listen here. LISTEN. hERE. it’s just so good. (for anyone who wants to watch it back it starts at like :33 of the first undertale video.) okay first of all. the second phil first says viscosity dan immediately breaks off and turns to him with the crinkliest eyes and a lil wrinkled nose and it’s already aggressively cute and we are like a quarter of a second into this exchange. incredible. beautiful. to me it was such a significant thing that he doesn’t mock phil’s word choice to US in the way that he used to on dapg ALL THE FUCKING TIME, but instead he turns to PHIL and rather than mocking him he just does that cute confused face and kind of asks phil to clarify why doing a let’s play would involve viscosity at all.
CUTE!!!! and then there’s A JUMP CUT!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHY? it HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY! when we cut back, dan has completely dropped his on-camera voice and his body is pointed a little more inwards at phil. amazing. what happened in the lil bit that was cut out of this? we can ONLY GUESS. so then dan proceeds to ask in his much deeper/softer off-camera voice, “how can a let’s play have viscosity?” and honestly i am just left asking “how can such a dumb fucking question sound so soft and enticing wtf.” and then phil tries to explain it in his silly way, he’s saying it’s “deep and sticky” and dan just gives a TEENY TINY SMILE and then turns to share it with us and THIS IS HOW HE IS REACTING TO PHILS WEIRD BRAIN NOW it’s no longer MOCKING it’s SOFT AND FOND and he’s smiling at us to sort of tacitly communicate how adorable he finds phil’s mind and i want dEATH and then, as if this weren’t enough, his voice drops even further and gets all hoarse as he asks phil, “do you know what viscosity is?” and just turns that same fond smile towards him
and honestly if at this point you haven’t gone back to the video to watch this you really need to just for this part because holy shite man,,, that voice dan uses is Something and phil himself looks a lil shook and he gets all flustered and giggles
and dan giggles while watching phil giggle and then phil says “let’s keep going!!!!!!” rly promptly and phil’s whole reaction was so unwarranted based on the actual words they are saying which makes me feel like phil is just reacting to dan’s flirty voice and basically wow this whole scene is everything to me ok you need to rewatch and appreciate it fully i still wake up in cold sweats thinkin about it
Take your good intentions and put them to PROPER use:
If disabled voices try to tell you that your solution to protect disabled people from fakers will, in fact, harm us and our peers, LISTEN.
We don’t need you to be our heroes. We don’t need paternalistic allies. We need allies that LISTEN TO WHAT WE ACTUALLY SAY WE WANT/NEED.
If that means that on occasion some entitled lady-snob gets away with bringing her precious Fluffy everywhere by saying he’s a service dog, so be it. If that means, from time to time, some jackass day trader with an over-compensating car parks in disabled parking because he’ll “only be a minute,” so be it.
Are they human garbage?
Oh hell yes.
Does it piss me the fuck off?
YES, IT DOES.
But does that mean I want it to be harder for my disabled peers to acquire a service dog because supposed abled-do-gooders decided to outlaw self-trained dogs?
Does it mean I want abled people policing strangers who park in the disability parking so that my friends with invisible illness get harassed, accused of stealing placards, given dirty looks, or asked to divulge their medical history to prove they’re “disabled enough?”
AGAIN, FUCK NO.
Don’t punish us because some of your abled peers are utter shite. Don’t make life harder for us because you want to feel like a hero protecting those poor disabled people while ignoring what we actually tell you we need.
If you REALLY want to be an ally, then police YOURSELF.
Are you using the accessible toilet stall to change clothes, or because you’re in a hurry and don’t want to wait for a small stall to open up, or because you just like having more room? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.
Do you support organizations like Autism Speaks? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.
Do you insist on using “PC language” that is actually insulting and the disabled community repeatedly points out is problematic (i.e. “handi-capable,” person-first language, etc.)? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.
Do you use out right ableist language like the r-word or use mental illnesses as an insult (especially to insult people that more accurately should be labeled as jerks, entitled, violent, or so on)? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.
Do you go around supporting right-to-die without also supporting families that choose not to abort fetuses with genetic disorders or supporting disabled people who want to continue living their lives with what you think are “severe” disabilities? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.
Worry about your own shit before you go around making life difficult for us thinking you’re saving us from other abled people.
A few years ago, M Night Shyamalan directed a live action version of ATLA and he made everyone white except for the Fire Nation, which he made of Indian descent.
For obvious reasons, this is complete and utter bollocks.
Aside from the Water Tribes whose physicality and cultural influences are based primarily on Inuit and other Indigenous cultures, the physical appearances of the rest of the nations are very obviously East Asian, but white actors were hired for their parts.
As for the Fire Nation, I love Dev Patel and I love great representation, but I loathe this idea that Asian people are interchangeable with each other. If you look at the Fire Nation, its culture and the people in it, they are more influenced by Chinese, Japanese and Southeast Asian societies and peoples, not anyone of Indian descent.
I think Noah Ringer who played Aang said he had some Native American ancestry as well?? But even that’s not right because the Air Nomads are based on Tibetan Buddhist monks.
Asian people are not all the same! Each of our cultures deserves representation!
But what does M Night Shyamalan have to say about this?
“Anime is based on ambiguous facial features. It’s meant to be interpretive. It’s meant to be inclusive of all races, and you can see yourself in all these characters…This is a multicultural movie and I’m going to make it even more multicultural in my approach to its casting. There’s African-Americans in the movie…so it’s a source of pride for me. The irony that [protesters] would label this with anything but the greatest pride, that the movie poster has Noah and Dev on it and my name on it. I don’t know what else to do.”
DIVERSITY IS NOT THE ERASURE OF ONE MINORITY TO PROP UP ANOTHER MINORITY. IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.
And no, it’s not ambiguous! Avatar the Last Airbender is not ambiguous at all about what their characters should look like and what cultures they’re drawing influences from, therefore if you’re making a live action, you should be aware of this and be respectful of it. A lot of fans of the show, myself included, identified with these characters because it’s one of the first times they’ve seen themselves represented and then to erase that in the live action, it’s hurtful and once again continues the narrative that Asian people shouldn’t be seen or heard in Hollywood.
This is what the Water Tribes looked like on the show:
Now in the live action:
Earth Kingdom on the show:
Oh, wait, NONE! Because they decided to cut a crucial blind character from the movie.
Air Nomads on the show:
Fire Nation on the show:
It’s bullshit and M Night Shyamalan is a hack of a director. He made one good movie and the rest of his movies have been complete and utter shite. I have no love for him. I will forever be salty about this.
1. Can I tie your shoes? I don’t want you falling for anybody else.
2. Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you’ve stolen my heart.
3. Is your name wifi? Because I’m feeling a connection.
4. We should get some coffee because I’m liking you a latte.
5. Excuse me, I think you dropped something… my jaw.
6. This may be cheesy, but I think you’re grate.
7. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
8. Last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and I realized I don’t have yours.
9. Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
10. Are you a library book? Because I can’t stop checking you out.
11. You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.
12. Do you have a jersey? Because I need your name and number.
13. Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.
14. Would it be breaking the eighth commandment if I stole your heart?
15. Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
16. I like your last name. Can I have it?
17. Are you google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.
18. God was just showing off when He made you.
19. Are you a piece of carbon? Because I would love to date you.
20. I’m not sure what quidditch position you play, but you look like a keeper to me.
For a country that the rest of the world completely overlooks when it comes to cinematography, Russia has contributed surprisingly quite a few adaptations to the Sherlock Holmes franchise, much to ACD’s dismay. Since you guise like lists with links and I’m very conveniently blogging about all kinds of Russian SH exclusively, I thought hey, why not make a comprehensive guide to Sherlock Holmes in Russia.
Russians grasped the concept of the hot British detective back when the stories were still fresh and funky, so the hysteria had a pretty early start already. The every-man, the smartest boy in town, the Sasuke to 2010′s tumblr: Sherlock Golmes
As per the fantabulous tradition, Holmes in the early translations fell under the H=G train just like Garry Potter and sir Genry, but well, they recovered soon, although the early history still remembers this weird phenomenon of Sherlock Golmes (or Golmts) in pre-revolution Russia.
Contains: pre-revolution grammar, Golmts, Vhatson
Theater soon caught up with the obsession, which resulted in Boris Glagolin securing his place as the first Russian Holmes on stage
Which in return, gave birth to the first still existing content:
You’d think they would just adapt the canon like normal people do, but jesus christ, in every story Holmes, that very same dude with no social life and couch as his best friend, keeps going all the way to freaking Russia to search for rich people’s missing jewelry. I am not joking in the slightest right now, the read will be wild. Interestingly enough, there is a strong sense of revolution already lingering in those plays, granted it’s 1906 onwards, if you follow me on this adaptational adventure you’ll see that Russians are really influenced by the mood of the country when creating new Holmes content. But it here already: some British detective suddenly involved in Russian drama of diamonds and freedom.
Contains: Holmes’ wife, MARIANI, explosions, first femlock, jewelry kinks, MOTHER RUSSIA
After this there was quite a long silence with lots of theater adaptations passing by without much notice. One of those highlights must be Vasily Lanovoy, THIS freaking man:
saying that yes he probably did play Holmes at some point, but he forgot when and how. Fuckin fantastic, Lanovoy, thnx for the input.
This continued up to 1971 even, when a few plays were turned out to be so good they were honoured to get filmed for national television. This is how the earliest tv-adaptation has reached us, avocado millennials:
No subtitles and never will be while I remain a proud man with standards.
This play is interesting because it’s the forbidden content tumblr craves for: all three plays were put on a shelf after one actor who played Watson in the Hound escaped abroad, and were never shown since. Decades later the Hound was miraculously discovered intact, restored and made available once again. That’s the sole interesting thing about this adaptation.
It is what you expect it to be: a two and a half hours tedious exactest motherfucking adaptation ever, you don’t even need subtitles for this, you only need to whip out your book, because every single freaking line is 100% according to text, but in Russian. It is what it is, what can I say, although it still has its own weird things like Frankland missing completely.
Contains: Henry and Watson sharing a bed, Mortimer touching Holmes’ skull, 2h30min of peaceful sleep while it plays
Everything went quiet until 1979 when things just decided to explode all at once, but I’ll start with what I at least think came first. In the span of the same year, Hound ‘71 got shelved, a Christmas Holmes musical came out, and as the final kick into the grave - that very Soviet Holmes series.
I think this is the best adaptation on this pitiful planet because no other Holmes movie can inhale weed into your eyes right through the screen just as hard as this vid can. It’s fantastic how little it cares about canon and everything holy about Sherlock Holmes in general. Moreover, it’s a freaking Christmas musical shot for a country that doesn’t celebrate Christmas. It’s truly a gift for the mankind and has the lowest rating among all Russian SH adaptations because after finishing it, your eyes are so cloudy with weed you’re very likely to miss that deserved 10/10 with your trembling hands. Also, sneaky Igor Dmitriev somehow managed to star both in this shite, and the unholy Soviet series simultaneously as a villain and Inspector Gregson respectively. I have two sides indeed.
Contains: the least Holmes-looking Holmes you’ll ever see, off-key singing, the canon story with a twist, Shakespeare banter.
And here comes the blissful times of what is considered the best adaptation produced in Russia:
Subtitled poorly and uploaded in ever poorer quality by our beloved Lenfilm. Lenfilm: we hate the content we produce.
This series is distinct by how very warm, healthy and snuggly it is, as they wanted to tell a story about friendship and better people. It is pretty close to canon, but granted it’s five movies in two parts mostly (as the majority of Soviet television adaptations went), they do combine, twist and turn things a bit. If you’re looking for faithful canon with no toxic sociopathic bs, lots of fun, heart-clutching and incredible music - that’s the series you will go to. This series is the sole GIANT Holmes thing in Russia and its influence is as big as ever, which sure has its ups and downs.
If you want to continue your course along the *Russians influenced by their times* theme, do pay attention to how English people and their interactions are represented, and especially note the sudden shift in mood of the last two episodes that were made right when Perestroika hit. People having no idea what life beyond the curtain looked like making up a dignified fantasy vs confronting worrying change. It’s subtle, but it’s there, pretty interesting as well.
Contains: lots of hugs, dead dogs, killer jams, Mycroft under a table, sir Henry and Watson getting smashed
*it might be worth noting that the same director decided to re-release the series weirdly in 2000 as a show about ACD hating life, Holmes and everything around him. The show mixed heartwarming series with the new hate, was aired like twice in its lifetime and is more remembered for all the lawsuits more than anything. But I respect Alexey Petrenko way too much to keep quiet about it.
After that we suddenly dipped into animation, resulting in
A quick nonsensical story about Holmes and his best friend dog Tom. Yes. Has pretty killer electronic music and surprisingly famous actors on voicing for something this tiny.
Contains: a universe where Watson was never born, crocodile eating a banana, a dog having a mansion and Holmes still searching for pennies under his couch to afford a shitflat on 221Bitch Broke street.
After this new times hit big time, resulting in one of the first femlocks in the world:
Youtube blocked the youtube vid hard recently, so it’s resting on google docs, subs provided.
I personally very love this movie as again it’s very healthy and non-toxic, very warm, all around the place, and yes, Holmes and Watson are women. Consider this movie the Soviet series’ little sister as it’s fully acknowledging Livanov, imitates its camera tricks and uses the same score granted the same composer is involved once again. Actually, that composer worked on all three adaptations, aka this movie, the series and the carbuncle. Wild stuff.
The movie is obviously not that fantastic and is safely forgotten in Russia, but I love it dearly nonetheless, and love it even more for how healthy it shows relationships getting sorted.
Contains: best Lestrade ever, crossdressing, bubble games, reused locations.
That was the last Soviet contribution as the next adaptation wouldn’t come out until 2005. Rest in pieces USSR, you were the golden age of Russian movies.
The next two dip us back into animation once again and are technically Ukrainian, but anyways. It’s the
The short bases its characters on the Soviet series and slays them ruthlessly in the most hilarious fashion. Everyone is a fun idiot, everyone is a murder suspect, occasionally gay stomps in. Also, the short, save for the female roles, was voiced by one single guy. Tumblr will love the fact that this guy is the voice of Shrek in the Russian dub, so the cartoon was always in safe hands.
Contains: the origin of the gloryhole gif, tasty steak, 360p
Flash forward to 2013 and the same guys made this cartoon into a mini-series that we have also translated:
Six episodes add up to about 40min of overall watch time and follow a story with lots of canon and Soviet series references, more cool artstyle, music and jokes. Such a pity it’s so grossly overlooked as the cartoon is great fun and was made with love. Also, Shrek is back.
This series, in my opinion, is a peak adaptation on topic *what if everything written in canon stories is bs*: it rewrites all the characters and the narrative from scratch, toys brilliantly with canon, references and easter eggs most of the previous Russian adaptations and a few Western ones, it’s incredibly well thought out and rewatching it at least once is a must because the plot is so ace and required double checking to understand it fully. It contains incredible acting, very consistent character traits, the bestest Watson to date and very entertaining stories.
Also, concluding so far the *big Russian Mood™* arc, this series is blatantly, as confirmed by the director, about modern Russian social and political issues: bribery, racism, law meaning nothing, you name it. It’s a very good series and it deserves all the attention in the world.
Contains: british trump, bimbom bramsel, loser holmes, basil rathbone
And the last but not least:
this hilarious parody on classic, RDJ and BBC Holmes made by the parody show that knew it all too much. Don’t consider yourself a true Holmes fan if you’ve never seen it.
Contains: Lady Gaga, special subtitled gaze, “deduction”.
So here it is, the more or less comprehensive guide on all Russian Sherlock Holmes stuff I know, or at least consider important enough to mention. If you want to do some good old piracy, I always have the page ready with all the subs and best torrents.
It is indeed quite a few adaptations for a country so far away and wild, isn’t it.
You're the perfect mix of salty and logical and I need help writing about a Naruto fail close to your heart. How do you think a situation would go with someone directly confronting Hiruzen about smol Naruto's living situation? I'd like to have a character reach over and throttle him, but that's probably not the right way to deal with a military dictator. Would he fail to see the problem, or play the bigger picture card?
There’s a plot hole here that I think is basically impossible to reconcile and which is caused by Kishimoto’s poor planning.
Basically, from a meta story perspective, Naruto needs to be in the dark about his origins. So the story tries its “everyone in the village is forbidden to talk about Naruto actually having the Nine Tailed Fox sealed within him and also him being the Fourth’s son, and also we’re going to give Naruto his mother’s surname” The reason being “to protect Naruto from enemies of the village/his father.”
Okay so far as it goes. Yes, it’s impossible in reality to expect an entire city to be able to keep that kind of a secret, especially in a world where we’re shown that the villages actively spy on each other, but I might be willing to suspend disbelief for that.
The problem is that Kishimoto then decided to make Naruto’s mother the previous jinchuuriki and to make her clan, the Uzumaki, such a powerful and famous clan that the swirl symbol everywhere in Konoha was in their honour. This immediately makes the entire thing absurd and goes beyond “willingly suspend your disbelief” level for me, personally. In what possible universe could giving Naruto the surname Uzumaki hide him from enemies? In the universe Kishimoto gave him that surname–a universe where the surname Uzumaki didn’t mean anything much.
So you’ll need to be careful writing any scene touching on this issue because the second you draw the reader’s attention to it, everyone realizes how absurd the situation is and the stated reasoning behind Naruto’s growing up in ignorance falls to shreds. An idiot wouldn’t come up with that kind of plan, and Hiruzen is supposed to be this extremely smart guy? It just doesn’t work as anything except “the writer fucked up and decided he wanted the Uzumaki to be awesome more than he wanted continuity”.
Sooooo let’s agree to retcon “we kept your heritage a secret to hide you from enemies!!!!” Because that’s bullshit. Cool. Now what?
A more plausible reason for the facts we want to keep for meta reasons–Naruto doesn’t know who he is, what’s inside him, and why–is that Naruto’s background is being specifically held back from Naruto and the other children because the adults don’t know how a small child will handle that kind of information. It’s being kept from Naruto because he might freak out (in a really BIG way), and it’s being kept from his peers because kids might blurt that kind of thing out.
Under this scenario, Naruto’s surname is changed in case Naruto would draw the connection to the surname of the Fourth (whose face looks a lot like Naruto).
I know fandom likes to write “people were constantly beating Naruto up” type scenarios for Naruto’s childhood, and then lately SP has been coming out with the opposite, in those weird filler episodes where Naruto was buddies with everyone (fuck outta here with that shite), but what I see in the manga, and what honestly makes a lot of sense, is not that he was persecuted, just that he was shunned, that businesses locked their doors when they saw him coming and mothers pulled their kids off the playground and ran home.
Why do I say it makes a lot of sense? Well, when Kishimoto wrote the Chuunin Exams and everything with Gaara he hadn’t actually come up with the jinchuuriki concept yet, but we’ll pretend we’re dealing with a reality in which “jinchuuriki” is a known concept. At the same time as Naruto is alive, there is a jinchuuriki of his age in an allied village who keeps killing people. All the sordid details of his infancy and early childhood probably wouldn’t have filtered to the outside world, but “baby tailed beast holder keeps killing adult ninjas” absolutely would have.
In such a world, would you want to go near your village’s Sealed Evil in a Baby? We might like to think we would, and while somebody should have (more on that in a minute), the fear is pretty rational here, and especially not wanting your kid to play with this kid. But you’re forbidden from telling your kid why. So you just gotta say “don’t play with that kid because He’s Bad.”
Now, further thought on Naruto’s living situation. It’s pretty obviously the norm in Naruto society for orphans to live alone. Not only Naruto, but Iruka, Kakashi, and Sasuke are all shown as living alone while academy aged. So in one sense, Hiruzen isn’t giving Naruto any kind of especially cruel treatment here; it’s just that it’s a cruel society generally. But it’s consistent with “society that has child soldiers,” so I’d say this is decent worldbuilding, really.
Therefore it would be difficult to believably get someone entrenched in this society to call this out, you’d have to really work at it. Kakashi, who lived it, isn’t appalled by Naruto living alone; he’s appalled by Naruto not doing his chores. Iruka, who also lived it, doesn’t quite come to the point of fully realizing that this is wrong, but he does empathize with Naruto and acknowledge the pain of the living situation, even if he isn’t to the point of saying that Naruto shouldn’t be in that living situation.
Okay, so where could someone within this society believably call Hiruzen out and actually have the hit connect? I think it’s going to be two points:
1. Minato and Kushina specifically asked Hiruzen to care for Naruto. Hiruzen may think his “kindly hair ruffle when I see him around” etc act is enough to fulfill this promise, but I think he could be nailed on this point.
2. Hypocrisy of Konohamaru’s treatment vs. the other orphans. Ohhhhh boy is this one ripe for exploitation and if I was going to have a character call Hiruzen out, this is the bell I would ring. Why doesn’t Naruto have a private tutor? I’m gonna repeat that again and bold it, Why doesn’t Naruto have a private tutor? He’s a jinchuuriki, who are supposed to become weapons for their village–why aren’t they training their own weapon?!
Okay, I hope that helps, and please send me a link to your writing when you post it! :D
Cat mom! I wish to start learning how to properly do makeup but I'm nervous that I'll just make myself look silly. Can I have some encouragement? :c
this was my eye makeup when i started out and i thought i was SLICK and honestly? i got compliments back then as well because everyone’s on different levels and for some people this is shite but for others it’s like three steps ahead of what they’ve learned so far and HONESTLY? even if you do the worst makeup ever you can always just wash it off. just practice for ten minutes every night and have fun!
Anonymous said: Have seen your pic from Dett posing for Regis instagram. And now I have
to ask you! You know about this vampires aren’t to be seen in
photographes thing. In the modern world there are many people which run
around with their cameras, feeling they have to archive their whole
life. Isn’t that a problem for our beloved buddies? (I just imagine
Dettlaff is catch by a speed camera cause he was a bit too fast) But
maybe higher vampires are not included - who knows…
Anonymous said: speaking of your modern!au: can vampires use mobile phones? I mean
smartphones? they normally can’t use anything with a sensor, so a touch
pad might not work as well - and they wouldn’t show up on pictures
either: imagine regis taking a selfie with geralt and then he’s sad,
because it’s just geralt on the picture :-D (I’m in love with your blog
btw, keep up the great work!)
I’ve combined these two asks because they are kinda close to each other.
Starting with the first one, yeah I’ve heard the stereotype about vampires not showing up on photos, but on that modern!AU shit they can be photographed. Tho’ they get easily blurred if they don’t focus on being as still as possible.
Another rb blog that makes fun of cs well your ship is dead so ha at least cs is true love and killian and emma share a heart what do rb share?? Exactly.
Ahhhhh it’s been so long since I got hate, I’m overjoyed tbh! *cracks knuckles* Let’s do this.
- CS is also dead if that’s the terminology you want to use. But JMo has confirmed she is back for ONE episode and ONE episode ONLY. Emilie? Is coming back for an episode, but there is no ‘one episode only’ proviso behind this. Ergo, logic would dictate that if any ship were ‘dead’ it would prove to be CS.
- Hook and Emma do share a heart, right? Honestly I can’t remember if that worked or not (I got to the point where I started to skip Hook scenes because he pisses me off) but let’s see what Rumbelle share…
Actual true love.
True love that crosses realms (wish realm Rumple went to look for her).
A history that’s built on respect and love growing out of an unsure place. Not rape jokes and making out like the woman is a ‘goal.’
Respect and love for those around them - Belle looked out for Neal as Neal did her. Emma chose to let her parents stay cursed for ittle Killy.
I’m sure someone else who isn’t too busy cackling right now to think deeply can add to the list.
Look, CS is a bag of shite to me and the majority of fans act like entitled reprobates. Every fandom has them though and every ship does. Heck, there are some Rumbellers I see post and I just think ‘will you shut the fuck up’ but the CS based posts I reblogged that I expect spurred on your furious keyboard smash of poorly written English with grammar that would make even a child cringe are a prime example of the entitled behaviour a lot of that section of the Once fandom shows.
Plus, don’t you think this anon just furthers contributes to that image of childish, entitled brats?
So sit down, be humble, and gtfo my very far from Hook friendly blog.
Wine, Ron Weasley mused, was one of the best parts of getting older. He’d foolishly refused the stuff in his teens and most of his twenties, opting instead for the burn of Firewhiskey. It was almost a point of pride that he’d hit his thirties before he got tired of the intensity of the whole stuff, but as soon as Hermione had offered him a glass of the sweet wine she preferred, he knew he’d found a new drink of choice. It left a pleasant warmth in his stomach and a content smile on his face, and if he was being honest, it tasted much better than anything he’d had on a night out with Harry.
So on his thirty-fifth birthday, he’d asked only for a bottle of wine and an evening on the sofa with his wife. The only snag they’d hit was that Ginny was out of town for the Prophet, leaving Harry with their rambunctious brood, both Ron’s and Hermione’s parents had planned evenings out, and when they’d asked around for a babysitter at the Burrow the weekend before, Ron’s other siblings had pretended to have gone momentarily deaf whenever he’d start to utter his request.
Hermione had a hunch this had something to do with Rose’s newfound affinity for asking anyone near enough about the history of both the magical and muggle worlds, and correcting wrong answers by spewing more facts in one breath than Ron had picked up in the entirety of his History of Magic lessons at Hogwarts. Most of the time, it was lovely to have such a well-read, intelligent child, and Ron and Hermione did their best to encourage her. Still, the “correcting” part of the phase wasn’t exactly anyone’s favorite, and Hermione hadn’t been terribly pleased when Ron had pointed out that they’d likely never hear the end of it, since her know-it-all phase had never gone away.
I know you're neck deep in asks (it's because you're so awesome. Keep it up!), but I thought I'd put this here before I forget to ask. Since modern au has been a thing, I was wondering if Geralt would get into modern style too? Like would he have a man bun? What do you think?
Geralt would be that accidentally photogenic asshole that rocks whatever hairstyle he’d try, be it man bun or mullet. I like to picture him with that undercut from the game, I think it looks real nice on him.
Kylo was sitting at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. Hux could just see the black eye hidden by thick fingers and a rat’s nest of blood soaked hair.
“I’m not good enough for you.” He mumbled.
Hux glared at the top of his head. “What was that?”
“You deserve better, Hux, you deserve fucking… royalty, or something. Someone who can…”
“Coddle me? Put me on a fucking pedestal, like I’m some delicate, precious prize to be admired?”
“Fuck that noise, Kylo, I know princes, and I know kings, and they’re all fucking shite.” Hux sat down next to him and pressed a wet cloth into his hands. “I deserve what I want, and I want you. I want to be in the world, not in some boring palace. Now clean up, because right now it looks like you’re the delicate flower.”
“It doesn’t make sense. Look, it’s only got a bed in it.”
Character: Lydia Martin
You stared at the ‘painting’ in front of you, tilting your head to the side as if that would help you grasp the subject matter even slightly better. It didn’t. It was just…ridiculous, who even painted this? Errand Groal…well Groal was shite and needed to really improve on what he was getting at because it was confusing as all hell.
“It doesn’t make sense. Look, it’s only got a bed in it.” You pointed out to Lydia who was stood next to you, the canvas was quite literally with what looked like a poorly drawn bed on it. Nothing else, not even a background or a very good drawing of a bed…it was just a bed.
“It’s art, it’s not supposed to make sense, it’s supposed to make you feel things.” Well it wasn’t doing a very good job of either to be perfectly honest unless the intent was to have the viewer stare at it in utter confusion for an hour.
“Well all i’m feeling is a mixture of confusion and annoyance over the fact it’s literally a white canvas with a bed drawn on it. Not even a good bed, Lyd!” You could feel the admonishing stares from some of the older members of the gallery, but to be perfectly honest if they liked this piece of work they really needed to go to speck-savers and get new glasses because it was absolutely ridiculous…Groal was not a man you could get behind. At all. And date or not you didn’t quite have the heart to pretend you liked the painting for Lydia’s sake.
“Honestly, i’m never taking you to an art gallery again…” Good, maybe then you wouldn’t get confused by weird paintings and walk around in silence while admonishing elderly people looked at you as if you were a foreign species…which to them maybe you were?
“Just take me to a better one, with proper paintings!”
“You’re unbelievable.” Despite the way she shook her head, the smile and the way her voice softened told you that Lydia didn’t mind you being an idiot in an art gallery all that much…perhaps she even found it endearing?
I have inspiration, but no motivation to write. Like I seriously need to find this mythical beast and ride it through the night. But realistically that’s not gonna happen because my lazy ass doesn’t even care to look, so I’m stuck in a vicious circle of self-destruction.
Chibs’ imagine based on the song “Tell Her You Belong To Me”, by Beth Hart
[Hi guys. How are you doing?
Well, this is a little personal…I love this song, I can connect with the lyrics and it brings me to tears almost every time…Sorry, let’s get into business…
Enjoy Chibs… I mean, enjoy the imagine. Tell me your opinion. THANKS for reading it! You are amazing!]
Tig Trager Warns You, This Imagine Contains: smut
You were at the clubhouse with Gemma, Lyla and
some crow eaters letting everything ready for a party to welcome Filip back. He
was finally getting out of the hospital after weeks recovering from an
explosion at TM. You were supposed to be there and bring him home, but
Fiona was there too. She was his wife, but she had nothing to do
there. They had been apart for so long that their relationship had just died. He was
still married to her only to protect Fiona from Jimmy, his enemy. You could
handle this situation, but her presence there was too much. She appeared to
check on him, surprising everyone.
“Tell her to go”, you begged him at the
“I can’t do that”, he said. You just nodded and
went home, staying there until now. He knew you were pissed off and had sent messages
to your phone, through Juice, Jax and even Gemma. You ignored all of them. You
knew you were being stubborn, but you needed his word and Fiona gone.
Tell her you’re mine
That you have been blind
Tell her it’s over
And you belong to me
Tell me to come
And like hell I will run
Back into your arms
Cause you belong to me
were still on in Gemma’s office when you got back at the TM. The sound of your
heels echoed on the floor as you made your way to meet the Queen. You were
ready to open the door when you heard a familiar voice with a thick accent.
complicated than that mom”, Filip said, “Jimmy is in town”.
that mean Chibs?”, Gemma asked.
“It means she
is not going, not now”, he said.
It was enough;
you had heard all you needed. Fiona wasn’t going and with Jimmy in town Filip would
be bound to protect her. He would never be completely yours, she still had a
strong hold on him and you were just another girlfriend, a pussy to keep him
busy. You entered the clubhouse and looked around.
“She is not
here”, you heard. Tig was next to you, whispering in your ear, “She wouldn’t dare,
with so many cats protecting their turf”.
comparison Tiggy”, you laughed, walking with him to the bar.
smiled and sat next to you, “He is missing you, you know”.
your eyes at him and ordered a beer. A few seconds later Filip and Gemma walked
in, everybody got up and cheered. The crowd hid you in your corner.
gonna hug him?”, Tig looked over his shoulder to you.
“No”, you said
and turned to the bar again. He shrugged and sat back, ordering shots to both.
He started to talk nonsenses with Chuck just to distract you and soon you were
really into the conversation, really having fun.
“Can I talk to
my girl Tiggy?”, you heard minutes later. You didn’t bother to turn, you knew
who was there.
said and left. Chuck did the same and you had no choice but look at Filip, now
in Tig’s place.
back”, you said in a cold tone.
lass”, he sadly smiled, “Can we talk?”
You looked at
him for a few seconds. You bit your lip and hid a satisfied smiled when you saw
him swallow. That gesture always had turned him on.
“Sure”, you sarcastically said and got up. You saw Gemma’s eyes following you two in your
way to the dorms. You opened the door and entered, turning around to face him, “What do you wanna talk about?”
“Don’t be a
smart ass darling”, he walked towards you, “I’m not in the mood right
“I’m not Chibs”,
lass”, he reached for your arm, his grip tight around it, “Filip”.
“Let me go”,
you hissed at him. He was angry. He hated to hear his nickname from your lips.
He liked you to call him only by his name, “Filip”.
you”, he whispered and leaned for a kiss.
“No”, you pushed him away, escaping from his arms, “You don’t have the right to hold me
and kiss me anymore”.
“What are you
talking about love?”, he narrowed his eyes.
“Don’t call me
love”, you barked, “I know everything. She is staying. Fiona is staying”.
cursed and rubbed his beard.
“I heard you
talking to Gemma”, you looked up, blinking, trying not to cry, “I… I’ve
been in that house, alone, all this time Filip. I was waiting for you to call,
to tell me she was going… It was too much for me. Sorry, I couldn’t handle”
“It’s not like
that lass”, he begged, “Let me explain”.
what?”, you took a step towards him, “Did I mishear it? Because it is the only
way… It’s the only way for you to have me back Filip. Tell me I’m wrong, tell
me she is leaving. Take me home and prove it I’m the only one”.
If you wanna hold me
If you wanna know me again
If you wanna love me
Then take me home
I’ve been at the bottom
The deep end of the ocean
Barely surviving by the dark side of her street
Tell her you belong to me
He stayed in
silence for a second and you took it as your cue to leave. You were opening the
door when he hold your arm again.
“I’m going to
prove you, love”, he spun you around just to push you against the door.
His lips claimed yours, kissing hard enough to hurt.
He lifted you,
wrapping your legs around his hips. Your fingers tangled in his hair, making
Filip groan in response. You were kissing him back like your life depend on it.
You had missed him so much. Your hands grabbed his shirt, popping the bottoms
open and his lips moved to your neck.
whispered his name. Holding you, he walked towards the bed. Gently he put you
on the top of it and stop, looking at you.
“You are the
only one lass”, he took off your heels and throwing them on the floor. You got
up to take off your shirt and bra. Filip tugged your jeans and panties down
your legs and opened them for him, “You are my love, don’t you know that?”
were inside you, his thumb rubbing, pressing your clit and his mouth was over
your breast, sucking it. You laid on the bed, your back arching with the
pleasure. His teeth grazed a nipple almost making you cry with the sweet pain.
Filip”, you begged, “I need you”.
He ignored and
kept torturing you until you climax in his arms. You closed your eyes and
heard him took his clothes off. He joined you in the bed and you felt butterfly
kisses on your cheeks, nose and mouth.
“Look at me
love”, Filip whispered. You opened your y/e/c eyes to meet his and found them
full of love and desire for you. He slowly entered you, “Did you miss me?”
He thrust hard
inside you, making difficult for you to think and talk. He repeated the
question and thrust deeper and harder. How were you supposed to answer with him
he hissed and thrusted again, “Did you miss me?”
cried out, “I missed you Filip! I missed you!”
but didn’t slowed down. Your eyes rolled back on your head and your nails dug
on his back, definitely leaving bloody marks. You were close to another
orgasm, tightening around him.
“Filip”, you whined, “Please… Oh God!”
“You are mine
lass. Never forget that”, he groaned, “Say it”.
“Oh yes!”, he
definitely was on a mission that night, never slowing down and assuring his
power over you, “I’m yours Filip, only yours”.
You found your
release together; Filip rested his body over yours, leaving kisses on your
skin. You smiled and patted his shoulder; he laid next to you on the bed.
looked at the wounds on his back. They were little red marks made by your
“I’m not”, he turned to look at you. “These are your marks, telling that I’m yours”.
you couldn’t resist, you let it escape from you lips before you knew what you
were saying. You bit you lip and looked down to your legs.
“Yes”, he hold
your chin, making you look at him. You couldn’t escape from his eyes, “I talked
to Fiona, she is staying away from us. I have a plan for Jimmy and after that I
will divorce her, but I need something from you lass”.
asked, still processing his words.
he said, “You word that you will marry me then”.
Your hand covered
your lips and you could fell the tears in your eyes. You nodded, crying.
“Say it love”,
he smiled, “I need to hear you say. Say you will be mine.”
“Yes Filip, I
will marry you”, you leaned to kiss him and whispered on his lips, “I will
be yours, my love, I belong to you”.