because this is just too hilarious

@altonin I have non-antagonistic slightly disagreeing thoughts but am too ill to express them right now. Just wanted to say I found your post dead interesting and kind of feel like you’ve got a solid cynical position on this stuff there, and I think I see it from a more of a sort of TNG-loving optimistic position (which is frankly hilarious because I am not the poster child for positivity)

anonymous asked:

Out of your snoots who are your top two faves?

Leli and Tali are currently tied :P Leliana just has a special place in my heart. She is the sweetest of my babies, and her pearl white scales are just gorgeous. I love her goofy personality too, she will periscope for ten minutes at a time and its hilarious!
Tali is absolutely the most intelligent of my snakes.What I used to think was a feeding response movement, I know now to be her curiosity. Her body language is much different than the other snakes, and she is curious about everything! There was one time I was scrolling down tumblr and she set her head on my hand, and I was stuck like that for fifteen minutes because she wouldn’t move and I didn’t have the heart to move her. Every time I would move her tongue would flick and she would move her eyes, not her head, to look at it. That is one of the main differences I see, is when she is curious she moves her eyes, the other snakes will move their heads. And for some reason the movement comes off as more intelligent for some reason? I dunno. But I definitely love all my snakes tbh :P

triscuitsandsoup  asked:

#9 for Department Six please n.n

  • 9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Short answer: nope! I did start writing an ending where somehow all the FBI peeps ended up in Beacon Hills to go tot he rescue of Stiles, Danny and Rafa, but it just got too confusing, so I decided to have the werewolf reveal at Addison and Mueller’s wedding instead. 

Also, when I started writing it, none of the people from the little “one time” scenes were going to come back into play, but it turned out Addison was a lot of fun to write, and it occurred to me that it would be hilarious if he ended up working with these little assholes he hated from Quantico, 

And also Hastings had to come back again, because I wanted him and Danny to end up together! 

ok don’t get me wrong the ‘salt and pepper diner’ bit is hysterical, but john mulaney has so many more hilarious stories that no one seems to talk about:

•the party at the house of the teacher that everyone hated

•the dog trainer

•meeting bill clinton

•“hUSH!”

•“-too old to be a duckling, quack, quack!”

•“eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.”

•literally any story involving his parents (especially the black coffee one)

just please, do yourselves a favor, don’t just stop at ‘salt and pepper diner’, listen to all this guy’s stories because they are gold

A story that may have relevance for others, or then again, maybe not:

When I was in college, about ten or so years ago, I was a history major. I wanted to learn to dance, so I joined a swing dance club on campus. To my surprise, this club had about twice as many men as women (in high school, the last time I’d tried dancing, the ratio had gone the other way–lots of girls, and boys only that you could drag by their ears).

But apparently, there had been some kind of word spread specifically to the STEM guys that dance was a way that they could meet girls.

So anyway. I joined the swing dance club, and met a few guys. And at one point, when socializing with the guys outside of dance class, one of them asked me what my research was on. (I had already established that I was an honors history student doing a thesis, just as he had established that he was an honors… I’m not sure if he was CS or Math, but it was one of those.)

So I gave him the thumbnail sketch of my research. Now, to be clear, an honors senior thesis, while nothing like what a graduate student would do, was still fairly in-depth. I had to translate primary sources from the original late-Classical Latin. (My professor said, basically, that while there were plenty of translations of my source material, that I’d only be able to comfortably trust them if I had at least made a stab at a translation of my own. And he was right.) And there was so much secondary material, often contradictory, that I had been carefully sorting through.

But I was able to sift it into a three-sentence summary of my senior thesis work, you know, as one does.

So I gave him that summary, and then asked–since he was also an undergraduate senior doing an honors thesis–what his research was on.

“Oh,” he said, “you wouldn’t understand it.”

Reader, I went home in a frothing rage. Because I had thought we were playing one game–a game of ‘let’s talk about what we’re passionate about!’– and he had been playing another game, which was, one-upsmanship. I had done my best to give a basically understandable brief of my research–and he had used that against me. As if my research, my painstaking translation, my digging through archives and ILLs of esoteric works, my reading of ten thousand articles in Speculum (yes, the pre-eminent medievalist journal in North America is called Speculum, I’m sorry, it’s hilarious/sad but also true), and then my effort to sum it up for him, was nothing. Because his research into some kind of algorithm or other was just too complex for my tiny brain to conceive of. Because I just couldn’t possibly understand his work.

Now, the important note here is that the person I went home to was my senior year roommate. She was a graduate student–normally undergrads and graduate students couldn’t be roommates, but we’d been friends for years, and the tenured faculty-in-residence used his powers for good and permitted us to be roommates that year. Anyway. My senior year roommate was basically… in retrospect I think possibly an avatar of Athena. She was six feet tall, blonde, attractive in a muscular athletic way, a rock climber and racquetball player, sweet but sharp, extremely socially awkward, exceptionally kind even when it cost her to be kind, and an incredibly brilliant computer science major who spent most of her time working on extremely complicated mathematical algorithms. (Yes, I was a little in love with her, why do you ask? But she was as straight as a length of rope, and is now happily married, and so am I, so it worked out.)

(Still, yes, she is my mental image of Athena, to this day.)

Anyway, I came home in a frothing rage to my roommate, the Athena avatar. And I said, “He made me feel like such an idiot, that I could sum up my research to him but his research was just too smart for stupid little me.”

And she shut her book, and smiled at me, with her dark eyes and her high cheekbones and her bright hair, and said, “If he can’t explain his research to you, then he’s not nearly as smart as he thinks he is.”

Now I hesitated, because I’d be in college long enough to have sort of bought into the ridiculous idea that if you couldn’t dazzle them with your brilliance, you should baffle them with your bullshit. But she said, “Look, I’ve been doing work on computer science algorithms that have significantly complicated mathematical underpinnings. What do I do?”

And I said, “Genetic algorithms–that is, self-optimizing algorithms–for prioritization, specifically for scheduling.”

“Right,” she said. “You couldn’t code them because you’re not a computer scientist or a mathematician. But you can understand what I do. If someone can’t explain it like that, it isn’t a problem with you as a person. It’s a problem with them. They either don’t understand it as well as they think they do–or they want to make you feel inferior. And neither is a positive thing.”

So. There.

If you are looking into something and have a question, and someone treats you like an idiot for not understanding right away… here is what I have to say: maybe it isn’t you who is the idiot.

2

PLEASE CLICK ON THE IMAGES im dumb and still dont know how photoset dimensions work here godddghfj

OK anyway i guess this is a disjointed spiderman homecoming au-ish thing purely because i loved how zendayas character was reading that book and i thought it would be hilarious to see keith reading it too considering how much he loves bonding

also i just love the idea of spiderman lance

I was just randomly clicking through episodes and stumbled upon this scene and it’s actually quite underappreciated and very sweet

this obviously happens shortly after their stupid argument over the lost bag of nuts (rest in peace brave soldier) and it’s clear that they’re still a bit tense after that. But Yuuri makes an attempt to break the ice 

“What would you like for a gift?” can just as easily be translated to: “I’m not annoyed anymore and would like to put this behind us.” It’s a sweet peace offering, with Yuuri showing interest and care in something that he presumes is important to Viktor.

However

Viktor misinterprets what Yuuri is trying to say and, while answering truthfully, also accidentally dismiss the hand Yuuri reached out for him. It’s a good display of them facing a cultural gap, since Yuuri might have planned to get Viktor a gift in advance and Viktor shoots that wish down. It’s not on purpose! But, speaking from experience, sometimes cultural gaps cause misunderstandings between couples that might lead to hurt feelings

 As is also evidently displayed here; Yuuri tries to mend what was hurt in the previous scene, in his own way, and Viktor misunderstands and Yuuri is left feeling rejected and possibly anxious that Viktor is still mad at him

BUT THAT LEADS US TO THE MOST CRUCIAL MOMENT IN THIS SCENE

VIKTOR CLEARLY NOTICES THAT YUURI GETS HURT and immediately tries to make Yuuri feel better in a way that is just as sweet as Yuuri’s own

it’s a line of dialogue that is just as simple as Yuuri’s when he asks what Viktor wants as a gift. “Do you want some hot wine, too?” is basically Viktor reaching out to Yuuri and showing care for his well being and offering to share something of his own with him. It’s simple, it’s sweet and easily leads into the hilarious line about Yuuri not handling alcohol well, bUT IT’S JUST SO CUTE AND THOUGHTFUL

THIS SCENE IS SO GREAT BECAUSE EVEN AFTER AN ARGUMENT THEY TRY TO FIX WHAT WAS HURT BY SHOWING EACH OTHER CARE AND COMPASSION AND IT’S SOOOOO PURE THEY CARE SO MUCH ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP

Why “Beauty and the Beast” was actually pretty great:
  • the music is not good, it’s great
  • production design, costumes (even the freaking yellow dress which is actually quite gorgeous on camera), everything is truly beautiful and quite breathtaking at moments
  • the acting was surprisingly wonderful. it’s disney, it’ll be cheesy at moments—but for the most part, it was terrific
  • this is not a childish adaptation
  • when it gets dark, it gets DARK. 
  • g a s t o n
  • new songs! new character development! 
  • the cgi is not even that bad. in fact, there are moments when it’s pretty seamless. the practical sets and effects compensated for it, in my mind.
  • and when it’s wonky? you won’t care because you’ll be too busy smiling
  • there is some hilarious shit in this movie
  • the beast’s expressions are actually amazing; you can really see the actor moving beneath them 
  • T H E    M U S I C
  • you get to see little kids and adults all freaking out the whole time
  • SIR IAN MCKELLEN PLAYS A CLOCK AND IS AWESOME AT IT
  • emma watson will make your heart stop she is so beautiful
  • sneaky political/ethical gestures that made me cheer
  • this movie is so pure and we need that right now
  • and by the end? i just started laughing and crying—in excess joy. i couldn’t believe it. i’ve never been moved by a movie like that in my life.
  • it won’t please everybody but if you loved the original and if you are prepared to attempt to enjoy it for what it is—a colorful, painterly, vibrant adaptation of a beloved story—then go watch it.

Reasons to be happy today:

  • As we know, Bruce takes the “be prepared” thing super seriously, and it did come in handy back when the Justice League was first starting out, because he had plans for situations the rest of them assumed were outlandish… until all of them happened. 
  • “How do we fight sentient machines??” “I have a file” “The military is building a death ray???” “I’ll send you the file” “How would I know how to communicate with an alternate universe?” “Well if you read the file–” After a few years, “Bruce has a file for that” became a JLA joke, generally used to tell someone they’re being ridiculous.
  • “Okay let me get this straight… you think they were gathering information through spyware concealed in the shells of the garden snails outside the kitchen window” “Hey, Bruce has a file for that” [Bruce grumbling in the background]
  • To answer the obvious question, yes, it caught on around Wayne Manor too. His kids use it all the time, though admittedly with a little more wariness, because they’re all intimately familiar with just how extensive Bruce’s files can get.
  • “For a second I thought this was some kind of Freaky Friday situation” “Yeah Bruce has a file for that” “Really?” “No. Probably. Who knows at this point?” Variant editions such as “Dick has a file for that” and “Tim has a file for that” have also entered the community vocabulary.
  • Bruce does occasionally have a file for that. It’s hilarious. Further variations include personal burns like “She says the kid is his” “Okay I know for a fact Bruce has a file for that one” and “I just want to encourage communication, you know?” “Bruce definitely does NOT have a file for that one, can I get an amen???” Bruce doesn’t think it’s nearly as funny as everybody else does. 

moonlit-chronicles  asked:

What is your favorite show from Bo Burnham? For me, it's really hard to choose between "what." and "Make Happy"

Make Happy for sure! It’s incredible because it’s not just jokes, it’s a god damn experience from start to finish. A lot of what he does in that show has another layer to it even though there are one off silly jokes but that’s more to offset the pacing and give a breather. 

It’s both hilarious and heart breaking at the same time to watch that special because you can clearly see and feel that something is off with him and it makes it a lot more real. I can relate very heavily to the ending song too and even after watching it several times it still makes me tear up. 

Wherever you are Bo, I hope you are happy! 

I’ve gotten quite a few asks recently wanting to know what my issue with Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition is. You’ve probably seen my grumbling about edition-warring a time or three, so I want to clarify that that isn’t where this post is going. I think 5E has a lot of fantastic ideas, and I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it to new players. The problem I have with it isn’t that I don’t like what it’s doing; it’s that I see a lot of great game design ideas lumbered by a conscious refusal to take them to their logical conclusion - or, in other words, it’s not that I think 5E goes too far, it’s that I think it doesn’t go far enough.

(Fair warning: a lot of this is going to be really jargon-heavy game design stuff that normal people probably don’t care about. That’s your cue to check out if tabletop RPG meta isn’t your cup of tea!)

To start off, there’s a concept in game design - applicable to both video games and tabletop games - called “mechanical engagement”. Basically, it’s what it sounds like: how and when the player is called upon to make rules-based decisions. Some games have high mechanical engagement, in the sense that players are given lots of rules-based “toys” to play with and expected to interact with them frequently; other games have low mechanical engagement, meaning that there are fewer rules-based “toys”, and fewer player-facing decisions about how to deploy them.

Moreover, in games that have roles or classes, different roles within the same game can offer different levels of mechanical engagement. It’s tempting to think of this in terms of low mechanical engagement = basic and low-powered, high mechanical engagement = advanced and high-powered, but this ain’t necessarily the case; you can see this phenomenon in action in the sphere of video games in, say, 2D fighters, or multiplayer online shooters. You have characters/roles with complicated and demanding execution, and characters/roles with simple and straightforward execution, and the former aren’t necessarily more powerful in practice, in spite of being more demanding to play.

The reason this happens is because a player’s preferred level of mechanical engagement is totally independent of any other axis of play (e.g., preferred role, preferred aesthetics, etc.) Some players like having lots of rules-based knobs and levers to play with, and they’ll gravitate to roles that will give them that even if there’s no actual benefit - i.e., even if it obliges them to work harder just to get to the same level as players in roles with lower mechanical engagement. Similarly, some players just want to press buttons and watch stuff explode - they prefer low mechanical engagement.

There’s nothing wrong with either preference, and one of the major perks of playing a tabletop RPG with class/role-based character creation is that it allows you to accommodate different preferences in terms of mechanical engagement within the same party. You can have players who want to juggle lists of special abilities as long as their arm, and players who just want to hit things with swords, and they can play at the same table - everybody wins. Again, remember that this is totally separate from wanting to play a “low powered” or “high powered” character; the level of mechanical engagement that a role demands is a different axis from how big its numbers are.

Now, one of the perennial issues of fantasy tabletop RPGs in general and D&D in particular is tying particular levels of mechanical engagement to particular role aesthetics. In many iterations of the game, if you want to play a role with high mechanical engagement, you have to chuck fireballs, and if you want to play a role with low mechanical engagement, you have to be a sword-slinging meat shield. A player who wants high mechanical engagement but also likes swords is liable to be told, both by the game’s text and by other players, that she’s Doing It Wrong - and so, for that matter, is a player who wants low mechanical engagement, but also wants to set stuff on fire with her brain.

(Incidentally, this is one of several areas where core-book 4E solves a real and recognised problem in the most hilariously unsubtle manner imaginable, by bashing every role into exactly the same level of mechanical engagement. Which is fantastic if that just happens to be your preferred keel, because now you can play and enjoy every role - and terrible if your ideal toybox is too much larger or smaller, because now every role is an equally bad fit for you.)

5E brings a couple of great ideas for solving this problem to the table:

1. It introduces a series of “tutorial levels”, where each class‘s abilities are introduced gradually over the levels 1-3, reducing entry barriers, leveling out the learning curve, and allowing folks to “try on” different levels of mechanical engagement more easily; and

2. It introduces system of templated archetypes whereby particular classes/roles can be “tuned” to different levels of mechanical engagement, making the same basic set of roles accessible to players with a broader range of preferences in terms of mechanical engagement - and, critically, the choice of template doesn’t have to be made until after the previously mentioned “tutorial levels” are complete.

Sounds great, right?

The problem is, it only applies to fighters and rogues and related classes. Clerics and wizards - i.e., the full-featured spellcasters - don’t get any “tutorial levels”, are obliged to choose their archetypes at first level, and all of their archetypes are about equally complicated - to the point that, for example, the lowest mechanical engagement cleric you can build has more rules-based toys you’re obliged to wrangle at any given level than the highest mechanical engagement fighter.

In other words, the game turns around and goes some distance out of its way to reinforce the very problem that this design pattern is meant to solve!

This pattern is repeated in several other places. For example, one of the long-standing disagreements among the fandom is whether D&D should primarily support epic, globe-trotting “high fantasy” or gritty, street-level “low fantasy” as its default tone. It’s as much a question of rules as it is of flavour text, so it’s hard to do both - but 5E gives it the old college try, which is a frankly fascinating decision. How does that play out?

Unconventionally, 5E does it based on character classes: you literally have some classes that are built out of high fantasy tropes, and some classes that are built out of low fantasy tropes, with the result that you can have characters who basically hail from totally different genres of fantasy fiction running around in the same party. This isn’t necessarily a bad idea; there are lots of inspirational sources that setup could describe - I mean, just look at The Lord of the Rings. If that’s not a prototypical case of high fantasy characters and low fantasy characters partying up, I’ll eat my hat.

This’d be another great opportunity for the archetype system to shine - but again, we see this obnoxious wall slamming down between “martial” and “magic” classes. This time it goes the other way: fighters and rogues default to low fantasy genre assumptions, and have access to archetype templates that can dial them up to high fantasy - but clerics and wizards default to high fantasy and don’t get anything to adjust that.

Tellingly, the high fantasy archetypes for fighters and rogues basically operate by bolting half a wizard to the side of their respective classes. You end up with a strange dynamic where some characters from a given piece of genre source material are valid inspirations, but not others - e.g., you can be Merlin, but not Lancelot; Gandalf, but not Legolas; Medea, but not Achilles. Again, we see this reactionary notion that only spellcasters are allowed to play in the big-kid sandbox; the game’s text openly acknowledges as much by flat-out stating that only full-progression spellcasters are relevant when determining which tiers of play a party can engage with. And again, the tools to fix that are right there; the game just doesn’t deign to pick them up and use them.

I could keep going, but I suspect I’ve harped on long enough that y’all get exactly where I’m coming from here. It’s like… these are not new problems. Maybe not all players care about them, but it’s nearly universally acknowledged that they exist, and it would have taken so little effort to address them - the game literally developed the perfect tools to do so, then didn’t use them. It drives me crazy to see a game come so close to what could have been a legitimately revolutionary take on the genre, then deliberately stop juuuuust short of the goal line.

let me help you fall in love with tanaka’s character (i’m gonna cut some parts from the first volume of the manga).

this is tanaka ryunosuke. he appears for the first time in the manga on vol 1 . he’s a second year and as you can see, he’s got that delinquent boy look going on. oh, and you’re gonna see that facial expression a lot, it’s his signature. it’s meant to intimidate people, but, no, just no, it’s hilarious af. 

guys, guys, guys, tanaka is a dork. we love dork characters, right?

he’s so simple minded. he’s just like bokuto. i’m dying.

whether you’ve watched the anime or you’re reading the manga, you probably know that the weird duo knocks off the vice principal wig, leading to daichi kicking them out of the gym. this scene is right before any of that happens. daichi is trying to talk to hinata and kageyama, but they’re just too absorbed in arguing that they do not hear him. tanaka is scolding them because daichi san is talking. he respects the third years a lot and wants the first years to respect them as well. we love respectful characters, right?

and here is the part where i start talking about how good of a senpai (and a person) tanaka is. this guy wakes up at 4 to let those two practice in the gym without daichi knowing (heh). this is obviously not the only time tanaka looks out for his kouhais. there are so many scenes in which you can see tanaka taking care of the kids. my favorite one? it’s probably the one from the OVA. if you still haven’t watched it, go watch it, because if you still think that tanaka’s nothing more than a funny gag, you’ll understand that you’re wrong. so wrong.

he is such a caring person. karasuno, his teammates mean so much to him. when hinata and kageyama don’t pass their exams, they need to re-do it, but in order to practice with the others in tokyo they need a ride. in the OVA you see tanaka asking his sister if she can do this favor for him, at first she tells him no because it’s an at least four hours drive, but then she sees her brother counting his savings. guys, guys, guys, here me out, tanaka’s willing to use his own money for hinata and kageyama. unfortunately he doesn’t have enough, but do you know what he does to provide a ride for them? he kneels in front of his sister and begs her. and he did not tell anyone how hard it was for him to provide a ride for hinata and kageyama. y’know, he deserves being called tanaka senpai by everyone everyday of his life, tanaka is the man

but this, this is probably what i like the most about him. this is just an example, okay? here we have tsukishima, telling them about kageyama’s nickname. tanaka has never liked people talking shit about others. look at his expression, he’s mad. he’s gonna scold tsukishima, but daichi stops him. this happens not a lot, but a shit amount of lots. tanaka is always ready to shut up people who belittle others. he steps up for kageyama, he is always there for hinata, he’s always ready to say “no, don’t say that you’re great” whenever someone is self depricating or he’s ready to fight whenever they talk shit of his friends. he’s such a good character, guys. 

(oh, and have i already told you how strong this person is? when oikawa’s targeting him he puts himself together. all by himself. most players wouldn’t be able to do that, they’d be so down because they’d made a lot of mistakes, but tanaka? not tanaka, bitch. tanaka is stronger than that. tanaka is better than that. tanaka slaps himself and receives that powerful serve.)

tanaka is in my top 5 favorite haikyuu characters and now you kinda know why. i think there’s so much more i need to say, but this post is getting too long. but please, give a little love to tanaka ryunosuke. call him tanaka senpai. he deserves it.

anonymous asked:

Ooh in that case a 10 times sex went hilariously wrong list??

top 10 times things went wrong during sex!!

Could you do a Top 10 With the FUN STORIES ABOUT THINGS GOING WRONG DURING SEX? This is from the ASK about Yuuri more silly and confident.

You mentioned “amusing ‘things going wrong during sex’ stories” and now I’m wondering if that could be made into a top ten list? (≧∇≦)

Top ten ‘things going wrong during sex’ stories!!!!!!

 Since you mentioned it in a previous ask, would you mind doing a top 10 things going wrong and / or funny things which happened during Victor and Yuuri having sex? :P

 The Top 10 ‘things going wrong during sex’ stories should definitely be a thing, but i’m not going to press you to write more (even if not explicit) sex scenes. But it would be and absolutely hilarious topic (and it would be definitely be commented in some drunk-ish after party, just let it on Chris hands). 

————–

wow, you guys really wanted this one so I bumped it to the top of the queue! 

————–



Top 10 Times Things Went Wrong During Sex:

10) One time they were in a single bed and Yuuri was riding Viktor but halfway through Viktor decided to flip them over so that he was on top. The only problem was that he was used to having a king-sized bed and so instead of rolling them over he just dumped them both on the floor instead. It took Yuuri five full minutes to stop laughing

9) In reference to one of my previous top tens, during their first visit to Yuuri’s parents Yuuri refused to have sex at all in his parent’s house surrounded by his family. And Viktor totally respected that but after two weeks of blue balls he and Yuuri were taking Vicchan and Makkachin for a walk on the beach and he basically jumped Yuuri, who was very down with that idea. Which was great in the moment but afterwards Yuuri kept giving him death glares like ‘I have sand in my clothes, I have sand in my hair I have sand in places where sand is never supposed to be’.

8) During their second visit to the onsen, Yuuri refused to have sex in the onsen itself but Viktor did manage to convince Yuuri to let Viktor give him a blowjob after they got out of the water. But since they had just spent a really long time in very hot water and most of Yuuri’s blood was…not in his head, he ended up fainting at a really not opportune moment. Viktor freaked out and was terrified that Yuuri was seriously hurt but he woke up after a couple of seconds and Mari just stuck a cold cloth on his head, told him to suck it up and smirked at them both because Yuuri had been using the hot springs since he was a kid so she knew their story about him fainting from it just being too hot was complete bullshit.

7) Once they were being pretty athletic and adventurous which was going great until Viktor accidentally pulled a muscle and Yuuri teased him mercilessly about being an old man who couldn’t keep up with his athlete boyfriend anymore. The main problem came when Viktor had to explain to people at the rink how he pulled a muscle because neither of them wanted to tell the truth. Everyone figured it out anyway.

6) Once Viktor forgot to lock the bedroom door and Makkachin jumped onto the bed between them mid sex. They both screamed and jumped apart and it completely ruined the mood and then they couldn’t bring themselves to push Makkachin off the bed and lock him out again to continue because he looked too happy.

5) There was a time when Viktor convinced Yuuri to try being blindfolded which Yuuri decided to try out. But they didn’t bet on Yuuri being really jumpy without his vision and prone to startling so at one point Viktor leant down to give him a blowjob without warning him first and he jerked on instinct and accidentally kicked Viktor in the face. It took them about 10 minutes to stop the nosebleed but they were able to laugh about it afterwards once Yuuri stopped panicking.

4) They were once in the shower together and Viktor decided to try and pick Yuuri up like in chapter 13. Except he didn’t account for the fact that it is a lot harder to pick someone up in the shower surrounded by water and so he slipped, dropped Yuuri and broke their shower rack by grabbing onto it to try and stay upright.

3) Yuuri really likes pulling Viktor’s hair during sex and Viktor really likes getting his hair pulled during sex. But one time Yuuri pulled a bit too hard and accidentally yanked some of Viktor’s hair out. It was only a few strands and didn’t actually hurt that much but they then had to stop because Yuuri needed to comfort an inconsolable Viktor over the fact that he thought that he was losing his hair.

2) At the start of their relationship Viktor did a lot of the dirty talk which they’re both really into. But he was really keen for Yuuri to try it too. But Yuuri wasn’t that confident at the beginning and he could never think about what to say and felt really awkward so he was never confident enough to do it. So one day during sex Viktor suggested that Yuuri try dirty talking in Japanese to see if he felt more comfortable doing it that way (and because Viktor has a very badly hidden language kink). But Yuuri kind of panicked and just blurted out the first thing that came into his mind which was ‘I love katsudon’. Viktor didn’t speak fluent Japanese but he still recognised the word Katsudon and so they had to stop because he was laughing too hard to continue. He managed to convince Yuuri that it was actually pretty hilarious after a while of Yuuri being mortified and it became a private joke between them.

1) At one point Yuuri started to get a bit more open and comfortable with asking to try out new things with Viktor, who is ecstatic about it. One of the things he suggested was trying out handcuffs but he got really embarrassed and just bought the first cheap pair that he could find. Everything went fine until after they were finished when it turned out that the locking mechanism had jammed which meant that neither the key nor the emergency switch worked. So Viktor was stuck handcuffed to the bed and they were both way too embarrassed to call anyone for help. They eventually managed to get them off and laughed about it once it was over. Later Viktor bought Yuuri some high quality handcuffs as a present and made him promise never to use cheap sex toys again.

Sometimes I have to laugh at the galra designs, from a purely affectionate frame of mind, because like. They’re so goshdanged lanky.

When they’re in action or in movement it’s all fluid and streamlined and intimidating looking, like- this species was probably developed at least partially to run down prey in a savanna or comparable setting like a pack of hyenas or a lion pride hunting- they’re built like sprinters, with those long, whippy limbs and big powerful hands.

But just hanging around, they look. Kind of hilarious, honestly, like. there’s just too much limb and shoulder for their head. If Kolivan, Antok and Ulaz didn’t have their fingers curled their fingertips would be on a level with their knees. They’re practically noodle people. Even more sturdy-built ones like Antok, Morvok, and Varkon have that whippy, elongated quality to them- stark with Morvok because he’s not even particularly tall, making his proportionate gangliness even odder-looking to a degree.

And I mean, on a general level, the looking a little silly thing is pretty much par the course for most creatures in nature. A cheetah could sure mess me up but their body and legs look too long for the rest of them. If anything that similarity between cheetahs and the galra might suggest galra are generally built less for endurance and more for sprinting, which would be reinforced because a common tactic in the Blade of Marmora’s fighting style is taking opponents on at a full run. (Keith does this too, even!) Big ribcage for big lung capacity, quite possibly a larger heart, long legs with (generally) well-defined calves and thighs- probably a build for running.

…Now I’m stuck on stuff I’ve said before about prey drives, and if the galra are more adapted to run things down rather than ambush them, they’re probably pretty good at tracking movement. Especially smaller things running in front of them. 

dating peter parker...

let me know if you liked this it’s tragically long i went overboard haha

  • first and foremost, peter would be the most loving/attentive/caring and overall best boyfriend to ever exist, ever 
  • he’s also a needy baby who likes attention 
    • “Y/N”
    • “Yes, Peter?”
    • “You haven’t kissed me in, like, five whole minutes” 
  • majority of the time you make peter very flustered so you’re usually the one to initiate the kisses because he’s a blushing mess 
  • he thinks you’re the most gorgeous person to ever walk the earth
  • he cannot believe you’re as in love with him as he is with you
    • “How’d I get so lucky”
    • “Peter stop it it’s not like I’m a magical princess I’m normal stoppp” 
    • “But are you sure about that”
  • he will adamantly deny that he likes staring at you but that’s all he does when you’re with him
  • he prefers to call it gazing because it sounds less creepy and the last thing he wants is for you to think he’s a creep
  • he likes to tease you about the fact that you had a crush on him for most of your freshman year and it annoys you endlessly 
    • “That’s so cute Y/N how adorable”
    • “I will literally break up with you right now”
    • “What no no I’m sorry I love you don’t do that” 
  • the first time he told you that he loved you he stuttered for a solid ten minutes, almost cried because c’mon Peter just tell her you love her you idiot she’s gonna hate you if you keep stumbling over your words like a madman oh my god you haven’t said anything in five minutes no one has ever been silent this long
  • finally he closed his eyes and choked out the words and when he opened his eyes he swore that he had never seen anything as beautiful as the way you were smiling at him in that very moment 
  • after that he has no problem saying it to you whenever he can no matter where you are or what you’re doing
    • “Mr. Parker can you please share what you were just whispering to Ms. Y/L/N with the rest of the class?” 
    • “Oh yeah I was just telling her that I love her because I do and I need to make sure that she doesn’t forget” *cue adorable smile*
    • Oh my god Peter please be quiet I love you too you weirdo” 
  • he kind of lives for embarrassing for you, he thinks it’s the funniest thing 
  • you love Ned too and it kind of makes Peter jealous sometimes which is just hilarious to witness
    • “You’re spending an awful lot of time with Ned” 
    • “…………..I spend every waking moment with you and Ned hangs out with us dummy” 
    • “Just checking”
  • you’re the only person he tells about being Spider-Man because you’re you and he can’t keep something like that from the love of his life that’s just not how it works
  • when he sends Happy voicemails every day he makes sure to update him on how you’re doing and whatever thing you do that day that Peter found adorable
  • when Happy finally texts Peter back he doesn’t ask Peter how he’s doing he asks about you 
  • Peter introduces you to Tony with a proud smile on his face as he practically shoves you at him 
    • “Mr. Stark Mr. Stark Mr. Stark this is my girlfriend the one Happy told you about I wanted her to meet you isn’t she cool Mr. Stark”
    • “As long as she’s not as hyper as you are I think I’ll like her very much”
    • “Oh great ‘cause she’s very calm right Y/N?”
    • “Peter babe please stop yelling in my ear” 
    • “I like her already!”
  • he’s very big on calling you my love because it makes you get all shy and you turn away from him since you’re getting embarrassed
  • he proudly talks about you to anyone within earshot and everyone comes to love you because adorable, precious Peter Parker does too
  • Aunt May might love you more than Peter does 
  • sometimes Peter will come home to find you already sitting at the table with her sipping coffee out of his favorite mug and talking about your days and he just lights up with happiness 
  • you yell at him every time he loses yet another backpack 
    • “when will you learn your lesson about webbing your bag to the wall in dark alleys where thieves and probably murders hang out”
    • “that’d be a never” 
  • you kind of hate that he’s Spider-Man since the job is extremely dangerous and he literally almost died fighting Vulture
    • “are you sure you’re okay? i don’t want you dying on me”
    • “i would never leave you my love i promise” 
  • you yell at him whenever he comes back to his house with new bruises and injuries but he knows you’re just yelling because you care and so he takes the yelling and the angry crying from you and hugs you really tight and strokes your hair and tells you that he’s fine and it’s just a scratch and gives you the whole you should see the other guy spiel 
  • he draws engagement rings on your ring finger and swears he’ll make sure it’s a real one day and not just a shitty circle drawing because yeah he’s fifteen and so are you but who cares you’re the one for him and living without you is a life he doesn’t want to even imagine 
  • it’s just not an option and never will be
  • he gets anxiety whenever you have to ride the train out of Queens and back into Manhattan alone since that’s where you live
    • “but what if something happens and i’m not there and you get hurt i wouldn’t be able to live with myself”
  • he goes through metro cards like water in the summer when he doesn’t have his student one because he refuses to let you take the train alone 
  • he never lets go of your hand when you’re together… so basically he’s never once stopped holding hands with you unless absolutely necessary
  • you telling him to ask Tony to let you become an avenger
  • you want to be Black Widow 2.0 
  • or maybe Scarlet Witch but you don’t have powers like Wanda does so Black Widow 2.0
  • Tony actually says he’ll think about it because whenever he goes to see Peter or Peter comes to see him you tag along ( “we’re kind of a package deal Mr. Stark” ) and you’ve grown on him considerably 
  • after Peter meets the Avengers for the first time you plead with him to let you meet them too and when he finally relents you almost faint in front of Cap and have a heart attack in front of Natasha 
    • “Sorry she’s a little excited she’s not usually like this” 
    • “I think I need a glass of water or an oxygen tank”
    • “Mr. Stark do you have an oxygen tank”
    • “She didn’t faint in front of me I’m offended Y/N”
  • Cap offhandedly says you and Peter are cute kids and you almost die
  • Peter is definitely not jealous aT ALL
  • you reassure him that you love him more than Cap and always will
  • you would never want Peter to think for a second that anyone else could ever take you away from him you love him too much to think about that
  • he’s just ridiculously head over heels beautifully in love with you and he wears that love on his sleeve for the entire universe to see and doesn’t care if he’s called “whipped” because hell yeah he is 
  • he managed to become the boyfriend of the most divine person he’s ever had the pleasure of meeting
  • who wouldn’t be a lovestruck mess over you is the better question
  • at least in Peter’s humble opinion
10 Things I love about Expiration Date

#1.

This face. 

Legend says it only happens within a millisecond, but once you see it, it’s chilling. Like if this screenshot doesn’t describe the personality of Medic idk what else would, guys. Dude is so ready to scare the entire shit outta Scout. You can see it in his cold blue eyes. That boogeyman smirk. His evil (yet groomed) eyebrows. Y’all, this man holds so much unadulterated glee at witnessing the pain and suffering of others, so much madne–

–aaaand he’s back. Everything’s cool. Hey doc what the hell is that?

“TUMORS!” :Dc

k then

#2.

So originally I took this screenshot bc of Spy’s eyebrow and Heavy’s annoyed expression of being awoken from his slumber….

but then I proceeded to laugh my ass off bc I also happened to capture Sniper staring off into space while contemplating his existence in this universe.

(I’m sure this is a common occurrence with him. He’s probably the type of dude that wonders if pigeons have feelings.)

#3.

Still in the same room, only this time Spy has been gravely insulted by the Scoot.

But look at the others. They don’t seem too exasperated with Scout and his doodles of Spy. Maybe it’s because they also think this meeting is dumb, maybe it’s because they actually knew Scout was going to pull this prank, or maybe it’s because they too think The Eiffel Tower Having Sexual Congress With Spy is a hilarious joke.

Either way, it’s nice to see the other mercs genuinely smiling at Scout and his shenanigans. It’s better than the common fandom theme where Scout is The Worst and Everybody Hates Him.

No, the other old dudes know how to kid around too (even though it’s still at the Spy’s expense, oops)

Of course, whether the Pyro is smiling at him too is something we’ll never know. Personally I think he’s just eyeing up that bucket. Imagine how different this whole video would have gone if Pyro took the bucket instead of Soldier. 

Probably not so different actually.

#4.

This goes to show that Medic is not just a sadistic doctor. He’s a sadistic doctor that cares about his friends and smiles at them when he passes by.

It’s like when you’re walking down the hallway to class and you see your friend going to their class and you smile and nod to acknowledge their existence. It’s such a nice thing, and of all ppl Medic was the one who did that.

“Interesting.”


#5.

If there was a looping video of just Demoman and Sniper playing their instruments of choice I would pay to watch it forever. Also, how did they get there? Did Spy just yell “hey assholes who wants to help me create a romantic dinner mood so I can teach Scout how to talk to a girl” and Demo and Snipes were like “ok m8 no problem B)”

I know we’re already used to the fact that these boys are mad talented, but I still love the fact that their instruments aren’t what you would stereotype them to play based on their personality. 

The dude that’s paid to blow shit up can probably play Beethoven, and the Loner Guy that lives in a camper van probably knows the tune of Careless Whisper by heart. 

I love that.

#6.

Once again I take a screenshot in order to capture the character in the middle, only to lose my shit at the person standing at the far left.

Look at Medic’s face. Yes, I get it, in context this is a ridiculous situation. I mean the last line said before that was “I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days”. This is almost Saturday cartoon material here.

But still, look at his fucking face. I just…

MEIN FUCKING GOTT VHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU FUCK

#7.

Speaking of horrified reactions. 

Thank goodness I know what the context is in this clip because otherwise I would have assumed someone died, or Armageddon had arrived, or something else completely unimaginable happened and there’s nothing that can be done at all, ever.

But no, it’s just a mutant tentacle monster. And this is right before Heavy asks Medic to ubercharge him, because he’s metal af.

All jokes aside, though, the reason why I am putting so much emphasis on these little miliseconds of expression is because these characters are 3D animated, and a team of people sat in front of a computer rigging these facial features to move this way. Even though these moments happen for only a second, they are still very telling when you look at them up close.

Besides, Heavy doesn’t make this face very often (as far as we’ve seen) and it’s something worth remembering (amirite, Comic #6??)

#8.

Ok, lemme tell you guys a thing:

If I was fighting a giant-tentacle-whole-wheat-bread-monster and it hoisted my ass several feet into the air, only to fling me back to mother earth with all of it’s strength, I would stay on my fucking back for like five minutes trying to get breath back into my lungs and wondering why tf I even bothered to fight anyway.

THIS DUDE get’s knocked on his ass, arms and legs akimbo and everything, get’s back up mid-fucking-tumble while reaching for his blade, and charges back into the fight like nothing ever happened. 

Seriously, it’s one swift motion, like a damn nature show. You could watch the video again but you’d have to make sure not to blink because it happens so fast.

 And the amazing thing is that all the mercs (and Pauling too) have this insane ability of getting fucked, getting even more fucked, getting back up, and then getting back into the shitstorm with no hesitation. 

Then again, what’s what the Gravel Wars basically are right?

Shit, Administrator was right, these dudes are straight up Plutonium.


#9.

“Good news! We’re not dying! We are going to live FOREVER!”

Oh that Soldier, always giving a laugh. Honestly, though, the reason why I saved this was because I didn’t realize for a long time that the reason why he was able to jump in on the conversation was because he was eaten by the bread monster.

It makes sense, because last time we saw him he was being dragged while screaming something about teleporting bread. He was probably just laying there in the monster’s throat, getting ready to use a grenade, when suddenly boom went the bomb and he received visitors. All this time I never put two and two together that he was stuck inside the bread monster before Pauling and Scout made it cool. Shame on me. That’s definitely a Soldier thing to do.

(Also, you wanna know what a bread monster and Soldier have in common? They both have a talent of cockblocking Scout.)

#10.

And the final one.

There’s nothing like a family portrait. If the video froze at this point with credits I would have expected to hear a 90′s family sitcom jingle.

What a video.

ronan and gansey lose a bet to henry and have to dress like each other for a day. gansey’s bright polos are all way too tight on ronan and ronan’s ripped jeans cling to gansey’s thighs but bunch at the ankles because they’re too long and it’s absolutely hilarious. blue and noah can’t stop laughing and adam takes a photo to commemorate, which quickly makes its way around to the whole gangsey and becomes pretty much everyone’s phone lockscreen for the foreseeable future

so like in terms of describing gabriel’s personality he kinda reminds me of the overachieving college freshman who goes WAY out of his way to do a good job and still manages to pull off a decent gpa. then he realizes he put in too much effort and stressed too much about grades so by the time he’s a senior he’s so fucking jaded and over Itthat he just shows up to class fifteen minutes late wearing heelies and sunglasses, still in his goddamn pjs while carrying starbucks because he’s gotta be getting that beauty rest.  and the worst part of it is he makes such a spectacle of himself and doesn’t seem to try but he still makes the best grades in the class and it’s super infuriating but no one can hate him because a) he’s hilarious b) he’s fun at parties and c) his notes kept half the class from failing.

and then jack’s like the kind of college student who probably goofed off way too much freshman year and then looked at his gpa at the end of the year like “MMMM SHIT” so he started taking college TOO seriously. probably signed up for way too many extracurricular activities, tried to please everyone in every social circle, took way more hours than he was supposed to. dude’s jacked up on coffee mixed with energy drinks and running on 30 minutes of sleep and perpetual anxiety. he hasn’t showered in days and his laundry is a month old. he’s the dude you see falling asleep in the library at 4 am everyday and gets his shit stolen there no less than three times in one semester. he’s also the one who finds gabriel infuriating for being so effortlessly good at everything but he can’t hate him because he’s just so damn likable and also gabriel lets him borrow his notes sometimes and is the only one who can get him to fucking chill. 

anyway that’s how my character analysis accidentally became a college au

t06k  asked:

The problem isn't that you've offended people, it's that you refuse to stop. People have asked you to stop, and instead of stopping you say "It's just a joke, chill." Because you're famous now, you can't talk like you do at home or in public cause no one here knows you. So, even if you don't mean it, apologize and watch your words. People take things from famous people way too seriously for no reason, but it's a problem they need to deal with.

1- I aint famous fam. I’m just some kid with a cringe series going on on youtube.

2- I aint watching my words because I believe my dialect is fine. I only know a couple words you can use to call a person names and that sounded like my best choice

3- there are people like pewds, markiplier, jack that swear on a daily basis on their videos. And they swear like a sailor, which I find hilarious as freak. And no one is cruficying them for doing it so. And they ARE, indeed, famous.

4- with “u wont stop!!” What do you mean? I only used the word O N C E on tumblr and then refered to it as R word as I was answering people. If defending myself or try to sort out the issue is “not stoping” then… dude… you’re not understanding.

5- I got nothing to apologise for? I ised the word once under a justified circumstance that I don’t regret, for is being used in the right context under no harm. Also if you mean by the other answers people that follow me know I love sarcasm and answer some questions with bit of salt for the humor.

Yeh….


Time to reblog that clip again…