pouring a cup of coffee.
Cas holds up a piece of honeycomb, and without thinking, Dean licks it free of his fingertips.
For a heartbeat, everything stills, Cas stares at him like he did, that first night in the barn, and he can’t breathe and then Dean grins, licks his lips.
And Cas leans in and licks the taste of honey from Dean’s lips.
Kissing Cas feels like heaven.
He tastes like smoke and honey and home.
Kissing Dean feels like peace.
He tastes like sunlight and peace and home.
Sam finds them there thirty minutes later and he smiles when Cas blinks at him, dazed, lips kiss bitten, voice raspy. Still shiny and bright when he polite asks.
Would you like some honey?
How do you think the rest of team bee play with Pax and or help bee through his term?
No one really knew what to do while Bee was carrying Pax, so they just wound up stressing him out more, despite the fact that they were attempting to be on their best behavior.
Bee was feeling pretty lousy most of the time and kind of lead from affair – He didn’t go on many ‘Con retrieval missions and though he offered advice from the command center, usually he put Strongarm or -sometimes- Drift in charge. Naturally, Strongarm calling the shots rubbed Sideswipe the wrong way and a lot of things that should of been simple were full of squabbles and made much more complicated. They *tried* to be good and listen to each other, but there was just a lot of tension and Strongarm was frustrated, Sideswipe was chaffing under her lead, Grim was preoccupied worrying about Bee and Drift wanted to facepalm a lot.
Fixit, meanwhile, was a fountain of unsolicited information and educational videos that just made Bee much more nervous and freaked out about the whole business of carrying and raising a sparkling.
They tried to help, but nobody was really very helpful ^^a
Once Pax was in his own frame and online and Bee was feeling much, much better, things evened back out. Getting used to a new schedule was a hassle at first, what with Pax being so helpless and needing to be held and looked after All The Time, but at least that was a job that could be shared. Bee and Grim took turns staying home with him the first few weeks.
Strongarm, being the eager beaver she is, volunteered to babysit the little dude. It wound up being harder than she expected, because Pax did nothing but cry and sleep and cry more in the beginning while all his systems became fully functional. Sometimes, she had no idea how to console him when he was crying and Primus could he cry.
Later, as he became more mobile and began learning to speak, he became more fun. Strongarm’s still not the best at dealing with him, but she is capable of doing things like reading to him or playing with some of his more physically stimulating toys (they play catch or things like that). She’s definitely got a handle on the more educational kind of fun and Bee had to tell her that, yes, he is too young to learn Cybertronian police code.
Sideswipe, once he got over a moment of “OH PRIMUS HE’S SO SMALL I’LL BREAK HIM” and realized that despite his size, Pax is incredibly durrible, became a very willing partner in crime. He entertains Pax with movies and cartoons and all sorts of mischief, like seeing which things around the scrapyard Pax can fit inside, how high he can climb on stuff, and the occasional joyride. He’s also the one who slips Pax extra treats. Bee definitely doesn’t always approve and Grim gives Sideswipe warning glares a lot, but Pax is usually happy after spending time with him.
I’ve already established that Fixit winds up baby-sitting a lot, simply because he often stays behind when the team goes out on missions. As I mentioned before, Pax goes to him with questions and Fixit has taught him a lot of about the world in general and helps him research his questions. They’re good buddies, and Pax likes hanging out with him.
Jetstorm and Slipstream recruit him to play video games. Or they use him as an excuse to play. If they’re watching him, they’re supposed to play with him, right? To fail to do so would be appalling. He’s a sparkling and he’s learning through play; it’s very serious business you know. Pax looks at them as bigger kids (he totally thinks Drift is their mama) and loves when they play with him.
Drift…still does not know what to make of him. At all. But he does indulge Jetstorm and Slipstream when they insist it’s their turn to look after Pax. It’s a good lesson in responsibility, after all.
Once Windblade shows up, Pax is kind of scared of her. She’s bossy and big and strange and he can tell Strongarm disapproves of her. He hides when she’s around.
He loves Russel and Denny, because they give him toys and bring him hats and dress-up clothes (Pax loves disguises and pretending, as most small children do). And he’s small enough that he can easily use people things and wear people clothes. Russel is happy to play with him when nothing more exciting is happening and Denny knows how to find the best toys and some of them are even vintage and educational, so Bee doesn’t mind that Pax has a whole pile of playthings.
Pax loves his whole family because they all do different things with him. His mama and daddy are the best, though~
Does anyone in the Bee team fam ever want to show Pax some of their favorite places on cybertron like a cybertrian rode trip?
Oh yes! They would love to do that, because all of them are responsible for his education, since there’s no proper school or anything for him to attend, and because they want him to like and care about the things they like and care about.
Unfortunately, there’s been no time to take Pax to Cybertron. He’s heard all about this mysterious place where his family is from, and he tries to imagine it and draw pictures and guess at how it might look. He wants to go to Cybertron and see the sunsets and the mountains and everything that they love.
He also wants to visit with Grandpa Ratchet and and the rest of Team Prime. Mama’s friends are fun and interesting and spoil him rotten.
Someday, they’ll make it to Cybertron and Pax will be delighted to explore and learn about his family’s home.
[9:19:57 PM] <CrazyCasLady> We need a theme song [9:20:11 PM] <boundsammy> DUHNAHNAHNAHNAHNAHNAHANANAH BEE TEAAAAM [9:20:25 PM] <CrazyCasLady> Good enough haha [9:20:30 PM] <QuestionablyMoral> DO WE DOOOOO WE DO BEES [9:20:41 PM] <TheArronaut> bees bees the musical bug [9:20:49 PM] <boundsammy> I always thought Bee Team reminded me of the show/movie, The A Team [9:20:52 PM] <QuestionablyMoral> I LIKE BIG BEES AND I CANNOT LIE [9:20:58 PM] <boundsammy> omg
[9:21:14 PM] <boundsammy> them otha buzzers cant denyyy [9:21:30 PM] <BurningWicker> Like the A team but with more drunk boobs. [9:21:32 PM] <boundsammy> when the queen bee walks in with that itty bitty waist and that round ass in yo face you get….stung
Before I jump headfirst into what’s probably a mistake, I want to make a disclaimer:
These are my personal thoughts and opinions. You are free to disagree with me just as I’m free to disagree with you. By no means is my intent to attack others for feeling the way they feel, please understand that. I’m prepared for the blowback, I’m prepared for others to disagree and that’s perfectly ok.
Now that that’s squared away, I’ve been thinking about this post since I saw it. And as you can see, it’s been a while. Something didn’t really sit right with me, but it wasn’t anything I could articulate well at the time. I mean, it makes sense, right? Redemption arcs are a thing, why not?
So after mulling it over for who knows how long and with S3 on the horizon, I figured it was time to explain myself and why I disagree with most of this idea. I have nothing against the OP or people who do like the idea, it’s just how I feel and you’re free to do whatever you like with that. Let’s break this down:
Bumblebee as the Main Character
Part of the reason he’s not - as well as Optimus - was because I think RID2015 was an experiment of sorts and for the chosen demographic of 7-13…it worked? Keep in mind, this is the first American TF series that doesn’t have Optimus and Megatron as the central focus of the series. It just hasn’t been done before and the fact it’s standing pretty well within the target demographic is a good thing.
Part of it is Bee’s popularity and I get it, a lot of older fans are sick of seeing him around all the time, but hear me out. It’s done some good. It’s proving to Hasbro that you can have a fairly successful TF series without Optimus and Megatron in the spotlight. You know what that means? Different characters who haven’t seen the screen in a while. New characters with the potential to take up the reigns in the Autobot-Decepticon conflict. It can give way to more teams, different leaders, more characters than the typical ten or so that we’ve seen since TFA aired (I say this mostly in terms of Autobots…minus Prowl. I’d kill to see Prowl again). So in that sense, it’s kind of ok for Bee to be where he is???
Megatron as the Main Character
I’m all for redemption arcs, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t really see the point of giving one to TFP Megatron. If we flashback to TFP, I can think of three other characters that deserve a redemption arc more than Megatron: Breakdown (but he died), Dreadwing (killed by guess who), and Starscream (idk what’s happening anymore). Breakdown was without a doubt, the most redeemable of the lot. Dreadwing was starting to question motivations before - lo and behold - Megatron shot him through the spark. And oh gosh, Partners. Partners. There’s no excuse for dropping the ball there, that was just shitty writing.
But Megatron? The only moment he showed an ounce of repentance was at the end of Predacons Rising with literally one line dedicated to his shift in character. So wait, I’m supposed to accept that because Megatron was possessed for a hot second that he suddenly understands the harm he’s caused to others? Ok, maybe, godly powers are a spoopy thing. But to me, his actions - a very, very important thing in any visual medium - are insincere. Aside from that one line we got and flying off into the vast nothingness of space, that’s all we get to indicate change. I recognize that people - and characters - will show things in different ways but honestly? It doesn’t make sense.
The entirety of S3 (and the later half of S2) focused on Megatron wanting to revive Cybertron, to restore it to its former glory and rule it the way he believes it should be. So he showed a lot of interest in a rebuilding effort and even after the whole Unicron possession, why would he suddenly lose this desire to fix Cybertron?
It’s because he lost.
He lost and honestly, I read his actions more as “I don’t want to face the consequences of what I’ve done” rather than “The world is better off without me.” That’s not the tune you were singing an episode ago, buckaroonie.
So for a character that showed no desire to change and only did so to possibly further himself, I don’t understand how he’s a viable option for a redemption arc. He gave up what his intended goal was, basically fled the planet in self-exile, and kind of stopped caring about what happens to Cybertron.
Optimus Urging Redemption
I admit, it’s a very Optimus thing to do, but it goes along with the above point. Optimus completely wrote-off reasoning with Megatron at the end of S1 of TFP. Granted, things change and whatnot, but logically, it makes a lot more sense that he went after Bee rather than Megatron. Predacons Rising set up Bumblebee’s leadership role for RID2015 so throwing that away in favor of a Megatron redemption arc that wasn’t even hinted at makes no sense from a story perspective.
Not to mention that during that scene Megatron left, Optimus didn’t stop him or try to reason with him. Optimus let Megatron go, probably hoping he’d find peace somewhere out there, maybe return if he wanted to. But the crux of the matter is that he did nothing to change that event. Why would he, after years of silence, go after Megatron to tell him to go to Earth?
The Story Perspective
Again, as mentioned above, I don’t really understand how this would work in the series. So keep the pilot the same, but put Megatron in it? With the elements I explained above, this narrative can be seen as incoherent. If Megatron lost the desire to fix Cybertron and Optimus showed no desire to go after him and we cut from Bumblebee to Megatron…I don’t understand how it makes sense.Not to mention Bumblebee has no reason to trust Megatron and vice versa. Because, you know, they kind of murdered each other in Deadlock. #MutuallyAssuredDestruction
And going off of that, it decreases the value of
Deadlock. The choice of having Bumblebee kill Megatron was purely
retributive. While I try to stomp down my retributive side, I can’t help
but feel satisfaction and finality in that scene because wow, it’s
over. Megatron is the one who took everything from Bumblebee. Mutilated,
mind-controlled, and killed by Megatron. To have them together in a
series with their history and experiences? I don’t think even Bee has
the capacity to forgive to that ability, let alone tolerate Megatron.
Because while Megatron was resurrected and possessed by Unicron,
everything he did to Bumblebee? Purely him.
The channel hop definitely affected this show. We all know Cartoon Network hates Transformers and hates outside shows, they weren’t going to get away with any of what TFP got away with.
Executive Meddling is a huge deal. Gotta adhere to the boss man and from the completely unreliable updates we’ve been getting about just the air dates and season statuses alone, there’s definitely some of this at work.
Demographic. How many little kids - who have probably not seen TFP due to age and channel restrictions (let’s be real, who the fuck had The Hub?) - would want a redemption arc with no explanation? While the show is also for us, it’s for the new fans just as much. It’s something to remember.
Most of all, TFP Megatron is not MTMTE Megatron. He didn’t have that revelation of “Oh I dun goofed.” He didn’t offer to stand trial. He didn’t offer ANYTHING in the form of “I would like to repent and work with you to change things for the better like my intended goal,” he flew off. And people say Starscream’s the coward.
I by no means am saying that RID2015 is flawless the way it is. I’m objective, I know the flaws as well as the strengths (because it does in fact have those). As I stated earlier, I mean no ill will to the OP of the initial post nor the supporters of said post. Simply, from my experiences through learning screenwriting and what I know of these characters, it’s not my cup of tea.
Omg how did team prime first meeting with bee, his team, his boyfriend, their leader go. I really want the details, if you can I mean I don't mean to sound needy
Bee is a mix of both excited and incredibly nervous. It’s been forever since he’d seen most of his old team (with the exception of Ratchet and -obviously- Prime) and he’s thrilled that they’re coming to visit – But he’s also superstressed, because what if they don’t approve of his leadership style or like his subordinates or accept his mate or anything? He’s still lacking in a lot of confidence, so this is nerve-wracking.
The rest of Bee Team is in a tizzy getting ready for their guests. The scrapyard needs tidying so there’ll be space for everyone and everyone is a flurry of activity.
When Team Prime arrives, there’s a sort of awkward silence at first as they size each other up. The tension is broken by Pax, who’s surrounded by a lot of strangers and much bigger bots, bursting into tears because he’s kinda scared.
While Bee and Grimlock are comforting him, Optimus (who was kind of hanging back to let Bee take charge) steps in to greet his old team and make introductions.
Sideswipe and Smokescreen hit it off right away, but spend a lot of time posturing and trying to out-cool each other. After a few cubes of high grade, one of them challenges the other to a race and things sorta get loud and rowdy for a while (it doesn’t help that Wheeljack is heckling and encouraging them), but it’s pretty obvious those two are destined to be BFFs.
Strongarm is completely starry-eyed when she’s introduced to Ultra Magnus – Her other role model. She spends a good chunk of the day talking with him about his accomplishments and he manages to compliment her impeccable records. She’s gonna be walking on air for the rest of her life after that.
Bulkhead and Grimlock find each other awesome and get into a very animated discussion about smashing things. Bulkhead is utterly enchanted by Pax, who starts climbing all over him once he gets over his shy. The little guy is so cute and funny and precious and awwww Jackie can’t we have one too? (Wheeljack just looks at him and is like “Damn, Bulk, we’re too old for this shit”)
Drift is kind of really awkwardly out of place at this party, because it’s way rowdier than things he enjoys. But somehow he and Arcee get to talking and they start discussing some of his captures and his mission to help rehabilitate wanted criminals and neither of them are bored or too out of place amongst the rest of the crowd.
The smalls are scurrying all over the place talking to everyone. Jetstorm goads Smokescreen and Wheeljack into playing video games with him and proceeds to kick their afts, while Slipstream wants to hear stories about the war from anyone who will share them. Both of them get into the high grade and have way more than their fair share and they wind up passing out in a tangle together somewhere.
Fixit gives anyone who’s interested a tour of the command center and the Alchemor, then spends a lot of time chitchatting with Ratchet about engineer and medic stuff.
Bumblebee -in between checking in on Pax and whomever is playing with him- manages to talk to everybody and winds up relaxed and happy.
And through it all, Optimus just talks quietly with everyone and observes – This is what he was fighting for, after all.
Okay so many of us agree that the miraculous wielder has something opposite about them that their miraculous balances out, right? So this has brought me to actually thinking about what my “dream team” of wielders would be, so here I go!
Ladybug: Marinette. Obviously. Her miraculous, being the one of good luck, balances out her bad luck (e.g. always being in Chloe’s class, clumsiness, etc.).
Cat Noir: Adrien. Again, the two obvious ones here. Adrien seems to have good luck, what with being rich and all, but that’s really just the surface of his life. However, it’s definitely enough to balance out his miraculous.
Jade Turtle (?): Nino. (@thelastpilot I love you turtle mother!!!) While I am TOTALLY on board the theory of the other five miraculouses being based off of the Chinese elements, I am going to use the actual turtle persona instead of the previous good/bad luck thing. Nino is a very young and “hip” person; we know he loves dancing and dj-ing. He can also be very headstrong, as seen when he gets akumatized. The patience and wisdom of a turtle would totally balance Nino out, and if you disagree go read The Weight of Jade by thelastpilot and you will be convinced I promise.
Volpina: Alya. Sorry not sorry, I really don’t like Lila. If you think she should get a redemption arc that ends with a miraculous, that’s fine, but I’m capping my dream team redemptions at one. Aya is very up-front about everything, and she is constantly trying to figure out the truth. The sneakiness of a fox would balance out her boldness, and the power of illusions (if that’s what the actual miraculous wielder would get) balances out her love of the truth perfectly.
Queen Bee (?): Chloe. Yeah, it’s very cliche. I’m actually still kind of on the fence about it, but now I’m coming around with this whole opposites/balancing things out thing. If Chloe could get a (well executed, I’m sure) redemption arc, then the bee miraculous actually does suit her. Not for the “Queen Bee” pun, but again for the balance. Chloe has been spoiled her whole life, never working for anything. Bees are super hard workers, and this balances her out beautifully. That, and bees are actually super nice until you piss them off, while Chloe is always pissed. Balance! These are the only reasons I hesitantly support Queen Bee! Chloe, because character design has nothing to do with the current canon heroes.
Peacock Superhero: Nathaneal. I’ve seen him paired with the fox miraculous before, and it’s super cute but I would still give that to Alya. No, in my dream team Nath gets the peacock miraculous. It fits him perfectly, because here is this really shy, quiet boy, and BOOM! He could become a peacock, super flamboyant and eye-catching. It is my personal opinion that Nathaneal deserves a miraculous, because he is probably the kindest person (from what we’ve seen) in this whole series. Even as an akuma, he’s just a little sweetheart. His disposition and the whole balancing thing work perfectly to give him a miraculous, peacock especially.
Okay, so that’s all six that are currently good/not in use… so what about after the eventual defeat of Hawk Moth?
Monarch (?): Prince Ali. Arguably one of the nicest characters alongside Rose and Nathaneal, Ali is another character who has a disposition fitting for a miraculous. Like Chloe, his name makes a great pun, but that’s not what we are looking for. Butterflies are changing creature, from a caterpillar to in-between-goo to a butterfly. Hawk Moth’s power is also to prey upon those with weak emotions. As a prince, Ali is already expected to be a “butterfly” when he could still be considered a caterpillar or even that goo in the chrysalis. His duties need him to be a veritable rock that doesn’t ever change, and with a stretch we can assume he is not supposed to reveal too many of his emotions. The moth/butterfly miraculous would be a great counterpart for Ali, and would give him an outlet for him to really help people, seeing as he is really passionate about that.
So, that is my dream team! Feel free to add anything if you so wish, I would love to hear what people think of this. My opinions probably won’t change, but I still enjoy hearing what other people’s dream teams are.