because-i-was-torn-on-this-moment

3/31/2015 5:06PM EST

I can’t bring myself to work (again) so I’m taking a break at the moment. 

There’s a lot to do, a lot to do.

I think that I have a wisdom tooth coming in. It’s dreadfully distracting and uncomfortable. It isn’t painful, but these parts of my mouth are being displaced and it feels weird, and my tongues keeps searching for this newly developed gap/bone/torn-piece-of-my-gums combination that it hasn’t seen since I was ten and had finished with this tooth business. This means I cannot ever concentrate fully on anything I am doing. I am trying to train my tongue to not do that, but it is hard. When will it stop? 

Some moments or hours or days, I am remarkably productive, and sometimes I cannot get anything done at all. But I suppose that’s normal. It is frustrating though, because the back of my brain says “hey, you need to work!” and I refuse to do so. At this rate I will fail. I do not know if I have the capacity to work nonstop like I need to, and I am worried I am past the point of no return.

Perhaps it will help me to have everything out in the open. 

Here is how I currently stand:

6.01 (Intro to EECS):
36% on midterm 1, but homework and labs (in which I have a 97%) account for 50% of my total grade. Yeah. Doing pretty badly, but I’m at least confident that I can hopefully pass. 

18.03 (Differential Equations):  
62% on midterm 1, 59% on midterm 2. There’s not much else I have to say about this, I’m pretty much failing at the moment. 

7.013 (Introduction to Human Biology):
85% (A) on midterm 1. I’m pretty happy about this. It’s a good thing I barely made the cutoff for an A, which is an 85% here at MIT. It’s my saving grace. 

8.02 (Physics Electromagnetism):
79% (B) on midterm 1. Sort of happy about this. Thank God for my AP Physics C teacher in high school, he taught me everything I needed to know. However, there are only two midterms in this class, so I need to do well on the upcoming one (next week)(!!!). 

21F.108 (Chinese II Streamlined):
I don’t really know how I’m doing in this class, because we have a lot of different tests, quizzes, and assignments (It’s how you study a language, after all) but I think I’m in the A range. I haven’t ever done terribly on anything, at least.

Today’s Assignments:

  • Physics pset
  • Chinese Presentation
  • Math Reading

I will do the best I can. 

Though many people say this, I will also say it out of honesty: I often feel that my admission here was a mistake. I have never felt that I had a limit, but here I do. A lot of people have told me many times to “work smarter, not harder” but no one has told me what working smarter is, or how to do it. Working hard is what I know how to do, and pressing my limits in that direction did not seem to work. It is difficult to find motivation when I had worked very hard last quarter and still failed often, particularly in math. I have never faced a problem like this before—but I believe I will grow from it, if only I can stay emotionally separate from my academic problems. That last part is hard, though, but I believe I can do it. 

Not going down without a fight. 

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Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?I'm a whole new woman.

Positive Lady Character Meme: The West Wing

CJ Cregg + Powerful Feminist Moments: Microaggressions 

10

James Diamond + friendship

Here’s to another moment in the anime that destroyed me. The word ‘home’ for me doesn’t mean what people typically think. When I say “I wanna go home”, I don’t mean a building or a place or even a person. I mean a state [of being]. I mean a time when everything was normal, before things were torn asunder. And I got a little bit out of this scene. And because of this it makes sense why Kaneki basically goes to Arima. They can’t go back to normal in this life. So, you know, maybe in the next?

anonymous asked:

I need your positivity and reassurance right now, Sanja. Norman and Melissa both on the couch next week along with Scott Gimple and "a surprise cast member". I don't know whether to be excited or terrified. I'm torn between both. Help. :(

Hi my anonymous friend,

YES I heard the news and YES I flailed about it for a few glorious moments BUT then once it all hit me I also had a tiny moment of uneasiness….

I “noped” my way out of that negativity quite easily though because while TWD is a world of ultimate uncertainty, their way of doing things and handling “death” related signs does operate in a way that has at this point become a little more familiar and easier to navigate. 

Especially for the CAROL fans. 

Truth be told, Carol has had the MOST death predictions and DEATH rumours, than any other TWD character AND unfortunately that’s only become worse this season.
It’s kind of like the longest death scene in Television history at this point…


I will post a longer post about this later on but for now I want you to remember this.

1. TWD has announced Scott Gimple, Norman Reedus, Melissa McBride as guests but included a spot for a SURPRISE GUEST. Usually a surprise guest name is hidden or not announced because that’s the character that ends up dying or has a major thing happening in the episode.

2. Carol is a long term character on TWD and a major player in the action this season, which means that her death would be monumental event in the show and not something they would give away by hinting at it through a Talking Dead appearance.

3. There is a theory that MORGAN might be the surprise guest which could be a possibility but to me his appearance only proves that Carol isn’t the one dying even more because her death would be a major event and not one TWD would distract from by making other BIG things announced at the same time.

4. Melissa McBride is set to be in a movie in the summer but it’s only a supporting role, and seeing how other cast members have done other projects while still “alive” on TWD, that in itself is not enough reason to fear the worst.

5. Scott Gimple has said Carol is his favorite character, in fact writing for Melissa McBride was his “dream job”, and he mentioned that Carol was on a “heroes journey” now and he was building her up for leadership.
Killing her in the finale would halt all that before its done.

6. Film tracking Melissa filming with Andrew Lincoln till the last scene of the finale and nobody else was around. If it was a death scene she wouldn’t have been alone - Norman and Steven would most likely have been there to support her!

7. This is just my shipper heart speaking mostly but there is a lot of stuff unresolved between Carol and Daryl and I can’t see AMC leaving things at their peak like that (especially with all the new CARYL & CAROL merchandize being sold out already).

8. Carol as a character has a lot of things unresolved within herself and after the Emmy buzz The Grove got, killing her off before letting her “FEEL IT” would just be bad judgment all around…

9. Carol has become one of not just the most popular but also one of the most interesting characters on a show that is regularly criticized for lack of character development and definition. Her story and her performance is bringing in the awards and critics acclaim once again -her death will not be one done just for shock value or because it’s what is expected for a finale.

10. Carol won’t die because Chandra and her flying monkeys really want her to DIE.
TWD Gods can’t be that cruel 😉

I hope that helps for now but I will be back with more HOPEFUL POSITIVITY soon ❤️

Love XXOO

Sanja

anonymous asked:

22 and Narry :)

There’s a brief mention of Louis and Eleanor’s break up.

-

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

It’s wrenched out of Harry in the heat of the moment, cold comments aimed to cause a reaction turned into a full on argument in a deserted dressing room, and he hates everything he has become. A famous popstar surrounded by loads of people every day that feels insanely lonely because of a tiny rift between himself and one of his bandmates.

It’s nothing big. Not from an outsiders perspective. Isn’t even detectable if you’re not one of the two it concerns, because nothing has happened to their friendship. Niall is still his best friend - still the person that knows the best ways to calm him down and keep him grounded in a world that always tries to make his head blow up enough to float away. But there’s more stirring under the surface, a friendship that has developed into something with potential that neither of them can ignore but that they both try to look past anyway, and Harry is tired of it. Tired of pushing everything aside because it doesn’t seem like time will do anything good no matter how patiently he waits.

Keep reading

I’m really torn about the final fantasy xv issues. Square Enix generally does pretty good when it comes to gender. It has it’s wtf moments and it’s blatant fanservice, but I feel like fanservice in moderation is okay, especially when accompanied by males in equally skimpy garments, which you can almost always find in final fantasy games. That’s why Cidney didn’t intially bother me, because, for example, gladiolus is somewhat scant as well. But then more of her animation came out and she was very clearly sexualized for the male gaze in her movements and the camera angles, which is yet again annoying, especially because they chose to showcase this in the demo. But again, fanservice doesn’t bother me much because hey, its not just dudes that enjoy it, and I don’t know, as long as it’s balanced by strong, well developed female characters elsewhere in the work, I can accept it. (And a balance with fanservice that’s geared traditionally towards females helps, too, which SE almost always has in their games, in addition to the boob jiggles “for men”.)

The problem with xv is we don’t know enough about the female characters to judge if they were done justice, or if the writers slacked off on ALL of the women in favor of the Bros Being Bros theme they have going on.

But while I still have hope, and I still think the game might not be a giant misogynistic sausage fest, thats me being optimistic based on square enixs previous track record, but unfortunately, that’s all I can base it on. Because their PRESENT track record, handling this game, has been baaaad. while I can handle not having female playable characters IF, once again, the females in the story are well-done, we have no proof of that being true because they have barely included them in promotion at all. I’m hoping this is just because their roles are very spoiler-y, but it DOES look very odd for a final fantasy game, usually moderately progressive and female-friendly, to have no women in the party… you can’t blame people for being concerned, I don’t think. And then you consider the stupid comments some of the devs are making? “oh, having a girl would have changed the dynamic!” ????????? It’s yet another statement that I’m torn on. I can see the logic behind it (young men usually act differently around each other then young women) but at the same time, no. There are plenty of circumstances where that isn’t true. the lack of playable women doesn’t bother me by ITSELF, but when combined with treatment of Cid and statements like that which bespeak archaic views like “men and women can’t be platonic and buddy-buddy because they ALWAYS view each other as sexual candidates” or even suggest that women are somehow not the same as men— different enough that their mere presence is going to negatively alter the cast dynamics? That doesn’t bode well for representation in this game… but I’m trying to withhold judgement until we get the final product… it’s just too early for me to say one way or another.

But I will say that I think people are more than justified to be skeptical of the game. Not to outright demonize it like some are, no, because there’s still a chance it will turn out to be positive, but… I can’t blame anyone for scoffing at it for the moment. Square really hasn’t given anyone reason to trust them at this point.

dr-griffin asked:

Omggg my faves were definitely the the radio scene(1st) the fire scene, the one where clarke gets hurt and bell brushes her hair back and like caresses her cheek, ofc the final scene, and I found the 2nd radio scene hilarious where clarkes like "bellamy you're late. Every three hours means every three hours" and hes just like "you through?" What were your faves??

YESS! All those scenes were so epic! We really got so many! That radio scene ranks high on my fave list too because her face:

And yes the second time they talk on the radio. That was a total married couple moment lol! 

I really love to concentrate on Clarke because while fandom’s more or less fixed on the idea that Bellamy’s in love with Clarke they are kinda torn over Clarke having similar feelings. And I get that but also look at how Bellamy makes her react: 

1) Her ‘please don’t question him’ look.

2) Her ‘rare treasure of my life let me take 2 seconds to tell you how precious you are’ look 

3) Her ‘I have faith but at the same time he means so much to me I cannot handle having him die’ serious face.

4) Her ‘he really is the key to everything and also omg he’s not dead’ look of happiness and relief.

5) Her ‘we lost contact *cough* I am fine I am keeping it together’ look.

6) Her ‘I can breathe again Bellamy is ok’ look which is actually indicative of an inner siren of ‘BELLAMY BELLAMY BELLAMY OMG BELLAMY!!!’ going off inside of her. No one can convince otherwise.

7) Her ‘I thank the stars for you Bellamy Blake, oh light in my darkest moments’ look.

8) Her ‘ok Clarke time to go. CLARKE, WALK. AWAY. NOW.’ look.

Also, if S1 was all about Bellamy going “You’re mistaking me for someone who cares” then S2 was definitely all about Clarke insisting “I care about all of them” and Lexa going “Yea you care about me more.” Because there is nothing more exciting than my OTP resisting the thought of having exclusive feelings for each other hohohoho. 

johnleokenway asked:

Do you think Ollie and Laurel will ever enter a romantic relationship in the distant future? Judging from this season it looks very unlikely but it could provide an interesting contrast, plus their relationship is a deep root with the DC lore. Personal I'm torn because if Laurel gets her head together and calmed down they could prove an interesting pair? But as of the moment: Olicity is the main ship. <p>P.S. Please don't hate me, I'm just curious to hear your opinion</p> <p>Thanks again</p>

Not going to lie I saw them happening in season 1 and even season 2 for a short while. I don’t see them being together in the show again. Especially since they started to integrate Olicity into the new Green Arrow comics.

anonymous asked:

Ah yes, getting called white when I'm from Mexico because I find white hate disgusting. Man I love saying that I can do anything and I should love my heritage, but the moment I disagree with the tumblr mindset, I get that all torn away from me because "lol she MUST be white"

Funny, isn’t it? Your opinions dictate your color, apparently.

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Wolf’s Rain 10-Day Challenge - Day 2: Your favourite canon/non-canon ship - Cher and Hubb

Good God, these two give me so many feelings - like, not even joking. I crave every moment that they spend together because you just know they still really love each other, and circumstances have torn them apart, and you just want them to be together again because they need each other so much and ahhhhhhhh, just a lot of feels :’(

cinekina asked:

"How do you get your eyeliner that perfect? Really, it makes your eyes pop!"

:ASK MY MUSE FOR ADVICE:

     The man’s first reaction was a cold, hard glare.

— Golden daggers boring into Cinekina’s face as she stood, freshly asked question hanging in the air.

After a moment, Bishop lowered his gaze, staring at her from under low brows as his lips curled into an annoyed sneer— directed toward the girl.

Funny, it’s almost as if you’re asking me to skin you alive— and I’d be happy to oblige.”

psychotictheory.

he tells himself thirty times that he needs to get over himself before he gets to the hospital. he didn’t get the title, but that doesn’t matter — not when jon’s in the hospital. his feelings about the goddamned company don’t mean a damned thing until he knows that jon is okay, that jon isn’t permanently injured.

it’s hard, though, to pretend like he isn’t torn from the inside out, because he is. colby stole yet another moment from him, betrayed him yet again and he doesn’t know why he’s surprised, but he is. he feels like he can’t breathe, like he’s going to have another heart attack behind the wheel of his car.

luckily, he doesn’t. he makes it to the hospital in one piece, and they lead him to jon’s room with little fanfare. the blonde is out while he sits there, a few hours in which he’s left to his own thoughts, trying to not lose himself completely as he waits for jon to wake up.

anonymous asked:

Mama Lost, I'm so torn between melting over how Rumple kissed Belle's hand (even if I see what you mean when you say it was stalkerish - it was but that's not what bothers me at the moment, and I found it really sweet too) and told her he will come back for her if he can, and being totally worried because here's the thing: I loved what Rumple said. But Belle doesn't want him to come back for her (at the moment), she wants to be left alone by him. And I'm afraid this, and their other issues 1/2

adressed. I want them to talk about what happened between them. But I’m afraid it’ll be a “Rumple is dying / the Dark One curse is destroying him and Belle saves him with TLK in the last moment” storyline. And I’d even be happy with that, but I’m afraid the next step from their would be “well, the curse made Rumple bad, so let’s forget about all the relationship problems, Rumbelle is True Love”. And Belle will go back to him, because it’s TL, and they’ll never adress anything.

II

I am so worried about this too.  I want them back together but in a healthy ‘let’s talk about the obvious communication issues we have and the lying and betrayal and control with the dagger.’  It shouldn’t be easy or fast.  I want real and work and admitting fault and trying to be better. I’d love living apart an actual courtship and sharing painful truths.

I’m worried that they won’t actually resolve it but give it the bandaid treatment.  And i’m scared that they’ll whitewash RUm like they have Hook and Regina.

art, fiction, and reality

i dithered about making this post because talking about your fic as if it actually matters is probably the most self-indulgent thing you can do as an author and this post would mostly be me thinking out loud, but um

let’s talk about rag and bone

there’s been criticism that i’m using the real life tragedy of the atomic bombings to motivate steve & bucky’s relationship

which is a criticism i’ve been expecting ever since i posted manila (ii)

Keep reading

The real Clegg: As the Lib Dem leader, he had to decide whether to form a coalition with the David Cameron’s party, or with Gordon Brown’s Labour party.

The TV Clegg: Played as a confused, and very stressed man, torn between pragmatism and his conscience. Carvel makes Clegg’s dilemma so tense that you forget you already know the outcome.  Panicked, forlorn and downtrodden, he leaves you feeling relieved you’ve never been in politics.

Bertie Carvel on playing Clegg: “I didn’t want to try to copy Clegg entirely but I watched his speeches and wondered why a particular moment would have an irregular rhythm, and I’d try to imagine the psychology behind him.

"We [the actors] were shitting ourselves. It was daunting because we’re playing people in the public eye who are so present."

anonymous asked:

i think, in the conception of four, zayn realized that he could write his own songs or something and that probably the sound of his new material is just not what' the lads want to do. it's a bit painful for us because everything seems planned. Don't get me wrong it was a chock but in a way now, i think zayn wasn't that happy/confortable. no matter what, it was a tough desision for everyone and what we see it's what's they want us to see. they all probably torn atm, release an album, being

being on tour, and successful it’s just the cherry of the top. maybe he could have wait a bit before ‘announed’ a solo career, but overall there is no good moment. i’m worry for the four others, how they gonna continue their journey, if the fans will be there… imagine if we worrying, what about them? ( i hope my english make sence, i’m french)

Yes, we talked about him not looking happy on stage before, but I think he was doing alright on this tour and I thought this will be his year and it looks like he really tried. Idk.

I’m really torn between these headcanons when Zelda finally reveals herself as Sheik to Link. Part of me thinks he’s relieved, that having feelings for Sheik is like betraying zelda in some way so finding out they are one in the same he’s all “well all right problem solved! The two people i love are actually one person!” But i also see him being conflicted because sheik and zelda have completely different personas and I can see link missing traits sheik had that zelda doesn’t? Idk but zelda could have moments where the “sheik” in her shines through which reminds link they really are one person and that although link can’t physically see sheik anymore she’s still there in zelda. Idk man