because therapy

anonymous asked:

Hey, so I've gotten prescribed antidepressants which are also for anxiety but I'm so reluctant to take them because of fear of the side effects. My dr. Told me I should start trying them out before I speak to a therapist because I won't benefit from therapy because I'm that low already. Should I take the meds? 😩 I feel like I've failed at life

the fact that you are seeking help and trying to make things better for yourself is a sign you are not failing at life. to me success in life is the perseverance to move towards the life you want, even in your darkest days. 

it’s up to you whether to take meds first or try therapist first. your doctor is off-base though, thinking that therapy cannot help people with severe symptoms. the gold standard treatment for severe depression is a combination of medications and therapy (ideally behavioral activation for most people, with other therapies coming in later as symptoms improve). the gold standard for anxiety is therapy, since meds can improve anxiety in the moment but stop working the second you stop taking them. do what’s best for you.

I usually make a point to avoid getting into this kind of drama. 

That stops now.

If you’ve been following the kind of people I follow, or if you’re part of new fandoms that experience a sudden explosion in popularity and number of fans - Undertale. Steven Universe. RWBY. Fire Emblem. Overwatch. Disney. Gravity Falls. Star Wars. Marvel. Etc -, you will have seen something like this.

Every time, without exception, there’s a small group of people who think they are entitled to say what is right and what is wrong. Who erect themselves as judge and jury of what is GOOD and what is PUNISHABLE. And now, they may well have erected themselves into executioners.

There was a tumblr user by the name of tyrant-rex. Emphasis on WAS. If you go to his blog you’ll notice it’s deactivated. That’s because he did it, right after leaving a suicide note.

Rex shipped Pewey. That is Pearl/Mayor Dewey, both characters from Steven Universe. Pearl is a canonical lesbian character. Mayor Dewey is a guy. And that, it seems, was all the reason this toxic part of the fandom needed to want him dead. They showered him in hate and this is the result. Rex may well be DEAD because some people decided a fictional ship was worth more than a human life.

And the most sickening part? They’re not sorry. They revel in the pain they’ve caused. They try to justify it.

“But Pearl is a canonicaly lesbian!” Doesn’t justify killing a person over it.

“But it was lesbian erasure!” No it’s not, just as shipping two heterosexual characters in a gay relationship isn’t heterosexual erasure. And even if it were, it would still not justify killing a person over it.

“But seeing that ship hurts me!” If a non-canon drawing of a fictional ship is enough to cause you pain you should go to therapy because you are obviously not well off on the head. Oh, and it STILL DOES NOT JUSTIFY KILLING SOMEBODY OVER IT.

I mean, really, did these people even think about what they were doing? What they are celebrating? If he’s dead, that’s a whole person gone from the earth. Did he have friends? Family? Loved ones? Hopes and dreams? And now those people will never see him again. His goals will never come to be. And why? Because of a ship? Because people on the internet couldn’t stand others loving things they didn’t like? Can you think of any subject more STUPID to hate somebody? To drive somebody to death?

This is not the first time the SU fandom drove someone to the edge of suicide. And I tell you right now, it’s not going to be the last. This is gonna keep happening. And you might be reading this and thinking I’m overreacting. I wish I was. I wish I had no reason to make this post. But Rex, and those who came before, are the horrible proof that no, I am not exaggerating.

And just like they came for him, they will come for you. Because you drew Connie’s nose too small, or her skin too light. Because you drew Pearl with boobs, or Mei and Rose skinny. Because you made Frisk’s eyes too asian, or Hanzo’s eyes not asian enough. Because your humanization of Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps is not the color THEY want it to be. Because you dared to ship the “wrong” ship. Because your opinion is something they don’t like.

I honestly don’t know how to close this, so I’ll just say, if anybody’s shitting on you or trying to get you to hurt yourself, block them. Your mental health and your life matter so much more than all the fictional characters in the world.

  • Murderer [points gun at Jungkook: You wanna die today?
  • Jungkook: Yeah, kinda.
  • Murderer [lowers gun]: Damn, you want to talk about it?
  • Jungkook: Ah...it's because of Jiminie-Hyung. Most things in my life begin with 'Because of Jiminie-Hyung', you know?
  • [few month later]
  • Jimin: Where is Jungkook?
  • Taehyung [playing a game]: He's go to the jail.
  • Jimin: WHAT?
  • Taehyung: It's just because of his weekly therapy with this scary guy who murdered someone in the neigborhood.
  • Jimin: Jungkook treat him? A social project?
  • Taehyung: Nope, the scary guy treat Jungkook.
  • Jimin: WHAT? MOOOOM!
  • Taehyung [mumbles]: Why can't i shut up?

“Don’t bother,” he replies grimly, “I said I wasn’t interested in this. If we fucked, sorry for leading you on, if we didn’t, I don’t know why you’d want to be associated with me anyways.” And Harry wants this conversation to end right there, now that he’s said his piece, so he looks back towards Y/N and says, “These are organic grapes, no?”

The girl gets the hint, leaving with a huff and Y/N tuts her tongue at him.

“You’re so mean, Harry! What if she really liked you?”

Harry shakes his head, “She liked my cock not me.” He says apathetically, and Y/N’s face turns towards sheepish like it always does when the mere mention of his escapades comes to head (which it doesn’t often, but he knows Y/N has ears and she hears things), “‘sides, she was rude to you. I don’t like that.” He straightens out, “Did you take your medicine?”

or

Harry doesn’t really like people, but he likes Y/N

Keep reading

wolftrapqueen27  asked:

Hello, again After reading your latest piece in the Hannigram Fluff Therapy series, I realised that I'm going to require as much of this warm, fluffy goodness as I can get, right through January 20, 2017. It's not a specific ask, but a humble request for more, and a thank you. You're a treasure to the fandom, and you're writing is often the only bright spot in my day/week. <3

Thank you so much my friend. I’m sorry this took so long to get to, but I hope you enjoy. <3

The lilt of Hannibal’s voice carried through the house, folding itself against the walls. Will followed the sound into the living room.

“You’re singing.”

Hannibal turned to him, ceasing his song. “A song from my childhood. My mother would sing it to me often.”

Will didn’t know the language, but deep in his bones he understood. “It’s about God.”

“In a sense. Did you sleep well?”

Will smiled and ducked his head, recalling the night previous, the way they’d made love for the very first time. “I did. Thank you.”

Hannibal reached for Will’s hand, brushing his knuckles with the softest kiss. “I’m happy to hear that. What would you like for breakfast?”

“Whatever you want,” Will said, gazing down at his hand when Hannibal let it go. “Tell me about your mother’s song.”

“A Lithuanian folk song about death and rebirth.”

Will laughed. “You truly did begin at the beginning. Your mother was religious?”

“Very. I’d never given much thought to the idea of worship myself. Until recently.”

A flush bloomed hotly on Will’s cheeks. “Please don’t build me an altar.”

Hannibal brushed his knuckles along Will’s cheek. “Our shared bed will serve just fine,” he said, smiling. “I’ll see to breakfast now, if you don’t mind.”

“Go on,” Will breathed, lost in Hannibal’s gaze. “I’m starving.”


[hannigram fluff therapy] | [tip jar]

rreneewalker  asked:

in honour of how dismissed nicky hemmick is, do you have any headcanons about him?

headcanons?? about my son?? Yes :^) (sorry this took so long asdfghjkl)

- definitely locks himself in the bedroom and just calls Erik when the twins (or even the other foxes) get to be too much, like when aaron makes an unnecessarily cruel comment or when andrew gives him a certain murderous look or when kevin someone dishes out too much “constructive” criticism at practice
- will actually drink those kale smoothies with Kevin if Kevin makes him one
- we’ve heard of therapy dogs for just about everyone else, but I’m just gonna throw this out there: Nicky with a therapy dog because he gets really depressed sometimes and Bee thought it would be good for him to have someone to take care of who will love him expressively and unconditionally
- he’s seen every movie known to man and he’s that one friend that understands any reference you could possibly make,, good to have around, 10/10 quality human
- sings along at the top of his lungs to the songs he likes and he’s… Actually pretty good? very nice voice, but often sings badly on purpose just to annoy Aaron
- likes to hang out with the upperclassmen now that Andrew isn’t totally against them:
- he calls Dan “mama” and she always rolls her eyes but she kinda likes it tbh
- let’s Allison put nail polish and eye liner on him but “none of that cover up shit, I’m proud of my ONE freckle thanks”
- discusses the bible with Renee tbh, like not very often but sometimes he’ll see her reading and ask about something and they’ll end up talking for hours
- Nicky: “Matt do you think pigeons have feelings”
Matt: “Nicky it’s 3 in the- oh my god… do they??”
Nicky:“I KNOW RIGHT”
- got into a fist fight with an opposing backliner because he was insulting Dan
- was really drunk once and talked shit about Aaron TO Aaron because he thought he was Andrew
- is secretly trying to learn french and russian

So stimming is becoming a more open and talked about thing, even amongst neurotypical people. I see stim boards, visual stimming is a common thing these days, etc. etc.

Here’s what I have to say.

Neurotypical people can stim. That’s cool. That’s great.

Visual stimming such as slime and glitter are all cool and great.

But what’s not cool and great is making stimming some trendy thing and assuming it’s only just the visual stuff, and/or turning around and isolating autistic people for our “weird” stims like flapping and rocking.

Visual stims are valid and nice, neurotypical stimming is valid and nice.

But what’s not valid and nice is turning stimming into some aesthetic.

What’s not valid or nice is NT people making “stim boards” but making fun of autistic people for stimming by flapping, rocking, chewing, bouncing, verbal stims, etc.

Stimming isn’t always pretty paint mixing and glitter. It’s can be a form of expression and calm to neurodivergent folk. It can, in a lot of ways, be how we survive in situations. Not all stims are pretty, some can be self harmful, some aren’t but just don’t fit the “Tumblr aesthetic™”

I don’t mind your stim boards. I like them. I don’t mind NT stimming. I dig it.

But what I don’t like is stimming becoming some thing NT’s take over and try to take the neurodivergence out of. It’s been our thing, it’s not a trendy aesthetic, it’s a literal form of expression and calming. NT’s have stress and things and need to fidget and stim too, that’s fine. But don’t just come here and make a stim account because it’s trendy. Because I know a ton of people like that probably have looked sideways at an autistic person stimming in public.

Visual stims and NT stimming and all that are valid and wonderful, but please don’t forget the not-so-pretty stims, the ones that have gotten autistics/neurodivergent people discriminated against and dehumanized. The stims that have gotten autistics abused in therapies because it doesn’t look “normal” Please don’t forget that. Please don’t forget us.

Stimming because it’s calming, fun, expression, etc. regardless of your neurology- Good, awesome, great, and valid 👍🏻

Stimming because it’s trendy and fits an aesthetic- Not good, awesome, great, or valid 👎🏻

I wanna see stim boards that have hand flapping, rocking, chewing, etc. included.

I wanna see NT people stimming and not forgetting the ways autistic/neurodivergent people have been discriminated against and dehumanized for our stims, and encouraging and including us.

I love the idea of stimming becoming more acceptable, but it seems it’s becoming some trendy aesthetic rather than an inclusive movement.

Stimming isn’t some trend made by neurotypicals to look cool. It’s a common neurodivergent behavior that helps us communicate, cope, etc. Neurotypicals do it too, and I love the idea of stimming becoming just a common thing that’s accepted, that’s all I could dream of. But it’s not all pretty or aesthetic-y. It’s not a NT created thing, so can we stop seeing it that way?

Don’t let this be another thing NT people use to exclude or discriminate against us.

Instead, lets use it as a way to spread more awareness and acceptance for stimming, and make society more inclusive and accepting towards it! And that includes ALL stims.

~ Skyler, Not your neurotypical girl

Not all people with OCD/OCPD are ready for exposure therapy. Forcing someone who is not ready into exposure therapy is extremely traumatizing.

If your friend/family member has OCD/OCPD and needs the windows closed and you purposely open them in attempt to “help them” you’re forcing a mentally ill person into a breakdown they didn’t need.

If your friend/family member has OCD/OCPD and contamination anxiety and you purposely wipe dirt on them or spill something on them to try and “help them” you are traumatizing someone.

You are not a liscened psychologist, you cannot practice exposure therapy because you don’t know how to. All you’re gonna do is traumatize them and ruin your relationship!

My report and testimony wasn’t enough

I was out at a pretty rowdy bar with several coworkers, and shortly before bar time a man started grabbing at my (very meek and shy) friend as she walked past him on her way to order something at the bar. She was trying to politely get away from him and shot me the “help me” look, but he was all over her. I walked over and got in between them, telling him firmly to back off. I’m a very small female, he was a much larger and very muscular male, and he instantly stood up and got in my space, shouting at me to mind my own business. When I told him that, as my friend, her safety was my business, he made a fist and swung. His punch landed on my sternum, lifting me off my feet and sending me flying down a few stairs into several chairs and some bystanders. He and his buddies laughed while a giant friendly bouncer scooped me up off the floor and carried me outside. I could barely breathe and was seriously dazed. My friends all gathered outside and then we left. After trying for a few hours to sleep but being in too much pain, I headed to the ER. Tests showed I had internal bleeding in my chest cavity that was impeding my breathing. I was treated and sent home to rest and recover. Later the morning, I contacted the police to report it, and they basically just gave me lip service and blew me off, saying they would fill out a report but that I shouldn’t expect anything to come of it. The next day, the bouncer that helped me went to the police of his own volition to make a report. Suddenly the police took it all very seriously, conducted an investigation, and arrested the man who hit me. He was convicted of assault and battery, and sentenced to 18 months probation with court mandated therapy, all because another man spoke up on my behalf. My report and testimony, and the witness statements of my female friends apparently wasn’t enough. Go figure.

the thing that impresses me most about the mental health storytelling on One Day at a Time isn’t just that it exists, it’s that so much of it is dependent on Penelope’s own agency. I can’t think of many (any???) other shows where someone goes to therapy because they WANT to, because they personally make that decision based on available information and curiosity and not in some kind of state of crisis or needing an intervention from a healthy character. She does it, she likes it, she continues to go because she’s getting something personally out of it, which in itself is remarkable because of the narrative of mental health treatment being a tournament of suffering before you’re allowed any kind of relief. She even finds community and connection with the women in her group!!!! 

It is just beyond refreshing to see a character who takes medication (again, because she’s like, maybe I want to do this, and decides to), whose mental health struggles are explicitly a part of her life, but who is also a stubborn goofy beautiful brave weirdo who enjoys her life and has so much else going on in it

that’s not even getting into the fact that this character is a woman of color, a woman with chronic pain, a woman who is consistently portrayed as a extremely competent at her job and a great mom and a great daughter and friend and person

on self-diagnosing

when i was about 14, i went to a mental health service and was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder. i got put on antidepressants that didn’t work and went to a few therapists that didn’t help me. my parents wasted hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars getting me treated for disorders that were not my true problem.

when i was 21, i went through the hardest break-up of my life. i went to a counselor who didn’t diagnose me at all - she talked to me like she didn’t care what my mental health issues were and that’s when i realized it doesn’t matter what your diagnosis is, as long as you’re getting treated for the problems that lie in front of you.

last year, when i was 21/22, i experienced a few bpd episodes. on new years, i got someone i was barely friends with to drive me over 30 minutes to my ex’s house to punch him in the face over something stupid. i couldn’t believe how manic it made me feel - i felt totally on top of the world. until the next day where the guilt swallowed me alive and i was stuck in yet another bout of depression. a couple months later, i found myself breaking down in the college stairwell over drama with another boy, calling my parents and telling them i was going to kill myself after he blocked me. they had to come pick me up because they didn’t think i would be okay if i drove.

i didn’t understand what was up with these symptoms. why did all of my depression stem from my relationships? why did i want to fling myself off of a bridge after the smallest disagreement? i was more than depressed - i was angry. i was so, so angry. for as long as i can remember, i’d cycle through the worst emotions followed by mania followed by the worst emotions. but it happened so fast, i could barely remember it by the time i got a chance to tell anyone.

i got back into therapy, into medication. i got put on a different antidepressant. i told my doctor, “you don’t understand. i have bouts of anger. do you have anything for that?” she prescribed me an anxiety medication for panic attacks.

the point is doctors do what they can to treat you. they don’t know what is going to help. they’re stumbling around blindly until they find something that works. they don’t truly know what’s going on in your head. they try to diagnose you on your first appointment at a mental health service and if you don’t portray all of your symptoms perfectly, you WILL get an incorrect diagnosis.

i never did my own research. i fed into the lie that psychiatrists/psychologists will do anything in their power to give you a correct diagnosis. i never self-diagnosed until i heard about bpd. luckily, i was already going to a psychiatrist when i heard about it, so i brought it up to him. he said, “huh, yeah, you’re probably right. that does sound like your symptoms” and prescribed me an anti-psychotic. still no diagnosis.

let me reiterate: i could have been getting the help i needed for YEARS, and i didn’t, because though i went through quite a few therapists and psychiatrists, none of them could figure out my diagnosis. it took the couple of “bpd freak-outs” i had for someone to take me seriously. for someone to finally say, “you have a lot of bipolar symptoms…” still not the right diagnosis, but it was getting closer, at least. if i didn’t have those freak-outs, i can guarantee you i still wouldn’t even have a “huh, yeah.” because in the world of psychiatrists (and a lot of times people who are anti self-diagnosis), your symptoms don’t matter until you have the worst possible symptoms, until your symptoms are outward, and that’s unfair and ridiculous.

so this is where the line gets blurred. to those who are anti self-diagnosis: am i allowed to say i have bpd because my psychiatrist told me i did but didn’t officially diagnose me? i ultimately stopped going to a psychiatrist and therapy because i spent another thousand dollars (out of my own pocket this time) to diagnose myself and i didn’t agree with the medication i was on. should i go back for one appointment just to satisfy your need for me to be officially diagnosed?

thinking back on the counselor i had when i was 21, i realized that the diagnosis doesn’t matter. but nobody takes you seriously unless you have a diagnosis and this is what’s wrong, not the fact that people self-diagnose. maybe if people took the symptoms seriously, people wouldn’t find the need to self-diagnose. maybe if mental illness wasn’t this exclusive club, people would feel more comfortable talking about their symptoms, even if they’re less drastic than yours are.

the point is this: somebody self-diagnosing doesn’t affect you. the only reason people knock people for self-diagnosing is because they want to feel powerful and elite. congratulations - you have an official diagnosis. i have three if you count adhd. but my most important number four diagnosis is being left untreated and tumblr has helped me get though a lot of my bpd-related issues and to that, i am thankful. because the resources are always going to be more important than the diagnosis and i am happy that those who self-diagnose are getting the resources they need.

I stopped going to therapy
because I knew my therapist was right
and I wanted to keep being wrong.
I wanted to keep my bad habits
like charms on a bracelet.
I did not want to be brave.
I think I like my brain best
in a bar fight with my heart.
I think I like myself a little broken.
I’m ok if that makes me less loved.
I like poetry better than therapy anyway.
The poems never judge me
for healing wrong.
—  Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers

I need to learn to understand that just because therapy is hard for me and just because I struggle with recovery does not mean I will never get better.

It’s really hard to convince myself that it’s true, but that’s something I’m working on.

Lovaas literally didn’t see autistic people as human. Tell me again about the respect this man had for disabled people. Tell me he saw autistic people as humans and just wanted to help us live “in the real world”.

This is the therapist who created ABA. This is the therapy people are defending. If you are an “autism parent” who defends ABA, I suggest you read this passage and listen to autistic people when we say ABA is abusive and dehumanizing.