Like or reblog this post if you like any of the following:

  • Some grilled brats
  • A microbrew, chillin’ in a wet bar
  • Some warmed-up ziti
  • Triple-fried pizza dough
  • Some kinda frozen meatballs
  • A vegetable medley
  • A crudité
  • Lunchmeat (However much you can spare)
  • A pound and a half, two pounds of black forest ham
  • Maybe a Dijon mustard spread
  • Any kind of dessert
  • A German chocolate cake
  • Key Lime Pie, a la mode (ice cream on the side)
  • A bite of homemade ziti
  • Those hot mozzarella sticks (cubed up, put in some marinara sauce, on standby)
  • Some sour cream and onion
  • Ridged chips
Lemony Snicket's Formula for the Perfect Bedtime Story (03/2009)

Mr. Snicket reveals the five secrets behind tellling a riveting lights-out tale;

1. Ask your child what the title should be. This stalls for time and spreads the blame if the story’s no good.

2. Name the villains after people who wronged you in high school.

3. When you get stuck, remember Raymond Chandler’s advice: “When in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns.” The bedtime equivalent is a clumsy talking animal holding a tray of cream pies.

4. At the end of the story, all of the characters should be very, very tired.

5. Don’t bring your cocktail, because you might accidentally leave it and wake your child when you sneak back to retrieve it. Alternately, you may forget about it entirely and three days later someone will find a warm martini on your child’s dresser.
(Note: This has never, ever, ever happened to Mr. Snicket.)

And it went all night…

For more of my Cherik art, go to A Bit of Charles and Erik on AO3. I got all the chapters fixed. Thank you so much for reporting! If there’s any more missing, please do let me know so I can fix it for you. Much obliged!

For more of my other art, including the rough sketches of anything Cherik, go to A Mile of Paper


James McAvoy wishing good night is giving me an orgaSWEET DREAMS