because. sitcom

helllo everybody tonight is my night off (at last) and so here I am to ask the hardhitting questions Main Stream Media is too afraid to ask, namely:

what’s your favorite moment out of all the portrayals of Fictional Romance?

define “fictional romance” however you like, whatever type of media, high brow or low brow, sexual or rated G, genders of the respective parties up for grabs, what moment sticks out to you as just—oh. that.

(if I went first, I would say that the moment in north and south when john thornton whispers “look back at me.” because nothing before or since has ever felt as shivery-good as the raw unrequited wanting of that line.)

i had a dream that there was a sitcom about a bunch of classic literature characters living in dracula’s castle (because that was the only house that would fit them all, i think). like besides dracula and the vampire brides there was jekyll/hyde, victor frankenstein, adam frankenstein, elizabeth lavenza, henry clerval, raoul de chagny, christine daae, dorian gray, sherlock holmes, john watson, and carmilla

an actual autistic: i’m not comfortable with sheldon representing me because he’s a sitcom misogynist not to mention that he’s not treated as if he’s on an equal level to the other characters due to being distasteful comic relief

allistic: actually he’s great and you’re a dipshit. tsk these autistics are just too sensitive because sheldon is actually AMAZING rep you dumbass child

“So,” Bill said when Barack took the stage and started giving his speech. “Knock knock.”

Hillary turned to him in disbelief.

“Seriously?” She asked in mumble.

He’s got to be kidding her. Seriously? A knock knock joke in the middle of the President’s speech?

But these knock knock jokes were something they both enjoyed together. He loved it. She hated it, but it makes her laugh.

She saw him bit his lips and a small teasing smile appeared on his lips. She couldn’t help it, he was so charming.

She kept a straight face, and Bill thought she wouldn’t play his game. He was ready to let it go but then he felt her leaned to him, then heard her say: “Who’s there?”

Bill barked out a laugh making people turn their heads to them.

“Something funny there?” Barack asked in humor. Hillary facepalmed. Bill waved.

So much for discretion.

8

sheilikhal  asked:

Actually need more wacky WWII hijinks because it gives me LIFE. PLEASE. PLEEEEASE.

hell yeah dude put on your learning pants because today we’re gonna talk about a guy named John Malcolm Thorpe Fleming “Mad Jack” Churchill


Jack Churchill was an English dude who had previously spent some time in the military, but by the time WWII rolled around was mostly spending his time dicking around and enjoying his favorite two perfectly ordinary hobbies- archery and bagpipes. He did archery for a couple movies and even won a number of bagpiping contests because dude was totally a weeaboo, but, like for Scotland instead of Japan. A wee-aboo (get it??? no? okay i’m sorry)


But then WWII breaks out and Jack Churchill cuts short his professional bagpiping career to re-join the Army, only this time he took said bagpipes with him, along with his bow and a mothafuckin longsword, because yeah that’s a totally normal thing that people do.


Like he was so over the top about this fuckin sword that he became known for the saying “any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed”, which presumably sounded cool then but nowadays sounds like something you’d see poorly photoshopped onto a picture of a dude wearing a fedora and holding a sword he bought for $20 from that one weird store in the mall

look real close at what the dude on the right is holding


As might be expected of a dude who brought AN ACTUAL LITERAL SWORD to the biggest gunfight in history, Churchill also pretty much immediately develops a reputation for being completely batshit, starting when his unit ambushes a German patrol in France.


“check this shit out” says Churchill, and then he straight up SHOOTS ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WITH A BOW AND ARROW IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 1940, becoming the only dude to kill another dude with a longbow in WWII because seriously what the fuck


after that, he joins the Commandos, because clearly the normal Army just wasn’t hardcore enough for a dude who willingly opts for a longbow instead of a gun in combat situations. During the Allied invasion of Sicily, he (complete with bow, longsword, and bagpipes) led his Commando unit in an attack on a town near Salerno, in which he:


  • “led personally the attack on a German 4 gun battery”
  • led a troop consisting of one guy on an advance into the town in which they personally captured 42 Germans (out of 100+ captured by the mission as a whole)
  • won a Distinguished Service Order for his “powers of endurance and the cool and unflinching manner in which he exposed himself to danger so that he seemed to bear a charmed life”

(from his recommendation for the VC. available via the National Archives)


eventually his luck ran out during a battle in Yugoslavia, where the story goes that he stood on a hilltop, all the men around him dead or wounded, and played “Will Ye No Come Back Again?” on the bagpipes until the Germans chucked a grenade at him. But even a grenade to the fucking face was not enough to kill Jack Churchill. Nothing was enough to kill Jack Churchill.


Instead, he was knocked unconscious, captured, and sent to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp with other VIPS, because in a literal sitcom of a situation the Germans had gotten him mixed up with Prime Minister Churchill’s brother (also named Jack)


fortunately the mix up didn’t end up mattering much since my dude Jack Churchill immediately escaped the camp anyway


he was recaptured shortly after and transferred to a new camp that was apparently more Mad Jack-proof because he stayed there for about 6 months before getting free (I found some conflicting accounts of how this was accomplished, whether by more Fuckin Extra Shenanigans or by the Nazis simply abandoning the camp) and then walking 150 km god damn kilometers until he met up with some Americans with whom he could fuck shit up until getting back to his own forces


he was eventually posted to Burma but the war ended p much just as he got there, which must have been a relief to anyone living in Burma who valued not having arrows in their vital organs


he stayed in the army after the war, eventually fighting in the middle east. To give you an idea of how he spent his later years, here’s a quote from his 1996 obituary:


When not engaged in military operations Jack Churchill was a quiet, unassuming man, though not above astonishing strangers for the fun of it. In his last job he would sometimes stand up on a train journey from London to his home, open the window and hurl out his briefcase, then calmly resume his seat. Fellow passengers looked on aghast, unaware that he had flung the briefcase into his own back garden.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/7733516/Lieutenant-Colonel-Jack-Churchill.html


what the fuck, Jack Churchill. what the fuck.

I need a Captive Prince sitcom with roommates Damen and Nikandros and cute but snarky neighbor Laurent, and Damen is always doing things like stealing Laurent’s mail so that he can return it and have a reason to talk to him, or pretending that he baked too many brownies or like, idk pasta or something, so that he can knock on Laurent’s door. And Laurent sort of just stares at him and doesn’t usually say much, but whatever one liners he delivers are said with such savage wit that Damen turns away from the encounter feeling 30% amused, 10% worried, and 60% aroused.

Damen is constantly waxing poetic about Laurent’s running shorts or man bun (modern Laurent does it, you can’t tell me otherwise) or the way he smelled when they passed in the hall the other day, and 80% of Nik’s scenes are him just staring into the camera Jim Halpert style.

So the first season of the sitcom is Damen staring at Laurent’s door down the hall like a big ol’ love puppy and awkward but endearing encounters in the hallway, but in the first season finale Laurent is having a really bad day and he drops all of his groceries in the hallway (I dunno why Laurent still uses paper bags for groceries but he does) and Damen finds him and helps him pick everything up and sort of comforts him without realizing it and their hands touch handing over the long load of French bread and Laurent’s heart stutters and the last scene is Laurent saying yes to coming over to Damen’s so he isn’t alone in his upset mood

And second and third season friendship build/slow burn, probably alive Auguste and maybe Kastor but he doesn’t agree with Damen slumming it in an apartment with Nik and trying to make it on his own (??? Idk???) so he isn’t really involved

OH but maybe one episode Kastor is in town and they’re hanging out and he starts bagging on Damen and Laurent stands up for him and kicks Kastor’s ass and then Damen has an even harder time seeing around the hearts in his eyes

Third season finale is FINALLY the kiss that we’ve all been waiting for, and I’m going to say it happens on Laurent’s balcony and Laurent’s (possible) roommate Jord walks in because I loved that moment in the book

But obvi this show is on stars or HBO because I need to see the GOOD stuff

6

anonymous asked:

can we get some younger sana + the balloon squad headcanons please😩 like when she was at utta or something😩

younger sana + the balloon squad is my shit ™ like if yall have some headcanons for me hit me up!!!!

  • sana was a completely different person when she was at school than she was at home
    •  like at school she spoke perfect norwegian/she was cold and didn’t talk much 
    • but at home she sometimes fell into the way her brother and his friends spoke she could smile and relax and be herself 
    • when she is at home or with the boys she doesn’t feel the pressure of being perfect or fitting someone else image 
  • the boys always stayed late on saterday so they could all watch movies together
    • like they had a system where every saterday one could pick a movie but if you pick two bad movies you can’t choose for a while (depending how bad the movies were)
  • elias used to tease her about the fact that sana would always wear black now that she is in middle school but the boys were like “bruh she looks so badass” “like men in black but way cooler” 
  • they have so many nicknames for sana like they love her a lot
  • the boys used to help sana with her homework but they were confusing her more because they couldn’t agree and Mikael would just make the exercise for her without explaining so she just asks jamilla now
  • sana loves the boys being around because now instead of two big brothers she has five
    • yousef doesn’t count jus because he doesn’t feel like a brother to her 
    • he is different, she doesn’t know why he is different but he is 
  • i already mentioned that sana rapped nicky’s verse from monster and the boys never been the same
    • but now Adam wants to have a rap battle every chance he gets and Mikael wants to film everybody’s reaction
    • but sana just wanted some juice before studying again
  • like the boys think elias is an overachiever but he has nothing on sana and the boys are like can you both chill ? and they are nO, school is important and you need to take time and effort in it ??
    • but they both literally on top of their class
    • they realised being a good *cough the best cough* is a bakkoush trait
  • they went to all her middle school games and cheered the loudest to the point sana was so embaressed to the point they were only allowed to her important high school games much to their disagreement
  • sana has so much blackmail on them just in case she needs a favor but it is usually useless because they are always ready to help her
  • they used the prank the neighbours all the time
  • sana and mikael once got all the waterguns and they fired it at the boys who were siiting outside for her window it was actually one of the best memories she has from mikael
  • mutta once asked her advice on a girl and sana had no idea what to say and just said that he just had to be himself because thats was honestly good enough
    • it worked since they went on a date after sana gave him advice 
    • it was a total fluke tho
  • okay there was this guy in sana’s islam class who had a crush on sana but sana didn’t notice because she was honestly not interested 
    • so the boys noticed because the boy was giving sana heart eyes when elias picked her up and they all tried their best big brother glare and sana was like what are you doing ????? oh nothing ??? why are you glaring brahim like that he is nice ??? 
  • the boys adore discussing things with sana she usually have a different view than them
  • whenever one of the boys had a big presentation they would practice at the bakkoush with the an audiance (the balloon squad + sana and the bakkoush parents)
  • the boys love binging watching old tv shows and dragging sana to watch with them 
    • “sana this culture”
    • “Adam, just because it is 90 sitcom doesn’t mean it is culture”
    • “cmon, sana we are watching friends next”
    • “I hate ross”
    • “Sana who doesn’t ???”
  • the boys always could feel when sana had a bad day it wasn’t very obvious but they tried to make her smile at least one
  • when sana spended more and more time with jamilla the boys were very hurt 
    • “Aren’t we good enough anymore”
    • “We took her when she had no one and now she leaves us”
    • “that never happened maybe she wants to hang out with girls”
    • “OKAY I UNderstand but who is getting rid of all the spiders now
  • the boys all have a soft spot for her like sana can do no wrong it is amazing like she literally can’t even if she does they are like nahhhhhhhh

imafucktard  asked:

i keep having trouble understanding the little demons and i want to know what they're mainly like and how they came to be.

They dont have backstory. Theyre just…..there. Like *snaps* appear of thin air.
To give laugh because its sitcom.

as an addendum to my previous post, i wanted to add that i find the “but mac and dennis are basically already a couple. they’re already canon, what more do you want?” argument a bit frustrating. yes, that’s true to a certain degree, but on a show like it’s always sunny, whose humor explicitly portrays dark and offensive material ranging from waterboarding to molestation, accepting an abstraction of mac and dennis’ romantic arc feels…cheap, almost? like on other shows with rampant queerbaiting where neither character in question is confirmed to be queer? sure, i’ll take it. but sunny is the kind of show that would go there, not just because they like to push the boundaries of what’s acceptable to depict in sitcoms, but because they’ve been tending this storyline from episode one. it’s been in their writing since the very beginning. and if they can show mac’s masturbation bike with a veiny dick-fist pumping out of it, why can’t they show two men kissing? why is that somehow outside of the thesis of the show? because mac and dennis would be “soft” somehow? newsflash, they’ve been soft for each other the entire goddamn time. 

i don’t understand why some (outside of the reddit bros, i understand that of course) consider it strange that fans hope the show will push another boundary just because it happens to be a gay ~romantic one? the show has already shown us they’re willing to develop their characters without risking their tone or comedy, so what’s the worry? i wouldn’t want them to change the show for macdennis. they don’t have to. the show, as people love to point out as previously established, already has “””canon””” macdennis. so then what’s the problem with them adding kissing and/or sex if they already depict every other aspect of a romantic relationship? it’s completely fine if you don’t ship it, or rather them not consummate the relationship, but there’s no need to imply those that do want those things to happen somehow have a more rudimentary understanding of the show.