because-i-was-torn-on-this-moment

4

2x04 “Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things”
The Look Back over the Shoulder…

There is nothing, absolutely nothing that doesn’t kill me about this moment. The way you can see how torn he is about going back to her grave and staying for a while longer or not. The way he slightly nervously buckles his head, the way he clenches his jaw, the way his ees get watery. You can see how conflicted he is, what kind of fight is going on the inside. Because on the one hand you can see, he wants to go back and maybe say something, just a handful of words. But doing that would require so much pain and everything he’d want to tell her are things he’d want to tell her herself, not a tombstone, because that makes it real. Seeing her grave makes their loss real, more than anything else. So he finally decides to turn around, not say a word, because who he is looking and longing for, is not there (and this episode right here is so so important when keeping in mind that later in the season Dean will be attacked by a Djin and his biggest wish was for her to be alive and even though it’s just in a fantasy world, there he can tell her all of which he could not and di not want to here, in this moment), he carries her already with him no matter where he goes. On a photo in his father journal, another in his wallet, most though in his heart…

anonymous asked:

What is it you like about Anders from Dragon Age? I know people are kind of torn down the middle about him, some crazy love him others can't stand him, I was just wondering what you thought of him?

I really enjoyed and liked Anders when I met him in Awakening, he is quick witted, sincere, and passionate about his beliefs (though at the time they were more self-invested).

I admit it took me a playthrough of DA2 before I warmed up to him and how is character progressed between Awakening and DA2. That was mostly because the bad aspects of his character were catching my attention first? His treatment of Merrill, Fenris, Isabela, moments of manipulation, the fact that he only views spirits and the fade through the lense of being Andrastian, etc. And I didn’t look at him in a more critical/in depth eye until my next play throughs.

It was then that I found his character immensely interesting, his joining with Justice, how tirelessly he fights for mages to experience the same freedoms he has felt, the selflessness of running a clinic for people who needed help when the Chantry wasn’t doing anything to help those people, the fact that he spent YEARS trying to get people to listen (even his friends) so that there could be a peaceful solution, only resorting to what he did when it was the only option that remained. He still retains his humor, his sincerity, his passion for his beliefs which have shifted to helping achieve freedom for others. Anders is a fascinating, flawed character. And I wish the writers would respect that instead of treating him as their own personally villainous, “crazy” punching bag.

consultinggalpals asked:

On the one hand there's the wonderful idea of John being Sherlock's first, making the moment all the more special because John would be so gentle and Sherlock would be overwhelmed (my fave trope tbh). On the other hand there's clues that if anything, Sherlock was willing, if not eager, to touch willies with another man, but possibly just ended up wanking alone (at least in that instance where he ends up getting chips only for himeslf). I am so torn and confused... D:

You don’t have to pick one or the other! Splash around in the Chipperlock pool, dip your toes in, sit next to it, or sit far, far away. Whatever you like. It’s all fine!

I’m honestly a bit uncomfortable with the idea that being a virgin makes things more special etc. but there’s a whole lot of societal issues to go along with that. I dislike the whole concept of “virginity”. That’s part of why I resist the virgin!Sherlock trope so much. There’s nothing wrong with it and people can read and enjoy whatever they want (hey, I’m a librarian, after all!) but it’s not personally my cup of tea.

If I read fic in which Sherlock is a virgin, I prefer it be dealt with as more of John being like “Okay, you’re a virgin so I’m going to go slow and be very clear about the importance of consent and communication” and Sherlock being “Okay, this is a thing I haven’t done before because I didn’t care to, but now I care to VERY BADLY so please let’s do this”. Rather than a momentous YOUR WHOLE WORLD IS CHANGING BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER A VIRGIN IT IS SO IMPORTANT AND LIFE ALTERING AND YOU ARE NOW DIFFERENT AS A HUMAN. Ya know? Just my thoughts and preferences.

anonymous asked:

"Maybe it's for the best." Dean... An congrats on 6k!!! I'm so happy for you

Thank you :))

You glare at him, your tears falling down your cheeks, “How could you say that?”

Dean runs a hand through his hair and sighs, “I’m just saying, maybe it’s better that he ended it because now he’s out of danger, you know? No one can use him against you”

“Oh, and just have my heart broken after seeing him with some slut in a bar?” you scoffed and furiously wiped at your tears, “I wish he would get torn apart by a werewolf”

Dean can’t help but crack a smile at that, and you can’t help but smile when he does. After a few moments, your tears dry up and you lean your head on his shoulder, “Guess I should have seen it coming though” you sigh, and he hesitantly puts a hand on your arm, “I was never really around, I was always here, with you and Sam”

He nods and you nuzzle against his shirt, “He was always jealous” you mumble,  “Thought something was going on between us”

“Well, there isn’t” Dean says a little too quickly, and his thumb stops stroking your skin as you look up at him, “…Right?”

You lick your lips and his eyes drop to them before slowly sliding back to your wet eyes, “I don’t know” you whisper.

Dean looks at you for a bit longer, his head leaning forward the slightest bit, as if testing your reaction. You don’t move, and he watches as your eyes try to read his. 

The moment ends when Sam walks through the door, hollering that dinner’s here, and Dean springs back, awkwardly clearing his throat, “Yeah, be right there Sam” he says and stands up, looking back at you before disappearing into the library. 

Send me a sentence and a character and I’ll finish it :)

Haven AU - selkie!Duke and sheepdog-shapeshifter!Nathan

-When he’s at sea, he misses the earth grounding him. When he’s on land, he misses the roll of the waves. He’s literally torn between two worlds. Life sucks.

-He can’t feel anything as a dog either, but who needs touch with a nose that sensitive? 

Hahaha I was just reading the AMC bios/episode summary for Alone and it made me flashback to the day it was originally posted after the episode aired and some poor soul put the “Beth realizes Daryl has feelings for her” part in it before it was quickly removed. Only to have that added to the bios later. 

Fun fact: I remember exactly where I was when I read about that because that is the moment I decided I was full on shipping bethyl (I was torn before that, only because I was unsure if I was reading it right). I’m about to find and reblog the post I made about it hah

Might have to point out that I have nothing against Uta Gräf, she is a decent enough rider and seems pleasant, personally I thought those gods looked rather nice, but not perfect. My issue is that “the classical bunch” (yeah you will just have to suck it up because I’ve been grouped into the term “SOME riders on tumblr” more times than I can count so you had that coming) are more than willing to accept flaws and less perfect moments when it’s a rider they like, and won’t give an inch if it is ANY other rider. Funny thing is that every time I say something along these lines, people assume I mean Gal. I almost never mean Gal. I have seen sooo many riders, great riders, getting torn to absolute shreds on here for their horses dipping slightly behind the vertical at times, often in a screen shot, for slightly hollow backs or less than perfect movements. Some of these riders I have seen getting abused are friends of mine. So trust me if I say “any other rider”, the pool is a hell lot bigger than Gal.

Oh and not to mention that I am instantly crucified for writing a post aimed towards the classical community in general, I should tag them, ask questions and what not, and yet I have already seen several posts clearly subtexting ME, and, lo and behold, calling me a hypocrite. But THEN it is ok of course, no need to tag me of course (actually, refrain from doing that anyway, I have nothing to say to you from now on anyway).

Honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have found so many great people through tumblr, the bigotry would have chased me away long ago.

apocalyptic-grunge asked:

You obviously know that I used to not be a fan of Cherry (I now realize that she did nothing wrong and is pretty much a queen) but I never understood why people got upset that she didn't go visit Johnny? She just couldn't. She was nice about it too.

I don’t get it either. I think it’s because we tend to view other characters and situations through Ponyboy’s eyes, and when he got upset that she wasn’t going to go see him, readers internalized that feeling.
But the thing is, he was able to push pass his bout of anger just a moment later, and find a way to connect to her. I wish people could give her at least that much consideration.

Not only did she not owe Johnny and Ponyboy anything in the first place, but I imagine she was being torn apart in every which way. Imagine how hard it must be to try to reconcile your desire to help someone with the fact that they played a role in your boyfriend’s death.–that on top of her probably being pressured by friend’s and family to not stand for Ponyboy or Johnny. And yet, she still did. She felt responsible for everything that went wrong, even though she is blameless, and she felt a moral obligation to help them, even when we know she didn’t owe it to anyone, including herself, to do so. But Cherry did as much as she could given her position anyway, because she is genuinely a good person. Seeing the boy who killed her boyfriend, when she is still trying to deal with and accept the reality of his violent death, would be too hard to stomach (not to mention that she isn’t the only one who lost him, and she would have to consider what the people who loved him would think of her doing that). It’s not about her hating Johnny or thinking ill of him, because I don’t think she did. Not really. She understood that Bob’s death was as much his own fault as it was anyone else’s, but he was hers just the same, and that means something. 
It’s an impossible situation, and she handled it better than I think a lot of people give her credit for.

He is Faithful. But He is Faithful in His time. (#wtsdevo christianliving)

Hurt and pain were two things that I strongly felt after my grandparents had left to be with Jesus. Having being part of my life for a very long time and looking after me for as long as I could remember, they were more than just grandparents to me. And to have lost them just tore my world apart. At the time, I felt that I could never recover from this blow ever. But looking back at that moment now, I feel I’ve come a long way and all credit goes to the one who saved me and my soul.

There was one thing that I wished for, soon after the deaths of my grandparents and that was love. The moment they left, I felt a space open up inside of me and in it was nothing but longing to be loved. I wanted it to happen quickly because the longer I waited, the more torn I felt. However that wish never came through. My healing process took a few years and over that period Jesus was all that I kept close to me. Today I can look back and praise God for His goodness not only because have I embraced the fact that my grandparents are in a better place, but also because He has healed me and made me a stronger person than I ever was.

I wonder how differently things would have worked out, had I tried to find ways to heal my sadness on my own. If there is one thing I learnt from this, it’s that God’s ways aren’t our ways and God’s time is not our time. God has a plan and a time and when that time is right, all things will come into place just as He intends it.

God is faithful but are we faith-filled enough to believe that He will come through for us?

____________________________________________

Devotional Series: Christian Living (#wtsdevo christianliving)

Posted by: Elle \ Personal // Walk the Same // Color Movement

debonairkara asked:

The only reason Artorias lets out that scream at the end of his battle is because - as the Abyss seeps from his clouded mind after defeating him and his corruption - he remembers that he never got to say goodbye to Ciaran. And in his brief moment of sanity that's granted to him, he remembers. He never sees Ciaran, and never gets to say how her presence steadied his hand. The same thought that kept him going walking into the abyss is now what flashes through his mind as he is torn down with it.

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

MA or work?

I am really torn. So for the past few months, I keep on looking for work and still having interviews as of the moment. Tho i really wanted to work already, I can’t erase the fact that there’s a part of me that wants to take my Masteral degree in Clinical Psychology so I could work at mental institutions because that is really my dream. So right now, I don’t know which road to take. But all I know is, all these thoughts would lead up into thinking that I just really want to get my ass of into this house and start doing things for my future than basically doing nothing at home. This boredom is killing me. Seriously.

anonymous asked:

You know how Piper was terribly torn about leaving in Paris until Alex admitted she hid her passport, and Piper got angry enough to storm out. I feel like Piper held on to that for years as way of coping, that Alex was the kind of manipulative asshole (from Piper's perspective) that would hide your passport.

Y’know I dunno that the passport thing made her any less torn necessarily. I think even with that it was the most difficult thing she’d ever had to do. I think that it certainly strengthened her resolve in the moment, because it was manipulative and it was a ploy to keep her there and a reminder of one of Alex’s less positive traits. But if you look at Alex’s face in the moment Piper’s chastising her for hiding the passport, Alex looks like a scared little kid, not a badass manipulative drug dealer. It was an act of desperation because Alex knows she’s losing Piper and doesn’t know what else to do about it except do something to force her to stay and then turn on the charm because it’s not like she can just quit (which doesn’t make it right of course). And deep down Piper knows Alex enough to recognize that.

Knowing Piper as we do, I’m not sure that she would need to hold on to that one thing as a way to cope. Knowing Piper, she probably went home and immediately started compartmentalizing that whole section of her life, building up the walls around it until she had herself convinced that it was just a post college lost soul phase, until she had herself convinced that Alex was a bad person and that she only thought she was in love. I think the passport hiding became part of the way she made Alex into the bad guy, but I don’t know if it’s the only thing she focused on. Piper probably pushed all the good out of her mind and focused only on every bad thing that happened in their relationship, not just the last part of it.

And I believe that Piper never stopped feeling awful about leaving Alex when her mother died. She pushed the feeling down and tried to forget it I think as much as she knew leaving was what she had to do (and she did have to do it) the absolute worst thing was the timing.

(True confession: I tend to think of the fanfic After Effects: Piper  (guess who it’s by…) when I’m thinking about what happened to Piper after Alex left because honestly I think it seems like a pretty spot on take on the post Alex years. Piper is an expert at fooling herself, but she can only do it so much when it comes to Alex.)

villainny asked:

4, 16, 51, 37

Yay questions!

04: Are you insecure?

Completely and totally, about nearly everything, except my marriage and being a mom.  I thought the mom thing would be scary, but for some reason I totally have this down, even though my second born is the devil.  He’s so darn cute, you can’t even really blame him.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Tired, worried (about selling my house and keeping it clean), and torn, because I already brushed my teeth for bed, but J just brought me up chocolate milk with whipped cream and animal crackers… do I eat it?  

51: Favourite food?

Me and pizza are bros. A nearly middle-aged lady probably shouldn’t be best friends with pizza, which is probably why I can’t get rid of the baby weight, but yeah. Mmmmm pizza.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Probably forget, I can hold a grudge.

rp starter

kira-programofnowhere

You at the barricade listen to this
No one is coming to help you to fight
You’re on your own
You have no friends
Give up your guns - or die!

Matthew bit his lip, his pale fingers wrapped tightly around his gun. He heard the calls, requesting a surrenders. He shook his head at the men following him, telling them not to listen. He jerked his head forward, signaling his men forwards. “Follow me to victory, my friends!” He called out, leading them on. Though he didnt know it, not all would survive.


Two phantoms in the shadows of the moon
Can people really fall In love so soon?
He walked alone
He seemed alone like me
Could he have known
That moment was my destiny?
I had to run away,
And it was like a dream

Matthew walked with his head ducked, the tears streaming down his face. So was this how he was going to end up? Torn away from his family because he couldn’t speak up? Perhaps that was his fate. Would he just fade away?

His thoughts were ended by a loud voice calling out “hey? Are you alright?” The voice came from the other side of the street. Matthew’s head snapped up, looking towards the voice. He spotted a man looking at him, white hair matted against his head from the rain, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. Recognizing the male as a friend of Francis’, he turned away. He forced himself to go faster, ignoring the albino calling after him.


He’s like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one

Matthew crouched by the hospital bed, his head in his hands. They had warned him. Don’t care for a human, it will only bring you strife. He hadn’t listened. And so, here he was. Sitting by the hospital bed of the boy he had grown to care for as his son. The boy that had grown into a carefree young man, and then an old wizened man. While he was forced to stand by and not change. He swore never to make this mistake again, but he would fail.


At the end of the day you’re another day older
And that’s all you can say for the life of the poor
It’s a struggle, it’s a war
And there’s nothing that anyone’s giving
One more day standing about, what is it for?
One day less to be living.

Matthew sat on the couch of his home, head in his hands. His breath was rythmatic, going at a steady pace. His eyes were shut loosely and he seemed relaxed. The only tell tell sign that he wasn’t okay were the tear drops that beaded the carpet between his feet.

Tattoo ideas!

Torn between “one day at a time” on my ribs (because of H2, but also because that phrase is a good reminder when things become overwhelming) or a little butcher’s knife. Either way, something horror-related, in a way.

Leaning towards the first option, because it’s simple and cheaper, and I can always get the knife later on. Problem is, my only tattoo I have at the moment is also a saying. It’s “Carpe Omnia” (Latin for “seize everything”) in cursive on my inner-upper arm. So I’m unsure about getting another wordy tattoo; don’t want to look like a doodle pad.

If I get it, I’m thinking about getting it in a completely different font than my current one, but also in black, and hoping that the ribs on the opposite side of my other tattoo is enough distance.

Either times new roman, because I’ve seen some nice little tattoos in that font, OR hitting up Danielle on Twitter or something about her maybe writing out the phrase for me.

What do y’all think?

anonymous asked:

Can you talk about Sarah and what happened between both of you and your feelings for her now

Um, okay well Sarah. She was my first love. She was my first for a lot of things. She was my favorite, she was my world, she was my cute adorable gorgeous breathtaking, beautiful utopian princess. She was my all. She was my everything. What happened to us is complicated. I let her go, I had to as much as I didn’t want to, it was what was best for both of us. To this day, ending our relationship was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to do. Thinking about that day is still sensitive to be honest. I don’t regret it, I had to do it. But there are moments I find myself wishing that we were never torn apart. That we were never interrupted. And I wish we weren’t, because the time I had with her, the time I had her to call my girlfriend was the happiest time of my entire existence so far. And I miss it, I miss it a lot. I miss being with her and I miss hearing her voice and seeing her smile, because she has a great fucking smile, hearing her laugh and talk about the most random things talking about whatever came to her mind. I miss it. And I wish I could’ve been there during the time she was alone and isolated, having her homophobic parents cage her in and tell her that who she is, is wrong. But who she is, is not wrong. Who she is, is absolutely beautiful. And her parents are stupid not to see what they have. What they’re able to see everyday, they don’t realize how lucky they are to call her their daughter. Because they are, god are they lucky. Do I still love her? I’m not in love with her as I was before, I know that. I do love her, I love her a lot. We may not be together, but I do love her. Sarah is the most incredible person most amazing person I know. She’s the strongest person I know. It’s unbelievable how strong she is. She doesn’t even realize it. The things she’s had to go through, the things she’s going through right now, not many people would try to look forward and wait for it to get better. She’s an asshole. She’s a jerk. She’s an idiot. She’s a loser. She’s so stubborn. She’s annoying. She’s irritating. Her sarcasm is so good that it’s undetectable, then again I’m really bad at telling when she’s being sarcastic. She’s a politics zealot. She’s my best friend. She’s Sarah. And I love everything there is to her. I’m glad to have her in my life, I’m glad to be able to tell her about anything and everything and hear her stories and how her day went and everything. She’ll always hold a place in my heart. First loves always reserve a special place. And I’m so lucky to still have mine in my life, as a friend, as my go to person.

lauperak asked:

SO! Sergei or Robert? ;DDDDDDDDD

;w; ♥ I like and dislike you so much right now. I know I shouldn´t have mentioned stuff when Zadien talked about those two, just we talked about it just recently. Uh. Well I´m currently torn between these two. Robert has always been in my top 3-5 because I really just fell for him the moment I saw him in that old beyblade game for playstation. Guess who squeeled when he appeared on that ship in the anime? -_-

Sergei I started to really like just recently because a certain someone RPed him so well ~ I like how he´s actually smart while people tend to think he isn´t because he´s not very vocal. To me, he isn´t the big, strong, brainless guy most see him as. I think things like “like” and “love” would difficult for him though, but I see myself as a very caring person. Perhaps he´d open up after me being a motherhen and worrywart about him for some time? The thought of being held by him ;3; He´s so big and strong he could break my neck with one hand, it´d be special if you were held gently in those arms.

I can´t see myself fit into Robert´s lifestyle as a noble to be honest, and I know his gentleman ways would make me very uncomfortable. I wouldn´t want him to get things for me, treat me very much like a girl. I do love his castle though (I sound like a gold digger!!). No, I´m really interested in castles and history in general. I can see us two being able to talk, and hang out.

I´d pick… Sergei