hey! I've been struggling with self hatred a LOT lately. it's always been there, but recently I just can't stand myself, physically and mentally. I don't know what to do for help, and all the articles I read say things like, "just love yourself!!" but it's easier said than done and I don't know how to go about it. I'd appreciate any help <3 thank you!!
It’s hard to love yourself when there aren’t people and experiences making you feel confident and valued. Surround yourself with people who make you smile and who you come away from feeling like they want you in their lives. Make sure you have as many interactions like this each day as possible because having a positive impact on others is one of the best ways to build your own self-confidence.
If you’re lacking in current relationships to do the above with, try reaching out to people in your family, school/work, or local community. If you live with someone, make sure you spend at least half an hour each evening with them before locking yourself away with your computer and tumblr. Say yes to anything and everything socially that comes your way, even if it doesn’t leave you with much time for ‘relaxing’ (scrolling through the internet posting about how crap you feel in slob-y clothes).
If you’re at school, seek out feedback from teachers to build confidence and positive relationships there. If you have a job, ask your supervisor for feedback and chat to them about career progression. Try getting a volunteering job, that’s extremely rewarding and a great way to build relationships.
Dress in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. Make an effort to do a five-minute make-up every day and to put on something other than sweatpants (it takes very little effort to wear jeans, t-shirt and boots instead of a tracksuit and trainers). Feeling like you look better than usual will automatically boost your confidence and the way you behave, attracting people to you.
And finally, since you say you can’t stand yourself mentally, do you mean there are choices you’re making which you’re unhappy with? Are you hurting others or doing things which negatively impact on your health/future? If so, it’s you and only you who can change the way you behave. It takes self-control stronger than what you’ve been using but you can do it, step by step.
I hope this helps and good luck!