bee spit

Home Remedies from Wayfaring’s Patients

Disclaimer: These “remedies” are all things that my patients have admitted to trying. Some are completely useless, a few might actually be helpful, and others are potentially harmful. Do not consider the following remedies to be sound medical advice. Do not try this at home.

Got leg cramps at night? Try leaving a bar of soap under the sheets at the foot of the bed. Don’t forget to change out the soap or at least shave it down every few weeks / months to refresh it’s leg cramp curing powers.

For any sort of chest or nasal congestion, try a few drops of turpentine or kerosene on a sugar cube.

For sinus congestion, swallow a teaspoon of Vick’s Vapo-Rub.

Got the gout (pronounced thegouch around here)? Keep you a jar of raisins soaked in gin around the house. Take 9 (this is very specific) raisins a day.

Bowels plugged up? Baking soda and water’ll clear ‘em right out. 

Bee or wasp sting? Spit your chewing tobacco juice on it to kill the burn. For fire ant bites, use bleach. 

For acid reflux, try taking shots of cider vinegar. 

Still got some vinegar left over? Mix it with water and drink a glass to lower your blood pressure. Or maybe take another shot to fight the flu. Or a shot to cure hiccups. Or a shot gargled with salt to cure a sore throat. Or rub it on your legs to cure your aching varicose veins. Better buy the big bottle of vinegar at the Piggly Wiggly. Vinegar cures everything.

cultivate:

different shapes of breath
myriad vegetables
healthy bees with anti-
bacterial spit and wax
lip good but not talking
too much

fruit

patience
in service of presence
presented generous
on platters of genuine
satisfaction

offered and received
love

water
to yield
to absorb
life

motion
quiet
silence
dance
song
with beats

appreciation
skills and talent

rest and sleep
peace

acceptance