because these photos never get old




FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF with the lightest most PG mention of sex

Originally posted by sugasuite

masterlist | ask

Keep reading

dokurochrome  asked:

Twitter compliment war whatever will you do when I ask for this? Oh noooo

Twitter War

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
doesn’t get bedhair. His hair is always perfect, I don’t know if this upsets me or pleases me.

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
If anyone is wondering, @yuurikatsuki has the most adorable bed hair. It is just so soft and pure.

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
is allergic to cats.

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
Yes @yuri-plisetsky, @v-nikiforov still agrees to cat-sit even though he is allergic.

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
@yuurikatsuki likes pineapple on his pizza. It is so scandalous.

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
dips his fries in his ice-cream

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov 
Lingerie @yuurikatsuki

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
Heels @v-nikiforov

Yuri Plisetsky @yuri-plisetsky
@yuurikatsuki @v-nikiforov Those better not be kinks, or I swear to god!

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
@yuri-plisetsky idolises @yuurikatsuki! Yuuri was his celebrity crush!

Yuri Plisetsky @yuri-plisetsky
@v-nikiforov You are a deadman!

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
loves cuddles! Especially with @v-nikiforov! I have proof!
(Photo attached of Victor and Yuri curled up on the couch together watching the Cup of China that year because none of them were competing. Victor gently braiding Yuri’s hair while the teen ranted about something)

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
@yuurikatsuki! Take that down immediately!

Yuri Plisetsky @yuri-plisetsky
@yuurikatsuki HOW DID YOU GET THAT!

Otabek Altin @otabek-altin
I’ve never seen @yuri-plisetsky look so relaxed! Thank you @yuurikatsuki for that photo!

Yuri Plisetsky @yuri-plisetsky
@otabek-altin NO!

Christophe Giacometti @christophe-gc
The love couple of skating are having a twitter war! @v-nikiforov @yuurikatsuki

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
has spoiled Makkachin rotten. The old girl gets steaks for dinner every Tuesday.

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
@yuurikatsuki isn’t a morning person. He is all cuddly before his morning coffee!

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
not only snores by also sleep-talks

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
talked about selling all his medals to @phichit+chu for photos of me

Phichit Chulanont @phichit+chu
I would take that offer @v-nikiforov @yuurikatsuki

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
The other week @v-nikiforov talked about waxing and shaving and how he is jealous of @christophe-gc legs

Christophe Giacometti @christophe-gc
Oh, @v-nikiforov, messages me if you ever need shaving tips ;)

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov 
@yuurikatsuki snorts when he laughs

Phichit Chulanont @phichit+chu
Can confirm @yuurikatsuki snorts when he laughs. @v-nikiforov

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
(Photo attached of Victor crying while holding a poodle puppy against his chest)

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
@yuurikatsuki how dare you use puppies against me!

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
(Photo attached of a red nosed Victor cuddling Yuri’s cat)

Yuri Plisetsky @yuri-plisetsky
@yuurikatsuki you weren’t kidding, what a moron @v-nikiforov

Christophe Giacometti @christophe-gc
I think you are losing

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov 
@yuurikatsuki @christophe-gc I am not going to lose! 
(Photo attached of Yuuri doing yoga on the ground with Makkachin all over him)

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki 
(Photo attached of Yuuri planting a kiss on Victor’s cheek in a selfie)

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
I love you

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov 
I am now dead! You killed me @yuurikatsuki

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
I win <3

Twitter War AU


how to fall back in love with your first love: go slow, get to know each other again without keeping time, try new routes, but don’t be afraid to revisit old ones - they’re comfortable. go unreasonably fast, go all the way, run at sunset, change the scenery, stop to pet dogs, stop to take photos of the beautiful earth, smile at the people you pass, run in the shoes you always swore you’d never wear, run once a week and don’t even think about lacing up the other six days, swear you’re done with this sport but catch yourself smiling as you run up your least favorite hill because even though it doesn’t define you anymore, it doesn’t measure you, it can’t break you - you’re still the most You you’ll ever be when you’re running.

Mine (part 2 of Hers)

This is part 2 to this imagine. Hope you enjoy it!

You know one of the worst things about being in love with your best friend? You can’t just get away from them. It’s like even if you’re sure that ignoring them will be helpful, they just won’t take it.

Since that night, a month ago, I’ve been doing everything in my power to get away from Harry. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him out of my life forever, but just for a little while so I can try and get over him. Because now he’s engaged, and trust me, the world doesn’t let me forget this.

Although I’ve been busy with work – or at least that’s what I tell Harry to avoid him – the world seems to get against me all the time. Fans bombarding my twitter with questions about his engagement and how I feel about it, Harry and Lexa on the cover of every magazine, Louis texting me every day asking me how I am doing, Anne complaining I haven’t been to their family reunion on weekends… It’s tough to ignore this whole thing when it seems it’s out to get me.

Harry knows something is wrong. I don’t think he realizes how hurt I am by his decision to get married to Lexa, but he definitely knows something is wrong. He keeps texting me, saying he misses me and that he wants me to be part of his wedding. So far, I’m not even sure if I’ll go to the damn thing.

Will you be free this weekend? Mom said she’ll be giving a small get together and that she misses you. H

Not sure. Working and all that.

Why are you so distant?

I’ve already told you, I’m working. Big project.

I’ll be honest and say I miss him. Probably more than I should. I miss his hugs, I miss his voice, his smile, his mesmerizing green eyes, his way of making me smile by only looking at me. I miss him. But I also feel angry. Harry is probably the smartest person I know and yet he doesn’t realize the mistake he’s making. Lexa doesn’t get him like I do, she probably doesn’t care for him as much as I do and definitely doesn’t love him like I do. I guess I am just angry at myself, at the end of the day. I could have had him. It took me too long to tell him my feelings and he moved on. No, to someone to move on from someone there has to be feelings involved and I’m pretty sure he never had those feelings for me.

It hurts, most of all. It’s hard to ignore the aching feeling in my heart, especially when I don’t know how to get rid of it. I’ve been on dates the past weeks, dates that went nowhere. That ended with me in my couch, a bottle of wine, old photos of Harry and me and many tears. Tears because I miss those times when we’re inseparable, when it was us against the world. I miss those times when I knew I could tell him everything. I miss his comfort after heartbreak. But how can I go to him when the reason I am so devastated is him? Is the fact that he loves someone else, that he is about to vow infinity love for someone is not me. Is the fact that even though he knows me so well, he can’t see how this is breaking me. He is about to be forever hers and all I wish was for him to give me a chance to make him mine. He can’t fix me when he’s the one who broke me.  

I knew I shouldn’t, it would only make things worse. So I don’t how I ended up sitting in my car, on Anne’s driveway. I should turn around and go back to my house, but a part of me didn’t want to. I miss everyone, they’re like family to me. And, most of all, I miss him. I know very well that for my own sake I should turn around and run, so why am I walking towards the door?

“Y/N, it’s so good to see you, my darling! I missed you! How are you doing?” Anne hugged me tight and I couldn’t help the smile that this hug brought to my face. I miss her more than anything.  

“I’m ok. Working a lot.” I let go of her and we headed to her living room. Everyone was there: Gemma, the boys, Lou, Lux and, of course, Harry and Lexa. He looks amazing and my breath was caught in my through as soon as he headed my way.

“Where have you been hiding?!” He hugged me and I let him hold me to his chest. Gosh, how I missed this. Missed him so close to me. I almost forgot everyone else, but the hug was shortly broken by Gemma.

“Sis, it’s so good to see you. How’s work? How’s life?” She hugged me.

After saying hello to everyone, Gemma, Louis and I went to the kitchen to grab some more wine to the others.

“How you doing?” Louis asked me once we were out of reach.

“I drink a lot, I cry a lot and I work a lot.” I was honest with them. Gemma looked at me with sadness in her eyes and I knew she wanted nothing more than to me and her brother to get together and be happy.

“He misses you.” Louis told me. “He doesn’t know why you’re pulling away and it’s breaking him that you’re so distant.”

I felt a knot in my through and I knew if I keep talking about it, I’ll lose it. I’ll crumble in a ball of hysterical cries and that would cause a lot of trouble. I took the wine bottle and went back to the kitchen, to see Lexa showing Anne pictures of wedding dresses she has been trying on. Anne looked like she couldn’t care less for what her future to be daughter-in-law was saying, but the scene itself was enough to halt me in place.

It was real. He really was getting married. She was already looking at dresses. I think a part of me always thought he was going to change his mind, or maybe this whole thing was some kind of sick joke.

“Oh, Y/N, Lexa wants you to help with her dress too.” Harry smiled at me, oblivious to the hurt his words caused.

“Hm, maybe some other time.” My voice didn’t sound like myself, it sounded robotic. “I need to go now. Got a call from the office.”

“Wait, what?” He asked confused. “You just got here. And today is Sunday, you can’t possibly work on a Sunday!”

“Well, it’s very possible and I need to get going.” I was out the door before I could even hear anything else.

I drove back home with tears rolling down my face and a broken heart. I lost him forever.

If I had stayed that night, I would’ve known about the fight that took place right after I left. I would’ve known how pissed off Harry was with my behavior and I would know what unfolded after Gemma decided to just through every truth at him.

If I had stayed, I wouldn’t be face to face with a very angry Harry, standing in the middle of my living room.

“YOU LOVE ME?” He asked looking at me from across the room.

“Of course I love you, you’re my best friend and…” I tried to get out of the situation, but I could see I wasn’t convincing him.

“Oh please, Gemma told me everything. How you’ve been in love with me for 3 years and not said a damn word about it. How you’ve ran away from my party not because you’re not feeling well as you told me, but because I got engaged. How you’ve been ignoring me on purpose to get rid of your feelings for me. Why did I have to hear this from my sister, Y/n? Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was near a whisper at the end of his rant and he looked devastated.

“I-I-I…” I took a deep breath and turned away from him. “I was afraid of losing you for good. When I first realized my feelings, I didn’t know how to deal with it. How was I supposed to tell you? I’ve known you my whole life, Harry! But the boys kept on telling me to talk to you. Do you remember that day 3 years ago?” I turned around to meet with his green eyes watching my every move. “When you told me you met Lexa?”

“Of course. It was the day you told me you were coming home and…” He stopped. I could see the wheels turning in his head; I knew he understood what I wanted to say.

“I was going to confess my feelings for you that day. But you were so happy about her… I couldn’t ruin this for you. So I decided it was time for me to come home, for me to move on from you.”

“But you never did.” He whispered.

“No. It’s harder to get over you than it looks like.” I sat on my couch, feeling completely defeated with this whole conversation. “Why are you so pissed off, Haz? Yes, I do love you and I am trying to get over you. Eventually it will happen. I’m not gonna lie and say that right now I’m happy with your wedding, because God knows I don’t think she’s right for you. But if you’re happy, than so am I. I just need time to get over my feelings for you, that’s all.”

“Why am I so pissed off?!” Harry suddenly was angry again. “You didn’t tell me anything. You completely shut me out, I was left in the dark for too long. For Christ sake, I am your best friend, you should tell me this things! So now, not only did I lose my future wife, I’m afraid I’ll lose my best friend.”

“Wait, what?” I looked up at his hooded eyes, feeling my heart pick up the rate. What does he mean with lost his future wife?

As if reading my thoughts, he took the wedding ring he gave Lexa from his pocket and showed to me. The beautiful diamond was shining in the dim lights and I could barely believe my own eyes.

“Harry, what did you do? Why are you with her bloody ring?”

“Because if you had told me you loved me, I would never have stayed with Lexa in the first place!” He sat beside me and took my hand in his. “I always loved you, Y/N. Gosh, always have and always will! I spent so many years loving you, and when I realized you would never love me back, I decided to move on, y’know? Lexa was a great girl, but she wasn’t you. I cared for her, and since I believed I would never love someone as much as I love you, I thought she could be the next best thing, I guess. Gosh, Y/N, I love you so so so much it hurts.”

At first, I thought I was dreaming. Harry was confessing his feelings for me and it has to be a dream. But when his hands found my neck and his lips found my lips, I knew this was actually happening. And it was better than every dream I ever had in my entire life.

“Now, I need to hear your answer even though I know what’s gonna be. Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” He smiled at me and in that moment I knew everything was finally fitting into places.

“We went through all of this for you STILL have to ask me that?” I rolled my eyes and straddled his lap. “Of course, you idiot.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see the others reaction.” He laughed and kissed me again. “But first, let me show you exactly how much I love you.”

And just like that, he carried me to my room, for the first of many nights together.


I hope you’ve liked this. Please, leave me your thoughts about this oneshot, talk to me pleeease. Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language!

All the love, B.


At Peace (langst)

I should be updating my Sockathan story on Wattpad but I’m not feeling so hot so have some langst.

~ songfic kinda ~

+ I’m pretty much going to be posting langst or Oikawa angst (Tangst?) when I’m in a shit mood so get ready for that +

Lance was used to being rejected; by girls and boys alike.

So he should have seen this coming. He should have been prepared for this. But no, his hopes were high and he’d thought his feelings were -finally- reciprocated. He thought he had a chance and damn it if I don’t admit it. He was desperate.

I don’t know if we should be alone together 

He was desperate for attention, and love, and the chance to finally be accepted by somebody. Anybody. A chance to have something to live for again. A chance to be able to breathe again without the thought of his worthlessness crossing his mind and settling in a nice, quaint spot labeled “REASONS TO DIE”. The cringe is real, no matter how you think of it, but Lance can’t find it in himself to care anymore, about anything.

His constant quips usually spoken -sometimes even shouted- in a flurry of passion, are now most times left unsaid, or muttered at most.

He was hoping for a miracle.

I still got a crush, that’s obvious

“Hey, Keithy boy,” Lance chirped with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. 

Keith turned to face the blue paladin, a small smile playing on his lips. “Hey, Lance,” he replied happily.

You seem unusually chipper today, Lance thought to himself.

Suddenly. Keith chuckled, startling Lance out of his ‘thought’. 

The brunette covered his lips with his hand, eyes blown wide. “Did I say that out loud?”

If nobody’s around, what’s stopping us?
Everywhere I go you show, whatever

“You sure did, Lancelot. D’ya wanna know why I’m so ‘chipper’?“ Keith asked with a slight giddiness in his tone.

“Uhm, sure?” Okay, Lance. After he tells you whatever the fuck he’s so happy about -which is making him 100% cuter and I cannot stand it- I’ll tell him I love him, and we’ll live happily ever after.

With the widest smile I’ve ever seen, on Keith no less, Keith gushed out, “Shiro and I finally started dating!”

I don’t ever mind sharing oxygen
I just wanna get lost in your lungs

I spoke far too soon. “T-That’s great, Keith!” What did I think I could accomplish? “I hope you guys are happy together!” Of course Keith would go for Shiro. “Well, I gotta go u-uh, t-train now, so see ya!” He’s perfect.

Lance began to turn away from Keith. “Wait!” The red paladin demanded, grabbing the other’s arm and keeping him in place. “Did you need to talk about something, Lance? Are you okay?”

Just a baby, but she’s growing up so fast
And I’m allergic to the waiting

“O-Of course I am! I’m the jester, the class clown, the humour back bone of the team! Who needs feeling when you have the best sense of humour known to man?” The dark haired teenager announced, his chest puffed out and his eyes full of a dark hope. Please don’t call me out on my bullshit, I need to be out of here yesterday.

Thank god Keith’s dense as hell. “Alright Lance, whatever you say,” he chuckled and released his arm.

She’s just a baby girl
And I love to watch her dance

Tears left Lance’s eyes before he even finished turning, thankfully he didn’t notice but.

That didn’t stop Shiro from noticing, who now was in front of Lance. “Lance,” the black paladin whispered, his eyes shone with concern. “Are you alright? What happened?”

Shiro reached out to touch Lance’s shoulder, but he wasn’t having it. Tanned hands pushed on Shiro’s chest, pushing him -surprisingly- a few feet away, and in the next moment, Lance was out the door, leaving the new couple in shock.

But it’s making me go crazy

In the next few months, Lance got by in a mixture of disarray and monotone. Lotor was taken down, along with the Galra empire. The new head of said empire agreed on a peace treaty and most of the universe now lived in peace. 

Voltron was not needed anymore. And so, the team was left to their own devices. 

Pidge and Matt, the only Holts left, went on to create new, advanced machinery to help Earth evolve technologically.

Keith and Shiro went to a quiet inhabited planet, where there was a drug that could evolve the bodies of men in order to conceive, so the two can start a family. 

I don’t think that we should be around each other
When you’re in the room, you get my eyes
You open your mouth, I’m hypnotized, oh oh
I can make you laugh until you cry

Allura and Coran and the castle went on to rebuild the Altean empire. 

Hunk went home to Earth, with his family. He offered Lance a spot on his small ship to get home, but he declined, claiming he had to do something before going home.

Which, of course, was a lie. Because Lance has a secret he never told anyone, and that secret was that Lance has no family. 

The photo he showed everyone so proudly? Photo-shopped. His stories of his many siblings? MTV and YouTube. His emergency contacts on his profile back at the Garrison? His supposed nostalgia? His strict parental control? His life? All fake. All a fantasy Lance had built in his head when his real parents dumped him on the side of the road at 9-years-old because he broke his arm and couldn’t work on the farm anymore. 

You know you got all my attention
You know you got all mine, mmh

He had nothing to go back to. No purpose. No one waiting for him. No one to miss and love him. 

What was he supposed to do now? Go back to the Garrison? No, it wasn’t worth it if Pidge and Hunk weren’t there. 

What else was there? 

Lance sat in his space pod in the middle of space for hours before he realized, there’s nothing else.

Lance spent a few more hours of thinking about what he planned to do next. How would it affect the others? Will they come back? How will they react?

Baby, I can’t help but call her dad
Even though I shouldn’t say it 

In the back of his mind, one thought lingered: will they even care?

The ex-paladin of Voltron decided that his choice was the right one, and carried out his plan. 

He spent the next few hours filming a personal video for every member of the team. Even Matt. 

She was my baby girl
I might never get her back
But I don’t mind being patient, yeah

Can you let your baby be my girl?

But he didn’t dare send them yet. No, he had to send them at the very last second. 

Because he needed time to himself. He needed to prepare himself. He needed to find one, just one reason for him not to follow through with his decision. 

He couldn’t find any.

Can you let your baby be my girl?
Can you let your baby be my girl?
Can you let your baby be mine? 

With a tear rolling down his cheek, Lance sent all of the video’s to their respective person’s. Hopefully, they all get them.

Okay, I’m just gonna tell you what I gotta say, right here
I’m sorry Dave, I never meant to hurt your baby girl
She’s your little baby, she’s my soulmate

The broken boy put on his helmet, and with a deep breath, opened the door that separated him from endless space.

Location didn’t mean a thing to him, as he never truly had place to call home.

I don’t want you to worry, she’ll be so safe right here
Oh, oh, oh, so Dave, would you let your baby be my girl?

Can you let your baby be my girl?

More tears poured from his eyes, as Lance took deep breaths, and let his decision sink in entirely. He had no regrets.

Can you let your baby be my girl?
Can you let your baby be my girl?
Can you let your baby be mine? 

Lance sniffled, and although he couldn’t wipe his tears, he steadied them, pulling one last strong face. With his messages sent, his loved one gone, and nothing holding him back, the broken soldier, the brave face took his final breath. Finally, he reached up to his helmet and disengaged it, sucking the oxygen out. 

One last tear fell from his face as Lance’s final sight became apparent: the blue lion, engines blasting, rushing over to her dear paladin as the final remnants of air left his lungs, and Lance found:

that he was finally at peace.

Oh, your baby she’s mine


I’m so sorry. I was just supposed to blow off some steam but… I related to Lance. His loneliness, his perception of love, and his lack of anger. 

Rage, irritation, grief: they can’t be felt anymore.

Anyways, I was planning on writing a fic for each of the videos… what do you think? (Imma do it anyways lmao)

I hope you enjoyed this… 

Someone asked me recently how to get over someone that was never truly yours. And I’m not sure how to answer that question. Because there is no closure, no moment of relief, no acceptance of what has come and gone. You don’t get to take down the photos and delete the messages. You don’t get to give away his old sweater and rip apart the ticket stubs. There is nothing there. Nothing to hold onto and nothing to let go of. No birthday cards and no anniversary presents, no roses or valentines chocolates, no favorite songs and no go-to date night movies. There’s nothing there. Nothing at all. It’s just one giant “what if”. And I still haven't figured out how to let go of the “what ifs”.
—  f.a.w
On Maggie Sawyer and snapbacks

It always struck me how Maggie says she lived with “an aunt” for three years rather than “my aunt”. Maggie’s aunt took her in because yes, kicking her out was a harsh move on her parents’ part, and yes, no child should have to live on the street, and Maggie’s always been a good girl even if she is…that way. But will she put up with that nonsense in her house? Hell no.

So their relationship is very conditional. Her aunt takes care of her, cooks her favourite meals when she misses home, tends to her grazes when she gets beat up at school. She loves her. But she doesn’t accept her. Every night she prays for her, every other week she asks if Maggie’s met any nice boys at soccer, and when Maggie wears baseball caps at the table, she tugs them off her head and groans, “Ay, mija, te ves como un chico”.

But Maggie’s desperate, and she’s grateful, so she toes the line, studying every night until she falls asleep at the kitchen table. She gets a partial scholarship to college, gets in early at 17, and it’s there that she meets the first openly queer people she’s ever seen in her life. The first time a girl kisses her, in the dark at a movie, she cries because this is wrong, I’m wrong, yet she’s never felt anything come so naturally to her, and her heart flutters without permission, and when Holly’s thumb grazes her cheek, something inside her finally unclenches its fists.

She starts sleeping over in Holly’s dorm and, naturally, starts borrowing her clothes. She’s never had the freedom to experiment with her style, living on cousins’ hand me downs and already walking Blue Springs with a target on her back. At first she only wears Holly’s red flannel to bed - never out - because what if somebody hurts her again, what if this time she doesn’t make it out alive. And while Maggie thinks Holly looks cute as hell with that shirt tied around her waist, a lifetime of racism tells her only pretty blonde white girls can pull off that look anyway, that she could never rock it even if she tried.

But eventually, Maggie gets the courage to wear it to thanksgiving dinner at the campus LGBT centre, clenching Holly’s hand the whole way there. Soon after, Holly catches her toying with an old hat in her room and buys Maggie her first snapback for Christmas, complete with a National City Giants logo in honour of the city she wants to work in someday. It takes a while for Maggie to get used to wearing it, but once she does, slipping it over her head feels as warm and empowering and terrifying as Holly holding her hand.

Years later, Alex comes across an old hiking photo of Maggie and another friend, and laughs “Oh my God.”

Maggie groans, blushes. “Give me a break, it was college.”

“No, it’s adorable. You were such a cute baby gay.”

And Maggie can’t help but smile a little. Because yeah, she’s outgrown the snapbacks and found better fitting flannels, but she’ll never forget those years experimenting with how she presented herself, figuring out who she was. How throwing on a snapback made her feel brave on days she felt she didn’t have the strength to be brave. How she’d notice a girl in similar clothes on campus and give her a knowing smile that said ‘I see you’.

“Yeah,” she chuckles, smiling down on the photo in Alex’s hands, feeling a swell of pride for her younger self as intense as pain. “Yeah, I guess I was.”

@sanvershcs @onefootone  @all-the-gay-feels @queercapwriting @avidreaderffn @maggiesxwyr @blakebat @smolsawyer

What were you going to say, Viktor?

So I wrote this post before chapter 3 of OBSABH, speculating about where Viktor was going when Yuuri jumped him in a hallway outside his hotel room.  I do so love to speculate (even though I know my speculations range from ‘realistic’ to ‘ utterly ridiculous’).  And today I got to speculating about one of the other big mysteries from UMFB- what was Viktor intending to say to Yuuri when he finds him in the deserted room (thus kicking off the doping scandal)?  He never gets to say it, but here are some ideas:

  1. Since we’re in Japan, are your family here?  Because I want to meet them and I hope your mum has brought all her old photo albums with her because if I don’t get to see your baby pictures I honestly might die.
  2. My whole family have flown over here to watch me skate.  Come with me and meet the Nikiforovs.  There’s my mum, my dad, my 4 brothers and 6 sisters, their husbands and wives, my nieces and nephews (all 17 of them), my aunts, uncles and cousins, my cousins’ partners, my cousins’ children oh and of course my grandparents.  I want to introduce you to them, since you’re the love of my life and all.  WAIT WHAT?  You thought I was an ORPHAN?
  3. I’m an orphan, as you know.  My rink mates are my family.  Come and meet them, because they basically think you’re a ginormous dick because of the way you’ve treated me… but I know they’ll like you if they get to know you.
  4. I’m popping out to the shops.  Since you’re practically moved into my hotel room I thought I’d pick you up a toothbrush to keep there.  Do you have a preferred colour?
  5. I’m all out of condoms, and since you brought one last night I thought I’d come and check if you have any more, because if not, I’ll nip out and get some.
  6. Since you seem to be up for trying new things in the bedroom, I’ve made a list of New Sex Things we could try.  Do you want to look it over and pick something out for tonight?  I’m thinking number 8 might be a good one to try… or number 22…
  7. I was just talking to Chris and he suggested a threesome.  Yes or no?
  8. I’ve been thinking about things and I think you might kind of like me.  I need to know, now, before I skate, because it’s driving me crazy.
  9. I’ve been thinking about things and I love you.  I need to tell you because it’s driving me crazy.
  10. I’ve been thinking about things and… will you marry me?
  11. Why did you come over to Europeans?  TELL ME WHY!
  12. I twisted my ankle when I tripped over last night during sex, and I’m dropping out of the competition.  I wanted you to be the first to know.
  13. I brought you some painkillers because I don’t want you to lose in the free skate because I fucked you too hard last night.
  14. I’m skating for you today.  Don’t take your eyes off me.
  15. Be my date for the banquet tonight?
  16. You left your underwear in my hotel room this morning.  I brought them to give back.
  17. I’ve had enough. This thing we have is breaking me and I can’t do it any more.  Either we try to make it into something more, or we end it.  
  18. I saw you slipping away and I was worried that maybe you were meeting one of your Other Lovers.  I know you hadn’t had any when we discussed this, like, a fortnight ago, but you’re had plenty of time since then to find someone else.
  19. There’s a few hours to go until the competition.  Fancy a quickie?
  20. I saw you slipping away and I figured you were probably sneaking off to take some sort of banned substance, so I thought I’d come and stop you and thereby save your career. Turns out I was right, so thank goodness I did.  Oh no wait…

Bonus #21:  Oh hi, Yuuri.  I just saw you going this way and thought I’d follow you to say hi.  For no particular reason.  So… hi.

Yuri!!! On ice headcanons

1- Viktor uses the “don’t you know who I am” excuse to get out of bad situations
2- Viktor hides all of the alcohol in the house before competitions so Yuuri can’t get too crazy (though he’s not opposed to it)
3- Hiroko (Yuuri’s mum) showers any of the skaters (especially Viktor) with gifts when they go to Japan to visit because they made her son happy
4- Yuuri likes calling Viktor “Vitya” because it makes him blush and look really cute
5- Yurio talks to his cat as practice for talking to Otabek because he’s too embarrassed to talk about his feelings with anyone else
6- Yuuri and Yuuko used to have sleepovers all the time when they were younger
7- Mari used to steal Yuuri’s Viktor posters just to annoy him
8- Chris and Phichit had a bet as to who would make the first move out of Yuuri and Viktor (note: Chris won and Phichit had to pay him 20 moneys)
9- Viktor and Georgi were really good friends (there is only a day between them v- Dec 25 & g- Dec 26)
10- Chris and Viktor probably had sex with eachother as an experiment but had 0 romantic feelings for eachother when they were younger
11- Yurio is pansexual (this one is my opinion and I have no idea how it came into my head but I just think it’s cute)
12- If anyone except Yuuri touched Viktor’s hair he would have to refrain himself from slapping them across the face (or would actually slap them if they were friends)
13- Yurio stops in the street to pet stray cats
14- When fans stop Viktor for photos but say they don’t want Yuuri in the photo, Viktor refuses to take the photo
15- Jj stalks Yurio on social media and cries every time he sees him with Otabek because he wants to be his only friend
16- Mickey hates Mila because she is dating his sister and for no other reason
17- Seung-Gil goes to gay bars a lot
18- Emil gets mistaken for being older a lot so never gets asked for ID when he tries to go anywhere even if he isn’t old enough while Mickey does even though he is older
19- Phichit tried to attach a camera to Makkachin’s collar so he could see what Viktor and Yuuri were up to 24/7
20- Makkachin wishes he had earmuffs so he could block out the noise Viktor and Yuuri make at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Emma Swan when she discovers that Regina Mills has been with women before.

Astonishment, shock, disbelief, regret.  If only she had been honest with her own feelings. The sadness of a missed opportunity weighs heavily in her mind and in her heart.

A Swan Queen thought on a Saturday.  What does she do NOW?  Does she race to Regina’s door, in her yellow bug, like she has a million times before?  While she takes that last turn, her mind is occupied with questions. She wants to ask how this could be, how she has never known, how could they not have spoken about this, when they had confided in each other so much?

Demanding answers, she sprints up to Regina’s door and knocks firmly.

When Regina answers, she is puzzled at her unexpected guest’s stare. She is surprised to see, first, anger on Emma’s face, that transforms to full-blown curiosity.  Regina falters, wondering if Henry is okay.

“Emma, what’s happened?”

Her answer is Emma’s hands, shooting out of her leather jacket pockets to cup her cheeks.  Lips, that had fascinated Regina many times before, are all at once pressed to her own.

Regina tastes desperation in the kiss but something more when the pressure softens.  A moan of surprise quickly turns into one of surrender and she feels Emma’s fingers slide to her nape and tangle into her short dark hair.

After their physical exchange becomes heated, after their mouths open and their heads angle to accommodate inquiring tongues, they separate slowly in amazement and very out of breath.

Regina clears her throat and rasps, “Hello.” It’s all her brain can come up with after having been kissed within an inch of her life.

“You kissed me back.”  Emma says astounded. That wasn’t planned, obviously, and rather than chastise herself, Emma can only think about how much she enjoyed it. That brief kiss is the best kiss she has ever had, and she had been kissed a lot, especially as of late.  Her husband. She has a husband!  Even being reminded of that, Emma is appalled to realize she doesn’t feel guilty and she wants to kiss Regina again.

“Well, you kissed me first, Sheriff Swan.”  Regina’s retort is sharp.  She never calls the woman anything other than “Emma” nowadays, but she needs to distance herself and to feel less vulnerable (she’s tried so hard to conceal her true feelings from everyone), so she uses the formality. It will be a cold day in hell when she calls Emma “Mrs. Jones”.

“That wasn’t supposed to happen.”


“You don’t have to get snippy, Regina.”

“You come all the way over to my house…”

“All the way, what? Of a FIVE minute drive?”

“… and KISS me…”  Emma snorts defensively and crosses her arms and stares at Regina’s high heeled boots.  "What do you expect, Emma?  That I jump for joy?“

Emma squints over a cheeky smirk, “Only if you want to. I mean I don’t know how I compare with all the other WOMEN you’ve kissed.”

Regina’s jaw drops and those gorgeous eyes widen.  "How did you… I mean, who told you that?“

"Why didn’t you tell me you also like women?”

“And when was I supposed to tell you this?  When I was trying to poison you?  'Oh hey, PAIN IN MY ASS, eat my forbidden fruit.  Then, take a bite of this apple.’?”

It’s a bit crude and a little revealing of her desires, but Regina doesn’t think before dropping her sarcastic remark.  Emma’s brows raise high on her head, and Regina wills herself not to blush, though she can’t be sure of her success at that.

Emma chooses to ignore it, though the implication sends a tremble through her system, straight to her center.  "No, but maybe during the road trips we’ve taken.  All those quiet moments in the bug.“

Regina gives a scoffing laugh and crosses her own arms obstinately.  "Ah yes, because it is so like me to discuss my sexuality to the combined sounds of a Cheetos bag rustling, as you stuff your face, and Tom Petty and the Heartbrakers on the radio.”

“Regina, why didn’t you just TELL me?”

“Because Emma… we talk but we don’t TALK.”  Regina threw her hands up in exasperation. “We’re friends but…” Regina sighs, “…not.”

“What does THAT mean?”

“I don’t know.”

“I thought we WERE friends, Regina.  Good friends.”

“We are but we’re… something more.”

The blonde pensively stares.  "Something MORE.“

They are quiet until Regina blurts out in utter frustration, "We’re WEIRD is what we are!”

Emma becomes nervous when Regina becomes uncharacteristically jittery. It’s like she can feel Regina pulling away and that’s not what she wants, so what does she do?  She grabs Regina and kisses her again.

And Regina succumbs, again, her sexy fingers clutching Emma’s biceps and coming into contact with toned muscles.  She reels at the touch.

When they part, in a daze, Regina says softly, “You kissed me again.”

“I know.”  Emma holds her close still.


“Because I wanted to.”

Regina gulps. She is intoxicated with these breath-taking kisses. She never thought she’d be lucky enough to get them from Emma Swan, and still she doesn’t know if she quite deserves them.

“Emma, this is probably a bad idea…”  She is swiftly cut off by Emma’s lips again, stroking and suckling hers.  Her hands are behind Emma’s shoulders, clinging to her and when she is released slightly and their lips part, Regina attempts to clear the love-drunk haze to form words.  All she can say is, “Stop that”, but her reprimand has not even one shred of sincerity, or bite.  On the contrary, she is still encouraging Emma’s embrace and leans in slightly wanting to join lips again.

The blonde leans back and can’t help a dimple from showing. “You like kissing me.”

Regina’s eyes snap open, full size, and she squirms to escape, but Emma holds her more solidly.  "Unhand me!“

Emma’s tone is playful and she surprisingly doesn’t care if she is spotted kissing the mayor in her doorway, though no one seems to be paying attention. "You’re getting snippy again.  The thing is, you’re even sexier when you’re angry.  I’m thinking maybe that’s why I like pissing you off so much.”

“You are certifiable, Miss Swan.”  

And the name just slips from Regina’s lips naturally but it sobers them, because, really, she is NOT “Miss Swan” any longer.

“Crap. We have a problem.”

Regina gulps again and she refuses to let her eyes mist.  She allowed herself to cry, and cry brilliantly, once: the day she found out Emma had gotten engaged to that hook-handed buffoon. She promised herself never to cry over the loss again.  "YOU have a problem.  I’m going to make myself a cup of coffee, have a slice of apple strudel, and pretend this never happened.“

At first it is on the tip of her tongue to say, "Don’t you DARE forget this” until the rest of Regina’s comment registers.  "You made apple strudel?“ Emma asks, interested.

Rolling her eyes, Regina quips, "You’re salivating and, NO, you may not have any.”

“I’ve been salivating since you opened the door, and not for strudel.  And not offering me any is not being a nice host.”

“I didn’t invite you OVER, remember?  You came here and ASSAULTED me.”

That brings Emma’s focused gaze back to Regina’s delicious mouth and she forgets the strudel.

“I want to kiss you again. That’s crazy, right?”

“Emma…”  Regina places both hands on Emma’s breast bone to push her off but wrinkles her jacket instead.  "Please…“

It’s uncertain whether it is a plea from Regina to kiss her or not.

Emma releases her and backs away.  She is a hero, an honorable one, and here she is, a married woman, kissing someone else and wanting to continue to do so. This isn’t right, but if that’s true, why does it FEEL so right?

"On second thought.  I think I’ll pass on the strudel. I need some time to…” Emma doesn’t know what she is going to do   but she knows that this was a damn game changer.  Her life can never be the same as it was an hour ago.

The sheriff spins on a heel and fleas, getting into her car and driving off, leaving a bewildered, bothered, and aroused Regina behind.

(The photo is a reposting but I didn’t reblog because I think this Emma Swan fan is a C$ fan also. I honestly try and stay clear, but look at that face! This is how I see these pictures.) Credit goes to fyesthesavior.


The Miles Davis Sextet, NYC 1958, featuring John Coltrane, Jimmy Cobb, Paul Chambers, Bill Evans and Julian “Cannonball” Adderley

When photographer Robert W. Kelley shot a few rolls of film at an intimate jazz gig on May 14, 1958, evidently neither he nor his LIFE editors were jumping out of their skins with excitement. Kelley provided scant notes describing the evening: just the date, the city and the subject’s name, “Miles Davis,” scrawled on the small archival file of the resulting photos. Why the pictures - which capture the great, ground-breaking trumpeter, then just 31 years old, leading his band in an unnamed New York venue - never made it into print remains a mystery to this day.

Maybe Kelley’s 1958 photos never ran in LIFE because seeing and hearing jazz greats on any given night felt so commonplace in New York at the time - the music mecca Birdland, after all, was just around the corner from the Time-Life Building. Maybe pictures of a ground-breaking young master of the art weren’t something to get worked up about. But six decades later, when Miles Davis’ star shines brighter than ever and he’s acknowledged as one of the genuine titans of 20th century music, it’s hard not to get excited by the opportunity to see previously unpublished pictures of the man and the rest of his legendary sextet.

Yesterday’s Enterprise - 3.15

Now, you might be thinking, “haven’t you all done this one already?” And you would be right, TECHNICALLY we have “done” this one. But that post is from SEVEN YEARS AGO and it is QUITE UNDERWHELMING. It’s literally like the second post we ever did. So upon the recommendation of Friend of the Blog Grace M., I’m revisiting this one. 

It starts with a charming scene between Guinan and Worf in which Guinan is wearing one of her signature “teardrop” hats:

What’s the likelihood that there is a nail polish called Aubergine-ius out there somewhere

Keep reading

Art Student AU

Oh ho! What is this? A sketchbook doing with only one person as the subject?

 (Part One-ish)

“Ace! You never draw people.”

“Yeah so?”

“You spent all of the run up to your life drawing bitching about it.”


“And why do you have a sketchbook full of life drawing?”

Keep reading


So, S.E. Hinton told Rob Lowe that after The Outsiders, Sodapop is drafted and killed in Vietnam. That made me think a lot, what if all the boys die except for Darry? What if Steve grows violent because he lost Soda and he is killed by a group of Socs because he got cocky, and Two-Bit was killed in a rumble because he was fighting out his anger and he didn’t even care when he knew that everyone else on his side was running? Ponyboy because he was so forgetful, and he was never really there, and one day he gets hit by a car full of drunk drivers while absentmindedly wandering the street. 
So years later, Darry is sitting in his living room, his wife is making dinner in the kitchen, and his 5 year old daughter is on his lap. His 7 year old son is looking at a photo album that they had handed him to keep him occupied - his son was quiet, mature for his age. Much like Ponyboy. His son flips to a page and his eyebrows furrow.
“Daddy?” He asks.
“Yeah, little man?” He asks, and the boy points to a picture. The picture was of Darry. His arm was slung around the shoulders of a movie star handsome boy, and on the other side of that boy was a tough looking one with his hair combed in greasy swirls. There was a boy with green eyes and reddish-brown hair and another with white-blond hair and a sly grin. Another one was tall, with rusty side burns and a goofy smile on his face. The last had large, fearful dark eyes, but the hint of a smile on his face. 
“Who are they?” He asked, and Darry felt his eyes grow wet. He was the only one left… “I know that’s you,” The little boys says, pointing a small finger at Darry. “But who are the other boys?” Darry breathes deeply, trying to compose himself. He hadn’t cried in years.
“Those are my brothers.” Darry says, and the boys eyebrows knit together.
“All of them?” The little boy asks, and his curiosity and amazement reminds him of his youngest brother.
“Yeah, Little Buddy. All of them.” Darry says.
“Wow, Dad. That’s a lot of brothers. Not all of you look alike?” The little boy was confused. “I mean, this one had light hair, but this one’s is really dark, and this one is tall and this one is short. You do look like these two, though.” He says, pointing to Soda and Pony. Darry feels a hot tear roll down his cheek, and he wipes it away quickly. He smiles.
“Yeah,” He says, smiling at the thought of them. “But not all families look like families. But those were -” He swallows. “Those are my brothers.”

Meeting Mary, your Mother, for the first time would include...

- Feeling pretty guilty because you were the one in the cot when Mary died

- Being lowkey jealous of Sam and Dean’s closer bond with her at first because they both have actual memories with her

- You’re shy around her and find it hard to open up

- You thinking she’s the most badass Hunter and wondering if you’d ever reach that standard

- Finally having another woman in the house

- She tells you how proud of you she is

- She can be very stern

- You help her out when she’s trying to get used to technology and how it all works

- You act more serious when she’s around, but so do your brothers so no one calls each other out

- It’s hard to call her Mum at first, but it doesn’t take long to get used to it

- You teach her about modern-day times and help her to adjust

- She finds you looking through one of the old photo albums and you can finally hear stories to go with the pictures

- You asking about what your brothers were like when they were really young

- “John would be so proud of you.” (You doubt it very much, but keep quiet)

- She picks up on small things about you such as eating habits, musical interests, general preferences etc..

- Mary admits how she feels like she can never get to know you properly because she wasn’t there for the majority of your childhood

- When she asks about John you go very quiet and look over to your brothers in hopes that they’ll help change the topic

- She calls family meetings to drag you from out of your room

- Sharing looks every time your brothers do or say something stupid or strange

- You finally taking in the fact that you have a Mum 

Requested by anon

Hi! Could you please do a headcannon where Sam and Dean’s little sister is meeting Mary for the first time? Thank you ❤️❤️
Of course! Hope this is okay, I tried to think of as many as I could x

I do not own these gifs

(Tags after cut)

Keep reading

Wanna One Reaction to Their Idol Crush Saying Something About Them During an Interview or Having Their Pic as Lockscreen


He’d watch the interview happy that he has the time to watch you on tv sometimes. The interviewer would ask you if you have any idol that you want to get closer with, the answer being Yoon Jisung. He’d get overly excited and jump all around the dorm.

Interviewer “What would you want to say to Jisung if he was here?”

Y/N “Jisung-ssi, I wanna be friends with you!”

*screaming of happiness Jisung* *hugging the youngsters* *extra proud*

Originally posted by 1yjs


He’d watch your group’s reality show when the other members of your group tease you for your lockscreen of Sungwoon. At first Sungwoon wouldn’t be sure if he heard right, but he’d get really happy when he is sure about it. He’d giggle alone all day cause he is too happy.

Guanlin “What happened, Sungwoonnie?”

Sungwoon “You can speak as informal as you want today,my day is too good anyway.”

Originally posted by sungwoona


He would be attending a show together with you and the others when the MC asks you how are you feeling that you are next to Minhyun. He would be confused why the MC asked you that, but after explaining to him that you were seen having your phone’s lock lockscreen as his photo, he’d get so shy and find it really cute.

MC “Minhyun, what do you think about this?”

Minhyun “I have her photo as a lockscreen too.”

Originally posted by hyun95


He’d be watching your interview from the other part of your room, hiding from you, when the MC asks you which idol do you prefer. As Seongwoo’s name spills from your mouth, Seongwoo would try not to scream of happiness. He’d cover his mouth and run out of that room to react as much as he wants to the good news.

“Heol, she loves me already.”

Originally posted by onqs


In his free time he’d watch all your group’s videos, in an old interview he finds you talking about how much you love his voice and that he inspires you a lot. He’d start screaming and laughing out of happiness. He’d even clean the house because of too much happiness going through his head.

“I should make her a song. Woah, that’s a good idea, Kim Jaehwan. Okay okay, let’s do it!”


He’d get so shy when you confessed in a interview that you had his photo as a lockscreen since his debut. He’d be really happy about it and really shy too cause he never thought that you’d ever give him some attention. He’d try to talk with you after that and maybe become closer.

“It’s cute, your lockscreen.”

Originally posted by ong-seungwoo


Jihoon would get extremely shy and wouldn’t know what to do when you tell the audience that you saved Park Jihoon in your heart. (“nae maeum soge jeojang” reference) He’d be so happy that you finally talked about him and even knew about his existence.

Jihoon“Can I ask her out, hyung? What should I say?“

Minhyun“Just tell her that you love her. It may work.”

Jihoon"Nevermind, I’m asking someone with experience.“

Originally posted by wooijn


He’d also be one of the guys who’d get shy easily. It would be too much of a shock for him to hear his name from you. When you meet him backstage he’d get extra shy and awkward. He’d ask you for your number later, when he’s no longer shy.

"I feel the same way too, even more. So can I have your number?”

Originally posted by sungwooniestae


He’d be watching your group’s reality show when he sees you on your phone, your lockscreen being a cute photo of him. He wouldn’t believe his eyes and at first he wouldn’t react too much, but he’d be really happy about it.

“Hyung hyung hyung, she likes me, I like her, but when will we talk?”

Originally posted by idaehwi


He’d get so excited when you talk about him being your favourite in Wanna One. He would smile at you while watching from the audience. He’d be so happy about it.

“She’s my favorite. My one and only. She can’t resist cutie Daehwi. Now we’ve gotta date.”

Originally posted by epikcry


When you tell the MC that you had Guanlin’s photo as your lockscreen since a long time ago, he’d get so shy and proud of himself that he’s got your attention. He’d hope that you’ll soon get in touch and be something in the future.

“We’ll be such a swaggy couple.”

Originally posted by kim-biased

diydragon10  asked:

I love your stuff, but I don't understand why you just retake new pictures of old costumes and pretend it's new?

Pretend it’s new? Don’t think I’ve ever done that. I cycle through our old costumes as pictures and sometimes do new photo shoots of the old costumes because new people follow us each day and making new costumes takes awhile with my IRL job taking up 50-60hrs of my week work time. So I try to make funny posts but occasionally I get burnt out and can’t think of something funny so I will search for something a year or two old and reblog it because we’ve grown a ton since then and the new followers we have most likely have never seen it. But I do try to cycle costumes and Never posted pictures as a priority on my posts.

Baby Liam Series - Part One


Got done early, fam.

Okay, So I guess this will be a series if you want?

Given by anon. Not gonna put it all cuz it’ll spoil it all ;) Just know, baby Liam and daddy Derek <3

This made me really happy while writing.

Rating: Do you really care? There’s cussing, that’s it =)

1710 Words 

You were out hanging with Scott and Stiles, eating at some restaurant near the high school. You were asking normal questions. How is school? Are your grades good? Any new werewolves? Y’know the normal stuff. You stuffed your face with some waffles. Breakfast just seemed like a good idea at the moment, even if it was six at night.

It was nice, until you got a call from the house phone, of course. If someone called from there, it was important. Stiles’ head shot up as he recognized the ringtone of Stewie’s voices yelling mom. Scott looked up slightly before continuing to eat.

“Momma Hale speaking.”

“Y/N, that’s how you answer the phone? Nevermind, you need to come over like right now. It’s like code fucking red.“

Scott’s eyebrows rose at the sound of Derek’s urgent voice.

"Uh, okay, I’ll be there in like five minutes.” You said before he hung up. You sighed and looked up at the boys. “Looks like I’m going to have to leave. Take forty, that should be enough for all this,” you said as you dropped two twenties on the table. “Um, Don’t do drugs, be safe, see you guys later.”

Keep reading

Just AgreStone (Gabriel/Jagged) things
  • your local wine dads 
  • just kidding they had to compromise days of the week where they drink either obscure american microbrews and fancy wine
  • Jagged picks out the music for Gabriel’s fashion shows (as long as it isn’t Jagged’s music, Gabriel could care less)
  • Penny and Nathalie (married and too old for this bullshit) have to referee arguments
  • Adrien can’t referee because he never sides with Gabriel on principle
  • Jagged convinced Gabriel to get a tattoo when they were teenagers. It’s a butterfly on his calf
  • Gabriel loathes it now
  • Gabriel is terrified of Fang and this results in games of ‘the floor is made of lava’
  • Jagged stole Gabriel’s makeup brushes and Gabe is still mad about it
  • Jagged has a professionally done and edited coffee book of all the drunk photos of him, Gabriel, Nathalie, and Adele in the early nineties and breaks it out constantly.
  • Jagged wears ugly sweaters that are too big for him
  • he messes up gabriel’s hair when he’s being a jackass

my heart lets nothing die. even the small wars interrupt my sleep. i wait for people to ask me what’s wrong and then i lie. i stayed home four weekends in a row because i didn’t trust myself to say the right thing. i’m just not the life of the party. i’m trying to live with that. the worst thing that happened to my family happened three years before i was born. i don’t know how to keep answering the same question. i’m impossibly alone. i made myself this way. i stared at someone from a distance to see if they’d ever look my way. they didn’t. they went on with their life and did not know they existed to me at all. i wonder sometimes if my heart will always feel this far from me. i heard someone say something terrible and i counted the ceiling tiles to make the world stop spinning. i considered my body and how it’s changed. i wrote to a person i never had the chance to meet. sometimes i have to stay away from the old photo albums because it just gets too hard. i don’t know how to forgive myself this time around. when people look at me i wonder if they notice the parts of me that are gone for good. they don’t flinch but that means nothing. i still have dreams about a country that forgot about me in its sleep.