because you are all beautiful human beings

I exist. Outside of being your mother, your wife, your sister, your daughter, I exist. I exist as a human first, as a being that experiences joy and suffering, beauty and learning, life and tragedy. I exist because the universe chose to put me here for a purpose higher than my relation to men. I exist because the stars died to give me life and planet blood runs through my veins. So the problem is not my existence. The problem is how you perceive it as so small, you do not believe I can exist at all apart from my bonds with men.
—  Nikita Gill, From “The Moon Dragon and Other Feminist Fairytales”
Who the signs are to you:

ARIES:

  • Aries: the person you don’t really know well, but you’re always having a great time going out together 
  • Taurus: that weirdo at work you just can’t get along with without any apparent reason 
  • Gemini: that from-time-to-time sex partner 
  • Cancer: your little sister you always have to protect from everyone 
  • Leo: shopping buddy 
  • Virgo: that one bitchy, arrogant chick you couldn’t stand at the first sight
  • Libra: future wife/husband 
  • Scorpio: that one ex you’ll always feel attracted to, even though it will never work out 
  • Sagittarius: crush 
  • Capricorn: that weird nerdy neighbour that looks quite lovely but you never spoke a word to them 
  • Aquarius: that one person that gets everything you want so much
  • Pisces: just a random useless person

TAURUS 

  • Aries: an annoying guy at work who gets all the credits you deserve
  • Taurus: your first love you’ll never forget
  • Gemini: that two-faced bitch you’re a little jealous of
  • Cancer: that person you’re not really best friends with but to whom you can always turn when you feel down
  • Leo: that hot guy you secretly crave
  • Virgo: a childhood friend that helped you become who you are now
  • Libra: your boss
  • Scorpio: your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Sagittarius: crazy, odd creep that entertains you when you’re sad
  • Capricorn: bff!
  • Aquarius: your loving grandmother
  • Pisces: that one pervert you know who always makes you laugh 

GEMINI 

  • Aries: a huge crush you can’t get over no matter what you do
  • Taurus: high school desk neighbour
  • Gemini: the person you laugh the most with
  • Cancer: your one & only real love
  • Leo: drinking buddy
  • Virgo: that one annoying person that always sees through you not buying your lies like others do
  • Libra: that girl intriguing all the time
  • Scorpio: that bitch with a few kilogrammes makeup on you just can’t stand
  • Sagittarius: best travel partner you’ll ever have
  • Capricorn: your older brother
  • Aquarius: the person you know has a crush on, but you can’t relate, even though you’re enjoying this fact
  • Pisces: the one who does all your homework 

CANCER

  • Aries: you wish you had their confidence
  • Taurus: childhood neighbour
  • Gemini: your job partner who does all the work
  • Cancer: your opposite gender best friend, the prove that girl & boy can be just friends
  • Leo: they’re so beautiful, I wish I had a little of their beauty
  • Virgo: that person that tries to make you believe in how amazing you are
  • Libra: that weird person who never talks but you somehow still hang out with them
  • Scorpio: that one person who talks so sarcastically that you can’t understand if they’re being serious or not
  • Sagittarius: that annoying bitch bullying you all the time
  • Capricorn: that one person you will always like even though it doesn’t work out between you
  • Aquarius: how can you be so arrogant?
  • Pisces: best friend 

LEO 

  • Aries: slaying together!
  • Taurus: that one friend you’re trying to make more social, ‘cause they’re actually pretty cool, but they just prefer to Netflix & chill at home
  • Gemini: that one sarcastic but charming guy you like, but they keep making fun of your attitude
  • Cancer: your spiritually obsessed uncle
  • Leo: your wingman who always steals your girls in the end
  • Virgo: that silent friend who gets crazy as hell when drunk
  • Libra: your personal clown, basically entertaining you through life
  • Scorpio: the only person that knows how to handle your ego, but you can’t trust them, ‘cause they have some kind of power over you
  • Sagittarius: cooking partner
  • Capricorn: your older, smarter sister, but you’re always beating her in being popular & hot
  • Aquarius: the only person you will fall in love with for real
  • Pisces: your boss who’s way too easy to manipulate

VIRGO 

  • Aries: that one guy who gets all the girls you like because they’re hot & charming, but you’re just a shy potato 
  • Taurus: an actual friend
  • Gemini: that one person you feel kind of alike with but you still just don’t like them 
  • Cancer: your boo
  • Leo: that girl you thought was your best friend but she has like 5 other best friends and so you feel somehow friendship wise heartbroken
  • Virgo: that fling you had on a holiday but it was so good you won’t ever forget them
  • Libra: I wish I was as creative & adorable as they are
  • Scorpio: your wife who’s gonna leave you in the end ‘cause she will realise how different you are after 10 years of marriage
  • Sagittarius: that hot girl you totally have a crush on but she’s out of your league, ‘cause well, you’re still a potato
  • Capricorn: the only friend who actually knows how to deal with your weirdnesses and phobias
  • Aquarius: your psychologist 
  • Pisces: a girl you get perfectly along with, but can’t really understand why, because you’re so different

LIBRA

  • Aries: partner in crime
  • Taurus: your beauty idol you always try to copy
  • Gemini: only you can understand both of their faces
  • Cancer: that lovely person having so much bad luck that you always feel sorry for them
  • Leo: that flowers obsessed relative
  • Virgo: your neighbour 
  • Libra: that one boring person that always asks you to go out. You know it’s gonna be boring but can’t say no, 'cause they are actually really nice
  • Scorpio: that person you’re inhumanly attracted to 
  • Sagittarius: fiancé(e) that’s gonna leave you at the altar 
  • Capricorn: fiancé(e) that’s gonna marry you
  • Aquarius: long lost half sister who turns out to be really cool 
  • Pisces: the shoulder to cry on from time to time

SCORPIO 

  • Aries: a huge crush who doesn’t really like you back but you keep trying, even though you know it’s gonna hurt
  • Taurus: your favourite singer
  • Gemini: the best person to have late night conversations with
  • Cancer: a lovely family member you will always support
  • Leo: that bitch needing attention all the time but you’re too busy being self-absorbed
  • Virgo: the sign that 90% of your crushes are
  • Libra: your best freaking sex partner ever 
  • Scorpio: childhood love that never really faded
  • Sagittarius: that one cheater boyfriend you somehow forgive over and over again 
  • Capricorn: your daughter you can act like best friends with
  • Aquarius: unexplainably undesirable person 
  • Pisces: best friend you never dare getting in a romantic relationship with because you know you’ll hurt them

SAGITTARIUS 

  • Aries: your modelling partner 
  • Taurus: that stubborn little shit always trying to ruin your life
  • Gemini: you don’t know it yet but they’re the love of your life 
  • Cancer: that person with an amazing taste in music so you can’t stop admiring it
  • Leo: drinking buddy
  • Virgo: your favourite actor  
  • Libra: your make up artist
  • Scorpio: your witch neighbour, you don’t believe she actually is one but she scares you anyway somehow
  • Sagittarius: best travel buddy 
  • Capricorn: that gloomy person, you never what they are actually thinking 
  • Aquarius: on/off relationship 
  • Pisces: that one person always trying to joke but has an awful sense of humour

CAPRICORN 

  • Aries: your female friend that is amazingly beautiful & kind but just doesn’t believe it and all you do is trying to build up a little confidence in her
  • Taurus: your gay best friend
  • Gemini: lovely & interesting person to spend time with without any real trust
  • Cancer: that one adorable human being you will always wonder about like: how can you be so lovely & innocent?
  • Leo: that one bitch always trying to ruin your life, making drama around you now and then
  • Virgo: that person you get along with perfectly, you understand each other without words, you absolutely love them, but you’ll always stay friends because there’s a lack of physical attraction 
  • Libra: they want you.
  • Scorpio: a fling
  • Sagittarius: that person you like somehow but it never comes to a real relationship, they seem not to notice you the right way
  • Capricorn: YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOULMATE
  • Aquarius: that annoying relative always judging you
  • Pisces: that one fake ass ex you’ll never forgive yourself dating

AQUARIUS 

  • Aries: a friend that always manages to cheer you up
  • Taurus: that lovely person you always wanted to get to know, but you have no idea how to start a conversation
  • Gemini: just… bae
  • Cancer: head up, your crown is falling. Oh wait, which crown?
  • Leo: your most beautiful friend. she’s the only one allowed to be more beautiful than you are
  • Virgo: your long-lost child
  • Libra: that one friend that lives on the other side of the world but you stay friends no matter what
  • Scorpio: a person that life always puts as an interference to you, so you end up hating them
  • Sagittarius: that one relative you never meet ‘cause they’re always travelling
  • Capricorn: that one friend that seems completely heartless to you
  • Aquarius: a bitch you’re always competing with 
  • Pisces: you fell in love with their kindness

PISCES 

  • Aries: wait… who? 
  • Taurus: that one person who protects you in difficult situations every time
  • Gemini: they seem so lovely why can’t they stop bullying me?
  • Cancer: cry buddy
  • Leo: that person with a huge heart, it isn’t obvious at first sight but you can trust them with anything
  • Virgo: future husband you will finally feel secure with 
  • Libra: they are so beautiful you can’t help falling in love with them 
  • Scorpio: gossip girl friend 
  • Sagittarius: stupid high school buddy 
  • Capricorn: your long-term love that you can’t forget 
  • Aquarius: that married guy you can’t stop wanting
  • Pisces: bestie

Aries —
oh, my sweet, sweet child, what has the world done to you? you were a bright promise,
the tomorrow we had hoped for, holding flowers in your mouth without crushing them
and trusting blindly in those around you. and then came the blood; and now your fire
is a quiet thing, a crackling murmur hidden in the shadows. you’ve curled into yourself
like a newborn babe, held your heart tightly to your chest and began the tedious healing.
and all the salt in your tears made the deep wounds sting; was it this what kept you pure?
I wonder, oh, I wonder. before you, I had never seen an anathema so full of innocence.
(the world tried to cast you down from paradise; and it succeeded. but the fall couldn’t
maim you, for fire cannot kill fire – it simply shrunk you, much like a mimosa bloom.
I hope one day you’ll feel safe enough to flower, for there is so much beauty in you.)


Taurus —
I wish I could wrap my hands around your shoulders and hold you close for a while,
because oh, what sad things they are, your bones. I am so sorry, beloved; so very sorry.
and I am well aware these apologies cannot change anything, but I want you to know
that there is someone who sees you as you are – even when all the others see is your
superfluous frivolity and your desire for riches, I see the thoughtful mind, the gentle
gestures, each and every of your heartbeats. the song of you is imprinted into my memory
as the change in seasons is; you are unforgettable, something so precious and so very dear.
(don’t let them shame you for your greed – those who try to do so cannot wrap their
all too little minds around the fact that sin is not necessarily negative. your love for gold
has root in the same place as your love for others; you only want it so you may share it.)


Gemini —
it’s lonely, isn’t it? not being the way all others are. they tell you you’re a forgery, that your
smile is a mask and your composure an act, simply because they cannot accept the idea
that people are supposed to be multidimensional. on and on they go, pinning their ignorance
to you under the name of blame, seeing in you only that which they wish to see. sometimes,
you wish you were like them. I know you do. you shouldn’t. it might be lonely where you are,
but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing; lonely doesn’t mean secluded. there are others like you,
with minds like diamonds. others like you, who are only habitual in their tendency for change.
(you will find someone who can make sense out of you, one day, you know. they’ll know you
better than you yourself do – every single aspect of you, every single frantic facet and feeling.
and when you do, the wait will be more than worth it. I promise you won’t die nor live alone.)


Cancer —
you poor, poor, poor thing. it’s been a thousand years since you’ve curled into yourself, hid
your heart deep in the cradle of your ribs and let yourself sleep; then the time came for you
to awaken, and you found the world unchanged – it was as if everything had stood still.
reality swept into you like saltwater into gaping wounds, and every fiber of your soul wept.
fearful, you took the broken glass road still, walked it fully aware of what laid in waiting;
like a bride the night she is wed to a stranger, you swallowed your terror and saw it through.
often, those ignorant make you out to be such a bumbling coward. you’re not. you just aren’t.
(in fact, you’re on of the bravest people I know; it takes so much courage to let the world
see you weep – and it takes even more of it to wipe your tears and keep moving forward.
above all, it takes immense courage to allow yourself to love even when you know it’ll hurt.)


Leo —
the size of your heart puts to shame both Jupiter and your own pride and ego; to this day,
I am not sure if you would have been better off with one much smaller, but I know for sure
the world would have been emptier by far. you see, your touch is one of gold; whomever
you decide to invest your time and love into grows the size of Atlas, and so, without you
as you are now there would have been much less in the world. that is your downfall, isn’t it?
always has been. the way you’ve always put others first, giving them all of you, never asking
for anything to be given to you in return. you are a gardener, dearest, and people are your roses.
(it breaks my heart that all your selfless effort was almost always repaid in hurt and sorrow;
know that you are not to be blamed for any of it. you have done nothing wrong – sometimes,
things simply fall apart. don’t shut your heart. I’d hate to see your love rot and turn to hatred.)


Virgo —
you have endured well the contempt of others, my dear; you have taken every blow with open arms.
they have called you frigid and prude and arrogant and everything in between, but you knew better.
tell me then: if you can endure so well the slander of others, if you don’t care what they make of you,
why do you worry so? why do you see only blemishes when you look at yourself in the mirror?
your hesitance to trust others stems in your fear that if you let them in they’ll see your ugliness, all
the imagined imperfections you see in your reflection. you can’t trust others because you don’t trust
yourself; and I wish so badly that you would have a little more faith in who you are, in your beauty.
(being unable to forgive, jealousy and lust do not make you terrible. hate is human nature as much
as love is; emotions, be they bad or good, are intrinsic to mankind. you are such a passionate being,
despite your outward delicacy, and that, my dear, is simply stunning. please try to love yourself.)


Libra —
darling child, didn’t the gods tell you the mob sees dancers as something of the devil, especially
when their preferred stage is the sharp edge of a sword? few in this world love truth, and fewer still
are fond of things like righteousness and justice. your ability to remain indiscriminate in the face
of contradictory realities and deny none of them is both a blessing and a curse. your mind, I fear,
is the Pandora fate has crafted specifically for you; a beautiful gift that hides such doom and sorrow.
and you are aware of all of this – how you were meant for greater things, with your noble mind
and your true heart, yet on you dance, fighting against the windmills of adversity. how brave you are.
(know that your effort will not go without reward. know that you won’t be forever unloved, nor
will you be forever misunderstood. there will be those whom, like you, have the makings of just men,
and they will understand. keep your eyes open and search the crowd; that is what you do best.)


Scorpio —
I look at you and my heart grows small; there is so much sadness in you, from the flower
of your eyes to the slouching arch of your shoulders. you have been misjudged
and falsely accused for so long: whore, they said; monster, perverter, sickness of the soul –
and all of it because you like sex, as if somehow they are the virgin mary reborn,
the goddamn hypocrites. this, too, is something they have misunderstood; it is not sex
that you crave or are interested in. it is intimacy: it is the vulnerability that comes with having
your soul completely bared and lain before another; you crave love, in its’ purest of forms.
(and I know they have convinced you that someone of your kind is not “worthy”; fuck that.
your love is priceless, and one day someone will call your battle scars a masterpiece.
one day someone will love you as wholly as you deserve to be loved. they will love all of you.)


Sagittarius —
there is such wanderlust in you – you’ve made a home out of the long, long roads,
walked the earth to its’ ends and bathed in the oceans of the horizon; the sky was
your sole companion, its’ stars your map, the wind a spellsong to ward off the passing
sadness and melancholia that threatened to dim the flame of your heart. oh, my child;
how very wonderful you are, a barefoot nomad forever in awe of the world. the feeble
minded call you rootless; how wrong they are. having a voyager heart does not make you
afraid of commitment. it simply means your roots lie elsewhere, splat across the world.
(do not let their malice plant doubts into your mind’s garden; your gypsy heart is worth more
than all their empty ones combined. keep daring the world, sate your thirst for journeying;
only exploration can ever lead to discovery, so let your feet and head both walk the world.)


Capricorn —
good god, you’re so tired. life has worn you down to the marrow of your bones,
took everything from you until you were bare-handed; and yet.
and yet you’re still here, standing before me, your spine hardened to titanium,
a delicate thing that can withstand even the most apocalyptic of sieges;
you still find it in you to smile, bitter-bloody-all-teeth and still happy, somehow.
know that I am proud of you; of your bravery, of your resilience,
of how you’ve clung to life by the skin of your teeth. I am proud of you.
(and know that you deserve happiness – you may feel like you don’t, you may feel
that it is above the likes of you, but you deserve it; you have earned it.
know that one of these days, the sun will shine down on your lane, too.)


Aquarius —
there’s so much of you inside your skin I am often surprised it has yet to come apart at the seams;
there’s so much of everything inside your skull I am left in awe of your bones – often I wonder,
how are they strong enough to contain the exploding universe inside? my god, this world of ours
has seven wonders and you are all of them. the fortitude of your bright mind ceaselessly
surprises me; I know what to expect, and yet I am still thrown off by your ingenuity and your
ability to remain rational in your abstract ways. nobody but you is open enough to accept it all;
nobody but you can see through the prism of all eyes and walk away with their sanity intact.
(I know they call you “cold”, an ice queen of the Siberian tundra. let them be. those who cannot
see your white-hot warmth are not worthy of your brilliance. you are the brightest star, my dear,
someone accepting and embracing of it all. do not settle for anyone that is blind to your light.)


Pisces —
and how terrible it must be for you, who lives always halfway, to be stuck in a world
that demands certainties which you will never have to give. it is not to say you don’t want
to be resolute – you simply cannot. your world does not have truth, nor does it have falsity;
all that your world has are colors, swirling, forever mingling anew like the clouds in the sky.
one day you are overflowing with everything that blooms inside of you, and lilies
are spilling out of your ribs; the next, you’re empty, and you can’t for the life of you
find something that is all-encompassing enough to fill the growing abyss south of your sternum.
(know that it is okay. the most humane thing you can be is full of contradictions;
as maddening as it can be, each paradox gets you closer to the entity your peers call god.
it was never the devil that built his home on the crossroads, you know. embrace your nature.)

—  poetry for the signs: the “you’ve done well” edition, L. Schreiber

so, to be blunt, the clique sucks. not all of you, no, but a majority of the clique sucks. a lot of us lack respect, not only for tyler and josh, but for other artists, bands, and their fanbase, such as melanie martinez and the crybabies. (the melanie hate was very very strong on the clique amino app)

i know i’m not being any better than they are now, by ranting about all this, but i NEED to get it off my chest.

let’s start off with the whole fake fan thing. there is no such thing as a ‘fake fan’! only NEW fans! if you meet someone who only knows the radio hits, introduce them to more songs! back when i first got into tøp, i bought a blurryface shirt with lane boy lyrics on it, despite only listening to the song a few times and i hadn’t memorized EVERY word. i wore it to church one night and a clique member ran up to me and busted out rapping the whole song and i got pretty freaked out! i told her that i’d only listened to the song maybe three times and she rolled her eyes, called me a fake fan, and left me alone with my little emo eyeliner and my little emo self. it hurt me, because she was degrading me in the fanbase for not knowing all the words to lane boy.

next let’s talk about faking suicide. that’s OBVIOUSLY not okay. suicide is a very, very serious thing that shouldn’t be joked about. i see it happen within the clique all the time, both real suicides and fake, and both hurt me very badly. but in different ways. do you realize how many people you’re hurting by faking your own death, all for attention? tyler isn’t going to write a song about you, you know, because you “died”.

now the address leaking, ah, the address leaking. that’s tyler and jenna’s personal life and their privacy. they had JUST moved into this new house! they must have felt so unsafe in their own home, which is supposed to be a place of comfort and protection from all you crazy, rabid fans trying to rip his clothes and steal his shoes. how safe would you feel if someone leaked your address online for the whole world to see?

next we have the crashed wedding. that whole thing was so, so disrespectful. that was josh’s friend’s wedding. if you were famous, and went to your friend’s big special day, and a fan decided to break in in the middle of it just to get a picture with you, would you feel annoyed or upset? because in the picture the girls took with him, josh looked pretty pissed. and josh has the right to say “no” to anybody who wants a picture with him. he doesn’t have to do whatever you say, your wish isn’t his command, and that goes for tyler too. ever wonder why they walk fast in public, and why tyler started hearing hoods and baseball caps to cover his face lately? to hide from us.

the crap with the crybabies. it’s nuts. y'all are making nasty comments about melanie’s appearance, and personally, i think mel is a very beautiful young woman. the real ugly people are the ones who made fun of her and her fans, they’re ugly on the inside. it isn’t right. i know that you would all feel awful if someone told you that your tooth gap was the 8th wonder of the world or made rude comments on your eyebrows. mel is a human being, and so are all of her fans, so start treating them with respect. because EVERY human deserves respect.

i understand why the clique is so hated. we’re mostly made up of awful people. i feel bad for tyler and josh because they deserve better fans than us. they deserve respectful, thoughtful people that wait patiently for new music instead of rabid, rude kids who spam their social media accounts, pretty much harassing them and pressuring them into releasing new music, commenting “i love you” constantly on their posts, and invading their personal lives and their privacy.

that’s it. that’s all i have to say. the clique sucks and i’m pretty ashamed that i even called myself a clique member. until you all clean up your act, i’m not one of you. i’m not a part of the clique anymore, i’m simply someone who listens to tøp. i’m just a fan. i refuse to identify as part of this madhouse called the skeleton clique. feel free to rb and rant about it yourself. i’m done

Todrick Hall speaks out about Taylor Swift video backlash

Yahoo Music: So when some people saw you dancing in “Look What You Made Me Do,” they were not pleased, to put it mildly. What exactly happened?

Todrick Hall: They saw a clip, just a few seconds, that featured Taylor Swift standing in a line of dancers, and they started forming all types of conclusions. I was just very confused by that, because I knew that there was nothing “Formation”-esque or Lemonade-esque about the video. Artistically, I didn’t feel that was the case. I’m a humongous Beyoncé fan. I’ve worked with Beyoncé. I’ve choreographed for Beyoncé. And I would never intentionally be a part of art that I felt was ripping off my favorite artist of all time. But I felt like these were two completely different lanes.

“Sellout” was one of the common names you were called.

Yes, one of the main things that people said was, “He wanted to make his money. Well, good for him, he got paid. And I guess payment is enough for you to sell out your family, your people, your community.” But this had nothing to do with money. I didn’t do this Taylor Swift video for money. I did it because she’s my friend, and she was very excited about it. And she wanted people to be there who she could trust, because it was a very big undertaking. I was proud to be there, but money was not a factor for me. I don’t do things for money.

But there are people online who have a problem with the fact in general that you and Taylor are friends?

Yes, I have gotten comments from people who are upset and have literally said the fact that I am friends with a white person is a problem, because white people don’t possess the ability to love or ever truly care about black people. And I find that very disheartening. I’ve grown up in a neighborhood where I went to church with and lived with and went to school with beautiful black people; when I look at them, I see myself. But then I was also in a peculiar situation, because I danced in a dance group where I was the only black person in the dance studio. In some cases, I was the only black cheerleader in my school. I did theater where I was the only black person, the “token black person.” And working at Disney, oftentimes I was the only black person in the show at Disney World or Disneyland on any given day. And I also did tours where I was the only black singer; I did a cruise ship where I was the only black person in the cast. So I’ve been used to being in situations where I’ve had to find friendships and find love and find similarities. My whole brand, everything that I stand for and everything I’ve always stood for, is equality and love. So it’s just really difficult for me to understand why it is an issue for people, a legitimate issue, that I have white friends, and that Taylor Swift happens to be one of my many white friends.

Apparently there’s a thing called the “cookout,” which is like your invitation to be a part of the black community. Some people have, like, deemed themselves the Woke Police, and they decide to strip you online of your invitation to attend the “cookout.” It boggles my mind that people are deciding whether or not I’m down enough, black enough, or woke enough to be “invited.” If I have to hate people and judge people based on their race, sexual orientation, or religion, then sorry, but I’d rather order pizza.

What is Taylor really like? Describe your bond.

What people are mostly forgetting is that Taylor Swift really is my friend. Sometimes because she is a celebrity of such a huge status, inarguably one of the biggest stars of our generation, people forget that there is a human side to her, that she has real friends that she calls and talks to about her real problems. And I call her, and I have cried on her shoulder about my own relationship issues and family issues and career issues. We are friends, and so when she asked me to do this video, I said absolutely. It wasn’t a question for me. I trust her, and I had no problem doing the video. And I just think that it’s really sad and shocking that me doing four eight-counts of choreography is enough to make people feel the need to question my “blackness” or “wokeness.”

Taylor came to see me in Kinky Boots and she stayed after the show for two hours and met every single person in that cast — took pictures, signed stuff, met every usher, every custodian, every orchestra member, every producer and their kids. And then she went outside and met fans outside the theater afterwards, stayed there for over two and a half hours after the show and wouldn’t leave until every single person had been met. There are just very few celebrities in the world who would do something like that. She didn’t have to do that. She could’ve come to the show, said hi to me, and left. That’s just what type of person she is, and what type of person she’s always been. Her parents raised her so well, and when you’re in the room with them, you can feel that energy.

It just is shocking to me that people will see an image of her and hear stories online about her, or arguments with other celebrities who she did not ask to be involved with, who recorded her against her will without her knowing and then decided to release six-second clips of a conversation that happened to paint her to be this evil person that I don’t believe that she is. Come on, we’ve watched millions of episodes of Law & Order or seen Judge Judy a million times; how are they not able to conclude that there is something missing from this? If you feel the need to record someone on video with people there, the intentions may not have been the most pure.

Some of the criticism Taylor has received recently has to do with the fact that she has not been politically outspoken in past years, like some of her peers Katy Perry or Lady Gaga.

Yeah, many people have been tweeting me, “She supports Trump! She probably voted for Trump!” They’re making this huge assumption, when Taylor has never to my knowledge come out and said anything about her being pro-Trump. But people would still rather believe that she is the one who is pushing Trump’s agenda. That was one of the major things that was tweeted at me, and I’m like, “So you are mad that you think she might support Donald Trump? But you’re not mad that Kanye has been very openly pro-Trump?” I don’t understand that.

Look, I’m not Taylor Swift, so I can’t speak for her and why she does or does not choose to speak or not speak about any specific subject matter. All I know is that she has been nothing but a great person to me. Her family has welcomed me into their home and treated me like I was a member of the family. They’ve welcomed every single person I’ve ever brought around them. I’ve never felt like there was ever a moment that I couldn’t be myself, and talk about the fact that I’m gay or whatever. At Thanksgiving, we all sat around and talked about it, and there was another one of her friends there who was African-American, and we all sat down and talked about racism and watched 13th on Netflix and talked about how important it was. It was one of the most beautiful conversations I’ve ever had, because sometimes as an African-American person I feel like I can’t voice my opinion about how difficult it is to be not just an African-American person in the entertainment industry, but how scary it is to be black in America, in even 2017.

When it comes to Taylor, all I know is that she has been a sweet, amazing human being to me. When she calls me, it’s hardly ever to talk about her accomplishments or things that she’s going through. She calls me and says, “How’s your heart? Are you OK?” I’ve been around her an awful lot, and if it were some type of crazy, fake façade, I think I would have figured it out by now. I feel like it’s a genuine part of who she is, and she’s a human being. Has she made mistakes? Yes. Will she make mistakes again? Yes. But let the person in America who has not made mistakes raise their hand.

I think that I’m on my own journey; every artist is on their own journey. Maybe one day, Taylor will start being super-political, and using her voice to do thing that people think that she should be doing. But even then, she will probably be ridiculed for not being vocal enough, or not being on the right side. I don’t think that there is a way to win in this industry, so every person has to take their own journey at their own pace, at their own time, and do what they feel like is right. All I know is that Taylor has been nothing but sweet to me since day one, and if she asks me to do a video, I’m absolutely going be there.

I’m not apologizing for being a part of the video and doing four eight-counts of choreography in it. I thought it was a great piece of art. I thought it was awesome. It’s broken so many records and I’m proud to be a part of it. I don’t think I’ve sold out my race or my community — the gay community, the black community. I think that I was just in a piece of art that my friend made. I’m not issuing a statement to people about it to explain myself, because there’s nothing to explain. I’m not sorry that I did it, and I don’t think that it was a mistake. If I had a do-over, I would absolutely be there for another eight hours, in heels, dancing with her.

Is Taylor aware of the heat you’ve gotten for being in her video?

I have talked to her about it, and she has been very uplifting and given me a lot of information about how when you’re doing big things, there will always be people who have something to say about it. But I think that Beyoncé gave me the best advice when I met her. She said, “Don’t scroll down. Don’t go down and look at comments, and when you do something as an artist, make a decision and stick to it. You don’t need to apologize for things that you’ve done.” I use that all the time.

You have gotten this sort of criticism before.

Yeah. In the beginning, it was because I did videos based on stereotypes of a particular group that put people in a negative light. And so I took those notes, because I consider myself to be a humble person, and I tried to apply them, and tried to do less work on my YouTube channel that stereotyped people, less work that stereotyped my race as being “ghetto” or “ratchet,” because I did understand the argument. I think it’s a really difficult thing when you toe the line with comedy, because there are certain things that some people are going to think is funny, but then some people are always going to be offended. The political climate has changed so much over the past months since Donald Trump became president, and it has just been a very scary place to create content online. So I tried to do whatever I can to create content that everyone can love and that is inclusive of everybody.

It’s just something that I deal with every day. I wrote an album about my life [Straight Outta Oz], about how I fell in love at 19 years old with a boy who was British and who just happened to be white. I wrote a song called “Color,” and in the song I say the line, “You’re my favorite hue.” What I meant by that when I wrote the song was it’s supposed to be a direct relation to the 1939 Wizard of Oz film, and then everything turns to color when Dorothy gets to Oz. I felt like my whole world was black and white before I met this person. But people took that as that white was my favorite color, and that was what I preferred. People have assumed that am the type of person that refuses to date people of my own race or associate with people of my own race. Which, I don’t feel the need to prove to them that I have in fact dated multiple black men and Puerto Rican, Latino men. I’m an equal opportunist when it comes to love. I think everyone is beautiful. You fall in love with a person, not the outer layer of skin.

It’s really frustrating because I don’t think that people realize that when I got to L.A., I lived in not a great neighborhood. A policeman drove up onto a sidewalk, got out of the car, pushed my face on the ground, put my hands on my back, pulled a gun out on me. I have never felt so scared in my entire life. I have witnessed so many things like that. It’s very difficult for me to go and spend time in a predominantly Caucasian neighborhood without the cops being called on me, because people don’t know why I’m there and they think I look suspicious. I have had a lot of issues and dealt with racism in the same capacity as a lot of other people. I have written so many songs, even on Straight Outta Oz, about the Black Lives Matter movement, because it’s something that I’m very passionate about. It’s something that I definitely use my voice and my platform to speak out against. So it’s frustrating that people who have never met me in person like to make huge, incorrect assumptions about me and go and scream them and yell them from the rooftops online.

I just strongly feel that if we can’t get along within our own race, and have to point fingers and yell at people who we think don’t have our back when we don’t know anything about them — we haven’t listened to the facts, we haven’t seen the footage, there are no receipts to show that this person is not a proud African-American person who isn’t down to fight for equality for everyone’s sake — if we fight with each other so much that we’re tearing down our own race and our own community, how does that make us any better than the people in Charlottesville, carrying the tiki torches? How are we any better than those people, and how are we ever going to meet in the middle and finally be able to say, “Let’s be one unified group of people”? I just don’t understand how it’s possible, and that what makes me so upset.

Online outrage is at an all-time high right now, for sure. Everyone is on edge.

I think that we’ve got to figure out a way within our own community to stop tearing people down and stop making assumptions and looking for reasons to be mad. I don’t know what is happening in the world right now, but now is a scary time. People are looking for someone to blame and someone to point fingers at. I don’t think that Taylor Swift is the problem with America right now. People can try to make that be the issue, but there is a much bigger issue here in our country that we need to look at and recognize, and figure out what we can do to be a part of making the world a better place, to be nice and sweet and kind to each other, and to realize that racism is a huge horrible thing that has kept a lot of people down.

But I think it’s going to take every race, every minority, every gay person, every trans person, every straight person, waking up and realizing that we can’t do this alone. We can’t divide into our own little sections and decide that we’re going to secretly hate each other and be mad if one person goes over and shakes the hand of somebody on the other team. We all need to be one team. We all have to go out and extend an olive branch to each other and try to help each other out and try to build one another up. That’s the only way that we can be successful. That’s the only way that we can make this world the beautiful place that God created it to be. Spread love, and love each other. That’s what I try to do.

Did you engage with any of your online critics about this video?

I gave no negative tweets, didn’t argue with people on social media, had nothing to say to them. But I even went so far as to give somebody my phone number online so they could call me and said, “If you feel I’ve done something that’s offended you, or if you could shed some light on as to how me being involved with this video or being friends with Taylor Swift — other than the fact that she is white and you feel that she is the epitome of white privilege, the poster child for white privilege … If there’s anything you can do to shed some light to me as to how I can be a better example for young African-American kids growing up, then I would love to talk to you on the phone.” And I meant it. And I talked to them, and I felt like we came to a good place. I’m a humble person; I’m not opposed to taking constructive criticism.

There was a time two years ago where I would’ve damn near gotten carpal tunnel because I would’ve stayed up all night trying to argue back and forth [on Twitter], thinking, “What would Regina George do?” Now I’m adopting the policy, “What would Beyoncé do?” So I’m going to kill all these people with kindness. I’m going to be nice to them, and I’m just going to prove to them, one by one when they meet me, what type of person I am. Support my friends, be nice to people, and do what I have to do to be a good human being and play my part in society and in this crazy political climate.

Obviously I’m not diminishing the horrible things that have happened to get us to this point, but at this point we have a choice to either band together and fight and talk about the real issues and the real problems, and Taylor Swift is not the problem. If we can all accept the fact that there is a bigger problem and start having dialogue and talking to each other — not just with the people that it’s comfortable for us to talk to, our own people and people who look like us, but to people who might not understand where we’re coming from or what we’ve been through — then we might get closer to making this world a unified place, the way that Michael Jackson sang about in his songs and in his music. While I know that is not the theme of “Look What You Made Me Do,” I do believe that is the theme of Taylor Swift’s heart and the person that she truly is on a personal level.

(x)

Loose thoughts by Jayalvarrez

I’m usually pretty closed off to sharing any thoughts or feelings but whatever, fuck it maybe I can make someone feel something, these are just thoughts and feelings of MY opinions that I pulled from my list of notes scribbled down in different moments.. I’ve always said it before I barely show 5% of who I really am on social media.. Thank you to everyone who supports me.. I couldn’t live my life like this without you.

Confidence

Confidence is natural, arrogance is forced.

Never think your to smart that you can’t still be the student, wisest people die still learning and improving.

Focus on your own ideas and directions, don’t let others & your mentors tell you everything and influence everything because even the most helping hand has biased ideas and thoughts

Trust your past self on ideas and thoughts it’s the same person you got you to where you are in this moment

You have to believe yourself and convenice your self to feel powerful about what you say, hearing your own voice has a certain ring to it like no one else’s.

Use yourself for everything you are, you truly are amazing and unqiue be loud about it but be humble & do with love.
You are undefinable, You have no single label or group you belong to.. and your mind isn’t even slightly opened yet.

Being honest with yourself saves you in the long run always.

Never be insecure of your creativity.

Don’t live a life based only around how you look, Spending time on your mind and soul is everything..
Determining your self worth off your looks will leave you empty & with short burst of satisfaction.

Remember where you started from and where you are going, You use to dream of the things you have now.. even though this life style becomes casual never forget what got you to this exact moment.


Girls & Sex

My brain is built more like a female than a males, It’s giving me an emotional reach to deeply understand and open up to any feelings or thoughts of any human being. Being soft & loving is being strong.

If she doesn’t want it as much as or more then me I have no interest, sex is mental and eye contact can give you more then anything, giving love is more then expecting all the other persons attention and actions , unless it’s feeding the soul, passionate with a twisted mind it’s a waste of time.. treat every touch on her body like it’s art. 15 second feelings are nice but a feeling in your mind for hours after is even better.


Gorgeous girls and body’s are easy, gorgeous minds and souls are hard. A girl with a beautiful body doesn’t always make for a beautiful girl.

Remember there’s always far better things ahead then anything left behind.

Being sweet & loving to girls will never not be cool, but regardless of gender actions get reactions.

Energy is EVERYTHING.

Never worry about a good looking guy stealing your girl you better worry about that guy who emotionally gets your girl more & makes your girl laugh more 😉.

Getting under a girls skin with just my eyes and words as a connection makes it taste so much better (literally) than relying on physical looks or surface substance to entertain my mind.

I think few people are really built for relationships, I think technology will save us all.

It doesn’t matter how it looks and feels to anyone else it’s how it looks and feels to us.

Don’t let chasing pussy control your life or distract your big plan.

Being physically beautiful is nice but let it be nothing more then the gates to the soul.


Human Relations

i’ve got more personalities then the people i’ve met all together in my entire life combined, I don’t expect people to understand me, more likely expect them to judge me then to ever care to think past clueless first thoughts.

Take everyone with a grain of salt and a open mind, people don’t come with directions.

Peoples opinion of you is their truth, it’s not necessarily your truth or could be even close with to right at all.

The way you talk about the people you hate is a transparency of your own self esteem.

Don’t worry about trusting people, just don’t trust their emotions. Most people can’t understand them self how could they truly trust and understand you, & that’s fine.

Study psychology and history it will give you understanding and every answer you need, the world evolves but human emotions never will, people really aren’t that complex at base.

Don’t fight back into negativity and childishness insecurity, it only makes things worst.

If you want to hurt someone do it mentally, actions are short lived.

If you constantly blame other people for your problems take a look in your own soul.

make peace with your past so it doesn’t ruin your future

Standing up for someone who can’t stand up for them self is the coolest thing you can ever do.

To truly love someone is accepting someone for every thing they come as.

World & thoughts


Language is a forum of communication not always a measure of intelligence, At times I’ve had deeper conversations with just my eyes and touch then I have with words. You could be the most understanding person on the verbal side, but without a emotional understanding you may never be able to communicate with some people.

You don’t need to be any skin tone or ethnicity to practice and enjoy any cultural feelings, every human on this planet bleeds the same blood chances are you ain’t that special.

your not meant to be accepted or fit in, if you were you’d probably not of left that old life.

You can’t blame any one person or culture for anything, this planet is more diverse then you could ever process, Don’t get mad at a person for believing or acting a certain way even if it seems wrong or foolish in your eyes.

Being a good person won’t always benefit you, but there’s some emotional satisfaction in helping others.

You can’t fight science wether you like it or not, it holds the answers to all your fears and to all your questions, It’s a depressing beautiful thing.

Just because the Mass of people believe something is right or wrong doesn’t mean it’s either right or wrong, Most people go off emotions not logic, 1st world go figure.

I feel most alive in moments I don’t feel human. It’s all I really care to live for at times, these split seconds that my mind gives me these chemicals is all I crave at times.

ART HAS NO MASTER OR CRITIC JUST DIFFERENT OPINIONS.


I stand by no perfection and i’m a complete psychopath, I’ve been told i’m crazy outta my mind but attest it keeps me from going insane.. Anything said above can change in the moment & a mind with rules & barriers is limited, a wise & witty mind is what I work towards 😉 I'f any words can make you feel or relate it was worth me sharing! If I annoy and get under your skin for being..well just who I am.. I hope it hurts 👁

Love - @jayalvarrez

@jayalvarrez

“don’t kill flowers growing inside of you for someone who doesn’t appreciate  the way you bloom.”  iambrillyant

“How strong you are, to go through Hell on Earth, and still smile and carry yourself like you’re in Heaven.”   Maxwell Diawuoh 

“Now, let me be, let me not want for another. Let me fall in love with the curves and edges of my own body and soul. Let me plant a garden in my heart, and let it spring forth in a blanket of décor.” @prolixen

“I’m not going to let anyone steal or destroy who I’m meant become.” @riffatmatinpoetry

“she was a single drop of the ocean, but she moved with the force of a
tsunami” @a-pen-and-some-words

“You are damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets.” —  Shooting Stars and Comets | Nikita Gill

“some people are artists. some, themselves are art.” @ever-blooming

“ And don’t you ever feel like you are a summary of other people’s opinions. If anything, you’re an unfinished book, and you decide who you let co-write.” —  k.h. 1.04 am @evolvement

“Even all the grandest things in life were once something lesser than what they are today.” —  It’s okay to start with rubble, castles were built on less / A.G @abasnails

“be softer with you. you are a breathing thing. a memory to someone. a home to a life” —  Nayyirah Waheed

“ People who only wish to stifle your bloom, do not belong in your garden.” —  Upile. @odetopablo

“We will always be something. Because Darling, we were never nothing.” —  Sarn @sarncobin

“The real beauty of being human is knowing that whether something destroys or strengthens you is completely your choice.” @i-wrotethisforme 

“She stopped being your Icarus. And she became her own sun.” —  cynthia go // Sun [85/365]

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” —  Rumi @wearefearfullyandwonderfullymade

“ i was not made with fire in my belly so i could be put out i was not made with lightness on my tongue so i could be easy to follow” —  from Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

“some women fear the fire some women simply become it…”—  r.h. sin

“The body changes over time, becoming a gallery of scars, a canvas of experience, a testament to life and one’s capacity to endure it.”—  Janet Fitch, Paint It Black

“And for me, you are the best piece of art of this collection called humans.” —  NALK @notalostkid 

“Your roots do not determine the beauty of your blossom.”—  Sage S. 

- Afterword

This is for all the rainy days. they are not necessarily quotes from artist or famous people (actually most of them are from the spilled ink section of tumblr), but they are words that had made me feel better. I hope this helps + please check out the poet’s blogs! Those people are amazing and deserve so much recognition for what they do. (please tell me if anyone want their poem taken down !!!)

PSA

(( OOC: Guys, you’re fucking beautiful. Your body is beautiful, your shape is beautiful, Your skin is beautiful, Your straight or curly hair is beautiful and so is the color, the clothes you wear are beautiful, the way you do or DON’T do your makeup is beautiful, Your brown/green/blue/yellow/purple/WHATEVER colored eyes are beautiful, your nose is beautiful, your smile is beautiful, YOU as a WHOLE are beautiful. 

And you know what else? Your personality is beautiful. You’re kindness is beautiful, your happiness is beautiful, the way you empathize with others is beautiful, the way you help those around you is beautiful, your goodness is beautiful. 

You’re talented. The way you dance, sing, draw, write, cook, sew, read, play sports, game, put together puzzles / problem solve, comprehend academic issues, understand other human beings, WHATEVER… talent is not limited to what is seen

Do not base your self love off of what the media tells you to love. 

Do not base your confidence on a few likes or comments on your social media. 

Do not compare your beauty to someone elses unless the purpose is to appreciate the beauty in our differences. 

Do not diminish your worth because someone tells you you’re not good enough.  

If we all allowed the negativity in the world to tear off the pieces of us that it didn’t like, the pieces that make us unique, the pieces that make us US, then we’d have nothing left. 

You are not a blank canvas to be altered by everyone with a paintbrush. You’re already a masterpiece… You are whole, you are beautiful and you are unique. Start believing it. )) 

Sun signs according to people I’ve met

Aries

Usually very motivated and energetic, they have a really strong aura around them. I admire them a lot, they seem like cool people and may seem intimidating but are super nice in person! Protective of their loved ones. Goals in terms of swag and athleticism they got. Teach me how to carry myself like you please.


Taurus

The cutest, most amazing (even if a bit stubborn) friends. Best partners for getting food or watching a movie together. Taurus boys are my cryptonite, Taurus girls are the loves of my life. They are very much real in a sense of being human. Sensual, chill and true, really “earthy”. Fake isn’t in their vocabulary. Seriously I know quite a few Tauruses and I love them all to death. Only problem is when we disagree on something major, neither will back down from the argument.


Gemini

I always lowkey hate on them, but they aren’t all that bad; Conversations with them are the most fun, and when I am with them I never get bored; I know a lot of male Gemini’s and no female ones sadly; in general they are nice people but usually fuckboys. Probably wouldn’t date one (but flirting with them is a lot of fun). Good sense of humour.


Cancer

Being a Cancer myself I tend to be drawn to a specific type of Cancer females on social media. Those are the The Moms, their entire vibe is really soft and warm and motherly but also protective and strong. We will cook you dinner because we love you. We are good cooks in general. Foul mouths and will fight you any time. Pretend to be edgy, but we usually aren’t. Crying over our partner (or lack of) all the damn time but usually in private.


Leo

Ughh. Leo females are okay but Leo males? They annoy me to no end and I always bicker with them, but at the same time they are usually really charming so :/. Lowkey hate them and their inflated ego but they are good friends which I appreciate. Loud and sooo in your face but loyal and can take you to the most bizarre and amazing places. Overall infuriating 0/10 do not recommend. (Jk)


Virgo

Okay, so I am biased, but Virgos are literally perfect human beings. They are smart, logical, neat and polished and just ugh. Especially females are really classic beauties with killer fashion sense. Overall all genders seem to have a feminine vibe? It’s sooo hard to get them even remotely interested in you but it’s worth it in the end. Can push you to be the best version of yourself. They can literally step on me. Heart eyes motherfucker.


Libra

Oookay, so. Libras are weird, man. It’s hard to dislike them, because they can be so nice but you never know if they are real nice or fake nice. Seems like usually fake tho. They are super gorgeous, in a very luxurious way and their lives are the true aesthetics. First impression is that they are pretty shallow, but I wouldn’t assume that about people without knowing them.


Scorpio

Damn I love Scorpios! Deep af, people I can talk to about my deepest thoughts, discussing occult stuff, cry on their shoulders or just hug it all out m8. I feel super comfortable with them. Best partners for planning an assassination on your ex (or Trump) tbh. Aesthetics on point as well. I am living for that mysterious grunge shit vibe. You go my bros.


Sagittarius

Don’t hate me for this, but the only sign I usually cannot stand to keep close are Sags. They are amazing conversationalists with the sharpest minds out there and interesting points of view. Talking to them about basically any topic can take hours and not get boring, and you could take them for an adventure for a week and it would be the best choice. But longterm relationship or friendship? Nah. I do not trust.


Capricorn

I have a lot of Capricorn women in my life and I admire them so much. They are so hardworking, punctual and they sacrifice themselves for their loved ones everyday, in every way. Also their love is so good and true, damn. The Cap stereotype is that they are bad with feelings but I strongly disagree. One of the most amazing signs out there. Protect them and treasure them.


Aquarius

Aw my favourite aliens. Just kidding. They are often misunderstood I think, but they are actually super cool. They are not afraid of being different and that’s a really admirable trait imo. Also the best partners for sharing your conspiracy theories with. If you feel like they just walked all over you, they probably didn’t mean it, they just don’t realize it sometimes? The most interesting people to keep around, if you can tolerate their cold exterior.


Pisces

Damn you Pisces. Why you all gotta be so unpredictable. I know a great deal of Pisces people and each of them is so different, it is simply impossible to categorize them in any way lol. My brother is a confident social butterfly. One of my friends is an aesthetics grunge queen with a lot of sadness inside. My other friend is pretty shy and introverted with a lot of super weird quirks (probably the only one fitting the usual Pisces category). Another one is a typical nerd who is however pretty choleric and fake on the inside. And another one was the spawn of satan and literally the ugliest and most selfish person I know. What even are Pisces lmao.

Valentine's Day HC

This is my Valentine’s Day present for @sleepingupsidedown blame her for the suffering

-Lance has everyone’s back

-Even if no one ever really talks to him but Hunk

-Keith goes to Allura or Shiro because god forbid he talks to anyone else

-Allura goes to Coran and Coran goes to Allura

-Shiro only goes to Keith

-Pidge goes to Hunk or Shiro

-Hunk can talk to Pidge, Keith, Lance , and Shay

-Lance well, when it comes to the real important stuff, the homesickness, feeling inferior, a burden, a seventh wheel, Lance has no one

-Lance tries to form close bonds with the others but they never give him the chance, and those that do he doesn’t want to hurt by telling them of how unhappy he is

-Or he feels the horrible tension that seems to constantly be around them so he takes it upon himself to be the comedy relief

-The reason he flirts is because it makes him feel closer to his brother who taught him all those awful pick up lines

-He’s used to being overlooked it happens when you have a big family, it can’t be helped

-So when they finally have a moment to stop and relax Lance isn’t all that bothered that everyone naturally paired off only leaving him alone

-Lance then decides to simply go to his room, have some me time

-When he finally has his mask on he finds that he has tracks down his face mask(HIS VERY EXPENSIVE AND RARE FACEMASK MIND YOU)

- Cursing he realized it was wet with his tears

- He rushed to fix the mask and try to stop his crying but he finds that he can’t

-He can’t stop crying

-He can’t breathe

-He can’t hear the music he put on earlier

-He’s on the floor

-He doesn’t know what’s wrong and yet he remains quiet, rides it out by himself because who can he tell

-So he waits for what feels like forever to be able to breathe again

-Then he just waits for the panic and blind terror to subside

-And when it’s all over he gets up, the timer went off, it’s time to take off the face mask

-He doesn’t want to be alone anymore

-He doesn’t want to be there

-He wants to be in his mama’s arms

-He wants to listens to his siblings trying to make him laugh

-He wants his dad to be making him chocolate caliente

-Hell he just wants someone to talk to

-He just wants someone in the spaceship to have his back for once

-Someone who is genuinely interested to see him or just listen to everything be it good or bad

-He wants too many things that will never come to pass

-So instead he lays back in bed until the next battle because what else is there to do?

-What Lance doesn’t know is that it’s his birthday

-Everyone went and paired up to go prepare the surprise party for Lance the flirt who just happened to be born on Valentine’s Day

-Hunk went to go make the cake with Coran

-Pidge went to find some dank memes

-Allura,Shiro, and Keith went on to decorate the common space

-What Lance doesn’t know is that they all love him and appreciate him

-What Lance doesn’t know is that Keith planned all of this after Hunk let it slip that Lance’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day

-What Lance doesn’t know is that Keith plans to tell him how he feels about him

-WHAT LANCE DOESN’T KNOW is that the reason no one has had time is because they have been busy trying to hunt down the beauty products the know Lance loves or anything that brings him happiness to be honest

-You see Hunk isn’t making an Altean cake, oh no, he managed to find more than half of the ingredients to make Lance’s favorite cake, a tres leches

-Pidge found at least 3 new face mask made by humans for humans

-Allura is giving Lance a book she’s been writing with all the pick up lines Lance has ever directed toward her because she doesn’t know when but at some point it stopped being annoying and it started to be endearing

-Shiro is giving Lance the chance to give himself a nickname that Shiro will use from then on but it must be appropriate

-And Keith….. he has a whole letter were he wrote down all the feelings he knows he won’t be able to ever say to him

-Just hundreds of words stating how much he loves him and how sorry he is for ever forgetting him

-Asking Lance if he will take him, God please allow him to have a special place in his heart

-So Lance doesn’t know that when he is finally feeling as if he can actually maybe function that the others have Hunk going to his door to coax him out of his room

-But when Lance learns about all of it, learns that he’s not alone and the others have his back

-Now his tears are from happiness and a spark of hope that not everything is impossible

-And yes he does have enough space for Keith, why wouldn’t he?

SuperCorp Convo (8)
  • Kara: you make this worth it
  • Lena: what?
  • Kara: being a superhero and all
  • Lena: *pleasantly confused* why do you say?
  • Kara: because it's a duty for me to save people... to ensure that people are safe from the bad decisions a lot of humans, and aliens alike, make in the face of despair and heartache.
  • And...
  • Lena: And?
  • Kara: and..*sweats, suddenly nervous as hell* well you make it all worth it because I know, in the midst of being choked to death and being thrown across from building to building, that I have the privilege to come home to someone so beautiful and loving and caring and-
  • Lena: you can have the last donut
  • Kara: *woops* YES THANK U
Signs According To People I’ve Met

Aries

Usually very motivated and energetic, they have a really strong aura around them. I admire them a lot, they seem like cool people and may seem intimidating but are super nice in person! Protective of their loved ones. Goals in terms of swag and athleticism they got. Teach me how to carry myself like you please.

Taurus

The cutest, most amazing (even if a bit stubborn) friends. Best partners for getting food or watching a movie together. Taurus boys are my cryptonite, Taurus girls are the loves of my life. They are very much real in a sense of being human. Sensual, chill and true, really “earthy”. Fake isn’t in their vocabulary. Seriously I know quite a few Tauruses and I love them all to death. Only problem is when we disagree on something major, neither will back down from the argument.

Keep reading

Ok so @littlestpersimmon has my all time favorite fam jam art style. Like I dare anyone to disagree with me when I say their stuff is tear inducing and awe inspiring. Hence I commissioned them to do this for piece a scene that I was writing for my pb&j fic but instead I stared at it for twenty minutes, wrote some fluff based on it, and made the last chapter super long to wrap it up because damn doesn’t this make you want nothing but happiness for them?

So in conclusion pb&j is pure, Bell is a beautiful human being, thank you for your time.
10

Happy birthday, Choi Sooyoung! (90.02.10)

Everyday you keep on growing into an even more beautiful person and it’s the biggest pleasure in the world to be able to witness that. Your kind heart and bright personality really make this world go around at a more peaceful pace, because even if things sometimes remain chaotic for a while, you always set the right example on what being human really means. Thank you for all the years you’ve spent with us and I hope we get to celebrate many more together. Thank you for all the love, joy and peace that you put into the world. Thank you for still being our cheerful princess, happy birthday  💖

2

Okay, you see this? These are jacket cover/inside cover of a book called “The Beast Within” written by Serena Valentino, who wrote other Disney books that are so amazing. I purchased her first Disney book in the Germany Pavilion in Epcot a few years ago and have bought every other book of hers since. But lemme tell you why this one is my favorite:

Not only is “Beauty and the Beast” one of my favorite films of all time, but the Beast is one of my favorite characters in any film. And this book makes him seem so much more understandable. It’s written in his perspective and there’s literally a scene where he’s so close to being an actual monster that he goes out to kill Belle after she runs away from him.

Did you hear me?

HE GOES TO KILL BELLE.

Of course, he fights the wolves that attack her because in his mind, he’s like “wait I can redeem my human status still” while the beast side is literally chanting “RIP THE FLESH OPEN AND SPILL HER BLOOD EVERYWHERE ALL OVER THE SNOW COVERED GROUND”.

Let me tell you, this book is so good. And it gives more backstory to Gaston (who is, as you guessed, one of my favorite Disney villains).

If you enjoyed the 2017 version of “Beauty and the Beast”, you’ll enjoy this book. It’s different than the film, but just as good, in my opinion.

I so badly wanted for this to be false.

I don’t know what it is I’m feeling right now. I’m angry. I’m beyond infuriated with the disgusting account that leaked this. It’s unfair for this person to keep getting away with this bullshit when Harry and his family have been nothing but kind. I’m angry at the sense of entitlement that certain “fans” have– going through his trash and stalking his hotel.

I’m devastated. It’s the same sinking feeling I had when Jay passed. And it’s even more heartbreaking knowing how Harry could’ve been struggling this whole time in silence– just how we never knew Jay was really sick until she was gone.

But I am so, so beyond proud of Harry. My god. Stopping for fans even after something like this has happened? He’s an incredible, beautiful human being. He’s too good to us, to the world.

It’s a helpless feeling, wanting to do so much and being able to do nothing but send positive vibes and love to your favorite when they’re grieving. Especially when this person, their music, their kindness, has served as a comfort to you during your own times of trouble. The best we can do is band together, be there for one another, love those who are most important to us with all of our hearts.

I wish I could stop crying, because I know this doesn’t directly affect me. I can’t even imagine what Harry, Gemma, Robin’s children, and poor Anne must be feeling. But the truth is, we are affected. Just as we were affected with Jay’s passing. These people loved our boys with all of their hearts, they adapted to this crazy lifestyle and were always so kind. It’s heart wrenching to know that seeing Robin proudly wearing Harry’s hat at The Garage would be the last time we’d see him. Fuck cancer.

I love you all. Take care of yourselves. Please, for goodness sake, be nice. Be good. To one another, and to Harry. Send this family all the love in the world right now.

Rip Robin. You touched so many, and you will never be forgotten.

Klance Coming Out Headcanon:

The Voltron Team spend sometime on a random planet. Lance hits on this girl, who actually likes being hit on the way he does and asks to take him to dinner as a thank-you for Voltron’s protection. Her twin brother insists on joining them, because who is this cocky human hitting on his sister. Keith insists on chaperoning as well, because so far all of Lance’s attempts at interstellar dating have ended up in disaster.

The Twin Brother is hot. Like super beautiful and takes an interest in Keith. Keith likes it and the two engage in light hearted banter and teasing. Lance notices. Lance gets jealous but for the most part keeps his cool. He is trying his best to pay attention to his date but he finds himself checking out the brother and Keith a lot. Keith looks good when he smiles. Frigging Keith.

At the end of the date, the girl tries to kiss Lance and it is awkward and he is not into it and trying to watch this lingering handshake Keith and the brother have going on.

The next day, Lance is diving deep in the rivalry game again. Keith goes to Lance’s room to call him out and ask him what’s up.

Lance is all, “I’m not talking to you, Keith.”

Keith is all, “Fine. Don’t talk to me then” and turns to walk away before Lance reaches out to him.

Lance: No, stay.

They sit on Lance’s bed in silence for a long time before Lance speaks.

Lance: Keith, I think I might be gay.”

Keith: What?

Lance: The other night on my date, I couldn’t stop looking at her brother. He made me feel things.

Keith: Oh? What sort of things?

Lance (dramatically): You, know. Gay things.

Keith contemplates this before responding: You’re not gay, Lance. Bi or Pan maybe. I’ve seen the effect girls have on you. Being attracted to one very good looking man doesn’t make you gay.

Lance: There may be others.

Keith: Oh?

Lance eyes Keith from the corner of his eye.

Lance: Fine. I’m bi, pan, whatever. How do you know so much about being gay, anyways, Keith?

Keith: Lance, I’m gay. Like, super gay. It’s not a secret.

Lance makes the Pidge is a girl face then: Damn it, Keith.

Keith: What?

Lance: You couldn’t let me have this one. I open my soul, come out to you and you tell me you are gay too? I just wanted to be the most fabulous gay man on this ship.

Keith: Being gay is not a competition! I thought we were bonding!

Coran, who has been eavesdropping outside the room, enters.

Coran: Boys, boys. I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. Not because I was listening, because I certainly wasn’t, but Lance, I am glad to hear that you are learning about yourself, and all of us on this team, will love and support you, no matter who you choose to love. However, both of you look at me very carefully. No matter what team you play for, I will always be the most fabulous gay man on this ship.

He winks, turns on his heal and leaves.

Lance: Coran is gay?

Keith: Oh, C’mon, really? You couldn’t tell? 

Aries — 

 Oh, my sweet, sweet child, what has the world done to you? You were a bright promise, the tomorrow we had hoped for, holding flowers in your mouth without crushing them and trusting blindly in those around you. And then came the blood; and now your fire is a quiet thing, a crackling murmur hidden in the shadows. You’ve curled into yourself like a newborn babe, held your heart tightly to your chest and began the tedious healing. And all the salt in your tears made the deep wounds sting; was it this what kept you pure? I wonder, oh, I wonder. Before you, I had never seen an anathema so full of innocence. (The world tried to cast you down from paradise; and it succeeded. But the fall couldn’t maim you, for fire cannot kill fire – it simply shrunk you, much like a mimosa bloom. I hope one day you’ll feel safe enough to flower, for there is so much beauty in you.)

Taurus — 

 I wish I could wrap my hands around your shoulders and hold you close for a while, because oh, what sad things they are, your bones. I am so sorry, beloved; so very sorry. And I am well aware these apologies cannot change anything, but I want you to know that there is someone who sees you as you are – even when all the others see is your superfluous frivolity and your desire for riches, I see the thoughtful mind, the gentle gestures, each and every of your heartbeats. The song of you is imprinted into my memory
as the change in seasons is; you are unforgettable, something so precious and so very dear. (Don’t let them shame you for your greed – those who try to do so cannot wrap their all too little minds around the fact that sin is not necessarily negative. Your love for gold has root in the same place as your love for others; you only want it so you may share it.)

Gemini — 

 It’s lonely, isn’t it? not being the way all others are. They tell you you’re a forgery, that your smile is a mask and your composure an act, simply because they cannot accept the idea that people are supposed to be multidimensional. On and on they go, pinning their ignorance to you under the name of blame, seeing in you only that which they wish to see. Sometimes, you wish you were like them. I know you do. You shouldn’t. It might be lonely where you are, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing; lonely doesn’t mean secluded. There are others like you, with minds like diamonds. Others like you, who are only habitual in their tendency for change. (You will find someone who can make sense out of you, one day, you know. They’ll know you better than you yourself do – every single aspect of you, every single frantic facet and feeling. And when you do, the wait will be more than worth it. I promise you won’t die nor live alone.)

Cancer — 

 You poor, poor, poor thing. It’s been a thousand years since you’ve curled into yourself, hid your heart deep in the cradle of your ribs and let yourself sleep; then the time came for you to awaken, and you found the world unchanged – it was as if everything had stood still. Reality swept into you like saltwater into gaping wounds, and every fiber of your soul wept. fearful, you took the broken glass road still, walked it fully aware of what laid in waiting; like a bride the night she is wed to a stranger, you swallowed your terror and saw it through. Often, those ignorant make you out to be such a bumbling coward. You’re not. You just aren’t. (In fact, you’re one of the bravest people I know; it takes so much courage to let the world see you weep – and it takes even more of it to wipe your tears and keep moving forward. Above all, it takes immense courage to allow yourself to love even when you know it’ll hurt.)

Leo — 

 The size of your heart puts to shame both Jupiter and your own pride and ego; to this day, I am not sure if you would have been better off with one much smaller, but I know for sure the world would have been emptier by far. You see, your touch is one of gold; whomever you decide to invest your time and love into grows the size of Atlas, and so, without you as you are now there would have been much less in the world. That is your downfall, isn’t it? Always has been. The way you’ve always put others first, giving them all of you, never asking for anything to be given to you in return. You are a gardener, dearest, and people are your roses. (It breaks my heart that all your selfless effort was almost always repaid in hurt and sorrow; know that you are not to be blamed for any of it. You have done nothing wrong – sometimes, things simply fall apart. Don’t shut your heart. I’d hate to see your love rot and turn to hatred.)

Virgo — 

 You have endured well the contempt of others, my dear; you have taken every blow with open arms. They have called you frigid and prude and arrogant and everything in between, but you knew better. Tell me then: if you can endure so well the slander of others, if you don’t care what they make of you, why do you worry so? Why do you see only blemishes when you look at yourself in the mirror? Your hesitance to trust others stems in your fear that if you let them in they’ll see your ugliness, all the imagined imperfections you see in your reflection. You can’t trust others because you don’t trust yourself; and I wish so badly that you would have a little more faith in who you are, in your beauty. (Being unable to forgive, jealousy and lust do not make you terrible. Hate is human nature as much as love is; emotions, be they bad or good, are intrinsic to mankind. You are such a passionate being, despite your outward delicacy, and that, my dear, is simply stunning. Please try to love yourself.)

Libra — 

 Darling child, didn’t the gods tell you the mob sees dancers as something of the devil, especially when their preferred stage is the sharp edge of a sword? Few in this world love truth, and fewer still are fond of things like righteousness and justice. Your ability to remain indiscriminate in the face of contradictory realities and deny none of them is both a blessing and a curse. Your mind, I fear, is the Pandora fate has crafted specifically for you; a beautiful gift that hides such doom and sorrow. And you are aware of all of this – how you were meant for greater things, with your noble mind and your true heart, yet on you dance, fighting against the windmills of adversity. How brave you are. (Know that your effort will not go without reward. Know that you won’t be forever unloved, nor will you be forever misunderstood. There will be those whom, like you, have the makings of just men, and they will understand. Keep your eyes open and search the crowd; that is what you do best.)

Scorpio — 

 I look at you and my heart grows small; there is so much sadness in you, from the flower of your eyes to the slouching arch of your shoulders. You have been misjudged and falsely accused for so long: Whore, they said; monster, perverter, sickness of the soul – and all of it because you like sex, as if somehow they are the Virgin Mary reborn, the goddamn hypocrites. This, too, is something they have misunderstood; it is not sex that you crave or are interested in. It is intimacy: it is the vulnerability that comes with having your soul completely bared and lain before another; you crave love, in its’ purest of forms. (And I know they have convinced you that someone of your kind is not “worthy”; fuck that. Your love is priceless, and one day someone will call your battle scars a masterpiece. One day someone will love you as wholly as you deserve to be loved. They will love all of you.)

Sagittarius — 

 There is such wanderlust in you – you’ve made a home out of the long, long roads, walked the earth to its’ ends and bathed in the oceans of the horizon; the sky was your sole companion, its’ stars your map, the wind a spellsong to ward off the passing sadness and melancholia that threatened to dim the flame of your heart. Oh, my child; how very wonderful you are, a barefoot nomad forever in awe of the world. The feeble minded call you rootless; how wrong they are. Having a voyager heart does not make you afraid of commitment. It simply means your roots lie elsewhere, splat across the world. (Do not let their malice plant doubts into your mind’s garden; your gypsy heart is worth more than all their empty ones combined. Keep daring the world, sate your thirst for journeying; only exploration can ever lead to discovery, so let your feet and head both walk the world.)

Capricorn — 

 Good god, you’re so tired. Life has worn you down to the marrow of your bones, took everything from you until you were bare-handed; and yet you’re still here, standing before me, your spine hardened to titanium, a delicate thing that can withstand even the most apocalyptic of sieges; you still find it in you to smile, bitter-bloody-all-teeth and still happy, somehow. Know that I am proud of you; of your bravery, of your resilience, of how you’ve clung to life by the skin of your teeth. I am proud of you. (And know that you deserve happiness – you may feel like you don’t, you may feel that it is above the likes of you, but you deserve it; you have earned it. Know that one of these days, the sun will shine down on your lane, too.)

Aquarius — 

 There’s so much of you inside your skin I am often surprised it has yet to come apart at the seams; there’s so much of everything inside your skull I am left in awe of your bones – often I wonder, how are they strong enough to contain the exploding universe inside? My god, this world of ours has seven wonders and you are all of them. The fortitude of your bright mind ceaselessly surprises me; I know what to expect, and yet I am still thrown off by your ingenuity and your ability to remain rational in your abstract ways. Nobody but you is open enough to accept it all; nobody but you can see through the prism of all eyes and walk away with their sanity intact. (I know they call you “cold”, an ice queen of the Siberian tundra. Let them be. Those who cannot see your white-hot warmth are not worthy of your brilliance. You are the brightest star, my dear, someone accepting and embracing of it all. Do not settle for anyone that is blind to your light.)

Pisces — 

 And how terrible it must be for you, who lives always halfway, to be stuck in a world that demands certainties which you will never have to give. It is not to say you don’t want to be resolute – you simply cannot. Your world does not have truth, nor does it have falsity; all that your world has are colors, swirling, forever mingling anew like the clouds in the sky. One day you are overflowing with everything that blooms inside of you, and lilies are spilling out of your ribs; the next, you’re empty, and you can’t for the life of you find something that is all-encompassing enough to fill the growing abyss south of your sternum. (Kknow that it is okay. The most humane thing you can be is full of contradictions;  as maddening as it can be, each paradox gets you closer to the entity your peers call God. It was never the Devil that built his home on the crossroads, you know. Embrace your nature.)

— Poetry for the Signs: The “You’ve Done Well” Edition, by L. Schreiber.

Missed AU Opportunities

You know what profession-based AU we really need to see more of? CONTRACTOR AUs. Yes, I mean the contractors who work on your house. 

You’re probably side-eyeing this post right now, but if you are – it’s only because you haven’t thought of all the glorious possibilities. 

- “My landlord didn’t warn me that there was work being done in the kitchen, and now the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen is in my house tearing out a kitchen wall, and I’m in ratty sweats, and it looks like a bird nested in my hair.” 

- “I have to stay in my apartment while the landlord is having the bathroom redone because I have no money for a hotel, but it’s okay because the person working on it is so beautiful. Wait, I have nowhere to shower.”

- “I’m working on the most adorable house for the cutest person, but this is obviously a place for a couple, so I must just have not met the significant other yet.”

But most importantly, the possibilities for all the puns and double entendres: 

- “I don’t need a stud finder. I’ve already found you.” 

- “The pipe burst in my wall and I need this whole room redone now, I hope the contractor doesn’t screw me. Wait, that’s the contractor? Please screw me.” 

- “There’s something else in this apartment you can nail.” 

I’m waiting, friends. I’m waiting.