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{Reaction} Monsta X as the Mafia

Can you do a monsta x as mafia?

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/images used

Lee Minhyuk

Originally posted by j00h0ney

It is unexpected of him due to his charming face, but this man is no innocent man. He is known as the ‘sweetheart scam,’ the one that uses his pretty face for money and secrets. He can seduce any man or woman alike into his false sense of security, and after that anyone is as good as his. He is known for gaining access for high security information from very important people, and it’s a mystery to a lot of people how he does it - but those are the kind of people that have never seen Lee Minhyuk in person, the kind of people that have never been under his intensive, lustful stare, they haven’t been conned by his tongue, he can dish out any desire that his lover wants to here for a few, vital words that could cost them a lot more than they had bargained for.

But meeting you was different, and falling for you was like a slap in the face. He didn’t know how to react, what to do - he couldn’t tell The X Clan, there was too much risk, and if any other mafia found out he felt attractions towards you it was almost set in stone that you would die. Even though he knew all this, and understood that any wrong moves could cost him everything, he still passed you by, said hello whenever he saw you. He still had hope that one day, things could be different.

{y/n}: “Back again, Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk: “How could I miss up the opportunity to see your-” *sees Shownu approaching* “Uh… you.”

Yoo Kihyun

Originally posted by klhyunnie

This man is known for his coldness, and it isn’t often that an enemy comes by him and makes it out alive. Kihyun is an assassin, a cold-blooded assassin that is behind the murders of some of the highest ranking people in the country. No one, not even in the x clan, asks him about the murders he has carried out, and even if they did, Kihyun probably wouldn’t be able to recall how many he has actually done, but he could give you specific gory details. Kihyun is lethal, and almost as high up as Shownu the leader, he has a lot of respect and no one dares to cross him.

But everyone has emotions, and Kihyun couldn’t stop himself from feeling them when he got to know you better. A part of The X Clan, you work alongside them, helping them plan out complicated procedures and worming ways out of complex situations, and Kihyun has a love for that. But his attraction to you is kept in the darkness of unlit rooms and distance between anyone else. You find yourself falling for him too, but you both know the consequence for falling in love in the business.

Kihyun: “Stay safe, I love you.” *Muttering*

{y/n}: “What was that?”

Kihyun: “w-what, I said stay safe, elephant juice!”

Shin Hoseok/ Wonho

Originally posted by kihqun

He may look sweet, but Hoseok is far from it. He goes under the name Wonho, and makes some of the biggest drug deals in the country. He’s a smart man, and knows how to get away unnoticed. A lot of women fall for his charms, but he knows how to play, and these girls are asking to be played. He has a lot of money, and lives an extravagant lifestyle. He never used to be like this, but after being poor and watching his family struggle, he changed, and now, he lives as though he’s a king and everyone else is beneath him. Everyone else except The X Clan, everyone except for you.

There’s a reason he sleeps around, not because he’s simply arrogant, but because he can’t stand knowing how he feels about you. In such a business, he would rather die than let you be killed, but being in a relationship, death for either is going to destroy the other.

Wonho: “Be careful, won’t you?”

{y/n}: “Careful is my middle name.” *grinning as you leave*

Wonho: “I love you…”

Son Hyunwoo/ Shownu

Originally posted by garisanee

This leader is anything but simple. He’s complex, and smart. He is the founder of The X Clan and has started such a revolution. He trusts little, but those he does trust hold high regard in his life. He may be a leader, and he may have all of the more important planning to do, but he is known to participate in the field too. He’s strong, courtesy of his constant working out, and has a good mind - he can take a little blood on his hands, especially when it’s for the greater good. He is highly wanted within the industry, a lot of people want his head on a stick. After all, he is known as one of the most successful leaders in South Korean history. But he never falls into the cracks, and his members are more than ready to help him and watch his back. Even though he’s tough, he gives credit where it’s due and can be the most caring person despite his occupation.

One of the members he treasures most is you, and you feel the same way about him. The two of you are together, even against all odds. You know the risk of it, but it seems as though it would be wasteful to live in fear. The X Clan are well aware of your relationship, meaning that they are all completely hands-off you, (who would want to cross Shownu, really?). You and him compliment each other, and the life isn’t ideal, but you have each other to work it out.

Shownu: “Did I ever tell you how gorgeous you are?”

{y/n}: “Plenty, but I never tire of hearing it.”

Lim Changkyun/ I.M

Originally posted by wonhontology

This man is not to be underestimated, and he is not to be crossed. He is an assassin, but never really works with Kihyun. Kihyun likes to work alone, and Changkyun can deal with either. He is perfect with his long range shots, but he’s even more lethal with a knife. If he intends to kill you, you’re as good as a dead man walking. He’s dangerous, and terrifying, and it isn’t often that his victim will escape his grasp, because he will get them one way or another. Changkyun has seen a lot of horrific things in this world, and has killed mercilessly, but that doesn’t stop him from what he thinks are flaws, his own emotions.

When he came across you, it was like an ice bucket had been dropped over his head. Changkyun didn’t believe in love at first sight, but seeing you changed that perspective entirely. He found himself falling for you, even though he tried his best not to. The two of you became closer when Shownu asked the two of uo to work together. The two of you were in training a lot, using each other to practice and gain strength. The two of you were like the dream team, god help anyone that tries to cross you.

Changkyun: *Pins you down against the floor.* “You’re getting weaker, {y/n}.” *smirking*

{y/n}: “And your ego is getting bigger” *scoffs*

Changkyun: *starts tickling you.* “What was that? What did you say, huh? How would you like being tickled - you should take it back!” *grinning*

Chae Hyungwon

Originally posted by wonhontology

Hyungwon is somehow one of the most frightening in the group. Nobody dares to cross him. Hyungwon is a man of many talents, he isn’t just good in the field of assassination, he is also good at drug deals and the sweetheart scam, he’s an all rounder, and somehow he’s gained a lot of respect from a lot of gangs, there are many that refuse to cross him. He may appear to be very cute though, his sleeping habits give him an innocent look, like he is childlike, but far from it, sleeping isn’t the only activity that goes on in his bed.

Hyungwon and you had been dating for a long time, and honestly, even though there are risks, he still dates you because he figures that anyone that tries to even lay a finger on you has a death wish. He is very sweet with you, most unlike his attitude towards his job and The X Clan. some nights he will help you with training, others he will cuddle with you until it’s 3am and you start talking about the most random shit.

Hyungwon: “I love you Jagiya.”

{y/n}: “I love you too.”

Lee Jooheon

Originally posted by wonhontology

Jooheon is the more emotional of all of the men in the mafia, but he still takes his job very seriously. Jooheon is in charge of all of the technological side and tracking, he is the one on the other side of the ear piece when other members go on dangerous missions. He can hack any system and extract any information that he wants, he is very much wanted by the government for leaking vital information. He can do whatever he wants, hack CCTV footage, top-security information and leave no trace. He is very dangerous, you’d be very stupid to piss him off. As well as this, Jooheon is handy in the field, and there’s no denying that he can be popular with the ladies in his life.

When he met you, he started to like you almost immediately, and even under the dim lights of the casino, he still admired your face as though it was in the light of the day. Even since that moment, he has been a smooth talker, perhaps that’s what made you fall for him in the first place. His aegyo is killer, but that is only shown to you, it has never been portrayed before the other members. And unlike his job, he is very forgiving and kind. He’s very protective of you, and is very careful when letting you go on missions because he loves you and that will never change.

Jooheon: “Be careful Jagi. I’m only on the other side of the earpiece if you need me.”

{y/n}: “Thank you, Jagi.”

Reasons why self dx is good from the pov of a professional
  1. Therapists/Specialists are not omnipotent. There are a lot of different mental disorders and disabilities that you could literally study for five years and still don’t know everything about. If you don’t know enough about a condition to see its signs in a person (which many therapists actually don’t because the only thing they really know about illnesses that are less common are the DSM/ICD criteria for it. However, these criteria are not enough for a diagnosis and sometimes even too vague to pick up the signs for an illness in a person. I honestly don’t want to know how many people are misdiagnosed with a common mental condition but actually have a rare one that’s just pretty similar to the common one) than you gonna miss a lot as a therapist. And many therapist do miss a lot.
  2. Therapists are biased. Therapists are only people. Just like normal people, they are not immune against stereotypes and prejudices. Because specialists hardly ever teach you at uni but only in special courses that you have to take in order to specialize as well, we actually learn a lot of stereotypes and prejudices because the people teaching us interpret the information they have in a wrong way because they don’t know more about it. A person who is currently studying to become a therapist needs to be aware of that and do their own research in order to get useful information, however most aren’t even aware of how wrong the things that they’re learning are because they have, like everyone else, the bias to trust people like professors that they actually know a 100% what they’re talking about (even though many actually ADMIT that they don’t know anything about it). This is another bias that’s pretty common in people, widely researched and again not something therapists and specialists are immune to.
    If you, for example, know that autism isn’t common in girls, then you won’t look for it  in girls and are likely to oversee the signs because you think that autism is too rare in girls. And additionally, to recognize autism in girls, a specialist needs to be aware that the symptoms show differently in afab and amab people which again, many “specialists” don’t because that’s not taught in class. You need to teach things like that to yourself or actually specialize on the condition.
  3. Literally every disorder that is known today is still being researched. And probably will not even exist like this in a few years anymore because the research might show that some symptoms are more important than those on the DSM V/ICD 10 that we have right now or they’ll maybe even find out that something that they diagnosed as one condition is actually two conditions (for example, for decades schizoid personality disorder was diagnosed as autism because both conditions create similar symptoms in many points. However, research showed that they differ in very important points and are actually two different conditions. I don’t even want to know how many people were misdiagnosed and mistreated because of that.)
  4. Therapists only have a limited view on their clients. They can’t look inside your head, they can only try to form an image of them by doing a metaphorical puzzle - they  have to look for the small things, the signs and symptoms and put the together in a way that actually makes sense and matches the symptoms of a disorder. If you don’t tell them everything - which you won’t (frankly because you don’t even remember everything when talking to your therapist or because you view some information as useless and don’t give it to your therapist that would actually be vital for the right diagnosis), - you can be sure that there will always be holes in your diagnosis. There will always be something that your therapist won’t take into account. That doesn’t mean that every diagnosis by a professional is wrong, therapists are often right. However, you know yourself better than anyone else. If you realize that you do/feel something that your therapist oversaw, than you are probably right and it might be worth digging into (even though I would advice talking about it with your therapist or someone else who knows you well enough to form an oppinion about it).
  5. Not everyone has access to a mental health specialist. (I should repeat this thirty times so that everyone gets it). Depending on where you life, you might not have enough money to afford a therapy. You might loose your complete health insurance or some of it if you go to a therapist more than three times, even if you’re not diagnosed with a condition (it’s like that in my homecountry). Getting diagnosed or attending a therapist literally makes it easier for people to instutionalize you against your will because speaking up against it gets interpreted as a person “not having insight in their own condition" by neurotypicals (even though they might have last beeen in treatment a deade ago… They don’t care, they say that the said person is insane because they say that they need treatment and when they deny it, it just prooves their point) [you would not believe how many therapists I already met who actually think like this].
    Our society is still hugely biased against mentally ill people. Getting a diagnosis can be expensive or impossible for other reasons. Not in every country you can attend a therapist without getting an official diagnosis (some people might do “off record”-diagnoisis, meaning that they confirm that you have a certain condition but don’t give you a diagnostic paper because they know how this can affect you. However, this highly depends on how the therapist is paid - if they only receive payment for diagnosed conditions, then they have no choice but diagnose you).
  6. Self-dx can be just as accurate and good as professional dx. There are a lot of free ressources all around the internet, libraries and so on that are actually written for professionals. Reading and applying these things is what maks a professional a professional. It’s exactly how you turn into a professional - your professors hand you the ressources, the rest is your own job. It doesn’t make much of a difference if you read all the books that you need for yourself or if you attend courses at college/university. The only difference is that professionals know a lot about other areas of human behavior and thus are better at evaluating how strongly it differs from normal behavior and in which points a person exactly differs. That doesn’t really have a big impact on the diagnostic process though, it’s just important for a general understanding of this weird species we call homo sapiens. If you feel better about it, you can read those ressources, too, but I wouldn’t deem it nesscessary.
  7. Self-dx actually helps improvement. If a person is not able to consult a specialist, it doesn’t really do any good for them to sit around and wait until they have the oportunity to do so (if that ever happens, which is again not the case for everyone). Because mental illnesses/conditions are just like physical ones - if you don’t treat them, they get worse and worse and worse. Mental health issues lead to different neurons firing in the brain, strengthening different synaptic patterns and thus patterns of thinking and behaving. The longer a person uses their synaptic connections, the more intense they become while others that aren’t use weaken. Not intervening means not stopping this process. And depending on how long a person has been following some of those patterns, they might take twice the time to “rewire” themselves or might even be unable to do so ever.
    It is important to treat mental illnesses as soon as possible in order to prevent further damage. Being against self-dx is being against people who don’t have a possibility to get help helping themselves which is frankly the only thing that might save them or give them the chance to live their life how they want to. Knowing about what illness you have is important in order to know how to cope with what. Sometimes it’s even essential to know what you need to cope with in the first place (e.g. my autism diagnosis… I was born autistic and didn’t know that I was autistic. The first thing I had to learn is what exactly makes me different from other people which I couldn’t know because I didn’t even know that I was different. I didn’t know what exactly made me feel bad, what stressed me out, and so on. But finally having a diagnosis, finally knowing what I’m dealing with helped me improve my life a whole damn lot.) 
  8. Self-dx is not a short process. I’ve always known that I wasn’t neurotypical, that’s for sure. However, it took me years to finally figure out which conditions I actually have and which are just results of other conditions I had. In order to do that, I needed to research everything that was somehow related to anything that I could be affected by. Self-dx takes time and extensive screening of information because, guess what, mis-self-diagnosing is just as unhelpful as professional mis-diagnosing. Only that it’s much easier to figure out if you’ve wrongly misdiagnosed yourself and went about it the wrong way than actually getting a specialist to admit that they misdiagnosed you (because therapists actually like to forget that they’re not omnipotent themselves).
  9. No one actually thinks that self-dx should replace professional-dx. Nobody actually wants to deny that professional diagnosis are valid by self-dxing. They don’t want to make fun of a disorder or “try to be edgy by having a mental condition”. Just like od-people don’t have the condition to be cool or edgy. The only difference is that od-people have a sheeet of paper that a human signed and that is saying “you have this disorder, congratulations, here is why I know”.
  10. Neurodivergent people actually know that they are neurodivergent! Everyone who has been diagnosed with anything later in life that they actually had since they were little should understand that not the diagnosis makes you have a condition but that actually having a condition gets you your diagnosis. Everyone remembers signs and symptoms they showed prior to their diagnosis. And it’s the same for self-dx people. Only because they didn’t have the chance to get a professional to check their claim, it doesn’t mean that they never noticed that they are mentally ill or in which ways they are. Neurodivergent people are not dumb. They actually know that they’re not neurotypical. So of course they start to look for an explanation, for a label in order to understand what they’re dealing with! And who are you to decide if the label they picked is right or wrong? You don’t know them. And even if it’s wrong… than they will definitely notice and not stick with it becaue “this condition is so much cooler than the one I actually have omg like autism is far more edgy than bpd”. Nobody who seriously self-diagnosed would say anything like that because that’s not the resaon you put so much effort in your self-diagnosis!! It’s because you want to know what’s going on with you and how to cope with it.
    (Being against self dx is actually further pushing the narrative that neurodivergent people don’t know that they aren’t neurotypical which is frankly such a harmful and toxic rethoric that is used against everyone who says that they’re mentally ill [because how bad can it be if you notice, right?] and those who have made enough progress that they wouldn’t consider themselves ill anymore [e.g. instutionalization, as mentioned above]. What is even worse about the rethoric is that in order to get diagnosed [and to diagnose yourself], you have to actually notice how the condition influences your quality of life. If it doesn’t have any impact on that, then you aren’t considered mentally ill. You probably all see now how this is actually the opposite of the rethoric that many people still push and believe in)

Honestly, I could probably continue this list forever, but I’ll stop now. If you feel like you have anything to add, just do it! It’s important to speak out for our self dx friends.

let's talk about Bucky’s brain

I dunno if anyone’s done this before but whatever. Specifically, I want to talk about Bucky’s brain in relation to the cannibalized MRI thing they strapped on his noggin in CA:TWS. Like what the hell is that thing, how old is it, what are you trying to do HYDRA, is this one of those weird dryer things you stick your whole head in at the hairdresser’s? They have had 70 years to perfect this technology and it looks like a high schooler’s science fair project. There aren’t even any electrodes. Seriously there should be electrodes not only because they’re kind of necessary for this sort of thing but also because who would object to Bucky Barnes looking totally punk rock with a partially-shaved head? No one, that’s who.

But I guess let’s just assume the plate things themselves are in contact with his head and transmitting the charge themselves. Okay. That’s a big area they cover and approximately zero opportunity for finesse, so they can’t localize the damage at all. And there’s still all that hair in the way. But whatever, I’ll shut up about the hair.

So the plate things are basically concentrated on the prefrontal cortex, which is at the very front of the brain, behind the forehead where the plates are located. I mean there looks like there are plates going around around the back of the head but if it only goes as deep as the cerebrum they don’t want to damage anything back there because it’s all motor skills and balance and sensory perception and language centers, all of which were vital in the Winter Soldier’s functioning. 

So yeah, the prefrontal cortex seems to be what they’re targeting, and the prefrontal cortex is for short term memory and decision making. However, it would be indescribably stupid to damage short term memory retention, so I don’t think they’d just fry the entire prefrontal cortex. Especially if it could compromise his ability to make quick, logical decisions in the field because the prefrontal cortex is important for logic and impulse control. So I would assume that they’re targeting the connections between the short term and long term memory storage systems rather than taking away his short term memory altogether. 

Basically, recalling a memory that’s stored in long-term is just the brain returning it to the short-term memory center, or the working memory, concentrated in the prefrontal cortex. From there your brain literally refires all the neurons that fired during that experience, without compromising awareness of current circumstances. So severing those connections between long and short term memory would not only stop him retaining new memories, it would stop him recalling old ones.

They could be messing with his long term memory, except there are no intracranial bits and bobs that could actually penetrate deeper than the cerebrum without frying everything in between, and the hippocampus and amygdala where long term memory is stored are in there deep. 

This picture doesn’t do justice to how deep in the brain the hippocampus and amygdala are, but it works well enough as a visual aid. You don’t want to damage the amygdala in a super soldier at any rate because that’s where the survival instincts are kicking around. Also, damaging the hippocampus on both sides of the brain would turn him into a potato, unable to retain any information at all, not even how to discharge his weapon, so you’d basically have to retrain him anew for every mission. And this contraption has clearly no finesse at all, as stated above, so I really don’t think they’d be able to destroy anything only partially or make any localized alterations.

And sure, maybe they actually opened up his head at some point in the past to get at long term memory storage, and the cryofreeze might stop that from healing, but I think the understanding of the brain was so ridiculously limited at that time that they didn’t really even know how to avoid excessive damage, and I don’t think they would have risked rendering one of their best assets brain dead. Honestly, I think the most likely thing they did was supplement the physical stuff with more traditional brainwashing and conditioning techniques.

So really, all Bucky needs to do is repair the connections between his long term and short term memory. Even with all this damage, the brain is adaptable even in normal humans. When certain parts are damaged, other parts can take over functioning in their stead. Although in this case, if the connections between long and short term memory were cut every time he went into the cryogenic chamber, he never would have stored any of the information gleaned as the Winter Soldier past the short term unless he managed to catch enough sleep to transfer those memories into long term storage before he got zapped or frozen again. So he would potentially remember everything about being Bucky Barnes fairly quickly, assuming his super soldier healing could repair those pathways or create new ones to compensate, and he would never remember most of his time as the Winter Soldier except what they wanted him to remember and let him encode before they took out those connections again. So basically, his combat training, his obedience training, and all that hydra indoctrination crap.

His old memories as Bucky would remain relatively pristine, because the more we view a memory the more current circumstances during the recollection alter it, and what you remember becomes less and less similar to what you actually experienced at the time. So instead of memories slowly changing and evolving as the person themself changes, which is what normally happens as we revisit memories and subtly alter them over time through new perception, Bucky would have this huge, disorienting, sickening divide between the well-preserved, untouched old memories of how he used to be and any new ones he managed to create as the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier memories will be less fleshed out, have more holes, be generally more ghost-like because of how they fucked with his brain and memories, so it would be easy for him to dissociate with them and to ignore them, but in order to ignore them Bucky would also have to ignore their consequences. He would be denying a part of himself. And he wouldn’t be able to deal well with their fallout, with the ways those experiences changed him, because he wouldn’t let himself examine them.

Honestly this is horrifying in its own way. All the fic I’ve read talks about how horrible it must be for the Winter Soldier to forget Bucky Barnes, but very little touches on how horrible it would be for Bucky to be all there and have a stranger in his head that he has few, dissociated memories of, but still retains a lot of that conditioning and finds himself acting like someone he doesn’t even remember being. He would feel betrayed by his own body and his own mind, doing things without knowing why he was doing them. I feel like not being the same Bucky as the one who went off to war would be so frustrating to him. Fics paint it as Steve being frustrated by the fact that Bucky’s no longer the same person, but I think Bucky himself would be far more frustrated by that fact than Steve. I think the fact that he’s not the same would bother him more than Steve’s longing for him to be the same, because he would understand that longing, share it even. I think he would dissociate from the foreign Winter Soldier part of himself, would try to bury it or force it out instead of facing it, would hate whatever memories he did retain from that time, because the Winter Soldier terrifies everyone but I think he would terrify Bucky most of all. And it would make sense, too. After all, the winter soldier was always supposed to be a ghost, the unseen threat, the silent killer, and I think, rather than inhabiting Bucky, the Soldier would haunt him, something he can’t prepare for or fight unless he’s willing to look through the dark to find it and confront it.

(All images blatantly stolen)

anonymous asked:

Headcanons for the older chocobros discovering their s/o are ten years younger then them?

Oooh~ this is an interesting request! Thanks for sending it in! <3

Tagging: @itshaejinju and @blindbae <3 (and @nifwrites because… fluff!!!!). Enjoy the fluffiness my fluffy people :D

Noctis: King Noctis has always known that you are significantly younger than him, what with your adorable ways and your happy-go-lucky attitude, but when he finds out that you’re TEN years younger than him, he gets a little worried. First of all, because he’s been wearing the Ring of the Lucii, he’s aged very quickly. So, he doesn’t look like a man who had just turned thirty- he looks and feels more like a forty year old. He starts to feel self-conscious about his appearance, and you notice that Noctis begins to dress ‘younger’ in his choco-mog t-shirt and his baggy jeans whenever the two of you spend some private time together. After noticing this happening for a few weeks, you call Noctis up on his recent change light-heartedly. However, this begins a small argument which escalates unnecessarily until you’re nearing tears and Noctis is frustrated beyond belief. He mentions breaking up, because he’s under the impression that you’re just with him because you haven’t known or experienced romance with any other man. After all, you’re only twenty years old- just barely an adult. You immediately shake your head, tears falling down your cheeks quicker than previously before. You taste the salt on your lips and you sniffle loudly as you grab Noctis by the collar and haul yourself into his warm chest. You wrap your arms around his torso and press your nose against his defined pectoral muscles before shaking your head repeatedly, desperate to get your adamant refusal across to your older boyfriend.

“I don’t care about your looks- you’re the only man I’ll ever look at. I love you. Only you. Forever, it will always be you.” Noctis leans forward at your words and places a chaste kiss on your temple before nuzzling gently into your soft locks.

“Sorry. Yeah… okay. I love you too, y/n.”

You frown. “You don’t sound so sure about that, your majesty…”

Noctis smirks down at you before planting a passionate kiss on your lips, grunting softly as you pull him in closer to deepen the kiss. You’re both panting by the end of the kiss and you’re both smiling into each other’s eyes, absolutely love struck.

No further words are needed. The love between the two of you is strong- even with the age-gap. After all, age is just a number!

Prompto: Prompto thinks that you’re like him- thirty years old with a twenty year old mentality. He likes the way that you seem to be mature at one moment, and then break into unexplainable giggles the next. He enjoys going on random photo expeditions with you, and he absolutely adores the impromptu photo shoots that you beg him to take you on. Prompto has always thought you were somewhere close to his age. But when he finds out you’re a whole ten years younger than he is, he takes a second to let the fact sink in before approaching you bashfully and confronting you head on about the matter. When he asks you why you hid the fact from him for so long, you merely shrug and deny that you were hiding your age from him. You explain that your age never really came up and you had assumed that he was okay with the age difference. Your voice hitches slightly in your chest, your fragile emotions revealing to Prompto your true age, and he immediately shakes his head in regret and takes you into his warm, loving arms.

“No, no! Don’t cry- I still love you all the same! Age is just a number! And you’re so mature sometimes for a twenty year old- really! When I was twenty, I was fumbling and bumbling all over the place! You’re so amazing, y/n!”

You sniffle and hold onto your older boyfriend tighter, unwilling to let go after the break-up scare you’d just given yourself. “Really?” you ask, your voice coming out as a whimper. Prompto pulls your head up by the chin and places an insistent kiss on your tear-stained lips, licking his own lips as he pulls away and smiles down tenderly at you. His clear blue eyes are filled with adoration, and you know that his words are true.

“Really. I love you, baby.”

You smile up at him, your eyes full of adoration and warmth. You absolutely love this man.

“Thank you, my sunshine, I love you too.”

Gladio: Gladiolus has had his suspicions about your age, but he hasn’t really tried to investigate those suspicions. He was pretty sure you were of legal consenting age, and he didn’t want to make things awkward between the two of you, given that your relationship with Gladio was still pretty fresh. However, when you start to drag him along to meetings and casual hangouts with your same-aged friends, Gladiolus decides to speak up about the age difference.

“Hey, babe?” Gladio asks you, all of sudden. You stop chatting with your friend via text message and shoot your boyfriend a curious glance. You’ve noticed the way Gladio’s shoulders have tensed, as well as the way he’s staring at you so seriously with his warm amber eyes. Something about his demeanour doesn’t sit with you well, and you gulp out of nervousness.


“How old are you?” your jaw drops at Gladio’s question, and Gladio immediately shakes his head, reaching out to hold your clammy hand in his large, warm palm. “Hey, I’m just curious. I feel like I should know how old my baby girl is- I’d be a pretty shitty boyfriend if I didn’t know-”

You shake your head and interject, your voice panicked. “That’s not even, like, important! Like, nothing would even change if I did tell you my age, right? You won’t break up with me if I’m… too young, or too ancient for you or something, right?” your voice wavers, despite the smile you’re trying to wear on your face. Your palms start to sweat profusely and Gladio clasps at you hand, his grip warm and safe.

You didn’t want him to ever let go. But… if he knew your actual age…

Gladio frowned at your hesitance and immediately pulled you towards his chest, murmuring softly into your ear with his gravelly voice- his facial hair ticking your soft skin. “Baby, I’m not trying to break up with you or anything. I just want to know because… I just feel like it’s something that I need to be aware of.”

You stare up at Gladio and find yourself pressing a kiss below his ear before sighing sadly and grasping onto his jacket, feeling hints of his bare skin pressing against your clothed torso. “Twenty four…”

Gladio pulls away, his eyes wide. “Ten years… are you sure you want to be with an old dude like me?” Gladio asks, his tone full of uncertainty. Your eyes tear up at the hesitance in Gladio’s usually confident voice, and you nod your head resolutely. You lean up and place a lingering kiss on your older boyfriend’s lips, smiling slightly through your happy tears as you felt him press his lips tenderly against your own.

“Yes. It has to be you, Gladiolus Amicitia. I love you.”

Ignis: Ignis is troubled by the fact that you always dodge around his questions about your age. Given that his eyesight is pretty much non-existent, he’s not able to gage just how old you are by appearance alone. Although age doesn’t really matter to him, Ignis doesn’t want to be seen gallivanting around with a minor- that would definitely not look good for the royal advisor. So he asks you about your favourite music, your favourite food, your favourite art style, your favourite pop icon- anything that can give him information about your age.

Based on what you have answered so far, he believes that you are a few years younger than he is. But he wants to know for sure. He wants to know for certain just how much younger you are. And so he instigates his plan, late in the evening when only you and he are present in the common room of your apartment complex.

Ignis Scientia purposefully sits close to you, his thigh against yours, and his hand gently resting on your bare knee. You’re wearing sleeping shorts and a thin tank top because of the Lestallum heat. Ever since the light had been restored by King Noctis, the meteor nearby had been letting off a lot of heat. So now, even the nights were terribly humid.

Ignis traces his bare fingers along the tops of your thighs gently as he leans his head against your shoulder and sighs out loud. “I feel terribly worn out, y/n.”

You frown and tilt your head towards Ignis’, plucking his protective glasses off his eyes and smoothing down the healed scarring on his eyes with your fingers. You lean forward and press a soft kiss against his old injuries before nuzzling against the side of his head with your nose.

“How so?” you ask quietly. Ignis shrugs his shoulders and buries his face further into the crook of your neck, inhaling the fruity scent of your favourite soap and shampoo.

“I feel like I cannot keep up with your youth and vitality. I forget my age sometimes, you see. Apparently, I feel that I’ve forgotten yours too. Would you remind me of that small fact once more, dearest?” Ignis takes a small breath, noticing that you have stopped moving… and your breathing is very quiet. Ignis lifts himself off your body and smiles gently over to where he believes you are. “Y/n?”

You’re eyes are wide and your mouth is wide open. You weren’t expecting Ignis to ask about your age. You didn’t want to tell him- someone so amazing, resilient, charming, intelligent and mature would surely break up with you the moment he realised just how young and inexperienced you were. You gulp and grab Ignis’ hand in your own before squeezing gently.

“It’s rude to ask.” You say simply. Ignis sighed and shakes his head, bringing his hand up to his eyes in an uncharacteristically pitiful gesture.

“I know but… I can’t see you, so I can’t even dare to estimate your age. I just want to know because I want to love every little thing about you, dear. Please?” Ignis pleaded with you. You shut your eyes tight at his request before clenching and unclenching your fists.

You don’t know why you’re on Ignis the next moment, but your mouth finds its way onto his, and he grunts in surprise at the sudden onslaught of open mouthed kisses being delivered to his mouth by yours. He reciprocates, timidly at first, before you let out a soft moan of want. This has Ignis taking you into his arms and deepening your kisses, his tongue mingling with yours in a sweet dance. You sigh against his lips and pull apart from him reluctantly, staring at his awestruck face.

“Darling… what was that for?” Ignis asks you, his voice incredibly low and confused.

“I’m twenty three.” You admit, planting a kiss on Ignis’ jaw line. Ignis sighs in contentment and runs his hands through your soft locks.

“You certainly have the energy of a twenty three year old. I am a lucky man.”

You smile, tears filling your eyes in relief of his mellow reaction. “Thank you.” You gasp, pressing your face gently into the crook of your boyfriend’s neck. Ignis smiles against your cheek.

“I love you, dearest.” You sigh in contentment and press a kiss onto Ignis’ lightly freckled skin.

“I love you too, Iggy.”

Living With You

read on and ao3

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen

rating: t+ for sexual joking, swear words, and violence

pairings in this chapter: nalu, gruvia

characters in this chapter: natsu, lucy, juvia, gray

reblogs are appreciated <3

Waking up early for once, Lucy was excited to find that Natsu was not in her bed. The twerp had finally decided to respect her space after he had both slept next to her and ran into her while she wore a towel.

Not that she minded him sleeping next to her, of course.

She enjoyed having him next to her while she slept, and although it wasn’t a familiar feeling, she liked the idea of having someone sleep next to her while she was in her most vulnerable state. Someone to protect her and be ready to fight whatever came her way. And that definitely described Natsu.

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Third Wheel

It’s late to the party, but here’s my submission for Round 4 of The Great Fic Writer Scavenger Hunt

A week into Dean and Cas’ newfound relationship and Sam’s only just managed to find peace. He’s not sure what part is worst. There’s the way their voices still get all dewy when they call each other “partner” in their public, fake FBI capacity. Or how Dean goes out of his way to feed bits of his meal to Cas. They ought to sit together on one bench, but nooooooo, Cas wants to see Dean’s eyes. Then, of course, there’s the litany of “sounds Sam should have gone his whole life not hearing” thanks to paper thin motel walls.

Still, of all the awful, terrible things, the absolute worst, Sam suspects, is the incident of last night.

It had been late, Dean had been driving, Sam asleep in the front seat. Earlier in the day, Cas had been sitting shotgun, but he’d offered it to Sam so he could stretch out and sleep. Which, for the record, Sam had been doing.

Until he woke up with Dean’s hand trailing up his thigh.

It’s hard to say which of the Winchesters were more mortified by the mix-up. Dean, of course, had snatched his hand away, but Sam decided to wrap his jacket over his legs. Just in case.

Thankfully, as horrifying as the incident was, it had fueled Sam’s argument that Dean and Cas should work a case alone. Sam could stay in the Bunker, work the research angle, and get a quiet night’s sleep for the first time in a week. Dean and Cas would be free to engage in whatever activities they saw fit after the hunt had ended.

Dean agreed and, the next day, he and Cas were trekking off to Idaho to handle a couple werewolves.

Sam’s loving the peace. So far he’s gone on an uneventful grocery run, eaten out without attracting a single strange look, actually managed to get some viable research done and had a blessedly quiet night’s sleep.

Of course, that’s when Cas calls.

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Fact-Checking Maki

Now that we know Maki’s primary motive in tri., it’s easy to lean one way or another as far as her trustworthiness. But why go off a gut reaction or what other characters are saying about either her or the statements she’s made to the Chosen? Let’s go back to movie 3 and do some fact-checking!

We’re going to focus on Confession because this is the first time she fully conveys information to the Chosen and their partners. Prior to that, the only ones she can potentially deceive are Daigo and the bureau (we don’t hear her conversations with Meiko). Those may become important, but she says so little in movie 1 and isn’t specific enough in movie 2 to warrant a deeper analysis. Yet.

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so we got a little peek at major’s family, which reminds me… where the fuck is liv’s??? like the s1 cliff hanger was literally her brother dying and then we just never see him or liv’s mom again?? like i know her mom was PISSED and told liv to leave them alone but? it’s like they never existed?

Whatever it Takes- Part 2

Can’t Refuse

Part 1

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2098

“It’s open.”

A shiver hurtled down Jungkook’s spine as the intercom promptly clicked off. He couldn’t tell if the chilling effect he felt was due to the knowledge of who the voice belonged to or if it was simply because of how much presence radiated from the sound alone. Regardless, he didn’t want to keep the voice waiting; with shaking hands, Jungkook began to push the door open.

It was heavier than he anticipated. The frail wood of his apartment door felt like a plastic toy compared to this, and he shamefully had to make a second attempt to open it properly.

Neon echoes of the city lights drifted through the deepening colors of evening into the enormous windows that looked down on the streets, barely illuminating the room with a soft, eerie glow. Only a few of the interior lights were set to a dim shine while the others sat in darkness, and their combination with the dying vitality of mixing neon created a strange haze of illusion.

“Heavy?” The voice spoke out, amusement just barely evident in its tone. Jungkook’s eyes finally adjusted to the dark atmosphere, and he saw a figure lounging in a padded chair at the far end of a long mirrored table. The reflection of the melding lights only added to the visual confusion.

A tailored suit of dark silk that was probably worth millions of won elegantly clung to his slim figure. He was tall with long, slender limbs in perfect proportion, his eyes held sharp observation and intelligence, and his voice, uninhibited by a curtain of technology, carried such immense weight and command that Jungkook felt the need to listen closely to every word spoken to him. The hint of playfulness in the gaze that met his eyes flustered Jungkook, and he struggled to find proper words in embarrassment from his failure at opening the door.

“Make yourself comfortable. Have a seat, Jungkook,” the man said, gesturing to the chair placed at the opposite end of the table. The sound of his own name rolling off the stranger’s tongue was seductive, and he found himself drawn into the voice even more as he sat down on the plush cushion of the chair.

He was frightened.

“Was the ride pleasant?”

Jungkook could only nod. He wished with all his heart that the friendly driver could be here next to him and calm his nerves.

“There’s one thing that isn’t included in the information files of my tenants,” Namjoon continued, “granted I generally don’t care for this, but with you, Jungkook, I would love to become familiar with it. Do you know what that might be?”

Jungkook shook his head and kept his eyes down.

“Your voice. What does your voice sound like?”

“U-uhm…s-sorry, I-I-”

Namjoon chuckled. “No need to be nervous.”

“S-sorry, I don’t, uh, I-I’m not really sure h-how I’m supposed to address you…sir?”

“‘Sir’ is fine.”

There was a heavy silence and the pressure was nearly palpable to Jungkook. He could hear his blood racing in his ears, and he was sure that his pounding heart was clearly audible to the man before him.

Namjoon had such a powerful presence that demanded utter awe and respect; it shrouded him with an aura of regal importance. Jungkook felt so small and insignificant and he nervously pat his hair down in an attempt to make himself more presentable.

When he looked up, he saw that Namjoon was staring at him, the smallest hint of amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth that Jungkook debated if he was actually smiling or not. His eyes darted away quickly, but he could still feel the pressure of the attention Namjoon was giving him.

What was he supposed to do?

Namjoon cleared his throat, breaking the silence, and Jungkook let out a breath he didn’t know was holding.

“I’m sure you aren’t completely aware of why you’re here?”

“I’m sorry, I-I-I really don’t know…”

“That’s fine, I will explain. I’m sure you know that both your parents and your uncle were tenants of mine?”

Jungkook nodded.

Namjoon folded his hands and leaned back in his chair a little. “I can only imagine how hard your living conditions have been after your parents passed away, and your uncle didn’t exactly provide the most friendly environment due to his…destructive habits.”

“How do you know this?” Jungkook blurted out, fearfully looking up at Namjoon, who was watching his every move.

“Because I was his supplier…for a time.”


“Most of the drugs he was on were essentially supplied to him by me through the chain of command and dealers and such.”

Jungkook sat in shock, staring at Namjoon, who explained all of this so casually as if he wasn’t actually involved in something so illegal. Jungkook could only swallow down his bewilderment and guess that with enough money, getting away with this was more than feasible. Namjoon continued, aware but unaffected by Jungkook’s less than subtle reaction. “His issues with refusing to pay his debt is what caused me to become somewhat familiar with him, and that’s why I’ve brought you here. I understand that your uncle’s death must have been quite jarring-”

“No,” Jungkook interrupted him. “It really wasn’t. I saw it coming for years, and he wasn’t gonna change, so I accepted his death a long time ago,” he said bitterly.

Namjoon looked surprised at his confession. “Well, then I suppose we can skip the condolences.”

“Please do.”

Namjoon smirked. “Then let’s talk business.”

“Business…” Jungkook repeated.

“As we’ve established, your parents were also tenants. They were in deep debt by the time they died, trying their best to keep your uncle afloat. Honestly, I think they were too kind, and their kindness has consequences now. Once they died, your uncle inherited their debt when he became your ‘guardian,’ so to speak. Now debt is an interesting thing. In the real world, the more debt you accumulate, the more interest it compounds, creating a nasty spiral of lifetime financial issues that can easily bleed into following generations. I’m sure you’re aware of this.” Jungkook nodded slowly. He was getting uneasy. There was something foreboding about this conversation and he half wished that they were still working on condolences.

“Now that your uncle has died and you are of legal age…I’m afraid you’ve inherited the three hundred million won consequence of your parents’ kindness.”

Jungkook sat in dumbfounded silence.

Three hundred million won.

The culmination of his parents’ debt, his uncle’s addictions, and the cruelty of a world revolving around money and power.

It was his burden now.

Jungkook was sobbing into the floor. He had tried to stand up and run away from Namjoon. This couldn’t be happening. Life was already hard enough. He tried to get away, but he collapsed, denial and reality clashing inside his mind to create a vicious maelstrom, rendering his body unable to support itself. A warm hand lightly rubbed the back of his neck, and Jungkook seethed with hatred. He smacked the hand away, wishing that he was alone with Yoongi, blissfully ignorant and safe, warm under their blankets. He wanted to feel Yoongi’s fingers to run through his hair. He wanted to hear his voice soothe him to sleep, Yoongi’s kiss ghosting over his lips at the edge of unconsciousness where Jungkook wasn’t entirely sure if was real or a dream.

But Yoongi wasn’t here.

Jungkook was cold and alone with this stranger. He felt humiliated that he was crying in front of this man, but he had nothing, nothing, that was worth that much. He had a minimum wage job, and it would take a lifetime and more to pay it off.

“How? How can I do this? I don’t have anything to-”

“Jungkook.” Namjoon’s stern tone cut him off and Jungkook looked up at him in fear.

“Please, p-please, sir,” he begged, “compared to your profits my debt can’t be that m-much to-”

“Business is business, and debt is a loss of profit,” he said, void of all emotions.

“I wouldn’t be able to pay this if I worked my entire life! I only get minimum wage and-”

“You can pay it off in eighteen months.”

Jungkook felt like dead weight. He lost all hope, and he was certain he was in the presence of the Devil. This man in front of him was going to ruin his life and Yoongi’s life. What was he supposed to say when he got home?

Jungkook lost it. He burst out screaming and crying all over again.



Namjoon grabbed his face and forced him to look up at him. Jungkook hiccuped in surprise, tears still streaming down his cheeks as he was pulled into a kneeling position. Namjoon’s gaze bore into Jungkook and he felt like he was under heavy scrutiny. He watched Namjoon’s eyes slowly scan his features, examining the curve of his cheeks to the tip his nose, lingering just slightly over his lips. Jungkook licked them nervously.

“I believe you misunderstood what I said.”


“I said that you can pay it off in eighteen months, not that you had to.”

Jungkook racked his brain, desperately trying to find the solution Namjoon had come across. “I don't…”

Namjoon let go of his face but maintained piercing eye contact. “You’re worth at least one hundred fifty thousand won an hour, but I’d give you a price tag three times that amount.”

“I-I don’t understand…I wash dish-”

Namjoon grabbed a fist full of Jungkook’s hair and pulled his head back swiftly. Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat, and his lips parted involuntarily at the sudden force. Before he could register what was going on, Namjoon was kissing him roughly, pushing his tongue into Jungkook’s mouth.

It took two seconds for Jungkook to process his situation, and another two seconds of struggle to shove Namjoon away.

“No! What the fuck?! I’m NOT going to become your personal prostitute!” he yelled in disbelief, finding the strength to pull himself back on his feet. He furiously wiped his mouth, feeling completely defiled by the kiss and what this pervert had implied. 

He continued to glare at Namjoon as he stood up to meet Jungkook’s height. He was taller, but Jungkook wouldn’t back down. Namjoon shrugged, as if unaffected by the harsh rejection. “Then I suppose, you’ll find a more suitable way to pay your debt,” he said with indifference and returned to his chair, watching Jungkook go to war with himself over the realization. “Without a doubt, you’ll end up having to sell that pretty face and tempting body of yours to make enough money to scrape by. You’ll get plenty of customers, don’t worry,” Namjoon said with a smirk, and Jungkook flushed in humiliation.

“But that’s not very safe, is it? You’ll probably contract a disease or two and visit jail a few times while interest builds up.” Namjoon watched in satisfaction as the fight left Jungkook’s eyes. “You could sell yourself until your youth has been long gone and you become older and unappealing to the eye. You’d still be in debt.” Jungkook was shaking. “With me, I’d pay you four hundred fifty thousand won per an hour. Eight hours a week, for about eighteen months, you’d still be around twenty million won short, but I’ll be generous. Good luck finding someone who will pay you for what you’re worth. At least I’m only one person and not thousands, but suit yourself.”

Jungkook hung his head in defeat, realizing that he wouldn’t find another deal remotely as gracious as this one. Tears began spilling from his eyes again. “I…I-I haven't…I never had…”

“Then I’ll pay you extra to compensate for your loss,” Namjoon said apathetically, as if negotiating a minor compromise before continuing. “I will contact you when I desire to see you. You will then give me your location, and a driver will pick you up. You can decide how many hours you wish to stay, and we’ll go further into detail during our next meeting. Now,” he stood up and pulled out a small stack of papers from a folder on the table and made his way over to Jungkook’s side. “Sign these. It’s our official contract.” He handed Jungkook a pen. Jungkook slowly took it with shaking fingers and placed the tip on the very first line.

This man would take everything from him. His time, his money, his body. There wasn’t anything left to lose.

Jungkook began signing.

Part 3


General tips for studying and for during the exam

  • Timed practice exams - Practice exams are the absolute best way to prepare for the ACT. Since each section of the ACT is timed, you should take many practice tests and time yourself to determine your strengths and weaknesses. There are many free ACT practice tests available online and there are also books available with practice tests in them. 
  • Answer EVERY question - There is no penalty for guessing, so definitely make sure you answer every question to get as many points as possible.
  • Learn the tricks - The ACT doesn’t test your intelligence as much as it tests your ability to take a test. I will give you some tips for each section of the ACT below. 
  • Use ALL the time given to you - I don’t care if you finished twenty minutes early and you already checked your answers. Check them again. While the ACT isn’t going to determine the rest of your life, it is very important for the next chapter of your life: college. Just buckle down and use all the time given to check and recheck your answers. Reread the excerpts given to you. The students who do best on the ACT aren’t the ones who finish early and take a nap. 


English is arguably one of the more difficult sections of the ACT because many people truly don’t know grammar very well. Here are some tips to help you improve your english score:

  • Revise grammar rules - This section is primarily going to be you identifying the sentence with correct grammar. This will be very difficult for you if you don’t know the difference between a comma and a semicolon. 
  • If you aren’t sure, the answer is probably the one with the least commas and changes - The writers of the ACT like to trick people by including sentences with entirely too many commas or additions. Usually, the correct sentence will be relatively simple. 
  • Vocabulary - Vocabulary isn’t a HUGE part of this section, but there will be a few questions that require you to know the difference between homonyms, so you should be aware of this and study accordingly. 


The challenge of the Reading section of the ACT is your time limit. If you aren’t a fast reader, you’re going to have trouble. 

  • Read the ENTIRE story/text - So many people will tell you it’s okay to just skim a story or only read the sections you’re directly being asked about. This will cause you to run into trouble. If you don’t read the entire thing, you’ll miss vital information that may cause you to miss a question. 
  • Practice tests are incredibly important! - Like I said before, one of the most challenging parts of the ACT is the fact that it’s timed. The reading section is a section you REALLY need to practice with a timer, because you will not be able to read this stuff at a leisurely pace. You need to be focused, alert, and able to comprehend what you’re reading. For science, you need to be able to read not only normal text, but graphs as well. Practice diligently so that you are able to easily recognize different kinds of graphs and determine what they mean. 
  • The answers are all there; you just need to find them - Reading and Science aren’t like the Math and English sections; their answers are all there for you. All you have to do is practice well enough to be able to find them all quickly. 


Many people don’t know how to approach the Math section of the ACT. They worry that they need to memorize a million equations or worry that they need to review the past 3 years of math. You don’t! They give you all the equations you’ll need so you just need to be able to apply them. Here are some other tips for this section!

  • If two answers are opposites, one of them is almost always the answer - This is true for the ACT in general, but primarily for math.
  • Don’t overthink it - Many of the questions you will face will not be as challenging as you think they are; you’re probably just overthinking it. Go with your gut and move on. 
  • Don’t memorize equations - all equations will be given to you, so you need to focus on knowing how to use the equations. 
  • Don’t waste time on questions you don’t understand - There comes a time when you need to just accept that you don’t know how to do a question. When this happens, just make an educated guess if you can, and move on. 
  • Don’t panic! - The Math section is going to be short. Much shorter than you want it to be. Don’t panic or let yourself spend too much time on any question or you’ll end up wasting time. 


Standardized testing is highly problematic. Those who do best on the ACT or SAT have been afforded good educations that have prepared them well for this exact kind of test. Not everyone has had the same opportunities and possesses the exact abilities to do well on a test like the ACT. While it would be great to get a 30 or higher on the ACT, this isn’t a realistic goal for everyone, and it isn’t even necessary to get into a good school. Unless you want to go to a highly selective school, you don’t need a 30 on the ACT. It doesn’t make you dumb or bad at studying if you don’t get a 30+; it just means that maybe you aren’t a fast reader or your school didn’t spend a lot of time on ACT prep. That’s okay! Getting a 30 or higher on the ACT places you in the top 5% of all test takers- so don’t think that you aren’t intelligent if you didn’t score that high, because it is quite difficult to score that high! 

Android AU: Lunafreya - Ardyn

(rest of Lunafreya, and Ardyn under cut because it’s long)

Mental Health Assistant Series: Oracle
Model: Lunafreya (ST11a N0X 2.0)

  • you see her every time you go to the veterinarian but never talked to her in person
  • you thought she was just a basic receptionist android, put there to look nice and cover for the human receptionist whenever they leave the front desk
  • until the day you have to put your beloved pet to sleep after a long battle with sickness
  • the doctor allows you to stay with your pet as long as you need, and sends Lunafreya to sit with you
  • she smiles softly and asks permission to stay with you, you’re all alone and have nobody to support you through the ordeal, so you let her
  • she answers all your questions, medical and not, with an understanding smile and glossy eyes

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What are Chakras?- Chakras are a 7 equal centers of energy that lie on our bodies mid-line. They govern our psychological properties, the lower chakras are more instinctive while the higher chakras are more our mental side. 

First Chakra-  The Muladhara or Root chakra is located at the base of our spine at the coccyx and associated with the color red.This chakra, that connects to the Earth, gives us vital information about whether actions we are considering will nourish us or pose a threat, as well as our basic survival needs and our sense of belonging. When flowing freely we feel secure and confident. If this chakra is blocked or under-active you may be subject to anemia, depression, lower back pain, sciatica, anxiety, frequent colds as well as cold hands and cold feet. There are many ways to stimulate this chakra such as physical exercise, restful sleep, gardening, Red gems, red food & drink, and using red oils like ylang ylang and sandalwood.

Second Chakra- Svadhisthana or Spleen chakra is found below the navel in the lower abdomen and is represented by the color orange. Creativity, feelings, and birth (not just as in newborns but as ourselves, ideas, and aspects) When this chakra is healthy we are tapped into a higher power that boosts creative energy. A blocked or under-active Shadhisthana can bring depression, lower back pain, high susceptibility to alcohol and drug abuse, eating disorders, impotency, asthma, and urinary problems. Engagement in water aerobics, embracing sensations, use of hot aromatic bath salts, orange food & drink, or wearing the color orange, or the use of orange oils like melissa all work as excellent stimulates the cure a congested Shadhisthana chakra.

Third Chakra- The Manipura or Solar Plexus chakra is located above the navel in the stomach area and is linked to the color yellow. Self esteem, sense of personal power, self control, and humor stem from this chakra. When active and healthy we are confident in ourselves, intentions, and our desires. However when blocked poor memory , frustration, feeling powerless, ulcers, constipation, nervousness, hypoglycemia, and toxicity are sure to ensue. To cleanse this chakra reading infromative books, taking classes, doing mind puzzles, detoxification programs, eating or drinking yellow foods and liquids, wearing the color yellow, and the use of yellow oils like lemon or rosemary are advised.

Fourth Chakra- Anahata or Heart chakra is symbolized by the color green and is located in the center of the chest. Love, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance flow from the Anahata. When open and free we will feel connected and close to everyone in our lives. When blocked we will feel lonely and isolated, as well as several imbalances like heart and breathing disorders, chest pain, high blood pressure, muscular tension, and immune system problems. To cure a sick Anahata you should go on nature walks, spend time with family and loved ones, consume green food & drink, green gemstones, wearing the color green, and using green oils like eucalyptus or pine. 

Fifth Chakra- Vishuddha or Throat chakra, is located in the throat and is represented by the color blue. This is the center for communication as well as self expression. When unblocked and flowing we will be able to express and tell the truth without worrying what others may think, as well being able to express ones faith and thought fluently. When sick and blocked we may become anxious and censor our speech around others because of what their reactions may be. The implications of a blocked Vishuddha are mood swings, mouth, jaw neck and shoulder problems, as well as thyroid imbalances, Stamp or art collecting, singing, meaningful conversations, blue food & drinks, wearing the color blue, and the use of blue oils such as chamomile and geranium are recommended for healing this chakra.

Sixth Chakra- Anja, Brow, or The Third Eye chakra is found in the forehead in between the eyes and is symbolized by the color indigo. This is where we gather all of our intuition and information in our life. This chakra is responsible for realization and when free and flowing we are connected to our inner wisdom and feel guided in our choices, on the other hand when blocked we develop sleep disorder, distrust, lack of coordination, and self doubt. Stimulants for this chakra are Meditation, star gazing, indigo food & drink, wearing indigo clothing, using violet oils such as frankincense and patchouli.

Seventh Chakra- Sahaswara or Crown chakra is the seventh and final chakra and is colored purple. This chakra accounts for a higher consciousness and pure awareness. Known as the Thousand Petal Louts that bursts open when we remember our true nature and enlightenment. When blocked you are more prone to headaches and skin rashes. To enrich this chakra focus on dreams, write down visions, drink and eat purple food and drinks, as well as using violet oils like lavender.

Enneagram Type Five - The Observer

Observers believe they must protect themselves from a world that demands too much and gives too little. Consequently, Observers seek self-sufficiency and are non-demanding, analytic, thoughtful and unobtrusive; they also can be withholding, detached and overly private.

Focus of attention - Intellectual understanding, accumulating knowledge, and potential intrusions from others’ agendas, needs and feelings

Life lesson - To reconnect to the vitality of your life force and your heartfelt feelings, realizing that ample energy and resources are available.

Speaking style - Fives are content-focused, clear, analytical and wordy, but not big on “small talk.” Others may perceive Fives as emotionally disconnected, aloof, over-analytical and distant.

What Type Fives tell us about themselves

  • I have a strong need for privacy.
  • I limit intrusion from a world that wants too much from me.
  • I hoard time, space, energy, knowledge and myself.
  • I detach from feelings and observe rather than participate.
  • I am a minimalist.

Relating to Fives

  • Respect their need for privacy (understanding this is not rejection).
  • Make it safe for them to share themselves, especially their feelings, giving them the space needed to do so.
  • Approach them slowly and thoughtfully, and avoid pressuring them for immediate contact or fast decisions.
  • Join them in talking about ideas and valuing the inner life.
  • Don’t make assumptions about what’s going on with them. Ask them for direct communication.

With a focus on intellect and gathering knowledge, Fives are often scholars or technical experts with keen perception and analytical abilities. They need privacy and personal autonomy because they often experience other people as intrusive. Their detachment from others and from emotional pressure creates a sense of personal freedom, but also can lead to loneliness. Fives need to balance their tendency to withdraw or withhold by reaching out to others, even if this involves discomfort or conflict.

Basic Proposition - You can assure survival and gain protection from intrusion and insufficient resources through privacy, self-sufficiency, limiting desires and acquiring knowledge.

Strengths - Scholarly, perceptive, thoughtful, self-reliant, dependable, respectful, calm in crisis

Challenges - Detached, isolated, overly intellectual, withholding, hoarding

Defense Mechanism
Isolation – can be physical withdrawal from others, but also means staying in the head and withdrawing from one’s emotions

Fives use isolation to avoid experiencing inner emptiness and to maintain a self-image of being knowledgeable. Gathering information becomes a way to create safety and self-worth, yet overemphasizing the intellect prevents Fives from connecting with the life force in their bodies and the support available in relationship with others.

Awareness Practice
Observe your habit of mind or focus of attention with as little judgment as possible. Ask yourself the following questions, while noticing your feelings and how your body responds:

  • In what ways do I react when I feel intruded upon?
  • How do I maintain a sense of safety by erecting boundaries and limiting contact with others?
  • How do I avoid emotions and stay in my head?
  • When do I fall into analysis paralysis?
  • How do I minimize my wants and desires?
  • How am I withholding or stingy?

As thinking types, Fives seek to develop knowledge and expertise while protecting their privacy and autonomy. They tend to stay in their heads and avoid experiencing body sensations or feelings. Sensitive to sound, touch and intrusion, Fives hold tension mostly in the gut (instead of musculature). 

If you are a Five…

Your task is to connect with your body and emotions. While we all unconsciously hold our breath to avoid scary or overwhelming feelings and sensations, as a chronic defensive strategy, it constricts your vitality and keeps you in your head. This may seem safe, but being in your body offers a new kind of security. Focus on slowly expanding your diaphragm and deepening your breath. You may feel uncomfortable or even anxious at first. But take it one breath at a time, learning to tolerate increased sensation. With continued practice you will access the abundant energy of your instincts, increase your capacity for pleasure and sensation, and make better contact with other people and the physical environment.


    One of the few things I’m actually alright at is biology. I’m not the best, of course, but I know a few hints and tips that might help you along the way.


    Get your pens, pencils, ruler, eraser, etc. all together and within hands’ reach; if you have everything scattered around and your phone next to you, you will become distracted. By having everything near you, you won’t have to get up and search for various equipment and therefore wasting time. Have a clear desk, only have the necessary things in your work area, don’t spend ages stressing over where your ruler is when it’s hidden under a stack of paper when you could’ve been doing something more productive. Always have a textbook nearby, you may have written something in your notes that you don’t fully understand or doesn’t make sense so look it up, also textbooks tend to have some extra information that either wasn’t said in class or you missed.


    i know it seems like a waste of the time and that it’s mostly pointless but 80% of homework actually benefits you, whether it’s researching structures of cells, adaptations of animals or the human body, it’s being set for a reason. i don’t know if all teachers/schools do this but I occasionally get short exam questions - about 2 questions on the topic the class is focusing on - and this gives you a taster of what questions you might expect in a future test/exam, take not of these since these can sometimes come up in the test itself.


    diagrams appear constantly in biology and these are vital. depending on how artistic you are feeling either copy down diagrams into your notes and revision or print some off and do the same. make sure you annotate these diagrams — a blank picture is going to do you nothing — add in key details that you think will benefit your understanding. if you’re studying a topic that includes process eg. mitosis/meiosis or the menstrual cycle, take note of each stage and what occurs or changes. you can create a flow diagram to show each step, make a clear table to explain definitions or make/find questionnaires on the topic.

    colour coding

    if your book or textbook had underlining or highlighting you will find information quickly, guaranteed. create a key that explains what you’re highlighting, but only colour the minimum you need, as the point of this is to show the most important pieces of information; not make the page look pretty.

    know how you learn

    some people have certain learning styles such as visual, audio, kinesthetic or verbal. know your style, it’ll make things easier. there are quizzes online to help decipher which is yours. once you’ve found what it is you can create revision that you can understand better. for example, visual learners may like to have sticky notes placed around the house to read as they walk around their home; it depends on what you’re comfortable with.

    write down the necessary

    during the test, look at how many marks a question is worth. from this you’ll know how many points to make and how much you need to explain it. if you have a set amount of time on tests, don’t spend it all on one question that’s worth 2 marks when you could be working on a 6 marker. think logically about how should spend your time on questions and how much writing is necessary. if you are a slow writer, like myself, you won’t have time to pour your heart and soul into a 1 mark question, you need to be aware of your timing, try to answer all questions.


    if you really are struggling then don’t worry, help will be offered. you can either ask another family member who isn’t busy or ask for a mentor/tutor at school; outside of school, you can also look up videos that also explain the subject: there are plenty to chose from. its perfectly fine if you don’t understand at first, because not everything clicks at the very beginning.

    hope this helped a little and if you ever need help, feel free to ask :)

    ghost-wanderings  asked:

    I'm sorry if this seems like a personal question, but how did you convince or assure your family that art making was the career path for you? I'm currently trying to get back into art after taking a break but my family isn't happy that I want to return to it. Their main argument is that I won't have benefits like someone would working full time at a company & because of the unstable income. Even though I understand where they're coming from, but it still undermines what I want to do.

    *whispers* thru a lot of emotional turmoil and anxiety _(:3」∠)_ I was told drawing should only be a hobby and not a career because my family believed you can’t make a good living in art, so I tried to back-burner it and did what i could studying sciences–it didn’t work out well; I had a lot of anxiety and went through some rough emotional patches in university. My mom and grandparents became a lot more supportive after they saw that i had a lot more interest in art than any of my uni courses (and also that i really wasn’t happy going down the science route). My dad’s disappointment lingered a bit longer, but now he’s fully come to accept that he can’t change what I’ve set my heart to, and my family’s really supportive now. In some ways, they’re right: In Vancouver, it’s a saturated industry–it is competitive, you are not guaranteed a position, and if you are, the company may only give you a temporary contract, and freelancing is definitely not a stable source of income. Your family’s concern is in the right place.

    However, if this is something you truly want to pursue, you need to start beefing a portfolio, and investing in classes (online or in class) and tutorials to hone your skill and expand your skillset (this is important–nowadays, companies are more likely to hire someone who can do more than just one thing–i.e. being able to draw both characters and backgrounds, to illustrate and code, or illustrate and model in 3D etc etc). Talk to people in the industry (either by attending work conventions or with peers in that industry), you need that feedback and information to get to a destination that’s, for a lack of a better word, hazy and increasingly competitive.

    Creating a portfolio takes time and commitment; art will frustrate you, but you will get better, your portfolio will get better. If you choose to freelance, you have to be aware of the risk. You need to understand that you will need to save more money when freelancing because your next paycheque is not always guaranteed. You need to be able to put yourself out there if you’re freelancing. Unless you hire an agent, you’ll need to push your art and yourself as an artist out there whenever you can. Making connections with people in the industry is your best bet–while your art can certainly speak for itself, it’s equally vital to reach out and talk to people.

    if you are fortunate enough to land a job within a company, that’s great! you’ll have less freedom when it comes to the work you do and have less control over your own work hours, but your benefits are more guaranteed, and you’re still getting to do art! either way, your portfolio is the most vital thing. While you work on a portfolio, take a job that will help you make enough in order to achieve your art career in the future. Your happiness and how you feel you will succeed is important, and your family will come to realise that. Ask them + friends for help when you need it; starting your path to a career you want shouldn’t be a one-man journey. 

    Day 1: Discharge

    Hello, my name is Allen, and I have just been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Just yesterday, I rushed myself to the emergency room at Pali Momi Medical center at around 5 PM. I was buzzed, and the duration of my car ride was filled with screaming and crying to the point where I could barely see from the tears. I droved into the emergency ramp, and trembled my way into the emergency room. My extremities were fidgeting, my voice slurred, and my eyes barely able to stay open. I went up to the registration person for the emergency room, where he asked me for my ID and insurance card, which I gave to him with my shaking fingers. He then asked me, “What are you in here for?”, in which I had reluctantly said “I want to kill myself.” To my surprise, he casually entered the information into his computer, which sparked my interest. I then asked him, “Is it normal for you guys to have suicidal patients come in?” in which he responded “Oh yeah, we take care of everyone who needs help”. At that point, I knew that I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. They gave me a room in which a nurse took my vitals, and a urine sample. Later on another nurse drew blood for testing as well. A total of three different nurses came to me to help, all of whom asked me what I was feeling.

    I told all of them that I was suicidal, and that I had been that way for months. They asked me if I had plans of committing suicide, in which I immediately said yes. I’ve attempted suicide, a couple times. Thought about it hundreds more. If I wasn’t aggressively attempting to kill myself, I was in a state where I still didn’t care if I were to be killed by an outside source. I wasn’t afraid of speeding, driving drunk, driving high, starving, etc. If I hadn’t lived to die, I lived for lack of reason anyways. My episodes with attempting suicide ranged far and wide. Over the months, I’ve increased the intensity of my desire to kill myself. I’ve went from just thinking about it, to dreaming about it, to telling others that I want to, to actually planning what I’ll do, all the way to reaching the preparedness of driving to my destination of death, or concocting my lethal drink. As you can obviously tell, I haven’t broken through the cap of actually jumping into the water, or swallowing the bottle of pills, or hammering the kitchen knife into my ribcage. Why I haven’t, I honestly don’t know.

    Anyways, back to last night. Unfortunately, Pali Momi didn’t have a psychiatrist in residence, so I had to be transferred to one that did. About 3 hours after my stay at the Pali Momi ER, they transferred me to Castle Medical Center’s Behavioral Mental Services. I was on legal hold, which meant that I could only be transferred via ambulance, and couldn’t be transferred by my dad who came to the ER after calling him prior to admitting myself. The EMTs transferred me onto the gurney, and put me into the ambulance. One of the EMTs took my vitals once again, and asked me the questions that I had scripted already at that point. Instead of the responses that the nurses had, which were the professional “Don’t worry we’ll give you the care you need”, the EMT gave me a response that I’d compare to a friend, or a brother. He told me “Yeah man, life’s rough. You’d think you could just take it a step at a time, but sometimes there’s just too many steps, bro.” The realest answer I’ve had the entire way through. 

    Once I entered Castle’s BHS, I was scared. I thought, for being in this type of wing, I was going to be in with the psychopaths and crazies. Definitely. Not. True. I had a roommate with me in my room. The nurse introduced me, and he told me “Yeah brotha go get some rest”. His name is Jeremy, but I’ll talk more about him later. I barely had sleep. I got to bed at around midnight, but I could feel myself staying awake for a couple of hours. I was scared that Jeremy would be the type to jump at me, and the rooms had no emergency assist buttons or anything, so I was just laying there terrified. He seemed nice when they introduced me, but I was aware of those mental disorders with multiple personalities, and I just didn’t know if that was what he had. A half an hour or so, and he started snoring, giving me the peace of mind that he was sleeping and I could, too. 

    I won’t really talk about the activities from my stay, because in all honesty, that wasn’t what helped me at all. It was the interactions with the other patients. I was woken up at around 7 for breakfast, and I hadn’t known where I was going to sit. I felt safe with Jeremy because he didn’t kill me in my sleep, but I had no idea how he looked like so I couldn’t tell which one he was. So, I sat next to this teenager and then another older black person. It was very awkward because 1) I still had that thought in the back of my mind that I’ll be jumped any time soon and 2) I didn’t know what disorders they had and if something I say would ever trigger them to. Oddly enough, the black person told me “You don’t have to eat it all if you don’t want to”. referring to my very slow eating. Then the teenager also confirmed. That’s when they both introduced me. The black man’s name was Cordell. The teenager’s name was Rascheyl I believe. I saw nothing wrong with either of them. Cordell says he owns an organization called a Ways for Youth. I searched it up and nothing came up, but he says that once he leaves, he will accept clothes donations to donate to BHS for those who will leave the facility with no clothes to wear. He is a very intelligent man in his own way. I doubt he’d do well on an SAT, but he’s street smart. He gave me intel on every person on the wing, and preached on how we’re in here because they think that we have conditions that make us imperfect. But we’re just heavy in the brain in places where these scientists can’t understand, so they save their asses and say that we’re just not normal to avoid looking like they don’t have all the answers. Rasheyl graduated from my high school a year after me. She also came in because she was suicidal. My roommate is Jeremy. Before his stay, he worked for the Department of Agriculture, specializing in invasive species under his bachelor’s degree in Biology with a specialization in Plant and Animal Science from Colorado State University. He was planning to get a Master’s in Toxicology in Oregon. He’s in there for alcohol abuse and depression after his dad and two friends died. All three of them, I saw nothing wrong with them at all.

    The psychiatrist prescribed me with antidepressants, believing that this bite sized tablet can keep me from my thoughts every day. The social worker set me up with a therapist who basically assigned me a syllabus for a class on how to deal with my depression. an Insurance representative more or less told me that they want to help, but instead here’s three other numbers to call so that they don’t need to do anything besides pay for the bill. 

    The moral of this story, is that all of these doctors and shit can prescribe me all they want and set me up with appointments wherever they desire. But the real healing came from the other patients in there. Who made me believe that my condition won’t hinder me from being a real person. If a street-smart man with intentions to give back, a teenager my age from the exact same environment growing up, and a well off plant biologist with all the credentials, can all end up in the place that calls you insane, then my condition must be as normal as asthma. It doesn’t give me hope of getting out of this suicidal condition of mine, but it does give me hope that I will be capable of great, great things.

    || The Path to Destruction || A Karl Heinz Route

    Prologue -> Dark Prologue

    “Where is my daughter! Let me through! Let me see her!!”

    “Ma’am I can’t let you go through those doors. The surgeons are already busy saving your daughter’s life. Please, sit down and let us handle it!”

    To think one suicide bomber would cause this many civilians in the emergency room. The amount of parents demanding information and wishing to see their children seem endless. I can’t blame them. One of my mother’s siblings left behind two toddlers. I have taken care of them for about a decade. They have turned into quite the handful. When the burden became too much for my mother we decided that she would take one in and I would take the other, making sure that the siblings would see each other as much as possible.

    As there was no father in my life. Nor do I care at the moment. Right now what is most important is to save as many lives as possible and leave this room with least amount of Jane and John Doe’s.

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    Make Me Feel Like I’m Real (6/?)

    Title: Make Me Feel Like I’m Real
    Pairing: T.J Hammond x OMC
    Rating: General Audiences
    Warnings: referenced assault (nothing graphic), a couple of bad words?
    Spoilers: spoilers for Political Animals (esp. the last couple of episodes)

    Writer’s block hit me hard after last chapter, and I was not expecting to finish this chapter at all this month with Camp NaNo. Surprisingly, doing Camp NaNo has been instrumental in getting this chapter done; the joy of writing and creating, and I kept adding stuff to this chapter while working on the Camp NaNo-story with Loup. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as I do.

    Tag list at the end of the chapter.

    << Chapter 5 | Chapter 7 >>

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