I don’t have a lot of serious issues to complain about in my life but I do know what it’s like to have really shitty parents and I know what it’s like to drag yourself out of the hole you wanted to bury yourself in because you just didn’t want to see morning again and what this all boils down to is that I am so fucking glad I can talk to my siblings while reminding myself how lucky I am to have them around. Even if things were awful for a really long time and even if I won’t ever speak to my parents again at least I know I still have them.
Blurred out my panties (which were really cute but wasn’t comfortable with showing Tumblr) and my mess of a room. But here’s my body today, this beautiful morning. If you think I have a long way to go then you are right. I don’t know if I’ve lost weight because I’m still far too scared of the scale. Especially because I’ve been eating crap for quite some time. But I want to keep reminding myself and make sure I track my own process as well. Good day all of you!
You know what, I know I bitch and whine a lot about my Loner Dash blog but I will admit, I DO like the story I had planned for it…I just wish I had the power to draw super quickly so I could regularly update ALL my blogs. It’s hard to even update just ONE blog. :< Because I also have commissions going on and I’m trying to earn a bit of money for myself.
Just sucks when you DO want to work on something but just don’t have the time, or can’t physically do everything at once, you feel me?
As you guys can see for the mess my blog has been this past week, well it was not a good week at all, every single bad emotion i felt kept accumulating until a few hours ago where i just couldn’t hold it anymore. I am not sure what is happening with me, but i just want to thank you for taking your time and sent me a message because you were worried. i am sorry i didn’t reply to the majority of them but i read them, every single one of them and i am absolutely thankful and i am sorry you guys have to keep up with all this mess. But thank you for staying with me and for supporting me and taking care of me when i can’t. It means a lot and i need to remind myself that i am not alone. I wish i could hug you.
Once upon a time when I was just a girl trying to find a place in this world, a blonde haired girl taught me the true meaning of Fearless. She reminded me that I can face my doubts and fears with the strength I was born with. I looked into the face of those who hurt me and I told them they are not sorry. People were mean, but that’s okay now, because I grabbed my keys and found a big old city far enough away. I learned that I can live with all of those doubts that scare me to death and I can fight over and over again for what I believe in and it’s always important to have faith that the bad times will change, I will remember that forever and always. Now I find myself at the next chapter in my life as I begin again but I remind myself to never grow up. I am safe and sound now, no one can hurt me or my family anymore, but I will always remember the rainy days all too well.
taylorswift, thank you for everything. Without you, I wouldn’t be me.
hey ally, i need some words of wisdom! i'm feeling a little lost at the moment. i dropped out of uni about 2 weeks ago due to stress and feeling overwhelmed, and i just wasn't enjoying my course, but i have a part time job so its ok for now. i just can't help feeling like i'm failing and that i'm not going to achieve anything because i'm not at uni as everyone else my age is. i've switched courses a couple of time at uni and i can't seem to find anything i genuinely enjoy. help a sister out??
‘COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY’
I remind myself of this quote about three times every day, because it is the root of all suffering. If nobody else you knew was at uni or appeared confident with their life together, you wouldn’t feel as insecure, right? It’s only because you’re comparing yourself and your decisions to those of others that you start to doubt yourself.
Don’t worry about what anyone else is doing. Others might be completely miserable, looking to you and wishing they had your same bravery or ability to go after what you want.
There is no single path to success, nor happiness. We each venture on our own journeys, which have millions of forks and twists and turns, but can take us anywhere we want to go.
All you need to focus on is what will make you happy, healthy and fulfilled in life. Let those three priorities drive your every mood and don’t give a second thought to what anyone else is doing. Keep your eyes on your own paper :)
//To me, Sakura is such a special character. I remember seeing her on tv for the very first time when I was 6, and ever since I just looked up to her, always defended her and loved her. I had bought a kimono at a festival one time, it was red with chinese designs on it, well, as you can imagine I wore it all the time, along with my leaf ninja headband. That’s how much she means to me. This post isn’t about Gaiden, because I have faith in Kishimoto, but I will say this; Sakura reminds me of myself so much, but also my mom, in Gaiden especially. My father left my mother before I was even born. So, like Sakura, my mother was a single-mom. It takes guts, skills, and hard work to be a single parent. I’m not really upset with the chapter, because I know what it feels like, yeah it sucks, a lot, especially with being a hardcore SS fan, but I know Sakura, and I know she is a strong willed person and knows more than we know yet.
ANYWAY, the main point of this post is that It’s basically a Sakura praise post. She has been through hell and back, in her own way. Has cried so many tears and had her forehead mocked when she was younger. But, she is so special. She basically parallel’s old Team 7′s Rin Nohara, looks and acts just like Kushina Uzumaki, is known as the miniature Tsunade, and even resembles Mikoto Uchiha in a few ways. My favorite female characters in Naruto are Sakura, Kushina, Tsunade, Konan, and Rin. And to know that Sakura is just like 3 of them, with an extra, makes me so happy. I’m proud to be a Sakura fan, and will always be, no matter the hate pictures, or text posts, or anything. I will always stand my ground and defend my role model. Because, that is what this pink haired Queen is.
Salaam Alaykum. I need help. I feel so fed up with life sometimes. It really gets me down, literally just anything and everything. Somedays I'm happy, but most days I'm just constantly finding myself feeling really depressed. I just want to cry all the time. What can I do. I just don't see any good coming my way. I know it's wrong to be pessimistic but I don't know what to do anymore. If suicide wasn't haraam, I would have departed from this world a while ago..
Wa-alaikum as-salaam, I hope you’re okay. It’s okay for you to feel down sometimes. Take it as a reminder that this world is filled with hardship and imperfections, because it’s a temporary test.
Please don’t lose hope in good coming your way. Difficulties are tests on us. You have to believe that Allah will get you out of this. For the problems that can be solved in this world, Allah will help you find the solution. For those things that you can’t fix in this world - remember that what is waiting for you in the akhirah is going to be so amazing that when you see it, if anyone was to ask you how your life was, you would swear that you never even went through a single difficult day in your life. That is the beauty of Jannah!
You can’t think about suicide and leaving this world. Don’t let those thoughts come to you and don’t let Shaytan make you forget that Allah tests those He loves the most! Thinking about ending things that way isn’t right and isn’t what you really want. Please don’t think that way because you’re too loved by Allah to ever think like that.
Maybe this difficulty is the thing that will push you to get closer to Allah and then that could be the reason that one day, you’re given the most beautiful reward in Jannah!
I’ve got a few videos for you to watch below, PLEASE watch them (trust me)
Please feel free to message me anytime things are getting difficult for you, or if you feel ready to talk about what is making your life difficult for you then my inbox is always open iA.
I’ll make dua for you - and i’m sure anyone else reading this will make dua for you too. May Allah make your test easier for you and bring you closer to Him in a way that will bring true happiness and contentment to your life here and in the hereafter. Ameen!
I hope you realize how much I despise my bed right now. It just reminds me of how much love we shared in there: the way your hands crawl through my hair, the way you kiss my neck that I suddenly feel the way you breathe; it seems you are taking your time because you know that no one can interfere us, the way your lips run through my ears whispering how grateful and blessed you are that we have each other. I was so happy because whenever I am with you, I don’t need to be anyone else just to impress you. All I have to do is just to be myself because then I thought this is what you wanted from the very first start.
I could still see the memories we shared: the cuddles, the movie marathons, and late night conversations. I could still smell your fresh perfume all along in the blankets and pillows. Whenever I lay down, all I can possibly think is that it was perfect back then, it was so unstoppable. But one thing it taught me is that even the things we thought are unstoppable, can be ruined in just a single moment. I almost thought it was my home but I realized it was just another abandon place.
i always have to remind myself at around 3pm (its 3:02pm rn) that things are okay and fine im cool everything is chill because ive had 2-4 coffees by now and ive been up for 10 hours already and have 6 more to go i really need to motivate myself all the time to keep doing me its so hard man why is life so difficult i really try to get 8 hours of sleep every night but that requieres me to go to bed immediately once i get home man what but its ok im fine its alright
I just wanted to share something i hope you can give me advise about it. So im almost turning 18 and sometimes it bothers me to think why i dont have boyfriend yet and get envy seeing couples everywhere but well i always have sorts of a reminder to myself that "things worth having are things worth waiting" and I know God is in control and in His time but there time when some guys who some kind of like me but tend to shut the door because its not yet the right time to be in a relationship.
I was in this position just a year ago (funny how so much can change in just a year!). I wondered why all of the girls my age were either dating, courting, being pursued, being admired, and so forth. I am not your typical girly girl, more of a tomboy so I could kind of understand the logic guys might have, but it still hurt. Here’s what happened though, God being so good.
I stopped looking side to side and started looking up. Can I get an Amen?
Even though my relationship with God has been really really really bumpy, I realized that there is no point in throwing myself a pity party every night about some couple I know nothing about. A person I know once said this, “Don’t compare your background story to someone’s highlight reel.” Snapping forever. That is the truth and the sooner you and I realize that, the better for our souls and mindsets.
As I answered in this ask and this ask, waiting is the best thing you can do unless God lays out a red carpet for the chosen one to your heart. Don’t chase, let HIM come to you. In the meantime, prepare yourself for the world, for your husband, for God. Focus on becoming a better person and stop worrying about who’s doing what and where they’re doing it. Sad singles always see happy couples and sad couples always see happy singles. The bottom line is this: no one really ever knows someone’s full story, don’t compare, just live in Christ.
Check out some of my other posts about this matter and preparing yourself. I usually answer questions on relationships, dating, and so forth so I write a lot of posts about it.
That's okay, I'll remind you that your not a waste of space. It doesn't matter that some certain people in your life are negative because I'm sure u have friends who miss you so very much. And even if not, be confident and strong about yourself and know that your life matters.
i know i do have friends, but my life is just a series of bad decisions and i always do something stupid all the time and i just hate myself so much for being so useless all the damn time.. but i’ll try not to think like that anon i’m really sorry
Although I can imagine that Taylor will try to meet as many of us as possible (and I will be fangirling with the ones who do as much as anyone else/daydreaming about getting the opportunity myself), here´s a reminder that seeing Taylor live, interacting with her online, feeling like you are a better person because of her existence and music, and being alive at the same time as her, are all pretty remarkable, wonderful experiences as well. Remember to be grateful for and excited about what you already have.
somebody asked if i have ever been in love and how many times and i said 4
no more no less
i fell in love 4 times
at 15 i fell in love with an empty bottle of jack because thats exactly how i was
cigarette in hand and my left arm scratched with lines going in every direction spilling out crimson
a shiny little blade now stained red because of me reminding me that i ruin everything pretty even myself
at 16 i fell in love with the end of joint taking in all of it beautiful components making me somewhat happy for a short while
another cigarette in hand and my left arm somewhat healed but the scars still remind me of the open wounds
a constant reminder of what i was going back to after my high went away
at 17 i fell in love with pill
a pretty blue pill that made everybody and anything beautiful
that made their voices feel like silk sheets against my bare skin and their touch like feel like a thousands of tiny kisses all over my body making my stomach flip in every which way direction and sparking up a feeling that i never knew existed
cigarette in hand and my left arm completely healed
at 17 i fell in love with a boy who looked at my scars and called me his little tiger
saying i earned my stripes and will amount to great and better things
at 17 i fell in love with a boy who would cheat and come home to me at the end of the day and lay in my bed next to me and touch me in the same places he touched her before
at 17 i then again fell in love with a empty bottle of jack and maybe a few more other bottles
but i could never remember the other ones because they were never as good as jack
at 18 i fell in love with nothing
bc everything i once loved was all a lie
the empty bottle of jack was now full while i was still empty
the scars on my left arm still haunted me and remind me of how dumb i was
the cigarette that was in my hand always burned out and ended
the high from the blunt was now just a quick 3min trip to happy land and back
the beautiful little blue pill that once made me love everybody
made me see every bodies demons and see the worst in people and make me hate then more
the boy i fell in love with calls me at 2am saying i was nothing but just a good fuck
saying that all i was really good for was my body and nothing more
bc i was nothing
in every sense
at 18 i fell in love with the constant heartbreak and my constant fuck ups
somebody asked me if i have ever been in love and how many times…
and i said 4
I keep failing and failing while I watch my friends succeed. I come so close just to see success slip from my grasp. I hate that I can't be happy for my friends because I, myself, am not happy.
Same here. I get jealous of my friends from time to time. They’re amazing. I wouldn’t really say any of us is successful now because we’re all still studying but at the rate we’re going, I seem to be falling behind. If I think about it this way, I would start to ask myself what really is the point and that’s not healthy. So I remind myself that every good thing that happens to them is something that they deserve and that makes it easier for me to be happy for them. It also helps to think that when I have my own problems, they also have their problems that I would never experience therefore would never understand.
Remembering that there’s a certain something I continue to pray to Jehovah about and do my best to remember in his due time, it will happen. He’s never late and his timing is perfect. Mine is flawed and I always want things to happen right away but now is not the time. Reminds me of Hannah and her prayer to Jehovah. She left things in His hands and patiently waited and in time, she was blessed with a son and later had more children. Definitely of encouragement to me to remember Jehovah will make sure things happen but I must do my part. Have faith, rely, continuously pray, and do not stress myself out but leave things in His hands because I can’t do anything. With that said, I bid you all goodnight. Sweet dreams and I love you! Always in my prayers! :D xo
16 miles at 4am! I’ve been beating myself up this week because I’ve had a harder time hitting paces on specific workouts, but I’m trying to remind myself that I had a really hard effort at Saturday’s race, and it’s okay to do some extra easy mileage. Besides, what’s that saying? Train “slow” to race “fast.” (Slow and fast in quotations, because it’s all relative, and I’m in no way implying that this is slow). Other than all of that, I’m starting to really enjoy these 4am runs. It’s nice having the roads completely to myself, and I can run the second half on a trail and watch the sun rise over the mountains.
Today is going to be another long day. I have work this morning, and then I have a bunch of primate awareness week events to attend. Since I’m getting my MSc in primatology, it’s kind of important that I attend. They should be interesting, at least.
For the past few weeks I have been rushing myself, rushing progress. Getting beyond frustrated because I want to go 0-10 immediately. 😖😖
Control. I had to remember that Gods Blessings do not work on my schedule, but on a perfect schedule. Perfect timing. I had to be reminded that many of times when things did not come through right away, they were never late!
I have to be patient with myself as I try to pursue certain goals. A lot of growth is needed and developing. We all have to be groomed for our next season, so we are prepared.
✨‼️Rather, you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All glory to him, both now and forever! Amen. (2 Peter 3:18 NLT)‼️✨
Guess I better, slow myself and enjoy the process. In due time, I’ll blossom even more!🌟🌟
i have had a hard time lately with school and im extremely terrified of the possibility of expulsion (which is a very good possibility at this point) because of low grades.
i have to remind myself that school doesn’t define me, just because i have absolutely no will to go to classes i find boring and intellectually exhausting (THEY’RE NOT STIMULATING AT ALL) and i dont have the focus to pay attention in classes that don’t stimulate me, doesn’t make me any less intelligent.
i am so terrified and it feels like my entire life is out of control.
For those of you who are unaware I have an eating disorder, I say have because even though I quit it about half a year ago, I still want to throw up all the time and I can’t help it, I feel fat and gross and miserable all the time and I just want to remind myself and anyone else who needs it
It is ok to think about doing it again
It’s ok to want to
It’s not ok to give up on yourself if you’ve quit because it is so hard and you shouldn’t let all that work go to waste