bedroom shenanigans

Sexy Shenanigans!

Are you wondering what’s going on in SLB’s Chambers of the Divine Bride? Dare to take a peek through the peeping hole?!?

Nobunaga’s chamber: Business as usual

Nobunaga: “Shine the light lower and more to the left!”

Mitsuhide:“Yes, Milord.”

Nobunaga: “Higher!”

Mitsuhide: “Yes, Milord.”

Nobunaga: “Shut up!”

Mitsuhide: “As you wish, Milord!”

Nobunaga: *sigh*

Mitsuhide’s chamber: Mitsuhide’s (not so) secret switch

Nobunaga: “Why so hesitant? Want me to take over and show your woman what true pleasure is?”

Mitsuhide: “That is unacceptable! I will not allow you to touch my MC!” *desperately begins ravishing MC*

Nobunaga: *smirk* “That was too easy.”

Yukimura’s chamber: Big Lord/Little Lord

Saizo: *munch munch* Not bad, dear, keep on going… About time she got to see your ‘little lord’.

Yukimura: !!! *fierce blush* S-saizo!!!

Saizo’s chamber: Assassin’s skill

Yukimura: !!!… his hand on her … GAH!!! … mouth at her … Mrrrrgh!!! … tongue in her… Aaaah! *faints*

Masamune’s chamber: Baby dragon comes of age (not quite)

Kojuro: *sniff* *sniff* *sigh* *sniff* *sniff* *sigh*

Masamune: *long sigh*“Kojuro.”

Kojuro: “I’m sorry, Milord. It’s just… seeing you like this with MC- I am so happy. Ah, that reminds me of when you were little… *chuckle* When you felt lonely you’d always sneak into my bed at night and demand kisses and cuddles from me until you-”

Masamune: “K-Kojuro!!!”

MC: *giggles*

Masamune: “What have I ever done to you…” *buries blushing face in hands*

Kojuro’s chamber: Call him Daddy!

Masamune: “This feels awkward. It’s almost as if I’m watching my own father-”

Kojuro: “I’m not THAT old!!”

Shigezane: “Are too!”

Kojuro: “ I’m not- where did YOU come from?!?”

I suddenly remembered what Soleil tells you when milking cows and that somehow prompted me to draw this

The Chocobros want your Brownies

Okay I was in a super silly and ridiculous mood when I wrote this….
(Mostly fluff, but Gladio’s scenario got NSFW cause reasons)

Chocolate and Chocobros below the cut!

Keep reading

Saturday Nights

Originally posted by pietrosprintesa

Pietro x Reader

Author: Katy

Word Count: 1117

Warnings: some kissing, nothing descriptive, some implied bedroom shenanigans

Request: If you have time, can I request a reader x Pietro where they both get drunk and Pietro admits he likes her and/or they sleep together.? But then the reader sneaks away because she also likes him but thinks it was because he was drunk and she is just a one-night stand to him. Maybe he tracks her down after? Thanks so much Love x

A/N: Hey there, so I’m finally getting into writing again so hopefully we’ll be posting more often! I really enjoyed writing this one, especially because I just love Pietro! Hope y’all like it!

It was Saturday night, which meant party time at Avengers Tower. Tony usually had everyone invite close friends and invited some celebrity friends of his own. You enjoyed these get togethers. Nice music always filled the building and conversation with people was often quite entertaining. A memorable moment would be when a karaoke machine was brought and many Avengers broke out into a horrendous version of “YMCA”. Another time, a conga line was formed and ended in a few vomiting individuals. Alcohol was usually the cause of these hilarious scenarios. But alcohol also created some extremely embarrassing, or unlikely situations. Tonight would turn out to be one of those nights to remember. 

You sat at the bar alone, sipping some random, mediocre alcoholic beverage. You gazed down at your phone, trying not to look too awkward.

“Mind if I join you?” a accented voice pulled you from your device.

“Of course not, sit down, please. I’m dying to end my boredom,” you faked a desperate voice. Pietro, who now sat next to you, chuckled.

“I’d say this hasn’t been one of Tony’s best parties,” Pietro commented, “but the excessive drinking never seems to disappoint in embarrassing at least a few people.” you laughed, he had a point.

“I strongly agree, do you remember that one time you got so into “I’m Sexy and I Know It” that you started taking off your clothes?” Pietro burst out into booming laughter, “and then we had to have Steve basically tackle you to the ground to get you to stop?” you remember every second of that night. It was when the karaoke machine was set up. No one could stop laughing at Pietro’s wild singing, they also hadn’t seen the little strip show coming. Your eyes had been glued to your crush the entire performance. When things got out of hand and Pietro’s clothes were flying off, a few people began attempting to stop him, but Steve eventually had to wrestle him to get him to stop. That’s the night everyone discovered drunk Pietro could get a little frisky.

“Okay, okay we don’t need anymore details of that party,” Pietro finally gained control of his laughing to speak, “I wonder what would happen if I got that drunk again…?”

“Ooooh, now that would be funny to watch!”

“Then let’s do this! But you have to do it too” Pietro called the barista over and order a few drinks for the two of you. Your mind told you this was a bad idea. Getting drunk with the guy you had a major crush on? Definitely not something you’d usually do… but you only live once, right?

After several drinks you and Pietro were dying of laughter, probably caused by a stupid joke. The laughter died down and you were both quiet now. You looked into Pietro’s beautiful eyes, and for what felt like the first time, he looked into yours with the same intensity. There was tension building between the pair of you and no one else was around to break it.

“Y/N, would you like to take this somewhere a little more private?” he spoke softly.

“Yes, I would.” you followed him down the hallway, even in this drunken state you were pretty sure you knew what was about to happen.

You’re eyelids fluttered open to an unfamiliar ceiling fan hanging above. An involuntary yawn left your mouth and you stretched your body. As your body moved around in the bed you lay in, you realized that you were fully naked. You jumped a little, surprised and confused of why you weren’t in your bed in pajamas. A massive headache pulsed in your head. You turned to look around and was that… Pietro? A sleeping shirtless mass of a man lay in the bed next to you. You rubbed your eyes, were you just imagining this? Your memories from last night started flooding back. You panicked. Pietro was drunk when this had happened, you both were, it had been a mistake. The easiest way to avoid any awkwardness would be to leave now. You swung out of bed and quietly retrieved your clothes, strewn across Pietro’s bedroom floor. Tip-toeing out of the room, you quickly found your way to your own room.

You had decided an intense training session would help your hangover. Finding your way to the training room you worked on some of your offensive moves. Punching, kicking, elbowing, and kneeing the bag helped relieve some of the hangover symptoms, but it also gave you some time to think about what had happened with Pietro. You had a crush on him, that was a fact. He had slept with you, yeah pretty sure that happened. He returned the feelings you had for him… well that remains undecided. You continued with your reps, letting your emotions out into the work out. Totally focused on the moves, you didn’t notice when someone else entered the training room. The sound of the door clanging closed caused you to spin around. Oh no. It was Pietro.

“Y/N, when I woke up I thought maybe last night had all been a dream,” he sounded almost sad, but it must just be confusion.

“Well, it wasn’t, but it was a mistake.”

“That’s how you see it?” okay that must be some sadness in his eyes.

“You were drunk, I was drunk, we weren’t thinking,” you felt like crying. You wanted to tell him how you really felt but he would never feel the same. You couldn’t tell him and then be rejected. He didn’t reply he just kept staring with a furrowed brow. That strong gaze seemed to be pulling the truth from you, “listen, to me it wasn’t a mistake. But to you, it probably was. So how about we just forget this ever happened. You can move on… which I’m sure will happen quickly.”

“What if I don’t want to forget? What if this wasn’t a mistake?” his words surprised you. He must be kidding or somehow messing with you. “Y/N, I really like you. I have for a while, but you are just so beautiful and talented and put me to shame in so many ways. I thought you would never return the feelings I had for you.” tears welled up in your eyes, this couldn’t be happening…

“Pietro, but I do,” in the blink of an eye Pietro was right in front of you. His eyes looked into yours, just like how they had last evening when there was no one else there. His hand came up to lift your chin. The Sokovian boy pulled you in for the most wonderful sober kiss you had experienced.


@rxchelpxng @geesshoku

anonymous asked:

I wish you would write a fic where reader and Bucky argue all the time and think the other hates them until they get stuck in a lift in a powercut at stark tower and then they figure out they like each other and make out and/or fuck in the lift.

(So I only did it for a couple, but yeah) 

Originally posted by bovaria

Bucky still has an issue with being touched, no matter how long the two of you have been together. He doesn’t like drawing much attention to himself, so PDA is generally out of the question. But, that doesn’t mean he’s not a fan of cuddles. 

They just happen at certain times. Like sleepy Sunday morning cuddles, when the sunlight is peeking through the curtains and the bed is too warm and cosy to even consider getting out of. He’ll curl around your body like a vine, pulling you close and tangling your legs until you’re almost one in the same. 

When he wakes, his hair sticking up in random places, he’s the most adorable you’ve ever seen him. Then, there’s after-sex cuddles. Such intimacy means he never really wants to let you go. He’ll lie you across his body, your head on his chest, so he can gently soothe your hair and you can listen to his slowing heartbeat. 

To Bucky, cuddling is the most intimate the two of you can be, and for him it’s a kind of validation. A reminder that there’s someone to ground him.

Originally posted by imagine-that-marvel

Steve, though uncomfortable in most PG-13 + situations, adores cuddling. Now that he’s finally large enough to be the big spoon, he will never not agree to cuddle with you. 

Whether it’s on the couch under a blanket, your head on his lap or his shoulder while you binge watch a TV show together, or in the back of a movie theatre watching a crappy film, pausing in-between half paying attention to makeout like teenagers. He always wants you in his arms, no matter what. 

Most importantly, however, his favourite types of cuddles with you are the ones after he comes back from a mission. Usually late at night, you’ll be waiting up for him. 

He’ll kiss you softly, gently coaxing you to bed and making love to you with the tender gentleness of a practiced man, then hold you tightly in his arms. A kiss is pressed to your shoulder, and he’ll whisper how much he loves you, quiet and only meant for you.

Originally posted by love-buckybarnes

Lance admittedly is not much for cuddling. Usually when it comes to bedroom shenanigans, he’s in and out and asleep within a good ten minutes, as sad as it may sound. 

But, when he’s with a person that he genuinely cares about- even though they are far and few between- he can’t help but want to continuously be around you. 

He turns into the super boyfriend when he’s properly smitten; breakfast in bed, flowers brought to you when he takes you out on dates, and of course, cuddles. Continuously, he wakes up from sleep with you wrapped inside his arms, no matter what position the pair of you had started sleeping in. And he can’t help but love it.

Originally posted by love-buckybarnes

Chris was devoid of touch for a long time being up on Ares III, so he takes everything he can get when he’s back at home. Cuddles don’t happen in space, not even at the worst moments. 

With a wife and a little boy to care for, he gets double the share of cuddles whenever he chooses. His favourites, without a doubt, are when their son wakes up early in the morning. Granted, his timings have never been quite on schedule with what Chris would have wanted, but can always tell when his son is awake. 

Whether it’s the patter of feet around his bedroom, or the sound of something falling (much like his father, he’s ridiculously clumsy). Leaving his lovely wife to sleep in, Chris gets his son and the pair of them go down and make breakfast for Mommy. Flowers and all. 

They bring it all up on a tray, their son leaping up onto the bed first and snuggling under the covers like a monster until his head pops up on the other side and he wriggles right into his mom’s arms. And they spend the morning eating a slow breakfast and watching cartoons. Just like they did when they were kids.

Imagine Chris being a child whisperer.

A/N: Part 2, yay! I’ll link Part 1 here, and the first part of the series here(I just need to get to my MacBook first, I’m on my iPad and it’s difficult to link things here. Sorry, but I’ll get to it.)

You got through Christmas shopping and dinner without a hitch, Phoebe was surprisingly still bubbly and unaware of her parents’ absence thanks to your child whisperer of a husband. He was now tucking her into bed in the mock nursery that the two of you had set up a couple days before; it was going to be a proper nursery for your future child one day, just not today.

You looked up from your laptop when you heard footsteps. “What?” You chuckled when Chris leaned against the doorframe, smiling like a lovesick idiot. He shook his head and walked over, placing the baby monitor down on his bedside table and climbing into his side of the bed. You saved your latest script and turned off your MacBook, putting it back into its case and on your bedside table. “How is she?” You asked, turning your attention on Chris who was planting light kisses on your shoulder.

“She’s perfect.” His lips moved to your neck and his words sent vibrations into your skin. “I told you she wouldn’t be a problem.” You felt him smirk and you rolled your eyes. “Guess you were wrong and I was right,” he drew back; the smug gleam visible in his eyes. “I hope you’re true to your word, Y/N.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Back at the mall, you said get through this week and we’ll see.” He reminded you and you felt your stomach flutter nervously. “I think the week’s going to be a smooth sail and I’m going to be a dad soon,” he pressed his lips against your shoulder again.


“No no no.” He chuckled softly, hooking his arm around your waist and pulling you into him. “We’re not going to do this again,” he shook his head, smiling. “I know you’re scared but there’s nothing to be scared of. We’re going to nail this parent thing, Y/N. Look at how well we handled Phoebe today, we’re good at this.”

“It’s only been a day, Chris,” you reminded him. “And- you’re good at this, I’m not.” He tried to defend you from you but you didn’t give him a chance. “I’ve just never been a kid person, okay? I love my nieces and nephews but- I can always return them to their parents when I don’t know what to do with them. Having a kid is different, having a kid is like-” You cut yourself off, huffing exasperatedly. “It’s a lot of responsibility and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

“Marriage is a lot of responsibility, you did that and you’re nailing it.” He said and you sighed. “Honey,” he caressed your face in his hand, stroking your cheek soothingly. “You’re just scared because it’s a new experience and you don’t do well with change. But you won’t be doing it alone, you’ve got me. If things get too much, you can pass on our child to me. I will do everything I can to help you because we’re a team.”

“I love you,” you told him, “and I want this for you-”

“I don’t want you to want it for me, sweetheart.” He shook his head with a small smile. “Having a kid is- it’s huge and I don’t want you to feel like you didn’t have a choice in the matter. You need to want to have kids, I want you to want it- to be ready. I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, you are what’s important to me. Yes, I want kids but- I want you more.”

“I will have kids eventually, Chris.” You assured him. “I told you I’d have as many kids as you want me to have and I meant it, I just- I need a little more time to process my feelings.” You told him and he nodded understandingly. “I love you,” you said and he smiled, pecking you on the lips. “I’m going to make you a dad, just- not tonight,” you chuckled.

“Fine by me,” he chuckled. “But…” He trailed off, his hands suggestively ran up and down your thigh. “We can still make love without making me a dad.” You giggled and pressed your lips against his. “Mm…” He hummed as you rolled on top of him; his hands moved to your back, pressing your body flush against his. “You’re beautiful,” he told you when you broke the kiss. “And I am just the luckiest-” He was cut off by the sound of Phoebe’s cries.

“Hm.” You pressed your lips together, suppressing the urge to smile. “I wonder what she wants.” You began and Chris chuckled with a shake of his head. “We can continue this when you get back,” you told him and rolled off him. “If,” you emphasized smugly, watching as he flipped the cover off him and rolled out of bed, “you get back.”

“You best watch yourself,” he warned teasingly as Phoebe’s cries got louder. “I’m coming, Bumble Bee.” He called out, wincing; he hurried his footsteps and rushed down the hall and into her nursery. You could hear their interaction through the monitor; her cries softened when he picked her up. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? It’s okay,” he cooed, bouncing her gently. “I’m right here, there’s nothing to be scared of.”

You smiled and reached for the monitor, picking it up and holding it closer to your ear. If only your brother invested in one of those monitors with a camera so you could watch how adorable your husband was being with your niece. You heard Chris humming softly, it took you no less than fifteen seconds to realize he was humming ‘A Whole New World’; the two of you believed Disney was a solution to everything. When you fought, he’d or you’d just have to turn on a Disney movie and everything will go back to normal; there was no resisting watching a Disney classic and talking about it with the love of your life.

“Goodnight, Bumble Bee.” You heard Chris whisper as he lowered her back into her cot. “Sweet dreams.” He kissed her small forehead then made his way back to you with a proud grin on his face. “See, easy.” He said and climbed back into bed. “Now where were we?”

You were definitely impressed by how quickly it took him to soothe her, in no time at all the two of you were making out like a couple of love sick teenagers. But then before anything else could happen, Phoebe would start crying again and Chris would have to leave you to attend to her. It happened so often that it bothered Dodger who came upstairs, whining. It was after the fourth time that the two of you gave up on your intended bedroom shenanigans and just laid there waiting for her to cry again.

“I think she’s done,” you whispered as though you were afraid you’d wake the child two rooms down. Chris picked up the monitor and held it against his ear, nodding when silence was all that came through. “Oh thank God,” you let out a sigh of relief and rested your head against his chest. “It would’ve been a very long night if she didn’t stop.”

“It would’ve been a very long night if she didn’t start,” he teased, kissing the top of your head. “But I guess that’s what happens when you have kids.” You heard a slight weariness in his tone and you looked up with a raised brow. “Kids are still awesome and I definitely want them,” he quickly said and you chuckled, readjusting back to your original position. “I just- there will be things I’m going to miss once we have kids.”

“Sex,” you said for him and he chuckled.

“If we’re going to split hairs,” he mumbled into your hair. “Do you think we can be really quiet?” He whispered and you chuckled softly. “She’s asleep and I’m still wide awake, I could use with my own lullaby.” He spoke suggestively and you smiled, pulling away from the cuddling to give him his lullaby. “You are the best wi-” He was cut off when Phoebe’s cries came through; Dodger whined and Chris groaned loudly, making you laugh. “Why are you doing this? I’ve been nothing but good to you, Bumble Bee.” He groaned, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“I’ll go,” you offered and rolled off him, but he stopped you and shook his head.

“No, I’ll go.” He flipped the covers off him and sat up, turning and planting his feet on the ground. “I swear-” he glanced back at you, running his hands through his hair. “It’s like she’s doing it just to fuck with me so I can’t with you.” You chuckled, rubbing his arm with a sympathetic pout. “Your brother always wanted two, do you think that’s why they went away? So they can have some alone time to make another? 'Cause there’s no way they get anything done with her around.”

“I’m sensing some resentment,” you teased, “would you like to listen to the recording from earlier?”

“Hilarious,” he bit sarcastically and you chuckled. Phoebe’s cries got louder with each passing second, making both you and Chris wince. “You know what, I’m just going to sleep in there.” He grabbed his pillow and padded out of the room, Dodger right behind him. You followed them, standing by the door as Dodger settled by the cot and Chris lifted Phoebe into his arms; she stopped crying immediately.

“Wow,” you chuckled in disbelief.

“I defended you against your aunt when she called you a little monster, so why are you doing this to me?” Chris asked. She answered by wrapping her tiny arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. “Of course,” Chris chuckled softly, smiling when he turned around to see you.

“She feels safer with Captain America,” you walked over to him, gently stroking her tiny head. “Guess she’s a lot like her aunt in that way.” You smiled at him then kissed the top of Phoebe’s head. “Are you going to be okay sleeping in here? We can just bring her into our room, that way you’ll have something better than the floor to sleep on.”

“No,” he shook his head. “You need your sleep, you’ve got that script to finish and- your brother said we should familiarize her with one room. Just go to bed,” he kissed your forehead. “I’ll be fine, I’ve got Dodger and Phoebe to keep me company. It’s only week, plus- I’ve slept on my fair share of floors while filming.”

“Alright then,” you kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you three in the morning.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He smiled at you and you blew him a kiss as you made your way out. You smiled the entire walk back to your room because he was unknowingly chipping away at your uncertainty. You knew he was going to be an amazing father, you’d always known that. You weren’t hesitating because of him, you were hesitating because you were afraid of change. But seeing him in action, being a dad- it gave you a glimpse of what to expect; it was preparing you for parenthood like Chris had wanted it to. You couldn’t promise him anything yet but there was a chance that by the end of the week, you’d be on the exact same page as him.

Tagging: @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 (Tags are still open, inbox me if you want to be tagged) Part 3 will be up soon, just gotta write it first. is up up up.

LOTR/The Hobbit Fic Rec List

Okay so here is list number 2 of the Fic Rec Day. This Has many different pairings but they are all clearly labeled. Longest list by far and I may add a few more later :) one more to go after this.   


From One Age to Another by determamfidd
Words: 12,118
Upon their return to Eryn Lasgalen and Erebor respectively, Legolas and Gimli each have a new adornment. Their fathers would like an explanation.

Rec: Gimli and Legolas fall in love and to prove their commitment tattoo each others names over their hearts. Unapprovingly fathers run rampant but everything works out in the end. This story has great charterization of Gimli, Legolas, Thranduil and Gloin. It also does a wonderful job of showing the home life of both main characters.  

An Unlikely Bond by  Frodo_sHeart
Words: 26,540
This is the story of Legolas, an Elf who has never found his fated Guide, and who dares to go on a quest as an unbonded Sentinel with companions of three other races who don’t have Guides and Sentinels. Or do they? Legolas finds himself increasingly confused about his reactions to the proximity of one red-headed Dwarf.

Rec: A Sentinel AU going through the quest of the ring. This fic is a nice slow burn. They start out disliking each other, become friends, a guide sentinel pair, bond and then finally confess their love after a lot of misunderstanding. Even though it sticks right to the original plot it’s a new and interesting look at a well known story.

Minor Confusion by  Evandar
Words: 1,717
He had thought his dwarf was a male. Apparently he was wrong…

Rec: Short, sweet and funny. Legolas thinks Gimli is a man, Gimli thinks Legolas is a woman. The first time they see each other naked is eye opening. 


From A Single Spark by  @thorinsmut
Words: 15,525
Lindir accidentally sees two of the Dwarves having sex when they visit Rivendell.
Having only been exposed to gentle, affectionate sex before, he is unprepared for how rough it is, and how erotic he finds that.
Luckily, Istion is a bit of an expert at rough sex.

Rec: It might be the only story with this pairing but boy is it worth the read even if you don’t know the characters as well. Hot, fun and a look into eleven sexuality. Read it :) 


Hide Me! by  Drappersky
Words: 1,115
A late night visit leads to way more than Bard or even Thranduil expects.

Rec: Thranduil and Bard are friends after the BoFA. Bard runs away from his advisors hiding in Tharandul’s bedroom. Shenanigans go down and feelings are realized.

Forget Me Not by  LittleLynn
Words: 33,458
Bard had no idea if he was cursed or blessed. Maybe some strange mix of the two.
All he knew was that he remembered each life clear as day, and Thranduil did not.
He could count their lives like a broken-hearted girl with a flower might do; he loves me, he loves me not.
He loves me, then he loves me not.

Rec: Reincarnation AU. Bard can remember every life, Thranduil can’t. Sad, happy, conflict and always finding your love. It’ s a roller-coaster ride just hang on there’s a happy ending :)

A Thousand Ways To Fall In Love by  LittleLynn
Words: 266,651
Each chapter will be a stand alone story (they will vary in rating too, I will put it in the notes at the beginning of the chapter)

Rec: If you like Barduil then there is something in this compilation for you. This has anything you can thing of for Bard and Thranduil as a pairing and there all well written. Jump in the waters great :)

Thanks for the Memories Vol. I by bereniceofdale
Words: 2,764
Prompt: “Person B making a deal to save Person A’s life at the cost of all their memories together.”

Rec: Thranduil is going to die and Bard sacrifices their memories to keep him alive. Sad, rip your heart out sad, but there are two more chapters and one makes it better, the other stomps on you till you cry.

Soothsayer by Piyo13
Words: 31,483
Bard Bowman, single father of three and human (and secret soothsayer), needs a job. He applies for a position at Greenwood & Co., one he’s sure he won’t get—except then he does. Thranduil Oropherion, elven single father and CEO of Greenwood & Co., puts out a job ad that in all honesty can’t really be fulfilled. Except then the perfect candidate shows up, and Thranduil hires him without second thought.

Rec: WIP Science and technology are mixed with magic in this business AU. Set in the future elves, men and dwarves still exist pretty much separately but Bard finds a job working for Thranduil as his personal soothsayer. It is a very fun combination of future and past.


Morning Sickness by  smidget25
Words: 27,669
While on a diplomatic meeting in Erebor, the dwarves can tell something is off with Thranduil, he’s not the usual haughty jerk, instead he looks a bit worn and tired and just plain sad. Then, out of nowhere, Thranduil cries out in pain and collapses. He’s rushed to the healers where everyone is stunned to find out that the Elven King is in labour…

Rec: I find Thranduil and Thorin together a little odd but this story made it very believable. I think everyone is a little OOC but it is a great fic. Thranduil is vulnerable, Thorin is kind and Bard is a dick.


Unexpected by  theduskysky
Words: 88,347
Yavanna has laid her blessing on Bilbo. He’s unexpectedly expecting.

Rec: WIP but it’s fairly far along and updated regularly. Slow burn, everyone lives, Mpreg. Blibo is banished but ends up staying in Dale instead of going home, when he finds out he is pregnant. The dwarves find him and bring him back to the mountain. Apologizes are made, Bilbo and Thorin dance around there love for each other and a baby grows.

The Good Earth by The Feels Whale (miscellea)
Words: 28,790
Bilbo Baggins arrived home late one afternoon in the middle of the week and the entire west Farthing is still talking about it.
Poor Mister Baggins. He was doomed to be a nine-days wonder no matter what and is it any wonder after a year-long adventure? Even the Tooks haven’t the influence to hush that up, but Mad Baggins seems to have managed to silence every tongue in the Shire on that subject which would be awe-inspiring …if not for the way he decided to go about it.
OR: That one where Middle Earth seems to be unclear about where baby Hobbits come from.

Rec: Babies, so many missunderstandings and a loving dwarf family. Bilbo thinks Thorin is dead so he goes home and grows himself some baby dwarf/hobbits.


Touch by  @thorinsmut
Words: 74,778
Dwalin is a killer, the most feared guard in the refugee settlement of New Belegost.
Nori was taken from his family and raised to be a thief. He is rarely caught.
Torture is the standard criminal interrogation technique.
Only Dwalin knows how to make Nori talk, and it isn’t violence.
When they both join Thorin’s quest they find out more about themselves, about each other, and might just find what they need most.

Rec: Nori and Dwalin have an odd relationship before the quest and it only evolves as they get to know each other better. Touch starved Nori and gentle giant Dwalin.


In the Course of Time by  nanuk_dain
Words: 57,363
Take it Haldir did neither die nor get seriously injured in the Battle of Helm’s Deep and joined the Men of Rohan with his Elven archers for the battle for Gondor. In Éomer, he finds a leader equally strong headed as he is himself.

Rec: There are not enough stories with this pairing. I love them together they are both so strong and independent, yet end up complimenting each other so well. This is a great fic with a extra chapter illustrating their lives after the war ends.

Bond of Honor by  Meri
Words: 24,494
Haldir survives the battle at Helm’s Deep and is healed by a bond with Éomer

Rec: Fist story with this pairing I read. I know it’s been reced other places but there is a reason. Amazing read with a forced proximity bond. They clash, they fight and they fall in love.   

tsarvictor  asked:

could you talk about virgin!dean having his first time with benny??? idk if you do hs age so maybe college!denny if that makes you more comfortable :) please and thank you!!!

(hey for my comfort level I will be writing college age dean thanks and sorry this ended up more sweet than sexy)

Dean loved many things about Benny, but high among them was that at five years older, Benny was finished with school and had enough money to have an apartment with no roommates. It was a shoebox, but didn’t smell and didn’t have negotiated shower time. And Benny had a memory foam mattress and let Dean have a drawer just for incidentals.

Everytime he spent the night at Benny’s, the guys in his house always whistled and said something nasty and Dean always had an answer. He didn’t mention that he had googled trash talk, just so he wouldn’t be caught out saying something dumb and showed his lack of personal knowledge.

Dean went over to Benny’s and smiled. Benny had candles lit, pizza on real plates, and Lord of the Rings on. “You are rather good at this dating thing.”

“You aren’t exactly high maintenance.” Benny replied. “Oooh I gave up mushrooms on my pizza, the horror.”

Dean sat on the couch and picked up a plate. “You even got nice beer.” He paused. “Oh shit, is it an anniversary or something?”

“No, I’m off probation at my job, got me a 1.50 an hour raise, thought we should celebrate.” Benny said.

Dean leaned over and kissed him. “That definitely deserves the nice beer.”

They ate and watched the movie, Dean doing all of Aragorn’s dialogue and prodding Benny to do Gimli, and Dean put down his plate and snuggled into Benny. “Hey babe?”

“Yeah?” Benny asked.

Dean took a breath. “Wanna fuck?”

Benny put his beer down carefully and moved to look at Dean, who couldn’t quite make eye contact. “Dean, babe, you know I’m happy waiting.”

“Yeah, I know that, but I kind of want to fuck.” Dean said, still not quite looking at Benny.

“How about you say that while actually looking at me.” Benny kissed him gently.

“Yeah, but it’s just -”

“Just what?” Benny was patient.

“Just what the hell do we call it, because fuck sounds too nasty, sex almost clinical, shoot me if I ever say make love, and I’ll shoot you if you say bump uglies, because I’ve seen your junk and it ain’t ugly.” Dean rambled.

Benny adored his boyfriend.

“I suppose we could call it Benny and Dean’s super sexy bedroom shenanigans?”

Dean burst out laughing. He collapsed onto Benny he was laughing so hard. “This is why I know you are right for me, laughing. Laughing about sex is good.”

“It is.” Benny agreed. He kissed Dean gently. “You ready for sex Dean? You want this?”

“So damn much Benny.” Dean replied. “You always make me feel good when we’ve fooled around and I just want more. I want everything.”

“Everything does sound good.” Benny kissed Dean’s neck, on Dean’s favourite spot. Dean squirmed. “You are so fucking sexy Dean.”

“You’re pretty swell too.” Dean groaned. “Jesus at least I didn’t call you ginchy.”

Benny kissed his neck again. “Call me whatever you want.”



“Cool, let’s go get me deflowered then.” Dean said with a grin. “Been reading me some books about this, should be fun.”

“Dean, book porn is like movie porn, not quite based in reality.”

Dean thought about it. “You mean that you don’t have a monster cock that even without enough lube will make me feel amazing the first time as I beg you for harder? And I am ready for three rounds my first night? I am shocked and appalled.”

Benny stood and hauled Dean up and over his shoulder. “Let the shenanigans begin.” He said with a swat against Dean’s ass.

“Oooh, you should also demand I come untouched. That seemed big in what I read.” Dean said.

“I’ll gag you.” Benny warned.

“We’ll save that for next time.”

Another 2012 sketch featuring characters from Empowered, my ongoing “sexy superhero comedy” series published by Dark Horse Comics.

A bit of background: As addressed in the comic once or twice, our heroine Emp and her boyfriend are prone to cosplay-enhanced bedroom shenanigans in which they dress up (however temporarily) as “Sexy Librarian” and “Sexy Spartan,” respectively. Stick-in-the-mud Thugboy, however, would never possibly acquiesce to a pleading Emp’s request to theoretically switch costumes—except in a wacky, out-of-continuity, “imaginary sketch”(?) like this! Huzzah!

how did this webcomic that started with a cute lil dude standing in his bedroom laughing about cake shenanigans turn into bad claymation of half an evil clown, a buff horse ghost, and an annoying skelton god having their souls sucked into a creepy puppet body for possible eternity 

“Babydoll” is an endearment that nearly all of the Avengers have come to dread.

(Try to guess which of them just smirk or giggle when they hear it.)

When Bucky uses it on Steve, it inevitably leads to Things That Destroy Our Childhoods™ - Tony Stark, the deployment of all Codes (Red, Blue, Blackout - I don’t care, just RUN FOR YOUR SANITY), and … and …

Yes, Sam, we know that it makes Steve Very Happy after being Very Sad for far too long.  Steve is happy and he’s getting laid and it’s really LOUD and we have yet to invent the Brain Bleach™ that will help us forget all that.

Natasha, we did NOT need to know more Super Soldier Boyfriend Bedroom Shenanigans in WWII™.




Steeb and Bucko Facts, The Blanket Fort Headcanon

(Just call me Darcy!)

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong girl.

So I started talking to this girl a few months ago and I really liked her, she was almost perfect to me (she liked Twilight, but everyone has their imperfections).

Last monday we met up and spent the day together, we even went to see the new James Bond movie - if you’re wondering it’s amazing. So it came to that evening and we went back to hers and as soon as we got through her front door we were making out, we got to her bedroom and things happened, bedroom shenanigans. It was amazingly stimulating, personally the best I’ve ever had it. When we’re done we both laid down and I was tired, I was about to drop off to sleep when she turned to me and said “You’d better leave, my boyfriend will be home soon”..

WAIT WHAT?!… That’s right, she had hidden that she had a boyfriend for months while she flirted with me and suddenly I’m the villain. I’m still in shock.

Follow TIFU: Your daily dose of the BEST fucked up stories. | (cr)
(fic) the next level

warnings: awkward bedroom shenanigans

Levi closes his eyes briefly, then reopens them, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

We’re going to have sex.

Judging by the look on Eren’s face, there’s an incredibly high chance Levi has just said that out loud.

This is a continuation of a series of drabbles that feature an extremely awkward Levi attempting to court Eren. This pornpart was requested by mitsucchi! I hope you feel better ;A;! [Part 1 / 2 / 3]

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30 Day Anime Challenge

Day 7 - Your Anime Crush

And now we return to Ouran High School Host Club, with the gentleman of my preference, Hitachiin Kaoru.

It is with much regret that I say this: the twins need more attention as individuals, goddammit.

Believe it or not, while the twins have claimed otherwise, Kaoru generally has his hair parted to the right, and Hikaru to the left. So personality differences aside, they’re pretty easy to tell apart.

In terms of personality, though, I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed if you’ve seen the show. Kaoru is much more thoughtful; he ponders, he worries, he thinks ahead… Generally, he’s more emotionally mature than his temperamental brother.

I actually am not attracted to what most people see in the Hitachiin brothers; that is, I don’t want to see them participating in incestuous bedroom shenanigans. That’s… not my thing.

But getting down to the point, he’s silly, he’s fun, and he’s extremely fascinating. So I’ll admit it; Hitachiin Kaoru is hot as Hell.

(P.S. Hikaru is not my type, this is a post about Kaoru.)