because to be honest with you

I’ll be honest with you. It’s not pretty. There are going to be times when you’ll just start crying without knowing why. Your parents might be confused or even sad because they can’t understand the things that you’re feeling and it will break your heart and theirs. Teachers will be mad at you for not going to class or forgetting to do your homework again and they’ll yell at you in the hallway and you’ll just stand there and take it, hating yourself for not being able to do better. There are going to be days that you’ll just want to quit, to not get better, because the darkness that surrounds you is so familiar. You tell yourself that you know the demons so well, you’re so acquainted with the night, that the light would seem unnatural. But you’ll keep going. You’ll be okay.
—  an excerpt from a book I’ll never write #258
Reminder to please delete any Voltron leaks

Whether it’s a reblog, a repost, a reaction, even if you’re just saying something like “for real though I am living because of those Voltron leaks” PLEASE PLEASE just erase any evidence of it ever having happened

This is so serious. The show could be cancelled. Studio Mir is legally involved with dreamworlds now - they might stop production, people could lose jobs, the studio might have this event permanently marring their chances for anything in the future.

It was an honest mistake on behalf of the poster but they’re doing everything they can to reverse their actions. Please make some effort on your part as well.

This is serious.

Time to get this post out before I die hyperventilating into my “Raven Reyes” paper bag because I honestly don’t know how to deal with her anymore, but here we go. You know that moment when Raven breaks down in front of her friends and how Bellamy then calmly speaks to her to build her up again?

I didn’t know how much I needed that type of scene until I saw it to be honest - I was fully unprepared let me tell yall lmao - but now that I’ve seen it and have witnessed in which context it unfolded itself it’s honestly become one of my favorite moments in the episode, because Raven gains back her strength through the presence of all her friends in that one minute of total weakness.

Like, the writers really do love to rough it up for our characters during very critical situations, but in this particular case it’s very touching because it’s seriously not a moment created for the kicks, but the kind of moment that wants to make room for “optimism” that brings this wild set of characters even closer.

And I love how we dial down through the stress there, especially when focusing on Raven, because her breaking point is the catalyst for the unity. I absolutely could go on and on about how significant that short conversation between Bellamy and Raven is for me alone, as he inspire her the same way he inspires Clarke or the others, but I am even more affected by the fact that Raven truly isn’t able to hide herself anymore, but, as I’ve said above, works herself out of her own insecurities with the help of her friends and gains back her strength.

I mean, just look at this moment when she gradually starts to snap while standing in the middle with everyone surrounding her, watching her: 

Or how she ends up so bound and buried deep inside her own fears that all she feels she can do is sit down and hate the situation she finds herself in:

It hurts and GOD I love it here, because Raven’s feelings carry the kind of realism that many can relate to, she hates failing and she hates not being able to pull things off so she puts distance between her and the issue by practically giving up. But the point of this scene as a whole is not that Raven isn’t smart enough - as she states - because she got rid of ALIE’s code in her brain. We are actually past that already. What this scene communicates on a fundamental level is that Raven comes to realize that she is not alone in this.

In fact, all of her friends are by her side:

The “We need you” line is so important for Raven (and me obviously), because it creates a very dramatic call-back to that one time when she wanted to leave camp in season one. You know that time when Finn - the boy she loved and pretty much considered her only family - couldn’t even see why she was doing certain things (like working on the bullets) and how useless she felt because of that reaction she got from him - essentially tried to shut herself completely off from everyone around her, because they, as she believed, didn’t *need* her. Bellamy though, our heart’s guy, is the one who reminds her that they do need her with intense honesty, twice - back in season one after her confrontation with Finn and now in 4x13 when she believes she is not enough.

Being faced with the full array of cards against you is one thing, Raven has been through that ever since she landed on the ground, especially thanks to Finn and how their relationship changed on earth, but actually coming to consciously develop a sense of “team culture” through emotional connection with her friends is something else for her since Raven used to have only one person to turn to and that person failed her back then. Bellamy does what Sinclair used to do. He doesn’t simply apply to Raven’s ego, instead the writer’s manage to open up a path to her heart through faith, love and understanding.

And that pushes her forward. That love she receives from Clarke, from Bellamy, hell even Murphy (4x09), that is the game changer for her in this moment. Raven loving herself and the things she’s capable of doing is otherworldly, but expanding that love and stretching it out over this little group of messy people - that’s what she really wants, not just for herself but for everyone in this lab:

So Raven goes for it. Through the presence of her friends she not only learns as much about having people to rely on and consider a family as she can, and resolves to continue operating in a way that not only shakes everyone free - which essentially creates this sense of teamwork because there is unwavering trust radiating from every important team player here and if ALIE, a computer, can do it, so can they - but it also makes her a leader in her own right.

She’s prepared to face these obstacles with them just in time, as she’s confronted with a more mature set of challenges with her friends - the emotional progression - and inspire everyone in the room to get back to work.

And it’s beautiful. In season one she came down for a single person, now in season four she goes up and back to space with and for all of her friends.

She’s more than just an awesome person. She’s a growing, dynamically self-improving one, someone who is able to establish these deep connections with all of these people, who can navigate and bring in optimism as well as pragmatism, who is still in the process of learning, and will only get better at doing what she does - not just by herself, but with her friends, her family.

mmeyers915  asked:

what about a oneshot where reader is in some kind of trouble (idk what but maybe not the ministry??? idk im stupid) and obliviates newt of all memories of them and he asks what shes doing and she tells him to close his eyes and ANGST (my feelings are going to regret this)

Newt Scamander X Reader – Missing You

A/N – I’ll be honest, this was partially inspired by Lyra’s role in Supergirl. @mmeyers915

Warnings – None.

Rating – T


Originally posted by ultrailoveharrystylesblog

You were forgetting something, there was no doubt about it but what? What could possibly be left? As chaotic and cluttered as Newt’s case was, it was only small, gathering all of your items should have been easy. You sighed impatiently, trying to think of the last item before Newt got back. Perhaps the reason you couldn’t think of it was because you didn’t actually want to leave; you’d follow your goofy love to the ends of the Earth if it was possible. This was most likely your subconscious trying to stop you from leaving; if it was, it wasn’t making things any easier. You already hurt enough knowing what you had to do. Carrying your plan out was going to be like losing a piece of yourself. No. It was worse. You’d be losing him.


It was no use, whether you were forgetting something or not, you had to leave. You grabbed your bag, heading to the ladder out of the case, paling upon the sound of Newt’s all too familiar footsteps. Newt stopped at the bottom of the stairs, his eager grin turning into a look of utter betrayal and horror as he tried to speak, looking at your packed bag.

“(Y/N)” he breathed, unashamed tears forming. “I don’t understand. Just tell me what I did wrong and I’ll fix it. I- I can become anything for you. A-A-Am I too shy? Do I spend too much time with my creatures b-b-because-”

You embraced Newt, desperate to make him stop before you found a reason to stay; leaving was already too hard as it was, hearing how much he loved you and was willing to do for you made it a thousand times worse.

“Newt, don’t worry, this isn’t about you, you- you’re perfect just as you are, sweetheart.”

Hearing your calm tone soothed Newt slightly. He became less tense as he waited for some reasonable or even unreasonable excuse as to why you were taking all your things away. It was probably something silly such as a change of fashion, Feng-shui, or, Merlin forbid, creature urine; some smells just seeped into things and couldn’t be fixed as Newt had learned the hard way.

“Then what- What’s going on?” He asked patiently.

You exhaled sickly, trying to think of where to start. “Okay, sit down, this is going to take some explaining.”

You sat on the small cot Newt sometimes used when alone, patting it for him to join you. Warily, he did, eyeing you the way he did a new, mysterious creature; not with excitement but caution.

“To explain… I have to start with a story about something bad a person did.” You gulped, leaving out the part where the person was you, it would become obvious soon enough but you didn’t want to remember the awful things you’d done just yet. “Before I start this, I have to ask you not to interrupt, okay?”

New nodded hesitantly.

“Alright, thank you. Right, well, um- There was this person, and (s)he worked for some wizards who were into collecting rarities, no matter what kind of illegal or disreputable things they had to do to get what they wanted. Now, this person I mentioned earlier… (s)he had a friend who was badly in debt to them and to help them out, (s)he offered to do whatever it took to pay off this friend’s debt. The guys in charge, they made the person steal a lot of stuff, art mostly and no matter what it was (s)he’d mark whoever owned the item originally, get to know them, sometimes date them, and eventually, steal the item in question. There were never any feelings involved because business should never mix with pleasure, not the romantic kind anyway.

Anyway, the guys on top heard a rumour. It was about some crazy guy who’d come across a Thunderbird.”

Pained realisation showed on Newt’s face, he shook his head. “(Y/N), why- Why are you telling me this?”

“I’m not done.” You blinked back tears. “The person stalked the mark for a week before deciding he’d be an easy job, a month at most but then…Then…” You snivelled, unable to recompose yourself for another minute or so. “(S)he fell for him. He was no longer a mark but someone (s)he w-wanted to m-marry and be with forever. The longer (s)he stayed became more d-dangerous though because the g-guys at the top f-figured out what had happened and they- they threatened to kill the mark unless (s)he could pay off her debt with the Thunderbird.”

“(Y/N), no, you… you wouldn’t.”

You nodded, wiping your face. “I couldn’t.” You sniffed. “I promised I’d find something even more valuable but here’s the thing Newt. The only thing I could find is in the ministry and I- I can’t let you get involved in this. When I do this, you can’t even know me. Do you understand?”

“No. We uh,” he grabbed your hands tightly, “We’ll find a way, together. There has to be some way to do this, right?”

You let out a weak, sad laugh. “Newt Scamander, I was afraid you’d say that.” You pecked his cheek, knowing that if it was his lips, you wouldn’t have the strength to do what you needed to do.

After a deep breath, you pulled your hands back, drawing your wand out from your cloak. You aimed it at Newt, who stared at you helplessly, his hurt expression cutting you like a knife.

“Obliviate.” You whispered, watching his eyes roll expressionlessly into his head. You got up, grabbing your bag and making a hasty retreat from the case into the hotel room outside.

Newt wouldn’t remember anything about you but you would remember every shared moment, every kiss, every touch, every lingering word or smell; that would be your cross to bear.


Newt rubbed his eyes tiredly, looking around his small shed. It was odd really, he couldn’t remember why he was there, or any of the previous day.

“I’ve been working too hard.” He murmured, resting his head on the pillow, while trying to recall the day’s events; it must have been a dissatisfying day at the very least because he couldn’t shake the hollow feeling that something was missing.

He stretched out, his hand encountered something sharp. Absentmindedly, he grasped it, frowning when he found it to be a necklace with a single Hungarian Horntail scale on it. Although Newt had come to terms with the fact that he’d always be alone because of his strange, nomadic lifestyle, he found himself disturbed by the necklace. It was in his most boyish daydreams that, should he meet somebody he truly loved, he’d make them a necklace just like this, yet he knew he’d never made it; he couldn’t have for there was nobody to wear it.

He ran his free hand through his hair, turning the necklace over in his hands before gently placing it in his pocket. “A mystery for another day.” He thought, thinking of the rest he needed now.

Let’s clarify something

Okay it has come to my attention that one of my best friends, @ania-da-peasant, has been treated like crap because of false rumors, and I just want to clarify what is true and what isn’t. Because let’s be honest, I know her better than any of you, except for Clive probably, but that’s reasonable.

So apparently, Ania is mainly known for her quote “forcing self ships on fans and friends” and jessyrus would be an example.

Now THIS is FALSE. The shipping started because we both shipped each other and loved to tease each other. Jessyrus was a thing before she was super popular like she is now. She’s just the person that loves to tease and she doesn’t want ANY of her friends feel violated or hurt in ANY WAY. She truly loves and cares for her friends and loved ones and she now feels like shit because of stupid rumors that YOU GUYS STARTED. If you won’t accept this as a FACT, then you are NOT a fan of mine and you need to learn to grow up.

Thank you.

like honest to god… stop labeling ships involving couples that bicker at each other as abusive, because that it NOT what abuse means.  

and stop using the word pedophilia to describe a relationship between TWO ADULTS. 

basically JUST STOP using these words lightly because it’s fucking offensive to have our own experiences with harassment and abuse compared to your shitty notion of the world just bc tumblr told you that fights/disagreements are the definition of an abusive relationship. step out of your bedroom & look at real life

semi-automaticdemons  asked:

How do I explain my disorders to my friends? They don't really understand, but I want them to. They think I'm faking my disorders, because I do have quite a lot of them. How do I get them to understand depression, BPD, anorexia l, etc;? Thanks ❤️

Being open and honest about your experiences is an important step to educating others about your disorders—which seems like something you’re already doing. You can also point them to research about those specific disorders that can help them come to terms with the fact that these are real illnesses, and that recovery is real. – Patrick

YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME PT. 2 [DRACO MALFOY / JULIAN ALBERT]

request: “after that first one i need more draco/julian 😩😩 maybe they didn’t obliviate team flash after that whole reunion and they stayed in central city and the golden trio comes to visit for christmas so all of team flash walks in on them using magic to make the west house more festive and they’re all mesmerized and it’s just a wonderful christmas with the wiz gang back together again?? thanks so much again for the other one and tbh your account is a blessing to this website omfgggg <3” — by @fuckkoffcourtney

a/n: that must be the biggest compliment i have ever received ever! thank you so so much for those kind words 💖 and to be honest, i live for this crossover because the flash and harry potter are two of my main fandoms 😂 (p.s. this is going to be long af again and changed it up a little bit again too)

p.s. albus severus, lily luna, and hugo are not born yet in this imagine

PART 1

Masterlist 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How do you feel about how user ex//tilia is handling being basically the only person who still has the leaks up?

if i’m being honest they are 100% right taking down the leaks do literally nothing i won’t lie i saved a few of them because hell i’m only human :’) the damage is already done and taking down photo’s doesn’t take away the fact that thousands of people already saw them and will spread them around privately

also now that i’m more chilled about the situation and have more of a level head and know that this isn’t as severe as we thought i really don’t care?? like if they want to keep up the leaks that’s not my business but i will say keeping them up when studio mir specifically asked us to take them down is quite rude but at the same time save your breath y’know some people won’t budge and also like don’t attack anyone either like at the end of the day i saw some nasty anons when it was not needed like the photos were leaked and they do have every right to share them now, regardless of anything because at this point it’s no longer confidential and everyone who is part of the studio and dreamworks know thats and it happens,,, 

hackers literally leaks content all the time to the public so people saying that studio mir will get nothing more than a heavy warning and gag order are probably right like dreamworks is on a contract for 8 seasons with netflix and even with this happening it would be easier to give a warning than to find a whole new company completely

overall yeah kinda being rude to keep them up but at the same time they are 100% right it wouldn’t change anything and they definitely don’t deserve hate

anonymous asked:

Hey Jenna! Hope your day - night - specified time of day - is going fanfreakingtastic. How are you? If you have a moment, I was hoping to have your advice on something. Your vlogs are so helpful and inspiring (and humorous)! What do you think makes a good vlog? Do you have any organizational methods that you stick to for making them? There are a few writer vlogs already out there, and I want to start, but I'm worried about redundancy. Do you think there's a way to avoid this? Thank you ♡♡♡

I’m wonderful, thanks for asking :) Okay, I’m going to be REALLY honest with this advice, only because I’ve been doing this for a while and I’ve seen a lot of shit, and I wouldn’t be doing you any favors if I sugarcoated the whole deal. So here we go.

1) Be authentic. No one likes a phony. It ruins the appeal. People come to YouTube because the environment is supposed to be real and raw. They want to see who you really are. Give it to them.

2) Be confident. It’s awkward to be on YouTube. We get that. But if you are not confident in what you have to say, then you shouldn’t be talking about it in the first place. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be vulnerable or poke fun at yourself. I’m saying no one wants to watch a mouse on camera. If you don’t actually buy what you’re selling, viewers will be able to tell.

3) Be concise. If you can’t explain the topic quickly and simply, then you don’t know it well enough. People come to YouTube because they want the goods and they want it fast. If your video is over 10 minutes long, it’s probably too long. So many viewers are going to nope on outta there without even giving it a chance.

4) Be consistent. All vloggers need to miss a week at some point in time. But there are lots of vloggers who miss practically every other week, then wonder why their audience isn’t growing. If you’re not consistent, people are gonna forget about you or grow tired of your unreliability. If you have to apologize at the start of every vlog, stop. 

5) Be accountable. This is especially relevant if you decide to give writing advice specifically, which I honestly don’t recommend for most vloggers. If you pose yourself as a mentor or expert in any field, you better be prepared for your audience to hold you accountable. That means if you give writing advice, best believe readers are going to hold your writing to a higher expectation. They will judge you harsher than they would otherwise. And can you blame them? That’s their prerogative. But a surprising number of vloggers get into the writing advice gig, then are shocked when this happens. But… but I’m still learning… Except you’re out there giving advice telling the whole world you know what you’re talking about. Helleeerrrrrr?

If you’re not prepared to be held accountable, that’s completely fine. You can still get into vlogging. Just don’t give writing advice. Talk about something else. Detail your writing journey. Review books. But always be mindful of the fact that YouTube is a vulnerable medium, and you have to be okay with that.

anonymous asked:

I really appreciate you being so honest about your quarantine situation. It's definitely very reassuring to see from a breeder when I know of some dog and reptile breeders that can be very shady/dishonest about disease and hereditary issues. It honestly is great to see transparency like I'm used to with chicken breeders.

Thank you.

It’s honestly sad that you even had to say that, though. Keeping the public informed of a contageous disease should just be routine proceedure during quarantine.

It makes me angry when people go all hush-hush because hiding that sort of thing is dangerous as fuck!

Sure, Salmonella doesn’t bother pidge too much, but it’s zoonotic. (So are both the worm species we’ve been treating for)

What if some one that had Doves brought home a pidge with a subclinical case?

Or even worse what if they had, small children, elderly, or immune surpressed relatives or room mates?

My job doesn’t end with a sale or adoption, and I don’t know how any one who would knowingly endanger the pets and potentially FAMILY of their clientel could sleep at night!

Who gives a fuck about reputation and sales, Keeping others’ pets and family safe is of the utmost importance!

Salmonella slipped my quarantine and broke out in the Aviary due to a fuck up on my part.

It’s bad enough that I lost birds to it, but that beats the hell out of letting it spread to sicken more birds or possibly people elsewhere.

My God, guys, the questions my inspector asked me when I announced Quarantine scared the life out of me!

“Have any new birds come in?”
“Have any birds been sold?”
“Has any one brought their birds to interact with yours?” (This is NEVER a thing I do!)
“Have visitors been allowed to handle your birds?”
“Have any of your birds been taken out in public, aside from vet visits?”

What?! NO!!! Why… Do the other people you inspect not know what a fucking quarantine is?!

It’s really reassurring to know that Chicken folks are generally transparent about that.

Pigeon folks usually make it known after the fact, if at all, which is why I’m SO twitchy about new pigeons. >v

anonymous asked:

Imagine where Monty is being very protective at a party

Only at a party? Monty is protective af 24/7. But okay, so, in a party setting.

His arm would be around his s/o’s shoulders pretty much the entire time. You know he’s mean mugging anyone he thinks has any bad intentions toward his s/o. He actually prefers they hang out alone somewhere, not even to fool around, but just to get away from everyone and their judgement (because people are nothing if not judgmental about everything, teenagers especially, let’s be honest). Nuzzling of the neck not only because he knows it gets the best of his s/o but so that he can subtly “claim his territory.” (Although I would hope Monty would eventually grow out of the whole “claiming his s/o as his territory” phase because that’s not healthy either, but he’s still a teen boy who has anger and jealousy issues - not an excuse, just a reasoning.) If they were ever separated and someone started harassing his s/o in any way, you know they’d end up pressed against a wall with Monty’s fists balled in the front of their shirt.

anonymous asked:

What would Junkrat, Roadhog, 76 & Hanzo do if they knew their s/o was an isomniac? Well I am & it sucks. Anyways, thanks & love your blog 💖

Thank you <3 Also, I’ve never written insomnia before so if I get something wrong, tell me and I’ll fix it. This is written as a headcanon, if you wanted actual writings, again: tell me

Keep reading

I’m posting about these leaked photo take downs because it is extremely serious and needs to be taken into action for this could lead to Voltron season 3 being delayed or the production will stop entirely. Please, please for the love of all that is good, remove the photo. If you have it reblogged or have any fanart of it, delete it. Any sort of reasoning does not matter. Remove it. Remove anything you have of it. No questions asked, nothing. Remove it. If you gripe about it, then get the fuck out of the fandom cause you obviously want Voltron to stop if you love it so much. Remove it.

anonymous asked:

Apparently Lili's mom has never met Cole, though. Thoughts? Maybe she's just busy and working. I'll be honest, and I know you also have a daughter, so I would love to hear your thoughts on this...your child is Lili, who because of her role, has to make-out with and kiss this pretty hot, well-known actor - would you be worried. Would you think he would take advantage of her? Alternatively, he probably has no shortage of women chasing after him AND he also has to be careful about what he does

Ehhh…..Lili’s an adult. Apparently Mrs. Reinhart didn’t object, but Lili’s dad was less than thrilled.

Meanwhile, yes—–you have both of them busy (Cole has two careers, rn) on the opposite coasts from their families and with their own lives and respective families. I’m sure they’ll meet up at some point.

anonymous asked:

Would you be okay sharing how you make money from your art now, and how you got there? You seem so happy in that post you made a while back, and in your tags sometimes!

hiya nonny <3

sorry for the late reply, i knew i wanted to take some time to answer this properly and i had to wait until now ;;;;;;;;;;

i hope you’re still around to read it ;;;;;

i’m gonna put this under a read more because i ended up rambling and wrote an entire essay (and it’s probably way too honest but that’s the only way i know how to talk to people and maybe someone can get something out of this lolol)

Keep reading

First Love -4- Suga AU

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

First Love - Suga AU

Parts; Masterlist, One, two, three, four

Pairing; Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre; Romance, Angst, smut

Word count; 3.477

Synopsis; Meeting the genius of the music class was something you looked forward to, that is until he opened his mouth but even though he treated you like crap, you couldn’t help but feel attracted to him when he was playing the piano, how could you fight against feelings like this and was it something you wanted to fight against in the first place.



He froze but didn’t turn around. He waited for you to say something but to be honest you were feeling shocked about this because why was he here? Was he sick? And if he was sick what did he have?

When he realized that you weren’t going to say something he bailed, you had never seen someone run that fast. You did a step In yoongi’s direction but stopped when you felt a hand on your shoulder. “Do you know Suga?” You nodded your head absentminded. “Where do you know him from?”

“Huh, sorry what did you say?”

“Are you okay Noona?”

“I’m fine what did you ask?”

“Where do you know him from?”

“School, he is my sunbae and we’re friends at least I think we are.”

“Friends? But why didn’t you know that he was here?”

“Good question.” you ruffled through his hair and walked him back to his room but there was no way you would leave this place until you had spoken to Yoongi or maybe there was another way to lure him out of his room because you did see him go through a door and if you were correct it was a door you couldn’t pass.

“Noona, will you play me something before you leave.” Jin Soo asked and you just nodded and as you walked back to the piano, Jin Soo actually took a seat next to you, which he had always done when we were younger. “Do you have a request?”

“I am watching Disney movies right now, can you play those songs?” you smiled at him because you just realized that he was still a lot younger and you cracked your fingers and started with wish upon a star and it immediately got everyone’s attention and the way everyone fell silent, made you a bit shy but you continued and you couldn’t help but smile when you saw that even the staff was watching. You switched between songs and without knowing, Yoongi had joined the crowd but as always you completely lost yourself whilst playing when Jin soo suddenly came closer. “He is back,” he whispered in your ear and that made you look up and when you found him, you gave him a small smile, which he didn’t return but the intense gaze gave you goosebumps. You began to get tired so you decided to end it with Tangled’s, I see the light and when you were done everyone got up and applauded, which was a wonderful thing because a lot of people were in a really bad shape but to see everyone smile, made your heart burst a bit. You saw that Yoongi was still standing against the wall and it was like he was waiting for you.

You got up and hugged Jin soo before going to Yoongi who didn’t move, he only followed you with his eyes and it made you shy, to say the least, and you knew he knew but he didn’t smile once. “Yoongi?”

He took your hand and pulled you with him, he kept walking until you reached a room, which must be his room and he stepped back to give you a chance to get in, which you did and you watched him close the door. “Why are you here?”

“Excuse me, I could ask you the same thing.” you sat down on his bed and watching him come closer, he grabbed a chair and sat down right in front of you, you couldn’t help but study him, he didn’t look so good, to be honest, you could tell he hadn’t been sleeping a lot and he lost weight. “Are you staying here?” he finally asked after the awkward silence and you quickly shook your head. “No, I’m not staying. I was just visiting my little brother.”

“Ah, you mean Jin Soo?” you nodded and was surprised he even knew him as Jin Soo said they didn’t really meet. “I saw him when they brought him in, he looked really bad.” this was something you didn’t want to know as you were already feeling guilty for not being able to visit him sooner.

“I know but don’t change the subject, what are you doing here?”

“What do you think? I’m here because I’m sick.”

“I get that but what’s wrong with you?”

“I get really depressed at times and when those episodes occur my parents tend to lock me up in here for three weeks.”

“I didn’t know you were depressed, you didn’t seem depressed when we went out.” you were scratching your skin out of confusion because he was actually really nice that evening and active, which was surprising but you can’t say you saw him all dark and brooding. “That’s the thing though, I’m not, I was actually really happy that evening but that was something my parents hadn’t seen yet, so they thought I was faking it and when they checked my medication they saw that the bottle was almost empty and that made them decide that I needed to be locked up in here because they thought I had been trying to commit suicide but in all honesty I just threw the pills away because I really didn’t need them anymore.”

“Aren’t you an adult though?”

“I am, you know that.” You nodded but then it was just even weirder because how in the world are they still deciding for him. “But then why?”

“Because they are my guardians, as I made a big mistake, the judge decided it was the best if they had control over my life.” he shrugged as if it was nothing but it was just ridiculous that he couldn’t make this kind of decisions for himself because now he was staying here for nothing as he wasn’t depressed right now.

“But why didn’t you need the pills anymore?”

“Because I found something that made me feel lighter.” you had a inkling that he was talking about you but you didn’t want to be that arrogant, so you just kept your face blank and seeing as he wasn’t going to tell what it was, you just had to keep this feeling to yourself, just in case you would embarrass yourself.

“So how many days do you have to stay here?”

“Why do you miss me?”

“I do, I actually do miss our bickering.”

“Wait did you just admit that you miss me?” you nodded because why lie and you also was feeling bad for him and you didn;t want to make it harder than necessary, on top of that you were adults so why act childish?  

“Of course I miss you, I mean who else is going to be a pain in my butt?” you pushed him slightly and he actually laughed and without warning, he pulled you into his arms and hugged you tightly, this surprised you but you hugged him back without any hesitation. “I missed you too.” you stayed like this for awhile, when you heard Yoongi yawn, which meant it was late and you really had to go home. “I have to go.”

“Why?”

“Because visiting hours has been over for quite some time and I do have to go to school tomorrow.” you pushed him back and locked eyes with him and saw the sadness in them but there wasn’t anything you could do right now because you knew this was going to get you in trouble, as the visiting hours had been over for at least an hour by now.

“Can’t you just stay for the night?” you swatted his arm and chuckled because that was pretty bold of him, as you weren’t even really dating. “Pervert, I can’t.”

“Why am I a pervert, I wasn’t talking about anything else than just sleeping.”

“Right, well it’s still a no, I really have to go.” you got up and walked towards the door, you turned to say goodbye and suddenly felt sad when you saw that his shoulder were hanging, he really didn’t want you to go and for a second you wanted to stay but that wasn’t possible. “Yoongi.” he turned and your heart skipped a bit because his expression betrayed his feelings and he really wanted you to stay. “I will come back tomorrow okay?” He nodded and with that you left the room and you decided to check up on Jin Soo but he was already sleeping, so you gave him a quick kiss on his forehead and when you got to the door, the nurse who was working right now came walking up to you and let you through the door and you quickly bowed and apologized for staying too long, she wasn’t angry though and you immediately put your name  on the list to visit tomorrow again.

The next days you spend every hour you had to spare in the hospital, you divided your time between Yoongi and Jin Soo, Your little brother was happy to spend time with Yoongi who on his part made sure he had a good time, he even tried to teach him piano, this was a waste of time though as he really couldn’t play instruments but you had to give Yoongi credits for trying, you also got to see a different side of Yoongi, this side was more clingy and sweet, he needed your attention every single minute you were there and whenever he could hug you, he did and the good thing was that you didn’t have to deal with his mean side, this was really refreshing and your crush only became bigger but you also kept in mind that the second he was out of this department he probably would return to his old self, as he didn’t want people to see his soft side.

“Noona?” You looked up from the piano keys and you saw the worried expression, he wasn’t looking at you though, he was looking at something behind you. “What’s wrong?” you held out your hand for him to grab, which he immediately did, he even tried to hide himself a bit, which was strange as he normally didn’t behave like this. “Yah what’s wrong?” you had to ask again and you looked up again and locked eyes with Yoongi, who was staring at Jin Soo in worry, you saw Yoongi nudge his head towards the window behind you and when you turned around you had a bad feeling, there was just one reason why Jin Soo would act like this and you were right because behind that window stood his father, he was watching you intensely and you felt the shiver run through your body. “Yoongi, take Jin soo to your room please.” you got up and pushed Jin Soo gently into Yoongi, who immediately did what you told him.

You stepped through the doors and faced Jin Soo’s father who was smirking at you. This guy was disgusting and you couldn’t be happier when your mother told you that we were going to move away from. “What are you doing here?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“He is my brother, so it is my business.”

“You’re not his guardian, so let’s turn the question shall we, what are you doing here?”

“I’m taking care of Jin Soo and I will make sure you will never touch him again.” that made him laugh and take a step towards you but you weren’t little anymore and there was no way in hell that you would step back. “I didn’t touch him, he did this to himself.”

“After you hit him but that’s over now, so please just leave.”

“I will with my son.” he tried to push you out of the way but all the exercising with Jimin and Taehyung actually helped. You didn;t budge and without thinking you pushed him back hard, this made him stumble a bit. “Move!”

“No.”

That’s when his fist suddenly connected with your face, it all went so fast that you didn’t have time to defend yourself but you’d be damned to let him see that it hurt, the worst thing that was happening right now, was that Yoongi and Jin soo had seen this, you could hear them yell at Jin Soo’s father but as they were locked in there they couldn’t help but that was okay because you weren’t some weak little girl who needed someone to defend her, it was just the shock, that made you freeze for a second but when you got back to reality you straightened your shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes, this surprised him, which was shown all over his face because he thought you would be afraid of him, but you never had been afraid.

“Do you feel better now?” He narrowed his eyes again and this time you saw it coming and grabbed his wrist, that wasn’t going to happen a second time. “If you hit me again, I will report you.” you let go of his wrist with force and he actually stumbled back. “You changed.”

“I didn’t, I just don’t let assholes like you mistreat me.”

“What did you just say?!”

“I said asshole, do you have a problem with that? Because I don’t, oh and can’t you just leave because let’s be honest you don’t give a damn about Jin Soo.”

“I told you this already, I’m not leaving without my son.”

“I think you are though unless you want the police to find out that you abuse children.” you gave him your most innocent smile, as you pointed to the bruise that had appeared on your face. “You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t underestimate me.” you narrowed your eyes and took a step towards him, Yoongi didn’t like it one bit though, as you could hear him yell to stop walking but you had that disgusting man where you wanted and now you had to finish it.  “I’m not my mother who you could boss around and I’m not a little kid as well, I know how to defend myself and I really think you should give Jin Soo up, he doesn’t need a bad influence like you in his life it’s not like you care about him anyway.”

“I do.” you shook your head and held your hand up for him to stop talking bullshit. “You don’t so just give him up already. If you don’t do it voluntarily, I will drag your ass into a courtroom and believe me I will have evidence.”

“Alright, you can have the kid.” This surprised you because this was really fast, you had expected for him to argue more but only the word courtroom was enough to bring him to his knees.

“I will get the custody papers tomorrow and you better sign them.” with that you walked away and the minute you were out of sight your legs gave up. Never in your life had you been so scared, your hands were trembling like crazy and you could feel a panic attack coming. You couldn’t help but wonder where you got the nerve to be so disrespectful against an elder even though he deserved it. You touched your cheek and you cringed when you touched the spot he had hit, it actually really stung and it was also the first time a guy had hit you, One thing you knew for sure was that you never wanted to get hit again, it wasn’t a feeling you wanted to feel again that was for sure.

“Are you okay?” a nurse crouched in front of you and you slowly nodded but when he saw the bruise on your cheek he immediately helped you get up and pulled you with him. “I’m going to put some ice on it and made sure you get some painkillers.” he was all business like and that was the only reason why you weren’t sobbing right now because if he had been all nice and friendly, you would definitely cry. “Are you visiting someone?”

“I am.” you nodded shyly as he held the ice against your bruise, the male nurse was really handsome but for some reason, you felt like you were betraying Yoongi by just looking at him. “Are you visiting your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend but I’m visiting my little brother and a friend.” this was safe right because even though your heart skipped a beat when he asked if you had a boyfriend, you didn’t want to think that way.

“Ah, I see, well the bruise should be gone in a few days and be sure to take the painkillers for two days.”

“Thank you.” you bowed and left the room, you wanted to go home but you had to talk to the guys, there was no escaping from them and knowing Yoongi he was probably really angry by now. “Can I go in for a second?” you asked the nurse and she smiled at you because she was used to you being here every day. “Of course but don’t stay too long.” you nodded and thanked her. The minute you walked through the door Yoongi grabbed your hand and pulled you to his room. He closed the door and pushed you down on his bed, this was a bit startling as he had never done this before. You watched him anxiously and you were shocked when he crouched in front of you and gently touched the bruise on your cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, really.”

“Don’t lie.” you looked at your hands because he was right, you were lying, you obviously weren’t okay but you just didn’t want anyone to worry. “I will be fine.” you tried to smile but failed miserably.

“Look at me.” you didn’t because you were ashamed of the large bruise on your cheek but when you didn’t listen he put his hand gently under your chin and lifted it up so he could look you in the eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” you shrugged but felt the tears forming in your eyes. You leaned forwards and put your head against his chest and he didn’t hesitate to put his arms around you and as you inhaled his scent you felt yourself getting calm again. Who would have guessed you would feel this way about him one day, you surely didn’t but here you were loving this guy with all your heart and he didn’t even know it. After awhile you leaned back again and rubbed your neck because sitting that way for too long, well it wasn’t really comfortable.

“I have to talk to Jin Soo.” he nodded and walked with you to his room and there Jin Soo sat with his head on his knees, it was a sad sight but when you walked in he immediately looked up and jumped in your arms. “Are you okay Noona?” you nodded and ruffled his hair again. “I’m fine and I have good news.” you smiled at him and it broke your heart when you saw his hopeful expression. “What?”

“Do you want to live with mom and me?” his eyes widened as he took in your question and your heart broke, even more, when the biggest smile ever appeared on his face. “Can I?”

“You can, your father decided to give you up.” you smiled sadly because even though his father sucked, it was still his father.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Thank you Noona.” he hugged you tightly and you were taken back a bit when you felt him tremble hard. How sad was it that he was this nervous about good news. “Alright, I have to go.” he hugged you one more time “Good night Jin soo.” you left the room and walked right into Yoongi who was still waiting for you. “Do you really have to go?”

“I do, I promised the nurse not to stay too long.”

“Ah, well can you come with me for just a few seconds?”

“Sure.” you followed him back to his room and he closed the door yet again. You didn’t have a chance to do anything when his lips landed on yours. This kiss was different from the one you shared when you just met, this one wasn’t aggressive but sweet as he gently pushed his lips against yours, his one hand made it’s way to the back of your neck and his other hand pulled you closer, the tip of his tongue brushed your lower lip to get access, which you gave him without any hesitation, it was like your whole world shattered with the touch of his lips against yours and eventually you just had to touch him and as you touched his chest you could feel his rapid heartbeat, you didn’t know exactly how long you were like this but when he pulled back you felt lost.

“Go.” he whispered whilst stepping back with a satisfied smile.



Previous <————> Coming soon

anonymous asked:

Honestly, people arguing that Elriel shouldn't happen because Azriel deserves a mate irks me. I am not saying that I don't respect their right to not ship it, but come on... no one had a problem in ACoMaF when Azriel was waiting for centuries for Mor and was unhappy without a mating bond. The argument is not about Azriel finding a mate at all; it is about the fandom treating Elriel like less of an individual because of a bond that wasn't created out of love. The bond has worked in other cases...

(PART 2) because we actually saw the ships that were revealed to have a mating bond falling in love and developing an honest and supportive relationship. Bottom line, the fandom cares only about Azriel and Lucien and there are few people who acually consider Elain’s feelings in this equation. And it’s sad considering that at the same time they are complaining about the treatment of female characters.

You raise some good points, friend! I will be the first to admit that Elain is not my favorite and Azriel very much IS my favorite, so I do tend to swing the pendulum in his direction every time these conversations arise. However you’re right, Elain is BY NO MEANS obligated to Lucien, and this is reiterated several times in canon. And the point you bring up about how the fandom viewed Azriel when Moriel was still an option versus how they treat Azriel with Elriel on the table now IS pretty interesting, I’ve never considered that! I’ll have to think on it some more :) overall I just hope we see our babies happy and content and loved to the fullest.

EDIT: your drop about Elain being viewed as less of an individual post-bond is ON POINT. We should do better - myself included!
  • Me: I'm just not a flower kind if girl. I'd much rather books.
  • Random ass stranger: That's just because a special someone has yet to give you flowers ;)
  • Me: To be honest, I'm pretty sure it's to do with the hay fever.