Day One Hundred and Nine
-A young boy yielding a pool noodle thrice his height shouted the word “penis.” He may be only three, but he is well on his way to becoming as mature a man as any.
-A child passing by Starbucks remarked, “Hot chocolate? Like in Polar Express?” I hope that their innocence and enthusiasm are never dampened and that their exposure to liquid goodness goes beyond disturbingly-animated movies.
-I have become something of an attraction to possessed children today. Throughout my shift, upwards of two infants have twisted themselves around 270 degrees in their seat to maintain eye contact with me. I am unsure how best to utilize my legion of demonic toddlers, but I am certain they will come in handy.
-Four twelve year-old girls spent the better part of an hour sprinting throughout the store, and the better part of another hour sitting in a single cart at the front. This gaggle of gals had a large bag of water and a complete lack of supervision. This has potential to be a devastating combination as any of us have seen.
-A nine year-old busted out a surprisingly sick drum solo. With nothing more than a plastic stick, she gave my life a sense of drama which I can only hope to live up to.
-A man left his bag behind. I began to shout after him. A woman behind me chimed in, echoing my calls in a soft whisper. My attempts were not enough. Thankfully, the sound level it took to get his attention was precisely one whisper above a shout, so once again partner and I have triumphed.
-A clean-shaven neckbeard spent his evening compulsively and sporadically dabbing to entertain his friends. Sadly, his attempts at being impressive were entirely in vain, as he was behind them the entire time, and he was dabbing.