becoming youtube panel

VidCon Meeting: Jack Howard Imagine

VidCon is probably the best and worst thing. The best thing about it was seeing every single youtuber you’ve ever watched or met since you’ve started your channel. You all hung out in groups, going to eat and going to Disney. You made vlogs and videos with each other. You personally called it ‘Collab Season’. You loved coming to the hotel that first day and running into people you hadn’t seen in ages: Louise, Zoey, Alife, Louis, Dan, Phil, and Tyler too. You also loved the chance to meet your subscribers, who all had nothing to say but lovely things as they took pictures and asked you to sign things for them.

The worst thing was the crowds. You absolutely hated crowds. And every morning when you came downstairs for the free hotel breakfast, there would be crowds of people wanting to meet their favorite youtubers outside of the panels and meet ups scheduled. The people were even right in the hallways, since they somehow found out where they were all staying. You wished they hadn’t. You enjoyed your privacy and not to mention not having to wade through crowds of people. It made you nervous slightly.

You found yourself wading through the same crowd on your way to a 'Becoming Youtube Panel’. Ben asked you to be in the panel along with Lex, Tom, Jack and Finn, and Jack and Dean. You’d met all but two: Jack and Dean. You don’t know how since Louise was good friends with them and you were good friends with Louise. Regardless, after signing autographs and taking pictures to get through the crowd to the door, you walked into the backroom behind the stage. Apparently, you arrived a little early, so you’d be stuck waiting until the panel before you ended.

“Y/N!” Ben smiled at you. He hadn’t changed one bit. Bright red hair, piercings and draped in black, he hugged you tightly. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“That’s your fault!” You asked as you hugged. “You just interviewed me and then never called back! I waited, Ben. I waited!”

“You see, about that,” He said, going along with your joke, rubbing the back of his head, “I just got caught up with work. It’s not you, it’s me. I can’t love someone until I love myself. You make me wanna be a better person….What’s that last one?”

“That he was too busy having mind-blowing interviews with me to care,” A stocky, blonde haired man came up beside Ben and claped him on the shoulder. “Sorry love, but it’s just…you guys drifted apart and he started looking around for other things, and he, um, he found me…essentially…”

“About that Jack…I think we should start interviewing other people,” Ben said to him. “It’s not you it’s me. I can’t love someone until I love myself. You make me wanna-”

“-Oh shut it!” Jack said, laughing along with you and Ben.

“Alright, Y/N, this is Jack from JackandDean. Jack this is Y/N from Your/Youtube/Channel”

“Yeah I remember. I watch your stuff all the time.”

You blushed slightly. He watched your videos? You liked the idea of him watching you. “In a totally sexual manner, by the way,” Ben added, “I watch him sit there and drool over you.” He laughed when Jack hit his shoulder playfully. “I’ll leave you two to cry over me. I wish it’d worked out better.”

“Just leave!” Jack said in fake tears. “I don’t think I can interview anyone the same again!”

You laughed as you watched Ben leave. “But seriously though, I really like your videos. They’re really funny and creative.”

“Yours too. My favorite is when every time you pan to Dean, he’s wearing something different.”

He remembered the video. The two of you talked for a while about YouTube and your channels before you started talking about more personal things. Every now and then somebody else jumped in, but for the most part, you and Jack sort of kept to yourselves. It’s like you’d escaped into this little world of your own where nothing made sense and everything was funny. You couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous his eyes were.

The panel eventually started. You sat with the others and answered questions about your channels, your opinions on certain issues in YouTube, took no sides when Lex and Ben started their spat about women on YouTube. You pointed out that they were both talking about separate things and meeting nowhere. Lex was for the make-up gurus that Ben supposedly bashed in his video, and Ben was talking about how girls don’t have to be make-up gurus to be popular on YouTube. You said that nobody really had a say in what’s good content and what’s bad content, since everyone starts off doing shitty stuff before they find a foothold. You told them to agree to disagree before you all spent the next 45 minutes listening to the argument; you urged Luke to ask another question.

At the end of the panel, everyone went their separate ways, but Ben pulled you along with him, Tom, Luke, Jack and Dean for lunch with others. You found yourself sitting right next to Jack…your not sure if this was Ben’s doing, Dean’s doing, or fate. You liked talking with Jack. You liked being in his company. He made you feel comfortable and free to be yourself.

“So, Y/N,” He said as you all ended up back in the hotel later that day, “I got a signing with Dean, but I thought…I thought…Tonight’s that big Playlist party dance thing they have and…and I thought maybe we could like go together or something?”

You smiled. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

He seemed stunned a second that you said 'yes’, but then snapped out of it. “Great! That’s great.” You set up a time for you two to meet up, and he left.

You watched him leave, your heart racing in your chest. That’s when you noticed Ben standing beside you, giving you a sly smirk. You giggled, “What?”

“Nothing, just happy to see you two managed to move on…Now you can interview each other all you like.”

“Oh Ben!”

He laughed as you playfully smacked his arm, the two of you leaving towards your hotel rooms. You had a date to get ready for….Time to call Louise.

-For lauratribute <3 I’ve never done a Jack imagine before, so I hope this was good!

Becoming youtube panel, SitC edition (This is my last rant. I think)

Catching up on what I’ve missed of SitC, more specifically the Becoming Youtube panel. And I find it interesting how Ben starts out being a lot more careful with his words regarding the gender gap question this time (in relation to the BY panel on Vidcon and its aftermath). It’s almost as if he’s listened to people who tired to get across that he as a male should not stand above women with first hand experiences.

I say almost, because sadly it seems like he’s more careful not to start, in lack of better words, such a shitstorm again than it seems that he has listened and taken other opinions in account. Then when he goes to make a, for everyone who followed the twitter aftermath, apparent dig at those fantastic people who were vocal about disagreeing with him by saying that everyone who “stood on the sidelines” and said that the people leading the discussion (i.e. him and others on the panel) were “patronizing or insulting or sexist - they’re not. They’re engaging in a really important discussion and if you have a problem with that - shame on you.”

It’s an interesting choice of words, because “shame on you” is exactly what I want to say to Ben in that moment. Neither me and every other viewer sat in front of a computer nor the female youtubers disagreeing with Ben are on the sidelines. We all tried to be a part of the discussion, but were shot down with passive aggressive digs from Ben himself. I’m sorry I’m not a female youtuber who does good enough to be on your panel Ben, but that does in NO way mean I’m on the sidelines of this. And by saying that I, we are Ben once again leaves us out of a discussion that is about us. It’s easy to say women should be leading the debate with a smug smile and a sarcastic tone (judge for yourself), but apparently it’s a whole other thing to actually let us do that.

So okay, I started watching the BY panel even thought I really don’t have time and 7 minutes in Ben is already pissing me off saying;
“Unconditional love scares me. I want.. You need an audience that hold you to account.”

And while this is very true and I agree with him; Ben’s saying one thing and then acting out the complete opposite. You don’t want to be held account for anything. Quite the opposite as you will in fact attack every person who doesn’t give you unconditional love. 

As a sidenote; 7 minutes in and you can already tell Lex is going to be the absolute best thing about this panel. 

(I will now leave this because if I don’t I will not only be late but also I will angrily liveblog my whole watching of the panel and I suspect that holds little to no interest to others.)


Becoming Youtube Panel up at last. Should be watched for a bigger picture of the drama surrounding the event.