because you know how people say 'easier said than done'

anonymous asked:

hey! I've been struggling with self hatred a LOT lately. it's always been there, but recently I just can't stand myself, physically and mentally. I don't know what to do for help, and all the articles I read say things like, "just love yourself!!" but it's easier said than done and I don't know how to go about it. I'd appreciate any help <3 thank you!!

It’s hard to love yourself when there aren’t people and experiences making you feel confident and valued. Surround yourself with people who make you smile and who you come away from feeling like they want you in their lives. Make sure you have as many interactions like this each day as possible because having a positive impact on others is one of the best ways to build your own self-confidence. 

If you’re lacking in current relationships to do the above with, try reaching out to people in your family, school/work, or local community. If you live with someone, make sure you spend at least half an hour each evening with them before locking yourself away with your computer and tumblr. Say yes to anything and everything socially that comes your way, even if it doesn’t leave you with much time for ‘relaxing’ (scrolling through the internet posting about how crap you feel in slob-y clothes).

If you’re at school, seek out feedback from teachers to build confidence and positive relationships there. If you have a job, ask your supervisor for feedback and chat to them about career progression. Try getting a volunteering job, that’s extremely rewarding and a great way to build relationships.

Dress in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. Make an effort to do a five-minute make-up every day and to put on something other than sweatpants (it takes very little effort to wear jeans, t-shirt and boots instead of a tracksuit and trainers). Feeling like you look better than usual will automatically boost your confidence and the way you behave, attracting people to you.

And finally, since you say you can’t stand yourself mentally, do you mean there are choices you’re making which you’re unhappy with? Are you hurting others or doing things which negatively impact on your health/future? If so, it’s you and only you who can change the way you behave. It takes self-control stronger than what you’ve been using but you can do it, step by step.

I hope this helps and good luck!

kehlani: I just want people to know I’ve been there and I’m still there. i was never the pretty girl or the overly attractive girl, I was a super tom boy, very insecure, used to come home and cry because people weren’t gawking over me how they did over other girls. Hated my body my face my features, everything. Yes saying I love myself is easier said than done, and to this day I’m still struggling with accepting what I look like. But I cant change that. I’m me. I was born me. I will die me. You were born you, you will die you. We cannot spend every hour of our lives focused on what we aren’t. Waking up to loads of comments on blog sites reading “she looks like a man” “all those tattoos make her look like trailer trash” isn’t easy, no matter how confident I am. People tell me I look like I SMELL. And I’m not saying this to make anyone feel sorry, because you shouldn’t. I’m saying this so people know that when I give self love advice I’m not coming from a place of saying it to say it, I’m giving myself advice thru giving you guys advice. I’m still learning, like you. I’m still looking myself in the mirror like you. Self love is indeed easier to speak about than to believe and feel but the first step is speaking it into Existence. I am determined to feel beautiful, I am determined to feel confident when I look in the mirror, and I am determined to motivate any other person who feels the same. We’re all beautiful, it starts with that.

advice for the signs (based on people I know)
  • aries: you don't need to shout at people and be authoritive to gain respect, just be your lovely, caring self!
  • taurus: it's great that you stick by your opinions but try to be a bit more open-minded (I still love u and you're the funniest gal, open-minded or not)
  • gemini: bitching about someone aloud in a class of 25 people says a lot more about you than it does about the other person. and please don't be embarrassed at your intelligence!
  • cancer: i know it's nice to stay home but sometimes you have to compromise because your friends wanna see you, chica
  • leo: it's easier said than done, but please don't base you worth on how much we do/don't laugh at your jokes. & don't be afraid to show the side of you that comes out in smaller groups of people
  • virgo: please be careful who you tell your boarderline appropriate jokes to, even if it is entertaining when people get mad about it
  • libra: when you're flirting with me can u please tell me if you're just being your charming self or if you actually like me. sincerely, easily attached cancer sun.
  • scorpio: it's cool that you're determined to have this amazing career but take a bloody break from schoolwork omg.
  • sagittarius: I don't know any :(( I need some sags in my life
  • capricorn: you're all so touchy-feely, please just give me some space. & I wish you were less ambitious because I'm jealous of your planned out life
  • aqaurius: hey brother, please stop sitting in ur room playing video games all day because you make me laugh loads when you're not so distant
  • pisces: ily but stop acting so misunderstood all the time. & youre so bloody hard to motivate omg

anonymous asked:

What did you think of Dan's live show? I need your thoughts <3

I absolutely loved this show. LOVED IT. Along with Phil’s last show (I didn’t get a chance to talk about it cause finals are killing me) it was probably one of my more favorite younows in a long time.

This one felt so much more open and candid to me. We all know Dan struggles with sharing opinions and worries a lot about the way people are perceiving him and how he is coming across. The recognition of that (namely at the very end of the show) felt so real and honest. It didn’t feel as much like DINOF or a persona, it felt like Dan Howell in that moment. A somewhat vulnerable Dan letting us in on an insecurity and some of his fears about pleasing everyone and the balance between being “entertaining” and being himself. I always go on about how I wish he wouldn’t censor himself as much and would just talk about what he pleases, so his candidness about this dilemma was incredibly interesting to me. Kind of ironic that listening to him waffle on about feeling concerned that he’s not “entertaining" was the most entertained I’ve been in one of his shows in a while. I just find him the most endearing when he’s less guarded and more upfront with what’s on his mind.

“Weird. Live shows are weird. I’m weird in live shows. I’m weird. You’re weird. We’re all weird. Everything’s weird. Should I worry about having to entertain people? Are these live shows supposed to be entertaining? Or should I be as boring as I want for….it’s the same thing, you know, I talk about politics and people are all BORED. I do have a…kind of responsibility to entertain people slightly because you’re spending your time…with me. And then I’m sure lots of you just want me…‘just be yourself’…I think that’s important. Just do what you want, Dan. Thank you.” “Sorry for being weird. Don’t judge how I act or what I say…it’s just a weird situation.”

(cont)

Keep reading

Gazi the wasteman

This wasteman known as Gazi is calling Africans who corrected him and our parents coons on twitter, saying he knows more about African history than us. (x)

The audacity of this man. This is all because he is too arrogant to admit that once again, he fucked up and was talking outta his ass. Nothing says Pan-Africanism like calling Africans correcting you on your nonsense coons. See this goat.

I’ve said it plenty times, people like Gazi do not respect Africans. They are collectively dismissive towards Africans, even regarding matters of Africa. If you aren’t going to defer to Africans on matters of Africa, then what are you even doing? Who exactly is the authority here? Motherfucker, it’s not you. Sometimes you need to shut up, sit down and listen.

Even when people like Gazi are clearly wrong, they cannot save face and admit that they are. Maybe he’s too imbecilic to know that he truly is a joke. Maybe he thinks he’s smart. Nevertheless, people like him will doubledown in all their wrongness and they will be quick to insult Africans. It always goes down like that. For all the dashikis they will wear, all the “ase” “uhuru” and everything else they will spout, for all the Orishas they worship, for all the Fela they will listen to, it’s still basically just a dress rehearsal. It’s no different than a white girl wearing a headdress at Coachella. They might act like they are interested in you, but they aren’t. They just like the cool aspects of your culture. They get really dismissive when you have the gall to assert yourself and challenge them on their misconceptions about where you fucking come from.

They want to claim solidarity, but what does that mean when you’re insulting the people whose cultures you adorn yourself with? You call us coons, then twist your ashy mouth to say “Ase” while wearing a dashiki and butchering Yoruba. Fall the fuck back.

Nothing is wrong with learning more about Africa. Not at all. I know of no African person, Nigerian or otherwise who would not welcome real and genuine people. Are you kidding? It’s just that this fake bullshit of I know more than you about yourself is wack, paternalistic and fucking insulting. Gazi is no different than a white man in behavior and tactics. They want to tell you about yourself. They want to colonize and usurp your identity. They are the experts on you, your people, your culture and your land. If you dare to correct them about where you are from, then you’re a fucking coon. What?

People like Gazi will say they want to get in touch with Africans. Yes, us Africans. You know, people from the continent the likes of him claim to want to connect with. Alright. One thing though; if you are insulting Africans, what the fuck and who the fuck are you connecting to?

When you can’t take corrections from people who are from places you aren’t from, then you need to take a step back and reevaluate your position, and maybe come to terms with the fact that you might be wrong. That’s easier said than done, and for a dickhole like Gazi, that’s damn near impossible.

This joker is gonna go around telling people that Nigeria means “Nigger Area” because he read it on some clown’s hotep blog. Again, I don’t even blame Gazi at this point. It’s his enablers. I really don’t know how anyone with functioning brain cells can see all this and still say “Yeah, this man makes sense to me.”

If Gazi makes sense to you, please do us all a favor and don’t reproduce. Ya kids are gonna be the ones tormenting our children in school, calling them “African booty scratcher”, calling them all kinds of names, insulting them, their parents, acting like you know more than them about themselves and making them feel like shit. They’ll probably insult Muslim and Christian kids to boot and ask em why they ain’t praying to the sun and writing in hieroglyphics.

In short, fuck Gazi and everything he stands for. If you ride with him, then fuck you too.