because this time he is the one who is losing more

thinkin about papyrus

okay so i don’t have the screens for this rn but if you lose to papyrus he locks you in the shed right? and he leaves you a little note

if you lose to him twice, the note says something along the lines of “please ask before escaping next time! i was worried sick!”

and he signs it with “slightly bonetrousled, papyrus”

so from this, we can assume that the definition of “bonetrousle” is feeling anxious, worried, or nervous

…so why is his battle theme called that, then?

papyrus is a character who has a lot more to him than meets the eye, and one of the big things is that he puts on an act a lot of the time. remember the Q&A, where it was revealed that he’s never eaten spaghetti, he just makes it because others love it? or how when you call him and undyne in grillby’s, his opinion of grease changes the instant undyne reveals hers? plus, we already know he’s conflicted about trying to capture you in the first place.

he called his battle theme “anxiety” and disguised that with something that sounds silly and cool, and everyone takes it at face value. hm. i wonder where parallels can be drawn there.

also of note is that when you challenge him on the genocide route? his battle is completely, totally silent. an incredibly slowed-down version of bonetrousle plays before the battle, sure, but the moment you enter the battle screen? nothing.

so even in pacifist, he’s sort of nervous- “oh geez i really need to capture the human but they’re so nice but i’ll be popular but they haven’t hurt anyone”

but in genocide? no false confidence, no pretending. he’s 100% positive that he’s going to convince you to change your ways. he’s not bonetrousled at all.

Gone Home

Iddy had somehow managed to go his entire, cognitive life without boarding a plane. Why would he want to fly thousands of miles into the air in what was essentially a metal tube? But with everything that had been happening, his own thoughts conflicting each other and the feeling that he was slowly losing who he was, Iddy knew he had to do what he’d been putting off for years.

It was time for Iddy to go home.

So, he packed his bag, booked a ticket, and took a flight to New York.

Keep reading

A list of BTS’ most socially-conscious, thoughtful, woke, non-love songs:

2 Cool 4 Skool (2013)

No More Dream * = about the pressure of the younger generation to follow the dreams of their parents/elders and give up the dreams of their own

길 (Road/Path) = about taking the untraditional path despite the uncertainty of the future

O!RUL8,2? (2013)

Intro: O!RUL8,2? = about pursuing your own dreams, taking chances, and living without regret

N.O * = about the machine-like nature of the current education system

팔도강산 (Satoori Rap) = about being proud of where you’re from and your dialect. acknowledges and unifies Korea’s vast linguistic/provincial diversity

Skool Luv Affair (2014)

Tomorrow = about making the future better by being the instigator for change and never forgetting who you really are

등골 브레이커 (Spine Breaker) * = comments on consumerism/materialism and respecting your elders

Jump = about remembering the hopeful dreams of one’s youth and growing up to become the hero of your own childhood

Dark & Wild (2014)

힙합성애자 (Hip Hop Lover) = about the power of music to change one’s life

Rain = comments on the repetition/monotony of life and that fact that one has to confront oneself in order to create change

BTS Cypher, Pt. 3: KILLER = haters? “i don’t give a fuck”

핸드폰 좀 꺼줄래 (Can You Turn Off Your Phone) = comments on society’s obsession with social media and the decline of face-to-face communication

2학년 (Second Grade) = about working hard and staying humble in order to reach the top

Wake Up (2014)

The Stars = about facing the ups and downs of life and never giving up no matter what

Wake Up = about continuing to work hard as others sleep & taking control of one’s life

The Most Beautiful Moment In Life, Part 1 (2015)

Intro: 화양연화 * = comments on the uncertainty of the future, the search to find one’s purpose, and the dangers of comparing oneself to others

I NEED U * = going beyond a classic love song, the song comments on the insecurity of youth

쩔어 (DOPE) * = about waking up the sleeping youth and breaking the stereotypes placed upon the younger generation by working hard to reach the top. reject rejection!

흥탄소년단 (Boyz with Fun) = about ignoring the judgement of other’s and doing what makes you happy

이사 (Move/Moving On) = about remembering/learning from the past while reaching for a higher place

The Most Beautiful Moment In Life, Part 2 (2015)

Intro: Never Mind * = about looking forward and working even harder if you feel like falling down

Run * = about not letting anything stop you from pursuing your passions

Butterfly = comments on the insecurities of youth & the fears of feeling dependent on someone

Whalien 52 = about loneliness & feeling like no one is listening/understanding

Ma City = comments on being aware/proud of your hometown’s history (& also calls out a Korean online terrorist group that targets minorities and leftists, especially people from Jeolla province, were J-Hope was born)

뱁새 (Baepsae/Silver Spoon) = comments on the concept of social status/privilege and the growing gap between the upper and lower class

고엽 (Dead Leaves) = comments on the difficulty of giving up something good for the better

The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: Young Forever (2016)

불타오르네 (FIRE) * = about how one should live however one wants to without labels & that it’s okay to lose

Save ME * = comments on the duality of youth (happiness and sadness) and thanks ARMYs for accepting who they (BTS) are and letting them be who they are

Epilogue: Young Forever * = comments on the difficulty, but importance, of facing reality, moving forward, and following one’s dreams

House of Cards = comments on how ignorance can be bliss but that reality will always catch up eventually

YOUTH (2016)

Good Day = comments on brotherhood and the importance of lifting each other up to create a brighter tomorrow

Wishing On A Star = about not being afraid to have big dreams because the more you hope, the more likely it will come true

Wings (2016)

Intro: Boy Meets Evil * = comments on the dangerous addiction of greed/ambition

피 땀 눈물 (Blood Sweat & Tears) * = comments on the danger/ease of succumbing to temptation & losing the innocence of youth

Begin * = about brotherhood & how the other members shaped him to become who he is today

Lie * = about feeling trapped under the lies he told himself & losing his identity in the process

Stigma * = about struggling with his self-identity & his guilt because he can’t always be there for the people he cares about

First Love * = about how the piano guided him to recover his passion for music

Reflection * = about insecurity, loneliness, self-hatred & learning to love himself

MAMA * = about thanking his mom for always supporting him & telling her she can lean on him now

Awake * = about acknowledging his limits and imperfections but trying hard anyway & putting the other members before himself

Lost = comments on the uncertainty of growing up and finding one’s own path

BTS Cypher Pt. 4 = about not listening to those trying to bring you down & to love yourself

Am I Wrong = comments on the corrupt government system that doesn’t care about the general public and only focuses on pleasing the top 1%

21 세기 소녀 (21st Century Girls) = comments on the unjust treatment of females in current society & a women-empowerment message of strength and self-love

둘! 셋! (그래도 좋은 날이 더 많기를) (2! 3!) = about enduring/overcoming hardship by sharing your burdens and finding strength from one’s loved ones

You Never Walk Alone (2017)

봄날 (Spring Day) * = comments on government corruption by referencing the Sewol Ferry Tragedy & is about missing a friend that you haven’t seen in a long time

Not Today * = about empowering the underdogs/minorities/women of the world

Outro: Wings = about believing in oneself and having trust in one’s decisions in order to choose one’s own path

A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone = comments on the importance of teamwork in order to dream bigger and reach higher

name: video w/ lyrics

=: live performance/dance practice

*:official music videos/trailers

let’s talk about the Pearls

because their behaviour in The Trial was fascinating to me

At first, we see them exhibiting all their usual stuff. YP is as flourishing and Extra as always, and while for the most part BP is her usual quiet self, we see her display the most actual personality ever as she grins while drawing “Rose Quartz’s” death

But the tricky thing with the Diamonds’ Pearls is that it is very, very hard to tell what’s the real them. What are they really thinking, and what’s a show they have to put on to avoid their owners’ wrath?

Here, we see them lose their calm– both of them, at the same time, for the same reason. And not because of a direct threat/insult, like Yellow Pearl’s flinching from Yellow Diamond in “Message Recieved”. It’s a comment Blue Zircon makes:

“So how did a Rose Quartz with no business being anywhere near Pink Diamond get so close in the first place? Where were Pink Diamond’s attendants? Her Agates? Her Sapphires? And where was her Pearl?”

They both immediately freeze. YP’s expression is terrified. She looks directly and BP, as if either afraid for her, or searching for reassurance or guidance. We don’t know exactly what Blue Pearl’s expression is, with her eyes covered– but maybe fear too, or uncertainty, or surprise…

So the question is. Why?

1) They’re genuinely shocked. They’re so indoctrinated by Homeworld ideology that the thought that Pink Diamond’s Pearl didn’t do anything to protect her is an accusation which strikes them to their core

2) They’re afraid their Diamonds will lash out at them as scapegoats. This episode made it painfully clear that YD especially is pretty trigger happy, so I wouldn’t put it past her to occasionally strike out at blameless underlings

3) They know something.

This last one seems more likely to me. Because why else would they get so much focus? The question is– what?

Okay. Let me split this up into sub-theories:

  • They (or one of them) witnessed Pink Diamond’s death, and they have information which could explain the discrepancies Blue Zircon brought up. However, they never divulged it for whatever reason. (Possibly because, if there was a cover up, they could be at risk if the did). Now it might come out accidentally, and they could take the fallout.

  • One or both of them helped orchestrate Pink Diamond’s assassination, either directly or indirectly. The main issue is the question of how an obvious criminal like Rose Quartz could have gotten close enough to Pink Diamond to kill her. Pearls would have a great insight into how all the court hierarchies work. Since they’re considered to be basically dim-witted furniture, they’re pretty easily ignored. Combine this with abilities such as holographic projections, perhaps they could have found a way to smuggle Rose Quartz (or the true killer) close enough.

  • Another Pearl was directly involved in the smuggling and killing of Pink Diamond. While they didn’t plan it, BP and YP helped her (and any allies e.g. Rose Quartz) escape, because of Pearl Solidarity

Hmm…. but who could this other Pearl be… If only there was another Pearl in the show… a known rebel… who’s past history with Homeworld is shrouded in mystery…

Ah. Yes.

Now, I’ll admit, I don’t know exactly how Pearl exactly fits in. Rose Quartz being the killer seems important for the Arc of Steven coming to discover that his Mom’s past actions weren’t all sunshine and daisies, and the further arc of him realizing that maybe sometimes violence/shattering is necessary or justified. So maybe she just helped sneak Rose in, even if she didn’t deliver the killing blow herself. 

Although, if Pearl was the culprit, that might give even more impact to her expression when Steven discovered what happened to Pink Diamond in ‘Back to the Moon’

Admittedly, this can easily just be Pearl saddened that Steven’s discovered the truth. That the perfect image of his mother, the person Pearl loved and respected more than anyone else, has been broken. That his innocence has been lost.

But if she was responsible, it could also be fear that Steven– who is innocent, who still values the lives of everyone– would reject her if he discovered she was the one who did it. 

(Also, consider Pearl’s claims of being Rose’s sole confidant, the one who knows everything… The only one who knew the truth of Pink Diamond’s shattering.)

‘Course, we’ve got the little problem here that all eye witness accounts say that Rose Quartz killed Pink Diamond. As you might have noticed, Pearl looks absolutely nothing like Rose.

… but hey. How about shapeshifting? You know. That thing Pearl swears she can do, but that we’ve never seen her demonstrate in 132 episodes? This would be a pretty significant demonstration. And the trauma of using it for such a thing could explain why she hasn’t wanted to use it since. 

(Not sure why Pearl would have felt the need to disguise herself as Rose Quartz. Maybe it was because she knew all the other RQs got captured and bubbled for Rose’s rebellion, so Pearl was protect her fellows from a similar culling. Or maybe she thought showing the leader of the rebellion dealing the finishing blow would make a stronger image. idk)

That said, again, I still really am fond of Rose being responsible… so maybe we can split the difference and put the death on Rainbow Quartz? That would be rad too.

basically it’s all a mystery and i’m not sure where it’s going, but the Pearls almost definitely have some clue

Let’s end this on their worried faces

(protect them

look at me - i will never pass for a perfect bride

so i know i already made a retold mulan post but i just LOVE MULAN SO MUCH so here’s another

in the original myth mulan isn’t really a clumsy fish out of water. she’s strong and smart and the reason she goes to war is because she’s the most qualified person in her family to fight, regardless of gender.

so how about this: mulan’s a fighter. she knows exactly who she is, like in the original myth, she’s knows how to be the blossoming flower and the great stone dragon. she’s still mulan though, so she still doesn’t memorize the silly ways she’s supposed to be a good wife and has little patience for appearing graceful while pouring tea. she’s innovative and courageous and beautiful, but no one is under any illusions about what kind of wife she’ll be.

and the matchmaker is the matchmaker for the li family as well, for this great big part of china. and general li wants his son to be married before he goes off to war, wants his son to have a reason to fight to live, like a wife waiting for him. and the matchmaker reads the stars and the tea leaves and the astrology charts, and no matter what all the signs point to one thing: the honorable li shang is destined to marry the insolent, arrogant fa mulan.

the matchmaker isn’t going to let that happen, she refuses to be responsible for that disaster of a wedding. so she sends her most beautiful girls, the ones that are obedient and quiet and know their roles, the ones that are eager to marry into the li family.

and each of them are entertained and met and sent back. shang is many things, but smooth isn’t one of them, he has nothing to say to these quiet girls who smile at him, feels large and awkward around their polite smiles. so he and his father go to the matchmaker’s village, shang reluctantly and his father to demand she stops messing with them and provides a proper bride.

it’s on the day that mulan and the other girls are parading in the street. shang sees a girl - mulan - hurry into the end of the line, jumping over a bench and darting around a careening wagon to get there, and stifles a laugh.

then there’s no reason to laugh at all, because a group of huns have decided that this village is in their way, and attack.

everyone scatters, women hide, children hide, and most of the men do too. shang and his father join the fight with some of the other men who hadn’t hid, and these men are starved, clearly not with shan yu, so even though they’re outnumbered they’ll likely win.

shang sees a hun go to attack the girl he’d seen earlier, the girl for whatever reason hadn’t run and hid. the hun raises a sword above his head to strike her down, and shang is so sure he’s about to see this pretty girl lose her head.

but she doesn’t. instead she rolls out of the way, and pops up, headbutting him in the stomach. she takes his sword from his now-slack grip and plunges it into his chest. without hesitation or pause the girl joins the fight, swinging the sword expertly and cutting down every man who stands against her. soon they’re fighting back to back, and shang has never felt more in sync with another person. she cuts off the head of the last hun, and shang has never seen anyone more beautiful than this girl, dress ripped and make up smudged and covered in blood that isn’t hers.

“mulan,” one of the other girls says, peaking out of a store front, “is it over?”

the girl, mulan, looks out over the dozen dead men and says, grimly, “it’s barely begun.” she searches the crowd, finding and old man and yelling, “gather the bodies, we’ll burn that at dusk outside of the village. everyone else,” her eyes sweep across the gathered people, and shang is struck by the fact that this girl isn’t well liked. there’s anger and disapproval in many of the faces, but they’re listening. these people don’t like her. but they do trust her. “let’s clean this all up. these were bandits, not soldiers. there’s nothing more to fear.”

“what if there are more?” the other girl asks, arms wrapped around herself.

mulan raises her stolen sword and says, “then i will slice them to ribbons. this is our village, and this is our country. any who would try to take it from us - from me - will suffer the consequences.”

and it shouldn’t be comforting, hearing words of violence from this young girl, yet everyone around them relaxes, and gets moving, gather the bodies and tending the wounded.

“who are you?” his father asks, and someone who doesn’t know him might think he was angry, but shang can tell he’s impressed.

mulan turns to them and bows, “my apologies. i am fa mulan, daughter of fa zhou. thank you for helping us.” she stands, and shang meets her eyes for the first time.

he swallows, and blurts out, “you - you fight good.”

his father coughs to hide his laughter, but mulan’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “thank you. you do as well.”

and they just keep standing there smiling at each other until his father claps his hands and is like okay - they’ll have to report this to the emperor, no time to dawdle, have to go now.

so they take their leave, and shang thinks this is the last time he’ll see fa mulan.

except there’s still the draft, and this time mulan doesn’t take no for an answer, won’t hear of it. her father is injured and old and she is young and fit to fight. she will go in his place.

so she arrives at the camp, prepared to pretend and lie - except she goes to meet her commanding officer and it’s him, that boy who had fought with her. shang’s eyes widen, but they’re in front of too many people. he can see it on her face, her fear, and she hadn’t shown any fear when she was facing down over a dozen huns, but she does now. so he makes his choice and says nothing, pretends he buys her story.

she tracks him down that night and demands an explanation. he says this war is too important to kill good warriors, whatever gender they are. he swears to keep her secret. mulan is his best soldier from the beginning, and means to treat her like anyone else, but it’s impossible. she isn’t like anyone else, is strong and smarter and braver than them. they argue tactics, and she’s the only one who can give him a workout in hand to hand, and he doesn’t have trouble finding his words with her. he finds himself falling in love with her, but doesn’t say anything. she’s not here for love, she’s here for a war. he vows to say something if they survive this, but it’s unlikely that will happen.

they head to the front earlier. they get there in time to provide back up for his father and his army, and it’s a loss but not a slaughter. his father is too distracted to notice ping is the girl from the village. all he knows is this soldier had led the second wave of attacks, and it was thanks to her any of them were alive at all. they prevent half of the huns from getting through the pass, but that’s still an army heading for the imperial city. the general is injured, so mulan and shang lead the army after him.

they find him at the mountain, and just like before mulan uses the cannon to destroy the army. she knew it would spell their death, but it was worth it, for her people, for her country, for her family. this time it’s shang that won’t accept her death, that tries to drag her unconscious body to safety. only he fails, and mulan becomes buried under the snow.

they return to the city, and shang is besides himself - the woman he loves is dead, she saved them all and she’s gone, and he’ll never recover from this. only he can’t tell his father this, their friends. they think he mourns a friend, not the woman he wanted to make his wife.

except mulan survives, and sees the other huns as well. only she kills them there before they can get to the city, and decides this is for the best. fa ping dies honorably in battle, and fa mulan is free to return home to her family.

so general li decides that it’s time to go to that matchmaker again, and demand she stop playing games. the matchmaker confesses that she thought the bride was unsuitable, and the general demands she send her anyway.

so mulan has barely had the chance to settle back home when the matchmaker shows up at her door saying she’s sending her to see a potential husband, but not who. so mulan shows up all made up to li household and shang drags himself into the room, already resigned to a loveless marriage, when they see each other. “mulan?” he demands, and his father is all pleased because it’s the fighting girl from the village.

but then his son starts crying and they run to each other. shang picks her up in his arms and she clings to him, and shang is babbling about how he thought she was dead, and mulan is so overjoyed that she’s with shang, and shang wants her, that she kisses him without explaining.

except now shang’s father demands an explanation. so they give it to him, the whole story comes tumbling out, and he stares hard at her, and remembers her as ping, the brave soldier that had saved them all. he’s not upset - he ecstatic. he goes to the emperor and tells him everything, and the emperor officially offers mulan an officer position in the army. she accepts, as long as shang is by her side. shang seconds this, and they set in motion the plans for the wedding.

fa mulan and li shang get married and lead armies and live happily ever after, just like the stars intended.


read more of my retold fairytales here

p-dots  asked:

I was wondering if you knew anything about the situation with Billy the Asian Elephant at the LA Zoo? I just received an email from the Zoo that a city council motion was filed to remove Billy from the zoo, and they're still trying to fight to keep him. A lot of people claim he appears stressed which is why there's been a big fight to get him moved. I don't really know a lot about elephants so I don't really know what side is best to take or what sources to take seriously (other than the Zoo).

I’ve been following the story of Billy pretty closely. I’m glad you asked - it’s the sort of thing I think is really important to talk about, because people need to understand what’s going on behind the nicely framed stories about animal activism you hear in the media, but I’m never sure how much of that sort of animal industry politics followers are interested in reading. 

The reason this specific instance is so important is because it’s a hell of a lot more complicated than ‘sanctuary vs zoo, which is better for the animals’. The decision to go after Billy - and only Billy, and only right now - looks to me like a really strategic political decision from the animal rights movement, and it falls in line with what I’ve been researching the history, evolution, and MO of the animal rights movement. As I’ve been learning more and more about how animal rights organizations and their partnered sanctuaries conquer and divide to achieve the change they want to see, a very specific pattern of action has started cropping up and this situation exemplifies how they’ve learned to use legislation, the legal system, and the good intentions of the general public to remove animals from zoos. This explanation is going to seem a little bit like jumping at shadows, but this method of petitioning cities to seize zoo animals as assets - and the really conveniently timed fallout that would result from their success - is textbook animal rights organization planning. 

So here’s what you need to know - if Billy is sent to a sanctuary, the LA Zoo would lose their AZA accreditation. They’d likely then be subject to the new wild animal performance law that’s got major support in LA right now, because only AZA institutions would likely have an automatic exemption. The combination of loss of accreditation, potential inability to do public education and outreach, and the ability of the AR groups to spin the situation as ‘AZA kicked them out for being abusive to their elephants’ would massively damage the viability of the zoo as an institution for the foreseeable future… at which point AR groups could easily petition the city to seize more animals from the collection and send them off to sanctuaries, because it’s now “well known” what a horrible institution the LA Zoo is. That would normalize the idea that animal rights organizations and city officials with no professional animal experience know more about animal welfare than the best zoological institutions in the country, and would set a scary precedent regarding what sorts of institutions the public will accept the animal rights organizations condemning and removing animals from. With that sort of potential fallout - and all of the pieces of the puzzle having been successful, individually, within the last decade or so in regards to other animal rights campaigns - this really is not about a single elephant at all. 


AZA has this one really important rule in their accreditation standards, and it boils down to: any zoo they accredit must be considered the experts and have final say over the care of their animals. If anyone external to a AZA accredited zoo overrules that zoo’s choice of care for their animals in any way, that zoo loses their AZA accreditation because they are no longer viewed as having ultimate control over the welfare of their charges. This is really important when it comes to elephants, as the Toronto Zoo lost their AZA accreditation over exactly this situation: animal rights activists caught wind of TZ’s plan to transfer their elephants to a facility in Florida where they’d live in a bigger herd, and petitioned the city council to send the elephants a the Performing Animals Welfare Sanctuary (the same one they want Billy to go to, which has a known history of uncontrolled tuberculosis infections on the property to this day). The Toronto Zoo is a municipal zoo - which means its animals were city property - and the city council chose to claim the elephants as assets, ignore the evidence of animals with active TB already living at the chosen facility, and then overruled the Toronto Zoo staff’s due diligence about what choice would provide the best welfare for their elephants and sent them away to PAWS. Having been overruled by the city council and having lost control of animals in their collection, the Toronto Zoo lost their AZA accreditation. (They later reapplied and were re-accredited). 

So, if the animal rights activists can convince the city council to claim Billy as an asset and remove him to PAWS, it would really damage the LA Zoo as an institution. Their credibility in the eyes of the public would be destroyed, they’d lose exemptions from federal legislation due to losing their AZA status; they’d be forced to pull out of multiple major SSPs (because only AZA institutions are allowed to house animals in the Green level programs, of which LA zoo has number); they’d likely lose grant funding. What’s more, the zoo would then be subject to the recent law banning the use of any exotic animal in “entertainment”in LA, because if has the same structure as similar legislation we’ve seen in other states, only AZA facilities get an exemption. If true, that would mean the zoo would no longer be able to do education and outreach programs with their animals (and this law was backed by PAWS, the organization that runs sanctuary they’re trying to send Billy to). 

There’s a very specific reason that this whole campaign centers on Billy, not all three elephants, which is part of what makes it so clear this is a campaign with an end goal of damaging the LA Zoo’s AZA accreditation. Billy’s two elderly companions, Jewel and Tina, would be far better candidates to be sent to a sanctuary if welfare is really the concern driving the advocacy. They’re rescues from a private owner who were massively underweight and had chronic medical conditions, and it’s not as important for them to stay within AZA’s management as other elephants because they’re too old to contribute to the Asian Elephant SSP. The LA zoo has previously been willing to send older elephants to the PAWS sanctuary without needing intervention from the city council (that story is discussed below), so why is this newer campaign ignoring the elderly females and bypassing the zoo entirely by going to the city council when their welfare would likely be more improved by that sort of move? Jewel and Tina don’t belong to the LA Zoo - they’re officially part of the San Diego Zoo collection and on loan to LA - which means the city council can’t claim them as assets and forcibly remove them. The only elephant at the LA zoo that the LA city council has the ability to control is Billy, and so it’s pretty clear this is about getting the city council to overrule the zoo’s choices in caring for their collection and not about which elephants would benefit most from leaving the zoo environment. 

This is an attempt by the animal rights industry to undermine the LA Zoo as an organization - that much is clear. Billy is just a convenient figurehead and an animal that the public will empathize with while being completely unaware of the the ulterior motives behind the advocacy effort. It comes at a delicate time, too, as the LA Zoo is currently in the process of developing a new master plan for the future of the facility. That’s a future that would be massively impacted by a loss of accreditation and all the potential fallout that would go along with it. 


So that’s the context to the Billy situation, and why people are fighting so hard on both sides of the issue. But what the public really cares about here isn’t the politics, it’s the animal welfare, so here’s a look at history and the welfare of the elephant at the center of all this furor. 

Billy at the LA Zoo. (Photo Credit: San Diego Blogs)

Billy is one of three elephants at the LA Zoo - he’s the youngest, at 32, and the only male. Billy is kept separated from his two elderly female companions, Jewel and Tina, because he’s young enough to still want to reproduce and would injure the elderly ladies if he tried to mount them. However, while the elephants are always separated by a barrier, the exhibit was designed with heavy-duty wire fences that meant the elephants could always be able to see, hear, and touch each other through it. The LA Zoo Asian elephant exhibit is one of the biggest elephant habitats in the United States at 6.5 acres (with almost four acres of yard space), and was opened in 2010 - the construction of a state-of-the-art habitat was part of the resolution from the first time animal rights activists demanded the elephants move to a PAWS sanctuary. 

In 2006, an elderly Asian elephant named Gita died at the LA Zoo. It’s not clear what led to her ending up in position she did, but she was found laying on her back legs with her front legs stretched in front of her. Nothing they did could entice her to stand back up, and she eventually died as her body weight crushed her own tissue and the toxins released during that process overloaded her kidneys. (While this sounds brutal, it’s worth keeping in mind that this is likely how many elderly large animals die if they lay down for the last time in a position that puts their weight on their own body). Animal rights activists had already been agitating for the LA Zoo’s elephants to be sent to a sanctuary, and they used Gita’s death as momentum to push for Billy and the other female housed there at the time, an african elephat named Ruby, to be transported to a sanctuary where it was claimed her welfare would be much higher than at the zoo. The LA Zoo eventually caved to public pressure and chose to send Ruby to PAWS (keeping their AZA accreditation by doing so voluntarily) where she was immediately housed with other animals without a proper quarantine period, exposed to animals who were TB positive and were not diagnosed until after death, and eventually died herself in 2011 from an unknown disease that looked suspiciously like TB (PAWS declined to send out samples for testing, despite what appeared to be physical symptoms observed during the necropsy). 

Gita at the LA zoo in 1999 in the old exhibit. ( Photo Credit: Al Seib / Los Angeles Times)

Billy remained at the LA Zoo after Ruby left, and the organization undertook a 42-million-dollar elephant exhibit renovation with the intention of bringing in another breeding male and a number of females as part of the Asian Elephant SSP. In 2007, local activists sued to halt construction of the exhibit with the goal of removing elephants from the LA zoo permanently and forcing Billy into a sanctuary - after a case that was drawn out for a number of years and repeatedly stalled exhibit construction, the judge assigned instead that the LA Zoo was allowed to continue exhibiting elephants but was required to exercise them frequently, make regular exhibit improvements such as tilling the soil, and banned the use of tools such as bullhooks and guides at the facility. When the new elephant exhibit opened in 2010, the LA zoo decided to put breeding plans for Billy on hold in order to house a pair of bonded female Asian elephants - Jewel and Tina - who had recently been removed from a private owner who had neglected their medical care. 

The three elephants share access to the large, heated elephant barn and have 24/7 access to five unique outdoor yards. Each yard has a substrate of soft sand that is tilled regularly to keep it from becoming compacted and hard - the shifting motion of the sand helps keeps the elephants in shape as they walk over it - and each yard has unique features like puzzle feeders, bathing pools and waterfalls. 

Browse and treats are placed at unique locations around all the yards each day, encouraging the elephants to explore their environment anew each morning. In addition, a comprehensive environmental enrichment program makes sure the elephants always have novel objects and stimuli to interact with and a daily training session (which the public is able to watch as a demonstration most days a week) keeps them mentally engaged by practicing foot care, grooming, practice for any veterinary behaviors that might be needed, as well as strength- and balance-focused exercises.

The AZA accreditation standards - which cover general animal policy in 34 pages, and use another 12 to cover animal interactions with the public or use in education programs - have dedicated 32 pages specifically to the regulations regarding elephant husbandry, training, nutrition, body condition, enrichment, and welfare assessments. As a large AZA-accredited zoo that frequently falls under the celebrity-studded, critical eye of the local populace, it’s inconceivable that Billy’s care (and that of Tina and Jewel) is not in accordance with these highly detailed requirements. 

Photos of the new LA Zoo elephant exhibit. (Photo credits: The Portico Group).

The LA Zoo’s elephant exhibit, finished in 2010, was designed by The Portico Group, a design firm founded in Seattle, WA in 1990. The Portico Group’s exhibit designs consistently awards every year within the industry for their incorporation of the newest animal welfare science and management technologies as well as educational and interpretive options. Their design for the LA Zoo is on par with the quality of the rest of their designs, and features a similar amount of yard space for the elephants as the design they created for the widely-praised Cheyenne Mountain Zoo’s Africa expansion that opened in 2013. 

Billy in his habitat at the LA Zoo. (Photo Credit: AP Photo/Richard Vogel)


One of the biggest reasons people express a concern for Billy is a head-bobbing behavior he’s been known to perform his entire tenure at the LA Zoo. The public is aware that repetitive behaviors (called stereotypies) can be signs of low quality welfare, and often worry that means that Billy isn’t being well taken care of at the zoo. However, one thing that isn’t commonly known about sterotypical behaviors is that once developed, they rarely go away once the animal is in a better welfare situation - which leads guests to often misunderstand an animal’s behavior as it relates to their current care. 

The LA Zoo has studied Billy’s head bobbing behavior over the years, and concluded that it appears to be an anticipatory behavior rather than one brought on by stress, as it mainly occurs when the elephant is awaiting the arrival of food, expecting a keeper interaction, or getting ready for movement into another area of his habitat. They also found that Billy had been noted to be displaying the head bobbing behavior when he came to the zoo at age 4 and that it was not something not something he developed during his life at the facility. 

Just because the behavior doesn’t mean that Billy has low welfare in his situation at the LA Zoo doesn’t mean the staff just want to leave him to bob and sway: to help decrease the amount of head-bobbing Billy does and engage him in a range of other behaviors, the keeper staff change their husbandry routine slightly each day and provide enrichment at different times in order to keep him investigating his environment instead of standing and waiting for regular occurrences. 


At the end of the day, Billy’s welfare does not appear to be the impetus pushing this current furor around “rescuing him” - he’s a convenient figurehead for what appears to be a well-coordinated attempt to undercut the LA Zoo’s credibility and accreditation status. 

But even though the actual welfare of the elephant is irrelevant to the organizations pushing this agenda, the general public is now very invested in understanding Billy’s welfare in regards to the outcome of this situation. 

The sanctuary animal rights activists are recommending Billy be sent to has multiple issues with basic elephant husbandry and medical treatment. PAWS was unable to evacuate their elephants in when threatened by a massive wildfire in 2015, due to their policy against doing even the most basic husbandry training with their animals that would have allowed them to be walked into a trailer or crated for transport. Instead, the animals were sheltered on site as the fire came within a few miles of the facility, putting them through massive amounts of stress and resulting in probable smoke inhalation. PAWS frequently take in animals that are reported as healthy upon transport, only to report having to euthanize them within a few years due to crippling chronic conditions. Most concerning is that PAWS appears to be plagued by frequent tuberculosis outbreaks among their elephants, potentially with multiple strains of the disease, despite their stated adherence to biosafety protocols -and that they have had at least one animal die while sick with active, contagious TB infections that were only discovered post-mortem. 

Billy is currently housed in a modern elephant habitat that was created in accordance with best practices for elephant management by outstanding architects - a remodel that was done specifically in response to the original welfare concerns about LA Zoo’s elephants in the late 2000′s. He has access to state-of-the-art veterinary medicine and is cared for by a dedicated team keepers who practice medical treatment behaviors, like foot care, with him daily to ensure that he can quickly receive treatment in a stress-free setting if it becomes necessary in the future. LA Zoo’s elephant keepers work hard to keep Billy active, mentally stimulated, and make sure he has plenty of positive social interactions with both the human and elephant members of his herd. 

If the goal of the general public is Billy’s welfare, he is far better off in a habitat designed for him to inhabit with the staff he has known for a better part of two decades than being sent across the country to a facility with massive red flags in their elephant management program just to fulfill a political movement’s agenda of damaging the facility that holds him. 


Citations under the cut. 

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so i just wanted to make a post with all of my favorite Bakugou moments

(this was gonna be a post about bakugou-isms. like. moments where bakugou has said/done something inspiring or wise. but. ended up getting carried away jkl;agha)

anyway i apologize because. this is gonna be long

1. Bakugou declaring that he refuses to lose to anyone again, recognizing that there are other people who are stronger than him that he needs to surpass.

i just really enjoy this moment, because it was a big wake-up call for his character to realize that he isn’t the best, there are people in the world who can surpass him, and that he needs to work harder to reach his goals. the world isn’t as black and white as he thought, and it’s his first step to his major development later on.

2. Bakugou calmly analyzing the situation at USJ 

i really like this moment b/c it’s s fascinating to watch Bakugou explain that none of their classmates are in danger, and that they should instead go and capture Black Mist, because he’s how the Villains got in in the first place. 

it shows that he’s far more than just a violent, angry, rage machine. underneath it all, he’s actually far more intelligent than he seems, and this scene is one of the first that really showcases that

(this is also the moment where Kirishima finally begins to trust him; before this, he was really wary of Bakugou because of how violently he went after Izuku during the Heroes vs. Villains exams (he was seriously worried that Bakugou would kill Izuku). it’s only after this moment where Kirishima changes his initial opinion of Bakugou and begins to trust him)

3. Bakugou explaining that a quirk is nothing more than an extension of a person’s body

i just really love that, of all the characters to do this, it’s Bakugou that explains that even quirks have their limits. it’s a very introspective moment that reminds the audience that these amazing powers aren’t limitless, and that even Bakugou, despite his pride and stubbornness, knows he has limits to what he can do

4. Bakugou’s SHEER GODDAMN TENACITY DURING THE CAVALRY BATTLE 

KID JUST REFUSES TO GO DOWN AND BY DOING SO, HE INSPIRES HIS TEAMMATES WITH HIS DETERMINATION AND DESIRE TO WIN AND THEY IN TERN BECOME DETERMINED TO WIN AND NOTHING IS GONNA STOP HIM FROM BECOMING NUMBER ONE AND IT’S JUST SO AWESOME AND ENERGETIC AND  I LOVE IT

5. Bakugou acknowledging Uraraka’s strength 

PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY, TBH. i love how he refuses to cal her weak in any capacity, defending her against Kaminari’s words. he fought her. he knows better than anyone here that she is anything but weak. and this is the first moment where he’s vocally defending another person, which i love b/c it’s another step in his character development

6. Bakugou telling off Todoroki for standing before him without the intent to win

this scene really shows a lot of what motivates Bakugou’s character. He wants to win against Todoroki–who’s one of the strongest in the class–and prove himself as the best. But Todoroki isn’t really fighting back, because he’s going through personal issues, which is understandable and under no fault of his own.

tbh, i think it’s an interesting point to think about, because everyone at the Sports Festival is here to win. they’re all trying their best–Bakugou, Izuku, Uraraka (who Bakugou even alludes to in his rant above), Momo, etc. and it is kind of insulting to fight someone who isn’t even really trying to fight back against you in a tournament where that’s the entire purpose of it all. 

that’s why Bakugou fought so hard against all of his opponents, because they all got to this level. he’s showing them respect by not going easy on them. and Bakugou finds it extremely insulting that Todoroki isn’t. i just find it a fascinating aspect to his character. it’s kind of an off-shoot of a ‘warrior’s code’ sort of thing

7. Bakugou refusing to accept his win at the Sports Festival 

again, i think it shows an interesting aspect of his character, because he feels like this win wasn’t deserved, because Todoroki didn’t give it his all. it’s a hollow win, and Bakugou knows it, and he refuses to accept it. 

8. the strength of Bakugou’s ideal of what a hero should be and his SHEER GODDAMN TENACITY DURING THE END OF TERM EXAM

I just love that his ideal of what a hero should be is based on All Might, the ultimate hero, who NEVER loses. this his why he became a hero in the first place, this is what motivates him in everything he does. to Bakugou, real heroes never lose, so he absolutely has to win. always.

and i love how he just refuses to give up–maybe it’s not always the greatest thing (pushing himself too far and all) but i find that really admirable too. no matter what, he just refuses to give up, and i love that (even if it isn’t exactly the best thing sometimes). he’s gonna do everything in his power to win, because that’s what heroes do, and nothing short of being knocked unconscious is gonna stop him.

9. Bakugou absolutely fucking REFUSING to join the Villain Alliance, practically BLOWING SHIGARAKI’S FACE UP WHILE DOING SO, because no matter what they say, he’s going to be a HERO, and goddammit. 

he was inspired by All Might, that’s the person who motivated him to become a hero in the first place, that’s the person who he’s admired since he was a child, and the person he wants to become like. and nothing in this world is going to change that.

10. Bakugou refusing to lie, even when he’s been kidnapped and surrounded by villains. 

i just find it fascinating that this is one of his personal morals, and that he (like All Might) doesn’t lie. he may be in denial more often than not, but he never lies. 

11. Aizawa defending Bakugou against the reporters

i just love how Aizawa understands Bakugou, how he realizes that Bakugou is no way in danger of becoming a villain. how Bakugou’s motivations come from an different place entirely. how it all comes from his ideal of strength, and of what a hero should be. i just really love that. 

12. Bakugou thanking All Might for saving him.

this is the third time All Might saved Bakugou. the first time, in chapter one, Bakugou was in complete denial. he didn’t need saving. he didn’t need anyone. how dare anyone think he needed rescuing?

the second time, at the Villain’s Alliance base, he was, again, in denial. he didn’t need All Might to come save him; even if he was happy and relieved that All Might was there, he wasn’t gonna admit to it. no way. absolutely not.

the third time… All Might saved him (and everyone at Kamino) by fighting against AFO. by refusing to go down. by using the last of his strength to defeat AFO, revealing his secret to the world, giving up OFA, and retiring for good. 

Bakugou feels guilty for this. he feels like the cause of All Might’s retirement. for getting kidnapped in the first place. for not being strong enough to save himself. so this time, he’s without denial or bluster. instead, he quietly thanks All Might for saving him, because he knows what All Might gave up to do it.

it’s a big moment of character growth for him. prior to all of that, Bakugou never would’ve done that. but the weight of All Might’s sacrifice was just too much, it humbled him. he couldn’t deny it anymore. so he sincerely thanked All Might for saving him, for the first time, quietly admitting to his weakness.

13. Bakugou giving Kirishima back the money he used to buy the night vision goggles for the rescue mission (learning about it from Kaminari), while also cheering the class up after Aizawa scolded them, by making Kaminari fry his brain and making them all laugh. 

just… what a fantastic moment of character growth from Bakugou. he felt guilty for Kirishima using his money to buy those goggles (which ended up getting destroyed during the mission), and he feels bad for being the reason why class getting reprimanded in the first place. so he fixes both situations as best he can, while still being his gruff, grumpy self. 

he gives back the money, and cheers the class up at the same time. and Aizawa totally catches onto it, too. “A farce like this has it’s place once in a while, I suppose.” it just shows that Bakguou actually does care about his class, Kirishima in particular. 

it shows that he cares his friends and his class, and i love that

14. Kaminari talking about Bakugou during the Provisional License Exam 

Kaminari mentions how the insulting words Seiji is throwing at them stings, and Sejii assumes Kaminari is talking about himself. he isn’t. Kaminari corrects him while throwing one of Bakugou’s grenades, which gives a visual cue of who he’s talking about. Bakugou.

Bakugou got angry at Seiji’s words. he charged in recklessly because he couldn’t stand the insults to UA anymore. he got upset at hearing the people he cares about be insulted. and then Kaminari goes on to say/think about how Bakugou wasn’t using the full force of his attacks. 

he was purposefully using lower-powered blasts in order to keep Kirishima and Kaminari safe. he purposefully put himself at a disadvantage just so he wouldn’t accidentally hurt them with the force of his attacks. 

Kaminari realizes this and praises Bakugou, defends him against Seiji’s words. he may not have the kindest or sweetest personality, but he’s serious about being a hero. he’s serious about keeping them safe. he’s serious about everything, and he can’t stand hearing Seiji insult him, the people he cares about, or UA.

15. Bakugou’s guilt at causing All Might’s retirement.

oh my god, save this child. save him. he completely, totally blames himself for causing the person he admires the most, the person who inspired him to become a hero, the man who’s motivated him since he was a child, to fall.

he’s just 15. he’s just a child. and he feels guilty for this, he’s feeling the full weight of it on his shoulders, breaking down from it all, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. he’s scared. he’s terrified. he feels horrible. the number 1 hero in the world was forced to retire and it’s all his fault

he’s been blaming himself for this for weeks. he’s just a child. he isn’t responsible for any of it, but he feels like he is. if only he were stronger, if only he got away on his own power, if only he did this or that, maybe All Might would still be a hero. if only he wasn’t so weak.

i love this moment, as painful as it is, because it shows just how human Bakugou is. it shows that he really is just a child dealing with horrible guilt, among other emotional issues (feeling like Izuku was looking down at him for all these years, being terrified that Izuku could one day surpass him, realizing that All Might acknowledged Izuku over him, having a superiority and inferiority complex that just exploded, feeling desperate for an answer over what he should do, and who was right in how they admired All Might (Bakugou for how he always wins, Izuku for how he always saves people with a smile, etc)).

in the end, he’s still just a child. a child dealing with so much more than he ever let on until this fight, where it all exploded out of him, because he just didn’t know how to handle them. he couldn’t bottle it up anymore. 

(i will never, ever excuse or justify any of the horrible things Bakugou did in the past. what he did was inexcusable. but god.. he’s still just a child.)

i love this moment because he’s so scared, terrified, upset, confused, desperate and just so damn human in this moment, and i love it. he’s not just an angry kid. he’s not just a violent, rage machine. there are so many emotions that drive him and i love it so much.

16. Bakugou supporting Izuku after their fight

i just…. really love this. Bakugou has had so many issues with Izuku in the past, many of them stemming from misunderstandings. as mentioned above, he thought Izuku was looking down on him. he was terrified of Izuku’s growth, feared that one day he could actually surpass him one day. but now they’ve talked. now they understand each other better. now Izuku has the support of All Might… and he can’t be losing. 

(and again, none of those reasons justify what Bakugou did to Izuku for those ten years. but they explain why he did it in the first place. i just want to emphasize that) 

to Bakugou, real heroes never lose. Bakugou is applying that to Izuku, now. he’s got the greatest hero in the world helping him, and he can’t be losing. Bakugou, in his own way, is supporting Izuku. it’s one of the biggest moments of character growth for him. for the longest time, he was terrified of Izuku. scared he’d be left behind while Izuku grew stronger. but now he’s putting that aside. 

Izuku has All Might’s power. he has All Might’s support. they both admired him… and now Izuku is being supported by him. so now Bakugou will, too.

Izuku has the greatest hero in the world looking after him. he can’t be losing now. not anymore.

17. Bakugou encouraging Kirishima

i just…. look at how far Bakugou has come. he went from being terrified of others being better than him–of not being as great as he grew up believing–and now he’s supporting Izuku (the person who scared and frustrated him the most), and now he’s actively giving encouragement and helping his friend. 

hell. Bakugou has friends now. he didn’t have any at the beginning of the series; he was to full of pride to see anything but  himself. but now he does, and he’s giving them encouragement. giving Kirishima encouragement. and he’s doing so by drawing from the Kamino incident, the very incident that gave him so much guilt and confusion and pain. the incident that probably gave him nightmares for who knows how long. 

he’s bringing up that incident to comfort and support and encourage his friend. he’s talking about how there are different kinds of strength out there–that just refusing to go down is it’s own strength. this from the kid who’s entire philosophy on heroism is to never lose. 

he’s not scared of being surpassed. he’s got friends now. he’s helping and supporting them in his own way. he’s not afraid to think of the very incident that caused him so much pain; he’s healing from it, slowly. he’s learned from it. he’s slowly accepting that it wasn’t his fault. he’s admitting that there are other kinds of strength out there, besides just winning. it’s about refusing to go down (like All Might did at Kamino). 

this is one of my favorite moments, even tho it’s so short, because it’s a culmination of Bakugou’s character development so far in the story. it’s a small moment, but it wouldn’t mean anything without the hundred or so chapters proceeding it, showing all of Bakugou’s complexities, and all of his personal issues, motivations, emotional struggles, etc. 

this moment is great because it shows just how far Bakugou has come since chapter one. he’s almost a completely different character than who he was, where he began. and that’s why i love it so much

long story short Bakugou is an incredibly complex kid and i love him a lot

related meta:

[you can find more Bakugou meta here]

Okay let’s make something clear. I’ve seen people talking about this but I think it’s better that someone who actually speaks spanish (Me, I’m venezuelan) explain this to the non spanish speakers in the Villainous fandom.

The word “Jefecito”

As some of you know, “Jefe” means boss in english, but what exactly is “Jefecito”?

In spanish, the terminations like “Cito” “Cita” “Ito” or “Ita” are named diminutive suffix, and it’s used for something/someone you consider tender, cute, little, that makes you feel heartwarmed//pity for it OR for something/someone you’re fond of or that you appreciate.

So, when you mix jefe + cito you get jefecito, practically a pet name, a name you’d only use on a boss that you actually appreciate or you’re fond of.

But why on earth would Flug call Black Hat “Jefecito” if BH only treats him bad? That’s something we can’t explain right now, because we’ve only seen 6 minutes of content and we DON’T KNOW the characters background, personalities (we only saw part of them), etc. So we don’t really know the things that Black Hat and Flug went through, how much time they’ve spent together, if they’re friends or just employer/employee, we don’t know anything. The only thing we know is that BH doesn’t hate him, because otherwise he’d thrown him out in no time.

In english one can’t truly appreciate the character’s mannerism and dialogue, since it has been heavily adapted. For example, in english, Flug only calls BH as “sir” and “boss” while in spanish he calls him Jefecito (little boss or bossy), Jefe (boss), Señor (sir), Señorón Black Hat (Sir+augmentative suffix, to make it bigger, like big sir), jefe chulo (handsome boss). Or when Flug rambles when explaining things. So that makes the eng ver to lose not only personality, but these lil certain things that tell you more about the characters.

I hope this clear the doubts you all have.

Hot Off The Press

Another AU where Jacky-Boy is a hockey player and Bitty has a job that involves hockey bc that’s my aesthetic. Anyway, I really know nothing about how the world of sports journalism works so there is probably some inaccuracies in here, but it’s an AU so who cares. Artistic license and all that. Very slightly NSFW (i just wanted to get all the warnings out there). 

***

“Are you into men?”

Jack has been asked this question before, but in such a subtle way (and typically involving Parson) that it’s easy to avoid. No reporter has ever straight out asked him. Besides, he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. So when Jack usually tells them, “No.” it’s not a lie. However, this time it feels different. Maybe it wasn’t just this particular time, but all the times added onto each other that’s finally causing him to really think about what hole he’s digging himself into.

The blunt question has him feeling panicky and the other presser notice his reaction too. Jack can’t say no, because that’s not true. He is into men. Jack’s panic quickly shifts, and now he just feels like shoving the microphones away and storming out, because this is hockey goddammit. Not E! news.

“Excuse me?” Jack clears his throat, trying to buy himself some time to think of a properly crafted response. Over the years, he’s developed a talent for that.

But everything is on overdrive and he feels his breath start to quicken again–

“Are you into men?” Another reporter asks, and it takes Jack a moment to realize that the reporter isn’t asking him. He’s asking the man who popped the question in the first place.

 All attention, including Jack’s, turns to the small blonde that got lost in the bundle of people. He holds up his mic towards the reporter who popped the question in the first place. 

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anonymous asked:

so, um. if you have any particular feelings about labyrinth--specifically Sarah--uh, go wild.

WILD PEACHES  [AO3]

.

The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast. She has to brush some glitter off the toaster—it withers and vanishes at the brush of her fingertips, and she stares at her hand for a long time. 

It mostly just looks like her hand. Even when she turns it over, and sees where she scraped her knuckles against the oubliette, where the shattered mirror cut the back of her wrist. It looks like she fell, or was playing in the street. That’s all.

The toast comes out burned, and Sarah stares at that too. Eventually, she slumps down against the cabinets and cries, wracking sobs that send her dad and Karen rushing into kitchen. They check her forehead for a fever, put their hands on her, and keep asking, “Are you okay? Sarah, please, tell us what’s wrong…”

Eventually, her dad drags her into his lap and cradles her against his chest, like he did when she was little. Her legs are too long to really fit anymore, but Sarah hugs him around the neck anyway. “It’ll be okay,” he says, keeps saying. “You’ll be okay.” And Sarah—doesn’t laugh, because she can’t, and doesn’t have the words to express what—how—

(None of her stories ever talked about this. What did Sir George do, the morning after he slayed the last dragon in England? Did Tam Lin eat breakfast, or did he sit there, shivering, wondering if his hands were different, having been claws and wings and scales?)

Afterwards, she leaves the burnt toast outside on the back porch. Not an offering. Maybe a reminder.

.

It’s Didymus she sees the most often, mostly because he’s the one who invites himself rather than waiting for an invitation. He comes for tea, but even if there’s no tea—which there isn’t, usually—he comes to tell Sarah stories. She learns to love poetry because there’s no escaping it with him. (She won’t read Idylls of the King until Brit Lit in college, but she ends up scrawling a lot in the margins; Didymus’ telling of events had been much more interesting.)

Once, she falls asleep like that, her hands tucked behind her head with Didymus curled up and sleepily reciting from the crook of her elbow. “So tender was her voice, so fair her face—though I don’t think he was looking at her face, my lady, pardon me for saying so—”

Sarah buries her nose in his fur. Didymus always smells of rosewater, and a crispness she thinks is just…the Labyrinth. She falls asleep trying to place it.

She wakes up with a wild fox in her bed, animal-black eyes frightened and flat, teeth bared. The fox is whining, and she’s tempted to throw herself across the room, to get away from this wild thing and its teeth. It takes a monumental will to keep herself still and her breathing slow, even; like she’s still asleep and unafraid. 

It takes her longer to swallow, and start humming one of the songs he taught her—a knight’s round, he’d said. She’s shaky at first, but the fox’s ears flick forward. It cocks its head, and slowly, the teeth disappear behind its lips. 

She almost laughs when noses at her throat curiously, butting its head against her jaw like a cat might.

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[ROA]

Hi there! You’re about to witness a whole lot of word dump up ahead so fasten your seat belt, hold on tight, enjoy the ride!

Note: This is an extremely long post 

101 reasons why Jikook/Kookmin is my ultimate OTP
or 101 times Jikook made my heart flutter

1) When Jungkook tries to find reasonable excuses to hold Jimin’s hands (in which he usually succeeds). Example: A decent round of arm wrestling or a hand massage.

2) It’s nice to know Jungkook isn’t the only one who enjoys the occasion; Jimin does too, even comes up with the most absurd idea (like who arm wrestles while sitting 5ft apart? and knowing he will definitely lose?) urm 128 rounds, 128 losses…

3) The way Jimin ruffles Jungkook’s hair, as if to say “You did well, baby. I’m proud of you” or the way Jungkook leans into Jimin’s touch when he pats his hair.

4) When Jimin asked for kisses from Jungkook, but he panicked and jokingly pushed Jimin away, all the while grinning like the shy boy he used to be.

5) The moment Jimin asked for a peck on the cheek on Jungkook’s birthday but Jungkook just smiled at the camera.

6) When Jungkook softly answered “no” when asked by Jimin if he likes his hyung that much. He just couldn’t resist teasing hyung because of how adorable he would look afterward.

(Time frame: 3:45-4:10)

7) The numerous times Jungkook would wait for Jimin even though he keeps on complaining about Jimin’s sloth-like pace.

8) When they strut around the airport or basically anywhere, side by side. Even when others are way ahead they would take their own sweet time.

Backstage…

After fansign…

and of course, at the airport….

9) Jungkook probably feels that it’s a part of his responsibility to make Jimin happy, so more often than not he would try to joke around and comfort the older, even if it means turning himself into a dork.

10) The glistening look in Jungkook’s eyes whenever Jimin talks in interviews. 

11) When Jungkook made Jimin wear a tiara at a fansign and called him princess.

12) The uniformity of Jimin’s Twitter hashtags when Jungkook is there with him. It’s always #JIMIN and #꾹, making it easier for trash like me to find what I’m looking for haha.

13) Jimin and Jungkook being domestic and sharing soggy cereal in one bowl, using one spoon. Also the many times they share drinks and food.

14) “I will sleep here with Jimin” while pointing at the top bunk of the caravan in Bon Voyage , which, for me, strengthens the possibility of them sleeping together in the dorm. Reminds me of this too: “Everyone, Jungkookie cuddles me to sleep”.

15) When Jungkook suddenly stepped in front of Jimin while he’s talking to apply lip balm on his lips. The hyungs’ reactions were gold. They were stuck to one another like glue the whole broadcast and It hit me hard.

16) The times Jimin said “I Love You” to the camera and Jungkook stared at him like he’s the one being confessed. 👣

17) Jungkook knows his limit when he makes fun of Jimin, always being there for his hyung when insecurity gets the better part of him and I think that’s very, very beautiful. 👣

18) It’s OBLIGATORY for me to include We Don’t Talk Anymore cover by JM and JK here. No explanation needed because I’m sure you feel the same way as I do.

19) When Jungkook waited for Jimin to complete the formation during his part in The Rise of Bangtan in Nanjing, then turned to Jimin and serenaded him.

Serenades Jimin…

Turns to fans…

20) Jungkook knows Jimin, remembers every single thing Jimin does better than the man himself. He’s quick to answer things pertaining to Jimin.

21) When Jimin fell down at Taipei airport, Jungkook wasn’t there because he was filming Flower Crew. He joined them a little while later for their Epilogue On Stage. However, on their way back to Korea, Jungkook made sure to stick close to Jimin and walked by his side until they checked in. The fact that Jungkook was there with him made me cry a little./okay lie/

22) When Jimin took a blanket and a soft, fluffy pillow and tucked Jungkook in, and made sure he’s comfortable enough. Also the fact that Jungkook didn’t even bother waking up and sleeping in the room.

23) The amount of times Jungkook and Jimin hang around with each other, usually accompanied by another member.

  • A date
  • Big Bang Concert with Hoseok
  • At the waterpark with Jin

  • Eating Ramen at Hangang with Namjoon

24) “오~갖고 싶다” (Oh, I want you) That iconic moment in Now3 need I say more.

25) When Jimin hung around behind the camera while Jungkook was getting interviewed. 👣

26) When Jungkook squished behind Jimin when Jimin got his photo taken even though he could’ve gone away and NOT be in the camera.(Fancafe content)

27) When Jimin picked up a slice of cake and fed Jungkook in Bon voyage.

28) Jungkook’s way of carrying Jimin up bridal-style during Limbo game still has me feeling some kind of way, and I will not get tired of seeing it, not anytime soon i bet. (Every time it appears on my feed I’ll stare at it for hours)

29) How Jungkook’s ears perk up whenever Jimin says something. He’s extra attentive when it comes to Jimin. I don’t know if Jimin’s melodic voice gets him or what, cause if it is, boy I feel you. Example: Run! BTS in the US, when Jimin screamed “엄마ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ~~~~” (mommy~~) because he’s scared of the roller coaster and Jungkook was like “왜?” (why?)

30) When Jimin laughs an octave higher whenever Jungkook does something funny.

31) The way Jimin sat on Jungkook’s lap and how tight Jungkook pressed him against his chest in Summer Package Dubai.

32) Jungkook didn’t bother about the fans’ parents who sat across him because he needed to make his hyung look good and that was all that mattered.

33) After Jungkook hurt his back at Mama, Jimin took care of him at the airport, gently keeping his hand on Jungkook’s back the whole time they were walking.

34) The fact that Jungkook and Jimin monitor each others’ scenes when they’re filming, waiting around and constantly giving support.

35) When Jungkook and Jimin held hands on stage.

36) The No More Dream lift that has changed over the last couple of years.

37) That moment Jimin made siren sound when Hoseok told everyone that his sister liked Jungkook. I find it cute. (Sukira)

38) When Jimin and Jungkook being lovey-dovey at Manila Airport. 👣

39) Jungkook and Jimin still had their own photoshoot even though they’re both paired up with someone else. Also the iconic “Jeomsoon-ah, please be my baby’s mom” by Park Jimin.

40) Jungkook randomly barging in and interrupting Jimin’s vlive and just….the immense amount of flirting and eye-fucking throughout the whole video…caught me off guard. 👣

41) No matter how many times Jungkook messed around with him, Jimin didn’t have the heart to say stop. He couldn’t say no to Jungkook; that’s how soft he is for the maknae. But yea, speaking quite frankly, Jungkook didn’t even try. There are million other ways to piss someone off but what he did? nope, that’s not how you do it,boy haha. (Run BTS spy episode)

42) And it took 0.000001 sec for Jimin to say thank you to Jungkook. Although Jungkook kept telling him he’s handsome, something he rarely does, Jimin still couldn’t catch on;Still became flustered and shy afterward. It made me asdfjkl. (Undercover mission in Japan)

43) I love Jungkook’s determination. Jk’s inner monologue: I have to make Jimin hyung wear this goddamn headband *gets on his back and forces him to wear it*

44) When Jungkook pinched Jimin’s nipple the instant Jimin went in for a hug lol. (Fancafe content)

45) Jungkook and Jimin have no chills when they’re seated together at fansigning events. They pay attention to each other more than they do to their fans. (don’t get me wrong they still love their fans)

46) When Jimin pretended to be mad at Jungkook for not sitting beside him at a fansign, and how Jungkook played along,claiming his current seat was his original seat when it’s not lol.

47) When Jungkook snatched the snack from Hoseok’s hand for himself, but stopped and gave it to Jimin instead when Jimin asked to be fed.

48) The various times Jimin snakes his slightly smaller hands around Jungkook’s waist and shoulder, and sometimes when it seems that Jimin has difficulty standing after putting his hand on Jungkook’s arm, Jungkook would bend to better accommodate him.

look at him tiptoeing…

49) When Jimin back-hugged Jungkook (and kissed his shoulder from what i saw).

50) The cutest nicknames they gave for one another. 👣

Ooops…

Okay pause. I’m afraid I’ll have to break it down into two parts, as seeing how freaking long this has gotten ahaha. Part 2 will be posted really really soon~~~

anonymous asked:

In ur opinion what's the camren timeline look like ? Like when'd they date or take a break whoa date and break rhyme

I’m giving you the big lines… jk, it’s basically a whole fanfic 😂

2012 : Camila and Lauren meet on x-factor - instant attraction between them but neither of them wants to admit anything - it’s just a crush at this point - they become best friends through the course of the show - Lauren is also dating Keaton at the time 

2013 : Fifth Harmony is reunited and starts touring, the friendship is still there and strong. Camren is a playful ship, they interact on twitter and don’t hesitate to show affection. It’s Camren yo!  

Camila and Lauren spend more and more time together, feelings grow and it shows on camera - I believe Camila was more accepting of those feelings while Lauren had a little more trouble with them, probably already questioning her sexuality (at this point neither of them has admitted to anything)

While all of this is happening, the Camren ship as a romantic pairing takes off and as the fandom gets bigger so does the ship until it eventually reaches the girls. Lauren gets scared because she probably feels like her sexuality is written on her forehead and she’s not ready for that, plus she’s probably scared of losing Camila’s friendship and ruining their public image. That was the time when Lauren started lashing out at the fandom, calling us delusional and stating clearly that she was not bisexual. Camila, witnessing how hard Lauren is against any romantic association with her, is very hurt ( I think at this point she already had very strong feelings for Lauren) and starts distancing herself from her (that’s around June/July). Maybe Lauren thought Camila wanted to distance herself because it’s Camila who didn’t want to be associated romantically with her, which pissed Lauren off even more because she thought “Camren” was the reason she was losing her best friend. 

They stay distant until the end of the year - Lauren starts dating Luis, maybe a way to get Camila off her mind ( there are theories out there about Lauren and Luis’s relationship being p.r to shut down Camren, I guess it’s always a possibility). Anyhoo, during that time Camila’s feelings only grow stronger, probably pushed also by jealousy and I think eventually she confessed her feelings to Lauren, which Lauren couldn’t reciprocate since she was in a relationship.

2014 : little time has passed since Camila confessed her feelings and Lauren probably can’t get her out of her mind - I think that’s the reason why she eventually broke up with Luis. Once that was done, Lauren returned Camila’s feelings and there you have it : Camren finally together!

They probably shared their first kiss, which was also Camila’s first kiss, at that time - since Camila says her first kiss was at 16 (not sure since it changes every two interviews 😂) then the kiss must have happened either in January or February.

By March/April they’re full on together, they go on “dates” - the most famous one is the 1975 concert.

They both realize they’re very serious about this relationship and slowly tell their families about it (Sinu probably knew since day one 😂) - eventually the management finds out. Of course, tiny problemo, you can’t possibly have two members of a still very new girl group publicly in a lesbian relationship, no sir. To add to the situation, the Camren fandom is getting bigger, starts its own detective agency. 

I think the girls fought hard to be able to actually stay together, even if it had to be behind closed doors. They probably had to negotiate a lot, and part of that negotiation was for one of them to have a good p.r boyfriend, and unlucky us, they’re about to go on tour with Austin Mahone aka Dorito Boy.

The “relationship” between Dorito and Camila is sold to the medias - they’re just asked to appear together outside a few times, hold hands and that’s that - but it was probably already too much for jelly Lern who decided to shut this down real quick, which is why it only lasted like 3 weeks - the break up is staged and sold to the medias as well.

Since a p.r boyfriend for Camila is not an option anymore, maybe a p.r boyfriend for Lauren will work better - oh and look who’s coming with them on tour soon, the Vamps! The p.r relationship is put in place with asshole Brad - my own personal theory is that maybe he didn’t know exactly what the p.r was for and he started actually wanting to date Lauren for real but she shut him down, probably revealing her relationship with Camila, hence the song “I found a girl” - they had to stop the p.r there, and because asshole Brad got his little asshole pride hurt he then went on to basically say Lauren was a slut in an interview with his little dicks asshole bandmates. 

Anyway, moving on. While all of this p.r is happening, Camila and Lauren try to navigate their own relationship while having to stay hidden and pretending in front of the world. Not an easy thing to do while at the same time having to deal with the pressure of touring and the fandom who’s always watching. 

Eventually I think Camila wanted to end all of it and come out. Probably by letting themselves “caught” making out or something, since the label/management would never let them properly come out. Slight problem, Lauren doesn’t want to, she’s not ready and there’s too much at stakes. We all know Camila is a dreamer, an optimist, and she tries to convince her but nothing does it. 

2015 : They eventually break up over it beginning 2015, knowing it might be the only way to salvage their friendship, for the good of 5H. They were both probably incredibly hurt by that break up.

(We enter The Hurting 😉 )

Basically that whole year was about them trying to get over each other while remaining friends for the sake of the group. That’s why we still get lingering looks, smiles and hidden touches… because who on earth could get over someone they still love if they have to see them everyday? 

A whole lot of shit also happens when Camila does her first solo collab with Shawn - she receives hate from “fans” like she’s never received before. The girls aren’t allowed to support her publicly because the perspective of a feud is more appealing to the medias so management plays that card.

Basically a really dark time for Camila, where she ends up writing “I Have Questions” in an hotel bathroom before she stops writing altogether. I think it’s a period where Camila’s anxiety really shot up and became a real problem for her, which is also probably why she distanced herself from the girls, to not bother them with her problems, and also obviously to stay away from Lauren.

I think eventually the girls went through to Camila and did everything to support her.

(We enter The Healing)

Somehow Camren found a way to really rebuild their friendship, which was always laced with quite a bit of flirting.

2016 : Lauren tries to get her girl back. And it takes a while 😂. I think they started an on/off casual kinda thing because Camila wasn’t ready to go down that road again probably because she was scared of getting hurt and also because she knows they will be in the same situation they were before, having to hide. But what can you say? The heart wants what the heart wants, and I think eventually they did officially get back together somewhere in the middle of 2016. 

(We enter the Loving *behind closed doors*)

If now Lauren feels more comfortable with her sexuality and the prospect of coming out - the problem now resides in Camila’s upcoming solo career - they already know 7/27 will be Camila’s last album with 5H. Coming out at this point in the game would be a public suicide. There’s no way in hell it’s happening. 

So instead Camila makes the deal of playing the “straight” girl image as much as the label wants if it means her and Lauren can be together behind doors.

A few months roll out, Camila’s departure is coming soon and the label needs to get ready for the “after Camila” - and the person who comes after Camila is Lauren. Now, how to make Lauren become even more popular? What could make medias talk about her? A little weed in her bag? Yes, but it’s not enough, she needs to make an impact. What could be more impactful than a well prepared coming out? Oh I know! You pair it up with a letter against the biggest enemy of the country at the moment, Donald Trump. 

But you can’t just risk that out of nowhere, you need to test the waters first, see how the fandom would react to Lauren’s coming out  - enters Lucy.

Now, Lucy has been Lauren’s best friend for years, she obviously knows about Camren and I believe she was also friends with Camila. The fandom knows Lucy, we’ve seen her with Lauren on multiple pictures, Lauren calls her her “sister”. Choosing Lucy to be Lauren’s love interest is a very smart move because there’s tons of “proofs” to back it up and for the fans to create a timeline of. Obviously the Laucy timeline will also have the benefit of discrediting the Camren timeline since Lauren couldn’t have possibly been with both girls at the same time. 

So, to test the waters, a photo of Lauren and Lucy kissing at a party is purposely leaked - the fact that the picture was taken at party is important because if the fandom and the medias don’t react the way the management expects them to, you can always say the kiss was just a kiss between to best friends who had a bit too much to drink at a party. Turns out the fandom reacts exactly like predicted, they embrace Lauren for who she is, they defend her against the people who “outed” her, she’s the new hero. That’s why only a few weeks later they give the green light for her to fully come out through a politically incline letter.

You might be wondering why would Camila, Lauren and Lucy accept such a plan? Well in Camila’s case it shuts down the Camren rumors which helps her keep her straight image up, plus it gives the woman she loves the opportunity to finally be herself. Lauren gets to finally come out and be proud of herself while at the same time protecting her girlfriend’s upcoming solo career. And finally Lucy gets to be known by the fandom and the LGBT community, putting her name out there before she releases her first album. 

So here we are, end of 2016 - Lauren is out and in a supposed relationship with her best friend, Camila is still playing the straight girl wanting a spanish boyfriend, while Camren is still together and in love behind the scenes. 

And now, it’s time to say goodbye. It’s all planned out, a feud is going to happen, Camila’s exit will be a dramatic one. Dinah leaves us little hints a few days prior, Normani cries before their last performance as a five piece and then it starts. 4 statement letters is all that everybody needs to believe everything went wrong, 4 letters is all that everybody needs to believe that a 4 year friendship ended in a day. 

2017 : radio silence for a weeks - Camila gives an interview in which she says none of the girls are talking to her, they keep the feud game going. 

Now that Camila is gone, there’s no real use for Laucy anymore and even if Lauren is identifying as bisexual, the label would rather have her being in a p.r relationship with a man - they use a photoshoot and an interview to end it simply and boost Lauren’s image in the LGBT community - which they will also do by having Lauren collab with Halsey.

Her and Camila are still together, but obviously it’s getting even more complicated now that they can’t absolutely be seen together. 

The label wants a p.r boyfriend for Lauren and Ty Dolla Sign is in need of some headlines with his new album coming out this year. Her and Camila are already having a hard time maintaining their relationship because of how complicated things are with the “feud” and Camila having to stay in the closet, plus probably other unresolved issues between them - the new p.r plan is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back - they eventually mutually decide to break up and to try to figure themselves out without the other. Camila buries herself in work and Lauren parties away the pain. When Camren shippers keep coming at her from all sides she loses it and tweets that Camren “was never real, ever” to shut them down and probably to shut herself down too.

I still think they’re in touch, they keep each other updated on their lives, congratulate each other on the new projects.

I really do hope now that they both try to be with someone new, try to heal and figure out who they are without the other. I hope Camila gets to come out once her career is well established. I hope they can meet again in a little while and actually be together in open light and finally be able to be free to love each other.

The end, until the next chapter 😂

Again this is all theory, a big fanfic - saying this to all the haters out there, no need to bother sending me an ask, you’ll just be wasting your time ✌️

Why yes, we should ring up every item.

I used to be a front end manager for a large hardware chain in the Midwest. It was early in the day (around 9 am or so) and my head cashier had called in sick so I was already behind in a lot of ways. Luckily I had a girl scheduled who was a former head cashier who had left the company and came back as a full time cashier. We’ll call her Jenny. Jenny was smart and worked hard, she was always professional and was quick with a joke. I liked when she was scheduled to work with me.

Jenny was around 7 months pregnant (and had the most awful things said to her because she didn’t have a ring on her left hand, but that’s another story) and I had given her the phone while I was trying to accomplish various tasks to set up my day.

Keep reading

Grasping the Obvious

Bucky Barnes was in love, and it seems that everyone figured it out but you. 

Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Fluff, tiny segment of angst. 
Author’s Note: Don’t you love fluff? I do. After writing angst for three days straight I could use a little fluff. Enjoy! This is 3000 words long! 

Keep reading

Drarry Headcanon

for anon (because I couldn’t wait to post this… I’m still on hiatus…)


  • Narcissa and Harry thanking one another for what the other did during the war over letters
  • Narcissa telling Harry that Draco still fawns over him
  • Harry learning more and more about the real Draco
  • and soon, falling for his personality
  • Narcissa setting them up without telling Lucius
  • because she knew he’d be going insane with even more ‘Potter Talk’
  • Draco becoming super flustered when he finds out about what’s happening 
  • because he totally doesn’t still talk about how bad he wants to be Potter’s friend
  • and how they’ve hated each other since the beginning
  • the most awkward first date
  • and an even more awkward second
  • but bonding over old stories from their days at Hogwarts 
  • them finally telling each other about their feelings towards each other during school 
  • Draco breaking down in front of Harry while telling him how bad his rejection felt
  • “I felt as if someone had ripped out my heart and tore it into a million pieces…“
  • Harry describing the guilt and pain he felt after using sectumsempra 
  • “I didn’t mean to hurt you…”
  • Them feeling they need to see each other at least 3 times a week 
  • Harry teaching Draco about muggle things 
  • Draco falling in love with movies
  • Harry putting his arm around Draco as they watch one together 
  • Draco laying his head on Harry’s shoulder just after
  • That first kiss they don’t know who started 
  • but knowing they can’t be apart for very long
  • Draco always staying at Harry’s flat
  • because he’s is afraid to live alone
  • and he’s not quite sure what his father would think 
  • “I don’t think my father will hear about this”
  • During their time off of work, they just like to hang out
  • whether that be visit the shops, make a homemade meal, play a 1 on 1 Quidditch match, or just lay in bed until noon
  • Little inside jokes about each other
  • Draco teasing Harry about his horrible eyesight 
  • “At least I’ll have you to help me around if I ever lose my glasses, Malfoy.”
  • Falling asleep while snuggled up together 
  • Harry visiting Draco at work every chance he gets 
  • and Draco doing the same for Harry
  • Him finally gaining the courage to show Harry his scars
  • Harry tracing over each line with his fingers as he feels the guilt come back
  • “I’m sorry”
  • Draco still warming up to the Weasleys and Granger
  • The Weasleys taking him in as their own and treating him like they did Harry for all of those years
  • both of them being afraid to say what’s really on their mind
  • because they think the other won’t feel the same
  • but Harry gives in first
  • “I love you”
  • Draco feeling butterflies in his stomach 
  • “I love you too”
You’re His Ex Girlfriend and You See His New Girlfriend Wearing Your T-Shirt: Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Masterlist linked in bio


If she closes her eyes hard enough, and just at the right moments, Y/n can feel Harry in Dan.

It’s quite peculiar, how she finds Harry in almost anything. It’s something she finds so riveting yet so dangerous at the same time. He’s everywhere, he’s in every breath she takes and in every move she makes, and it’s something that brings her an overwhelming sense of comfort yet an overbearing sense of instability.

Dan—an individual full of insecurities and excitement—who varies oh, so differently from Harry, can feel like him if she really tries hard enough. His arms don’t hold her quite the same, and his lips aren’t as soft and flavorful, but if she squeezes her eyes shut, and she loses herself in the memories of Harry, it’s like he’s almost back again—only in the most minuscule of ways.

Which is why, now, in this moment in time, Y/n can barely keep her eyes open.

It’s the first time Y/n brought Dan to the house, letting him stop by to watch a film after his shift. It’s a little something he’s wanted to do for a while, and after many coffee dates and many pleads from Dan, she finally took the step of being completely alone with him.

Gabby decided to go to a friends house and insisted they take their time together. It started off wonderfully; a bottle of red wine, a box of chocolates, and a bag of popcorn while they watched Jaws.

It was all wonderful, until Dan decided to make the move.

Dan is on top of her, lips connecting to hers in a lustful motion. It isn’t that Y/n doesn’t want to be in this position, but more of her being hesitant to do so. She hasn’t kissed anybody since Harry, and although Dan is one of the nicest people she’s ever met, she can’t find it within herself to keep moving any more forward.

And everything about it feels wrong.

Between all the touching, all the kissing, all the feelings within her, she can’t stop thinking about Harry. She can’t stop thinking about how much she misses him and how much she wants him back. She’s still in love with him, so much so that doing this with someone else makes her feel dirty—makes her feel like she’s betraying him.

And it’s all too much, because no matter how hard she closes her eyes, no matter how hard she tries to feel him, he’s not there, and she can’t help but seem to think that he never will be—not anymore.

“No, no, stop.” She whimpers, shaking her head in an attempt to reject Dan’s restless lips.

He doesn’t stop, however, too engaged in the moment to really understand the words stuttering from her mouth. He continues kissing her, instead, moving down to her collarbones.

At this point, Y/n starts to hyperventilate. Between the sobs daring to escape her chest and the lack of air from her previous activities, everything is straining against her. She doesn’t fully understand how she was able to get this far without it being with Harry.

“Stop!”

Her arms push Dan off of her until she’s alone on the couch as he’s panting on the floor. She can’t breathe. Her chest is tightening and her cries are so harsh that her lungs are collapsing inside of her.

She reaches her hands up to the roots of her hair, pulling back on them as she tries to gather all the oxygen she can. At this point, her head feels light and her sight is completely blurred by the tears flowing out of them—ones that she doesn’t even try to stop.

“I’m s—so sor—ry.” She hiccups, her head falling to her hands.

Dan gulps as he tentatively stands from his spot on the floor, his hands up in front of him as if in a panic—trying desperately to figure out how to fix the mess being made in front of him.

He looks around the room, as if in search for something to guide him through this situation, but there’s nothing. All the room occupies is a broken woman, sobbing breathlessly on a couch in front of him, muttering incoherent phrases under her breath.

“Okay,” he huffs out, nodding his head to himself, “It’s okay, yeah? You’re okay?”

He occupies the empty spot next to her, hesitantly wrapping an arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. In all honesty, Dan is complete shit at helping people during emotional breakdowns, and considering this one had happened so suddenly, he had absolutely no warning that he would be put in this position.

Y/n feels bad, she does, considering Dan doesn’t deserve the treatment she’s given him and surely doesn’t deserve what was once an innocent date to end up a complete disaster. But she can’t help it, and she can’t stop now, no matter how hard she tries.

“It’s Harry, isn’t it?”

His voice is nothing but a whisper, and the words that spoke out from his lips nearly brings every movement in Y/n’s body to a halt. She never told him that it was Harry who broke her heart, and to be honest, she doesn’t even find the strength within her to begin to question how he even knows of Harry—especially his relationship with her.

Of course, their relationship has been publicized for years, but Dan is a very closed-off type of person. He’s not much into music, either—another part of him that differs so drastically from Harry—and spends a majority of his time working or spending time outside rather than succumbing himself in social media.

He looks down at the rose ring wrapped around his pointer finger, twirling it around with the hand that was once wrapped around Y/n’s shoulders.

He knew the moment he saw Harry’s reaction that this ring very much belonged to him. He wasn’t quite sure why she sacrificed it so mindlessly—why it seemed to have no story behind it. But between everything Gabby’s told him and everything he’s gathered from her previous relationship, she wanted nothing more than to get rid of every reminder she had of him.

He doesn’t feel worthy enough for it, though. If Y/n and Harry don’t find their way back to each other, he feels she should at least give it to somebody that she loves, not somebody she needs to help her get over her heartbreak.

He slides it off his finger, placing it gently on the palm of his hand before closing his fingers into a fist.

“We can’t keep doing this, Y/n. Not if you can’t talk to me.” He mutters softly, “Not if you’re still in love with him, we’ll be getting nowhere.”

This makes her cry harder. She still doesn’t have the audacity to look up at him, no, how could she? After everything she’s done?

This is why she always ends up alone. No matter how in love she is, no matter how much effort she puts into a relationship, they always end up leaving her. It’s happened long before Harry, and she was so convinced he’d stay when he came around. She was so dead set on him being her forever, but the same thing happened again. He left, just like everyone else.

And now, Dan is leaving her, and although she can’t exactly blame him for doing so, it’s another wound to her heart—it’s another pain in her chest that only seems to increase with pain.

He sighs sadly at the sight in front of him, upset with himself that he’s probably a partial reason for her soul-shaking sobs and lack of air, but he has no other choice. If he stays with her, he’d be forcing her to love someone she doesn’t. He has to let her go if it means to possibly make amends with her happiness again.

He takes one of her shaking hands away from her face and bringing it towards his lap, spreading her fingers away from her palm so that he can set the ring softly against it.

She sobs at the sight, bringing her opposite hand to her mouth as she tries to quiet herself down.

“This was Harry’s, it always was. This belongs to you, Y/n, not me.”

She nods, trying her best to smile at him as a form of appreciation, but it fails miserably. He understands, though, that she cares, and doesn’t ask her any questions.

“I’ll let Gabby know to come home now, okay?”

He kisses the top of her head, the way he always does, before removing himself from the couch and toward the front door.

“Take care of yourself, Y/n. I mean it.”

And then, he’s gone, leaving Y/n alone in an empty house and her haunting thoughts. She feels the world is closing in on her, only giving her a restricted amount of air and a limited amount of light to see what’s in front of her.

She’s alone—she’s left by herself in a dark room that’s only being illuminated by the television light, where nobody can hear her, where nobody can touch her, where nobody can see her; in a place where she just can’t trust herself.

She’s left alone, as she’s always left, and she just can’t take it anymore.

Her emotions become so strong that her body collapses onto the floor, her head throbbing and throat burning from all the tears and cries. She can’t breathe, her lungs failing to take in oxygen and her chest is pounding.

It’s so bad that if Gabby doesn’t come home soon, she actually believes she’s going to die. She feels the tug on her heart and feels how hard it is for it to do its job properly—she practically feels it overworking itself.

“Oh, God.”

Gabby finds her on the floor, making her immediately drop her purse and run to her collapsed body. Y/n is a withering mess underneath her, completely drenched in sweat as violent sobs erupt from her body.

She’s quick to sit her up properly onto the floor before lifting her back onto the couch, running a comforting hand down the side of her neck as she begins to shush her down to a calm state. However, her attempt falters when Y/n shakes her head to remove Gabby’s touch from her neck.

“I can’t—I can’t—“

She tries to find words to explain what’s happening to her right now. Between the pain in her body and the feeling in her head, her brain is scrambling with so many fearful thoughts that the only thing she can truly comprehend is being saved from this horrifying feeling.

“Hospital.”

Gabby is taken aback when she says it, completely astonished by just how serious this all is. She realizes this isn’t a situation that she can fix on her own, and it makes her feel like such a bad friend that she can’t give her what she needs.

Tears fall from her eyes in panic, well aware that her friend is undergoing something far worse than a mental breakdown, but also knows that the hospital won’t be able to help her.

Only Harry can.

“Let me call for help, okay?“ She asks softly. “I’m gonna send help.”

When Harry sees Gabby’s contact light up his phone, something inside of him instantly fills with worry. He knows, without a doubt, that Gabby hates him more than anybody ever since what happened. And knowing her so well, she would never reach out to him, especially when her negative feelings toward him were so strong, unless it’s serious.

“Gabby?”

“You have to do something, Harry.” She cries through the phone, peaking over her shoulder to look over Y/n from her location in the kitchen.

She’s still a mess, holding her hand over her heart as if it were going to mend the pain. Her head is thrown over the back of the couch, her other hand running over her face continuously. Her sobs haven’t settled, only seeming to increase with panic over the unfamiliar reaction occurring over her body.

“She thinks you don’t want her and—Harry she thinks she’s dying. Her heart is so broken. She keeps saying her heart is going to fail her and I don’t—I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there’s anything I can do. She—she was trying so hard. Harry, please, you have to—you have to—“

Harry leans on his elbows over the kitchen counter, huffing out a shaky breath when he hears both Gabby and Y/n’s cries through the phone. He rubs his hand over his face, doing anything to prevent the tears nearly pooling out from his eyes.

He’d be lying if he said that guilt isn’t eating him alive in this moment. And it’s not that he hasn’t felt any remorse or any guilt since he’d broken Y/n’s heart, but he’s now fully aware that he has to look at the damage he’s done. He’ll have to witness all the pain, all the heartbreak he’s put her through, and nothing makes him feel worse.

“I’ll do anything.” He whimpers. “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I promise, I won’t keep doing this to her, you have to believe me. Just—“ he lets out a broken breath, reaching his hand up to rub his eyes to prevent any tears from escaping, “just tell me what to do.”

Gabby wipes the tears from her cheeks, yet again peering over to watch over Y/n on the couch. To her dismay, there is absolutely no improvement.

“Come here, pick her up, and bring her home. Just talk to her, please. Nothing makes her feel worse than believing you don’t want her anymore. Hell, even if you don’t—I don’t know with you anymore—just give her something. You’re the only one that can fix this.”

He sighs, nodding his head before making his way out of his house without much of a response to her. He’s only concerned for Y/n, and is so focused on getting to her so that he can prove to her that he’s changed—that he’s not the same Harry he was and is going to be there for her for as long as his life lasts, even if she doesn’t allow it.

But it’s upon arrival he realizes how much more serious this is than he thought. She’s completely breaking down, every inch of her shaking and fear written on her face. She’s a complete and utter mess, a completely wrecked version of such a beautiful, unbroken woman who had so much love in her heart and surrounded by so much love in the air.

And even though Harry knows she believes she’s going to die, apart of him believes she’s already dead. The life inside of her has burned out and is now just a product of what once was. The Y/n he always known is long gone—so far gone he almost doesn’t believe it’s her.

He looks at her with the most distraught and sympathetic look Gabby has ever seen. She has never seen so much guilt in somebody before that—no matter how much she hates him—she can’t help but feel sorry for him, too.

“Baby, hey. Hey now, it’s alright.” He whispers, kneeling in front of Y/n’s shaking figure and tentatively reaching for her hair so that he can attempt to calm her down. “I’m here now, I’m right here.”

A pitiful sound leaves her lips when she looks up at him; something between a whine, a sob, and a groan. It’s messy from her throat being raw from all the screaming and cries, and it leaves an indescribable pain that only makes her cries stronger.

She can’t even think properly, everything in her body overworking itself. It’s something she’s never experienced before, and all the fears of it being permanent rush through her veins—leaving her with an overwhelming amount of anxiety.

“She’s having a panic attack.” Harry mumbles to Gabby, making sure to rub gently over the back of Y/n’s neck. Although panic attacks weren’t common for her, whenever she was overwhelmed and stressed, this gesture always seemed calmed her down.

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t drive with her like this I—Gabby, how do I focus with her like this?” He cries, the situation in front of him making his body turn to shambles, “Especially when it’s my fault? How do I—do I keep her here until she’s calm? I don’t—I don’t know—”

Gabby shakes her head, reaching her hand over to graze his tense shoulder. She squeezes the muscle softly, almost as a sort of reassurance.

“She needs home, Harry—” she whispers, “she needs you.

He nods, choking back sobs as he brushes the hair out of Y/n’s face. The skin of her face is red and completely soaked, but this is the first time he’s seen her since the morning in the grocery store, and she’s never looked so beautiful.

“I’m going to take you home with me, Y/n. But I need you to breathe for me, can you do that?” He asks, holding her face delicately between his hands, “Breathe with me.”

Y/n sucks in a deep breath when Harry inhales deeply, attempting to rid all the anxiety and pain settling inside of her. Her inhale is broken between hiccups and cries, but as she keeps eye contact with him as she tries to calm down, a little part of her feels revived.

“It hurts.” She whimpers between sobs, referring to the pain in her chest and the throbbing in her head that just can’t seem to heal.

She watches as Harry’s face scrunches with an agonizing cry, and she knows he’s aware of exactly what she’s talking about. She’s been brokenhearted for so long, she doesn’t even think he’s the least bit shocked when she tells him her heart is hurting.

“I know, baby. I know.” He whispers as he kisses her forehead gently. “Let’s get you home, yeah? Make you feel better?”

And as much as she wants to hate him, or yell at him for everything he’s done to her and make him understand just how much of her life he’s ruined, she genuinely feels like her body is going to collapse at any given moment. She needs him, even if it’s just for right now, she has to just focus on everything happening in the now. Harry’s come back to her and she’s about to go back home.

Because if she doesn’t think about the present moment—Harry holding her, Harry kissing her, Harry about to take the both of them back to their house—she’ll never find a way to fix herself. She’ll be stuck in this anxiety and pain for far too long—so long that it could actually kill her.

So she closes her eyes, only focusing on his touch and his breath fanning over her wet face. She forgets the t-shirt, she forgets all the times he’s ignored her after declaring them to take a break, and she forgets about Jessica. At least for right now, she can focus on all that tomorrow.

She nods, and it’s then Harry notices how much more calm she is. Although she’s still crying and still incapable of speaking much from the aching in her throat, she’s breathing properly again and her once undying sobs have turned into soft whimpers.

He leans in so that he can properly wrap his arms around her, hooking one hand on her back and the other under her knees. There’s no way in hell she’s capable of walking—not like this, and in all honesty, he would much rather hold her now than leave her side for another second.

It’s when Y/n is being held so close to him again that the aching in her chest seems to almost vanish completely. And although there is still a weight on top of her lungs, and still a slight uncomfortableness in her heart, she’s finally able to breathe again.

“I’m gonna make this all better, okay? I promise you, gonna fix you.” He mumbles with his lips against her hairline, making sure to keep rubbing the back of her neck softly.

It’s a promise he intends on keeping—a promise he never plans on breaking again. He could never live with himself if he were to keep putting her through all of this pain. She’s the most undeserving person—he knows that—and he knows she’s too pure to go through all that she’s been through the past couple of months.

The car ride is completely silent, only Y/n’s cries and small sniffles filling the empty space. Although she still isn’t completely calm, she’s improved so much since he first came to pick her up and it is able to keep his mind at ease. At least while he drives.

And he doesn’t miss her hand sneaking over the console to intertwine her fingers with his. He doesn’t expect it but he also doesn’t mind it. If anything, it makes him feel better just as much as it does her.

When they pull up to the driveway of their once shared house, every bit of composure she’s withheld in her body is breaking down by the second. Her strength is wearing thin, and knowing she’ll be reuniting in the house where Y/n and Harry once had everything makes her more afraid than ever.

Harry notices her sudden shift in mood and doesn’t hesitate to unbuckle himself from his seat and walk around the car to where her exhausted figure is sobbing, slumped against the passenger seat. He sighs meekly before unbuckling her, as well, and lifting her against him the way he had before.

“Hey there, s’alright, I’m here. We’ll work this out, but you need to sleep first, yeah? Looking very pale and I know you well enough to see you’ve been lacking sleep.”

Although they both know Y/n isn’t going to respond, she wants to continue listening to him speak. It’s something she hasn’t heard in so long, and she wouldn’t even care if he was talking about the goddamn weather, she just wants to hear him again.

He keeps talking, too, because he notices the effects of his voice on her anxiety and how the muscles in her body relax under his words. He’ll stop at nothing to make sure she’s okay again, even if it means having a one-sided conversation.

“You know how you are, too—grumpy and sensitive when you’re tired. Almost take my head off if you don’t get more than seven hours. Remember that one time at my mum’s Christmas dinner party? Barely slept the night before from wrapping so many gifts that you genuinely got upset with me for not knowing your favorite alcoholic beverage.” He chuckles softly. “Funny lil thing.“

Through the nonstop crying and the frown that hasn’t left Y/n’s lips in what feels like an eternity, the first smile stretches from her lips. It’s the smallest closed mouth smile he’s ever seen, but it’s there, and it’s the most genuine feeling of happiness she’s had in so long.

When Harry unlocks the door, he wastes no time making his way over to their couch. He knows very well that she wouldn’t want to sleep on their bed, considering she’s well aware of what he did with Jessica on that bed and he wants no reason to upset her any further.

He sets her down in front of the couch, petting the top of her head softly before gathering a blanket and a pillow for her to sleep on.

He sets it up like a bed, almost, before turning to leave so that she can have her privacy. He doesn’t think she’d want to sleep with him, so he decides to sleep in the guest bedroom since he knows she’d always pick the living room couch over that room.

But before he gets too far, Y/n weakly captures his fingers in hers, pulling him back towards her.

His head snaps down to her finger, noticing the rose ring being worn beautifully on her middle finger. He almost chokes when he sees it on her, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in half confusion and half in awe.

“Please,” she whimpers, “stay.”

He snaps out of his trance at her words, slowly nodding his head as a small “of course” falls from his lips.

He lays comfortably on the couch, looking up at her when he finds a position where she can lay beside him.

“If you want you can take the—alright” he huffs.

His eyes narrow as he watches her lay on top of him—fully on top of him; her cheek nesting right where his shoulder meets his neck as her arms slither around his sides until her hands meet under his back. Her legs tangle perfectly in between his, and in any other circumstance, this probably wouldn’t have been an ideal sleeping position for the either of them. But Y/n is exhausted, both physically and mentally, and she feels this is the only position she can sleep.

Harry doesn’t mind, and easily ignores the subtle uncomfortableness in his back as he wraps his arms securely around her frame.

Although Y/n is already fast asleep on top of it, he’s unsure how he can close his eyes for longer than a blink. This could be the last chance he has to be with her in this way. He’s unsure what tomorrow holds for the both of them and their relationship—it could end entirely or create an entirely new beginning.

With the possibilities almost endless against their favor, he doesn’t want to miss a second of what could be the last of her in his life. So, he embraces the feeling of her tight hold, the little puddle of drool on the shoulder of his t-shirt, and the tickle on his chin from her loose strands of hair, because this could be the last time he feels all of that.

But he also can’t help but feel that small bit of hope still latching onto him. That somewhere—deep down—he knows they belong to each other for the rest of their lives. And that, maybe, if the universe decides that their relationship should end tomorrow, he knows destiny will find a way for the both of them again.

So, he holds her a little tighter, breathes her in a little harsher, and soaks up all the extra warmth in her body, and prays that everything will be okay.

Keeping ‘Ciel’ Alive

So now that the 2CT is true and it seems like our Ciel really took over his twin’s identity there’s the question why our Ciel even felt the need to do that. Since the real Ciel probably died in that cult the title as Earl and Watchdog should have rightfully been our Ciel’s. However, he chose to return as ‘Ciel Phantomhive’.

(I know this has been discussed a lot before but I wanted to collect my own thoughts for this; this is also in response to this ask.)

I’ve seen discussions about that where it’s argued that our Ciel may have been jealous of his brother since he had better health, was more extroverted and would have been Vincent’s successor one day. And while there may be some truth to that, I am still sure that the twins’ parents and family (Midfords, Madam Red,…) loved both children equally. Also, I believe the relationship between the twins was a good one. They seem to have been very close when they were younger and as identical twins they probably had an even deeper bond.

So I don’t think when our Ciel took over the twin’s identity he did it with the intention of gaining everything that was his twin’s only because of jealousy and evil intent. I believe there are more psychological reasons for our Ciel’s decision.

First of all, we have to consider the situation our Ciel was in at the moment he made that decision. He was a 10-year old boy who had experienced a month of terror in that cult after losing his parents and the life he used to know. And then he saw the last person he still hold on to, his twin who most likely was always the closest person to him, being killed brutally in front of his eyes.

Losing their co-twin, an identical one even more, is a traumatizing experience for every twin. And even under ‘normal’ circumstances (accident, disease,…) it’s not unusual that the survivor feels guilty for being alive.

Now in the situation where our Ciel’s twin ‘died’ it may be even the case that our Ciel isn’t completely innocent. Of course, the true culprits are still the cultists and the situation has to be considered but maybe something happened that made the cultists take the real Ciel instead of our Ciel, for example. Since it seems that the cultist have saved the twins for last they may have wanted to take the younger twin (our Ciel) first before using the Phantomhive heir as sacrifice. But it turned out differently, maybe because our Ciel somehow made the cultists mistake the twins’ identity.

Anyway, even if that’s not the case, the fact remains that the twin’s ‘death’ most likely triggered Sebastian’s appearance. Whether Sebastian really took the twin’s soul or if seeing the twin being stabbed caused Ciel to be able to summon a demon – because the twin died, our Ciel could survive with the help of Sebastian. And therefore it’s no wonder that our Ciel feels guilty as was clearly seen in that dream sequence during the Green Witch arc.

Our Ciel feels guilty for using his brother’s death to escape from his fate when making the contract with Sebastian.

In that vulnerable state during the Green Witch arc when all the feelings which he usually tries to hide from everyone surfaced he even admitted that he feels like he shouldn’t have been the one who survived.

So if he still feels that way three or now nearly four years afterwards he may have already felt like that when making the contract. He blamed himself for his twin’s death, maybe he was even hating himself for what happened. And by taking over his twin’s name and identity it may have been for him as if he would keep his twin alive while killing off his true identity which he hated.

And along with this train of thought, he probably also thought that everyone else would be happier if the real Ciel returned instead of himself (even if that’s not true). If he was hating himself for what happened how could he have thought that anyone else would be happy with him surviving?

So I guess even more than having it easier to become Earl and Watchdog, our Ciel felt guilty and thought it would have been better if he had died and if his brother had survived. And by taking his identity he believed it the best way of making this lie a reality.

It’s sad, really, that our Ciel would think so but I think this lie also helped him to cope with his guilt and made it possible for him to return to his life. As the person he once was he felt too weak and guilty but by pretending to be the one he thought should have survived that gave him strength and confidence. And once he had made that decision there was no turning back, even though each time he was called ‘Ciel’ and probably whenever he even looked in the mirror he must have been reminded of the truth. He built up his new life based on that lie, yet each time he was confronted with his past and the truth it triggered his guilt and his trauma (resulting in asthma attacks, sudden reactions and decisions or his terrified state in the Green Witch arc). Maybe that’s also another reason why he never let anyone around him too close – in fear they might discover the truth.

So now that the truth is out and the twin is back our Ciel must be shocked. The life he has built like a wall to protect himself from his guilt and hatred now crumbles down. Not only was he sure that the twin had died that day, it now also seems as if the twin wants to take revenge on our Ciel for what happened. Taking Lizzy, killing Agni, invading the manor… To the twin it must seem as if our Ciel stole everything from him and now he wants to take that back while hurting our Ciel. And since the reason for all this is that our Ciel took over his twin’s identity, our Ciel may blame himself again for everything. Only this time it may be more difficult to escape from that since everyone he could turn to is deeply involved in this matter and this time our Ciel has to deal with it as the person he truly is.

In a sense the return of the twin is not a revival of ‘Ciel Phantomhive’ since that person was always kept alive through our Ciel, but a revival of the person that our Ciel was before he claimed to be ‘Ciel’. 

Anime vs Manga: Two different portrayals of Erwin Smith

SPOILER WARNING!! spoilers from the last episode and major ones from the manga.

This post will focus on ep12 s2, “Scream” and ch51

Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Survey Corps. Hope of Mankind. The man who caught the Female Titan, saved Eren from Reiner and Bertolt, tore down a corrupt government, lead a suicide charge against the Beast Titan and eventually cleared the path to the truth about the World. Determined, creating hope for a better World free from the Titans.

That’s the Commander we know him as. A true badass, not hesitating to sacrifice himself and his own goals for the greater good. And that’s the man we see in the anime adaption. But in the manga, we also see another side. The man Erwin, who jokes around and enjoy spending time with his friends. A man who can feel despare and is dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, but keeps it secret from his dearest not to worry them. A man who feels a great guilt for the lives lost under his command.

The anime has chosen to change and cut some scenes showing the man Erwin is when he is not on the battle field shouting orders. This is especially seen in the last episode of season 2, “Scream”. We are talking about the last scene, where Erwin is lying in bed after losing his arm. In the manga, we get to see Levi, Erwin and Pixis having a relaxed conversation, joking around with each other. Also we here see the personal relationship between Levi and Erwin. They are not only colleges, but also close friends (remember that Erwin is to Levi what Eren is to Mikasa, but their relationship is a whole other post). Again, Erwin is more than a Commander, he is a normal human being with loved ones.

A moment that wasn’t cut, but changed, is when Erwin smiles after Hange telling their theory about titans being humans. The first part is the same; Levi asks why in hell Erwin is smiling, but Erwin’s answer is quite different from manga to anime… Look at these screencaps from “Scream”:

He is in his Commander mode, preaching hope to the people around them, promising them that the people lost will not have died in vain. But in the manga, he never has this speech:

In the manga, Erwin totally avoids answering and brushes it off with jokes. He isn’t the Commander at that moment. He is himself. The semi-creepy smile is often understood as coming from Erwin realising that his father’s theories about the titans are probably true (this hasn’t been in the anime yet, but we learn about Erwin’s motivation to join the Corps). His smile stems from a personal dream. Again this is Erwin as a person, not the Commander he is professionally. 

I am not sure why they changed this scene, because I see it as an important part for Levi and Erwin’s relationship and therefore also them as characters. Levi is starting to see sides of Erwin that he tries to hide. Erwin feels bad for having a dream for himself where he just wants to know if his father was right about the World. He feels as if he has had to devote his life to that because he was the one indirectly getting his father killed. He had to develop the theories further. All this about Erwin’s character is explained throughout the chapters after this, especially when he tells us about his childhood and when he thinks back on his life before sacrificing himself and the young soldiers. These moments has not been in the anime yet, so I cannot discuss about how they are gonna portray him then. But as an Erwin fan, I can only hope they will let us see more of him as a person.

Okay what is the conclusion? Erwin has more sides than being the Commander of the Survey Corps, an excellent leader whose vision of Freedom has inspired hundreds if not more to take action against the government and join the fight against the titans. But he is also a human with feelings of happiness, despare, guilt, hope. A man with emotions, who worries for his friends and does everything in his power not to let people die in vain. Erwin is complex. He is an interesting character with more sides than what most people in the series see. And I hope the anime will try and show the man he is in private, behind the facade.

strilondes & co stupid s’mores post

Karkat: his marshmallow is engulfed in flames. dave keeps telling him to take it out. this only makes him more stubborn. shut up I’m doing this my own way. he has created charcoal. it is disgusting. he’ll eat it anyway because dave will make fun of him if he doesnt. dave makes fun of him for eating it. he cannot win

Dave: he keeps making his marshmallow touch other marshmallows. except karkat’s because it is on fire. everyone regards this with benign amusement except john who keeps telling him to knock it off you damn doofus you are going to knock them off into the fire. challenge accepted. they are passive aggressively trying to knock each other’s marshmallows into the fire. in an inexplicable turn of events roxy wins. they didn’t even realize she was trying. dave blames john. john blames dave. roxy feels bad and makes them both perfect s’mores after. they accept this, begrudgingly. roxy sits between them. she puts her arms around the both of them. leans forward and innocently asks if there are any other challengers. no one accepts

Dirk: perfectly roasts his marshmallow. burns his hands pulling it off the stick. pretends that this didnt happen. is annoyed by how it is impossible to eat a smore without getting marshmallow shit all over his face. no one look at me. fuck, everyone is looking. rose is raising her eyebrows at him. jake is grinning at him. just eat it. come on

Jake: bets karkat he can eat more of them than he can. they lose track of who is winning somewhere around number nine. karkat accuses him of cheating b/c hes breaking off the graham cracker pieces outside the lines so his are smaller. jake calls him a whiny soft gut wiggler. karkat mashes a half melted marshmallow into jakes hair. they eat six more each and then bond over a mutual inability to endure even a whiff of the scent of marshmallow or chocolate without gagging for months thereafter

Rose: likes her marshmallows slightly burnt. makes fun of dave for barely toasting his. dave scoffs at her. you just like ur marshmallows the way you like your soul, black and shriveled. rose grins. why thank u dave. youre so sweet. she makes aggressive eye contact as she consumes half the smore in one bite. graham cracker and marshmallow go everywhere. god damn smores and their notorious structural instability. dave and roxy snort when they laugh. rose wipes her face with a paper napkin, balls it up and throws it at them. at least my marshmallows are warm inside. yours are cold & nasty and that’s the facts

Kanaya: doesnt super get it b/c lets face it sweets are kind of ???? when you’re a vampire who constantly craves the coppery taste of questionable liquid sustenance. she eats four anyway because it seems to be The Thing. It’s actually not the worst thing in the world. she slowly collects all the dark chocolate. these are mine. jane asks where tf the dark chocolate bars all went. kanaya looks up, a half melted marshmallow speared on her fangs, sucking the melty fluff out of the middle. it was definitely not me, she says, around a mouthful. uh. yes of course not, jane agrees. she sits back down. her eyes are v. wide. no one questions it again. kanaya privately delights at her good fortune. her story is rock solid and no one suspects her at all and now all these delicious bitter bars are hers and also half rose’s because she’s pretty sure that’s how human marriage works ?? ? ..?

Roxy: puts 7 marshmallows on a stick and creates a toasted gradient. eats the marshmallows directly off the stick. dirk informs her the noises shes making as she does this are borderline obscene. please stop. roxy makes aggressive eye contact as she eats the next one in line like a fuckin marshmallow corncob. dirk throws a marshmallow bag at her. roxy asks him if the marshmallow stick hes using has any relation to the one lodged up his ass. jake chokes on his 14th smore. jane apologizes on their behalf to everyone else present. roxy queues another 7 marshmallows, smirking

Callie: collects one (1) smore from everyone b/c she wants to try out everyones styles. she compliments them all effusively but secretly likes jane’s the best. she cant believe shes finally found this, a sweet that she can also roast mercilessly over an open flame. truly these are gods gift to cherubs. she eats them steadily with no sign of stopping. ppl begin to notice. they become concerned. they are running out of marshmallows. callie. callie we had like ten times as many bags as any reasonable group of people could ever hope to go through in one sitting. what is happening. callie waves them off. she’s still crunching away. she is Content

NHL!Bitty, Part XII -  ‘A Stanley Cup Wedding’

The Schooners win game seven and dethrone the defending champion Falconers to claim Seattle’s first national title. 

Eric was definitely not expecting Jack to propose immediately after losing.

(A rework of the ‘Game 7 PVD vs SEA’ prompt that totally retcons some NHL!Bitty stuff, so timeline-wise: the Falconers took the cup Eric’s second year with the Schooners. The Schooners win the following season.)

NHL!Bitty Masterpost




Game Seven. Third period. Eric’s running on adrenaline, blue Gatorade, and rage.

Jack and the rest of the Falconers first line are racing to catch up, but Eric is ‘criminally fast’ (thank you ESPN for the lovely descriptor), and it’s almost too easy to whip the puck to Carter and wait for the siren.

Snowy can’t stop it. The Schooners will win in regulation. 

For a brief, terrifying moment, Eric sees Morin’s breakaway as the death knell of his relationship. He has flashes of Freshman year and he thinks ‘Jack is going to hate me’.

Eric closes his eyes and waits.

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