Going into your friends house (are we still friends?) when they are not there is very uncomfortable and not okay. Especially for me today. All I could think about was last time I was there and what a bitch I was. It was all I could do to keep from crying. I just can’t believe myself. I keep going over it and over it in my head, everything I said, everything I did. I was hurt, and I acted like a child and I am completely disgusted with myself. I can’t believe I did that. What on earth would have possessed me to act that way? I just want to make it better, but I know I cant. Nothing I can say or do will ever make it better. You can never take words back, no matter how much I want to. I’m so upset that we aren’t nearly as close or friendly as we used to be, and for a while I blamed everyone else. I really did. It was everyone else’s fault but mine. But of course it wasn’t. It was absolutely my fault. 100%. And I can never fix it. And that absolutely kills me.

Well, now i just give up on life.

Having a shitty month.
And an extra shitty week.
Thought I could wake up and not have a shitty day. But a lot of stuff happened that just annoyed me, pissed me off, and made me depressed. So I decided to just stop interacting with any of these things that have been killing my mood. So i decide to go clean my room and forget everyone/everything.
Go to hang up clothes in my closet.
My closet supports break and everything in my closet falls on top of me.
I have a very, very packed closet.
I quit. Today fucking sucks. 
Fuck it.